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The Single Male’s ‘P’s and Q’s’ to Swinging


The Single Male’s ‘P’s and Q’s’ to Swinging

Why are all single guys not allowed into swing clubs? Well, that is actually a pretty easy answer for me. Basically, it is because most single men don’t know how to behave. Now I’m not asking every single guy out there to be the perfect gentleman (although that would be nice), what I am saying is that just because you are at a club filled with swingers, that does not mean you are guaranteed to get sex, let alone sex from any woman that you fancy.

I am sure you will encounter a lot of women who spark your interest, especially when they are most likely dressed VERY sexily—I’m talking skin tight dresses, high stiletto heels, stockings, and very possibly … no panties. A typical single guy who finds him surrounded by all these delicious ladies will most likely approach them and assuming that they are also there for sex, he probably doesn’t see the need to be polite to them. He may be grabby, had too much to drink (because of nerves), or could even be somewhat crude. Well, I’m sorry, but just because she is there with the intention of having sex does not mean she should not be treated like a lady!

Make that tiny bit of extra effort and treat her well. Compliment her looks, outfit, and those beautiful eyes. Then once she gets to know you a bit and gives you some signals that she is also interested in you, ask her nicely if she would like to go to the play room. This will definitely go a long way into getting you laid and honestly, this is pretty much how you should treat a lady in a normal non-swinging situation as well.

Now that you realize how many women have been groped, talked down to, and basically just treated poorly in swingers clubs just because the single men there have figured they are there for sex, so they can be treated badly, you are probably starting to understand why single men are not permitted into all swing clubs. That said, there are some clubs out there that will allow single males in as long as they are ‘chaperoned’ by a couple that is pretty much responsible for him and will vouch that he will not act aggressively. A couple of other clubs have special nights that allow singles to enter. In fact, these days, with the increasing number of couples looking to add a single male into their mix, there are even some that welcome. single males with literally ‘open arms’. This can be either in the form of a third (wife’s fantasy of having two men at the same time), or a male engaged to have sex with a woman while her husband watches.

There are lots of rooms (no pun intended) for single men in the world of swingers. So look around and find a club that best suits your preference and when you go, PLEASE remember to act like a gentleman.

PS: You can also find swingers looking for single men on my site. Give it a try—what do you have to lose?

Till then, enjoy!

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Sandi Andersen

Sandi Andersen has been personally helping Swingers meet since 1993, with the help of her magazines Tryst (est. 1981) and Tab (est. 1956), which are no longer available in print form, and her website (est. 1995). She has a straight forward approach to topics of swinging and sex which comes through in her writing. Promoting healthy, safe sexual relationships with two or more people being involved, as in the Swinging Lifestyle, she has attended and presented many seminars on the subject at Lifestyle conventions and trade shows in Canada and across the United States. Her theory is that sometimes being able to talk with someone (or read about others' experiences and concerns) can make all the difference in allowing yourself the freedom to enjoy your sexuality to the fullest. Sandi also runs an online travel agency specializing in Adults Only Erotic Vacations under the main URL of, where she will help you pick the erotic vacation best suited for the two of you or for you to join in with a group of travelers.

Visit Sandi's travel site


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