Tag: Sex

How to dirty talk during sex without offending her

I like to have dirty talk during sex but am afraid of getting carried away. Will she be turned off or offended if I started calling her a slut or dirty whore in the midst of it?

Dirty talk can be fun and there are many different forms of it. The type of “degrading dirty talk” you mention – telling your partner they are “dirty” or “a slut” is one type that some people enjoy. Another type of dirty talk can be more “in the moment, descriptive” – saying out loud what you are physically doing to your partner, what you want them to do, what you would like to do to them (“I want to f*ck you so hard, I want to put my tongue there,” etc.).

An essential element when using dirty talk to make sure that your partner won’t be turned off or offended (or potentially traumatized) is to ask for their consent. Before you start engaging physically, mention that you enjoy dirty talk and maybe give an example of the things you like to say. Allow your partner time to consider if this is okay and to let you know if they are into it as well. If they are not comfortable with being called specific things, trying the more “in the moment descriptive” type of dirty talk might be more comfortable.

It’s important to also make it clear that if your partner is uncomfortable at any time during the dirty talk that they can communicate this to you and you honor that by stopping. By “putting it out there” beforehand you are also emphasizing that this is something that turns you on sexually and is not a fundamental truth (i.e. you do not in reality believe she is a dirty whore).

Have a question on your mind related to sex? Send them in to editorial@simplysxy.com!

Elizabeth is a Clinical Psychologist and psychotherapist in Washington State. She provides therapy and consultation to individuals and couples and is working to become an AASECT-certified Sex Therapist. Her primary interests are romantic and sexual relationships, sexual empowerment and education, the dynamics of communication, and reducing stigma around issues of sexuality and mental health. Get in touch with Elizabeth via email at drelizabethwatt@gmail.com.

Read the rest of her profile below.

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April 24, 2016
Can’t Get Wet Enough For A Quickie?

I like to experience and try out a quickie with my boyfriend but I am never aroused or wet fast enough. Will this spoil the experience?

Quickies definitely can be fun however it is going to be so much better for both of you if you’re a little aroused just before. So, I have what I consider my sexy little secret that I love to share which works especially well when it comes to Quickies! Remember, Sex Butter (http://www.sexbutter.net), which I recommended previously? Well I take a dime-sized dab and apply it before I leave every day. Not only do I always feel good, I’m always ready for anything, and it gives me the little “tickle” I need to get me aroused easily! Does it get any better?

http://sexbutter.net/when-the-only-thing-theres-time-for-is-a-quickie/

I also have two videos that may be something of interest.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZiXNnPKO54

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LorgrIlFXRU

Have a question on your mind related to sex? Send them in to editorial@simplysxy.com!

Bonnie Gayle, Body Image Expert and the Founder of Boudoir Butter & Sex Butter, educates hosts the podcast show on 65 networks, “Body Beautiful” covering feeling comfortable & confident in your body, connecting intimately & stepping into your sexual deliciousness. Bonnie’s believes releasing yourself from body bondage, body and sexual shame and learning to love your self are “an inside job”! Her products, Boudoir Butter & Sex Butter are sexually empowering pleasure enhancements made with organic plant-based oils to inspire your own natural juiciness!

Visit the links in her profile below to her websites and social media!

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April 15, 2016
The Ultimate Brain SEX for HER

He captivated me with his words telling me how sexy I was, how sweet my lips tasted as he lightly swept his hand down my side. “Lay still”, he said as he spread my legs and teased my inner thighs with his kisses. “Close your eyes and lay on your back, arch your back for me so I can look at your sexy body”, he said with authority. As I did that, he ran his hand from my foot up between my legs parting them even wider as he softly teased my inner thighs, and kissing my swollen clitoris. I could feel my entire body shaking at this point, wet with anticipation and a longing for him to command me what to do next with his words.

There is nothing sexier than a man with a BIG brain that knows how to use it to turn his partner on. Brain sex can be the ultimate tease for a woman and a sexual advantage for a man that knows just what to say. It is no secret that women get turned on by sexy stories, as any book store can attest to this—just take a gander down the romance isles. Many of these books written for women about romance defiantly have an element of what others may deem as soft porn. With this knowledge at any man’s finger tips, you would think that almost all men have gathered these books, researched them and tried them out on their partners. If it was that easy, every man would have women melting in their hand … RIGHT?

The most difficult task though is how and when you deliver these sexy words to her. Timing and delivery is everything, this is why turning popular books such as 50 Shades of Grey and the Twilight saga from book to screen lost some of its sex appeal. The trick is to know your partner. Each woman is unique in her response to brain SEX and tapping into her sexomoter is the first step. A man that delivers his sexy words with confidence is going to be quite different than a man saying the same words without confidence. Choosing the right moment is as important when you have her full attention and this can be done with a simple text a couple times during the day. As the sun goes down, teasing her as to what you have planned to do to her later that evening will leave her with anticipation. Mental foreplay is a caveat to brain SEX. Lastly, once you have her full attention you can also place a blindfold on her eyes while she listens to you telling her what you want her to do, without any visual distraction. Testing out your techniques on her is part of the fun as well as trying new ways to stimulate her brain leading ultimately to mind blowing sex for the both of you.

Have a question on your mind related to sex? Send them in to editorial@simplysxy.com!

Dawn Michael is a Certified Clinical Sexologist and Intimacy Counselor. Her proven techniques have helped thousands of couples to not only improve their sex lives but the intimacy in their marriage as well. Read the rest of her profile below!

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March 27, 2016
How to Survive a Weekend of Non-Stop Sex

My husband and I are planning for a weekend sexcapade getaway, just staying in the room, enjoy ourselves and have lots of intimacy. Are there any risks such as exhaustion or over exertion to be wary of?

It is so good and important to create this kind of time together. Bravo!

What could be better than to exhaust each other having great sex? And yes there are some precautions. Sometimes when we have lots of vigorous penetrative intercourse, genitals can get abraded and sore, and you can even get a urinary tract infection. So be sure to take it slow and easy, bring lots of lube, and incorporate lots of non-intercourse pleasures into your lovemaking.

This will also be helpful if genitals don’t behave quite as we wish. A man might ejaculate early or stay soft; a woman might not be able to access her arousal or climax. Be easy about it. There are so many ways of accessing physical intimacy and erotic pleasure that don’t depend on having a hard cock and a wet pussy.

Massage, oral pleasures, exploring different parts of the body with communication and curiosity, and a commitment to enjoy warm connected touch are helpful practices for long-term couples.

Have a question on your mind related to sex? Send them in to editorial@simplysxy.com!

Caffyn Jesse is a widely-respected teacher of sexuality. She teaches the Canadian Professional Somatic Sex Educator Training with Dr. Liam Snowdon. She offers a Certificate in Intimacy Education training to advanced students. Read the rest of her profile below!

More resources: Caffyn’s book on Erotic Massage for Healing and Pleasure: http://www.amazon.com/Erotic-Massage-Healing-Pleasure-pioneering/dp/0973833211/ref=tmm_pap_title_0

and her video courses:

Orgasmic Mastery for Men : http://www.erospirit.ca/product/orgasmic-mastery-for-men/ and

Learn Erotic Massage: http://www.erospirit.ca/product/learn-erotic-massage-for-healing-and-pleasure/

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March 21, 2016
How To Ejaculate More

Is there a method or technique to ejaculate more and shoot powerfully like what is shown in porn?

To build techniques around ejaculation one must start with knowing their anatomy.

Map out parts of your penis that respond to different types of touch. Find the most erogenous parts of the penis. Learn to build up sensations and experiment with different strokes and touch. Start with the base of the penis and hold it with one hand while stroking the penis up towards the head in a slow and steady motion. Do this method several times until you feel the urge to ejaculate.

Hold the tip of the penis between your fingertips and squeeze until the urge subsides. This will pause the ejaculatory response and allow a build up of sexual energy before release. Once you do a series of this exercise with multiple repetitions, allow your penis to ejaculate. You will notice you have more ejaculatory control and intense release from the build up.

Another method is to use your PC muscles (pubococcygeus) and squeeze to reduce the urge to ejaculate. You can locate your PC muscles by trying to stop the flow of urine midstream or twitching the penis. The PC muscles are like the brakes of a car. When you want to hit the brakes it allows more ejaculatory control and reduces the urge to release. Use the PC method to build up your muscles by doing a series of short squeezes or longer, stronger squeezes. Both will give the same benefits over time.

Another method is to use the locking method – when you feel that you are about to ejaculate, withdraw the penis until only the head remains in the vagina. Stay calm and still for at least 10 seconds before entering the vagina again. You can do a series of these exercises until you begin to withdraw less and feel more in control of the sensations and build up.

Have a question on your mind related to sex? Send them in to editorial@simplysxy.com!

Dr. Shannon Chavez is a licensed clinical psychologist and sex therapist with an expertise in female sexual health. She works with women of all ages and backgrounds helping guide them from sexual concerns to sexual empowerment. Read the rest of her profile below and follow her on Facebook at Dr.Shannon.Chavez

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March 21, 2016
How To Cum Together At The Same Time During Sex

Sex is the foundation of our existence. Without it none of us would be here. As I grew up, it became natural. A certain habit that I needed to feed, explore and expend. In my opinion the experimentation and search for your ultimate pleasure in this big range of possibilities is a sort of journey trough life. A lot of people don’t get this message.

Sex should be illuminating and extraordinary. It should be the highlight of your day!

Having An Orgasm At The Same Time

If sex would be a story, your orgasm would be the climax. To share this moment with a partner at the exact same moment makes it epic.

The moment I come is the moment the world stops turning. Every muscle in my body goes in an extension followed by little shakes that hit my body like earthquakes, right from my feet till the top of my head. And afterwards I fall away in this relaxed state of mind…for there is only love and peace in my mind at that moment.

When I am able to have this moment with a partner and I feel his body entering this state….It’s insane. It is this very moment of connection that you will not experience with someone else or at any another moment. Since it’s this little unique moment in time together.

Is It Achievable?

I would say that it is more complicated. During a certain moment in sex one of you needs to balance on the edge of coming, creating the time and pleasure of bringing your partner to that same moment. This is the moment you want to explode although you can’t. Since this act demands a high level of control, it is not the easy role to play.

While in masturbation you only need to control your own body. It’s all about informing each other on how far you are. So in my opinion masturbation is way easier.

How Important Is It To Come Together?

For me it makes the difference between casual and exceptional. Important it is!

Tips To Come Together!

Everybody has sex of course on his own way. But If I would have to give any advice it would be this one:

Go slow in the beginning and build it from there; from slow to fast and from soft to a bit harder. Find the rhythm that makes the two of you become one.

Search the right position, definitely when your coming to the moment of coming. To be in the right position is extremely important. You want to explode and then fall into a coma. However, this would not be possible in a position like the suspended scissors.

For this reason I would advise you to go for a position in where there is a connection, preferable a face to face position. You don’t want to miss the moment.

Depending on how well you know your partner, this will make the difference. If you know your partner quite well, you’ll probably know when he arrives at the moment of coming and in this case you may even know what buttons to push to get him/her there.

If you’re having a one-night stand, it’s like searching for something invisible in the dark. Luckily there is one golden rule to help you through; mind the breathing. When his/hers breaths become shorter and faster, you know you’re doing good and you’re probably going for to that elevating moment.

Have a nice fuck!

Damon Heart has been interested in the gay porn industry ever since he was a teenager, but it’s taken a few years for him to decide to make the leap from admirer to participant. Damon manages a night club, so his move into gay porn is a smooth one. He’s versatile in bed, too: with big guys he likes getting fucked, but if he’s with guys his size or smaller he’s up for throwing them around. When we asked him his dream fuck he said: “I don’t do fantasy. I do real.”

Follow Damon Heart on Twitter @Damon_Heart_A, Instagram @damonheart11, and on Facebook Damon Heart, Websites (http://www.lucasentertainment.com/models/view/damon-heart) and contact DAMON.HEART.A@GMAIL.COM

Images courtesy of Damon Heart
Have an amazing experience or tips you like to share on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

March 10, 2016
Tips For Having An Amazing MMF Threesome
I think threesomes are a lot of fun. I prefer FFM threesomes but MMF can be fun if done with the right people and the right way. I am a very sexual gal and I love to play. One on one sex is fun but when you add another person, it just increases the pleasure for everyone. If the chemistry is there, a threesome can be a whole new world that you get to discover. If you are open to the experience and want to learn some new things, I highly recommend threesomes.

Why Are Threesomes So Kinky?

Threesomes are kinky because there are more than two people who are involved. Three different personalities all trying to get on the same level and having sex. So many different thoughts, opinions and idea. So many new things that you will be able to try. MMF threesome can be a lot of fun especially for the girl because she usually gets spoiled. I think another reason threesomes are so fun is because it makes you feel like you are breaking the rules of sex. Most people who think of sex think two people, not three.

The Feeling Of Being Double Penetrated

When I am in double penetration it is a rush. I mean 2 holes being penetrated at once, that is a lot of pounding which causes a lot of happy juices flowing. I think it is super hot and when in a MMF threesome, it is a must.

Great Positions For MMF Threesome?

It is really hard for me to recommend some great positions for a MMF threesome because the ones I have experience were not good. I had a lot of fun, but it could have been better.

The guys need to be comfortable with each other otherwise the threesome does not work very well. They need to realize their swords might cross and not freak out when this happens. A position that is fun to try but is difficult is the female riding one male but not sitting down all way and she lifts her butt up in the air so the other guy can insert his cock in the other available hole.

Another position that works well is the female is on her hands and knees sucking on a cock and the other one takes her from behind.

One other position is one of the males picks up the female, puts her on his cock as she wraps her legs around him and the other male takes the other hole from behind. (this position is difficult but can be a lot of fun if done right).

Tips To Make A MMF Threesome Hotter!

Some tips I could share to make the MMF threesome hotter are:
- Make sure all parties are comfortable with each other and all rules have been discussed before starting.
- Make sure to have plenty of lube especially if you are going to go with DP.
- Just have fun and try to relax. Some of the parties might be tense because it’s a new experience, but if you all relax, things will be so much more fun.
Sex should be fun not stressful.

I am Lady Serra, a new Cam Model and previous Stripper. I love talking about sex. I am a fun very energetic gal who enjoys talking to people and being playful. I love getting attention and giving it too. Follow me on Twitter @LadySerra69_MFC or on MyFreeCams http://profiles.myfreecams.com/LadySerra

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Have an amazing experience or tips you like to share on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!
March 3, 2016
Naughty Places To Have Sex

Of course I love sex… I wouldn’t be an Adult Film Star if I didn’t… I love sex with men, women and myself LOL.

The First Time I Had Sex

I was 16 and with my boyfriend at the time… I really just wanted to lose my virginity because I was the only virgin left out of my friends. I remember we were in his brothers’ bedroom and it just happened, I was thinking that I was going to bleed a lot and be embarrassed but it was only a little. I remember he didn’t last very long either hahaha.

What Makes Me Horny

I like the foreplay to build up to the sex… Kissing, touching, grabbing my booty, squeezing the back of my neck and pulling me in close. I love a man who will go down on me till I’m dripping wet then flip me over and bury his face in my ass. I love very dominant men in the bedroom who take charge and have their way with me but want to please me at the same time.

What Can A Guy Do Make Me Orgasm?

Pin me down and fuck me hard!

Favorite Sex Positions

I like cowgirl and standing doggy but if I’m really into the guy, I like the good ol’ missionary with lots of kissing.

Naughtiest Places I Have Had Sex

I’ve had a lot of sex in very naughty places…. The most daring was probably in a church. The entire time all I could think of was that we were going to jail LOL! I’ve had sex in dressing rooms, a hockey locker room, and I jerked off my ex under the table at a restaurant one time.

My sex life at home is beyond great, it never gets boring! I feel that it’s more freeing and I can be myself, relax and enjoy it.

Richelle Ryan is an adult film star and you can follow her at her website RichelleRyanOnline.com or on Twitter @Richelleryan or Instagram @Richelleryan

Images courtesy of Richelle Ryan
Have an amazing experience or tips you like to share on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

March 2, 2016
Is there no turning back from a cuckold lifestyle?

My husband and I have been discussing about introducing cuckoldry into our relationship. However, if we do, is there no turning back once we start?

No question that introducing cuckoldry in any relationship is not something to be done lightly; you are justifiably concerned about acting on this.

On an emotional level there is indeed “no turning back” once the wife has exercised her rights as a cuckoldress. This is why communication is vital before anything is done and after.

First it is important for both the husband and wife to talk through all of their desires, fantasies, and fears. It sometimes helps to write things down and even draw up a cuckold-contract. This would be a semi-formal agreement that lists boundaries, expectations, rules and requirements for each party.

This type of document also documents the husband’s willingness to be his wife’s cuckold.

Before the wife does anything, the couple should do various “exercises” together to prepare them both for the real thing. One exercise involves using a dildo or other sex toy together, but do so in a way that will be more psychologically challenging for the husband.

To do this, the wife would purchase or pick-out a dildo she likes and give it the name of a man she knows that she find attractive – “Bill”. Then when she is in the mood she should tell her husband that she needs “Bill” to fuck her one evening. After some foreplay with her husband she should take out “Bill” and use it on herself while saying things like “Oh Bill you make me feel like a real woman”. Over the course of days, weeks or months this exercise should be repeated many times and each time, the wife should say things as she enjoys “Bill” that are more intense and/or humiliating for her husband to hear. Eventually the wife should have her husband use the dildo on her while giving her oral sex.

The wife’s first extra-marital experience is an important one and finding the right man for this can be difficult. For the first-time it is often advisable that the husband not be present as the situation might be too intense for him and his presence would inhibit or spoil things for the wife.

Have a question on your mind related to sex? Send them in to editorial@simplysxy.com!

Steve is a middle-aged husband and father living in the northern US. By day he works as a technical analyst/project manager for a large company by night he explores the depths of alternative sexual lifestyles – mostly involve female-led relations.

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February 29, 2016
Rape Fantasies: Does It Mean Anything?

I have a forced/simulated rape fetish although I have never told anyone or tried it with my current girlfriend. Am I normal?

Rape fantasies are very common, across genders. In fact, most things that are taboo are common fantasies. Specifically, giving up power and taking power are common themes in many sexual desires and fetishes.

Finding these things arousing does not mean you want to hurt people or be hurt by them. Taking power allows us to feel potent, in control, larger than life. It allows us to determine the course of someone else’s experience. It allows us to feel strong and powerful. Giving up power allows us to release, to surrender, to feel small and insignificant. It allows us not to be in control, not to make decisions.

All of these desires are human, common, and normal. Everyone craves some or all of them sometimes. The key is to venture into these territories consensually. When it’s what we want, all of these experiences release endorphins and feel pleasurable. They build trust between the partners and deepen the bond.

As for you, you have options: If it feels too scary to address with your girlfriend, you could keep these desires strictly private. Nothing wrong with that. You can enjoy them by yourself.

Or you can let her in on your fantasies. Given that rape and sexual violence are real sources of fear and hurt for many women, your empathy and consideration is important. You can share your desires as part of a more general sharing of all kinds of desires for both of you. You can also share these specific ones about rape with a measure of concern. The catch in both of these cases is that you’re talking about desire, not initiating action. Make that clear.

Talk about these things when you’re not having sex. Talk about all kinds of desires. Be open to thought-experiments: Would it turn you on if you are the one being forced? Be curious about what turns each of you on by changing the variables of the fantasies: Would it turn her on if you were whispering? What if you were yelling? Or silent? Would it turn you on if she were acquiescing? Or struggling? Talk about limits: How would you feel if she slapped you as part of the scene? How does she feel being held down? Or bound?

Take your time, and have these conversations slowly. Take a break if either of you are feeling threatened or defensive, angry or resentful. Neither one of you should feel pushed into anything, or made to feel their desires are bad or wrong. Desires are just desires, turn-ons just turn-ons. What you choose to do as a couple is up to you. Remind yourselves that you don’t – you really don’t – have to fulfill each other’s every fantasy. And you don’t have to have perfectly matched turn-ons to have a great sex life.

Talk about everything only as possibilities, knowing that some of the desires you each have will be doable, and others not. And remember that, you’re not wanting to rape your girlfriend. You’re wanting to experience a fantasy with her if and only if she also wants to experience it with you. And in that realm, there are many possibilities.

Have a question on your mind related to sex? Send them in to editorial@simplysxy.com!

Karen B. K. Chan is a sex educator, emotional literacy trainer, and speaker in Toronto, Canada. Above all, she’s dedicated to widening the definitions of what’s erotic, cultivating ease and acceptance, and proving that emotional literacy, play, and honesty are sexy. Read the rest of her profile below!

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February 27, 2016