What do you do when you’re 23 years old and want to try BDSM?

You come and see me!

Last night I saw a young guy, just 23 years old who wanted to try BDSM. He wanted to try a fantasy and had been too scarred to tell his partners what he wanted. The fear of being mocked or judged for having these fantasies was, I think, one of the reasons he came to see me. The other of course is that he knew from my website that he would be safe, that he wouldn’t catch anything and that I wouldn’t hurt him in anyway.

I know how he feels, in fact I did the same thing 20 years ago when I wanted to try out this Bondage, Discipline, Sado-Masochistic (slave / Master could also be substituted here). A safe environment is so important to being able to relax and then enjoy a session of this sort.

Just like the main character in 50 Shades of Grey, the torment that goes through a submissive’s head prior to a session can be anything from amazingly intoxicating to excruciating nervousness. I could tell this boy was terrified when he arrived, his eyes showed a mix of rampant sexual energy as well as complete terror.

His fantasy was around being verbally humiliated and sexually dominated.  Having a fantasy around being verbally humiliated is something that is hard to come to terms with. Verbal sexual/erotic humiliation, putting someone down or shaming them is a challenge for me.  However, I understand when someone comes to me with this fantasy, I need to hold space for them and allow them to explore this. I also have found that in this humiliation there is often a deepness that triggers the person to actually heal themselves from shame, fear or guilt that they may be harbouring.

So when someone does come to see me with a desire for erotic humiliation, I am glad that I can assist. My hope is that their session gives his/her the feelings and sensations that they are craving in a safe, sane and supported environment.

Definition of Erotic Humiliation from Wikipedia:

“Erotic humiliation is the consensual use of psychological humiliation in a sexual context. Whereby one person gains arousal or erotic excitement from the powerful emotions of being humiliated and demeaned, or of humiliating another; it is often, but not always, accompanied by sexual stimulation of one or both partners in the activity. The humiliation need not be sexual in nature; as with many other sexual activities, it is the feelings derived from it that are sought, regardless of the nature of the actual activity. This is usually a feeling of Submission for the person being humiliated, and Dominance, for the person doing the humiliation. It can be verbal or physical, or in private or public. Often it can become ritualized, and unlike some sexual variations it can also be easily carried out over a long distance (as online). Humiliation is an example of the power dynamic that exists in a D/s or M/s relationship. E.g. In an activity such as spanking, the sought effect is primarily the humiliation; the activity is just a means to that end.”

If you’d like to explore erotic humiliation or BDSM, feel free to contact me via my website: aaronjking.com

This article has been republished with permission from Aaron King.

Please visit Aaron’s website  to view the original post and more of Aaron’s works.

 Featured image courtesy of Shutterstock
Have an amazing experience or tips you like to share on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!