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Tag: Sex Education

  • The Role of Sexual Health Education in Enhancing Long-Term Relationship Satisfaction

    The Role of Sexual Health Education in Enhancing Long-Term Relationship Satisfaction

    Research shows that comprehensive sex education programs have a positive impact on several outcomes, including reduced rates of sexual activity, risk behaviors, sexually transmitted infections (STIs), and adolescent pregnancy.

    Comprehensive Sex Education and Relationship Satisfaction

    These programs are also associated with delaying the onset of sexual activity. Specifically, comprehensive sexuality education programs were evaluated across 34 studies between 2011 and 2020, demonstrating an overall effect size of 1.31 (p < 0.001), with the effect on cognition noted as especially robust (effect size = 5.76, p < 0.001). This data underscores the capacity of CSE to influence not only immediate behavioral outcomes but also to equip individuals with the cognitive tools necessary for healthy sexual decision-making.

    The relevance of sexual satisfaction extends beyond the immediate context of sexual relationships, as it is increasingly recognized as an integral aspect of personal well-being and quality of life. This satisfaction is intricately linked to both physical and mental health, showcasing the indispensable role of sexual health knowledge and practices in fostering overall health. In relation to marital satisfaction, specific studies point to an increase in marital satisfaction following participation in sex education programs. One such study highlighted a notable rise in marital satisfaction for participants after receiving sex education, indicating a direct correlation between sex education and enhanced relationship dynamics.

    The Influence of Perceptions and Practices on Sexual Health

    Adolescents’ perceptions of sexual education play a critical role in shaping their attitudes toward sex, their sexual knowledge, and their engagement in healthy sexual behaviors. Adolescents who view sexual education as necessary tend to exhibit more informed and positive attitudes, superior knowledge, and healthier behaviors in contrast to their counterparts who do not see the education as essential. This aligns with the finding that only 9% of sexually active high school students report using both condoms for STI prevention and a more effective form of contraception to prevent pregnancy, despite 55% of U.S. high school students reporting having sexual intercourse by age 18. The decrease in self-reported condom use amongst adolescents signals a gap in sexual health practices that comprehensive sex education seeks to address.

    High school sex education in the United States presents a varied picture, with 72% of public and private high schools including pregnancy prevention in their required instruction as of 2014. Furthermore, 76% teach abstinence as the most effective method to avoid pregnancy, HIV, and STDs; 61% cover contraceptive efficacy; and only 35% instruct students on correct condom use. These figures illuminate the various approaches to sexual health education across educational institutions and the potential disparities in student preparedness for engaging in safe sexual behaviors.

    Addressing Modern Relationship Dynamics in Sex Education

    It’s important to note that many new unconventional relationship types have been accepted in the dating world, such as sugar dating and polyamory. These need to be taken into account when discussing sexual health since the definition of what a relationship can be has expanded. The expanding variety of relationship types underscores the necessity for sex education to adapt and address these varied relationship contexts. The significance of these trends lies in their expansion of traditional relationship definitions, necessitating an inclusive approach to sex education that addresses a wide array of sexual practices and relationship models.

    Acknowledging such diversity in sexual education curricula can enhance its relevance and efficacy for a broad spectrum of students. For instance, individuals engaging in sugar dating, which refers to relationships where typically an older and wealthier individual provides material benefits to a younger partner in return for companionship or sexual favors, require sex education that addresses the unique dynamics and potential challenges presented by such arrangements. Providing education that encompasses these multifarious experiences, as demonstrated by higher communication comfort, self-efficacy, and relationship satisfaction scores among individuals who perceived their sex education as more inclusive, is paramount in fostering healthy relational and sexual outcomes.

    Cultural Sensitivity in Sexual Health Education

    As sexual health education seeks to address a broader array of relationship types and sexual practices, the importance of cultural sensitivity becomes paramount. It’s essential that sex education programs are designed to be culturally inclusive, acknowledging and respecting the diverse backgrounds and beliefs of students. By incorporating culturally relevant examples and case studies, educators can make lessons more relatable and impactful, thereby increasing the effectiveness of the messages conveyed. This approach not only helps bridge cultural gaps but also enhances students’ understanding and acceptance of different perspectives related to sexual health and relationships.

    The Role of Parents and Caregivers

    Parents and caregivers play a critical role in reinforcing the concepts taught in sexual health education classes. Engaging parents in the educational process through workshops and informational sessions can empower them to discuss sexual health more openly with their children. This parental involvement is crucial as it helps solidify the knowledge gained in school and supports adolescents in making informed decisions. Furthermore, when parents are involved and informed, they are better equipped to navigate their own biases and provide a more supportive environment for discussing sensitive issues. Such engagement not only strengthens the student’s learning experience but also fosters a supportive network that promotes healthy sexual behaviors and relationship choices.

    Continued Evolution of Sex Education

    By continuing to evolve and adapt to the changing landscape of relationships and societal norms, sex education can remain a critical tool in promoting health and well-being, ensuring that all individuals, regardless of their relationship choices, are well-informed and prepared to make healthy decisions. The integration of cultural sensitivity and parental involvement in sex education programs will further its impact, making it more comprehensive and accessible to a diverse student population. These enhancements are essential for fostering an environment where young individuals feel empowered and supported in their journey towards understanding and managing their sexual health effectively.

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  • The Importance of Sex Education in a Modern Inclusive Australia

    The Importance of Sex Education in a Modern Inclusive Australia

    In contemporary Australia inclusion and diversity have become highly valued, so the need for comprehensive and inclusive sex education is also important. Sex education can provide us with the necessary knowledge and skills to make informed choices about our sexual health and the relationships we choose to enter into. Comprehensive and inclusive sex education can help us all to build awareness, respect, and empowerment in a modern society which aims to encompass people of all backgrounds.

    Health and Well-being

    One of the fundamental goals of sex education is to promote sexual health and wellness. Sex education should empower people to take control of their bodies and make responsible sexual health decisions by providing accurate information on subjects such as contraception, sexually transmitted infections (STIs), reproductive health, and even the use of adult toys. In Australia, where access to healthcare services should of course be available for everyone, appropriate sex education is a key factor in attempts to reduce STIs and unwanted pregnancies and contribute positively to public health.

    Inclusivity and Respect

    Sex education should nowadays be looking beyond biology to recognise the diversity of human sexuality and gender identity. Sex education ought to foster inclusion, tolerance, and respect for a variety of sexual orientations and gender identities by discussing sexual orientation, gender identity, and questions around consent. This will help us all to challenge preconceptions and biases, thus creating a tolerant and supportive community in which everyone feels valued and respected regardless of their sexuality or identity.

    Empowering Youth to Make Informed Choices

    In a world where many young people are now exposed to almost unlimited and uncensored information, comprehensive sex education should be preparing them to negotiate whatever sexuality and relationship difficulties may arise for them. Sex education needs to enable young people to make informed decisions, resist peer pressure, and build healthy relationships based on mutual respect and consent by building the foundations for open communication.

    Addressing Societal Challenges and Misconceptions

    Sex education can be an invaluable tool for preventing misconceptions about sexuality and relationships. It should be used to help build a supportive and understanding society by debunking myths, confronting taboos, and encouraging open discourse about sexual health and relationships. In contemporary Australia, sex education should ideally be employed to promote social justice and equality for everyone.

    Looking Ahead

    As Australia progresses towards being a more open society, sex education will retain its importance. It should remain inclusive, evidence-based, and available to all, regardless of background or orientation. Through education and training which employs inclusive curriculum guidelines, and by engaging with its diverse communities, Australia can build a future in which everyone has the knowledge to live healthy, aware lives.

    Sex education can be used as a tool to empower everyone to make informed decisions, encourage inclusion and respect, and break down obstacles and myths. A contemporary, inclusive Australia should see comprehensive sex education as a fundamental right which can help to form a healthy, egalitarian society for future generations. By investing in such a process, Australia will be able to foster sexual health, and engender equality and respect for all its people.

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  • The Importance of Sex Education for Kids

    The Importance of Sex Education for Kids

    Parents around the world worry about their kids, and those in Australia are no different. Ensuring that their offspring is safe and well and in a secure environment features highly for those responsible, as well as trying to get their kids into schools that offer the best facilities and standards so that they have the best chance of growing into confident and knowledgeable young adults.

    While mums and dads play their own part in teaching about the outside world so that it provides additions to schooling, there are certain subjects that should be left to those who are professionally trained to deliver things in the right way. The highest quality sex education is invaluable, rather than letting youngsters trying to piece things together and believing myths which can be harmful and lead to issues.

    Like any education it will ensure that children think about what they are being taught and to make the right decisions in the years that follow. The first thing to make clear, which can often worry parents, is that rather than encouraging children to have more sex, knowing the details and being informed of the dangers responsibly is more likely to limit them and to wait longer. Coming from experienced and respected adults allows their teachings to be different from sounding like a cool thing to do when kids listen to rumours and ill-informed tales from their peers.

    Studies show that there is a reduction in sex among those who are taught and that they have fewer partners, which also assists with their mental well-being. They also understand the importance of contraception, particularly the wearing of condoms, which leads to fewer unwanted pregnancies and a decrease in the likelihood of sexual diseases being passed on in later life. Some might enjoy the use of vibrators as an alternative to a partner as they reach adulthood.

    Those educated correctly will understand the importance of respect when with a partner, which sees fewer cases of non-volitional sex cutting down on sexual assault and putting partners in difficult and uncomfortable situations. Youngsters will also learn that sex around alcohol or drugs is also not a good idea, as judgment can be affected at such times. Children in the modern world face so many challenges and are asked to grow up far quicker by society. It is vital that they are armed with the best information to make the right choices and not carry out actions that can affect the rest of their lives.

    Understanding how babies are born and exactly what a mother goes through is also likely to deter rash actions, as are ways that may be offered for anyone feeling under pressure to deal with a situation. More schools put a high importance of the subject with more teachers being trained properly to administer the education which leads to increased sexual wellness.

    Sex education delivered by understanding professionals offers the best chance for youngsters learning, respecting and understanding their bodies and the issues that can arise when acting irresponsibly.

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  • How to Start off a Sext Conversation

    How to Start off a Sext Conversation

    Sexting is a fun and intimate way to stay connected with your significant other. Whether you’re in a long-distance relationship or just want to spice things up between the sheets, sexting can be an exciting way to keep the fire alive. But it can also be intimidating. After all, knowing how to start off a sext conversation isn’t exactly something that’s taught in school! That’s why we’ve put together this guide to help you get started. 

    Best Tips to Start a Sext Conversation

    1. Don’t jump into sexting right away
    2. Spice it up with emojis
    3. Sex lines can add up intense pleasure
    4. Understand the likes and dislikes of your sexting partner
    5. Be Creative and Have Fun 
    6. Conclusion

    Don’t Jump into Sexting Right Away

    It’s important not to jump right into the nitty gritty stuff. When starting off a sext conversation, take it slow and build up the tension gradually. Start by sending some flirty texts about what you’d like to do when you see them next, then move on from there. You could even send a few suggestive photos if you’re feeling daring. Don’t be afraid to let your imagination run wild.That’s part of the fun. To get some practice, better start texting at sexting.xxx as it’s a budding ground to sext with 100s of available girls who are ready for erotic fun.

    Spice it Up with Emojis

    Texting has revolutionized modern communication, allowing for unprecedented instant messaging between friends and family. With sexting becoming more popular amongst adults, it can be useful to adopt new ways of conveying intimacy – like emoji sexts. Emojis have different uses than words and can help you express certain emotions that could otherwise go unsaid. 

    Sex Lines can Add Up Intense Pleasure

    Sexts with emojis allow someone to send suggestive messages while avoiding explicit language, creating a playful and flirty atmosphere while sexting. For added fun, you can figure out how to make use of sex lines within texts, making conversations even more exciting. If you want to spice up your sexts with emojis or sex lines, why not give it a try? You may find out that sexting is even more enjoyable.

    Understand the Likes and Dislikes of your Sexting Partner

    Before getting started, it’s important to understand what kind of sexts your partner likes and dislikes. Some people are comfortable with more explicit language while others may prefer more subtle euphemisms. Knowing what words turn your partner on and which ones make them cringe will help ensure that they’re as turned on by your messages as possible! If you’re ever unsure, don’t be afraid to ask. Communication is key in any type of relationship, especially when it comes to sexting.   

    Be Creative and Have Fun

    Sexting should always be enjoyable for both parties involved. So have fun with it. Get creative with your messages by using puns or incorporating pop culture references if you know they’ll appreciate them. If you feel like getting even more creative, try writing out a steamy story and sending it chapter by chapter over text message or even voice notes if you’re feeling brave. Whatever you do, remember that this is supposed to be fun for everyone involved so don’t take yourself too seriously.

    Conclusion: 

    Sexting can be an incredibly sexy way of expressing yourself and staying connected with someone special. But only if done right. With these tips in mind, we hope that starting off a sext conversation will feel less intimidating and more exciting than ever before. So grab your phone, get creative, and embrace the power of modern technology. Have fun!

    Photo from Shutterstock

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  • How to Have a Threesome That’s Actually Good

    How to Have a Threesome That’s Actually Good

    For the most part, threesomes are something of a gray area of discussion – many desire it, but only a few actually do it. This is because fantasies aside, threesomes can be very tricky to pull off. Even more so if you don’t understand the basics of setting up an actually good threesome.

    Apart from ensuring your partner is totally into it, you must also find the perfect third person. If you thought finding the perfect partner as a single person was hard, try finding one as a couple!

    If you’ve fancied a threesome experience for a while, then it’s a good thing you’re here. This article will explain the basics of setting up a successful and exciting threesome experience.

    What is a Threesome?

    A threesome (ménage à trois in French) is a form of group dating that involves sexual activity between three consenting adults, unlike traditional two-way dates. Threesome dating often occurs with a couple looking for a third person to add to their sexual lives. This person is called a unicorn and can be of any gender or sexual orientation.

    Why have a threesome?

    The biggest reason people engage in threesomes is to fulfill their sexual fantasies. Some couples look to threesomes to spice up their sexual lives or gift their partners something special.

    Whatever the reason, it is important not to find a threesome in order to distract from problems in your relationship.

    Any communication or sexual problems you may have with your partner will only worsen if you add another person to your sex life. This is why you should always avoid planning a threesome as a bandage for your relationship issues.

    How to set up a threesome

    When you’re ready to go down the threesome lane, here are some basic steps which can guarantee you’ll achieve the best results:

    Communicate with your partner first.

    Trust me, you can’t do enough of this. Getting into a tinder for threesome or swinging may be an aspect of sex your partner might not be ready to explore yet. Or perhaps they are, but they need some convincing, which is up to you to provide, but gently. It’s possible that your partner will initially feel intimidated or jealous when you propose the idea of threesome dating.

    Keep your cool and describe your reasons for wanting a threesome. You’ll want to talk about the sexy aspects of having a threesome and let your partner know that you’re not interested in it because of any inadequacy on their part.

    Also, do not try to push your partner into it. Even if they seem cool with the idea, allow enough time to be certain they’re totally on board. A threesome can change the entire landscape of a relationship. Don’t jump headlong into it without discussing it first with your partner. If your partner doesn’t seem cool with it, it’s okay. You can always try again or gradually talk them up to it. Remember, no pressure.

    Set clear boundaries

    This is the “lay up ground rules” stage. When you’re sure your partner is on board with the whole idea, the next thing to do is establish the extent of your relationship you are willing to share with the third person. Common questions you should ask yourself are;

    1. What type of person are we looking for? Male or Female? Friend or stranger?
    2. Is it just for the sex? Or do we want to include this person in other aspects of our lives?
    3. What do we do if one of us gets uneasy or jealous during the threesome?
    4. How do we ensure neither party feels let out?
    5. After the threesome, what next? Does this become a regular occurrence? Do we introduce the person into our personal space and lives? Must we always hang out together?

    In answering these questions, however uncomfortable they might be, you both are establishing ground rules for your three-way relationship. And honestly, the quality of your threesome relationship is always much better when you can reach an agreement on things like this.

    Make a sex-acts checklist and visualize it together.

    As a couple looking for threesome partner, it’s always a good idea through swinger sites to create a sex-act checklist. This would contain a list of sexual acts permitted with your partner. What activities would we engage in together? What activities are off-limits? Some couples are okay having sex with a stranger swinger, but not kissing; some with a level of voyeurism but no penetration.

    You both want to be very clear on what’s off (and on) the table during sexual activities. As you discuss this, fantasize about every situation. Studies have shown that discussing these scenarios in bed can be a huge turn-on, and it further helps convince you that you’re ready to try it out. Clear-cut intimacy boundaries make it an emotionally safe experience for all parties involved.

    Finding the right partner

    Now, to the crux of it. Like regular two-way relationships, the most important aspect of setting up a threesome relationship is finding the right third. Not only do you have to find the type of person you’re looking for, but they also have to want you and be enthusiastic about a relationship with you. Sounds challenging, right? Not so much if you know where and how to look. Here are our suggestions.

    Use dating apps and sites.

    In this predominantly digital age, the easiest way to find a unicorn looking for couple is through threesome dating apps and sites, such as Feeld.co, Findyourthreesome.com, ThreesomeFriendFinder.com, etc., are just a few dating apps geared towards three-way relationships.

    Try out bars.

    Yes! Try out the traditional way of meeting and picking people up. Go to a bar with your partner. Put out feelers for what you want. You’d be surprised there are cool people interested in it too.

    Attend sex parties.

    There are cool and well-coordinated sex parties where you can meet people like you with different sexual orientations. One of them could be your third! Finding the ideal person to improve your sex life may take some time. But if you keep putting yourself out there, you will eventually succeed.

    Setting up a successful threesome…

    Setting up a successful threesome can appear daunting at first. However, carrying your partner along and discussing every step of the way can make the entire process easy and stress-free. We hope these tips have placed you well on your way to spicing up your relationship with an awesome threesome.

    Photo from Shutterstock

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  • Myths & Facts About The Vagina (Part 2)

    Myths & Facts About The Vagina (Part 2)

    I could talk about things we’ve gotten wrong about the vagina all day! I am going to go with the four that scream out to me initially:

    Anatomy: When you hear someone talk about these reproductive organs you will often hear people mention their vagina. For simplicity’s sake I have kept this much the same for this article (and it is not wrong, those I reference in this article are vagina ownzers) but when we get down to details most people don’t know the correct names for their anatomy. The outer part that we can see, and often refer to as the vagina, is actually called the Vulva. This includes the mons pubis, labia majora and minora, clitoris, and vaginal opening. The smooth area below the clitoris and between the labia minora is sometimes also called the vestibule. A pretty simple way to remember is that anything outside (that we can see) is the vulva, and anything inside (which we cannot see) is the vagina.

    The Hymen: The thing that I was most angry to never have learned was about the hymen. Anyone who has been raised in any sort of purity culture has probably received some sort of education about it based around these beliefs. 9 times out of 10 what you have heard is wrong. I assumed growing up that my hymen was something that needed to be broken, would cause pain, and would bleed. None of this was true in my case. Whenever I bring that the hymen of a post-pubescent vagina owner is likely not in-tact there is always that one person who speaks up with “You can lose that riding a bike” but it actually goes much beyond this to understand the hymen. The first thing to know is that the hymen is a muscle. It has the ability to expand and contract when we become aroused, which is why foreplay is so important. It is theorized by evolutionary biologists that the hymen in present fully at birth in order to keep feces from entering the vaginal canal. Beyond this, the hymen is usually gone by approximately age two, because there is less need for it as we age. There are a lot of different ways that the hymen can look, and so some adult women do have it “break”, but for the majority this is not true.

    Vaginal “looseness”: If you grew up in any space with teenage boys, you’ve likely heard a comment or two about a “loose vagina” from someone. Boys in my school would pull that card on any girl that expressed a bit of sexual freedom. Unfortunately, this is something that I am still hearing a lot as an adult. It is simply untrue that someone who has a lot of sex is going to end up with a permanently loose vagina. The entire organ, much like I explained of the hymen, is made up of elastic-like smooth muscle and expands and contracts with arousal. Knowing this, it makes sense that those muscles will loosen during the act of sex, and go back to their resting state after. One of the only times that this smooth muscle may be affected and seem a little laxer is in the instance of somebody who has given birth. For people to assume that a penis would be able to have the same effect as pushing out an entire human sounds a little strange, don’t you think? You will never find me talking about having a “tight” vagina on any of my social media, because it is something that I do not believe helps this myth that vagina owners will become loose and less desirable.

    Orgasms: When it comes to orgasms, I think everyone must sort of figure out what makes them tick. When it comes to orgasms associated with vaginal penetration, a lot of vagina owners don’t understand why they aren’t having them. I remember having the thought, “why do people even like this?” when I was not able to orgasm from vaginal penetration, and I am not the only one. Since learning more about it, and taking the pressure of an orgasm away, I have been able to enjoy it more and educate a lot of people about something they likely would have never known. It is completely normal for you not to have an orgasm from vaginal penetration alone. If your vaginal opening is 2.5cm away from your clitoris, it is nearly statistically impossible for you to orgasm from penetration alone. This news will shock you in a good or a bad way but believe me when I say you’re not alone if you don’t orgasm this way. Studies of evolution find that our ancestors with vaginas may have needed to reach orgasm in order to procreate. As the world has changed and progressed, we obviously know this not to be true anymore. So, much like anything, our bodies have changed along with this. Looking at bodies over timespans has shown that the average clitoris is actually migrating away from the vaginal opening because we don’t have the need for orgasm in terms of procreation. Don’t let this fool you, though, your orgasm is still very much important and there are many other ways to achieve it!

    https://www.open.edu/openlearncreate/mod/oucontent/view.php?id=33§ion=3.5

    Where Do These Myths Come From & Why Do They Still Exist?

    This would be different for a lot of people, but in my experience, many of these myths came from purity culture. I know for myself, I was getting information about my body that was not backed by science and often not true, but fit the narrative of the purity that the culture wanted me to maintain.

    On top of this, when we look at history, everything makes sense as to why we have such little understanding of vaginas. For most of history, male doctors were unable to be in the room with a naked woman, and unfortunately there were also no female doctors for much of this time. Any issue relating to birth, or the vagina was handled by midwives, but was passed down only through word of mouth. Even in 1971, when Justin Trudeau was born, men were not allowed to be in the room when their wives were birthing. This is one possible explanation as to why these myths continue to exist. The missing pieces not recorded and documented throughout history still make it very hard to study this anatomy today.

    https://www.sciencephoto.com/media/778952/view/hymen-types-illustration

    How Misconceptions Can Be Removed

    I can look at a certain culture or religion and accept that they have certain beliefs, but I do not think that these beliefs should trump the honest truths about our bodies. You can teach a young person with a vagina about your beliefs while still teaching them facts. A lot of instances show science and religion against one another, but this does not have to be the case.

    I would like to see sex education in schools change from being abstinence based, to something that is based in science and inclusive of all individuals. We need to accept that young people are going to have sex whether their parents and other groups want them to or not, and that educating them on safe sex is better than them figuring it out themselves. Knowledge is power.

    Charlie Fae – I am an independent escort based in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada…and with plans to travel. With a scientific background, sex education is something I am and likely always will be passionate about. This mixed with a gift of talking has suited me well. I provide quite a diverse array of services, from girlfriend experience to different areas of kinky play, and am inclusive of all people and abilities. In my “free time” you would find me reading about nearly anything, stressing about which masters program to apply to, and making more and more content for my Onlyfans page.

    Follow Charlie Fae on:

    Websites: allmylinks.com/cheekychar96

    Twitter: twitter.com/cheekychar96

    OnlyFans: onlyfans.com/cheekychar96

    Other Works: Interview with Lyla Canada https://www.lyla.ch/topic/187924-an-interview-with-cheeky-char-being-a-sex-worker-with-a-disability/

    Images as credited above, featured image from Shutterstock

    Like to be featured on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

  • Myths & Facts About The Vagina (Part 1)

    Myths & Facts About The Vagina (Part 1)

    My thoughts surrounding sex have changed immensely as I became an adult. I grew up in a “Christian Conservative” household, in a very small town, where much of the only talk about sex I heard was in hushed tones or uncomfortable jokes. I was taught growing up that sex was something you saved for the one person that you would marry, and because of this it had been ingrained in my that sex was a bad thing otherwise.

    When I reached adulthood and went away to university this all changed as I was introduced to new perspectives. Sex became something that was talked about quite freely, and didn’t have to be a secret with my friends. It became more “normal” and as many of my thoughts changed in university, so did those about sex. All of a sudden, it wasn’t something just to please a man that I would marry. It was something I could enjoy then, and with whoever I chose it to be with. This is very much the view I hold today. Sex is not something that I want to live my life being stressed over, when it can be fun, connecting, stress-relieving.

    What Are Your Thoughts About Sex Education?

    My thought relating to education is that it is not easily accessible enough. I felt very frustrated at the fact that I made it into university without knowing these things that I think I should have known about my body. Of course, the information is in books or on the internet if one is looking for it, but I don’t think we can expect everyone, especially teenagers, to know how to do all the work to find it on their own. The internet, for instance, is full of great information but is also clouded with trolls and misogyny. There is this myth that if you teach young people about sex that it is going to make them have sex, as if this would be the most awful thing. I think it is awful that we know they are going to have sex anyway and we don’t give them the proper knowledge to make informed decisions about it.

    On top of this, I know the little bit of sex education I did receive in school was not inclusive. It talked about guys and guys, and what a girl and a guy might do together. There were gay and other LGBTQ+ youth in my class who didn’t get any coverage on the sex they would go on to have. Sex education needs to be for everyone.

    Having Adequate Sex Education

    The level of sex education that I received was not anywhere near adequate. I never had parents that had “the talk” with me. It was something that made them very uncomfortable, and so they left that up to the sex education I would receive at school. Unfortunately, this education was lacking in many ways. It was very much abstinence based and lasted not even a month. There were a lot of slideshows with basic anatomy, and jokes from the boys in my class. The image I had always had of putting a condom on a banana didn’t even happen.

    I ended up with a condition called Vaginismus where I was unable to have sex for a significant amount of time, because the muscles in my vaginal canal were contracting at the wrong times (sometimes basically closing up completely). There are different reasons that people can develop this condition, but for me it largely stemmed back to the knowledge I got, or didn’t get, about sex and my body, and the anxiety that this caused.

    In one ear, I had my Christian upbringing telling me how much it was going to hurt and how I shouldn’t be doing it, and there was not enough scientific information to drown that out. From this condition I became borderline obsessed with learning about my body, and my vagina specifically. Studying my sciences at the time, I would spend intense amounts of time scrolling peer reviewed sources to get the most adequate information I could obtain. This is how I learned that there is a lot that nobody knows about the female reproductive system. But fortunately, I was able to still learn a lot and get on the road to recovery for Vaginismus.

    Part 2 to follow…

    Charlie Fae – I am an independent escort based in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada…and with plans to travel. With a scientific background, sex education is something I am and likely always will be passionate about. This mixed with a gift of talking has suited me well. I provide quite a diverse array of services, from girlfriend experience to different areas of kinky play, and am inclusive of all people and abilities. In my “free time” you would find me reading about nearly anything, stressing about which masters program to apply to, and making more and more content for my Onlyfans page.

    Follow Charlie Fae on:

    Websites: allmylinks.com/cheekychar96

    Twitter: twitter.com/cheekychar96

    OnlyFans: onlyfans.com/cheekychar96

    Other Works: Interview with Lyla Canada https://www.lyla.ch/topic/187924-an-interview-with-cheeky-char-being-a-sex-worker-with-a-disability/

    Featured image from Shutterstock

    Like to be featured on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

  • What To Do If Your Child Has Been Exposed To Porn

    What To Do If Your Child Has Been Exposed To Porn

    Q: Is there a video or other resource available to give age-appropriate information to children who have been prematurely exposed to it and why it is not a good thing to view porn?

    There is. I have written a book about that same subject and it is in the process of finding a publisher. I also have an online webinar that I am preparing. Meanwhile, I will share with you the main three points I advise parents to keep in mind in such situations:

    1. Breathe

    If your child has seen adult content, the first thing to do is BREATHE. Stay calm. Don’t do more harm by freaking out. Think of it this way: Just like when your toddler falls, it is best to stay cool. A toddler sometimes seeks out their parent to gauge how severe the fall was; they can register it from the look on your face or the pitch of your voice. You take it seriously, and by staying calm, your child is assured that you can handle the situation.

    Now is not the time to go into questions like “who showed you this” and “why did you do this” or “what were you thinking”. This will not help the child process what happened. You can deal with these questions later if you then still believe that it is important. Also, do not get hyper and have your voice go to the range that only dogs can hear. That is confusing and not helpful.

    1. Ask

    Ask your child what they felt and thought. Most likely your child was grossed out by what they saw. You can start by validating that – lots of the porn or adult content that is available is strange even to adults. Imagine if you are seeing it for the first time!

    If you do not know where to start, then the easiest thing to do is to ask your child what they already know. Often this includes some misconceptions you can simply correct (like “the man pees inside the woman”).

    You can also ask what they were looking for – sometimes children stumble on it unknowingly, other times they know exactly what they want to see. Maybe your child knows about sex already. Maybe they are older and are already starting to think about sex. Maybe they are considering to have sex for the first time. Asking allows you to respond at your child’s maturity level.

    1. Share

    It is crucial to communicate to your children of any age that searching the web (specifically searching for porn content) is NOT the best idea when looking for sex education. Porn is terrible sex education; it is not even real sex! Just like a romantic comedy, porn is someone else’s fantasy put on film. It is created for adults and does not portray sex in a realistic way.

    Another important item is to share that “there are things you can’t unsee.” You can relate to something they were scared or affected by and ask them if they wished they hadn’t been exposed to it in the first place (for me it was the movie “Alien”).

    Also, you can share that viewing porn is not good when you are not ready for it. A child does not know how to process it, especially when no one around will talk about sexuality. I’ve heard people use the excuse that generally telling kids about sex “breaches the firewall of innocence.” I argue that NOT telling a child about sex keeps them ignorant about a very basic human behavior, and this will lead to much confusion for the kid growing up and being exposed to other sexual behavior, imagery and concepts. There is a big difference between acknowledging and encouraging; I am only suggesting that you acknowledge sexuality.

    Make sure to follow up with real information about what sex is. Most parents look for age-appropriate information; the fact is all children are different. Even within the family, siblings can be vastly different in mental, emotional, and intellectual readiness for information about sexuality. Unless one knows your family history and background, relating specifics is tough. Information from books or sites will give a range of ages because there can be huge variance (e.g., first menstruation can be between ages 9 and 16 with an average of 12). I offer private coaching for parents to help relearn or reframe the information about sexuality that is useful and pertinent for your specific child.

    A Final Word

    Let me finish this post with a remark about the word “exposed”. There are worse things that kids are exposed to and some of these we do not think twice. Violence in cartoons for children comes to mind (e.g. Bugs Bunny and Road Runner). What does the depiction of violence do to our children long term, where characters repeatedly harm each other but suffer no real consequences? As a society we do not think about that very much. Yet, when it comes to sex and nudity we are petrified of perceived long-term consequences. Which one are you more likely to be exposed to again and again? Violence is more damaging in my mind than viewing (most) sex acts.

    Some of the adult content that is out there is scary and confusing and bizarre. The important point is to make porn viewing as much of a non-event as possible but also, enough of a lesson that children learn not to do it again. My bottom line is it is not the porn viewing that is ultimately so damaging – it is the reaction of the adults that can be problematic.

    If you want more information about private coaching, webinars, or my book when it becomes available, contact me at mamasutra@me.com

    Xxoo

    The MamaSutra

    This article has been republished with permission from Lanae St.John.
    Please visit Lanae St.John’s website  to view the original post and more of Lanae’s works.

    Featured image courtesy of Shutterstock.
    Have an amazing experience or tips you like to share on SimplySxy?  Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

  • The Ultimate Brain SEX for HER

    The Ultimate Brain SEX for HER

    He captivated me with his words telling me how sexy I was, how sweet my lips tasted as he lightly swept his hand down my side. “Lay still”, he said as he spread my legs and teased my inner thighs with his kisses. “Close your eyes and lay on your back, arch your back for me so I can look at your sexy body”, he said with authority. As I did that, he ran his hand from my foot up between my legs parting them even wider as he softly teased my inner thighs, and kissing my swollen clitoris. I could feel my entire body shaking at this point, wet with anticipation and a longing for him to command me what to do next with his words.

    There is nothing sexier than a man with a BIG brain that knows how to use it to turn his partner on. Brain sex can be the ultimate tease for a woman and a sexual advantage for a man that knows just what to say. It is no secret that women get turned on by sexy stories, as any book store can attest to this—just take a gander down the romance isles. Many of these books written for women about romance defiantly have an element of what others may deem as soft porn. With this knowledge at any man’s finger tips, you would think that almost all men have gathered these books, researched them and tried them out on their partners. If it was that easy, every man would have women melting in their hand … RIGHT?

    The most difficult task though is how and when you deliver these sexy words to her. Timing and delivery is everything, this is why turning popular books such as 50 Shades of Grey and the Twilight saga from book to screen lost some of its sex appeal. The trick is to know your partner. Each woman is unique in her response to brain SEX and tapping into her sexomoter is the first step. A man that delivers his sexy words with confidence is going to be quite different than a man saying the same words without confidence. Choosing the right moment is as important when you have her full attention and this can be done with a simple text a couple times during the day. As the sun goes down, teasing her as to what you have planned to do to her later that evening will leave her with anticipation. Mental foreplay is a caveat to brain SEX. Lastly, once you have her full attention you can also place a blindfold on her eyes while she listens to you telling her what you want her to do, without any visual distraction. Testing out your techniques on her is part of the fun as well as trying new ways to stimulate her brain leading ultimately to mind blowing sex for the both of you.

    Have a question on your mind related to sex? Send them in to editorial@simplysxy.com! 

    Dawn Michael is a Certified Clinical Sexologist and Intimacy Counselor. Her proven techniques have helped thousands of couples to not only improve their sex lives but the intimacy in their marriage as well. Read the rest of her profile below!

    Featured image courtesy of Shutterstock

  • Self-Censorship in Sex Ed?

    Self-Censorship in Sex Ed?

    When my daughters were eight and ten years old, I tried to give them a lesson in old rock hits from when I was young—AC/DC, Journey, Van Halen, all the songs that were popular when I was their age.

    I never intended this to be a sex ed lesson, but as you’ve heard me say before, sex is everywhere—and sometimes it shows up when you least expect it especially when I called up a Pandora channel called AC/DC “TNT.”

    If you’re familiar with this music, you probably know where this is going. It started off innocently enough, with me just wanting to teach my kids about some of the “jams” of my youth… Well, I won’t go into the details of every song—“TNT” alone was hilarious with lyrics like, “lock up your daughter, lock up your wife. Lock up your back door and run for your life”— and “I’m a power load…watch me explode”… (Writing about the song “Big Balls” is a post on its own!) I feel a little weird just writing this! (I’m sure it has something to do with how I felt hearing this as a tween.) I nearly chickened out. I took a deep breath and explained to my kids that the lyrics had a double meaning of the guy being a loose cannon you don’t want to pick a fight with, but also, of course, representing ejaculation. My eight-year-old didn’t get it—she’ll get it soon enough—but my oldest had eyes as big as saucers. All she could say was “really?” Then, with what I detected to be a sign of exasperation, she muttered, “Boys are always talking about their penises.”

    Can someone tell me why “innocence”  and “naïveté” are so prized in children? Who are these inside jokes supposed to keep out… children? The Man? Why? What purpose does self-censorship have when it’s about something as silly as basic human functions? Sometimes, adults will tell me about situations that occurred when they were younger. Sex blogger Redhead Bedhead wrote a funny post about songs of the 80’s and the not-so-subtle sexual messages of 80’s music. The kicker was the time she sang “Push It” in school and got in trouble— never mind that similar music was played at talent shows and kindergarten graduations. Was her age the big factor? If it is, it’s confusing for children. I can’t think of an instance where self-censorship has resulted in a positive outcome. Ultimately when a child got into trouble for behavior that was previously ok and the rules changed without notice, it affected them in one-way or another.

    I know from experience that having these conversations can be awkward, but it’s not life or death. Nobody dies as a result of having been let in on a joke. It’s freeing to understand why something was acceptable then, and not acceptable later. If nothing else, the kids just get to understand reality better—and most of that reality is that adults really are (usually) fixated on sex.

     

    This article has been republished with permission from Lanae St.John.
    Please visit Lanae St.John’s website  to view the original post and more of Lanae’s works.

    Featured Image courtesy of Shutterstock.
    Have an amazing experience or tips you like to share on SimplySxy?  Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!