I am worried of premature ejaculation and was wondering if masturbating in private before sex will help me last longer and avoid this embarrassment?
Many men do masturbate before sex in order to last longer when they are with a partner. If that works for you, then by all means please do what works. But I would also like to encourage you to stop worrying. If you have a more relaxed attitude toward sex and don’t approach it like something you need to “perform,” you are more likely to last longer and enjoy sex more.
If premature ejaculation continues to be a problem I recommend you consult with a professional sexologist who can help you explore the many possible causes and solutions. There are in fact many reasons premature ejaculation can occur. Likewise, there are many possible solutions. Even one session with a certified sexologist could provide you with the insights you need to vastly improve your sex life!
Veronica Monet, ACS, CAM is a Relationship Coach, Certified Sexologist and Anger Management Specialist. You can schedule your session via Skype or telephone by emailing her at Veronica@TheShameFreeZone.com. Follow her website on www.TheShameFreeZone.com
I used to be so repressed when it came to sex. I really craved it all the time, but thought that it was shameful and hid it. Women weren’t supposed to be sex-crazed. Well, I decided that was bullshit. There is nothing wrong with being comfortable with your sexuality. Sex doesn’t have to be romantic (though romantic can be fun!), nor does it have to be serious, nor does it even need to be meaningful. It’s just something most of us enjoy, and there is no shame in that.
Photo: Dolly Leigh
Unsatisfying Sex
I feel like when someone makes it only about themselves, it’s going to be unsatisfying. And yeah, I’ve had that happen. I’ve also had sex where my partner came way too fast–or instantly, in one case. But those experiences weren’t always unsatisfying. There are other ways to satisfy me than simple PIV sex, so even if that ended early, there’s always fingering and oral!
Common Mistakes Guys Make?
Not enough foreplay! Getting hard and just wanting to pop it in without any warm up is just… unpleasant. I mean, it doesn’t always feel bad, but it’s going to be a lot hotter if you grab her, rub her clit, and slide some fingers in beforehand (and maybe some choking, slapping, and dirty talking in her ear).
Fingering is also where guys mess up! If she’s not wet yet when you’re trying to rub her, spit on your fingers (or get her spit on them). Pay attention to how her body reacts. If she’s not feeling it, change what you’re doing, and be gentle with the clit at first! What I think is super hot is not going for her pussy right away. Move your hands lower and lower while you kiss on her. Let your fingers trace her inner thighs. Build up the anticipation! Rub the outside of the panties first (if she has them on). It’s a bit gentler on the skin honestly, and it makes her crave more. See if you can soak her panties this way! Finally, when you’re ready, start exploring under the panties and slip inside her.
Make Me Orgasm Through Oral Sex!
If a guy is going to go down on me, I want to be excited. If there’s been no build up, it just feels uncomfortable (especially when it’s dry). There are a few things that can get me excited (it varies depending on the person, so keep that in mind). Be forceful with me! Grab me from behind, slap my face, choke me, grope me, rub my pussy. Pick me up and throw me on the bed, the couch, or set me atop a counter (my favorite). Push my legs apart, kiss and nibble on the insides of my thighs, and then you can go for it. Build up is everything!
When it comes to the actual oral itself, you want to start off slowly and gently. Don’t go full blast from the beginning. Slow licks encircling the clit, some gentle flicks. A few sucks here and there. You can go heavier when excitement starts to build up. And then insert a finger or two (more later) and make a pulling motion with it, a “come hither” if you will. Alternate between licking/sucking the clit and rubbing it with your thumb. See the reactions, keep doing what feels good but change it up a bit, too. Switch between a few things with good reactions. It might take awhile, so don’t put on pressure to cum.
It’s not gonna happen if you seem to be bored/annoyed at how long it’s taking. If you expect your dick sucked for however long, you can eat pussy that long, too. Also keep in mind, orgasming isn’t always the goal. It can be a great time without an orgasm. Obviously orgasms are great, but if it doesn’t happen, don’t take it as a blow to your ego.
There’s Always Orgasms From Sex…
Orgasms aren’t going to happen if you’re lying there like a limp fish grunting, sorry. How to do cowgirl right: the work isn’t all on her. Grip her hips, bounce her on you. Smack her ass, tell her how hot she looks riding you. When you’re ready, pick her up, put her in whatever position you’re craving.
One I really love is when the guy stands carrying the woman with her legs wrapped around him, his hands on her butt bouncing her on his dick. Honestly it feels amazing, but I know it takes a lot of strength and stamina so don’t feel bad if you can’t manage it! It might be easier if you pin her against the wall while you do this (which is hot in of itself).
Obviously doggy is great if she’s into it, and I think it’s pretty hard to screw up. I think it’s generally a safe bet, but ONLY doing it can be pretty boring, and sometimes it’s hard to look back and I think eye contact makes things a little more intense.
Want to know what I think is hot? Fucking her against the counter in the bathroom where the both of you can see your reflections. I’ve only done this once, actually, but it was an experience I will NEVER forget. Seriously, go for it! Just don’t feel like you have to limit yourself to pre-set positions. Try new things out!
Changing up the scenery is really fun, I think. If all you’re ever doing with your girl is fucking her on the bed, sorry, it’s going to get old. Counters, tables, bouncing her on your lap while you sit on the couch, even the floor! Shower sex can be hot if you’re VERY careful. Get one of those shower handles (or two) so you can both grip on and reduce the possibility of falls. If you can find a secluded spot, fuck outside.
Ask her what her fantasies are, tell her what yours are. What one person might be into can be so different from someone else. Talk about it beforehand. Discuss limits, ESPECIALLY if you’re doing anything kinky. Talk about it during sex itself, let her know you love hearing how she likes it and what she wants to do next. Always pay attention to facial reactions. If she doesn’t like something, chances are her face will show it. Whisper filthy things in her ear. Some women won’t like it. Again, pay attention to her facial reactions! Other women will tremble with desire from it. Really, the number one sex tip is communication! And if you cum before her, that’s fine! Ask her if she’d like it if you fingered her or went down on her. I dated a guy who didn’t last all that long, honestly, but he could still get me off and I really appreciated it. If she doesn’t want it, that’s fine, too. If she really can’t cum from penetration, rub her pussy while you fuck her or let her use a vibe. Even if she can cum from penetration, these things still feel nice.
In summary, change it up! Put effort in! And always, ALWAYS, remember that communication is key.
I’m Dolly, and I’m a cam-girl turned porn princess living in Bay Area who’s particularly into power-exchange as a sub-leaning switch exhibitionist (sorry for the mouth-full). In my free time I like to game, read, and eat–both food and women. I frequently model for fetishpros.com.
Featured image courtesy of Shutterstock Have an amazing experience or tips you like to share on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!
I like to have sex with my girlfriend during her period, but have yet to let her know about this fantasy of mine. Does it make me weird and is it a fetish?
If you do a search online for “blood hounds” you might stumble upon different articles and forums discussing the experience of receiving sexual pleasure from having sex with a partner who is on their period. There are apparently whole groups of (mostly) men who enjoy this experience or even specifically “seek out” women who are on their periods to have sex with them.
So you ask “does it make me weird?” and I would say “yeah, maybe!” but only because this is not considered in our current society to be a totally generic, “normal” turn-on, which essentially makes it a fetish. That being said, there are apparently many other weirdos out there enjoying this fetish as we speak!
A side note to this conversation is the issue of safety since, when blood is involved, risk for disease transmission increases greatly. So, make sure you have both been tested, are knowledgeable of each other’s health status, and acknowledge the risk of genital, skin, and mouth contact with blood and the possibility of ingesting blood if oral sex is involved.
If you want to talk about this particular fetish with your girlfriend (which I think you should), I would approach it by asking her if she is comfortable having sex while she is menstruating. Find out where her comfort lies first and then tailor your conversation towards acknowledging your interest and your desire.
You can make a judgement about how you want to frame it – telling her you are “turned on” by having sex with her while she is on her period may sound more comfortable then saying you have “a fetish.” Once consent has been established and risks have been acknowledged, enjoy!
Elizabeth is a Clinical Psychologist and psychotherapist in Washington State. She provides therapy and consultation to individuals and couples and is working to become an AASECT-certified Sex Therapist. Her primary interests are romantic and sexual relationships, sexual empowerment and education, the dynamics of communication, and reducing stigma around issues of sexuality and mental health. Get in touch with Elizabeth via email at drelizabethwatt@gmail.com.
I’m a bit of a masochist and definitely submissive. But, I’m a strong submissive, so I’m attracted to soft dominant types and they compliment me the best when it comes to a relationship. A soft dominant would be a man (or woman) who enjoys inflicting pain and asserting their dominance in bed, but are generally gentle and kind as people outside of the bedroom. A strong submissive would enjoy enduring a dominant’s desires, but generally has a more assertive personality in all other matters. You get the idea.
I don’t consider too many things that I do as kinky, because for me, it’s just normal. I once heard someone say that ‘swallowing’ was a kink, but for me that was always just natural for me do to. I’ve tried anal a couple times. As it is, I’m not a huge fan, though obviously I couldn’t have thought so bad of it or I wouldn’t have tried it more than once. I really like having risky sex such as giving head on the road and doing a quickie outdoors. I have an assortment of fetishes. Some, as mentioned, are related to BDSM and others are not.
What I Like A Guy To Do During Sex
There are times I like it when he is dedicated to trying to get me off first, and others when we both know that he needs to get his rocks off. It depends on the chemistry between us. When the sex is meant to meet my needs first, I like when he dirty talks to me and changes position until he can see (or hear) which one feels the best. The important thing about that is to stay there, unless my climax is purposely being denied. Then that’s hot. I love when he teases me with his hard-on by pressing it against me or slapping me in the face with it, and forcing me to take his length when I go down on him until I gag a bit. Having my clit tended to by him pressing or rubbing it while he pounds me is bomb. But, more than that, I love to start out by flirting and taking intuitive myself. Putting myself on top is also a sure way to make it fun for me when I’m in that sort of mood. That way, I get the best view of his sex faces. Sex faces that arise despite his best intention to control himself. There is something amazing about that.
When it comes to the more primal sex on his part, (the sex where his needs are met first) I love to be bent over spontaneously on some piece of furniture – a counter, a chair arm, a dresser, then let him go at it until he’s done. Sometimes this isn’t the best option, except I can’t help but loving the idea of a guy taking his frustration out on me in that way.
Tips To Kink Up Your Sex Life
I would suggest exchanging any fetishes you may have. Think of ways they can be incorporated.
Watch some porn for inspiration.
Try to push your boundaries in order to make your fantasies real.
Remember to bring it up with your partner before you take initiative.
Don’t be too disappointed if your attempts don’t work out the way you wanted them to. After all, we all start out awkward in most things.
20 year old Cam Model and erotic content creator. In social media, I go by the alias MoonConjured but am more personally known as Alira Latex. I’m a visual artist by aspiration and admire all practices of creativity. Follow me on Twitter@MoonConjured, Instagram@MoonConjured, ManyVidswww.ManyVids.com/MoonConjured and Chaturbatewww.Chaturbate.com/MoonConjured.
Featured image courtesy of MoonConjured Have an amazing experience or tips you like to share on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!
I lost my virginity at a young age and it wasn’t as fun as I thought, and didn’t like the experience. Since then, I’ve had no interest in sex even when in relationships and it has been almost 8 years since my first time. Will I ever feel the want to have sex again?
You certainly can reclaim your desire and erotic joy in the wake of this difficult experience. But you are not likely to just spontaneously feel a desire to have sex again without consciously working on it.
When the nervous system is impacted by trauma, it will often shut down the arousal system to manage distressing effects. The good news is that the nervous system is always growing and changing in response to life experiences, so if you can start to provide your body with some safe, slow, joyful awakening touch, your desire can start to come alive again.
Go slowly, stay attuned to the needs of your body and spirit, and practice with yourself. It is so joyful to welcome erotic energy into our bodies and our lives, and know there is nothing you need to do with it and no one you need to share it with until you choose and you feel ready. If and when you want to explore erotic pleasure with another person, choose a safe and trusted person who will listen to you and guide you to listen to yourself.
Remember you can stop at any time during an erotic encounter. The most important thing is that you feel you can choose, at every step along the way. Your nervous system will only be able to develop a capacity to feel erotically alive again in an environment of safety and ongoing choice.
I’d like to try and get my partner to consider anal rimming, but how can I convince her and make it sound less terrifying?
Before you ask your partner to consider anything, there are some things for you to consider. There is still quite a bit of taboo surrounding analingus or anal-oral sex, particularly in the heterosexual community. It’s true that anal sex is increasingly seen as a sexual option by heterosexual couples, and has very much made it’s way into mainstream sexuality – the anus is absolutely a sexual organ for everyone. Much of the ‘ickiness’ we get from butt play is socially and culturally ingrained, and some people find this easier to overcome than others.
There are several things you can do to make rimming more appealing to your partner.
Groom your arse:
This is will make things aesthetically ‘less terrifying’, and help keep you clean. I won’t paint a picture of how bad things could be, but people generally prefer not to fight through a stinky arse-bush with only their tongue just to smooch a dirty pucker-hole. The first step to a potential ass-eating is accessibility, so make sure that arse is waxed or shaved.
Consider your hygiene:
Prior to the potential arseplay, be sure to shower, and clean your arsehole with a mild soap. If you’re only engaging in non-penetrative play you can simply use as finger to gently stretch and rinse around and just inside your hole. If you have ideas for penetration, it’s nice to empty your bowels as much as possible prior to play, as this is when the lower colon is at it’s cleanest. Anal douching (enemas) can also be a great tool for cleansing – they’re relatively inexpensive and absolutely add an air of confidence to the cleanliness.
Protected Sex:
Rimming is sex. Unless you are a fluid-bonded couple (one that shares semen, vaginal fluids or blood) it is always best practice to use protection. For analingus, dental dams are the official recommendation of almost every safe-sex advocate, but unlike condoms, dental dams can be difficult to find; they’re also ridiculously overpriced. In a pinch, you can DIY a dental dam two ways: by cutting a length-wise slit in a condom, and opening it out into a rectangle; or cutting out the palm from a disposable latex glove. Disposable gloves are good to have on hand for any anal play – they aid in protection, fun, and easy clean-up.
Start slow:
Rather than asking your partner to actually put her mouth on your arsehole, suggest she use her breath to caress it. Help her out by using your own finger to touch yourself, and show her that YOU’RE not afraid of your own body. Work together on some pleasurable sensations, and let her see your enjoyment. Allow her the time to explore this new experience at her own pace, while enjoying it for what it is.
Let her begin with her lips on your thighs or buttcrack, and try not to be thrusting too eager an arse at her. You will need to be prepared to exercise patience, and even some understanding if things don’t go as you’d like.
Talk:
Listen to her worries and/or fears. Do what you can to address them. Discuss your sensual and sexual desires openly, and find out exactly what she is comfortable with. Ask about her sexual desires, and find out where you mesh. Show her this article.
Do keep in mind everyone has their limits. For some people, analingus will just never be something they want to explore, and finding ways to ‘convince’ them to try it is not advisable. Find opportunities to negotiate – if analingus is a hard limit, perhaps there are other forms of anal play you can both find mutually satisfying.
MisKnickers is a Melbourne-based writer and educator with over twenty years professional experience. As someone who loves variety (identifying as a gender-fluid, pansexual, switch!) MisK’s passions are always changing, but her strong sense of justice keeps her committed to the sex-positive movement and striving for sexual and gender equality. Read the rest of her profile below and follow her on Facebook and Twitter!
The shameless expression of sexuality and the act itself has been, for many places and eras throughout history, deemed as a forbidden fruit. And while admittedly, that can be part of its charm, (like all things that are considered naughty) I truly do love it best when it is an outspoken subject. Even though not everyone can relate to loving sex, or to finding power in it, there’s almost nothing more enlightening to me than “breaking through” the barriers inside myself; the ones that were created by the society in which I grew up in; to find peace and normality in its subject. And with that, to find artistic beauty and euphoria in your own body and in your pleasure, as well as in the body and pleasure of other people. Because after all, not everyone is cut out for reserving their sex life to a shadowy, private bedroom where only one pair of eyes will ever get to see what you have to offer. If that’s your cup of tea, great. But for others, that is like fitting squares into circles.
I would say that I’ve had quite a lot of sex for my age, and have definitely been fortunate with my partners in that department. I look back at my past and present sexual experiences with a vast amount of fascination. The alchemy that I create with my partner is often the marque of the relationship. It’s not the foundation, but it has always been the cherry on top. Sex is awesome. I feel a great deal of empathy for it, especially when it is expressed artistically. It fills your brain with natural chemicals that demand for you to block out the world and concentrate on chasing desire until it surrenders. Or it can just be plain beautiful. You can have a bad relationship, but you can never have bad consensual sex. I – for one – would never want to allow that.
My First Time
It was two months before my sweet sixteen. As the moment ensued, I remember knowing that I was confident and ready. It was not my first opportunity, but it was the one I felt most ready for. It was a relinquishment of sorts, not planned and yet not exactly freely given either. I just knew that I wanted it to happen, very much. Recalling his facial expression upon feeling how narrow my hymen was around him is my favorite part of the whole thing. Yet I almost laugh now thinking about how awkwardly I had performed – in a way that definitely made my inexperience obvious, of course. But I had been looking forward to it, ever since I knew what sex was. One detail in following through with its action I want to mention is that it was intentionally done as a one night stand. I know him somewhat, but there are and never were any strings. The reason for this is because I feared the thought of someone thinking that they owned my heart and my life just because they had popped my cherry. I didn’t want to be thought of as being sexually meek and easily stuck-on, but someone who was confident in themselves. And that if someone wanted a relationship with me, it would be because they wanted me for who I was, not because my sexuality had only belonged to them. That was an important point that I went out of my way to make for myself. It was not a point to be promiscuous all the time, because I never really was. Simply put, it would allow me to seek out something more emotional afterwards without having that fear. It was the right decision for me; not right for everyone.
I remember that it hurt to an extent despite the gentleness, and that it was obvious that I didn’t quite know how to move or please him – at least, no where near pornstar level. My hymen area and inner muscles felt so numb that there were times I wasn’t sure if he was even inside (but don’t get me wrong, his size was considerable). It mostly felt like an enormous amount of pressure which left me breathless and excited. No regrets there, except for one – that I can’t have it happen again!
Then after a parting hug, I immediately experienced a really strange feeling. The anxiety that had been within me was enveloped by a calm atmosphere in the room. I felt powerful and in control. Content. Like there was a giant weight lifted off my shoulders, or a huge amount of knowledge that I had inevitably discovered and was letting settle. It’s difficult to put a finger as to why that happened, but it was mesmerizing.
With Experience And Practice…
This is obvious, but it becomes more and more fun as my skills are honed. Different partners liked different positions, among other things, so with experience I was able to offer a few surprise moves that were pleasantly received. I became more able to make suggestions that my partner might not have ever tried if not for my involvement, such as anal. That is the number one thing that distinguishes myself from how I was then to now. The versatility of the performance, made possible by the knowledge collected from previous experiences.
When it comes to more intimate situations, one would think that I would have it all down and be completely fearless. Sometimes I am, but truth be told with each new partner a bashfulness is reborn – until that person becomes my boyfriend. Or not. I guess it comes with the territory of being more physically inclined than emotionally inclined. My current partner, however, has been able to work some kind of magic on me and has made me much more of an emotional person. This has allowed for a more affectionate kind of sex, with small but powerful bursts of the roughness that I’m used to. So while I have been softened up around the edges, he still makes sure that the sex remains raw and exciting. So even though I thought that I was the one who was going to rock his world and bring him something he never experienced before, maybe the tables got turned on me – and now I am the one who is learning something new.
20 year old Cam Model and erotic content creator. In social media, I go by the alias MoonConjured but am more personally known as Alira Latex. I’m a visual artist by aspiration and admire all practices of creativity. Follow me on Twitter@MoonConjured, Instagram@MoonConjured, ManyVidswww.ManyVids.com/MoonConjured and Chaturbatewww.Chaturbate.com/MoonConjured.
Featured image courtesy of MoonConjured Have an amazing experience or tips you like to share on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!
Sex is such an incredible thing, the variety and types orgasms can be mind blowing. I love having sex, especially with different partners, now don’t get me wrong I have a spouse that I enjoy having sex with, but different partners bring different things to the table.
Does Size Matter?
Well as far as penis size, I’m definitely a believer in bigger is better! I love the feeling of a really thick cock stretching my pussy to its limits! It touches different nerves and brings such a feeling of being full that I’m actually getting wet just thinking about it. LOL. A really thick cock will almost remind me of the first time I had sex as it pushes into my pussy for the first couple of strokes and I almost cum right away.
I’m not overly picky when it comes to shape, but I do prefer a cock that has a little bit of an upward curve to it, it just seems to help stimulate my G-spot better.
Multiple Orgasms
That depends on my partner. I usually like to cum a couple of times, but having back to back orgasms really depends on how well my partner performs. I like having my pussy fucked hard, I’m petite but I’m not going to break damn it!
How To Take In A Huge Penis
Lots of lube if you’re not really wet, and start slow. You kinda have to have a hungry mindset, that you want to take it. By all means don’t force it right away, because a big dick will rip you…
Tips For Men
Don’t be afraid to man-handle your woman a little, I’m not saying smack her around, but pull her hair, grab her by her hips and move her, and TAKE CHARGE! Show her you’re a MAN!
I’m Joy Cummings, I’m 42, 5’8″ about 125lbs, and 36B. I’m also a Size Queen, meaning that I crave large cocks, in particular black ones… lol… I have always craved thick cocks for the most obvious reasons, because they are amazing! I have done a few adult films, and am still stock piling footage for my own site. I’m a very down to earth girl and am quite approachable. So don’t be shy, find me on Twitter@just4joyxxx and say hi.
Images courtesy of Joy Cummings Have an amazing experience or tips you like to share on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!
“I am keen to try new things in the bedroom other than our normal sex routine but she does not. How can I convince her to do so or attempt to try something new?”
I would definitely start with recommending something a little on the softer side if your partner is not too keen on trying new things. For example, instead of pulling out a huge dildo what if you started with some romance to open her up like:
Candles – candlelight is really flattering to women and makes them feel sensual. For an added bonus make sure one of the candles is a soy massage candle. Not only is it great for the light but the wax melts down and can be used for a great massage!
Rose Petals – a dozen roses go a long way. Take the petals off of 6 of them and create a path leading to the bedroom or in front of a fireplace. Scatter them around and make sure there are some lingering on her pillow. She’s guaranteed to feel special!
How about a luscious chocolate mint organic lubricant like no other that is going to knock her socks off? Ever heard of Sex Butter? (http://www.sexbutter.net) Not only will she be ready and willing in minutes and there for the duration – both of you will enjoy the intensified sensation bonus when it comes to the big O!
Bonnie Gayle, Body Image Expert and the Founder of Boudoir Butter & Sex Butter, educates hosts the podcast show on 65 networks, “Body Beautiful” covering feeling comfortable & confident in your body, connecting intimately & stepping into your sexual deliciousness. Bonnie’s believes releasing yourself from body bondage, body and sexual shame and learning to love your self are “an inside job”! Her products, Boudoir Butter & Sex Butter are sexually empowering pleasure enhancements made with organic plant-based oils to inspire your own natural juiciness!
Visit the links in her profile below to her websites and social media!
My girlfriend and I have just recently started having sex, and she complains of the pain every time during penetration. Am not sure if she is too small or if I am too big for her as this is causing some frustration for us. Is there anything we can do?
Pain during intercourse can be caused by a number of factors: hormone levels, pelvic floor health, and built up tension causing painful sensations during sex. There are also two types of pain: acute and chronic. You want to make sure your girlfriend rules out any medical or physiological cause of the pain.
I would recommend she make an appointment with her OB/GYN for a pelvic exam. Pain can be caused by nerve problems, endometriosis, and even medications with sexual side effects (such as birth control, chronic antibiotic use, acne medications, and even antidepressants). If there is no medical concern causing the pain, I would recommend a series of exercises to help your girlfriend feel more comfortable during sex and learn to relax her body, engage her pelvic floor, learn to self-stimulate to build the mind/body connection, and prime her body for pain-free sex.
The first step is to have your girlfriend start self-stimulating and experiencing solo pleasure. Self-pleasure increases blood flow to the genitals, which helps alleviate pain and tightness during sex. It also increases pelvic floor strength that will allow for better orgasms and improvement in partnered sex. The vagina is a muscle that can be stretched and exercised to allow for different sexual activities. If it can stretch and adapt to childbirth, it can accommodate any size of penis during partnered sex.
I would also recommend spending more time on foreplay to ensure she is getting enough time for arousal to take place. It takes a good twenty minutes for a woman’s body to become fully aroused. This state of arousal will allow for more comfortable sexual positions and play while giving her the most pleasure. Take your time during partnered sex and start with using your hands. Caress, rub, and stimulate her body first with hands and fingers.
When you start with penetration make sure she is adequately lubricated and in a comfortable position. Be supportive of your girlfriend as she deals with addressing the pain. It can affect self-esteem and body image. Research shows that the more you focus on the pain, the more intense your perception of the pain. Be supportive and learn to focus outside of sex and intercourse for the time being. I suggest sensual massage, kissing, and outer-course (pleasuring the body outside of the genitals).
Dr. Shannon Chavez is a licensed clinical psychologist and sex therapist with an expertise in female sexual health. She works with women of all ages and backgrounds helping guide them from sexual concerns to sexual empowerment. Read the rest of her profile below and follow her on Facebook at Dr.Shannon.Chavez
