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Tag: Sex Work

  • Why I’m Proud To Be In Sex Work

    Why I’m Proud To Be In Sex Work

    I am totally acceptant of sex work and have no shame in regards of the topic, the only reason I wouldn’t be open about it with just about anyone I cross path with is because a lot of people don’t understand or do not accept it, and it is better to just keep quiet to avoid drama.

    But the main reason why I am open with it now is because I know why I do this. It is has brought more good than many other things in my life has. Of course financially speaking, it has allowed me to be fully independent, live on my own terms, have the freedom I have always seeked, live on my own, buy a car, travel, pay for aesthetics procedure, invest on myself, save money in a short time period, live a life I wouldn’t have been able to without it. Not to mention how unfair the minimum wage is.

    Second, the job itself, you meet a lot of different people that are willing to spend on you, to take you out, to buy you drinks and to make you feel special, to appreciate you and to respect because you respect yourself. I know people who would do this for free, or that would pay to do what I am paid for, so yes I feel lucky at times but luck has nothing to do with it, it is hard work and decisions that I took to be here today. And of course every sex worker is different and every encounter with different persons is also different. But mainly, most of the time it is fun and a learning experience, like any other job.

    Also they do not pay for a good that you sell, they pay for your company, and to spend time/intimate time with you, so unlike other jobs where you have to learn different products, all you have to do here is to be the best you can at this is to be basically be yourself and to take care of yourself and sometimes dress up, meet many different people, develop different connections.. Who wouldn’t want to be paid to do that? Sometimes I feel like I am paid to live, where others are to work.

    How I Felt About Sex Work When I Started Out

    I was hiding my face and really reluctant to talk about it or to share with anyone what I was doing, and a lot of SW feels the same way. I think like many other things, partially because of society views and judgments and people who feed their ego on bringing other people down. It is like we have two lives and two jobs and two social circles.

    1. The ones we are when we work and everyone in the industry who knows what we do, and

    2. Who we are when we are not working, our personal lives and those who do not know about it. But at certain point, the two worlds clashes, and this is what happened for me. You cannot be two different people and as I got older and more confident, I stopped caring about what other people think of me, and I stopped being around judgmental people and those who did not accept me fully for who I am.

    As I first started, it was really intimidating, And it is a lot to learn before getting fully into the business. A lot of businesses teach you to take as many clients as you can without considering your needs and that might be your first thought or approach when starting in the business, but it makes it hard work to provide a good service and totally un-enjoyable, as most agencies do not let you speak to the client before meeting him. I had to learn that to be able to be successful as an independent provider and make a living out of this alone, I had to focus on deeper connections, on the service I provide, the needs that I fulfil, the people that I meet instead of a dollar sign, and that’s how I was able to start to enjoy it and to work smarter, not harder.

    Here comes the importance of talking to the client and screening or reading him prior to booking just by his approach and initial introduction email or text messages. It takes a little bit of practice but you can tell who is as a person, and your first impression about him. It is important to refuse a client that you know will give you a bad experience. I now rather focus on quality people who I can be real and build a connection with that I know are gonna come see me again rather than a lot of clients that do not appreciate you, that is how I’ve been able to charge a higher rate and be successful with a limited number of bookings.

    Are Sex Workers Supportive Of One Another?

    Totally, SW are totally supportive of each other and that is where I met the most loyal, intelligent, and open people I know, that have taught me to be the person I am today, strong and confident despite all my weaknesses, and to be able to speak up and to express myself.

    And it is another reason why I will never ever bring down sex workers, any form of sex work or be ashamed of it. Also it is where I met people I grew strong bonds and real friendship with, exactly because you are allowed to be yourself and it is a judgment free world in this industry.

    Challenges Balancing My Private Life & Sex Work Life

    I am not saying sex work is always easy, it has been a long road but like anything else that is worth it in the long run, does not come easy. First, one of the most important things as a sex worker is to respect yourself. I know it sounds totally ironic that most people view sex work as degrading. But yes, I had to learn to respect myself and to know my boundaries. This is certainly the biggest challenge.

    You are gonna meet a lot of people that will try to take more than they give, people that will try to take advantage, people that are disrespectful, it is totally up to you to let them know what you are ok or not comfortable with, what your rules are. At the end of the day, what most men enjoy is to make a woman feel good in their company, and to provide for us, so again it is up to you to learn what you want and to let them know and communicate your feelings with them. I am far from perfect and far from knowing everything about myself but I am trying my best and I think that is all it takes, that and putting in a lot of time.

    The difference between love life and sex work is that you don’t always enjoy the company you are with. I myself love to create real and genuine connection with people and I am used to be paid for it so it is difficult for me to do this while maintaining a relationship. Some sex workers choose to have a partner while doing this, but I consider my clients as men I am dating and I’d rather not have both.  If I would meet someone that I would want to settle with, be willing to commit and putting in the work, I’d probably be just less emotionally invested in my work, but I’d see myself being able to manage with both. At the same time I do not want to give up my lifestyle. I would have to meet someone that is ok with what I do. And that person has to be very special if he is not paying me.  *laughs*

    Men are looking for beautiful women that are also smart and fun to have a conversation with. Yes in an ideal world, there would be that perfect partner for everybody, that meets all of our needs, but the truth is it is hard to find, and if you are a person with personal issues, like anger issues or obesity or too busy with work or whatever it is, your sexual and emotional needs cannot be fully met, and that is why we are here as sex workers.

    Also there are technical details you have to deal with, just like owning a business it is a lot of work and expenses, creating a website, photoshoots that can cost up to 1k (ranges from 500-1k for reputable photoraphers, not to mention the expenses for outfits) , constantly replying to emails and phone, paying for advertisement and staying up to date . A lot of SW have two apartments/condos, a work location and a place to live, two phones, two email addresses, etc… to protect their identity.

    To be continued…

    Featured image from Shutterstock

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  • Consent and Autonomy As A Sex Worker

    Consent and Autonomy As A Sex Worker

    I believe sex work is a valid form of physical and emotional labour, and is inherently feminist. People from every walk of life are drawn to sex work for all different reasons. Some do it out of the luxury of privilege, some because it’s the form of labour that best suits them at this point in their life and some strictly out of survival because it is all they can do. However, it is important to remember that under the current system, all work is survivalist work as we all must trade our time and labour for currency.

    Constant Challenges To Sex Workers

    Physical safety in regards to client interaction is obviously an issue as well as obtaining safe working conditions at spas, dungeons or escort agencies since we lack unions and the ability to organize for a safe and sanitary working environment. In countries where full criminalization is in place, it is impossible to seek help from law enforcement if you’re assaulted as you are subjected to arrest for your occupation.

    Is Consent Still An Issue?

    Absolutely and I’m afraid it will until people understand that consent is not a matter of gaining all access clearance from one word or action but an ongoing subject between two people that requires constant checking in. Just because you pay someone for sex does not give you the right to do whatever you want to a person. Consent can be revoked at any time, and as one of my favourite saying goes, “a hoe CAN say no.”

    How Sex Workers Set Their Boundaries & Rules

    There exists, a wide variety of ways to go about establishing boundaries with clients, no way is right or wrong, some just work better for that particular provider, or with different clients. Some assert them verbally with clients before the session; others choose to navigate them more fluidly during the session.

    Some providers prefer to take a very black and white approach and have their boundaries and restrictions in their advertisement or websites which is why laws such as SESTA/FOSTA which prohibit online soliciting, only serve to put sex workers in further danger by prohibiting us from freely expressing what services we do and do not offer.

    Misconceptions About Autonomy 

    We’re heavily stigmatized individuals who are often devalued in worth as partners, parents, friends, and in other professions, simply due to choosing to participate in the sex trade industry. It is a common misconception that we are uneducated, party heavily, have no money management skills and can’t have a spouse because of our work. This is just simply untrue.

    We’re juggling other jobs, navigating going to university, raising families, we’re everywhere, at your gym, in line behind you at grocery stores, next to you on public transit. We are normal people just like you trying to live happily and survive.

    What Can Be Done To Remove Such Misconceptions?

    While not an option for everyone, being out as a sex worker helps to normalize our work and allows people to see us for the multifaceted human beings that we are. It is one thing to regard sex work as a legitimate form of work, it is an entirely different thing to be able to see the whole person behind the sex worker and not objectify them.

    Recently, I facilitated a workshop on deconstructing whorephobia and understanding autonomy and consent in the personal lives of sex workers outside of their work. I believe it’s everyone’s job to educate themselves on how to properly interact with sex workers in everyday life and the burden of labour should never be on the marginalized community.

    Bree Daniels – Toronto based companion, Dominatrix and content creator. They are a profound lover of cats, nature, punk and metal, martial arts and do not have time for your shit.

    Follow Bree on

    Onlyfans: onlyfans.com/breebathory

    Article images from Bree Daniels, featured image from Shutterstock

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  • Why Every Business Man Should Engage A Luxury Companion (Part 2)

    Why Every Business Man Should Engage A Luxury Companion (Part 2)

    When I started my journey as Karina Valentina, I did a lot of research on how other ladies handle their business. I realized that having a professional website with all the necessary information is very important. I did put a lot of time and effort into it to make sure that gentleman has the answer to all his questions on there. I always make an emphasis on the importance of reading my website first to see if we are a good match. It takes only a few minutes to read the basics and then if it sparked your interest, then definitely it’s great to explore all the pages.

    At times, it does surprise me that regardless of my recommendation, men would still ask questions that are obviously mentioned on the website. Gentleman, please, please, if you contact any lady to make her acquaintance, make sure you read the information provided prior. It is such a simple thing, but makes every provider happy and obviously more willing to meet you. All ladies have different rates, minimal amount of hours, requirements in terms of screening, different styles, looks, and personalities. Once you do your research and find a companion you would like to meet – be a gentleman, respect her rules and restrictions for booking, pay the proper rate – and trust me, you will have the time of your life.

    Let me go through some basic etiquette that you probably know, but it never hurts to remind. Ladies have different preferred types of communication. For me the best is feeling in the contact form on the website, sending email /text containing all the information that is required in the contact form. It makes things so much easier for both parties. Also, hopefully there is no need say this, but “hi”, “hey” etc is definitely not a great way to start the conversation. It is a huge turn on to talk to a respectful and polite gentlemen! I am a woman who will make sure that you will be treated like in kind so please treat me like a lady back. Offensive language, explicit talks and lewd conduct is an absolute “no” when you are contacting and spending time with me as well as with any other companion.

    How To Ensure Our Time Together Is Wonderful

    I always thrive to provide the best experience possible. During initial communication, it is important for me to figure out what kind of gentleman I am meeting (to read between the lines of his email if I can say so). As there are many different personalities and different approaches may be needed. Moreover, regardless of the gentleman’s character, compatibility is paramount for me. Nothing can be better than meeting someone who is on the same wavelength and vibe with me as then, the pleasure of a rendezvous is multiplied by many times for both.

    When I started, I was really upset when a gentleman didn’t find me attractive physically or personality wise. Now, I don’t want to be everyone’s cup of tea, but rather, for selective ones to ensure the best experience possible.

    Besides that, as every lady, I desire to be treated with respect and proper manners. Little things like opening a door, helping with a coat, with a chair at the restaurant are indeed important to me and I always notice it all. It makes me smile and get happier by the minute.

    Being attentive is another important trait and behaviour that I value and cherish. I cannot describe how happy and grateful I am when a gentleman brings flowers, or any other type of gift that I mention on my website. Not even the fact of gift that matters, but the fact that he took his time to read it and get to know me before the actual meeting. I would say that a golden formula is to listen to each other, to speak to your souls, and to be able to experiment. I understand that it might be hard sometimes, as in many cases we are not fully aware of our sexuality, what can bring us the ultimate pleasure, what will make the moment unforgettable, but the more open we are, the better our rendezvous will be.

    Frankly speaking, I do need to follow my own advice way more often. As sometimes, I still find myself too shy to tell about things that I fantasize about. Mostly it’s because I think my date is shy too (I know it might sound weird, but my style of companionship is an actual girlfriend experience, which might sometimes include a little cute awkward moment). It’s always easily solved ones, that either of us steps up and shares some little secrets. As I mentioned before, the connection does play a vital role for me and I am sure for most gentlemen as well.

    So once I meet an open soul, once we share some things with each other (obviously doesn’t have to be anything that me or the gentleman don’t want to talk about, as privacy and mutual respect are at the most importance), like magic – our minds, bodies, and souls are fully combined and we can thoroughly indulge in each other. I can go on and on about it, but I hope my main idea was heard. We live once, and life is too short to live it boring, scared or closed-minded!

    Karina Valentina – I am  a young woman  who can be described as an “adventure seeker, soul healer, crazy laugher”. Also simply a lady who (it’s a Russian saying, might translate weird in English) will be a queen when meeting his friends, the most hospitable hostess around the house, and the dirtiest pornstar in bed:)

    My friends also call me a Happy Butterfly by the way;)

    Follow Karina on

    Website: https://www.karinavalentina.com/about-karina

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/Karina_Vlt

    Images from Karina Valentina

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  • Why Every Business Man Should Engage A Luxury Companion

    Why Every Business Man Should Engage A Luxury Companion

    To begin with, I would like to mention that I am coming from a really prejudice and judgmental background. I was born in Russia and raised in Ukraine. Not sure how aware you are of the culture there. In a nutshell: companions (they don’t use any of the alternative words, just “prostitute”or ‘whore”) are referred to as “girls with low social responsibility”, and escorting is called “ugly social phenomenon”.

    I personally never saw sex work this way, but didn’t consider it as my line of work to begin with. Not that while ago, my life circumstances necessitated me to go on the “dark side” and I am so glad they did. Probably, so far it’s the best decision I have made. It started with a need and now it’s a huge part of my life and me as a person and I am not planning to give up on all this great experiences any time soon.

    At the moment I can’t even describe how blessed and thankful I am to be in the community, to have so many supportive ladies, clients, the people who sincerely want all the SW to succeed, with whom I can be my true self, live, love and laugh.

    The stigma and disrespect towards professional companions like myself here is clearly just a prejudice that society has based just on general knowledge. Only ignorant people can see companionship as inferior act. Is it bad when two (or more) people have a great time, can relax and unwind, experience new sensations, explore their bodies, range of emotions learn from each other, travel together, explore new places and adventures without any complication?

    All romantic relationships between men and women involve an exchange of value to improve the lives of both participants. There is no fundamental difference between a relationship with a professional companion like myself and a “normal” one, other than you already know prior to entering the engagement, how long I am your girlfriend for and “break-ups” or “separation”are not heart-breaking.

    Why I’m An Ideal Companion Date

    I would describe myself as a sweet, warm, passionate, sophisticated young lady, who enjoys adventures and loves to try new things. Also, my European blood adds a little spice, so I can be intense, stormy and in a good way a little crazy. As they say, “still waters run deep“. With that being said, it is never a dull moment with me. On Twitter, there are a few videos, where you can here my laughter. I personally think it’s not pretty at all, but everyone finds it super sincere, hilarious and uplifting. (In case you are having a bad day, I suggest you watch it or better hear it in person…)

    One of the greatest finesse this industry has taught me is how to deal with different types of people, handle various situations, adjust to any scenario, make people feel comfortable around me, see what one likes just by a brief chat.

    Despite my young age, I am a well-educated lady. I already hold a Bachelor’s degree in International Business.  Soon looking to start a Masters Program. In addition to my school education, I consider myself to be a street-smart woman. I frequently read books about self-growth, self-development and spirituality. For me, it’s easy to support any conversation. I love a genuine laughter, discussions, doing activities together. It entails that my favourite rendezvous are definitely multiple hour ones, or multi-day. I see this as such, a wonderful opportunity to spend time, to get to know each other, to build long-lasting connections. Needless to say, that sex is a million times better when we become comfortable with each other.

    I only share my time with men of grace and distinction, I don’t pretend to like them – I really do care for every one of them as individuals and I treat them like they deserve to be treated. One of my friends who was trapped in an abusive marriage claims that I literally saved his life by spending my time with him at his most vulnerable moment, so this makes me kind of a man’s emotional first responder – I even have the nurse uniform if we need it.

    Reasons Men Engage Companions

    I do meet a lot of gentleman who come to the city for business – conferences, meetings, projects, trainings, location scouting etc. From what I observed and been told, there are quite a few reasons why they are seeking companionship during such trips.

    Constant flying, tight schedules, not enough sleep are only a few difficulties out of many that those men face while traveling. Hiring a luxury companion is a great way to de-stress, unwind, relax, and get your thoughts together for the next day or before an important meeting. Plus, traveling along can get boring. A courtesan can be everything you seek in one – a friend, conversationalist, arm candy, city guide, and bedroom nymph. She will keep you entertained, energized, and distracted from the pressure.

    Also, a big part of it is definitely the opportunity to fulfil your fantasies. What’s most important is that having a rendezvous with a companion doesn’t require any commitment afterwards. You can have the time of your life, and after, return to your regular routine without any worry or obligations.

    A lot of business trips also require outings, dinners and events. As a successful businessman, you’ll want to be seen with a beautiful, well dressed and well groomed, smart and classy lady. It is important to keep up appearances at social events.

    I do have to mention, that many times gentlemen book me to spend time with their business partners, investors etc. As a sign of appreciation. Such gifts never fails (at least from my experience), but helps to close deals and maintain good business relationships.

    To sum everything up, there are various reasons why gentlemen engage in such type of encounters. With mutual respect, discretion, open-mindedness and always positive attitude such relationships are a win -win situation.

    To Be Continued…

    Karina Valentina – I am  a young woman  who can be described as an “adventure seeker, soul healer, crazy laugher”. Also simply a lady who (it’s a Russian saying, might translate weird in English) will be a queen when meeting his friends, the most hospitable hostess around the house, and the dirtiest pornstar in bed:)

    My friends also call me a Happy Butterfly by the way;)

    Follow Karina on

    Website: https://www.karinavalentina.com/about-karina

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/Karina_Vlt

    Images from Karina Valentina

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  • Escort Services: Useful or Harmful?

    Escort Services: Useful or Harmful?

    Present-day life can provide a person with anything he/she may want. Are you hungry at midnight? A 24/7 catering company will deliver food. Do you need to make reservations on a vacation? In a couple of clicks, everything is booked. Do you need a companion for an event? No problem, you can find a date for a party thanks to special escort services.

    The latter seems to be a great solution to busy people who sometimes need someone to go out with. Indeed, this is quite easy: you open the website of rougeboulevard — UK escorts, choose a girl you like, get in touch, and that’s it. However, is everything so easy? Let’s take a deeper look at the matter.

    Any Possible Flaws?

    Every person who has decided to use the services of the escort has no appropriate candidate among acquaintances to accompany for an event or simply to spend some good time together. Hence, this person has got certain expectations. Though, there can be still some disadvantages to this choice:

    • The decision is made mostly based on the outer looks. Thus, it is impossible to predict the behavior, voice, and habits of a girl who will attend an event with you. It means that for an important official venue, especially the one related to work, it is better to choose a companion who you already know.
    • This solution cannot substitute real relationships if a person has got such intentions. It is essential to remember that a woman with you is working, thus, there is no room for feelings.

    Undeniable Benefits of the Service

    Even though the solution to invite an escort is not perfect, everything initially depends on intentions. Thus, a person should at first decide which relationships he is interested in. If you are willing to build a family, no need to use the service. However, if a companion is needed for a venue, that is a great possibility to spend time with an attractive hot girl that will join you. Among the other advantages, it is possible to mention:

    1. Convenient and quick alternative: it is feasible to find a woman, request if she is available, set the date and time, and that’s it.
    2. Pleasant and captivating conversations: these women do know how to behave and interact. One will undoubtedly like the time spent with such a woman.
    3. Sexy and hot model with you: it is not so easy to meet such an attractive woman somewhere in a cafe. With such services, one may opt for a woman who he likes most of all and enjoy the most pleasant experience with her.

    In general, escort services are intended to help a person quickly find a companion. The disadvantages of this solution are linked to possible confusion in intentions. Thus, if a person is sure what he wants, that is a great opportunity to spend an unforgettable time with an attractive woman.

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  • Common Misconceptions About Sex Work

    Common Misconceptions About Sex Work

    I truly have an undying respect, as well as a great deal of admiration for all types of sex workers. There are those of us who are privileged enough to be able to share what we do with our loved ones, but for many, our job, and lifestyle is our greatest secret. There is always the threat of being doxed or outed, which comes with having the possibility of our worlds turned totally upside down. This can come with a loss in employment from our “civilian jobs”, as well as a potential loss in relationships with our loved ones.

    For some of us who are out, we deal with pressure from our friends and family to find a “real job”. We’re told by society that our jobs and lifestyles are not valid, and we have to fight for people to understand the validity and importance of what we do, as well as fight the stigma that says that we all must be victims of circumstance, but the truth is more often in several shades of grey, and rarely so black and white.

    The truth, at least from my point of view, is that we live in a world and time where the simple pleasures of life are so few and far between, that those who can offer a gentle touch, a kind word, or a sensual romp should be admired as care-givers all the same, and not as criminals or social pariahs.

    My Perception Of The Sex Work Industry Prior To Joining

    I’m not proud to admit this, but before I joined the industry, I had some fairly negative views, and used some unkind language when I spoke of sex workers. I was young, and my opinions never came from a place of malice, but from a place of complete, and utter ignorance. Everything that I thought I knew about sex work, and sex workers was from what I saw on television, and in movies.

    These movies never included disabled workers, authors, those in highly regarded positions in government, trans workers, and/or students who managed to put themselves through school with little to no debt. I assumed that all escorts had pimps, and were all victims of broken families. No escort WANTS to escort, no stripper WANTS to strip. They do it because they have to – is what I believed. I didn’t realize that there are those who are prideful, and rightfully so, and choose these professions above other, “more respected” endeavors, because they find fulfillment in it. I didn’t realize that for some, this industry was a means to an end, and towards something different, but for others, it’s the long-term career they chose!

    This industry is not one-size-fits-all. Many of us are running our dealings either how we have to, how we see fit, and how it works for us and our separate business models. For better or for worse, we are all uniquely ourselves, and it is so important that society sees us as distinct individuals, instead of victims, and only that.

    How My Perception Has Changed Since

    I commonly hear from those who I tell about my job, a few common misconceptions. The most common that I hear is that all clients visiting full-service workers are married. In my experience, it’s true that a lot of my clients are married men, though an even larger portion are of a completely different variety. It’s not uncommon to see those who are newly single, and unable to emotionally commit to a new partner, and aren’t looking for a one-night-stand.

    I have seen those who are looking to practice emotional, and physical intimacy – and those visitors are not always looking to have any sex at all. I have had the opportunity to visit those who have physical disabilities that can make dating, and intimacy more difficult. Lastly, I have met men who are new to all forms of sex and romanticism, are ready to lose their virginity, and haven’t met anyone to lose it to. For myself, what I like to think we can offer all of our suitors is an uncomplicated, drama-free, intimate experience, that lets them know that their needs are well taken care of.

    What Should Aspiring Sex Workers Be Prepared For?

    If I were to share what knowledge I have of the industry, I would say that there are ways to mitigate risk, and that safety is so important. I’ll note my privilege here, but will say that screening has been the best way that I’ve managed to stay safe. You’ll find many forums that host different types of screening. Find what works for you.

    There is also safety, and importance in community, and keeping a select few of your peers close, as friends, will help you stay safe, and sane. My friends and family know about what I do, but they aren’t able to understand the less glamorous parts of the industry, and to have those who can empathize is imperative.

    Saving your money is key. This industry ebbs and flows in how busy it is. Saving your money, and knowing that you’ll make it through the lulls will stop you from taking risks to see clients who might not have your best interests in mind.

    Taking time to disconnect from your work is important, whether that be putting away your work phone, or turning off your work Twitter. I think any small business owner will tell you the same thing. Our business becomes an extension of ourselves, and disconnecting will allow you to keep the distinction in your mind, that you are NOT your work – not all the time.

    My name is Brea Fawn – a late-twenties, Edmonton based full-service escort. I have been working independently as a companion for less than a year, but also spent time as a cam girl for a brief period of time. I am passionate about this industry, and it’s many offshoots. Working as a sex worker has given me a great deal of intimate fulfillment, and gratification as I have seen my small, personal business grow and evolve over time.

    Follow Brea on

    Website: www.breafawn.com

    Twitter: @breafawn

    Images from Brea Fawn

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  • My Experiences From Sex Work

    My Experiences From Sex Work

    Sex is one of the fundamental elements to the human experience; it is, without question, one of the most intimate and vital aspects of life. The idea of “sex work” is not new, it has been called “the world’s oldest profession” and not without cause. Sex has been utilised as a service and commodity since biblical times.

    Sexuality and the promise of sex has been used by advertisers to pitch sales for everything from vacuum cleaners to cheeseburgers and the trade of actual sex acts for compensation is really no more a moral misstep than featuring a pretty model in a bikini laying across a shiny Corvette at a car show to interest buyers.

    At the end of every argument, for or against sex work, remains the fact that it is a provided service and product for use and consumption just like any other in the free market. And it beats the hell out of a desk job!

    I got started in sex work by answering an ad for “adult models.” I was already working in a gentlemen’s club, so the idea of expanding the arena of adult work was natural. I started nude modeling and soon began working as a Companion/Escort. I am now working in adult film.

    The Experiences I’ve Enjoyed In Sex Work

    What I find amazing about sex work is that there is always a unique aspect to each interaction. A laugh, a smile, a touch…never quite the same despite the fact that the physical acts tend to become “commonplace.” That is not meant to imply that the acts themselves are mechanical or unenjoyable, but only that there is only so much one can feature on a menu!

    I have had a couple of experiences that were special, in a way, each unique to the client. I am a people-pleaser by nature and when I know I have been able to provide something enjoyable to a client I’m pleased, as well. One specific encounter was with an elderly gentleman who was a widower. For him, he enjoyed the company and conversation as much as the physical acts.

    Sex work can often include an emotional need for a client as much as a physical desire. And it is immensely satisfying to make another person feel good!

    Worst Things That Can Happen To A Sex Worker

    One of the worst things that can happen to a sex worker, indeed anyone, really, is assualt. It is a real danger in the realm of the adult industry. Workers do not always have additional security present and independent workers, even when stringently screening potential clients, are at risk because one never truly knows who might be on the other side of the door.

    That is obviously a worst-case-scenario aspect of the work, but another downside is regular clients can often blur the line between professional provider and personal life. This is problematic on various levels. And as in any other job there is the occasional ” rude customer,” the ill-tempered malcontent who either complains, haggles or is just simply mean-spirited.

    The upside to being a sex worker over a typical “employee”, however, is that sex workers can give someone the boot or just Black List them. The girl working a shift at the local coffee house or the customer service desk at a department store does not have that option.

    Strange Requests I’ve Gotten

    Most filming scenarios and client requests have been fairly standard (if there is such a thing in this industry), but I’ve had a few “off color” requests in the past. Foot fetish requests are nothing new, but one gentleman requested the exact shade of polish he wanted my toenails to be painted as well as the color of heels he wanted me to wear.

    Another request was a general Dom/Sub scenario but the client wanted to berate me with names, etc. and have me repeat back to him what he said. It seemed awkward at first, but he enjoyed it. The worst request I ever received actually occurred in my private dating life and was, without doubt, the most uncomfortable and creepy request I’ve ever had. I will not go into grisly detail but divulge that the request involved a “stranger rape” type of scenario (he described a fully developed and detailed fantasy for me); needless to say, I drew my line firmly in the sand and the idea of dating this individual was immediately dismissed, as was he.

    I am all for individuals playing out fantasies, exorcising a dark demon or two, but this situation raised flags for me and I couldn’t help but suspect that the line between role-play and reality was nearly invisible for this person.

    Ava Stark – “Sweet submissive” My secret philosophy…a connoisseur of Scotch, Sass and all things Sensually Sinful!

    Follow Ava on

    Instagram: instagram.com/msavastark

    Twitter: twitter.com/msavastark

    Website coming soon. Also, I just completed filming new scenes. Look for them from eXXXplosive Video!

    Images courtesy of Ava Stark; featured image by Ikon Republik from Pexels

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  • Balancing My Personal Life As A Sex Worker

    Balancing My Personal Life As A Sex Worker

    I think of sex work as a business that builds connections between provider and client. Yes, it can be a good way to make money, but some of the connections can last for a long time. Even the short connections can be beneficial in some way. Everyone needs connections whether physically or mentally, shorter, or on a more regular basis…

    Starting Out Into Sex Work

    I worked as a waitress in a strip club for a short time and decided to dance at amateur night. I enjoyed it and toured quite a bit. I got invited to also work at a massage parlor. I did these two jobs for a few years. The massage parlor eventually changed to an outcall escort service. I stayed and loved it.

    Many of my first clients were from strip clubs or through the service. A client led me to some online forums so I stopped dancing and eventually went out on my own as an independent girlfriend experience. Now I have a regular career but I have still done companionship on the side. It’s a great social outlet for me…like dating with boundaries.

    Does Sex Work Affect Non-Sex Work Relationships?

    It definitely can. Not everyone agrees with it. Most people I meet would never think that it is something I do. For the most part I have kept a great set of friends who couldn’t care less. I am open with everyone about it. Some family members have judgements but they just don’t talk about it and that’s fine. I prefer not to date while doing sex work. I feel that it makes it harder to make connections with my clients. Some guys even have issues and judge you if they know you had done it in the past.

    Separating My Personal & Sex Work Life

    I keep most aspects of sex work separate from my personal life. I book things in advance and have specific days that I market and advertise myself, or do my website and emails, etc. I, of course, have separate email addresses and phone numbers. When I tour I always leave time for me to do other things. I like to see the city and area where I am visiting. Since I have a regular career, I cannot be available for sex work all of the time. My persona is all me though. I keep my same personality and share that with my clients.

    Typical Myths About Sex Work

    I think because of social stigma, people think of sex workers as manipulators who always want or need something from someone. They aren’t all drug addicts or party girls or liars. Many have very typical home lives and take care of families. Many have regular careers or go to school. And many like being in sex work. It’s not some chore they use to only get paid. Most don’t need to be saved.

    What To Know Before Going Into Sex Work

    Treat sex work as a business even if you like it. You can do that and still be nice and personable with clients. Honesty and consistency are important to be good in sex work but you want to keep your personal life separate to avoid sloppiness. Once lines get blurred, it can become messy and stressful.

    Cocos Butter – I am the Midwest Minx. Provocateur, network engineer, foodie,   traveler, tour guide, and all around girlfriend experience who loves to explore. I have a mixture of complicated interests with simple tastes. My regular career takes me around the world and I love to share my experiences! Your imagination is my only limitation!

    Follow Cocos on

    Website: TheRealButter.Net

    Twitter: @CocosButter

    Images courtesy of Cocos Butter

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  • What To Do When Seeing A Courtesan For The First Time

    What To Do When Seeing A Courtesan For The First Time

    At any rate, allow yourself to expand your definition of sex. Relative to my peers, I stumbled late into the party and much preferred to hang out by first-floor windows for less-than-erotic escapes. My early university years proudly presented sex in all its glory. It wasn’t until after I popped my cherry out of much pent-up sexual frustration and making the call on a pricey Brazilian (wax) that I began to draw on what it meant to me to feel desired.

    In allowing myself to first get deeply personal, I found what turned me on increasingly more enjoyable. Teasing neck bites in-between the pillows could cast the same frenzy as holding a hushed conversation inches from a stranger’s ear at the bar, well-wrapped up around their thumb. It won’t be the last time you hear it, but for all my firsts out there, know this: a climax cannot be appreciated without breaking a sweat, working out the kinks of foreplay.

    How Are First Timer Clients Like?

    My first timers are some of the sweetest nuggets out there. They constitute a little less than 15% of my reach who also book. They’re drawn to the playful humour and sly wit they see online and I think show up with just the faintest hope I’ll use it to help quell their nerves in person. They also send the best memes. Hands down.

    I’d be naïve to think I could speak for all companions or sex providers (SPs). I find, however, that my first timers either ask all the questions or none. Experienced patrons can be no different but also include ‘not enough’ despite knowing better, you’d think. Our latter group here is not necessarily immune to mounting nervous energy either. It is, after all, a real date.

    As with any real date, respectful, non-pushy use of language before and/or during this encounter involve understanding that requesting ‘menus’ right off the bat is off-putting to some SPs, including myself. With first timers and experienced patrons alike, I actively work to normalize effectively communicating boundaries to build an initial sense of trust in these sessions. Listening here is the power move. Both groups typically understand consent once raised—at least, in my experience. I cannot emphasize enough that consent is best expressed verbally by all parties involved to not shoot the mood for the evening. For our readers asking, ‘what if…’, I garner that you’re both adults—an email exchanging written confirmation of consensual acts beforehand is a green-light technicality.

    When the door opens, there are a few from both groups that don’t seem to know what to do with themselves and I’m reminded of myself. I find it charming. I’d say I’m quicker now to Shepard’s crook them by the belt holes before they bolt—assuming I’m hosting, of course. Given the sound of room service trolleys fast approaching anywhere, I’ve never been all that slow or shy to lift a few jaws on the walk in. This is only a subtle reminder to have your Do-Not-Disturb signs ready in hand, gents.

    Preparing For Your SP Before She Arrives

    Prep has got to be half the fun. It’s highly likely the SP’s given you a little reading material for the nights you’ve been sitting up in bed, still awake in anticipation.

    Work knocks you out good? Yeah, you can catch their Tweets on your commute to work or in an unassuming corner of the office during your lunch break. The most logical order IMO is starting with the website. Read it proper. If you’re not sold, or just want more than you’d like to admit, hit up the Media section on their Twitter—especially if you’re more of a ‘visuals person’. Then take a moment to check their Likes section to see if they’re still sane enough for you.

    Confirmations—along with a complete form submission—can be very important for many SPs. This may include a deposit, which you’ll have made note of if you’ve read her website (proper). Confirm at least the day before. I would advise against looking to confirm more than twice for any date as unnecessary persistence begins to raise yellow flags.

    If you’re working with a longer date, be considerate and well-prepared to offer them a bite (check for allergies, nutter butt) and glass of water at least. Drink some yourself. While you’re at it, moisturize your lips and tend to all grooming and hygiene needs. A little rinsey rinsey under the sink faucets would be most unwise. Even I’d pray for you. If the SP appears rather vocal online, do yourself a favor and don’t let yourself be sub-tweeted at. Tend twice to any areas you’d like to be appreciated.

    Be mindful to have the compensation ready for them in an envelope or whatever means they’d prefer. Location-wise, it should be in plain sight. You can’t mess this instruction up—it’s my easiest one. Tidy up the place if need be and upon offering to take their coat past the door, kindly also direct their gaze to said patronage along with some direction to the nearest bathroom. I’ll add that this is part of the foreplay I stressed earlier. Though I don’t know you, reader, I do want you to have an amazing time nonetheless. Do as their websites instruct you. Waiting to present their compensation till the end leaves many slightly more reserved in session. The wrap-up at the end is actually a window better suited to tips. On tips, I would say if you have the means to be generous and truly enjoyed your time, prepare this while they’re showering. Even if you’re not tipping, do the decency of giving them the privacy to get ready in there alone. Trust me on this one too. I gargle often and spit facts.

    Though not necessary, try to have a bottle of mouthwash, fresh bath towels and a neutral or relatively less ‘masculine’ smelling body wash available for their use at the end of the date. Your SP will appreciate it and not use your liquid hand soap by the sink. Should you fail to do so, don’t comment on how ingenious [she/they] smells.

    Once The Meet Up Begins…

    You’ve prepared yourself well! Assuming you read most of my last bit. The excitement’s got to be near through the roof at this point, I’ll bet.

    I hope you both have a lovely little or long time together. Don’t know what that entails? Did you plan a theater outing together? Holding hands doing nothing? A couples mani pedi before your kink dungeon date? Snakes and Ladders, maybe? An indoor board game atop a new and *very* doable cuddling position? Or was it erotic wrestling? A home-cooked meal for two? Or season two of some genius Netflix realm while you practise your rope basics? Well, why don’t you ask them…?

    Ways To Ease Nerves For A First Timer

    As if I haven’t been already, this will be a space to be blunt. To engage earnestly with your SP and in more of a wholesome manner at that, do not excessively drink and/or abuse substances to ‘escape’ your nerves prior to your meeting, gentlemen. Even your boss could tell you that. If you’re your own boss, I just did, so have your delusions call my people, if you so must.

    Second, read as much as want about your provider until you think you’re ready. This will still not mean you’re actually ready for whatever you’re expecting. Dates may flow every which way and controlling the stream too firm with expectation is a harder take than necessary; you could guarantee a flop. Be present and trust your SP. True intimacy is rooted in that initial trust.

    Third, I’d like to separate this little bit of advice about trusting yourself. You have no one to be but yourself on this date. Feel no need to overcompensate or tear yourself down. Unless, of course, that’s your kink, then you will need to express this to your SP before the date to not make things awkward. Communicate what space you want or need with your SP verbally. This could mean starting the date seated across/next to each other and draw yourself closer as you feel more comfortable with each smile. Meet anxiety with some eye contact and a little willingness to laugh in the face of it.

    First Timer Etiquette Tips 

    My advice for etiquette lies on and in-between the lines I’ve provided above. Everything said pertaining to hygiene, surrounding misc. preparations, and pre-date exchanges are very important. Be on time but don’t be one to watch the clock, that goes for SPs and patrons alike. Leaving on time is major, too. Overstaying your welcome or holding an SP from having to leave is a faux pas, meaning don’t you dare do it. I would also emphasize making sure to brush up on safe sex practices and communicating with your SP that you understand them.

    Once the date has started, try to keep your reservations at bay and tune into your newest muse. Feel no pressure for anyone to claim to have climaxed two minutes of walking through that door. Most likely, this will be a mutual feeling for your SP. The real takeaway will be in how well the both of you listen to each other during foreplay. Come as your best self. Be ready to be open and/or equally ready to listen. Have fun!

    Léa Rose – Seemingly yet another self-proclaimed high-end companion to the Rose kin, this pun-lovin’, long-limbed lynx reckons you’ll be inquiring more about her writing outlets and phon-atic musings at some point or another. Often tuned into a different frequency having secured her travel bag with a bit of head start than most, she’s a millennial milking every bit of having to stay stagnant living and working in the ever-growing metropolis that is Toronto, ON.

    Follow Léa on

    Website: hellolearose.nl

    Twitter: twitter.com/HelloLeaRose

    Curious Cat: curiouscat.me/HelloLeaRose

    Having successfully just wrapped up her 2020 tours of San Francisco, Los Angeles, and Houston, you can catch Léa shimmying somewhere in Boston, New York City, Las Vegas, Vancouver, Montreal, Ottawa, Edmonton, and Calgary next.

    Images courtesy of Léa Rose

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  • What One Should Know Before Meeting An Escort

    What One Should Know Before Meeting An Escort

    To be honest, when I was just a civie, I never thought I would enter sex work. I never demonized it. I always knew woman were using sex work as a catapult to move up the socioeconomic ladder in society, so I was all for it, but as a career choice I never saw myself becoming a companion. Consequently, myself like most others, associated a stigma with SP’s, Sex work and the industry as whole. There are always questions about sanitation safety, location, how reliable is the money and confidentiality.

    For starters, to burst that bubble of sex workers are “dirty” because we sleep with X amount of men is so untrue. I would say 90% of the sex workers I know including myself  are “safe play only” providers. Which means everything is covered, and there is no bodily fluid contact or exchange. So, on top of offering safe services, we also get tested frequently, evidently because of the career choice we are in. There’s an awesome book to understand the psyche of a sex worker or just to understand the business as a whole called “Thriving In Sex Work, Heartfelt Advice For Staying Sane In The Sex Industry” by Lola Devine. I’m in the process of reading the last two chapters and it’s a good book for both civies and sex workers to get a general grasp of the business.

    Looking back to when I first started, I was very ignorant towards the fact that yes, sex work is a multifaceted rewarding job and SP’s wear many hats between being our own boss. We are also our own marketing team, accountant, web designer, blogger and receptionist/secretary, just to name a few. I personally feel SP’s are true hustlers to the very core and essence. We embody the true saying of “getting to the bag“. I love sex work. It has granted me many opportunities and also the freedom to do what I want, when I want, and has helped me grow individually as a person and as a business women too. Sex work is work and to thrive in this business, you must treat it as such.

    How Do You Screen Clients?

    I love this question. Let me start by saying, the first forms of screening are initiated within first contact. What a lot of potential clients don’t realize is how you present yourself, whether it be through your first text or email to me, I’m analyzing it and can pretty much tell whether or not I want to engage further or even finish reading your text or email. As SP’s we get so, so many texts and emails a day that it becomes very apparent who is a time waster and who genuinely would like to book a rendezvous.

    When you first make that initial contact with a SP, start with a short introduction “Hi my name is ________ , I am _________ . I saw your add on ________ , I would like to book you for ______ hours on __________.” That is good and all that is needed with first contact. After I have received a bit of info on you, it is my pleasure to respond and send you my booking form via email which includes light screening (i.e. two references, photo ID with pertinent info blacked out, work info and an email back from your work email or LinkedIn and a deposit). If a potential client can’t provide all the info, there are ways to work around it as not all methods are required to confirm booking.

    One thing though I would really like clients to understand is we as SP’s don’t know nothing about you. Them on the other hand, if they have done their due diligence, have taken the time to read our websites, visited our social media handles and reviewed our adds, which gives you a better understanding and idea of who we are and what type of provider we are.

    It’s only fair to give us that common courtesy in return. First impressions are everything, make sure to introduce yourself during initial contact.

    Do’s & Don’ts For Clients To Follow

    Yes there are some “ Do’s and Don’ts “

    1. Do be polite. I know I speak for myself and many other SP’s. Don’t just text Avail? at three in the morning. Read our website to know what times we are available at so you can get a faster response. And even if we are available, it doesn’t mean we are ready right now for you to pop up at our incall.
    2. Don’t bombard our phones with multiple back to back texts or emails. If we haven’t responded, chances are we are catching up on texts or emails and will respond to you as soon as possible or you haven’t really peaked our interest to return an email or text back because you haven’t taken the time to introduce yourself.
    3. Do try to send screening info and references promptly. If you are aware that we are the type of provider to screen, provide the info and if you’re mid-comfortable with a providers’ screening method, they are not the provider for you.
    4. Do not haggle or negotiate rates. My rates are firm and are set to that amount for very specific reasons. Trying to lowball me will get you blacklisted.
    5. Do be yourself. There are a lot of nerves involved in the whole process between booking and when our eyes first. Take a deep breath and be present in the moment. This is your time you booked with me. I live for genuine moments so let’s create them.

    What Happens At The Meet Up

    When we first meet, my donation should be the first thing taken care of always. Business before pleasure. I prefer it to be given to me in my hand where then, while you get yourself comfortable, I can excuse myself to count it then return to start our rendezvous. I do offer GFE so depending on what the client prefers, we can curl up on the couch, and start off with a movie.

    I can chef it up in the kitchen or we could take it to the bedroom where I could give you a sensual massage. It’s really up to the client and what he needs/wants. As long as the clients ask me to do something that’s offered in my services, I will be more than happy to fulfil their request. Be vocal with me so I can know what you, that way you leave as a happy client.

    Ways To Ease Any Nerves

    First off, I always greet my clients with a smile. I feel that’s so important to let you know everything is fine. Absolutely you will be well taken care of. I am a very bubbly person and love to have conversations, so expect me to strike up a conversation. I hate when interactions become mechanical. We are two human beings not robots.

    I know for some clients, the whole process can be nerve racking. I usually start by asking them how their day was, and offer them a drink. I love when my clients are able to slip away into total bliss, let go and feel welcome and wanted. Even if it’s just for a short time, I feel like we create our own little Utopia together.

    Client Etiquette To Follow

    Yes, there is etiquette I would like potential clients to know. I pride myself on cleanliness and I expect my clients to reciprocate that. Please wash up when you come. If you have had a long day at work or even if you showered 2-3 hours before coming, please freshen up. There are toiletries and towels available for use. Secondly, please be mindful of the amount of time you booked. It gets very uncomfortable when I have to remind clients it’s time to get ready to leave. About ten minutes before our session is supposed to end is a good amount time to start freshening up.

    How A Client Can Become My Favorite

    A client can become my favourite with one being polite (as you can see, respect goes a long way with me) to filling out my booking form fully and correctly and sending a deposit. We SP’s love deposits because it reassures us you are committed to showing up for your booking. A lot of time and preparation goes into a booking on our end. So, even if a client has to cancel last minute because of an emergency or simply re-schedule, the deposit compensates me for a portion of my time, money and effort spent on the preparation to host and look fabulous for our time together. Also, doing/giving tokens of appreciation go a long way. I happen to be human and a woman too hahaha.

    Surprising me with items from my wish lists is very much appreciated or simply asking what I like before hand so you can bring a gift to our appointment works too. In regards to safety and screening, potential clients need to keep in mind we do not know what you look like or know who you are. Chances are though, you as the potential client have done your due diligence in selecting a companion. You have checked all our social media handles. Have even check out our blog and current adds. Extend the same courtesy to us by giving us basic info on who you are, when you would like to book for and for how long.

    Also, tipping a little extra is highly recommended if you enjoyed our services. I’m not sure why tipping sex workers is not a more common thing. As far as longer dates go which I actually prefer, making reservations for us in a nice upscale restaurant for dinner, drinks and dessert is always a win in my books. At the end of the day, if you want to be my favourite you must go the extra mile to prove so. I’m a classy woman and old fashioned, I like to be wined and dined.

    Stormy Webbs – Greetings, my name is Stormy Webbs. I am a VIP companion, webcam model and content creator based out of Toronto, Canada. I ooze radiance and confidence when I enter the room and smile. I am a connoisseur of the finer things in life and love to experience new things, whether it be a new restaurant, exhibit attraction, or simply a new movie. I get a thrill out of first experiences. Follow me on Twitter and Snapchat to see more or visit my website to book a session with me!

    Follow Stormy on

    Twitter: @stormywebbs

    Instagram: @stormywebbs

    Public Snapchat: @stormy_webbsx2

    OnlyFans: www.onlyfans.com/stormywebbs

    Premium Snapchat: fancento.com/stormywebbs

    Website: www.stormywebbs.com

    Images courtesy of Stormy Webbs

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