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Tag: kink

  • How to Safely Experiment with BDSM: A Beginner’s Guide

    How to Safely Experiment with BDSM: A Beginner’s Guide

    Introduction To BDSM

    Sexuality is a spectrum, where we’re always discovering something new about ourselves and our interests. Kinks and fantasies form an essential part of our sexuality, and that is why it’s important to explore it further to be more authentically connected with ourselves.

    A common fantasy is experimenting with BDSM, that is Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, and Sadomasochism. In this type of power play, two consenting adults engage in the role of top and bottom. The top is the one that’s more dominant and exercises control over the submissive partner also known as the bottom. There are many ways to engage in BDSM, ranging from the use of sex toys to ropes for inflicting pain.

    In this article, we’re going to look at how you can safely experiment with BDSM if you’re new to it.

    How To Safely Experiment With BDSM As A Beginner


    Image Courtesy: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-holding-necktie-1615848/

    If you’re a beginner to BDSM and want to experiment your interests with a consenting partner safely, here’s what you should focus on:

    Prioritize Consent And Communication

    Consent is the foundation of a safe and pleasurable BDSM experience. This means that both partners enthusiastically agree to engage in this form of power play but can also withdraw their consent anytime they wish to. Another important aspect of a safe and pleasurable BDSM encounter is to communicate expectations, information, and other important details before starting the power play session. This includes fears, desires, and non-negotiable aspects of BDSM for you and your partner. Prioritizing consent and communication will help you safely experiment with BDSM as a beginner.

    Self-Reflection And Boundary Setting Is Essential

    Once you’ve communicated your needs with your partner, and they’ve agreed to try BDSM enthusiastically, it’s time for some self-reflection. Why do you want to engage in BDSM? Is it because you want to increase intimacy in your long-term relationship, or maybe you’re curious about how it feels to control someone sexually or be controlled. Try answering these questions before engaging in power play to gain more from the experience and understand yourself better. It will help you to set boundaries and say no to things that you’re not comfortable with. Self reflection often opens up doors to explore BDSM as a beginner and can be helpful in boundary setting for both you and your partner. This includes setting boundaries in terms of acceptable and unacceptable behavior, as well as safe words

    Explore And Learn About Your Interests

    Image Courtesy: https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-nude-person-with-rope-tied-around-its-body-11104890/

    BDSM is an umbrella term. There are a lot of fantasies and kinks that fall under it. For instance, someone might enjoy getting spanked while another person may want to try a curvy BBW sex doll. That’s why it’s important to understand and learn more about your interests as a beginner rather than jumping straight into extreme BDSM that may make you uncomfortable. For exploration and learning you can visit websites, read books and magazines, and even watch videos to know what all constitutes BDSM and which part of the power play you’re actually interested in. Share what you’ve found with your partner, afterall open discussion is an important component of safe BDSM experimentation as a beginner. Being knowledgeable about your likes and dislikes will only make the process more fun for both you and your partner.

    Pick An Appropriate Setting

    Picking the right setting for a safe and fun BDSM experience is almost as important as picking the right partner. Whether you want to try BDSM for the first time nestled in the safety of your home, or you want to go to a hotel on your next vacation to add a touch of mystery to your experience, the choice is yours. Just ensure that you feel safe and comfortable in the place, and so does your partner. An appropriate setting can easily get you in the mood for something raunchy while the wrong kind of setting can put off the mood and add a lot of unnecessary pressure on you as a couple. So avoid that, communicate with your partner, find a setting that you both like, and start experimenting with BDSM.

    Make Aftercare A Part Of The Routine

    Image Courtesy: https://www.pexels.com/photo/couple-kissing-on-a-couch-4395196/

    Power play can be amazing and fun, but ensuring that you and your partner feel cared for after the deed is done is extremely important. Whether you tried bondage for the first time, or even engaged in some pain infliction, it’s essential that you and your partner feel connected afterwards, and know that you’re coming back to each other. Try cuddling, watching something together, sharing a meal, or talking about the experience to gauge what you and your partner found the most interesting and what didn’t work. This will strengthen your bond, make you trust each other more, and make experimenting with BDSM more fun in the long term.

    It’s A Wrap

    BDSM is a common fantasy of many people, and individuals of all sexual orientations engage in power play from time to time. If you’re interested in experimenting with BDSM, you should prioritize consent, communication, self-reflection, boundary setting, learning, and aftercare for an amazing experience. The tips given above are a guide through which you can make your experience worthwhile, so don’t be afraid to try something new.

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  • Reign of Power: Exploring Femdom Fantasies

    Reign of Power: Exploring Femdom Fantasies

    Femdom POV stands at the intriguing intersection of power dynamics and sexual gratification within the realm of adult entertainment. This captivating genre portrays a dominant female, known as a “domme,” asserting control over her willing male submissive, aptly referred to as a “sub,” in an intimate and sensual fashion. The allure of Femdom POV lies in its ability to transport viewers into a world where they can embody the submissive role under the firm yet alluring hand of a commanding figure. The scenes can range from mild to extreme, offering a diverse spectrum for individuals to delve into their desires and fantasies.


    Defining Femdom POV

    Femdom POV, also recognised as Female Domination Point-of-View, unfolds as an adult content genre where the female protagonist takes the lead. The scenes predominantly feature dominant women paired with submissive men, although variations may include multiple females and/or males.

    Within the realm of Femdom POV scenes, the female exerts dominance through an array of physical activities such as spanking, bondage, and roleplay. She may also employ psychological tactics, including humiliation or commanding language, to maintain her authoritative position. The point-of-view angle within these scenes grants viewers the immersive experience of partaking in the depicted sexual activities.

    For many enthusiasts of Femdom POV pornography, this genre offers an escape from the mundane, allowing exploration of their fantasies without the burden of societal judgment. It embodies empowerment, affording individuals the chance to step into the shoes of a formidable woman with absolute control over her sexual partners. Additionally, it serves as a liberating outlet for those who identify with a submissive inclination, enabling them to embrace their desires without fear of external condemnation.

    Overall, it provides a unique avenue for viewers to traverse the realms of dominance and submission, embracing the complexities of human desire.

    Exploring Femdom POV: A Glimpse into Dominance and Submission

    The realm of Femdom POV unfolds into distinct archetypes, each presenting a unique facet of power dynamics and intimate connections. Let’s delve into the enigmatic world of domination and submission, exploring the varied shades that Femdom POV embodies.

    1. Dominatrix or Mistress Play: A Symphony of Control and Pleasure

    Dominatrix or Mistress play encapsulates the essence of dominance and submission within Femdom POV. In this enthralling variant, a woman assumes the role of a dominant figure, imposing strict rules and orders upon her submissive male partner. The male partner is bound to obey her every command, and disobedience often results in punishments. Within this scenario, the female partner enjoys complete control, employing an array of techniques and even sex toys to heighten their shared experience.

    2. ‘Girlfriend Experience’ (GFE): A Fusion of Intimacy and Discipline

    Contrasting the stringent power dynamics of Dominatrix play, the ‘Girlfriend Experience’ or GFE focuses on fostering an intimate connection between partners. Here, the dominant female partner strives to cultivate a sense of love and appreciation while maintaining the capacity to enforce discipline when necessary. Techniques vary, from tender gestures to strict punishments, creating a unique balance of intimacy and dominance.

    Benefits of Engaging in Femdom POV: An Exploration of Empowerment

    Femdom POV offers a deeply empowering experience for all involved, emphasizing the importance of understanding and embracing dominant and submissive roles. This genre allows the female partner to confidently express desires within an intimate setting while exploring new boundaries alongside their partner. The resulting connection often strengthens and deepens the bond between couples, enhancing both physical and emotional intimacy.

    From a physical perspective, it provides a gratifying experience for all participants, intensifying pleasure through submission and domination. The submissive partner revels in the feeling of vulnerability, while the dominant partner creatively explores various control methods, employing body language, toys, props, and more. This heightened engagement often leads to intensely satisfying orgasms, enriching the overall pleasure experienced by both partners.

    Furthermore, it cultivates psychological benefits, fostering increased confidence and self-esteem. By taking charge during intimate moments, femdoms revel in the empowerment of directing their own pleasure, thus contributing to a more fulfilling and confident sexual experience.


    The Soaring Popularity of Femdom POV: A Glimpse into Modern Desires

    The popularity of Femdom POV videos can be attributed to a burgeoning interest in exploring diverse sexual activities. More individuals are willing to experiment with BDSM, making these videos increasingly accessible and enticing. The advent of online platforms has further amplified the availability and appeal of Femdom POV videos, allowing enthusiasts to explore their fantasies with ease.

    Beyond mere gratification, Femdom POV videos serve as educational resources, enlightening viewers about various aspects of BDSM. These videos offer insights into safety protocols and introduce a myriad of techniques, guiding individuals who wish to delve deeper into the realm of dominance and submission.

    Navigating the Complexities of Femdom POV: Unveiling the Multifaceted Challenges

    As Femdom POV gains traction within mainstream culture, it brings forth a series of intricate challenges for those involved in its production. Let’s delve into the multifarious hurdles that come with Femdom POV and shed light on potential strategies to mitigate them.

    1. Physical Demands: The Strenuous Ballet of Eroticism

    Embarking on the journey of Femdom POV demands a significant physical toll from the female performers. Engaging in arduous activities like wrestling and simulated sex scenes necessitates endurance and strength. It is imperative for these performers to maintain peak physical condition to execute these scenes safely, ensuring the well-being of both themselves and their partners. Additionally, the elaborate rope bondage techniques, prevalent in many popular Femdom POV scenes, require mastery, practice, and finesse to be performed safely and effectively.

    2. The Intricacies of Psychological Readiness: Embracing the Dominant Narrative

    Stepping into the realm of Femdom POV necessitates a psychological shift for all participants involved. The woman, often assuming a dominant role, must navigate the complexities of this persona. For those lacking natural experience in dominance or harbouring negative associations due to societal conditioning or past relationship dynamics, embodying this role presents a formidable challenge. On the other hand, the man must psychologically prepare himself to surrender his body completely to the control of another during specific scenes, an endeavour that can prove daunting without proper mental preparation.

    Conclusion

    Diving into the realms of contemporary adult entertainment, femdom porn has witnessed a staggering surge in popularity in recent years. Its allure lies in the intricate power dynamics it explores, offering viewers an unparalleled and taboo fantasy experience. This genre serves as a liberating gateway for individuals to navigate the intricacies of their desires without societal judgment, fostering self-discovery and a deeper understanding of their own sexuality. Despite the potential risks associated with engaging in this form of content, for those with an open mind and a willingness to explore, femdom porn can be an exhilarating voyage into the uncharted territories of eroticism.

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  • Exploring the Depths of the FM Spanking Fetish

    Exploring the Depths of the FM Spanking Fetish

    In the intimate world, an FM spanking fetish empowers the female over the male but pleases both parties. But what is a fetish, and why does it pleasure a soul?

    The Definition of a Fetish

    A fetish is more than a person’s preference for something. A fetish is an obsession with a particular object or activity that someone has that greatly intrigues and sexually gratifies them. This fixation erotically arouses someone, though the thing or action does not necessarily pertain to an erogenous body part. For example, shoes or feet may arouse an individual and cause them to fantasize about a sexual scenario involving those objects.

    Features of a Fetish

    A fetish has a psychological background. Fetishes can have roots in early childhood and conditioning before people become conscious of their sexuality. A fetish can surface during a person’s sexual development stage.

    If a person develops a fetish during early childhood, it is likely the result of an experience that later becomes a coping mechanism. If a person develops a fixation through conditioning, the person has paired a neutral stimulus with something that causes arousal. For instance, a neutral stimulus can be an article of clothing, such as a hat, and the activity could be kissing. Suppose a man sees a particular cap on a woman and kisses her. This incident can result in him getting aroused every time the woman wears that hat.

    The Spanking Fetish

    Spanking is a form of foreplay that has arched into the fetish category as it can arouse excitement in all parties involved. As a fetish, spanking can bring mutual pleasure for the spanker or the spankee. Dominance and submission are two characteristics of the spanking fetish, and they create a framework of strength, trust, and vulnerability.

    FM spanking is a subset of spanking wherein a female creates a new dynamic by exercising dominion and authority over a male. Either the female or the male can possess the fetish. If the female exhibits the obsession, she finds pleasure in spanking a male, gratifying her emotional and sexual feelings. The action gives her power over the man, but they should lovingly conduct the spanking session and keep their spirits uplifted with kisses and sweet remarks. Spanking is a sensory action that can result in injury if the FM duo does not heed how much force the female uses in spanking the male.

    When a male has an FM spanking fetish, he gives his authority over to the female and lets her take charge of his body. Although the female is conducting the spanking, the male has a say as to what degree he wants her to spank him. The male can dictate when he wants the spanking to stop or the intensity to increase. However, the male does have pain tolerance, and the female needs to be mindful of signs she needs to ease her strikes, such as broken skin and bruising.

    Male and female partners can perform FM spanking to spark an intimate session as foreplay. The activity is for the satisfaction of the one with the fetish. Consent is necessary regardless of who has the obsession, and the female must be aware of the area she is hitting. If she hits too far up, she could risk injuring the male’s kidneys.

    Gentle Upkeeping

    After an FM spanking fetish is satisfied, upkeeping is vital to strengthening the connection between consorts while rejuvenating their physical and emotional states. Upkeeping can involve massages, quality time, and snuggling so that partners reconnect with each other on a deep level.

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  • What To Know About Spanking (aka Domestic Discipline) & Corporal Punishment

    What To Know About Spanking (aka Domestic Discipline) & Corporal Punishment

    Although I was a late bloomer to kink (began kink at 34), I’ve been a fully submerged lifestyler since finding the scene in 2006. I loved it so much, I began doing this professionally soon after. Although I’m a Professional Top, I am a lifestyle switch, a heavy masochistic bottom hides underneath the strict Lady Dom persona. I love everything about the kink lifestyle, the protocols, the structure, the sensations and most of all, the connection with others of like mind.  

    What Is Corporal Punishment?

    Corporal punishment refers to the more traditional ways of punishing a human being. Spanking, paddling, strapping, caning and in some cases, whipping to inflict pain after a misdeed or misbehavior is committed.

    In some advanced cases, corporal punishment can refer to psychological punishment as well, or The Mindfuck. I like to explore both with advanced players.

    Why I Love Corporal Punishment

    I’ve been fascinated by punishment, torture and rites of passage since I was a kid. Ordeals and trials, ways to earn maturity and respect from others, pushing our bodies to the absolute brink of what we can take in order to meet a goal, achieve a higher calling or elevate ones lot in life was huge for me, and I’ve been pushing myself in ways since childhood. CP illustrates just how resilient the human body is, and how we can always learn if presented with motivation strong enough.

    How Spanking Fits Into Corporal Punishment

    Spanking, otherwise known as Domestic Discipline, is the more family and academic oriented types of punishment. OTK (over the knee) is called the Mother’s Position in French, and it belies a nurturing type of, “I don’t want to do this but it’s for your own good” type of authority figure.

    Corporal punishment on the other hand, is decidedly more adult and refers to a cold judicial type of attitude on the part of the punisher. CP is more popular with criminal and interrogation types of emotionless scenes.

    Correct Techniques To Spank

    There are many techniques people use to spank, and there is really no right way or wrong way for people to spank with their hands as long as it works for them. What makes a spanking “wrong” is hitting the wrong area or target. You don’t wish to “wrap” around with hand or implement, and you don’t want to spank too high above the butt crack, or too low on the thighs. Keeping things to the apples of the cheeks, or the sit spot (the crease where butt meets thigh) is always good form.

    I love to give a good hand spanking, but my favorite tools are longer ones, like canes and straps. I prefer the challenge it takes to wield a whip over shorter range toys like hairbrushes or wooden spoons.

    What You Should Know Before Being Spanked

    Your top should discuss with you what you’re looking for, because there are so many different ways to spank, you might not be referring to the same thing when you say “I want to be spanked”. Most spankings hurt at some level, and most people expect them to hurt, although there are non-traditional types of spankings that don’t involve pain.

    Start out slowly, with a hand spanking over your underwear. Get comfortable with your top and the sensation before trying implements or positions. Focus on what it feels like at first, don’t rush into an elaborate role play and get overwhelmed. Respond naturally, don’t try and hold things back, your voice and body language is being read by your top to assess where you are at.

    Have fun, above all else. 😀

    Miss Chris – An independent Professional Disciplinarian based out of Phoenix, AZ. She specializes in spanking, domestic discipline, corporal punishment and role play scenarios. She is also a Certified Life Coach (“Kink eCoach”), BnB Hostess, Spank University Party Group Founder and Spankademy Headmistress.

    Follow Miss Chris on

    Website: https://www.missschris.com

    Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/MissChrisTexasToys

    Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/Dominurtrix

    Fetlife: https://fetlife.com/users/63676

    Upcoming Travels: Dulles VA in July, Los Angeles CA in August, Nashville TN in September, Chicago IL in October.

    Article images courtesy of Miss Chris, featured image from Shutterstock

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  • What Does BDSM stands for? (Part 3)

    What Does BDSM stands for? (Part 3)

    Are you kinky?

    You find out when the regular sex just doesn’t float your boat anymore. You begin to seek out alternative pleasure sources.

    The more open-minded, willing, curious you are, the most chance you have to find what erotic desires, fetishes, kinky games to get your panty soaked. Being kinky is a bit naughty, almost socially forbidden and so freaking sexy (if you ask me). You start to explore new ideas in the bedroom by opening up your body, mind and soul for new erotic pleasures. You start to notice new things and desires about yourself. You feel to expand your knowledge on the topic try these few ideas for beginners in BDSM:

    3 Softcore BDSM practise for beginners:

    -Tie & Tease:

    It’s a light form of BDSM sex. Ideal for beginners, because you can try without any particular setup or equipment. It’s a practice of one tying up the hands, legs or the whole body. It can be performed on the bed, tied up to the door or using restrainers. Tying your hands behind your back. Use a few tie and attach those hands to the bed. The one who does the tease would be the Dominant ( active person who is in control) and whom the bondage will be performed will be the passive or Submissive in this play. The dominant will tease the partner until a point where they get so excited that they could have an orgasm. Tease could happen by using feather, silk, wax or simply by touching the body.

    The tied partner is usually stimulated repeatedly without relief. By carefully varying the intensity of stimulation, the passive partner is held in this highly-aroused state near orgasm. The tied partner’s urge to orgasm can become overwhelming.

    If the tied partner is allowed to climax it may be stronger than usual due to the increased tension and arousal that builds up during the extended stimulation. The tied partner may also instead be denied orgasm or be given a ruined orgasm in which case they will feel strong feelings of sexual frustration.

    Extra tip: Use Blindfold

    Advance tip: Use a mouth gag or/and some sex toys on the submissive during the scene to increase sensations. 

    Spanking:

    Spanking can also be performed without no equipment, just by using your palms.

    If you liked the test-drive with the hands, you could always get a paddle, wooden stick, crop, but my experience hands would do just fine.

    How to do it: You can bend over to your partner’s lap. It’s super stimulating while you are spanking to have nasty dirty things said to you. Example: “You have been a naughty, dirty little girl/boy. You deserve to be punished. At this point, you should spank the buttock. Starting light intensity and as the sexual tension grows to bring more power into your hits too.

    Tip: You can play a school-girl/boy-teacher scene here.

    The teacher can drop the chalk down to the floor. Demanding the schoolgirl to pick it up, who refuse this. It will generate the punishment. Be creative and improvise. Keep talking and let your imagination fly so the fun could be greater during the play.

    If you are new to spanking, always ask your partner, if she/he is okay with the strength and the way of spanking. It’s super important to playing safe and doing things that will bring pleasure to both.

    Facesitting (eating out a girl):

    This is one of my favourite BDSM activity. You can perform it together with a sensual tie and tease. Tie your man up to the bed. Rub your body against his. Stimulate his erogenic zones. Stroke his genitals, tease him with words and gentle touches around the body.  Standing on top of him ( very empowering feeling, ladies!) spread your legs wide across in front of his face. Show him your panties under that short mini-skirt. Make him want to pull that tiny pantie away to see and taste your lotus flower. Be sensual, seduce and play with him. It’s your time to be in control. Let me know if he is going to be a good boy, but only then he might taste your juices. Keep eye-contact when talking down to him. Show him that you are a strong, confident, sexy women who knows what she wants. Man would go crazy from this. As in their nature to be dominant, powerful and now they all tied up in your hand.

    Slowly squat down to your man’s mouth. Tease him more by touching rubbing your clit through your panties. Ask them: if he wants to lick or eat your pussy out? (Always use language you feel comfortable with!)

    Be sure at this point they are ready to beg to taste you.  You’ve decided how long you will keep teasing him. Once you feel willing to give in and let him taste your juices. Remove your panties, or just you can just sit on his face still wearing your panties. I would do the second option to arouse more the sexual tension and desire. Demand him to smell your pussy, but tell him straight if he still can’t taste it. You can order him to inhale your smell. 

    Slide your panties away and let him taste your pussy.

    Be confident. You are in charge. You are the goddess who needs to be nurtured, loved and worshipped. You set the rhythm, time and intensity of this play. Have fun with it and let him eat your pussy like as a hot cake until you are so satisfied that you can move to the next step.

    Advanced Tips:

    Breath control play while face-sitting

    Sit on your partner’s face, covering up all face, including the nose too. Count to 10 and release. Breath control if done correctly could be a euphoric sensation for man while licking pussy. ( For more advanced pussy eaters sit on it until he starts struggles under you!)

    How to set up your BDSM scene / Fantasy Play?

    What is a fantasy game? Otherwise, also called role-play. Where you and your partner create characters, create a scenario and play it out with a sexual outcome.

    Have you ever wanted to be an actor/actress?

    Here is your chance to shine!

    It’s similar like attending a psychodrama class. You can channel your inner desires and become anyone for the act.

    The most common erotic plays are the doctor/patient, boss/secretary, teacher/ student but you can create your own.

    Personally, I got a fetish for suits. Yeah, as crazy it sounds I love dark blue suits with crisp ironed white shirt. It immediately symbolises status and power and brings eroticism into my mind.

    BDSM is all about the power dynamic. You need to do some erotic experiments and see what triggers you.

    When I play, I like to dress up as a secretary. The scenario would be that I’m negligent in my work and my boss catches me doing something else then work during work hours. He obliges me to his office. He commands me to crawl on the floor to his legs or ask me to bend over the table. Telling me how bad I’m in my work and if I want to keep it better try to please him somehow. Otherwise, he will punish me being such a naughty negligent worker. And the story goes on and on. It’s up to your fantasy now to complete it. 🙂

    Corporate punishment (spanking) if done with ‘mindfuck’ could be such a freeing sexual experience! It triggers within me the need to please him and order to keep my job. I’m willing to do whatever it takes. Don’t we all women, just born with a high need to please man? Why not make this human need a playful BDSM act?

    Hope this article helped you to have a wider knowledge of BDSM sex and courage to give it a try!? Let me know if you do! I would love hearing about all it!

    Keep safe and be Naughty,

    Xoxo

    Alexandra Holovitz is a tantric sex coach & hypnotherapist. She is known for her honest, passionate and authentic coaching style. 

    She works with high achieving men in their 40′ helping them to heal, express and empower thought tantra, mindset and self-compassion. 

    She believes in holistic healing (mind-body-soul) and by awakening sexual energy to thrive in life and business with deep connection, love and sexual liberation! 

    You can learn more about her work at www.alexandra.guru and connect with her via  Instagram.

    Follow Alexandra on:

    Work with me: https://www.alexandra.guru/work-with-me/

    Instagram: www.instagram.com/alexandra_guru

    Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/sexyliberation

    Promo: https://www.alexandra.guru/sex-master-hypnosis ( this is a self-study Hypno bundle for more confidence) 

    Featured image courtesy of Shutterstock

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  • What Does BDSM stand for? (Part 1)

    What Does BDSM stand for? (Part 1)

    Bondage & Discipline

    Domination & Submission

    Sadism & Masochist

    These are the three core concepts when we talk about BDSM. These days there are a lot of erotic myths, bad rep and press and a massive interest, curiosity going around when BDSM comes up. It’s all because of the whole 50 Shades of Grey phenomenon. Most people assume BDSM it’s all about violence, abuse, pain, hurting the other, however this could not be further from the truth of the real BDSM (sex) experience. Kinky people use BDSM sex mainly to supplement their regular sexual life with some erotic kinky edging and bringing more sexual pleasure with some kink such as bondage, domination and submission role-play and power games.

    A lot of people seem to think that BDSM requires you to use whips, chains, handcuffs or to have extreme violence, pressured rules and sort of other weird stuff.  BDSM sex and the lifestyle is about using pleasures, sensations, mental and emotional triggers to a point where you can generate more fun, joy and europhile in your partner. During BDSM sex you learn to penetrate, awaken, and stimulate the mind of an another human being.

    During BDSM sex, it does not matter how it looks from the outside; it’s more important how it feels inside, what feelings, issues coming up during the scene. That’s why communication and aftercare are crucial.

    Domination is an art of taking control, penetrate to the other’s mind, open their deepest desires up towards more pleasure. Learn to master these skills and you will easily understand people’s deepest sexual desires and will be able to bring them to another high of sexual experience. BDSM sex can be healing for some.

    The truth is that most of us already participate in some form of BDSM in our everyday life. It could be a very light BDSM activity during your traditional sex life. Example: if you are enjoying biting, scratching or having your hair pulled or have been called dirty names during sex. Some people would already consider these activities as soft-core kink. It’s BDSM for some vanilla sex lovers.

    Some people would do the above mentioned erotic behaviours and just consider it as ‘normal’.  It’s your choice to decide what BDSM is (thought your lens to this world) and if it’s for you or not?

    BDSM could have a bad rep based on people not truly understanding it. Not understanding how some erotic activities could trigger more sensations in some people’s brain.  Why would people do certain things?

    We live in a world where we constantly need to wear masks to be ‘good enough’ for our friends, family and workplace. By the end, we forget who we are and what we need sexually to be complete. BDSM and exploring your kinky side could help you understand, open up and bring up these suppressed and ignored emotions, sexual needs, which could lead you to understand and accept yourself by the core. Pain also could be the pleasure source for some. When reading and learning about BDSM, it’s important to keep an open and non-judgmental mind at all times.

    BDSM is for anyone who dares to expand their erotic horizons beyond ordinary. BDSM is for people who like intense sensations. For those who love to dance on the line between pain and pleasure. BDSM is art how to bring fantasies alive. It’s the best kink out there.

    When it comes to kinky, clarity and communication are crucial.

    As every profession or field, BDSM also has its vocabulary.

    What is kink?

    Kink refers to any activity that diverts from the ‘norm’, and it gives sexual pleasure. It’s an intimate experience, an exchange of power between people that can be physical, erotic, sensual, spiritual experience or all above.

    -Dom / Dominatrix ( active) also called Master or Top:

    An individual who create, control and actively move forward the scene by giving orders, experiments and rewards.

    -Submissive ( passive) also called Slave or Bottom:

    An individual who surrender, follow orders and gives up control to (or “intending to”) please her/his Master.

    -Switch

    A person who can be both Dominant or Submissive depending on who she/he interacts in a scene.

    – Scene:

    The actual act and place, the scenario of the play – who will do what. It’s important that before you start playing you set the rules. All participant needs to know what they will be doing and what are the boundaries.

    BDSM sex should always be:

    Safe

    Sane

    Consensual sex. 

    Safe: You don’t injure anyone. You discuss with your BDSM partner before starting a scene what is a “YES-NO-MAYBE” while playing. Partners need to communicate and agree on boundaries. What they want to experience, willing to try, outcome and what they do not want to experience at all.  Always set a safe word before starting a scene.

    Safe word can be used when things get heated.

    It could be something that stops the act entirely or just reduce the intensity. Again it all depends on the previous agreement between the parties. If you have absolute trust, you can say: no safe word, however, for this, you need to know your partner well.  When no safe word applied, there is no place to complain! Anything goes!

    Know yourself, especially if you playing with a more experienced partner. No safewords translate no taboos; anything can happen.

    Is that what you want?

    Example: You like to try sensation play on your nipples.

    The Dom starts to press, pull, twist the nipple with the tip of their fingers slowly then adding more and more pressure into the movement. Keeping eye-contact with Sub. If you are more adventurous or your level of pain tolerance is high, you can always add nipple clamps into this play. (If you haven’t got nipple clamps you can use DIY clamps, cloths-pegs!) Cloth-pegs could be applied to all areas of the body to intensify sensations.

    Sane: Keep in respect the other person’s boundaries. Don’t go overboard giving pain and don’t cause harm. Before practising any form of BDSM start from the basics. Read articles, books and try to learn so you know what are you doing. Begin exercising and evolve your technique as you developed trust. Don’t forget the more you learn, the better you get. Technicality and becoming a Master of BDSM, it does take time.

    Consensual sex:

    Both parties need to be on the same page. Need to agree and communicate prior and during the scene, express feelings and desires. BDSM sex if done right can be a unique and freeing (sexually healing) experience. When the power dynamics work well, it’s highly pleasurable for both parties. If things take off and it’s more than you expected or able to handle, it’s okay to stop. Any decision during the scene has to be respected and honoured from both sides. It’s super important to have “aftercare” after an intense session. As in regular sex, you would cuddle, in BDSM you can chat, cry or whatever feels right after. Don’t hide your feelings, express them. Remember, it’s a healing sexual experience to connect with exact sexual needs! 

    Alexandra Holovitz is a tantric sex coach & hypnotherapist. She is known for her honest, passionate and authentic coaching style. 

    She works with high achieving men in their 40′ helping them to heal, express and empower thought tantra, mindset and self-compassion. 

    She believes in holistic healing (mind-body-soul) and by awakening sexual energy to thrive in life and business with deep connection, love and sexual liberation! 

    You can learn more about her work at www.alexandra.guru and connect with her via  Instagram.

    Follow Alexandra on:

    Work with me: https://www.alexandra.guru/work-with-me/

    Instagram: www.instagram.com/alexandra_guru

    Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/sexyliberation

    Promo: https://www.alexandra.guru/sex-master-hypnosis ( this is a self-study Hypno bundle for more confidence) 

    Featured image courtesy of Shutterstock

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  • How To Have Self Bondage Fun

    How To Have Self Bondage Fun

    BDSM for me is like the deepest level of sex and intimacy.  It’s about more than basic pleasure, it’s about exploring every level of physical sensation, or controlling that sensation in others depending on what side of the leash you’re on at the moment.

    What I Love About Bondage

    Oh gods, do I have to pick just one thing?  Well, if I had to settle on one main thing I love, it would be the wild variety.  There is no one way to Dom or sub and there is no one way to get tied up.

    What Is Self Bondage?

    Well, it’s exactly what it sounds like.  Usually it involves tying yourself up or handcuffing yourself and just enjoying that sensation not helplessness.  A lot of people will add in toys as well, usually vibrators, to stimulate areas while being unable to easily remove them. 

    Self Bondage Tips For Beginners

    A lot of people shit talk fuzzy handcuffs, but to be honest, this is exactly the kind of thing they were made for.  You can pick them up in just about any adult store or section, and they have these nifty little release latches in case things go wrong or it’s just not your thing.

    As for tips, the biggest one I can give is to just relax and enjoy yourself.  This is not something you should do spontaneously, this is something you should set up a scheduled time for.  And there are a ton of websites and resources online for tips and tricks depending on your exact situation. 

    Favorite Items & Props Of Mine

    I’m a huge fan of Shibari, have been for years, so rope is my usual go-to.  As for props, there are no beating the classics, and I have yet to meet something that beats the sheer versatility of my Hitachi wand.  However, my absolute fave prop is Lola, my fucking machine and reoccurring co-star.  There is no feeling quite like being tied up and having a piston ram into you at a constant rate and rep.

    Ways To Kink Up Self Bondage

    The best way to kink up self-bondage is to add more.  Get yourself a gimp hood and go full sensory-deprivation.  Freeze the key to your cuffs in a water bottle, so you can’t get out until it melts.  Get a webcam and livestream the whole thing to your partner. Take some edibles before hand, if that’s legal in your area.  The only limit to self-bondage is your own experience and imagination.

    My name’s Roxxie Rae Page, I’m just your typical pan trans goth freak who loves dabbling in the kinkier side of things.  I’m a lifelong gamer, I love just about every genre of music, and I’m a firm believer that pineapples do in fact belong on pizza. 

    Follow Roxxie Rae Page on:

    Twitter: @EWrangler

    ManyVids: roxxie-rae-page.manyvids.com

    OnlyFans: only fans.com/roxxie-rae-page

    Images courtesy of Roxxie Rage Page

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  • What It’s Like To Be A Switch

    What It’s Like To Be A Switch

    I think discovering kink allows a lot of people to discover parts of themselves that normally society may not encourage or cannot understand. In that sense, perhaps a lot of “hardcore” kinksters are seen to live alternative lifestyles and for some part that maybe true, for others like myself, I see my lifestyle as most conventional with an underlying kinky tone rather than dictated by kink. I ride and compete my horse, I walk my dog, I do sports and art and enjoy learning … but in the right situations, I also have a lifestyle Mistress, get caned, dress up in latex and stand on men.

    It’s a delicate balance and perhaps I am not the norm in the kink or vanilla world, but does that make my lifestyle alternative? My personal thoughts on alternative lifestyles is that people should focus on being the best and happiest versions of themselves, if that involves being “alternative”, then great, do that. 

    I don’t think everyone is designed to have a conventional lifestyle that’s dictated by society’s norms. Personally, I always struggled to maintain relationships until I tried a completely D/s dynamic and realised a vanilla relationship structure was the issue, and not necessarily my ability to sustain a relationship. 

    How I First Started Exploring Kink

    Funnily enough, it took me to the age of 21 to realise being spanked, slapped, choked and tied up in the bedroom was not normal. I have always been attracted to those who can challenge me intellectually and who ooze confidence. I have also always shown submissive traits in that I am a masochist, I love making my partner happy and I have always had an ability to subtly tease (especially in vanilla settings), and combined, it’s like having a Dom-dar. 

    Realizing I Was A Switch

    I only really have started to accept my switchy side in the last few years since having a supportive partner who has encouraged me to do whatever I want to try. As someone who originally thought I was purely submissive, it has been hard to accept that around submissive men. I naturally take control of a situation and that I do enjoy playing the Dominant role in my own style. I went through a rough stage a few years ago of rejecting the switch status because I felt it made me less of a slave/sub but in reality, it is the submissive facet that enables me to switch so well.

    I can manipulate a sub easily because I can relate to their emotions in the scene, I know when they need to breathe whilst being hit or when they probably want a tender touch because I have been there myself. It took me a while to full embrace all my facets but I feel so much more at peace with myself now that I understand all my different headspaces (slave, sub, little, Domme, Brat, rope bunny etc.), how to move between them and that just because with different people I can embrace different parts of myself, it does not make the other parts any “less”. 

    Misconceptions About Being A Switch

    That being a Switch makes you less of a Domme/Sub. If anything, I think it gives you better insight and understanding into your play partner which allows for more intense interactions. It would be like saying being good at playing sports makes you a bad supporter. Also, it’s worth noting there is no one way to Dominate, no one way to submit, and there’s also no one way to switch.

    Some people can change mindsets mid-session and go from slave to head teacher. Others need clear boundaries or perhaps, only one dynamic with each play partner. Like everything in kink, there is no black/white structure, it’s just about exploring who you are, finding playmates who are into the same activities as you and having fun with it. 

    Is It Difficult To Be A Switch?

    I think knowing how to be both parts really helps the other. For example, when I am with my Mistress, I know how emotionally tiring subs can be or how it feels to have someone be bratty when you’re tired from a long day and I can use that knowledge to better myself as a sub and make Her life more enjoyable. Alternatively, when I am with boys in a more Domme mindset, I know why they might be bratting or overly emotional, I know that if their breathing is erratic, they will feel sensations differently. I know that when a sub feels vulnerable, they may not be able to ask for the hug they really need but they want it. I can use my personal experience as a sub to help me make sure that they have a magical time and that they are properly prepared for whatever I have planned because I know what it will feel like to be in their shoes.

    I don’t often switch in the same session because I personally struggle to see people on both sides of the spectrum without my mindsets leaking into each other. That said, I find those looking for switching sessions are actually looking for a playful hedonistic partner with a power struggle aspect which is something I personally love. Labels such as Domme, Sub and Switch can sometimes make it harder because not everyone truly understands what they want and a lot of my clients are more fetishists than Dommes or Subs, meaning they are looking for a more playful session that embraces their particular kinks but feel the need to catagorise themselves as Dom or Sub for the sake of labels. 

    Recommendations For Aspiring Switches

    Forget labels and just explore, you don’t have to fit into any particular box, when you can (have a consensual partner available) explore everything you’re interested in safely, you’ll start to discover your different facets and all the kinks and mindsets that you enjoy. 

    Rabbit T – I am a professional submissive who can provide the full GFE to outcalls in the London, Manchester and Bedford areas. I am not offering incalls at this time due to moving home and getting my new place organised.

    I offer kinky companion, spankee, submissive and escort services in these areas on dates according to my schedule and travel plans. Arrangements are best made in advance to ensure my availability.

    Follow Rabbit on

    Twitter: @Little_rabbit_t

    Onlyfans: @little_rabbit_t

    Website: www.down-the-rabbit-hole.co.uk

    Tours: City of London 28th – 30th April

    Images courtesy of Rabbit T

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  • What I Love About Being A Submissive

    What I Love About Being A Submissive

    Kink has always been a huge part of my life and is very close to my heart. My personal views towards life in general but also towards kink and alternate lifestyles is… Do whatever you want as long as you’re not hurting yourself or others…make sure everything is always safe, sane, and consensual. And the best way to do that is with EDUCATION!

    You cannot consent to something if you do not know what it is, which is why education is HUGE for me with BDSM. I have played as a submissive for around 10 years, as well as worked on and off camera, as a professional submissive and done sex work in general for about five years now and I am always learning and educating myself further. 

    How I Got Started Into BDSM

    I have always been into the darker things in life. Growing up I would have labeled myself as goth, and truly saw the beauty in all things dark and creepy. I have always had submissive tendencies my entire life. It might have started from watching porn as a teen; my favourite starlets were Sasha Grey and Bonnie Rotten who usually performed in very hardcore BDSM scenes, and I always thought to myself, “I WANT TO DO THAT!”

    It was my dream to become a pornstar one day, although life got in the way and I got caught up in the wonderful world of FSSW working as a professional submissive (but that’s another story for another day). I am back on track of achieving my dream to become a pornstar. My biggest goal is to work with kink.com and I’m hoping once the world settles down, that I can make this dream a reality.

    Aside from porn, Tumblr was also a huge influence on me being attracted to BDSM (I met my first “online” Dom from Tumblr) and found many more pornstars, kinks/fetishes, and BDSM education from Tumblr (like links to books, videos, and other BDSM educators) and from there I found Fetlife (if you don’t know about it, Fetlife is basically Facebook for kinky people), new partners, all while continuing to educate myself on the subject.

    My first real life Dom partner was someone I met online and probably a mistake. We both were not educated enough at the time, and a lot went wrong in that relationship. This is why I’m such a stickler for telling people that education is key to consent! You can end up in really horrible situations and get very hurt, if you’re not educating yourself before meeting someone and playing. 

    Did Being A Sub Come Naturally?

    Yes, I have always had very submissive qualities even in platonic vanilla relationships. I live to please everyone around me. I am also constantly told that “this is what I was born to do, I live to please.” by numerous people that I have encountered through out my life.

    Even my parents say “I’m great at helping people and that I love to help people”. I’m just a natural born pleaser, and I always aim to please in all aspects of my life.

    My Favorite Kinks & Fetishes

    Some of my favourite kinks/fetishes are:

    • Shoes (pleasure heels)
    • Piss play 
    • Pain play
    • Humiliation / degradation 
    • Bimbofication
    • Cuckolding 
    • Hotwifing 

    I love shoes, I only recently realized that it’s an actual fetish… I love to wear them as a form of bondage and I love to clean and lick other women’s heels, I find it degrading to be treated as less than everyone else and to serve “real women” by licking their heels clean. Plus with my oral fixation, I love to deepthroat and gag on women’s heels. I don’t know why, I just love it! I guess it’s the degradation that really gets me going. Which is another big one for me.

    I love being humiliated and degraded, and doing things publicly is my favourite. I love when everyone is staring at me and freaking out, and I guess I’m just an attention whore at heart. I love anything to do with pee play, getting peed on, drinking it, pissing myself, I love all of it. It makes me feel dirty and used in ways that other fluids just can’t LOL.

    Bimbofication for me just goes hand in hand with humiliation and degradation, being a goth slut forced to look like a pretty Barbie, is probably the best humiliation punishment you can give me.  

    Hotwifing is similar to cuck holding, except my partner is not a cuck. They enjoy watching me act like a slut and I do not humiliate them in anyway. For cuckolding I enjoy being the cuck, I like to watch my Dom or partner be with other women, it’s a huge turn on for me.

    Lastly, pain play. I think it basically comes with the territory of being a submissive but I truly get a release and high after doing a very intense scene. It’s almost like an out of body experience and I live for that feeling. Just like an athlete, I’m always trying to push myself and my limits always trying to do better and achieve more. It really is like a sport for me. 

    How I Explored My Limits & Knowledge

    I’m constantly educating myself every day, as you can never stop learning. I am always watching videos, reading books, and attending events where I can learn more. As for IRL exploration, I only play with safe trusted and educated partners when exploring my kinks and fetishes.

    I have a long distance Dom/Top friend who used to “own” me in the submissive term. However, the distance was rough for me and we only play together when we can now. However, he is the only one I trust right now to really push my limits pain wise and see how far I can go, and this is after years of getting to know each other and a confirmed list of limits, that we always adjust as needed.

    Aside from that, I do have a few Domme female friends that have gotten to know me very well and I can always trust them to help me explore as well, and we usually play together at kink events.

    Important Tips For Submissives

    Please pleaseee educate yourself before playing. And by education I do not mean watching 50 Shades of Grey…. Actually, first of all, please wait until you’re 18+ before you start playing and exploring. I know it sucks to wait but that gives you lots of time to educate yourself and learn everything you can about BDSM before exploring in real life.

    There are many great BDSM educators on YouTube now. Evie lupine being one of my favourites. Although online content is great for education, please also read books, and if you can find your local dungeon and take some classes. Education is key to consent because you can’t consent to something if you don’t know what it is.

    If you make an account on Fetlife you can find local events, dungeons and education classes in your area. It’s a great tool to find events where you can educate yourself and explore. Please please please for the love of Satan, do not treat Fetlife as a dating website. I don’t recommend meeting people of Fetlife. Use it to find events and education classes in your area, and meet people that way (and then you can add each other on Fetlife of course)

    But please, it is not a dating website so don’t treat it as such, and I can promise you the people that don’t follow this rule on Fetlife are not the people you want to be “meeting” or “exploring” with. There are dangerous people all over the internet, that’s why education is key!

    Vera Lynn – Toronto’s favourite submissive fetish model. She ditched the 9-5 lifestyle to enjoy a happy life working as an Adult content creator, fetish model, and professional submissive. In her spare time She loves learning more about BDSM, attending BDSM / fetish events, and going to concerts with her friends.

    For all my online content and submissive / kinky stuff you can follow me as Vera Lynn. I’m vl_fetmodel on every platform and you can find photo shoots and links to all my content platforms on my website VeraLynn.ca

    Website: veralynn.ca

    Twitter: @vl_fetmodel

    Instagram: @vl_fetmodel 

    Images courtesy of Vera Lynn

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  • How To Explore Discipline With A Mistress

    How To Explore Discipline With A Mistress

    BDSM and kink are totally different animals; one is about self-expression and the other is about self-repression. You can think kinky thoughts, wear kinky clothes, do some kinky stuff….but it’s all about perception. In fashion, kink is kind of where avant garde fashion starts. It’s the frontier between the judgment of a person and a community, a status quo and change. BDSM is all about the relationship between two people, based on trust, acceptance, and deep emotional, really, turmoil. The bikini began as kink. New fashion is kink. A spanking is always BDSM. Interest in either or both is probably fetish.

    Fetish is wonderful; it is self-expression. Kink is a description of non-mainstream and should be harmless, but God only knows in today’s world of priggish and self-righteous political correctness. BDSM is very private, very complex, and somehow connected to deep psychological issues. Within limits of personal acceptance and common sense concerning safety, it is therapy.

    What Is Discipline & How Important Is It?

    Discipline is not kink, it is BDSM and therefore, from my perspective, a therapy. It is a salve, not a cure. It responds to a need. I have “treated” people who need to be spanked because they need expiation of their “sins”; a student who wasn’t studying hard enough.

    I once had a wife send her husband for the spanking he deserved and agreed that he deserved, but that she was uncomfortable delivering. There are a lot of mommy issues out there! Then there’s the executive who is in control all the time and just wants to be controlled.

    I practice Bondage and Discipline at the non-extreme end where emotional and physical safety are paramount. SM overlaps butt morphs toward an extreme that can become very unhealthy and even dangerous. Not what I do.

    Why Are People Into Discipline?

    As I said, I am a therapist. The key to good therapy is a form of mutual discovery and appropriate treatment given all factors. My first rule is safety, my second is understanding drivers, and my third is respecting limits.

    Caning a person who just wants OTK mommy spanks is abuse. OTK spanks is useless therapy for a person who seeks the expiation of a rubber belt thrashing. Sex is a very real part of sessioning, butt only in the mind and behind of the client. They all get aroused….yep….the girls too….and I definitely mind fuck them, but they don’t get any more of me than that. And they love it.

    No sex, a lot of vex………that’s the Dom hex.

    What Common Rules Are There?

    Rules? It’s about roles. I’m like any other therapist. I, we, they, play games to get you where we can help the most and you do what you are told. Within limits.

    If he or she wants to act up and it’s part of the role, we work it out with me maintaining control. I have had only one jerk that got out of control and that I had to throw out. 

    Explore Your Interest Now!

    People come to me for a lot of reasons, mostly that they don’t fully understand. I love the challenge of figuring out each set of mind and behind. So many different beginnings. I have a lot of repeat customers! 

    Mistress Rattan – Mistress in Toronto offering Discipline and Domination

    Follow Mistress Rattan on

    Website: https://www.mistressrattan.com/

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/miss_rattan

    Article images courtesy of Mistress Rattan, featured image from Shutterstock

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