BDSM and kink are totally different animals; one is about self-expression and the other is about self-repression. You can think kinky thoughts, wear kinky clothes, do some kinky stuff….but it’s all about perception. In fashion, kink is kind of where avant garde fashion starts. It’s the frontier between the judgment of a person and a community, a status quo and change. BDSM is all about the relationship between two people, based on trust, acceptance, and deep emotional, really, turmoil. The bikini began as kink. New fashion is kink. A spanking is always BDSM. Interest in either or both is probably fetish.
Fetish is wonderful; it is self-expression. Kink is a description of non-mainstream and should be harmless, but God only knows in today’s world of priggish and self-righteous political correctness. BDSM is very private, very complex, and somehow connected to deep psychological issues. Within limits of personal acceptance and common sense concerning safety, it is therapy.
What Is Discipline & How Important Is It?
Discipline is not kink, it is BDSM and therefore, from my perspective, a therapy. It is a salve, not a cure. It responds to a need. I have “treated” people who need to be spanked because they need expiation of their “sins”; a student who wasn’t studying hard enough.
I once had a wife send her husband for the spanking he deserved and agreed that he deserved, but that she was uncomfortable delivering. There are a lot of mommy issues out there! Then there’s the executive who is in control all the time and just wants to be controlled.
I practice Bondage and Discipline at the non-extreme end where emotional and physical safety are paramount. SM overlaps butt morphs toward an extreme that can become very unhealthy and even dangerous. Not what I do.
Why Are People Into Discipline?
As I said, I am a therapist. The key to good therapy is a form of mutual discovery and appropriate treatment given all factors. My first rule is safety, my second is understanding drivers, and my third is respecting limits.
Caning a person who just wants OTK mommy spanks is abuse. OTK spanks is useless therapy for a person who seeks the expiation of a rubber belt thrashing. Sex is a very real part of sessioning, butt only in the mind and behind of the client. They all get aroused….yep….the girls too….and I definitely mind fuck them, but they don’t get any more of me than that. And they love it.
No sex, a lot of vex………that’s the Dom hex.
What Common Rules Are There?
Rules? It’s about roles. I’m like any other therapist. I, we, they, play games to get you where we can help the most and you do what you are told. Within limits.
If he or she wants to act up and it’s part of the role, we work it out with me maintaining control. I have had only one jerk that got out of control and that I had to throw out.
Explore Your Interest Now!
People come to me for a lot of reasons, mostly that they don’t fully understand. I love the challenge of figuring out each set of mind and behind. So many different beginnings. I have a lot of repeat customers!
Mistress Rattan – Mistress in Toronto offering Discipline and Domination
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