Tag: Sex Work

My Experience As A Sex Worker

I believe that sex work can be the most feminist thing you can do. I own my body and rights completely. I work for myself and have started my own business. Sex workers help the economy. We are the oldest running profession and deserve much more respect than we are getting. We truly make the world go round!

Why I Decided To Go Into Sex Work

I was 21 when I first started as a stripper in Portland Oregon. I was tired of making little money in retail and being treated less than. This girl who would come into my retail place said I would definitely make money as a stripper. I waited to turn 21 because the club she worked at wouldn’t hire under 21. It was the best choice I have ever made. It changed my life in a very powerful way. From stripping, I met my first sugar daddy. Then got into escorting from there.

Does Being In Sex Work Affect Ones’ Non-Sex Work Relationships?

I don’t think being a sex worker should affect any of my relationships but sadly, it can. I just don’t give those people the time of day. I won’t give my energy to people who can’t understand what I do. I mean, I can’t tell my family sadly, but they don’t need to know what I do exactly.

Challenges I Experienced So Far

Well some challenges I have faced are mostly due to my body not being this “certain” type. Plus I am alternative as well. It only has stopped me from working at the “nicer” clubs but still make great money working the clubs I do. Plus, I don’t see it as a challenge any longer!

Weirdest Requests From Clients?

I don’t like to use the word weird but since I am open-minded I get guys wanting things that maybe not all sex workers would be open to doing. I just know I am very non-judgmental. (:

Typical Myths About Sex Work

To the people who think we are all forced into doing this, YOU are very wrong. We are not all forced (and to the people who are, I feel for them and hope to see change in that) we want to do what we do. Which is making others happy and supporting our own dreams. I am privileged to be able to use my looks and my mind to help achieve my goals. I am truly blessed with the life I have, meeting so many wonderful sex workers along the way!

Mila Pixie Rose – Mila is a sex worker from Portland Oregon. A magical and ethereal Goddess to help fantasies come true. She is a writer, director, designer and soon to be tattoo artist. She is a very ambitious and strong willed young woman, follow her on her journey!

Follow Mila on

All Sites: https://linktr.ee/pixiearthoe

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pixiearthoe/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/pixiearthoe

ManyVids: https://www.manyvids.com/Feed/tinymilarose/1002840719

Images courtesy of Mila Pixie Rose

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Check out TopEscortBabes for other sex workers in your area.

January 16, 2020
How To Avoid Feeling Nervous Before Sex

Salutations!

My name is Winnie Elle. I’m a full service Sex Worker based in the United States. My job has taken me from the coasts of California to the Her Majesty’s United Kingdom. Sex, much like in the name, is my profession. I am very open with myself and my subsequent views on sex. I view it as a very natural and necessary part of the human experience. I understand that for so many people, it’s taboo and uncomfortable but many of us crave sexual intimacy and that’s okay.

Does Being Nervous Affect Sexual Performance?

It’s very natural to feel nervous in the moments leading up to sex. Am I attracted to them, are they attracted to me? Will it be good? Will I please them? Will they find me desirable once we shed our clothes? There is a lot that can run through our brains that could cause us to feel uneasy before we do the dirty deed. It’s normal. I feel it all the time.

Honestly, once your eyes meet, and your skin becomes acquainted with theirs, the fear falls away. Don’t get me wrong, there are moments where you can be pulled out of your headspace and the anxiety can set back in. But if you and your partner have good chemistry and patience, falling back into each other comes with ease.

Some Reasons Men Feel Nervous Before Sex

One of the biggest reasons men have had reservations with me is the expectations of sexual satisfaction. What are they used to? Have they been with someone more endowed/experienced than me? Will my sexual preferences scare them off? How will they react when I ask for X?

Each body is a different machine. Pressing the same order of buttons may not yield similar results. It’s a nerve wracking and exhilarating experience to be with someone new. It’s best to be as open as you can with your needs and boundaries so that you both can enjoy good sex.

Calming The Nerves Of Your Sexual Partner

When it comes to calming the nerves of a new sexual partner, I like to physically give them space. Some people are not fond of the hollywood experience of ripping each others clothes off and melting into a carnal fantasy. It helps to have relaxing conversations and to share a few laughs. A smile is a powerful thing.

I try and pay close attention to their body language to get a feel for their level of comfort. As they begin to relax, I will sit next to them and begin to caress them. All while carrying a conversation, I would undress them and the rest is magic.

Tips To Enjoy Sex

There is no one way to get into the zone for sex. Some need to be talked to, some need thorough foreplay, some need a stern hand and sharp tongue. What is most important is being sure that this person is someone you want to engage with and vice versa. Being sure you both want each other takes so much of the uncertainty away.

Beyond that, remember that sex is fun. It’s fun! Try not to take yourself so seriously that you forget the joy in getting tangled up in the person in front of you.

Follow Winnie Elle on

Website: www.WondrousWinnie.com

Twitter: @Wondrous_Winnie

OnlyFans: OnlyFans.com/Winnie_Elle

In the Spring of 2020 I will be moving back to my hometown of Los Angeles! For the new year I am offering a 6 hour Fly Me To You promotion for 5k (airfare and lodgings included)

Images courtesy of Winnie Elle

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January 12, 2020
Misconceptions About Sex Work

My general views towards sex…Are that women and girls get “morally bullied” into a set of so called guidelines that men are not made to adhere to. I believe (and by the way I am Christian, but liberal), I believe that sex between adults and consensual sex is a matter of choice and should be enjoyed without hangups imposed by others.

I do as a parent still believe in my daughter and sons at least having their first time with someone they love …but I am not overly obsessed with them being married to enjoy it.

Have fun but be responsible.

(sidenote I am also TRULY bisexual, so yes I am very sexually open and liberal.. Hence my occupation haha)

What I Love About Sex Work

I was always pretty sexually open once I lost my virginity. Not so much in the regard to the amount of partners but just different sexual things and experiences. I used to have probably more random sex after my first two serious heartaches between ages of 17-19 than I did my first year of escorting. (being honest). I chilled, had kids, (two before marriage and one during and two more after), then when we split because of my affair with a woman I was working CNA work and realized if and when I needed an attorney, I’d need real money. So I decided to cash in on my sexuality, looks and intelligence.

I began practicing S.T.O.P

State

Tax

On

Pussy

What I enjoy most about sex work is that I get to make my own schedule, have more time for being a Mom (even if at times my kids don’t think so). They were too young to remember the 16 hour nursing shifts and me LITERALLY never being home.

Also just the fact that I don’t have to stand on my back, punishing my body to make per day what I can make per hour. I should note though that after 18 years in the industry and after Fosta/Sesta, I am semi-retired.

My main business these days is the Web Design and Assistant Business that allows me to make a living and to also help other sex workers grow and become the best they can be.

How The Sex Industry Is Like

I think this question is one that is going to vary based on experience. I came in at 31 years old and from a little more than average childhood with no real serious history of abuse, or drugs etc. I was privileged in that regard. But I have at times found myself in hell and struggling. It’s like life, there are ebbs and flows.

I think for me overall (other than two arrests and one sexual assault…just without the beating) I have had a kinder career than most. But I also think that my personality and the way I simply let folks know I will NOT take anyone’s BS has kept me somewhat safe from the real crazies. But I will say this…this industry demands thick skin. A lot of girls come into it and think it’s all fancy lingerie, and fun, and trips. They forget the long hours of admin work, the marketing, the funds to cover ad costs. They don’t consider the dangers of it. While most trafficking stories are propaganda to push political agendas, there are also REAL victims. (That’s another topic, for another time) but yes sex work is dangerous, risky hard work.

I am fortunate that I have been able to live “out” so therefore people cannot out me, but they have tried. But for many, sex work is a lonely life. No matter how great they try to make their lives look on social media. It’s lonely if you don’t have anyone to talk to and who won’t judge you. So many live with the fear of being found out, with being scared to embark on love and life.

I guess to sum it up…Sex work has plenty of PROS but beware of underestimating its cons.

Overall I’d say for me, I don’t regret a moment of it. It helped me grow, become stronger and to a point where I now own two businesses of my own that allows me to help others.

Frustrating Misconceptions About Sex Work

OMG, mainly these two..

We are all trafficked, all of us are victims whether we know it or not they say.

I am not a victim, I made a choice. My choice was to profit off something that’s absolutely natural. Men may not like this point of view…but even your wife, your girlfriend expects you to support her. Even if she has her own money…she expects it. If you don’t do those things, she puts you on the couch! When men take a civvie girl out to dinner and they pay for dinner or buy her an outfit, they do it in hopes of getting laid either that day or in the future. All relationships to some degree are business.

This way, it’s all out in the open. In other words, no matter what TV and news want you to believe, we are not all victims.

The idea that sex workers are full of disease and that no one would be married to us, or in relationships with us..

This is crazy…If you liked it enough to pay for it, you better believe someone will fall in love with us.

We are human beings, with human needs just like anyone else. I have an 11 year life partner, who’s also my co-web designer. I have kids, hell, I have grandkids. I am a real person…We all are.

As for the disease stuff…Look people, our bodies are how we make our money. That means it’s even more important for us to stay clean and to protect our reputations and to not cause harm to anyone else. We don’t want your wife or whoever to get sick. We’re a much safer bet than the random hookup online. We are tested often and most of us, (I cannot speak for everyone) practice safe sex.

Are There Ways To Prevent Such Misconceptions?

I don’t know. I myself have been advocating, blogging and trying to get men and women to view us differently for YEARS. The problem is that people forget there is strength in numbers. More people should be sharing their REAL life stories. The human side of them, not just the character.

They portray. If we want the world to remember we are people just like them, we have to push that narrative. We have to be seen and heard. We need to take away the terms “Prostitute” and make the world acknowledge that sex work is WORK. I know some think using that term or the term “Hoe” gives us some power. I disagree, they are terms made up by men and prudish women. We are workers, we work the sex industry..and we deserve to be called a title that is respectful.

Stop letting men call you things that are derogatory. Stop letting review culture define what and who you are as a companion etc.

Have a voice, share your stories and educate the masses…Let them know what we really do. Let them know it’s not all lingerie, sex and B.J’s.

What To Be Prepared For Prior To Being A Sex Worker

That there will be slow periods. Years ago when I started in 2001…Yes we made boat loads, but the atmosphere was different. We didn’t have to screen hard etc. We kinda just posted, got cute and worked. I always had a site and operated like a real business, but honestly back then…you didn’t have to. NOW you really have to!

Know that both the men and other sex workers can and will be great to you, but they can also be cruel as fuck to you. Be ready for it and learn to shake it off and keep making your coins.

Don’t be paranoid or self sabotage by over thinking things. Scared money doesn’t make money.

Yes, you must screen and operate with CAUTION, but not fear.

When it’s tough work on your marketing, see what you can do better. Don’t throw in the towel instantly. But if you or your family are doing bad and it’s losing your home etc…find a way to have a second gig to make your ends. Lots of sex workers can no longer survive off sex work alone.

Seductive Storm – I am a 49 yr old VIP BBW Escort. I am located in the Atlanta area but do travel as well. I am the perfect date for the man who craves more than the usual bedroom only date.

Follow Seductive Storm on

Websites:

www.takenbystorm.co

www.stormvision.online

www.seductivestorm.net

www.goddessstorm.net

Twitter:

Https://www.twitter.com/supergirlstorm

www.twitter.com/stormassists

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/seductive.storm_VIP

I am the creator of TAKEN BY STORM. I provide, SEO, WEB DESIGN, SCREENING AND BOOKING ASSISTANCE , AND PHOTOGRAPHY TO OTHER ESCORTS.

I also am still providing escort services myself as well. I plan on visiting Chicago , DC (I’m from the Baltimore/DC area originally) and other places.

I am always available for Fly Me To you.

Images courtesy of Seductive Storm

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January 8, 2020
How To Be A Successful Mature Escort

I believe our individual sexuality is a gift, something to be cherished and embraced. I see sex work as an opportunity for those who want to fully and freely enjoy their sexuality and preferences without the strings of a conventional relationship.

Whether they are denied that gift through circumstance, repression, opportunity or personal lack of self confidence in the dating world. The recently divorced male for whom another relationship would be too soon. A widowed gentleman, still in his sexual prime. An executive too busy for the hassle of dating. A handicapped guy who might never find an intimate partner. The cross dresser who is not allowed to express that side of himself at home. There’s always been a need in society for our services and I see myself as a facilitator to allow my client friend’s intimate desires, fantasies and fetishes to be realized.

How I Got Into Escorting

Frankly, an inadequate income in high end commissioned sales. I’d been in the “lifestyle” and a nudist for several years, married and than as a single woman. Highly sexual and comfortable in my sexuality. By chance, I saw an ad in the Tampa newspaper looking for classy women for upscale lingerie modeling.

I was offered the “night shift.” From 6-10ish each evening after my day job. All the daytime spots were filled. I called and asked, “Would you be interested in a mature woman for the position?” The reply was absolutely and I wore a beautiful silk suit to the interview. Underneath a low black top, black stockings and gorgeous black stiletto heels.

The manager of the shop was a stunning young woman. We discussed my background and she said, “I like your look. When can you begin?”

The next Monday was my debut night. No training in how to work, no idea or opportunity to screen the gent if he came through the outer door. A dangerous part of the city. On my own, I decided to offer something more upscale. I carted in crystal glasses, Perrier, my own music, candles and an elegant wardrobe.

My first client that evening resulted in a profit of $100. When money is tight, that is a big deal. But even more importantly, I absolutely loved what I was doing. I felt I’d found my calling.

To shorten this, I stayed three weeks, the management thrilled that I was making money for them during the slowest hours. Jealousy amongst the daytime girls set in and it was time for me to go. Lies were spread. Thankfully, I had met the sales manager of the local adult magazine and he directed me to the world of internet escorting. I did my research and three weeks later, my first ad appeared on Eros. A month later, I resigned from my sales position and the rest of this joyous adventure began.

What It’s Like Being A Mature Escort

It’s enjoyable and it’s becoming more and more common. Some of the top escorts in the world are older women. I get a kick out of being the age I am and being attractive to men of all ages and backgrounds. I’ve visited all over the US, the UK and Ireland. It’s allowed me opportunities I’d never have experienced in my previous life. And….it keeps ME young.

Advantages Of Being A Mature Escort

It’s my observation that we attract a different type of client. One who appreciates a keen intellect, the social ease one achieves from living life, the sexual experience and comfort with herself, rather than only a perfect body and face. I feel we attract the more thoughtful type of gentleman, no matter his age.

What Does It Take To Be Successful In This Competitive Industry?

There’s no doubt it’s highly competitive but I feel the key to success is to be authentically unique and to build your brand upon that uniqueness. Obviously, you must take good care of yourself and your appearance but be happy about who you are.

And like any other successful business, offer consistent exemplary service. If you treat your customer like a king, you’ll always be a queen. It costs nothing to be kind. In the end, everyone wants to be treated with respect and kindness.

Advice For Clients Before Engaging A Mature Escort

That she most certainly knows her own mind so treat her with respect and read her website before you contact her. Being a gentlemen is the key to a wonderful experience.

Anneke Van Buren -A little bit older, a whole lot wiser. Ageless beauty, exceptional skills, a warm heart and a lusty soul. One of whom you will say, “How did she know?” Your mature lover, fetish goddess, sensual domina and confidant with no strings.

Follow Anneke Van Buren on

Twitter: https://twitter.com/Annekenordstrum

Websites:

www.annekepleasures.nl (escort website)

www.annekexposed.com (my personal adult film site)

Instagram: @annekevanburen8357

Skype: Anneke33548

Home base; Tampa, FL Albany, NY

Upcoming tours:

Albany, NY December 3-7

Chicago, downtown, December 8-11

Article images courtesy of Anneke Van Buren

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December 11, 2019
My Experiences As A Sex Worker
I’ve been a sex worker for three years now (the first year I’ve worked as an erotic masseuse only). I think it’s a great job that gives a lot of nice opportunities and has many advantages. I love meeting new people and visiting new places. It’s a very exciting and satisfying job for me. Actually it’s the best job I have ever had.

Working as an escort can be empowering too in many ways and for many women, it can be a way to change their lives for better. However – just like in any other work – you should like what you do. Otherwise it will not be a good job for you.

What I’ve Learnt After 3 Years In The Industry

In October, it’s been three years since I started working as a masseuse and escort. During this time I’ve learned a lot about the industry and people in it. For example, I’ve learned that the industry is more diverse than I could imagine. Before I started working, I thought that you have to be a classic beauty to work and to have clients. Now I see that girls of every type, every age, every size will find their group of admirers. Every girl is different, every girl has something else to offer and that is great.

Another thing that I’ve learned is that the SW community is really amazing. I discovered this after joining Twitter actually. I found out that there are many inspiring providers and clients that share their experiences, talk openly about SW subjects, that support each other and are super super kind to each other. That really surprised me. Being in touch with other sex workers is important. It’s good to have colleagues who have similar job and experiences as you.

And the last thing I’d like to mention – surprisingly, sex work is not all about sex. Clients don’t always meet an escort just to have sex. Many clients (at least from my experience) meet girls mainly to spend the nice time together – go for holidays or have a weekend getaway, talk, go out, be close, hug and kiss a lot and sex is just a nice addition. I was surprised how many men want to meet me just to talk and to have someone that listens to them, that pays attention, that cares about them. Sex is not the only need that you can fulfill while meeting an escort.

Things I Wished I Knew Before Going Into Sex Work

When I started working, I didn’t know a lot about the SW. I wish I had someone to tell me to be more brave and assertive. And maybe someone who would warn me about all the mean things some clients might do, especially when you’re new to the industry (trying to lower prices, trying to make you lose your confidence and doubt about yourself, insisting on having some services done, although you don’t want to do them etc.)

That would have been easier for me just to ignore those clients, if I knew that their behaviours are standard for this type of “clients” and that they have nothing to do with me personally. Anyway, bad clients are a tiny minority. Most of the men are wise, caring, supporting gentlemen who want you to get better, earn better and be happier.

What Should The Industry Improve On?

Sadly, there are still some people in the industry who don’t understand that we are stronger if we stand together. I’ve seen some sex workers who judge other girls for no big reason. I’ve seen some sex workers who are jealous and think they have to fight with each other to get clients and get money.

It’s sad that in a SW community that has many natural difficulties just because of the work that we do, there are still some people who make it harder for the others. I wish things like these can change and I hope people like these can change.

Biggest Misconceptions About Sex Work Today

Although the sex work existed since always, there are still many misconceptions about it. I think it’s mainly because there’s still a sex taboo in us. People are shy or afraid to talk about sex. They still have problems with their own sexuality. They still perceive having sex or masturbation as something they should be embarrassed about.

If people are afraid to talk about sex, they are just terrified to talk about the paid sex. And when they don’t talk about it, they have no opportunity to exchange information and evaluate their knowledge. That way, the stereotypes spread much faster than actual knowledge about sex work. That way we still have those huge misconceptions that everyone thinks or hears from time to time. Let me just show you a tip of an iceberg.
1. Escort girls do the job because they are not smart enough or qualified enough to do any other work.
  WRONG Many escorts do the job because they chose to do it. They’ve had some previous jobs (often government jobs or jobs where you need high qualifications and good education or often they had their own businesses) but after a while they decided that sex work is better for them and that is the work that they want to do for now or for life. Of course, there are women who have difficult life situations and offering sex for money is something that helps them live, something they don’t necessarily like, but they choose to do it, because they have no better alternative. But that is definitely not the case for all of us.
2. Sex work = easy job, easy money.
  Many people think that sex work is an easy work, that you don’t have to know anything, you don’t need any skills and that you basically do nothing and earn a lot of money. That is of course not true. Sex work is not an easy work. Working with people requires a lot of dedication, understanding and empathy. Sex work is a physical work, for which you should have good physical abilities. And it’s an intellectual work too – you must know how to advertise, how to run your business, how to organize your schedule and bookings, you must know how much costs you can afford and how much you’ll be able to earn. You must organize your tours, your photo shoots. You must take care of your website, social media, emails everyday. And after doing all this, you just clear your mind and go for a date and give the client the best experience he can imagine. Working as an escort requires knowledge in many fields. Especially when you do something that needs some special skills, for example massages, BDSM services or when you are focused on working with disabled clients. If you’re an escort, you must be strong mentally, you must be smart, you must be hardworking and you have to be well organized just like every other freelancer. Being an escort is not only laying on soft pillows all day and waiting for a client to come as some people seem to think.
  Of course I’m not trying to say here that the work is super hard or not rewarding. If you like what you do – it’s nice, satisfying and easier. But just not as easy as people think.
3. Being a sex work is something bad.
  This is the most common misconception that makes sex workers stigmatised. I know that everyone has their own morality, but I think some things are just bad or good in nature, no matter how you look at it. Let me put it this simple way:
  Cooking at home is good. Cooking for money is good too.
  Killing people is bad. Killing people for money is bad too.
  Having sex is good. And doing it for money doesn’t make it any worse. It’s just logical. If you have sex because you want to, with an adult person who also wants this, there is nothing wrong about it. Regardless if you do it for free or for money. You may not like the idea of being a sex worker – in that case just don’t be one and don’t hire one. I wish people were more open-minded about sex and sex work. It’s XXI century – it’s really a bit late to still stigmatise sex workers and criminalize sex work (in some countries)… Criminalizing sex work doesn’t make anything better. But maybe that is a topic for whole another article.
Advice For Those Looking To Get Started Into Sex Work

If you think about starting work as an escort, there are many things you should know. It’s hard to list them all here. There are many technical, business and personal tips every experienced sex worker could give.

But from general things, I think you should know that sex work can be a great work. You should only remember to surround yourself with the right people (friends and clients), do only things that are comfortable for you. You should value yourself and not care about mean individuals that you might meet. And always, always, always put your safety first. Don’t lose your head for money. Be safe, have fun, make money, save some for later and enjoy the advantages of an escort life.

Nicole Kaminski – I’m an independent, international escort based in Warsaw, Poland. My speciality are professional sensual massages and Girlfriend Experience dates. I’m an easygoing and friendly person, that you would enjoy spending time with. I love escorting and blogging.

Follow Nicole on

Website: nicolekaminski.com
Email: nicolekaminski@protonmail.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/NicoleNKNK
Instagram: https://instagram.com/nicole_kaminski_companion/

Featured image from Shutterstock

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November 25, 2019
How To Select An Escort For The First Time

I tend to meet a lot of first-timers. That is, gentlemen who have never been with a companion before. I’m always incredibly honoured not only because they chose me for their first date, but that I have the opportunity to introduce them to this wild, wonderful, and complex world.

Nerves is almost always an issue, but it’s not always exclusive to first timer gentlemen. It’s relatively often that when I’m meeting my date for the first time, it’s apparent that he has spent a lot of time anticipating, imagining, and sometimes stressing about our encounter.

Is It Normal For First Timers To Feel Nervous?

Absolutely, first date jitters is completely normal. Given the nature of our encounter, I understand the source. Not only are you meeting someone that you’ve likely admired from afar for months (which is nerve-racking in itself), the stakes are high!

There’s a significant investment on the client’s part, which I try not to take for granted. He’s investing his capital, of course, but also a chunk of his time that’s irreplaceable. In addition to both of these things – there’s also the anxiety provoking stereotypes about escorts that first timer’s sometimes have in the back of their mind. Is she enjoying herself? Is she here because she wants to be?

I encourage my clients to remember that these thoughts are normal and valid. You’re about to enter completely new territory, and your body is reacting, physiologically speaking, in a normal and expected way. It’d be amiss if I didn’t mention that If something feels off, acknowledge that. If there are red flags, take note of them. We should both be doing this in the days leading up to our encounter.

That being said, don’t underestimate the importance of research, and ultimately, trusting your provider. You’re in good hands.

Importance Of Choosing A Good Escort For Your First Time

Researching your provider, and the industry that you’re about to dabble in is important, and comes in various formats.

Firstly, you can peruse various advertising platforms. It’s not just about photos. I always advise reading numerous provider’s copy – their website, and bios. What resonates with you? Who leaves you curious, and wanting more?

Does this provider have social media? Do they promote themselves in a way that’s attractive to you? Do you have similar interests – is your intrigue mounting? Furthermore, do you sense a level of professionalism? Does she appear to have a verifiable reputation?

I think it’s necessary to remember that while physical attractiveness is of course important (and subjective), try not to neglect emotional attractiveness. A name and a photo won’t give you clues about the kind of person you’re meeting, and the experience you’ll have.

My best clients are the ones that paid attention, and did their homework. They read my website in its entirety, took note of my likes and dislikes, followed me on social media, and eventually got to the point where their gut instinct was: “we’re going to get along.”

How A Good Escort Can Calm A Clients’ Nerves

I think a good escort is somebody who has a high level of EQ, and a high sensitivity for empathy. Most of us in this business got into it in the first place because we adore fostering connections. She’s here because she understands people, and all the idiosyncrasies that come along with them, nerves included.

Chances are, we already know you’re nervous.

The beauty of this business is that all of us, while similar in some ways, operate in a completely different fashion. My approach when meeting a nerve ridden client is to somewhat ignore the problem. I personally find that hyper focusing and dwelling on nervousness isn’t the most effective.

Also – I treat my dates like any other first date. We’re here to get to know each other, and we’re both a little nervous. I try to be authentic, transparent, and give genuine compliments if they’re due. I’ll ask thoughtful questions and give you my honest opinions.

As the night progresses, your shoulders might lower, your jaw might unclench, and we might find ourselves laughing and flirting. Usually before the evening’s over, we’ve found a way to connect in a real and sincere way, and all of a sudden, the nerves that we both felt at the beginning are no longer an issue.

Last Tips For First Timer Clients

My biggest tip: trust her.

Nerves are normal, and totally ok. However, that chemistry you’re feeling? It’s very real and palpable.

Try your best not to let anxiousness, self-doubt, and internal worries override the experience you’re having… because it just might turn into something wonderful.

Madison Winter – Madison Winter, Canada’s self-proclaimed ‘girl next door’ is a high-end companion who lives and works out of Toronto, ON.

She’s left a career in finance to become a provider, and now specializes in long engagements and relationship-based dates. In her spare time, she’s usually collecting passport stamps, or at home with her two dogs jamming out to 80’s rock.

Follow Madison Winter on

Website: https://madisonwinterto.com/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/madisonwinterto

Images courtesy of Madison Winter

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November 15, 2019
How Is Sex Viewed In Africa?

Sex is a sensitive, borderline taboo subject in Africa. Most people shy away from publicly (even privately in some instances) speaking about sex, and not just the act itself but also sex crimes and related topics. This attitude is influenced by our cultures and religious conservatism. Dating back, sex was for procreation only and women were not supposed to enjoy sex evidenced by female genital mutilation.

I think sex is something biological and natural that should be enjoyed as consenting adults please.

How Is Sexuality Viewed In Africa?

Majority of Africans are intolerant of the non -conforming sexualities. The general attitude is that there is the right sexuality and the wrong sexuality. As such, one can imagine how violent homophobia is. The legal attitude however, differs in every African nation.

For instance, earlier this year a high court in Kenya upheld a law that criminalises same sex relations citing moral and religious values among others. On the other hand, gay marriage is legal in South Africa while in Botswana, homosexuality was decriminalised as of June this year.

The African Sex Industry

I am of the opinion that sex industries are influenced in part by the legal frameworks regarding sex work in different countries. From such laws, one can draw inference as to how a particular sex industry is. About half of the countries in Africa prohibit it while the other half legalise it but prohibit organised sex work. A few countries legalise and regulate it while others like in Kenya, prostitution is legal but profiting from the prostitution of others is illegal however, some municipal by-laws prohibit it such as Nairobi county.

Is It Tough Being A Sex Worker In Africa?

From what I hear and see, it is tough working where sex work is illegal. That said, even where it is legalised, there is stigma from society. I imagine sex workers who do not have the luxury of being independent face quite a few challenges.

Will Africa Be More Open Towards Sex In Future?

I do. I am positive we as a continent are moving towards a more sexually liberal Africa.

What Is Required For It?

Mass and individual enlightenment. Also, if we are more tolerant to each other.

Calla Lily – I am an African companion based in Nairobi – Kenya. Ever since I can recall, i have always been curious…I have always wanted ‘more’ out of life and myself, qualities that have impacted my life.

My Myers Briggs test says I am ESTJ – accurate. When I am not laughing my jaw off, you will find me engrossed in a book, sewing, binge watching or scrawling in my notebooks.

As an artistic soul, l love all things art…and good food! I plan to go on a world gastronomy tour someday.

Follow Calla Lily on

Tryst link: https://tryst.link/escort/calla-lily

Twitter: https://mobile.twitter.com/meetcallalily/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/meetcallalily/

Photos from Calla Lily

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October 24, 2019
An Insight Into The Life Of A Sex Worker

Sex work gave me my life back. Before working as an escort, I was at risk of losing my home and being unable to continue my studies. My depression was at its worst, my confidence was weak and I felt my life had no direction. These are all things that people would associate with somebody doing sex work but for me, it pulled me out of those lows. It was my saviour.

I think it is very important to make clear distinctions between sex work and trafficking. Trafficking is slavery and is not sex work. That is not what we are talking about here. The narrative must change. I am loved, I am not a drug addict, and I am my own boss.

Photo: http://www.emirparrotta.com

What Made Me Decide To Get Into Sex Work

I started escorting in the beginning for the quick cash when regular working routes failed me. I have two degrees, and studying for my third. I had plenty of experience and am an excellent candidate but the job market can be fickle and I had bills to pay. A friends’ girlfriend was a call girl and he thought I’d do well and could learn from her. She is intelligent and articulate so I met up with her for a coffee, and the rest is history!

Steve Joliffe @ https://www.progressivephotography.co.uk

Was Sex Work What You Thought It Was?

What took me by surprise was how suited I am and in many ways, it’s my perfect career. All my skills fit perfectly and I truly feel satisfied and rewarded as a proud business woman.

Initially, I worried about the dangers. Unfortunately some workers do get attacked, but I have had more incidents and assaults in my personal dating life than anything at ‘work’.

I didn’t realise how kind some of my clients would be and how much I would change their lives for the better. At first, I thought selling sex was about sexual gratification but it is so much more than that. It’s about connection and intimacy, to be touched by another. We are selling escapism and release in more ways than one, not just hand jobs.

Photo: Steve Joliffe @ https://www.progressivephotography.co.uk

Challenges I Face As A Sex Worker

The main challenge I face is the stigma around sex work. Some men don’t want to date me personally for their own insecurities but even some feminists feel we are playing against them. Others think we are dirty or virtueless. We are people, we have lovers, families and friends.

An annoying assumption is that this work is easy or a get rich quick scheme. It is many things but easy is not one of them, and although my business is building, money isn’t the driving force. I continue to do this line of work because I enjoy it. I feel high levels of job satisfaction and maybe one day I’ll be able to buy my own apartment.

Clients are normal everyday men you see in your life. They aren’t all perverts on the edge of society. Husbands, fathers, sons, businessmen. You probably know some without realising it. Many men have paid for sex, but are also worried about being labelled. Majority of whom value the companionship provided with respect and care.

How Competitive Is The Sex Work Industry?

Sex work has given me access to a community of incredible strong supportive women and men whom I now call friends. The industry can be competitive depending on where you work. In every corner of the world, there are various styles and types of sex work, but the community has been incredibly welcoming, uplifting and supportive. We are here together and try to keep each other safe. As much as we are all selling sex, our approach, methods and style are all different giving us our unique selling point. I like to think there is room for all of us.

Steve Joliffe @ https://www.progressivephotography.co.uk

What Clients Should Know Before Engaging A Sex Worker

Clients should know to do some research on their provider before choosing one, simply because we all offer different things. They may need to pass screening and/or pay deposits. They must shower and arrive fresh to their appointment. We are not interested in ‘outing’ them to their families or colleagues – that’s bad for business and discretion is a priority, we just want to keep safe and have a good time.

Kate Bouvier – High-Class Escort offering companionship bookings to distinguished gentlemen in Madrid, Spain. A proud Sex Worker, passionate about ending violence against women and keeping the community safe, Kate speaks openly to end stigma around the profession.

Whether you are seeking a dinner date or attending a work function, British Kate genuinely adores meeting new people and would love to accompany you for the evening during your trip. Or perhaps you are a companion yourself, Kate would love to hear from you to share stories over a glass of wine.

Follow Kate on

Website: katebouviermadrid.com

Twitter: @katebbouvier / https://twitter.com/katebbouvier

Blog: https://katebouviermadrid.com/blog/

Online Boards: https://massagerepublic.com/female-escorts-in-madrid/kate-high-class-companion

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October 20, 2019
What Itʼs Like To Be A Courtesan

I am a former exotic dancer, burlesque performer and now courtesan. All of these professions are forms of sex work. This umbrella term is used in academia and in our community to push the agenda that sex work is real work. Those in our community should have the same rights and freedoms of any other person in a working profession in Canada. My 13 years in this line of work happened organically. Itʼs been fruitful and Iʼve enjoyed it for the most part.

Unfortunately, the 2015 law regarding sex work in Canada, states that all sex work is exploitation. Under this guise, the government exacerbates the stigma that sex workers have no agency over our bodies or our futures. It conflates sex work with sex trafficking and creates an environment thatʼs harder to make a living.

What I Love About Being A Courtesan

I love discovering peopleʼs hidden desires. Often, I know the sensual side of a person that no one else gets to know. I take this privilege seriously. Iʼve known some clients in this business for a decade, and they are my friends and confidantes. As well as lovers. Being a conduit for someoneʼs desires has given me the ability to live my life as an artist. I consider my clients patrons of the arts.

Misconceptions Often Heard About Courtesans

Conflating sex work with sex trafficking does not help those who are sex trafficked because it takes resources away from searching for the real perpetrators of trafficking. Even the name of the new act (The Protection of Communities and Exploited Persons Act) that governs laws around sex work intentionally conflates all sex work with trafficking.

Often, police conflate migrant sex workers as trafficked. Taking sex work from them does not save them or their families back home. It hinders their ability to make a living. If the government really wanted to “save” sex workers, they would not conflate these two situations.

Challenges Facing Sex Workers & Courtesans Today

In 2013, the Supreme Court made a landmark ruling of Bedford vs. Canada. This hard fought case proved laws governing sex work unconstitutional. This gave us hope that we would have the same rights as all other workers in Canada: the right to keep a place of business, the right to speak openly about how much our services cost, a right to have people working for us for security and safety.

But the Harper government reversed the rules. Selling sex is now protected under the law. But buying sex is now illegal. This slight of hand decision propagates the stigma that sex work is forced and shameful. Our work now is to undermine this attitude within our society.

Will The Situation Get Better?

After the Bedford ruling, I had hope. But itʼs clear that the topic of sex work is something politicians donʼt want to touch with a ten foot pole. Keeping the status quo of sex work being oppression and harmful keeps us underground and in the dark. We keep fighting for our rights, but the political climate in this country is dismal.

Advice For Aspiring Sex Workers

Sex work is sometimes a last resort for people who are just surviving and a first choice for others with the privilege to work in safety and comfort. In any case, itʼs important to know the stigma is real, in health care, in social situations, in trying to run your business. Iʼve been banned from crossing into the States because US border patrol is actively seeking out sex workers entering the States, and charging us with “moral turpitude”. My charge is the same as a rapist, a murderer or a child molester trying to enter the country.

I would suggest anyone with the privilege of choosing this profession to get acquainted with their local community of sex workers and allies. Maggieʼs of Toronto is a good resource centre and Stella in Montreal. There are also online boards such as PERB TERB and CAERF (Canadian Escort Review Forum) that have sex worker led engagement. Many of us follow each other on social media, although itʼs getting harder to find those in the industry because of censorship of bodies and sexual content online.

I truly believe that strong community engagement ensures youʼre aware of the mores and practices that are acceptable in your work. It can keep you safe and keep you grounded. In this political climate, we must protect each other. Find like minded people and support them. Building community is paramount.

Veronica Sway – Adult entertainer to like-minded heathens and savvy deviants. Film performer and libertine concierge. Your connection to the Toronto underground. And available to meet across Canada.

Follow Veronica on

Website: www.veronicasway.com

Twitter: https://twitter.com/msveronicasway

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/veronicasway/

Just finishing editing my latest Veronica Sway short: Second Wave Love. This one is about the sex doll brothel debacle that happened last year in Toronto. Itʼs funny and a cautionary tale. You can check out my other fun videos at Veronica Sway on Vimeo.

Photos courtesy of Veronica Sway

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September 26, 2019
Why It’s Okay For Men To See Sex Workers

With or without sex work as a job choice, I would say sex is an avenue of self discovery. I learned how to be more assertive, how to appreciate differences and how vulnerable yet liberating it could be to open yourself up to another person. I’m not a touchy feely kind of person – deep emotional interaction is my idea of hell. I’m not good with emotions, I don’t enjoy sharing mine and I don’t seek out ways to connect with others on that level. So, through sex, I’ve learned how to express feelings physically and it is a very healthy outlet for me.

Sex can be whatever you make it to be and I don’t know that enough people make use of that. It doesn’t have to be an act of self destruction, or dirtiness or simply for pleasure. If you have a sexual partner who is willing to experiment and teach and learn with you then sex can actually be a very, very powerful and very personal development tool.

Reasons Men Visit Sex Workers

I hear all sorts; wife is pregnant/menopausal/absent right through to breakups and exploring fantasies. Some wives and partners know about their male counter parts seeing escorts (some even book in for them) which I’ve always thought was quite nifty. When girls train with me, I like to remind them that they should never judge their clients based on their marital status. We don’t know whats going on in their lives and its not for us to pry.

As a sensual masseuse, I’ve found that most of my clients with partners use massage as a way to have intimacy again in their lives, to feel validated and wanted or simply just to have a human moment of total self indulgence where the entire world is just focused on them and their needs.

Common Misconceptions About Sex Workers

1. We are going to steal your man.

I’ve been in this position a few times where friends have suddenly become concerned that I might seduce their partners. Bluntly put, sex workers are not usually after your men. We get paid to have men in our lives, a freebie for the sake of it is not high on our list of priorities.

2. Sex workers are riddled with STD’s.

In New Zealand, sex workers legally have to provide services safely. This means condoms, gloves, dental dams and so on. We are aware of what could go wrong and what having and STD could mean for us, our partners/family and work.
Compare this to a person in a club, drunk, sleeping around, forgetting condoms thinking the morning after pill will sort out any accidents, sharing drinks, kissing everyone they deem attractive…

Why It’s Okay For Men To Visit Sex Workers

As long as they are not getting emotionally attached I think it’s a very safe and therapeutic indulgence. It’s a period where you are told you can not answer your phone, you aren’t being harassed by kids/family/partners/colleagues, and you can just pretend that the world spins for you and you alone. You can safely explore new fetishes or fantasies without worrying you will harm a relationship or opinion of you because sex workers are completely removed from your ‘real’ life. It’s an avenue for stress relief. It’s a moment of non-threatening human contact.

I do have clients who feel guilty for seeing us and I try to get them to understand that it’s ok to look after yourself in whatever way works best for you. I truly understand monogamy and that not all partners are open to it but at the end of the day, if a visit to a sex worker is what is going to keep your mental and emotional health in check then not a single person has any right to tell you it’s wrong. We all have our ways of coping with life and that is something to be respectful of, not something to be controlled. Happiness is not an illicit substance.

What Men Should Know Before Seeing One

1. Do your research. Check out forums with reviews, ask other punters for opinions, call said sex worker or her agency to make sure you know what is on offer and the limitations. If you are in anyway uncertain of someone, book elsewhere.

2. Please for love all things be hygienic. This is a very up close and personal experience. Brush your teeth (or go to the dentist – we all need our check ups) and gargle with mouth wash. Wash under your foreskin and your bottom. Then wash it again. Aim not to have body stubble – It really hurts. I’m a fan of manscaping. You would be surprised how many men have pubes longer than their penises. Long pubes get in the way of everything.

3. Come prepared and communicate. Sex workers are awesome and some of us are pretty intuitive, but we aren’t mind readers. If you are fast to the finish line, occasionally cant even make it to the finish line, are in a weird headspace or want something in particular, tell us. It’s better when we are both on the same page. Bring some extra cash to tip or use for additional services if you think its something you want to explore.

4. Respect our boundaries. Just because you have opted to tell us your life story, it does not mean we are obligated to tell you ours. If a woman says no, she means no. Irrespective of location, level of undress or profession – consent is sexy! Don’t be that guy who thinks that a grope is acceptable because she’s a sex worker. Unwanted physical contact is still sexual assault.

5. Go in with an open mind. Don’t over think it. It may be very different to what you expected and 9 time out of 10 thats a really, really good thing.

Lacey – A multi-award winning sensual masseuse residing in Auckland, New Zealand. Care-taker/operator of Debonairs.

Follow Lacey on

Website: LuvelyLacey.co.nz

Debonairs: debonairs.co.nz

Twitter: https://twitter.com/LuvelyLacey

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/luvelylacey/

Featured image from Shutterstock

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September 24, 2019