SimplySxy

Tag: Sex Work

  • Etiquette Tips When Engaging An Escort

    Etiquette Tips When Engaging An Escort

    Sex is one of the most natural and potentially pleasurable things on earth! Not everyone has the time, social fluency, or luck to successfully seek out the kind of sex they desire. I see nothing wrong with consenting adults paying one another to engage in sex and intimacy, be it a run-of-the-mill roll in the hay or a unique and specific kinky fantasy. Of course sex trafficking is a problem, but the more we move towards decriminalization and allow consenting adults to make these decisions for themselves, the more time and attention we can put towards helping those in the industry due to coercion or financial constraints to find support and alternative income sources.

    I realized a number of years ago that a combination of attractive features, charm, intellect, conversational skills and a genuine enjoyment of sex and sexuality made sex work a natural choice for me. I’m very glad I looked past the stigma and explored a path less traveled.

    The Client Screening Process

    Screening begins with how one writes and introduces themself. I see clients of all backgrounds and certainly don’t judge the grammatical errors of non-native English speakers, but general lazy writing and one-word replies are telling.

    I do need to know a client’s name. We can communicate using a texting app if discretion is a concern, but I do generally need to receive a confirmation text from their regular phone number. Beyond that, I am flexible with regards to what screening info a client is comfortable sharing. References from an established provider with a website and social media presence are great. Workplace information is also great. I appreciate the way that American clients are much more forthcoming with screening information. Canadian clients, please take note!

    Try to understand that screening is done for escorts’ safety – I know sharing personal information is a little nerve-wracking, but as long as you have done your homework and chosen an escort with a website, social media presence, etc, you have little to worry about. Most escorts take their client’s discretion seriously and keep personal information private. And once your chosen escort feels confident that you are being honest about who you are, they will relax and enjoy themselves that much more during the date – resulting in a better experience for you!

    Expectations Of My Clients

    I expect prospective clients to visit my website and read through the info posted – it’s there for their benefit. I also expect clients to take note of how I prefer to be contacted (no phone calls, please!) and take the time to write a proper introduction. It need not be long nor especially eloquent, but they should be polite and include their name, where they saw my ad, and preferred booking time/availability.

    I don’t mind a few additional questions – provided the answers aren’t easily found on my website, of course 😉 Some clients are nervous and I want to help them relax and feel comfortable when we meet.

    Basic Etiquette Rules For Clients

    Remember that the escort you are contacting has a life outside of this profession – while you wait for a response, they may be with friends or family, completing some errands, collecting tax documents for their accountant, or simply taking some time to themselves. Please be patient, answer their questions and respect their procedures and policies.

    When the moment arrives – it’s ok to be nervous! Pay attention to your personal hygiene, and do make use of the shower, mouthwash, etc if needed or if she requests you to. Remember that she wants you to enjoy your time with her, so don’t be afraid to (politely) ask for what you want. Maybe you’d like a cuddle session, or more time chatting on the couch, or to massage her feet – if it’s a reasonable request, chances are she’ll be happy to oblige. That said, please respect her answer if she says no!

    For most escorts charging an hourly rate, the session isn’t finished as soon as you finish. Feel free to relax and chat for the full length of your session, but do keep an eye on the clock, and give yourself a few minutes towards the end of your time to get dressed and collect your belongings. She might be working in a shared space with other escorts, so it’s important to be respectful of her scheduling.

    How To Be The Client An Escort Looks Forward To Seeing

    For new clients, I take note of respectful, clear communication. I don’t require deposits or pre-payment, but I appreciate when a client offers to do so, as it allows us to simply get to know one another and enjoy our time together from the moment I open the door!

    Many of my favourite clients are those whom I’ve built a connection with over time. I enjoy good conversationalists, who ask insightful questions and have interesting anecdotes to share. When clients ask me about things I discussed during a previous date, or topics I’ve posted on my Twitter feed, it shows that they value my thoughts and ideas as much as the more physical side of our time together. I love feeling heard and appreciated!

    Ruby Labelle is an escort based out of the heart of Canada’s prairies- the humble city of Winnipeg- with a penchant for travel. She loves long bike rides, great books, good coffee, and discovering what makes a person light up with excitement.  Spend time with her in Winnipeg or take advantage of her ‘fly me to you’ option- she’d love to see more of Canada, or visit country #20!

    Follow Ruby on

    Website: www.rubylabelle.com

    Twitter: @rubylabelle_xo

    I have no upcoming events scheduled, however, I would like to visit Vancouver Island this summer and could either fly or make a road trip out of it! If you’re a prospective client in Calgary, Edmonton, Vancouver, Victoria, or elsewhere in Western Canada, please get in touch and express your interest. 🙂

    Article images courtesy of Ruby Labelle

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  • Should Consensual Prostitution Be Legalized?

    Should Consensual Prostitution Be Legalized?

    Prostitution is, as they say, the oldest profession. Women and men have been selling sex to others who are willing to pay for them since the beginning of time.

    In ancient Rome, they even ascribed it to the gods, having the prostitutes work as priestess in the Venereal Temples. They exchanged their favors for bits of gold offering to the goddess.

    So it seems sort of funny that today, in most of the world, prostitution is illegal. This begs the question, should prostitution be legalized?

    Now, let us come out by saying we are talking about consensual prostitution by grown women and men who are making the choice to sexual services. Obviously, human trafficking and underage boys and girls are a no-no.

    But many sex workers are absolutely ready, willing and able to freely given consent – should that really be illegal?

    Why People Think Prostitution Should Be Illegal

    People have many reasons for wanting prostitution to be illegal. Mostly, these are religious reasons. They feel that sex should only be between a man and his wife, and that it should only be for procreation. To them, this means that paying for sex with a man or a woman is by definition bad.

    Taking religious beliefs out of the discussion, there are also many who feel that nobody can really, freely, become a prostitute; that even voluntary prostitution is caused by economic motivations that border on desperation. They believe that people should be able to have sex with whomever they want to – and that adding money to the equation will lead to the prostitute being exploited.

    The Other Side Of The Coin

    So, there are reasons why people think prostitution should be illegal. But what about people who are in favor of legalization?

    These people believe that men and women should be able to make their own choices about their own bodies. They argue that there are many reasons to give enthusiastic consent, and that economic motivations are a fair reason to consent to sex.

    They also point out that traditional elements of marriage – from the expensive diamond ring to the man being the “bread winner” of the house – are essentially legally recognized models of prostitution.

    It’s your body, they argue; you should be able to do with it as you feel. And as far as exploitation goes – isn’t someone working at McDonald’s for minimum wage being much more exploited than a man or a woman making a couple thousand a week as a prostitute?

    Brisbane’s Cleos On Nile

    Cleos On Nile in Brisbane believes that the people who are in favor of legalized prostitution are correct. Sex trafficking happens because prostitution is kept in the dark. Also, without regulations, STDs are much more easily spread. Legalized prostitution leads to more checks and balances, particularly concerning safe sex practices.

    And at the end of the day, you’re never going to eliminate prostitution. There will always be people prepared to pay, and people who are willing to be paid.

    The way forward is to legalize prostitution and keep it licensed and regulated. That way, you can make sure everyone is above the legal age and willing to do it. You can also keep a tighter rein on the spread of sexually transmitted diseases.

    Of course, Cleos On Nile is not advocating that anyone becomes a prostitute, or go to a prostitute. We are merely responding to the questions we receive, and this is one of the most popular.

    Featured image from Shutterstock

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  • How To Create A Real Connection With A Client

    How To Create A Real Connection With A Client

    Like many girls, living on the edge led me to escorting. After several years of attending university while working full time, my health deteriorated, and I relapsed into depression and anxiety.

    It was at that time that a friend introduced me to sex work, and I fearfully decided to give it a shot. The first time was challenging for me. Prior to the date, I was very nervous and nightmares kept me up at night. After the date, I did not understand anything anymore. I enjoyed the experience, and I felt so good with my client and, most importantly, with myself. I could not help but wonder why my predictions had been so terrible. I found myself slowly gaining awareness of the heavy stigma that I just overcame and its effect on my future in this industry.

    I initially started working at an escort agency. But when they failed to meet my standards and enforced abusive conditions on their girls for the three months I was working with them, I decided to empower myself as a woman and sex worker. I started meeting other workers and clients who would become great friends and offer me a helping hand in becoming an independent escort. It was then when I confidently decided how I wanted to work and with whom, that Anna Stephan was born. I met people who currently occupy very important spots in my life, and I have lived enriching experiences that would have been out of reach otherwise.

    I see this work as a path that can be forked into several directions. Being conscious of where this lifestyle is leading you and staying determined to build the future you truly envision for yourself helps to create the life most ambitious young women desire and breaks society’s stigma of who a sex worker is supposed to be. Sex work can drag you down easily, but it can also lift you up even higher. It all comes down to the choices we make. Most importantly, escorts are like every other woman and clients are like every other man. We are only human, and there is nothing inhuman about the services we provide.

    Reasons Men Engage A Companion

    Sex work is not all about sex. Personally, I have seen a bit of everything. But for most clients, sex is only one element of the greater experience. My clients tend to be men traveling a lot for work, desiring to enjoy the company of an attractive and intelligent lady. They are looking for a natural girl, someone who makes them feel as if they are on a regular date and agree to the terms it is based on. I always say that I specialize in the GFE, because it makes me feel the most comfortable. It feels natural as if we would have met in a bar or on a random afternoon.

    Importance Of Establishing A Connection With A Client

    Without a basic offline connection, my appointments would not work out. A mental connection to discuss common ideas, for example, can end in the strongest sexual connection ever experienced. Prioritizing this connection on a date is the additional value that makes it real and unique. Both escorts and clients deserve respect and sincerity regardless of the places in life they occupy. Relationships are what moves the world, and that is why I think it is so important to connect, influence and contribute to the lives of others.

    What Makes The Connection Work

    I believe that sincerity is the most important ingredient to establish a connection and a meaningful relationship with a client. Sincerity and empathy go hand-in-hand in consummating a successful date where both parties enjoy the best experience. Following the idea of “we attract what we are,”- if you as an escort stay loyal to yourself, you and the client seeking to be with you will most probably click, since the image you are projecting already represents your true nature.

    Tips For Aspiring Companions

    First and foremost, forget about all prejudice. Read and inform yourself very well and, once inside the industry, don’t be shy to seek advice and experience for yourself. Other sex workers can give you a thousand tips to build your business model, but don’t forget that it’s in the small details where you can stand out.

    The road to success does not start by following a pattern, it starts by being yourself. Being myself has been the best marketing, the motivation behind my way of working and, above all, the main reason why I have connected with gentlemen from all over the world.

    Anna Stephan – I tend to define myself as a calm woman with an engaging smile, self-confident and ambitious in life in the healthiest possible sense. To me, the path to obtaining my objectives is always as important as achieving the end goal itself.

    Follow Anna Stephan on

    Website: www.annastephan.es

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/msannastephan

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/msannastephan/

    Article images courtesy of Mr Vivaz

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  • Sexual Healing Beyond Sex

    Sexual Healing Beyond Sex

    Sex to me, is more spiritual than anything. Sex is an entity that people are afraid of because its forces are so powerful it allows people to step out of their comfort zone… but people are afraid to be uncomfortable.

    Is It A Misconception That Men Visit Escorts Just For Sex?

    Yes, society (the masses) do have that misconception, because people think men only want sex.

    Nope, they want to be listened to, they want attention too, they want to vent, and sometimes just laugh and relax…

    One Reason Men Visit Escorts

    A lot of men want a break from their reality while still enjoying themselves by indulging in fantasy .

    Why Are Sex Workers Healers Beyond Sex?

    It is literally our job to not discriminate against others (unless they are trying to cause non-consensual harm to us), but because we meet all of our guests and clientele with love and respect despite how they look – that can do so much for a person’s self esteem.

    We’ve been making people feel good by being vulnerable with them since the beginning of time.  The fact that we, as whores have been through so much – yet can make others feel good despite our own pain says we are Healers On Earth aka HOEs!

    What I’ve Gained & Experienced

    What I’ve gained is patience and understanding. I also learned about boundaries, because if you don’t know what your limits are, people will keep trying to push you.

    What I Wish Would Change About Sex Work

    I wish more women were at the top. Like more women porn producers. More women club owners. Sex workers need their own union, because safety is usually at risk due to people’s lack of respect for us and the work we do. I hope that we can take the shame out of this work…

    Destiny Love – aka The Confident Hoe. I am a young single mother, a proud whore, SLUTivist (I speak out against the misconceptions of this lifestyle and teach people about the impacts of slut shaming). I love to read, write, study, listen to music and fantasize.

    My goal is to touch hearts, heal souls, repair what is broken and learn love for what it is truly… all through sex work.

    Follow Destiny Love on

    Instagram: @TheConfidentHoe / @ConfidentHoeSociety

    Facebook: facebook.com/therealdestinylove and

    YouTube: The Confident Hoe

    Website: ConfidentHoe.com (merchandise only)

    My book “How To Be A Confident Hoe … Because Slut Shaming Is Over” also available on Amazon.com

    I was also featured on Viceland’s TV network series: Hate Thy Neighbor – Different Sides of Feminism when I was at Amber Rose’s SlutWalk as a participant in 2017. In 2018 I was there as a vendor selling my book and other merchandise.

    You can catch me at the train stations advocating about the impacts of slut shaming while passing out informational brochures on this topic. I speak at events in different boroughs of NYC, I will also begin to speak at schools such as colleges, Universities, and even high schools about this very important topic – slut shaming.

    Article images courtesy of Destiny Love, featured image from Shutterstock

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  • Misconceptions of A Male Provider

    Misconceptions of A Male Provider

    My personal views towards escorting and sex work in general are that it’s like any other job. In one form or another, we trade in labor – which is our bodies. There are intimate aspects of what we do that distinguish it from other labor. But I ultimately view escorting and sex work as a job whereby consenting adults have agency over their persons to make money in the  manner that they see fit. Some people are carpenters. Some drive buses. Some are physicians. Some are escorts and sex workers.

    As a cisgendered male, I am in the unique position of not having the work that I do be stigmatized as much as my female counterparts. That’s largely based on how society views male sexuality versus female sexuality. Archaic norms suggest that men have more sexual agencies than women, which isn’t true. Mature, consenting adults can and do enjoy their bodies in the same ways regardless of gender. However, culture dictates that male sex work and escorting isn’t as stigmatized simply because society doesn’t make attempts at policing the male body the way that it does women’s.

    How I Got Started Into Sex Work

    I got started in sex work over 10 years ago. I did as it was a means to allow to initially make extra money, but also afforded me flexibility in my schedule to pursue some of my passions, hobbies and other interests.

    I wasn’t in any sort of financial rut or hole in my life. The idea presented to me and it was a fun and enjoyable way to earn extra income. It’s ultimately afforded me opportunities to travel and to pursue some of my outside interests so it’s worked out well to date.

    How Are Male Providers Viewed Differently From Females?

    Male providers are viewed differently than female providers in myriad ways. But two that standout to me the most are regarding agency over our bodies and choices to engage this work, and also how much we earn.

    When discussions surrounding decriminalizing sex work are ever brought up, there are always the voices that assert themselves regarding “saving” or “rescuing” women from sex work. There’s the notion of sex work somehow being “degrading” or more “dehumanizing” than any other form of labor. But this is a trope that is specific to women.

    Rarely are male sex workers branded with the need to be “rescued” from this type of work. And that is a reflection on societal hypocrisies related to women’s agency and sexuality. Male sexuality is championed from a young age. Our sexuality and “prowess” are often lauded, whereby ideas of female “chastity” are ingrained across cultures for centuries.

    The other way in which male providers are viewed differently is almost a continuation of the same cliches regarding libido. Whereas women are viewed to be more “chaste” and sex is some sort of  “task” or obligation – regardless of the type of relationship – men are viewed as insatiable and always on the prowl. This in turn has a direct impact on what is suggested that male providers can earn. The trope is a simple one: Why would I pay a guy for something that the majority are itching to give away? On average male providers earn significantly less. And where I once thought that as empowering for women, I now view it as an extension of the same attitudes that police women’s bodies and sexuality. It infantilizes women by suggesting that they don’t have the capacity to enjoy sex and intimacy in the ways that men do. So it’s a contradiction in a lot of ways that is readily embraced by never given any critical thought.

    My experience is that most of my female colleagues with a sense of self view themselves as sex positive are equal to me in regards to their own sexuality. They enjoy sex just as much as myself or any other male counterparts. But the myth that there should be no value in male provider services because there’s such an abundance of men willing to “give it away for free” is pretty common. It has a direct impact on how people view rates for male providers.

    Misconceptions Of Male Providers

    Perhaps a typical misconception that you hear regarding male providers might be aggression and attitudes towards female clients. I say it’s a misconception, as it doesn’t relate to me or any of my male colleagues that I’ve met over the years. Whether that I know personally or in passing.

    They all exhibit professionalism and kindness as well as the being respectful of boundaries. That’s important for all parties involved, both clients and providers.

    Tips For Aspiring Male Providers

    My advice to anyone interested in pursuing this sort of work is to know yourself and your boundaries. It’s important to know what you are comfortable with and what you might enjoy prior to embarking on this sort of work. The money can appear enticing, but money isn’t everything. Having a strong sense of self will keep you grounded and help to avoid any pitfalls. That holds true in my of life, but where we mix intimacy and commerce I feel that it’s key to consider.

    Your interests can certainly change and grow as you become more comfortable or are exposed to more aspects of sex work. But always remain aware and certain regarding your boundaries. This type of work can be lots of fun and also a good way to explore and engage the human condition. But being grounded in oneself prior to embarking on this work has proven to be a key.

    David Williams – I am both a Male Dom as well as an escort/ companion. I see all genders and all body types. I also offer companionship for those seeking company in a more traditional capacity. You can find out more about me at my website links.

    Follow David Williams on

    Website:

    www.theblackdom.com

    www.nycmaleescort.com

    www.vipblackmalescort.com

    NiteFlirt: www.niteflirt.com/DaveTheBlackDom

    Photo courtesy David Williams

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  • What Its Like To Be A Male Performer & Producer

    What Its Like To Be A Male Performer & Producer

    Sex is something to be cherished and enjoyed. I have had a very high sex drive ever since I discovered my love of women and the first time I came across porn, I was like wow, this is what I want to do – bone beautiful horny women in front of the camera for living!

    My motto in life is, you only live once, so go out and live life to the fullest, doing what you enjoy, otherwise, what is the point! I’m not one of them nine to five guys and never could be. Lots people like to follow the path of Uni, career job, marriage, kids, work to you’re 65, retire and then die. I couldn’t do that – life is for living is my view and do what makes you happy!

    I’m a very sexual liberal person and do wish sometimes our country was more open as the British on the whole are still very Victorian and shy when it comes to expressing their sexuality – almost sometimes as it’s frowned upon! Even so, lots of people in the UK watch porn and have sex even if they don’t admit it! LOL.

    What It’s Like Having Sex In Front Of The Camera

    Yes shooting porn and having sex on camera is completely different to having sex in your personal life. You’re doing everything for the camera, getting into unnatural positions so the camera can get the shot – it’s not about the male performers’ enjoyment. It’s about getting a hot scene which of course, having chemistry with female performer and both being into makes for a lot better scene as it shows on camera – but at the same time, we’re also doing everything for the camera so it looks great on film. And so it captures all the crystal clear shots off the action it needs, having twisted and opened up my body in unnatural positions so the camera can get the shots needed.

    Normally, the way most top producers direct their movies and how I shoot my content is we discuss the scene and what is wanted as the end product. Doing the stills first in the order we want the video roll, so both the actor myself and actress know what is wanted from the video so that the video flows rather than having stop starting every 5 minutes and having be told to switch positions if the producer isn’t getting what he wants from the scene.

    Also, doing it this way means less editing for the editor as the video flows rather than having put a load cut footage together. It is also important to have a great TOG who knows how to capture the angles and footage, along with great lighting.

    Toughest Things Being A Male Performer

    A lot of it is in the head and mental strength – you need be mentally strong, comfortable in your own body and on set. Also, you have to expect prejudice in life which male performers get as well as female performers, as sadly in this day and age, a lot of people still have Victorian attitudes towards sex and porn – even so I imagine half the people saying and making these judgements probably watch and get off to porn in their own home!

    It does change your life as people judge, but fuck them, I’m just living the life. A lot of them probably wished they were – they just haven’t got the balls to do it! And thankfully, there are people out there who are open minded and sexually liberated too like myself, just a lot doldrums around too! LOL.

    Favorite Scenes To Shoot

    Well, that’s a hard question as there are many! I do enjoy acting and comedy you have in some scenes as you get to play different characters every week – one day you could be playing the role of a plumber (I’ll leave that to your imagination but think of a horny plumber coming round to fix a hot MILFs’ boiler but ends up plumbing her holes instead! Haha). And the next minute, you’re in a Kill Bill Porno spoof LOL. I’ve also had a couple foursomes on camera, me with three girls, which is a lot of fun!

    Common Misconceptions About Adult Performers

    People just think we’re sex objects and don’t realize that we are real people like everyone else, doing normal things. For example, I play 5-a-side twice a week with my friends outside of the industry – it’s nice to have bit normality as one can easily get sucked into the porn world, and hear what my friends are up to –all of whom have many different careers.

    Also, what annoys me is that some people outside the industry think we’re riddled when we’re actually the safest, more health conscious people to have sex with as we all take our sexual health very seriously in the industry, being tested once a month and won’t shoot without certs – I find it ironic that some people who think this regularly go out on weekends having bareback one night stands as they are the ones likely to end up with STDs and an unplanned pregnancy!

    Big Johnny – An experienced well-endowed 34 year old British Male Pornstar. He has shot with some of the top UK & European female talent as well as producers, including Private, Playboy, Televison X, Killergram, Virtual Real among many others. He has also appeared on mainstream Channel 5 in Sex after Marriage with Paradise Summers in the UK.  He was nominated for best male performer in 2015 & 2018 at UKAP porn awards, as well as having his new website www.bigjohnnyxxx.com nominated for best website of the year! You can become a member for as little as $5 for a 7 day trial!

    Big Johnny Male Pornstar – Follow My XXX Adventures with Pornstar Babes, Amateurs, Girl Next Door, Milfs, Grannys, Asian Sluts, Black Girls and More!

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    7 Day Trial Only $5! – hyperlink in bold red font maybe to my website address please?

    Follow me on

    Website: www.bigjohnnyxxx.com

    Twitter: www.twitter.com/bigjohnnyuk

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    Clips4sale: https://www.clips4sale.com/studio/81261/big-johnny-xxx-pornstar-babes

    ManyVids: https://www.manyvids.com/Profile/578055/Big-Johnny/

    Article images courtesy of Big Johnny

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  • Tips For Aspiring Sex Workers

    Tips For Aspiring Sex Workers

    It should go without saying that I’m a huge supporter of a woman’s right to do whatever she’d like with her body, including participating in sex work. I’ve been in the industry on and off for about five years now and it was originally a means of survival for me. My mental health was at an all-time low after I graduated University. Depression and anxiety were taking over my life and I couldn’t hold down a “regular” 9-5 job because getting out of bed or taking care of myself was simply impossible some days. Sex work saved my life during this period. I was working with an agency and it was great being able to support myself during such an emotionally and financially difficult point in my life.

    I took a break for a few years but now I’m back in the industry from a healthier place. I have a “regular” job now but I enjoy sex work too much to give it up. The main difference is I work independently now and I’ve never felt more empowered. I love being in charge of who I see, when I see them, what we do and how much I take home at the end of the day. I have made so many genuine friends and connections through sex work and met so many amazing men and women who I’d otherwise have never had to chance to get to know.

    I’m tired of society painting us with a wide paintbrush and saying we’re all victims or that sex work shouldn’t be decriminalized. Who exactly are we hurting by doing the work that we do? Contrary to what society would have you believe, the industry is NOT just junkies and trafficking victims. Countless women choose sex work as a career and actually enjoy it, from the extra money to the extra free time and flexibility it affords, to the connections that are formed.

    Sex work is like any other form of labor to me and deserves to be seen as such. To those who see it as demeaning: I personally don’t see anything especially empowering about working minimum wage retail or food service and struggling to get by, but it’s up to each person to choose their own path. Sex work is not for everyone, but it certainly deserves the respect of everyone.

    Things I Wished I Knew Before Starting Out

    I wish I’d transitioned into working independently sooner. I was intimidated by the idea of it when I first began, but now I can’t imagine ever working for an agency again. It’s just not for me. There are certainly positives to working for an agency: it was nice having incall locations available last minute, as well as having a driver and free photoshoots and advertising, but having the agency take almost half of my earnings got really old really fast. I wish I’d done my research and had the confidence to be my own boss sooner.

    I also wish someone had told me it was okay to say no. I started out with the mindset that since the gentlemen were paying for my time, that I had to do whatever they wanted during our time together to keep them happy and wanting to come back again. I endured way too many clients who were either under the influence of drugs or alcohol, which made me uncomfortable, or those who had bad hygiene, or those who’d pressure me for my real name and personal details I was not comfortable sharing. At the agency I worked for, we’d never discussed how to turn down a client which made me feel like it wasn’t okay to turn down a client.

    How It Felt Like Initially

    I was so nervous on my very first day! It was Halloween night and I had no idea what to expect. I was with an agency, so the driver picked me up at home and dropped me off at the incall location, which was a condo building in downtown Toronto. Luckily my first client was very nice. I shared with him that it was my first time and he thankfully took charge of the situation — I love when dates do this in my personal life as well. He did not become a regular of mine, but we had a lovely time together.

    How To Stand Out & Be Unique

    All you can really do is be yourself. Ultimately, if you try too hard or come up with a gimmick to stand out, it’s going to get you noticed but for all the wrong reasons. Personality wins every time. Just be yourself on your social media and website, and when interacting via email. Don’t feel like you have to curate yourself, because when you meet that client in the real world, they’re going to see who you really are anyway.

    Don’t let them fall for an illusion or some photoshopped pictures. It’s okay to listen to Taylor Swift instead of classical. It’s okay to like beer instead of whiskey. It’s okay to not be the “cool girl”. These gentlemen are paying for time with YOU, not with a false and idealized version of you.

    How I See The Escorting Industry Evolving

    I hope the industry continues to evolve and I hope the stigma surrounding sex work and sex workers begins to fade. It’s an honest job and should be seen as such. We are not just selling sex. We are selling our time, our energy, our companionship, a tender touch, a devilish glance, an escape from your real life and a vacation into the dreamworld we’ve created for you. We’re selling a collection of uncrushed moments you can replay in your mind for a lifetime after our time together is actually over.

    I’d also like to change the way certain sex workers see their peers who are perhaps not doing as well as they are. It’s great if you’re a high-end companion and going on extravagant trips and receiving luxury gifts, but please, don’t look down on those who are working the street, working out of their cars, or offering quickie sessions or lower rates. At the end of the day, we are all sex workers and we have to stand by each other if we’re ever going to survive as an industry. Society is already trying to dismantle us — let’s not help them by creating divides between us.

    7 Tips For Aspiring Sex Workers

    Don’t get into this industry expecting it to be easy money. It’s a lot of work behind the scenes, especially if you’re working independently without the assistance of an agency. You need to build a website, you need quality photos and constantly updated photos — I’d say hire a professional photographer who is sex-worker-friendly for your initial photos, but also invest in a selfie stick and tripod. They’re cheap and they’re a great way to update your site or your socials with new pictures, without spending an arm and a leg.

    Figure out what your rates will be! Have a look at what other providers in your area are charging. Remember: it’s always easier to raise your rates than to lower them. And work that new-girl energy!

    Be active on social media. Don’t just post ads — actually engage in conversations and let your personality shine through. A lot of clients will lurk your social media for awhile to get a feel for who you are, and they can’t do that if all you’re posting is ads. I personally prefer switter.at and twitter.com

    Decide whether you’ll be offering both incall and outcall service, and, if you’re offering incall, will you host in your own space or will you go the route of Airbnb and hotels? If you are in a larger city like New York or San Francisco, find apps that will offer you cheap day rates or pay-per-minute. They’re out there and they exist.

    Will you be touring? This is a great way to expand your network of clients, and also a nice way to see more of the world if you’re so inclined. Sign up for an air miles card and / or a hotel loyalty card that offers rewards when you use them. Research online beforehand to see which hotels are more provider-friendly. For discretion, I tend to choose large hotels where everyone just blends in.

    Screening! Figure out how you’re going to make sure your potential new client is a safe client. I like to get at least two references from past providers. Get familiar with the blacklist sites for your area as well. Will you be seeing newbies who do not have past provider references? That’s fine, just make sure you have other ways to thoroughly screen, such as: getting their full legal name, government ID, real-world employment information, and go from there.

    Don’t forget to also take care of yourself. It’s easy to get burnt out when your job revolves around taking care of others, but it’s like the airplane adage that everyone repeats these days: you need to put your own mask on before helping others. Take a day off, or take a week off. Check in with yourself regularly and don’t be afraid to turn down a date if you need that extra you-time.

    Hadley Darling – Hadley Darling is a companion based in Toronto, Canada, but also tours regularly to visit her friends worldwide. She graduated from university with a major in Communications, minor in English, but now chooses sex work instead, because of the companionship, income, and free time it affords her to do other good things, like volunteering with animals and the less fortunate. When she’s not on dates with refined gentlemen, she can usually be found experimenting with new recipes in the kitchen, tending to her garden, binge watching Law and Order SVU, or fawning over her kitty.

    Follow Hadley Darling on

    Website: http://hadleydarling.wixsite.com/home

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/DarlingHadley

    Switter: https://switter.at/web/accounts/59607

    Article images courtesy of Hadley Darling

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  • How Is Escorting and Mental Health Linked?

    How Is Escorting and Mental Health Linked?

    I have been escorting now for nearly two years and think it has been a very liberating experience. It allows women like myself to take full control over our work, life and financial choices which are almost impossible to have in a normal 9-5 job. Because of this, escorting can be incredibly empowering and allows women to have opportunities that are denied in ‘normal society ‘.

    Is There Any Correlation Between Escorting & Mental Health?

    I don’t believe escorting itself can cause mental health issues, however, I do believe that the stigma escorts face on a daily basis causes unnecessary stress.

    A lot of people wrongly promote the idea that all escorts are troubled in some way which instead of helping SWs, just spreads misconceptions about our industry.

    Contributing Factors That Affect The Mental Health Of Escorts

    Because sex work is still seen as taboo, a lot of SWs have to lie to friends and family which causes huge amounts of stress and anxiety. Loneliness is also a big factor, many escorts work alone with only online friends to talk to and this can be very isolating.

    Another factor is being self employed in a very competitive online environment, there is constant pressure to work longer hours, take better photos and have a bigger presence.

    Is There A Difference Working Independently & For An Agency?

    I think working independently, whilst making more financial sense, is a lot harder than being attached to an agency because you don’t have any support or back up when finding clients, screening clients etc. However, working for an agency can mean working for unscrupulous people on very inconvenient hours. I think both independent and agency escorts face the same mental health challenges.

    Does Making Escorting Legal Help Escorts Have Better Mental Health?

    Yes! Escorts would be free to be honest with doctors and health professionals and state exactly what they need without fear of repercussions. They would feel safe approaching the police and financially would not have the stress of worrying about how to approach banks to handle their earnings.

    What Can An Escort Turn To If She Is Down?

    I’m very lucky in that I have a couple of close friends whom I can talk to and meet up with but a lot of escorts don’t have that luxury. I would talk to other escorts online, use forums or if you can, go to a trusted health professional.

    I would also suggest taking regular breaks, turning your phone off when not available and pampering — going for a massage or doing ‘normal’ things like going to the cinema or finding a meaningful hobby. Having a healthy separation between work and me time is essential.

    Advice For Those Keen To Go Into Escorting

    Escorting is not an easy job and it takes patience, assertiveness and a genuine enjoyment of the job. If done right, it can be very rewarding. My main piece of advice would be to work on your own terms with what you feel comfortable with. If you want to be porn star escort, goth escort or a no make-up jeans and t-shirt escort, go for it. Don’t be put under pressure to pretend to be someone you’re not.

    Estella Brown – Estella Brown is a London based Escort. She is also a writer, a lover of vintage lingerie and an avid Twitterer.

    Follow Estella Brown on

    Twitter: @EstellaInLondon

    Website: www.estellabrown.com

    Email: Contactestella@protonmail.com

    Article images courtesy of Estella Brown; featured image from Shutterstock

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  • Satiating your Lust: Does Your Escort Truly Know How To Please You?

    Satiating your Lust: Does Your Escort Truly Know How To Please You?

    With over 60,879 females and 44,085 males working within the escorting industry in the UK alone, you may naturally start to feel a little overwhelmed when you start to scroll through the internet in order to locate perfect companion. Whether you have gone online to find an escorting agency or have heard through word of mouth that a local independent escort truly knows how to please, you need to make sure that your companion knows how to fully satisfy you and all of your desires.

    Sometimes an unsuccessful date with an escort can emerge just because you and your companion just are not suited to each other. Your personalities might just not merge together or you may just not feel comfortable enough to express all of your sexual desires when you arrive at a hotel room together. What matters is that you take your time and truly get to know your companion. If there is something that you do not like then let her (or him) know as fast as possible. Never keep this knowledge to yourself!

    Have You Picked The Right Category Of Escort?

    Everyone knows that human sexuality is something that is very difficult to be pinned down. You cannot define it solely as one sort of sexual interest or flame. Not when there are so many fetishes out there that some people even choose to make a part of their lifestyle. These fetishes can be softcore or even extremely hardcore. The categories of these fetishes tend to fall under:

    • Roleplay Fetishes
    • Costume Fetishes
    • Body Part Fetishes

    What is important about meeting an escort to address these fetishes is that you remain honest about them. Your escort will not judge you on them, but they will judge you if you decide to keep something secret from them. Your companion is an experienced adult worker and will have interacted with a whole range of fetishes and strange requests. This means that there is genuinely nothing left that will surprise her. If she is uncomfortable about your request then she will certainly not be keeping it a secret from you.

    One of the worst things that could happen during a meeting with an escort is to begin being intimate, but then again having no satisfaction from the encounter. If you are not completely honest about what you want then you may find that your companion just will not be able to fully satisfy you. Whilst you can request for small changes to be made during the date, if you suddenly request a whole new fetish or sexual request to be added to the date, you may suddenly find that your request is denied. If you cannot pay for this action, or your companion simply does not have the time to compare for it, you will simply leave the date feeling worse than when you first met your beautiful companion.

    So always be open and honest about the things you want and expect from your escort. If your escort simply cannot please you, or if you find that she/he is a little amateur at best with their sexual prowess, there is no harm in stopping the date or just not booking with her in the future. Your escort should be worth her rates, so if you do not like her, then do not just keep going back to her. Find someone new who will genuinely be able to please you.

    What Is Your Attitude Towards Your Escort?

    Forming a relationship with a beautiful escort is one that is based upon respect and trust. After all, you are putting your fetishes and deepest sexual desires in her hands. You expect her to retain your privacy and make you feel calm before you undertake to satisfy your hidden kinks.

    The last thing that needs to happen on a date is either party making the other feel uncomfortable due to their attitude or commentary. The high-end escorts all know that the best way to gain loyalty from their clients is to remain optimistic and accepting of all sexualities and fetishes. That way, a client who may lack the self-confidence to fully accept themselves will feel warm and welcome. They will feel like they are normal people and an escort’s encounter may even bring them the confidence needed to get out there and meet like-minded individuals.

    One little-misplaced comment or action is all it takes to destroy this foundation of trust. That is why both you and your escort need to watch what you say. Do not be aggressive with your escort, but also do not take any sort of humiliation or insults in regards to your sexuality and requests. If you are being respectful about what you want, and you are not pressurising or rude, then your escort has no right to make you feel uncomfortable about yourself. Never instigate a situation where you and your escort may have a “falling out.” If you think a date is simply not working out then you have every right to end it, the same way that your escort also has the right to end the date if they think you are mistreating them.

    Always keep your attitude in check and remain respectful whilst on a date. Whilst not all personalities will click together perfectly, there is no harm in admitting that the date just did not contain the spark needed to satiate you. Just as long as you remain calm, collected and respectful, then you have every right to simply find a different escort that would suit your personality and specific sexual needs.

    Agency VS Independent Escorts

    Before you even think about hiring a sexy companion, you need to start considering what sort of worker you want to invest in. Companion agencies, like Mr Smith Escorts, will provide you with a wide range of escorts under one brand name. One of the best things about working with an escorting agency is in regards to the diversity of companions you will get to meet. Each escorting company will have different categories, locations and prices for you to choose from. That means you can find a dream escort that will fully suit all of your kinks and desires, as well as look at previous reviews about how good her service truly.

    A true escorting agency will only put up ladies on their website that are completely real. Usually, a problem associated with online escorts, as well as the occasional independent escort, is the fear that they are not real. Skip-the-Games.Com, an escorting directory, listed that online adult community can be an attractive domain for scammers who create and provide “Completely fake ads by posters who are just looking for money, ads where a scammer tries to steal your credit card information, providers who don’t look anything like their photos and escort bookings that end with the customer being robbed.”

    Any self-respecting agency will never allow this to happen, as they all screen their photographs, meet the models or ask them to provide selfies to prove that they look the way they have described. This means that you can always ensure that the models you meet will always be a perfect fit for you.

    However, as an agency does tend to host a large array of young women and men, you may find that the sort of people that advertise for may look a little bland. After all, they are simply lumped together under one category and have no spice to make them stand out. This may lead to you feeling like you cannot satisfy all of your sexual fantasies with them.

    That is why you should also consider an independent escort. An independent escort will stand out amongst her fellow companions as she owns her own business. She will use her stunning personality as her selling point and knows exactly what sort of clientele she is ready to please. If you are willing to take a little more time to uncover the perfect independent escort, then you will always find a tailored service that is personalised to your own fetishes. An independent escort will know everything that is needed to please someone who likes a specific fetish, so you can feel rest assured that your sexual desires will be held in good hands.

    The only thing that you may find a little frustrating about an independent escort is their lack of flexibility. If you have more than one fetish, then you may realise that your independent companion can only really satisfy one of them instead of taking care of all of your needs. This may mean that you end up having to find a different independent escort in order to feel fully satisfied. Be sure to always read an independent escort’s sexual skills carefully so that you can see whether or not she will be able to suit you and your specific tastes.

    Are You Getting The Most Out Of Your Escorting Experience?

    When it comes to finding the perfect sexual companion, you deserve to be treated like royalty. You are paying to make sure that all of your desires are satiated, thus you should not take lacklustre service in return for your money. The moment you feel uncomfortable with your companion, or think that their services are just not up to scratch, do not be scared to initiate conversation. Do not become aggressive or frustrated. Instead, be kind and patient and talk to them about where they may be going wrong or may need to slow down.

    Your escort cannot read your mind, thus you will need to be open and honest with them about how you are feeling. If all else fails, then you can simply not see them for another date. The world of escorts is your oyster when it comes to the internet. So take your time and find a perfect companion to soothe your naughtiest desires.

    Content Writer: Hannah Fletcher

    Featured image courtesy of Shutterstock

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  • Getting Started Into The Adult Industry

    Getting Started Into The Adult Industry

    Sex work is a job just like any other. There is demand and so therefore there is supply. It’s not for everyone but neither is nursing nor teaching.

    As people like to throw around, it’s the oldest profession in the world. I’ve only been in the industry for five years and its changed a lot in that time with the internet and has been affected by different laws which have closed sites down etc. It’s become harder to run your own business in ways – you have to keep up with what’s trending.

    People think it’s lots of money for doing not too much. It’s glamourised. I often hear people say, oh I could do that. But could they? There is the obvious physical side and then there is the psychological side. Getting the mind right is the most important part.

    But it’s the best job that I have ever had. I work my own hours, I decide when I see people and where. I am my own boss and I choose. It’s very empowering work. I am more than a sex worker – I’m a companion, a confidant, a psychologist and sometimes a friend. There is much more depth to it than what most people allow their minds to fathom past the name calling and judgements. Your best friend could be a sex worker. It doesn’t make them any less of a best friend.

    How I First Got Started Into Sex Work

    I was a nurse in my previous life – this industry is actually not that much different in many ways, patients require care, support and nurturing and so do my clients these days.

    I left nursing, I was sick of the shift work and decided to become a massage therapist which led to exploring other areas of the esoteric arts such as tantra and shamanic practices. I really loved the connectedness that I felt when I was with clients in tantric practices and massage and one thing led to another. I worked in a massage parlour in Melbourne doing erotic massage, and was approached by clients for extra services all the time and one day I just thought – what the hell!  I was paid by someone that I chose to spend time with, no one forced me and I felt so empowered, this was my body and I was choosing to spend time with someone for a monetary exchange on my terms. It was the most liberating moment of my life.

    Does Getting Into The Adult Industry At A Later Age Have A Difference?

    I can’t say what it’s like for the younger girls but for me, entering the industry in my late 30’s was the right time. I had joked about it before in my life but never entertained the thought. Being older I am very aware of my boundaries – what I will and won’t do with clients. I know my own body and listen to it for when I will and won’t work – this is not a job that you can do 8 hrs a day 5 days a week. There is a process that you need to go through regarding age and clients, I’m not 20, I have stretch marks, my face is older, I am older.

    There are questions that you have for yourself, do I get less clients because I’m older, will they not want an old lady etc. Life is cruel in the fact that it favours the young, especially for women. And this industry is hard like that as we are all judged by a photo on an advertisement as to our sex appeal, beauty, brains etc. Whatever the client is looking for. But what age has to offer is experience, intelligence, and knowing ourselves. We have more figured out. And some clients love that and they are my type of clients.

    What The Industry Can Improve On

    I would love to see more acceptance within the industry between workers. There is a lot of in-fighting in parlours etc. I work privately so I don’t experience that anymore but it can be lonely working alone too. I know girls who work privately and have still had issues with other workers on social media sites. Women can’t help themselves to take others down. It seems part of our make up. It’s a shame that it’s this way. We would all do so much better if we supported each other. (It was similar in nursing too, to be honest)

    And it’s glamorised by the media – most movies about it are the broken woman who wants to be rescued, think Pretty Woman. It’s just not true. There are many shapes and sizes of people who work in this industry, we are not all broken, cash strapped, addicts who need someone to rescue us.

    Biggest Misconception About Sex Work

    As I said above – we are broken people who can’t get money any other way.

    We don’t have relationships and our families disown us and we have to hide who we are.

    When I shared my job with people, initially it was with trepidation as I was concerned about people’s opinions. And rightly so, as I have lost quite a few friends who no longer want to associate with someone who works in my line of work.

    But if they didn’t know – if they still kept telling themselves that I was the nurse I would still be a friend. Because I didn’t change, my career did.

    And people think that we don’t have relationships, yes it’s harder to have them because it takes more understanding but it is possible. I’m still a person who loves and cares for those around me, being a sex worker doesn’t change that either.

    Advice For Those Looking To Go Into Sex Work

    Best advice ever!!! Start slow. Dip your toe. Don’t rush and buy heaps of clothes, make up etc. You probably have one nice set of lingerie already. That’s enough. You have no idea whether this job is for you.

    Do your research – check out what area you think you might like to work in and see what support services are available to you – there are many in each city for safe sex practices, laws, mental health etc.

    Check them out!!

    If you start in massage parlours or brothels, go and check out a few. Work a shift or two in each and then decide which you like. Do this first before you even think about working privately.

    Read other profiles of other workers that are around your age. (Warning: this will mess with everything that you thought about yourself but you need to see who’s charging what for what so that you can work out roughly what to charge)

    Private work is a big jump – I would definitely start in a club or brothel and then decide. There is a lot to consider with private that is over and above what I have shared here. Photo’s, security, advertising, return on investment for advertising, touring, the list goes on and this information gets learnt along the way. It’s personal, and trial and error. What works for one doesn’t necessarily work for another. But if you love business and how it works, managing money, juggling clients and time management then this is the job for you, and you can work your own hours.

    Ruby Wild – Hello I’m Ruby Wild. I believe that passion and pleasure make life a much richer journey and there is nothing more powerful than when two people meet and experience both. I am a well travelled, educated and life experienced woman with a diverse background full of adventures to share. Whether you enjoy an hour interlude or dinner, dancing and dessert, I am very capable of holding my own in any environment and make a wonderful companion.

    Follow Ruby Wild on

    Website: https://www.ruby-wild.com

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/rubywild000

    Instagram: @wild.ruby

    Other Sites: 

    https://scarletblue.com.au/escort/ruby-wild

    https://escortsandbabes.com.au/Profile/QLD/Brisbane/Independent/Rubywild/

    Featured image courtesy of Shutterstock, article images courtesy of Ruby Wild

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