I used to be so repressed when it came to sex. I really craved it all the time, but thought that it was shameful and hid it. Women weren’t supposed to be sex-crazed. Well, I decided that was bullshit. There is nothing wrong with being comfortable with your sexuality. Sex doesn’t have to be romantic (though romantic can be fun!), nor does it have to be serious, nor does it even need to be meaningful. It’s just something most of us enjoy, and there is no shame in that.
I feel like when someone makes it only about themselves, it’s going to be unsatisfying. And yeah, I’ve had that happen. I’ve also had sex where my partner came way too fast–or instantly, in one case. But those experiences weren’t always unsatisfying. There are other ways to satisfy me than simple PIV sex, so even if that ended early, there’s always fingering and oral!
Common Mistakes Guys Make?
Not enough foreplay! Getting hard and just wanting to pop it in without any warm up is just… unpleasant. I mean, it doesn’t always feel bad, but it’s going to be a lot hotter if you grab her, rub her clit, and slide some fingers in beforehand (and maybe some choking, slapping, and dirty talking in her ear).
Fingering is also where guys mess up! If she’s not wet yet when you’re trying to rub her, spit on your fingers (or get her spit on them). Pay attention to how her body reacts. If she’s not feeling it, change what you’re doing, and be gentle with the clit at first! What I think is super hot is not going for her pussy right away. Move your hands lower and lower while you kiss on her. Let your fingers trace her inner thighs. Build up the anticipation! Rub the outside of the panties first (if she has them on). It’s a bit gentler on the skin honestly, and it makes her crave more. See if you can soak her panties this way! Finally, when you’re ready, start exploring under the panties and slip inside her.
Make Me Orgasm Through Oral Sex!
If a guy is going to go down on me, I want to be excited. If there’s been no build up, it just feels uncomfortable (especially when it’s dry). There are a few things that can get me excited (it varies depending on the person, so keep that in mind). Be forceful with me! Grab me from behind, slap my face, choke me, grope me, rub my pussy. Pick me up and throw me on the bed, the couch, or set me atop a counter (my favorite). Push my legs apart, kiss and nibble on the insides of my thighs, and then you can go for it. Build up is everything!
When it comes to the actual oral itself, you want to start off slowly and gently. Don’t go full blast from the beginning. Slow licks encircling the clit, some gentle flicks. A few sucks here and there. You can go heavier when excitement starts to build up. And then insert a finger or two (more later) and make a pulling motion with it, a “come hither” if you will. Alternate between licking/sucking the clit and rubbing it with your thumb. See the reactions, keep doing what feels good but change it up a bit, too. Switch between a few things with good reactions. It might take awhile, so don’t put on pressure to cum.
It’s not gonna happen if you seem to be bored/annoyed at how long it’s taking. If you expect your dick sucked for however long, you can eat pussy that long, too. Also keep in mind, orgasming isn’t always the goal. It can be a great time without an orgasm. Obviously orgasms are great, but if it doesn’t happen, don’t take it as a blow to your ego.
There’s Always Orgasms From Sex…
Orgasms aren’t going to happen if you’re lying there like a limp fish grunting, sorry. How to do cowgirl right: the work isn’t all on her. Grip her hips, bounce her on you. Smack her ass, tell her how hot she looks riding you. When you’re ready, pick her up, put her in whatever position you’re craving.
One I really love is when the guy stands carrying the woman with her legs wrapped around him, his hands on her butt bouncing her on his dick. Honestly it feels amazing, but I know it takes a lot of strength and stamina so don’t feel bad if you can’t manage it! It might be easier if you pin her against the wall while you do this (which is hot in of itself).
Obviously doggy is great if she’s into it, and I think it’s pretty hard to screw up. I think it’s generally a safe bet, but ONLY doing it can be pretty boring, and sometimes it’s hard to look back and I think eye contact makes things a little more intense.
Want to know what I think is hot? Fucking her against the counter in the bathroom where the both of you can see your reflections. I’ve only done this once, actually, but it was an experience I will NEVER forget. Seriously, go for it! Just don’t feel like you have to limit yourself to pre-set positions. Try new things out!
Changing up the scenery is really fun, I think. If all you’re ever doing with your girl is fucking her on the bed, sorry, it’s going to get old. Counters, tables, bouncing her on your lap while you sit on the couch, even the floor! Shower sex can be hot if you’re VERY careful. Get one of those shower handles (or two) so you can both grip on and reduce the possibility of falls. If you can find a secluded spot, fuck outside.
Ask her what her fantasies are, tell her what yours are. What one person might be into can be so different from someone else. Talk about it beforehand. Discuss limits, ESPECIALLY if you’re doing anything kinky. Talk about it during sex itself, let her know you love hearing how she likes it and what she wants to do next. Always pay attention to facial reactions. If she doesn’t like something, chances are her face will show it. Whisper filthy things in her ear. Some women won’t like it. Again, pay attention to her facial reactions! Other women will tremble with desire from it. Really, the number one sex tip is communication! And if you cum before her, that’s fine! Ask her if she’d like it if you fingered her or went down on her. I dated a guy who didn’t last all that long, honestly, but he could still get me off and I really appreciated it. If she doesn’t want it, that’s fine, too. If she really can’t cum from penetration, rub her pussy while you fuck her or let her use a vibe. Even if she can cum from penetration, these things still feel nice.
In summary, change it up! Put effort in! And always, ALWAYS, remember that communication is key.
I’m Dolly, and I’m a cam-girl turned porn princess living in Bay Area who’s particularly into power-exchange as a sub-leaning switch exhibitionist (sorry for the mouth-full). In my free time I like to game, read, and eat–both food and women. I frequently model for fetishpros.com.
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