Tag: Sex Work

What Are The Rules To Follow When Working In A Brothel

People are much too puritanical, even in a modern society. The idea of marriage based on love and compatibility is relatively new, for a long time marriage was more done for politics and business deals. So for the same society that wants to believe in free “real” love to not see physical aspects of it as a service that can be sold is a little strange, sex work is one of the oldest professions.

For eons, men and women have traded sexual services for other services, goods, and currency. The old monarchy of France was notorious for the courtesans who made up the royal court. Sex workers throughout all of history came from all walks of life and serviced people at all economic and social status levels. The general public should be more accepting as it’s a perfectly valid means for one to make their way in the world.

How Does A Brothel Work?

Safety and discretion are top priorities. By law, all sex workers must be tested weekly for STDs and to be able to work, must prove to be STD-free. Legal sex workers at brothels are licensed to work the brothel by the county in the state and must be able to pass a background check (some counties are stricter than others, I’ve been told the county I work in – where the Mustang Ranch is – happens to be one of the strictest). Condoms are also mandatory for sex acts that exchange bodily fluids. Prior to even paying for a service, a sex worker must check a customer’s genitals for any potential problem (such as unusual discharge) that could make booking a session (or “party” as we call it in the industry) too much of a hazard to the sex worker. In the rooms, parties take place in there have hidden “panic buttons” connected to the main office so the sex worker can trigger should something go wrong or a hazard be presented. Every brothel has these in the rooms for sex worker and customer safety.

Discretion is also important. For a long time, brothels didn’t even allow women who weren’t sex workers or staff to be on the premises (this has since been changed to allow couples and single female clients) to try to keep snooping spouses at bay. Identities of customers are not made public by brothel staff or sex workers. Some customers choose to take part in chatrooms and message boards under handles which can be recognized by staff at brothels they frequent but rarely are legal names given out. The only time brothel staff need to see an ID is when someone comes in the door and they make sure they’re over 18, when they want to buy drinks at the bar to make sure they’re over 21, and to process credit card transactions to confirm the card is legit and not stolen.

Us sex workers don’t care if customers give us their real names. The appeal to brothels is the privacy. Where I work at the Mustang Ranch, cell phones and cameras are not allowed in the bar and in other public areas, customers could be in for the privacy of customers and the sex workers. This is due to the rise of social media and apps where it could be a privacy risk if a photo appears somewhere. What a customer and sex worker agrees to do in the confines of the room they party in (such as taking photos or recording the party) is up to them. What happens in a brothel stays in the brothel. This is to ensure privacy for customers and sex workers alike as many sex workers also keep their job private.

As to how it works, all legal Nevada brothels follow a basic system:

A customer comes in the door and has their ID checked either by a hostess or bouncer depending on location.(Customers must be over 18 to enter and get services at a brothel in most counties – there is at least one county where the minimum age to enter a brothel and get service is 21.) They’re asked if they would like a lineup (there is an exception at a few brothels which have a more relaxed atmosphere in which the customer themselves can request the lineup but usually, available sex workers are out in a bar or lounge area for them to talk to and approach first). A lineup is when the customer is brought to a seat and all available sex workers come out, introduce themselves, and stand side by side. (Each brothel has its rules on what it considers to be “dirty hustling” or bad form displayed by sex workers to unfairly try to get a customer – a common one is sex workers can’t prance about fully nude on the floor or in a lineup and can’t flash their private areas in a lineup.)

A customer then chooses a sex worker to take a tour with. In the case of brothels where lineups are optional or the customer doesn’t want one and wants to talk to sex workers in the bar instead, once a customer and sex worker connects in the bar, the sex worker can also take them on a tour. The tour consists of the sex worker showing the customer around the property explaining how things work. Some brothels are larger than others and have a lot of amenities worth showcasing such as pools, jacuzzis, luxury bungalow suites, specialty rooms (such as “dungeon” themed rooms with the right furniture and tools for those more “50 Shades” and beyond minded), even souvenir shops. Others are smaller with just a parlor, bar, and rooms the sex workers do their work and reside in. The tour gives a client extra time to get comfortable with the sex worker as well as with the new and different environment as usually some extra conversation is exchanged during the tour as well.

After that (or if a client isn’t new to brothels and wants to skip that part) they go into negotiation. A negotiation is where the sex worker and customer discusses prices for services. In a few brothels, this takes place in a designated “negotiation room” which consists of comfy seating, good relaxed lighting, and the tools needed to proceed to the step following a negotiation before payment. In other brothels, the negotiation takes place in the same room the sex worker does their work in (and they also do the next step there as well). All sex workers in brothels are hired as Independent Contractors. This means that each sex worker has their own rates they set for specific services and not all sex workers offer the same things.

A couple of brothels do have “fixed price” menus their sex workers follow but those brothels are smaller and appeal to customers with usually pretty standard and common requests. Brothels with extra amenities such as luxury bungalows and suites have spending minimums a customer must be able to meet in order to use them as part of their party, otherwise the party takes place in the sex worker’s room. (And sometimes even if the customer does meet the minimum, they can choose to not take part in any of the amenities and other perks (such as complimentary drinks) and just go right for the party in the sex worker’s room.) Prices vary depending on the type of activity (or activities) and the amount of time desired. Some sex workers consider certain activities to be “specialties” and therefore charge more while others may feel those are standard to them and have different rates. Because of solicitation laws, sex workers cannot list prices for services online or over the phone (and generally in brothels, prices are only discussed in the designated negotiation area).

If the customer and sex worker can’t come to an agreement, the sex worker takes the customer out to choose and talk to a different sex worker. If they do come to an agreement then before the party can be booked and paid for, the sex worker must check the customer’s genitals (as previously stated) for safety. If everything looks okay they can go to the cashier to pay for and book the party. (All brothels take cash in US currency and most take all major credit and debit cards.) Depending on the sex worker, the desired activities, and desired amount of time, prices can range from a few hundred to a few thousand (or more) – there are a lot of variables. Most, if not all brothels, try to be accommodating to customers from any income bracket and social status and encourage their sex workers to do the same, if they can.

However, a sex worker reserves the right to refuse service to a customer for any reason (and especially if they do not feel comfortable booking the party after doing the genital check). If the sex worker isn’t sure during the genital check, they may bring in a member of staff or another sex worker to help them come to a conclusion. If a customer cannot pass the genital check they cannot book any party with any sex worker in the brothel and are politely escorted out. As stated previously, if the sex worker and customer simply can’t come to an agreement, the customer is just brought back to an open common area to talk to another sex worker, or they’re free to grab a drink at the bar or just leave if they don’t feel confident they’ll get what they’re looking for (or only had their sights set on specific sex workers in the first place).

Once a party is booked and paid for, the sex worker is given a “setup” (a large sheet to go over the bed, a couple of bath towels for the shower (or bathtub/jacuzzi), and a hand towel) and takes the customer to the room the party itself takes place in. Most brothels include a free shower for the customer as part of the party to wash off before beginning, and those that don’t, as part of policy, most sex workers include it. (“Shower parties” where the customer and sex worker(s) take a shower together and have fun are also something brothels and most sex workers offer, but has to be negotiated.) Sex workers are in charge of providing barrier protection (the condoms and even dental dams), lubricants, massage oils, toys, and any other party tools. Sex workers do not take or use condoms provided by customers for safety reasons. If a customer has a specific tool they’d like to use as part of their party they don’t think the brothel has or sex worker can provide, they can always call the brothel ahead of time and ask if they’re allowed to bring it.

Usually brothels are alright with that, but a member of staff may look it over when the customer comes in to make sure it’s safe. Brothels and sex workers do not provide prescription or over the counter oral treatments for erectile dysfunction (if a customer feels they need that, that’s on them to acquire and take beforehand) but some might have lubricants/creams that may have sensation-heightening properties that help with such things. Then what goes on during the party stays confined to the party area. All completely private! Depending on the brothel, when the negotiated amount of time is up a staff member will call time either through a speaker or knocking on the door. A customer can choose to “rebook” (book more time) and if they do that, then in the party room they negotiate the extra time and activities and the sex worker notifies the staff to accept the payment.

If everything is good and the customer is satisfied or just ready to leave (even though they wish they could be there all day!) they have time to get cleaned up and redressed. The sex worker then escorts them either to the bar/lounge/common area or to the exit depending on the customer’s request. After a party, the setup used goes in a designated laundry area and the sex worker cleans themselves and freshens up before going back on the floor to see another customer. Overnight (or longer) parties and parties with more than one sex worker are not uncommon requests either.

Ones with multiple sex workers, the negotiation must happen with all desired sex workers and they must all come to an agreement – one sex worker can’t speak for and decide for others. Overnights do tend to be priced on the higher side, depending, and extended stays beyond that usually have to also be discussed with someone in management to make sure everything runs smoothly to the customer’s satisfaction. Sex workers in brothels also commonly see couples and single female customers as well – though that is at the discretion of the individual sex worker including how they price their rates for such parties. Some consider those specialties while others do not. At the end of the day – everything is about customer satisfaction.

Certain types of parties are permitted by law in some brothels but not in others. To legally offer receiving anal intercourse, the sex worker must get the additional testing of the anal region as part of their STD testing. And if one sex worker offers anal, all sex workers in the same brothel (whether they offer it or not) need to be tested. Not all clinics that service the brothels for testing offer testing for anal, so because of that, for some brothels it’s not legal for sex workers to offer receiving anal intercourse as a service – period. Also, some brothels have clear signs on display that their sex workers do not offer anal. The one brothel I know that tests sex workers to be able to offer anal is the Mustang Ranch (though as mentioned, even though it’s standard testing in the house, not every sex worker offers it).

Another type of party that is legally offered in some brothels in certain counties and not others are “outdates” – where a customer can come to the brothel and negotiate time and activities with a sex worker where they go somewhere off the brothel property (but the sex worker cannot leave Nevada state lines). Whether on or off property, the sex worker still has to follow Nevada state as well as county laws with their services (so the condom law is the condom law, for example). Outdates must also be approved by a member of management at the brothel to ensure safety and security for the sex worker. Popular outdates tend to involve going to a nice restaurant for dinner, a show or a movie, or to a casino. When special events are in certain areas, customers also like to book outdates with their favorite sex workers to accompany them to those as well. Outdates however, are not legal to offer in all counties, so for a customer interested in doing that it’s always best to do some research and when in doubt – call the brothel. While the staff on the phone cannot disclose prices or give a full list of available sex workers, they can say if certain things are legally offered and available there or not. The office can also be called to inquire if a certain sex worker is currently there, as well as to set up an appointment to meet with and negotiate a party with a specific sex worker (or sex workers).

The Mustang Ranch, where I work, because of how they’re setup and operate, allow sex workers to have some of the most varied and diverse menu options of any brothel, For customers looking for something specific that may not be standard, or just want to make sure all their bases are covered, the Mustang should be heavily considered. Its size allows it to have dozens of sex workers available at all times. The premises itself includes a variety of amenities. The location is very close to Reno, while still being in a county where it can legally operate. It’s the only large brothel with a non-smoking bar. Every sex worker in house is tested for everything (including the anal test – whether the sex worker chooses to offer it or not). It is in a county that permits them to allow their sex workers to do outdates with customers. It’s also an older, established name and brand – recognizable to tourists. There are many reasons why I personally choose to work there.

How much a sex worker makes, because it’s not the kind of job with set hourly wages or salaries, but depends on how many customers they see and how much they charge is hard to say. Even to pinpoint to how much is made in a week, month, or year – there’s too many variables. However, I can say those who take the work seriously, are patient, and are dedicated to providing optimal customer service tend to do quite well. But the same could be said for any job!

Kitti Minx – A model, cosplayer, and adult performer who specialized in the niches of “Alternative”, “Geek Chic”, “Cosplay”, and “Fetish”. She does photoshoots and a XXX video for a variety of companies as well as her own website. For one on one intimate experiences with fans she offers services as a legal luxury companion at the world famous Mustang Ranch in Reno, Nevada.

Follow Kitti Minx on:

Website: http://www.kitti-minx.com
Blog: http://www.cosplaycourtesan.com

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Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KittiMinxOfficial/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kittiminx/
Suicide Girls: https://www.suicidegirls.com/members/kittiminx/

Upcoming Events: Kitti Minx is available for appointment at the Mustang Ranch in Reno, Nevada. Check out her social media to see her schedule! Also through her social media she shares Live Streams, videos, articles, and other content.

Images courtesy of Kitti Minx

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January 15, 2018
Sex Work & Feminism

For me, and for all the sex workers I know, sex work is work. That means that it is a job that is just as valid as any other job, with its definite pros and cons, and some people love their job while others hate it, just like in any other field of work. A lot of people who are not familiar with the sex industry tend to confuse sex work and sex exploitation. The former implicates a choice to be in this line of work, while the latter implies coercion. All sex workers are opposed to sex exploitation.

With that being said, my personal way of seeing sex work is one of exchange, connection, and intimacy. We all need to be touched and desired from time to time. What I am selling is not my body, but my time, my companionship, the way someone feels in my presence, and a true connection on a human level – all of which are key elements to intimacy. I like to describe myself as a professional fairy: I create a multi-sensorial bubble in which my partner and I are free to discover one another, and, sometimes, a little bit of ourselves.

Misconceptions About Sex Workers

One of the biggest misconceptions about sex work is, as I already mentioned, the fact that people don’t differentiate work from exploitation. In that line of thinking, there is a widespread theory among some types of feminism that states that any money transaction in a sexual context takes away the person’s ability to consent to said sexual activities. The problem is that kind of thinking denies all agency to sex workers, who are grown women who are otherwise perfectly able to think and decide for themselves. There is just as much violence in denying a person the ability to consent, as there is in not respecting that consent. (As a parenthesis, I just want to add that the vast majority of the sex workers I know are especially intelligent, strong and grounded people, able to stand up, speak, and provide for themselves, usually better so than most people.)

Another misconception that is often encountered, is that sex workers have necessarily suffered abuse, or live with mental health problems. The thing is, some sex workers have had traumas in their lives, while others have not. Some sex workers do live with a mental health condition, but then again a lot of people who are not in the sex industry do too. It is also important to mention that we, as a society, tend to judge more severely women when they make a choice that is considered “risky,” and associate it with emotional instability, instead of bravery as we would naturally do with men.

Why Is Sex Work Stigmatized In Society?

As developed by Gail Pheterson in “The Prostitution Prism” and “The Whore Stigma,” the oldest form of prostitution is marriage. Historically as societies, we have used marriage to keep women in line and we have put on them the whole burden of sexual, domestic, and emotional labor, expecting them to care for everyone in the household without any form of compensation. Nowadays, marriage has been replaced by the traditional monogamous heterosexual relationship, but the expectations towards women have barely changed. That is why, when a woman takes control of her own sexuality, and chooses to sell her sexual and emotional labor, we collectively feel like what she is doing is inherently wrong. We keep sex work as a taboo, we ostracize sex workers and clients (thus making their work even more dangerous), because on top of not offering all that labor to a single man, the women who choose to do sex work get an immediate and direct financial compensation for the work they do – how dare they, right?

What I Love About Being A Sex Worker

I especially love the freedom that sex work gives me. I am an independent courtesan, so I get to make my own schedules and choose the clients that I see. I am also a full time student and a writer, so a job that gives me both free time and a lot of inspiration is the best for me!

Another positive side of sex work to me is the fact that it forces you to set limits for yourself. Surprisingly, I found that having to word out those limits in a professional environment made setting them in my personal life easier, thus making my overall sexual life healthier.

Can Sex Work Be Empowering?

Absolutely! As Virginie Despentes writes in her essay “King Kong Theory,” it is all about the mind state and the consciousness of what one is doing. For example, dressing up in a sexy way and wearing high heels, when done strictly to please men, or when done without thinking about it, can be considered a symbol of female oppression – because society forces that look on women and tells them that it is the only way to be beautiful and desirable, and the subtext of that tells women that being desirable to men should be their main goal in life at all times. But, from another perspective, if a woman is wearing heels and lingerie in order to get a direct benefit from it (such as money from a client) and she is conscious of it, the choice of clothing switches from being oppressive to being subversive. The same goes for body hair removal, makeup, or having phallocentric sex. When you are a woman, the act of consciously complying to a societal sexist imperative in order to make money off of it is in itself an act of rebellion, and should be celebrated as such. 🙂

Léonie Stein – A professional fairy and independent courtesan from Montreal. Free-spirited, curious, and adventurous, as a full time student and writer I thrive on art and literature, as well as on pop and internet cultures. I am both easygoing and sophisticated, and human beings fascinate me. I consider myself a radical feminist and a sex workers’ rights advocate.

Follow Léonie Stein on:
Website: www.leoniesteinmontreal.com

Eros: https://ca.eros.com/quebec/montreal/files/9342173.htm?wn=1

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Twitter: https://twitter.com/LeonieSteinMtl

Check out Léonie Steins’ duo options at https://www.leoniesteinmontreal.com/double-tasting

Images courtesy of Léonie Stein

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May 31, 2017
Experiences Of A Sex Worker

I love sex! I think sexual urges and fantasies are natural, and ever since fully embracing my own sexuality I’ve received so much more pleasure in life and through all the experiences that I’ve been able to have. I was incredibly shy throughout my teen years, and had the worst social anxiety. This actually led me to being homeschooled during high school. Despite my socializing problems at the time, I grew to really dislike the lack of being in a social atmosphere and/or stimulated by the conversation and thoughts of others. It’s made me appreciate the interactions that I now have with people much more. Homeschooling also gave me the time and opportunity to seek out my own interests and passions, subjects that never even stuck to me when attending public school.

Once turning 18, and having been felt like a caged bird by the end of high school, I was ready to be on my own! I had a sugar daddy starting off when I first moved to D.C. During that, I discovered how much I loved the company of an older gentleman, and I found that I was able to really enjoy my conversations with them. I respected and valued the discretion, but did not like the feeling of it being more like a relationship instead of an open love that could grow and one that did not have to be defined. The sugar baby relationship lasted roughly 7 months, and I honestly just jumped into escorting. I started with an agency, and assumed that I would learn from them and from experience. I was fortunate enough to have a lady who helped and explained everything to me, and was really quite patient me. But by no means am I recommending that anyone jump right in! There are easy mistakes to avoid, and tips to learn; it would be much more beneficial to read and educate yourself beforehand.

What I Love About Escorting

My greatest passions are learning all I can about the world, and making others happy. This lifestyle has given me the amazing opportunity to do both! I’ve met some of the best guys, and made some of the greatest friends. I love the socializing, the intimacy, and the mutual happiness my clients and I bring each other – whether it’s only one encounter, or numerous! I meet the greatest dynamic of people; finding ways to relate to them is something that has not only furthered my social skills, but educated me on topics that my clients share through their own learnings and life experience.

I also love the traveling. I’ve always travelled even through my youth, and I don’t think I could ever call one place home forever. This lifestyle has allowed me to see some of the most beautiful places, all while doing what I love! This has become such an amazing opportunity helping me work towards future goals and dreams. The ability to support myself fully and to take care of any school debt in and of itself has been the most fulfilling feeling, but the people that I have met and the things that I have learned through this lifestyle are priceless.

Screening The Clients

There are various screening sites to further validate a client’s identity, but I would say one of the biggest ways I rely on deciding to see a client or not would be the trust amongst the SW community. I ask that clients provide at least two references (providers that will vouch for them saying that they are real, safe, and respectful). References and a screening handle is not enough to get through screening, however. I also require a photo of their ID prior to meeting along with their work information. All of this information is erased after screening is complete. Clients see enough of my presence online (through social media, my p411, and my booking site) to know that I am who I say I am, so me asking for the same validation in return should not be an issue for them and if it is, I don’t book. I value and respect discretion, and would not have the reputation that I have built if I ever abused a client’s privacy.

Weirdest Client Requests I Have Received

Well, one person’s weird is another person’s kink. But I’ve definitely had some odd requests – some that I agreed to, some I refused, and some I just couldn’t bring myself to do. One time in specific I remember a guy was just absolutely infatuated with my nose. The whole session he was staring at it, he was playing with it, and even in the middle of making out I’d feel two fingers in the shape of scissors slide down the middle of my face and just pinch my nose. The random nose pinches continued even during sex, barely making eye contact with me but instead staring at my nose; occasionally leaning in and putting his whole mouth on it as if he was giving my nose a sloppy kiss or something!

One request I just couldn’t bring myself to do was a roleplay act. I initially should’ve known he had something up his sleeve cause he walked in with a Whole Foods bag. I was the innocent schoolgirl that apparently got caught blowing two guys in the locker room, and I was facing suspension. The only way to avoid suspension was to sleep with my principal..but first, had to “demonstrate what exactly I was doing to the two boy students”. He grabs his bag and pulls out a banana and a condom. He slides this condom so smoothly on the banana, I’m convinced his real job is a sex Ed coach. He then holds the banana out, looking at me. I am looking at him. We are just staring at each other for a solid minute before he again asks me to demonstrate how I gave a blowjob. I lean down, hovering over the banana, and all I am thinking is “I will never forget the time that I seriously gave oral to a fruit”, I licked the tip of the banana, then snapped away apologizing profusely saying “Sorry, I can’t! I just can’t do it, I’m a terrible actor! Can i just…. demonstrate on you?!” Not my sexiest way of denying a request… but looking back on the two stories now, it almost seems like the banana request should’ve been much easier to fulfill LOL.

Preparing For A Date With A Client

I am still a nervous wreck before every date, regardless of how many times I’ve seen someone. The whole time getting ready is me telling myself to not be weird. The nerves are every time, but I’d never want to feel indifferent or bored. The anxiety and build up is what makes the meet so much sweeter. I am typically sitting on my sink counter getting myself pretty..even if there is a vanity, a sink counter always seems to be a girl’s zen place. After the getting ready process, it’s an extensive amount of YouTube video watching that I always end up regretting, a minimum of 30 pictures taken all of which ended up getting erased anyway, and Mariah Carey karaoke. I also make sure everything is in place, and that my date doesn’t go without supplies! Once I meet my date, my nervousness eases and I’m filled with joy and excitement to see them. Every time is a new experience.

Featured image from Shutterstock

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April 27, 2017
Things To Know Before Becoming An Escort

My personal thoughts about sex have grown since being raised to believe that sex should be between a man and woman, and should not be done until marriage. Since working in the sex industry and becoming sexually active two years ago when I was 16, I believe that sex can be whatever you want it to be. Our society has grown from the stigma around sex, and the “logic” that sex is not sex without penetration is fading makes me more open to talking about sex, and not keeping it a secret that sex work is my career choice. To me, sex in the industry is currency, and sex in my personal life is emotion.

Starting Out Into Sex Work

Stepping into the sex work industry began with my aspirations to become a porn star at a very young age (probably too young) and I found a decent looking producer who had worked with a couple of big names. After shooting a few scenes, the producer introduced me to the escorting agency that he owned, and offered me a job. My perceptions of sex work before becoming part of the industry was based on everything I have seen in the movies, on TV or reading articles on “How to become a porn star”. I thought that the industry would be easy to deal with mentally, and it was at first, but after only 6 months being a sex worker, I learned otherwise.

Not What I Expected

After being a sex worker for 6 months, I started to realize that although movies and TV shows may document sex work, they either showed the horrific and traumatic side, or the luxurious glamour side, there was no in-between. I started noticing that I was conditioning myself to be able to mentally deal with going into work every day, and my patience with clients was decreasing every day.

When I decided that I did not like escorting anymore, the dollar signs that blinded me made me realize what I was missing, girls being manipulated to work on their periods, or seeing agency owners try and take advantage of the girls started to disgust me. My reality check didn’t really hit me until I found some forms at an agency’s location. The form listed services, and choices to select, one being “dislike but will do”. It confused and repulsed me to think of how somebody left an option to check that lets girls perform services like “fantasy rape” “rimming” and “slapping” even though they do not like to.

The saddest part about these forms, was that the girl who had filled it out, selected “dislike but will do” on way more than one service. I expected there to be negative parts of the industry, I just didn’t expect for me to work for and be associated with those types of agencies.

Be Independent Or Join An Agency?

Being an independent escort means booking your own clients, posting your own ads, and exposing yourself to a higher danger risk. Almost all of these agencies are not owned by your average John Doe, and even if they are, I am almost certain that they are associated with the type of people who can provide a high degree of “security”. The only benefits of being an independent escort, include not having to pay your boss a cut of what you make, and not having to be pushed or persuaded into doing services you don’t feel comfortable doing or working more than you want, and even then, there will ALWAYS be at least one client that insists on not using protection, paying the full price, or being aggressive with what they want. Ultimately, the pro’s and con’s of escorting with an agency vs. independent balance out. Neither are safe.

One Important Tip

Many of my friends, and even strangers, male and female call, text, email or message me through my social media accounts asking for advice on becoming an escort; my advice always stays the same. You need to be at peace with the fact that at any given moment your family or friends could and most likely will find out that you are a sex worker. Anybody who has second thughts about going into the industry, should not pursue becoming an escort.

I don’t waste my time explaining the dangers of escorting to people to ask me about it, because it’s common sense, that being a prostitute (and yes, I used the P word) is dangerous. I thought being an escort would be my career, and that I could last as an escort. Ultimately I changed paths, while still a sex worker I now work at a spa, where I am free to do whatever service I am comfortable with or no service and just a massage if I please.

I recommend finding an agency that is women owned and operated; it may not make a huge difference for other girls, but it sure did for me. At the end of the day it is a person’s decision whether or not they will be sucked into the sex work industry and it will not take long at all for anyone to realize if sex work is for them or not.

Cece Richwood (formerly known as Cici Stiff) is an 18 year old rising porn star and former escort from Canada. Cece dropped out of high school after 2 years leaving her passion for playing American football behind. Knowing she would enter the sex work industry and some day make it big, Cece kept her stage name true to what she is known by in her personal life (Cece/Cecilia); her family and friends are all aware of her choice to be a sex worker and supports her. Currently Cece works at a health center as a day job and is striving to shine in the porn industry while taking her experiences as an escort to guide her through the sex work industry. Cece has an upcoming episode airing on MTV called “MTV True Life: I need Danger Sex” documenting her life as a sex worker, and discovering the category of “Dangerous Sex” porn.

Follow Cece on Twitter @CeceRichwood, Clips4Sale http://clips4sale.com/list/en/search/Cici%20stiff/category/0/storesPage/1/clipsPage/1 and bookings at CeceRichwood@gmail.com

Images courtesy of Cece Richmood
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August 31, 2016
8 Questions You Should Stop Asking Sex Workers

Before I begin, I want all of the non-sex workers to realize that this article isn’t meant to be in rude or unkind. If you’re feeling a bit offended by this, just put yourself in our shoes. Being asked uninformed, annoying, and sometimes borderline offensive questions gets very old very quick. We just want you all to be informed.

Do your parents know about what you do?

To the naive eye, this seems like a harmless question. For some, it is. For others, it isn’t. Every family is different, and not everyone’s parents are open minded. For those people, it might be a very sore subject. Bringing it up time and time again can stir up some pretty harsh memories. It’s best to just leave it alone. If they’re open to talk about it, they will on their own, without strangers prodding about it.

Why don’t you get a real job?

Okay, we all know you’re not saying this out of curiousity because you’re straight up saying that what we do isn’t real work. That isn’t okay, and it definitely isn’t for you to say whether or not Sex Work is ~real work~. We pay taxes, just like you. We work hard every day, just like you. If you think otherwise, take a walk in our shoes for a day. Seriously, don’t ask this question. It’s hateful and rude.

What will you do when you get too old for sex work?

None of us were aware that sex work had an age limit. You should probably tell Dita Von Teese, who turns 43 this year. I’ve heard a range of different ages that people believe women should quit sex work. 50. 25. 34. 23. Seriously, stop. You never hear “what will you do when you get too old to be a Chef?” or “Don’t you think you’re a little too old to be a customer service provider?” now do you? Stop asking us this. Sex Work does not have an age limit, just in the same way that any other job doesn’t have an age limit.

How can I do what you do?

As someone who entered the industry with no help, started with no help, and gained a following with no help; I don’t understand the point of this question. It’s not rocket science. You join a site. You produce content. You market yourself. There’s no magical secret to it. You have to be independent, unique, and business savvy. None of us can do that for you and not a single one of us want to spoon feed you because none of us were spoon fed. Furthermore, nothing we can say will guarantee that you’ll even be successful because there are a lot of personal factors that come into play when it comes to being successful as a sex work. What works for me might not work for you. Stop wasting your time asking this question and spend a little more time doing personal research and getting into the field.

Is your significant other okay with you doing sex work?

Why do you care? Seriously, what compels you to ask this? Trust me, most of us wouldn’t be with the people we’re with if they didn’t approve. Furthermore, I’d like to add that NO ONE should ever allow their significant other to control their decisions (considering that they’re not harmful to them, which sex work is NOT, no matter how much people try to paint it otherwise). You need a partner, not a parent.

Do you like your job?

While a lot of Sex Workers love the job, not all Sex Workers are crazy about it or see it as a career. Some do it for survival rather than passion (which doesn’t necessarily mean that the two are mutually exclusive). Furthermore, why do we have to like it? Why are we required to enjoy our job when no one else is? No one bats an eye when someone working a Non-Sex Work job complains about their work, but when we even make the smallest complaints, we recieve such horrible backlash.

Does your job make you feel dehumanized?

Let me ask you; would you ask this of someone that worked a vanilla job? Why are we required to constantly explain to complete strangers why our jobs don’t dehumanize us? It almost seems like we’re always required to remind YOU that we’re humans. You wouldn’t even ask a non-nude model this, despite the fact that the job is exceedingly similar. Personally, I’ve never found the job dehumanizing, but I definitely find this question dehumanizing. It is rude, and it’s silly. It’d probably be best if you didn’t ask this anymore.

Don’t you think you’re too pretty for sex work?

Come on. A pretty big portion of the job is based on appearance. Do you really think this is a smart question?

There you have it, ladies and gentlemen. These are only the few of the questions you should probably refrain from asking. Don’t get me wrong, a lot of us love talking about the job, but in a positive light. Most of the questions above can come across as mean spirited, and sometimes they are. Please take that into consideration before you attempt to ask us anything. Furthermore, I’d like to thank Espi Kvlt and AurraSing for their helpful input. You can check them both out on their tumblr pages.

http://espikvlt.com/

http://gothamswhore.tumblr.com/

Feature image courtesy of Shutterstock
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March 23, 2015
Why Asking Me How to Be a Sex Worker is Annoying For Me, and Bad for You

We all complain about it on a regular basis. Yet the questions keeps pouring in. “Tell me how to be a cam girl!” “Tell me how to be a stripper!” “Tell me how to be a full-service sex worker!” While my experience is mostly in “Tell me how to sell my nude photos/masturbation clips!” we all hear all of the above constantly. And now I am here to shine a light on why it’s not only terribly annoying for us, but also why asking us is pointless for you, and a waste of both of our time.

The first thing people need to understand is that no two sex workers have the same experience. None. Just because I make as much doing sex work as I do at my vanilla job doesn’t mean you will. Just because I can balance sex work, a vanilla job, and going to a university doesn’t mean you’ll be able to. Just because I’ve branched out my sex work into several different directions doesn’t mean you will. There’s nothing wrong with you if you don’t do the same things I do, or make as much as I do, but you do need to understand that you and I aren’t going to have the same experience, and that’s a crucial aspect of being a sex worker.

Asking me how much I make in an average month is not just rude—it’s useless information. It will in no way determine how much you will make and it’s kind of a ridiculous question. There is no “average” for me. I make as much as people spend. This isn’t a vanilla job, and I’m not guaranteed to make anything at all. Please consider how it feels to be at the other end of the computer screen with someone asking you for your income for the previous two years. Please consider how rude that is. I know it’s not always intentionally rude, but that tone will always exist, regardless.

Another thing people need to understand is that just taking my niche and trying to market it not only makes you come off as someone who can’t be creative by yourself, but it’s very unlikely you’re going to make sales that way. I had someone come to me talking about how they want to use “Kvlt” in their model name, and I was blown away. To me, that just screams “I’m taking what you’ve already built and am going to remarket that because I believe it will get me more sales.” And I can guarantee you: stealing concepts/niches from other sex workers will not earn you instant success, and in fact, will make people a lot less likely to buy from you. Why would someone want to buy from someone who just steals ideas from the original creator of those ideas?

The same goes with content ideas. You wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve put a set or video up for sale, only to see another sex worker, or sometimes multiple sex workers, put up the same exact thing. Even if the content itself isn’t that original, to put up the same thing an hour or two after another sex worker, once again, is not the way to go about this business. Be creative! It’s unlikely you’ll make very many sales on ideas stolen from other people.

And perhaps even worse than all of that, the dreaded question, “How do I get started?” I’ve seen this question rise more and more the more I’ve been on Tumblr and every time, it baffles me. No one coached me into sex work. I figured out everything by myself, made mistakes, did everything on my own. I would say “use Google,” but even that shouldn’t be necessary. In the two years of being a sex worker, I’ve never Googled how to do anything. Everything I’ve done, I’ve figured out by myself and I think that I’m doing fairly well considering. Honestly, if you need someone to coach you into how to be a sex worker, this is not the industry for you. Especially working independently. If you won’t take the time to figure out the ins and outs of this industry, then you definitely aren’t going to take the time necessary to be successful in this industry. It may sound harsh, but it’s the truth.

I’ve seen so many girls come into sex work and fade away just as quickly. They’re the kind of people who put up one video, never advertise, and wait for the money to roll in, and that’s just not going to work. When people send their laundry list of questions about becoming a sex worker, it’s usually also met with the final sentence, “I’m hoping to make money really quick.” Well, you’re probably not going to make money really quick. Newbies in the sex industry really need to get that idea out of their heads asap, or they’re very likely to be disappointed.

Similarly, I’ve received questions like “I’ve been doing sex work for about a month now, and I’m so upset because no one’s buying anything!” Sex work is not an industry of instant success and if no one’s buying anything after a month, that doesn’t mean you suck as a sex worker. It means you’re in an industry where people aren’t always going to buy your content, and that’s just a fact. If you drop out a month in because no one has bought anything, you probably weren’t going to make it very long in sex work, anyway. And there’s of course the questions that need to be asked: Have you even advertised your content at all? Just posting it once on Tumblr and then nothing else isn’t really advertising. Please keep that in mind.

There’s also the new sex workers who ask me for a list of where I’ve gotten every article of clothing I’ve worn in all the content I’ve sold. Please don’t just wear the same things other sex workers wear. While I understand some of us are going to wear the same lingerie sometimes and that’s fine, purposefully trying to sell content in the same things I wear after asking me for a list of where I got everything is just lazy. Look for original stuff yourself. Please.

What this really boils down to is that a lot of new sex workers want those of us who have been doing this for a while to hold their hands down the path of selling sex. Well, most of us aren’t going to do that. And if someone does, it’s unlikely their advice will help you, and in fact, their advice is more likely to damage your future career. Figure it out on your own. For the sake of us, and for the sake of yourself, figure it out on your own.

Image courtesy of Shutterstock
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February 25, 2015
Sex Work: Behind The Porn

It’s time to dispel the number one myth I have received since becoming an independent sex worker: “That’s easy! All you do is get naked/masturbate on camera, and then the money comes pouring in!” I have two giant problems with this. The first one is that I am going to school to become a writer. Writing comes much easier to me than sex work does. But no one has ever claimed that that isn’t a real job. And the next is what I am going to focus this article on: the idea that what I do is easy work.

Now, if I compare what I do to my vanilla job, (I work at an arcade) then in the short run, sex work is easier than standing on my feet for eight hours. But at the same time, at that job, all I do is refill tickets and give people change for the most part. I deal with stupid questions in great quantity, as well, but I deal with that on an even greater scale as a sex worker. You wouldn’t believe some of the things people have asked me. My personal favorite? “How can you be a sex worker if you have a boyfriend?” They then went on to equate my job to cheating. The cringing was award-worthy. In the long run, sex work takes much more of my time and energy. Each thing I have produced, I have devoted much more time to than I do working an eight-hour shift at my vanilla job. So, here’s how it goes.

The first thing I must do is set up my surrounding area. This alone could take up to an hour. I am my own set designer, and if I finish, and it doesn’t look good, I tear it all down and start over. Sometimes my vision is more than I can take on. Sometimes that means a set or video I have planned won’t even get shot. If my surroundings don’t look good, I can’t shoot the set or video, knowing it wasn’t up to my standards.

Next, I am my own hair and make-up stylist. And I love long, gorgeous wigs. But long, gorgeous wigs are prone to major tangling and small objects getting caught in them. In one of my newest sets, I had to sit there and brush and pick out leaves from my wig for several hours. I had worn it out to the woods for another thing I shot, and leaves were stuck all over it. Make-up is also difficult, because the only one around to tell me if it looks good or not is my boyfriend, and while I trust his opinion, I also think he’s more prone to tell me it looks good than someone else might be. This process can sometimes take four or more hours. Especially when I’m doing full-on face paint with a long wig.

Now for the fun part! Shooting it! The part that people think is all I do, and then it magically gets up and sells itself! And shooting is tough. Really tough. Videos are easier for me. But they require acting, and if a shot isn’t angled in a pleasing way, I will have to delete it and start over. Sometimes I have to redo the entire video because none of the shots turned out how I wanted. And shooting a set is the farthest thing from easy. I self-shoot for the most part. Coming up with poses, angling the camera, figuring out how to work with my space, sitting there for three or more hours coming up with what I’m going to do, distorting my body until it hurts to get a decent photo, struggling with the camera, trying to get at least 200 photos so that when I chop them down I’ll have enough left over. None of that is easy. And it’s exhausting. And my body aches for several days afterwards because of the ways I was posing.

The next part also takes several hours: Editing! This is my least favorite part of sex work. It’s a struggle. It takes a ton of patience It takes a ton of looking at myself taking my clothes off over and over again, watching the same clips over and over, making sure it looks good, flows together, and that the time of each clip makes sense. I have to walk away from it a lot of the time because I get so frustrated.

Then, I post previews, and the marketing begins. And it doesn’t end. I still market stuff I shot two years ago. If I keep something, the job related to said thing never ends. I don’t just throw up a preview, call it a day, and wait for the money to flow into my bank account. If I don’t keep updating, doing sales, reminding people my content exists, no one will buy it. Sometimes I’ll release a video, talk about it for a while, and then come back to it months later and start posting about it again, and get a ton of sales from people who just learned about me and didn’t even know about its existence. More than anything, sex work is about marketing and running your own business – but most of the time, without a business degree. I don’t know the first thing about business aside from what running this “business” has taught me, and yet I do it, and I’m good at it, and I make sales almost daily.

And it doesn’t end there, either. You have to be ready to answer the same thirty questions a day. To be patient with customers who don’t know how to read the page you’ve set up to tell them exactly what they need to do in order to receive your content. To deal with people who think you’re nothing but a lazy whore, and will tell you that over and over again, multiple times a day. It doesn’t matter how many people I put on Ignore on Tumblr, enough people exist in this world who think I’m a lazy whore that they will keep reminding me about it. You have to deal with people who don’t accept that the people in your life could be okay with it. Who will judge you, stigmatize you, and even criminalize you.

You also have to be original to be in this industry. There’s so many people doing the exact same thing, you have got to figure out what sets you apart. For me, it was being a metalhead and a cosplayer. Lots of guys are into my alternative style, and find it sexy. Lots of people find the fact I cosplay a turn-on. I am able to use these aspects of myself to create original content. Figure out what sets you apart, and utilize the hell out of it. Which goes into another aspect of the work behind sex work: you are your own creative director. You don’t have a team of people coming up with your latest, most original video idea yet. You have to do that on your own.

If sex work was easy, there’d be a lot more sex workers selling a lot more content. But the fact of the matter is: a lot of sex workers will quit the industry really fast because they’re surprised the money isn’t pouring in. I’ve witnessed it time and time again. If you think you can just take a quick masturbation video, not edit it, post about it once, and then sit back with a wine glass while people line up to pay for that one video by the thousands, you’re going to be in for a rude awakening.

Sex work is real work. Sex work is tough work. Sex work takes time, patience, and dedication. Sex work takes passion. And I put every fiber of my being into being the best as I can be, and it has paid off. Every day, I am getting new customers. My income for this year has more than doubled since last year. No one can tell me that that is because of anything other than hard work.

Image courtesy of Shutterstock

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January 3, 2015