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How Do I Get My Partner To Swallow?

Sex Ed

How Do I Get My Partner To Swallow?

Is there a way to convince my partner to swallow instead of spitting out my cum after ejaculation from a blowjob?

I do not recommend that you try to “convince” your partner to do anything they do not enjoy doing. The point of sex with another person is that BOTH of you enjoy it fully. If your partner does not enjoy what you enjoy, pressuring them to do it will only erode the sexual connection as well as the relationship.

The fact that you want her to swallow even though she does not want to swallow your cum suggests a possible power struggle in your relationship. Are there other areas of the relationship where the two of you try to control the other?

Whether she swallows your cum or not will not effect your orgasm but it can effect how you feel about the sexual connection. I invite you to explore how you feel about the fact that she does not swallow. For instance, does it make you feel less loved or accepted? Or do you feel rejected by her?

If you discover any negative emotions associated with the fact that she does not swallow your cum, I recommend you share those emotions with her. Then encourage her to share her feelings about oral sex and swallowing.  By exploring your feelings and her feelings, the two of you will create more emotional intimacy and more ease talking about the sex you share with each other. That could lead to more sexual experimentation which could be very enjoyable for both of you.

Have a question on your mind related to sex? Send them in to

Veronica Monet, ACS, CAM is a Relationship Coach, Certified Sexologist and Anger Management Specialist. You can schedule your session via Skype or telephone by emailing her at Follow her website on

Featured image courtesy of Shutterstock

Veronica Monet

Veronica is a highly visible spokesperson for sexual rights and has appeared on every major network as well as CNN, FOX, CNBC, WE, A&E and international television programs. She has been profiled in many publications including The New York Times and has lectured at a variety of academic venues including Kent State, Stanford and Yale Universities. She is the author of Sex Secrets of Escorts (Alpha Books 2005) and regularly contributes to a variety of publications. As a Certified Sexologist (ACS), Certified Sex Educator (SFSI) and Certified Anger Management Specialist (CAM) Veronica Monet coaches clients over the telephone and in-person at her Northern California office.

Get in touch with Veronica via email at


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