In the last 20 years, alternative lifestyles and relationships other than traditional ‘monogamous heterosexual’ marriage has gained acceptance and popularity. Adult porn stars, such as Jemma Jameson, have become household names. Movies such as Eyes Wide Shut was a box office hit, and the 50 Shades of Grey series started an entire movement, where people felt free to openly discuss subjects once thought of as taboo. The internet has a never ending supply of access to free porn, and the content has shifted from big budget productions, with actresses that 90% of the population cannot relate to, and replaced with amateur and reality porn.
Sex is no longer such a taboo topic, and people are now comfortable enough to share their desires without the fear of being judged. We have so many different types of relationship dynamics today, and it would be foolish to think that traditional, monogamous relationships are ideal for everyone. For some, exploring the options outside what is considered the ‘norm’ can teach you things you never knew about yourself or your partner by opening up the channel for communication, challenging perceived sexual and personal boundaries, and strengthening the relationship with oneself and your partner.
How My Interest In Swinging Began
Several years ago, I shot about a dozen adult films in LA and Miami. I became good friends with one of the male actors, who happened to live in Dallas, and we quickly became close friends. He was a bartender at several venues, and one was the upscale swingers club in Dallas. I was asked to promote/host one of their events.
I was brand new to the industry, and I was met by a packed club of half naked people, waiting in line for my autograph. I became fast friends with the owner and his wife and several other couples, but there was one couple in particular, that developed into a deep, loving relationship. I was their girlfriend for almost 2 years, and we shared a very special friendship. I am still good friends with them, the club owner, and several of the same couples I Initially met 10+ years ago.
Reasons For Couples Who Explore Swinging
Well, there are the right reasons, and the wrong ones LOL, and I have experienced couples in both situations.
The lifestyle is not a bandaid for a failing relationship. If your relationship does not already have a strong foundation of trust, mutual respect, and open, honest communication, you are setting yourself up for failure. Both parties must be willing participants and should never be forced or guilt tripped into this scenario. Ground rules and boundaries MUST be discussed, agreed upon, and upheld, and the line of communication should always maintain open.
If you are scared or uncomfortable openly communicating with your partner or others your needs, desires, and boundaries, a counseling session with an intimate coach would be a better course of action for self improvement and strengthening your relationship.
How Does One Bring Up The Idea Of Swinging To Their Partner?
Again, honest and open communication is key. One way to bring up the subject to gauge interest is to watch an adult film together, involving a scenario with more than two participants. Comment to your partner how much the scene turns you on and why…..ask if this is something they would ever be open to trying together to gauge interest.
If you need to convince your partner to engage in adding an additional person/persons to your bedroom, then you should not pursue this lifestyle. Both you and your partner must be willing participants.
3 Tips For New Couples To Try Swinging
1. Open, honest communication: I’ll say this again, because I can not stress enough that this is KEY to a positive experience
2. Set clear rules and boundaries: Have a discussion of your ground rules for what each of you is comfortable with, and what is off limits
3. Take your time: Many couples new to the lifestyle make the mistake of attending a lifestyle event with the mentality they need to hook up. They create unnecessary pressure on one another, as well as creating an aggressive vibe that most will find off putting. Relax, really take the time to talk to people and get to know them before thinking about taking your clothes off. There are several lifestyle websites where you can create a profile, and get an opportunity to chat online. For first timers, I highly suggest hiring a professional such as myself, with years of experience meeting with nervous couples.
Hayden Hightower – A petite blonde playmate based in Dallas TX. Hayden is a TER Dallas TOP 10 provider available for luxury Companionship and VIP Concierge services for men, women, and couples. She is highly regarded for her Couple’s encounters and her authentic NURU Bodyslide encounters, in addition to her one on one girlfriend experiences. Hayden is an avid fitness enthusiast and works in the health/wellness industry helping others achieve a healthier lifestyle. In her free time, she enjoys working out, relaxing at home, and spending time with her boxer, Tank.
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Article images courtesy of Hayden Hightower
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