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Tag: kink

  • What To Expect From Your First Rope Bottom Class

    What To Expect From Your First Rope Bottom Class

    I enjoy being tied up. With my partner we practice Japanese inspired rope bondage – Kinbaku. It started as a casual bedroom play, and developed over time into something very special – very deep and intimate way of communication between us which i cannot compare to anything else really. In Kinbaku I found a very special – ritualistic – space where i can enjoy playing with power exchange – offering  myself, surrendering  myself to the will of my partner.

    Outside of Kinbaku ritualistic space, we are a normal couple. We decide on many things together and ask each others’ advices and support. In Kinbaku space, we allow ourselves to play different roles, to open up and be vulnerable and touch on our “shadow” parts, the parts that maybe we don’t fully understand or accept about ourselves. We can play with fear and shame and other dark emotions. Sometimes, it touches some very sensitive parts.

    In Kinbaku, we use the ropes for inducing the impact on the body and mind of the person being tied – that would be me. Over time, I definitely developed a fetish for a feeling of rope on my body. I love everything about it: its smell, touch, sound, its versatility – for all the different qualities and emotions it can convey, when it’s in the hands of my partner…

    Why I Love Rope Bottoming

    In ropes, I seek to surrender. It is erotic to me, to be desired, to be taken. I enjoy being “made” into a beautiful thing for the pleasure of my rigger. I want to become a clay and I want to be touched, moved, split open, taken, rejected, objectified, worshipped, penetrated… Ultimately, I seek to surrender to the core of my being, to the point of dissolving my mental resistance and becoming nothing but a pulsating body, like one of the plants of the flower. On the way there, it might call out different emotions in me, sometimes it is hot as fuck, sometimes, it calls out a layer of deep sadness…

    We do Seme-nawa – “challenging ropes”, those that have power to move something in me, to melt me, to transform me into something else. I don’t seek pain, I do seek challenge. Challenge that brings me to my limits, to my resistance, my fears and my choices. When I’m up there and no way to move, no way to breathe properly, and my fear is so haptic – I can touch it – only choice is left to surrender to what is happening. This intensity brings me back to myself, reminding me that the truth is what I feel, not what I think I should feel. This intensity I rarely experience in “normal” life and this is one of the gifts that rope gives me. It is cleansing, and softens me.

    I think one part of this “cleansing” is about having a space for “Drama”, having a space to discharge emotions, especially dark destructive emotions, that I get to accumulate throughout the day… Anger, hate, self-hate, fear, anxiety…? We are not supposed to show such feelings in social situations, we are almost denied to have them, but they are there. It is a blessing to have a space to live them out through crying, sweating, shaking – there is a feeling of relief and lightness that often comes afterwards.

    How My Interest In Rope Bottoming Start

    My partner – who was already engaged with BDSM before – introduced me. The story was, I saw the photograph on the wall of the girl tied up – so I asked him what that was and he said, “I’ll show you, baby” and I liked what he showed me. There was something about the feeling of rope from the very first moment it touched my skin. There was something about the rope being so powerful, that it felt right for me to obey to what it wanted. I just had to follow my desire and discover more of that. This is how it started.

    At the beginning, I had a phase of confusion. At that time – almost 10 years ago – it was difficult to find any teachings, workshops or books, anything really – about rope bottoming. However, I had a very clear and strong desire for rope, I was confused in many aspects: how to handle pain or bad emotions, or how to communicate with my partner, or what exercises I needed to stay safe and healthy – not so unimportant aspects after all…

    I had to learn by doing and that wasn’t always easy. At that time, I dealt a lot with embodiment – developing a capacity for feeling inside of your own body, for living through my own body, so to say. That has changed my approach to rope bottoming – I was getting deeper and deeper into my own body, feeling my feelings, living my own “story” with rope, concentrating less on what I thought I “should” do. I hope it makes sense! For me it was a turning point in my rope bottoming. This is also the journey that I write in my book about.

    Reasons Beginners Should Join A Rope Bottoming Class To Learn

    For several reasons… First of all, raising the awareness and the self-responsibility – in rope bondage, being tied up, we are not a “passive” object, but there are always shared risks and shared responsibility with the rigger. For instance, when it comes to safety. The technical skills of the rigger are of course very important, but they just don’t feel your limps the way you feel them. Therefore, it is also your own responsibility to learn what you can do to stay safe and healthy when playing with rope bondage.

    When it comes to rope bottoming, I believe this is a somatic practice. It is something that we learn with our bodies, over time. And that with a bit of effort and exercise, you can improve and deepen your own experience.

    I don’t think one has to attend the bottoming classes in order to be tied up. One can do just fine without it. However, I think there is not enough awareness of how much learning actually there is possible if one wants to take rope bottoming seriously and advance on this pathway. I have often heard rope bottoms saying, “I started as a rope bottom, but then I wanted to grow, so I started to tie”. I don’t think that becoming a rigger is the only possibility to grow for the rope bottom. I think there is a lot to learn and to discover on the pathway of “just” being a rope bottom.

    I believe, “good” rope bottoming takes time, practice, and patience. Good, in a sense, that it’s fulfilling, enriching, and deep play – for yourself and your partner. That’s just my personal opinion.

    It is not just something that your rigger brings to you or “does” with you. You, your attitude, your mindset also will affect the session tremendously. You co-create the sessions together with your partner. 

    My teaching for bottoms is not aiming for the “right answer for everybody”, but rather about assisting you to find right answers in your body. We are unique and our reasons, why and how we enjoy the rope, are very different. There is not “one answer fits all” approach. Rather the intention of going deeper with yourself.

    How A Typical First Session Is Like

    The first session in ropes? I guess that can look very different as people are different… there is not really such a thing as a “typical” session I would say. People have very different desires and intentions for playing with ropes. How about instead, I could share my suggestions for those who are new, what they could do to enjoy the first session and avoid having a bad experience.

    Slow down! Learn properly how your body reacts in ropes before increasing the intensity – by going in the air, for instance. Many want to experience the suspension right away. I believe, if you take it slow in the beginning, you grow your self-trust and self-knowledge, that would later allow you to “relax” into and really enjoy the suspension later.

    Go slow, do less. Define what your comfort zone is (the amount of impact that you are pretty sure you can process) and communicate it as your limit. For instance, this sounds to me like a reasonable limit for a very first session: short (10-15 minutes); low intensity: floor work, no suspension; just 1-2 ropes, without gagging and blindfolding. You will get enough of the impact to process, believe me!

    You can always be tied up again, but you won’t be able to reverse something that was too much. Take your time to integrate, up to a few days. You will feel how your body and your mind react, what is happening with you afterwards. 

    Advice For My Rope Bottoming Classes

    Some more advices for the beginners, maybe?..

    Learn from the beginning to show up in the process. I do not mean to take a control of the session. By showing up, I really mean expressing yourself, how you feel, what is happening with you: physically, emotionally.

    Develop your way of expressing yourself depending on what feels natural to you, so that you keep your rigger in the loop as to how you are doing, using your tone of voice, breathing, moaning, making sounds, movements, you can let them know when you are close to the limit. Generally, if you don’t show up in the process, you risk that your partner will do too much or too little…

    Natasha NawaTaNeko is an accomplished rope bottom and educator – together with her partner @discoverkinbaku they teach and perform internationally. In Kinbaku, Natasha is looking for true emotions and authenticity and sees rope bondage as deeply intimate and erotic practice that has also a profound transformational potential. Natasha recently published a book sharing her experience with being tied up: “Somatics for Rope Bottoms”.

    Follow Natasha on

    Websites:

    www.RopeSomatics.com

    www.DiscoverKinbaku.com

    There is a book I wrote about rope bottoming and its potential for personal, intimate self-inquiry: called “Somatics for Rope Bottoms”. The book consists of 12 essays – Somatic Inquiries – inspiring the readers to look for the answers in their own body and re-claim their agency for the most important decisions that come up when we decide to explore kink. The book is available for purchase on Amazon in both Paperback and E-book formats.

    I also offer coaching for rope bottoms if they like to tackle specific topics they are struggling with, also online through Skype. The information can be found on my website RopeSomatics.com

    Images from @discoverkinbaku

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  • What It’s Like To Be A Slave

    What It’s Like To Be A Slave

    Kink, BDSM and submission are an integral part to my identity and it’s not something I just practice in the bedroom. It’s a lifestyle and I would be deeply unhappy if I ignored this part of myself.

    My Journey Into Kink…

    I already had submissive desires when I was still a child. I noticed this when playing games like cops and robbers, as I liked getting chased and caught and I had fantasies about being tied up or restrained. At first, I didn’t know what this meant. Though I realized rather quickly that it wasn’t ‘normal’ for everyone to feel like this.

    I struggled with insomnia from a young age and my parents gave me a television so I could watch something to help me fall asleep. So on one night that I couldn’t sleep, I ended up on a sex documentary in which a woman was trying to spice up her sex life. She went to a rather big sex store, visited a dungeon and tried out a kidnapping scenario. At some point, the term kink was mentioned and suddenly I had something to identify with.  

    I remember playing with my Lego one day and as I tied this tiny Lego man I realized I was way too young to be involved in anything kinky. Simultaneously, I felt like my thoughts and desires were disgraceful and told myself that no one could ever find out. I was really afraid of what would happen if my parents knew so I tried to bury my feelings and forget I ever had them.

    I was able to repress my desires for months at a time but no matter what I did, they would always resurface. I found that it was easiest for me if I didn’t think about kink at all but when I did, I would go onto the internet and read erotica or search in forums.

    I hated being restricted by my age and literally counted down the years until I turned 18. Luckily, I was able to legally join another BDSM site when I was 16, where I got to speak to a Dom of around my age and who lived in my local area. He set me some tasks and I tried candle wax for the first time but I soon realized I identified as a lesbian and it didn’t feel right continuing a D/s type thing with him.

    I couldn’t get in contact with any female dominants and stopped looking until I was 18 and able to join Collarme and Fetlife. Over the years, I spoke to a lot of accounts and people on the internet but none of those ever turned into what I hoped. The real change came for me when I went to a kink event at the start of 2020. Here, I was finally able to meet real people who were open minded and had some form of interest in kink that I could relate to.

    What It Means To Be A Slave

    I never thought I was a slave and was very opposed to the idea of being one whenever anyone suggested I might be. In my mind, a slave was someone who had no mind of her own and would follow all commands without question. I have my own opinions, likes and dislikes and didn’t want to be like that. While I was 100% certain of my submissive nature, being a slave went a bit too far.

    The first time I spoke to a Mistress (when I was 18), she suggested I might be a slave after speaking to me for just a few days. I disagreed to some extend, arguing I had my own will and thus she called me a Slave, specifically with a capital S. When she said that I paused and opened up to the idea slightly. Maybe being a slave didn’t mean having to be mindless?

    We lost touch and for a few years, I forgot about kinky terms completely, though remained certain I wanted to be someone’s submissive. It wasn’t until I started speaking to an online dominant when I was 22 that the term slave came up again. Similarly to the Mistress I’d spoken to, this dominant thought there was no question about my nature as a slave but once again, I was very reluctant to agree.

    I think I was scared of the meaning of the word and what this would say about me. I was raised to be a strong and independent woman, yet here I was, craving to let someone else take control and to put their desires above mine. It was only after someone consistently showed me that it’s okay to have these desires that I was able to start accepting myself. 

    One of the tasks I was once set was to write the word slave on each of my wrists and to keep it there for an entire day. I went to the shop with my mum that day and felt incredibly self-conscious about my little secret. However, I was surprised to find that it made me feel good and even a little aroused, rather than anxious or embarrassed. This was one of the first moments that I felt connected to the term and in extension to a part of myself that I’d been repressing for so long.

    I didn’t completely settle on wanting to be a slave then. Instead, I decided to simply see where things would take me. I did several tasks and explored different things and naturally found that I was rather suited to being a slave. I fully started identifying with the term when I stopped feeling ashamed and accepted myself for who I am.

    My Experience & Sessions

    I write about most of the tasks and sessions I’ve done on my blog. These have included needles, hot sauce, staples or even simply writing lines but I can share something I haven’t written about yet.

    The second time I got to play with my current Mistress in person, she took me through two rooms in a dungeon and we did a few different things, first using a cross, then a suspension frame for a crotch rope and a spanking bench. All of it was fun, and then she sat down somewhere, took off her shoes and said it was time for me to lick her feet now. I don’t have a foot worship fetish at all, nor do I particularly like feet. She made a point of having worked out in her shoes that day, meaning her feet were smelly so I could clean them now. So I kneeled by her side and started licking / sucking her feet, which I’d never done before for anyone. And so my mind switched between worrying about whether I was doing it right and between the realisation that I was licking someone’s feet, which did in fact smell a little. Yet as I was doing it, and upon realising that I was actively pleasing her, I noticed that I enjoyed it and naturally slipped into my role as a slave.

    People often ask me what I’m into and my interests are very broad. However, the thing I enjoy most is pleasing my Mistress, even if that’s through something I personally dislike doing, such as pleasing her feet.

    Misconceptions About Slaves

    The biggest misconception I’m constantly faced with comes from people who say that my sexuality doesn’t matter because I’m a slave. In other words, even though I’m a lesbian, they claim I should serve men the same way I can serve women (sexually and non-sexually). And so the real misconception here is that I don’t have a choice because I’m a slave.

    People think that being a slave means you can be used by anyone and should be grateful if someone does. Everyone forgets that I choose to submit and that I choose the person who I submit to. I only choose to be the slave of said person and we make our own arrangements within that dynamic.

    Advice & Tips To Explore Being A Slave

    If there is one thing I wish I had done sooner, it’s attending local munches and kink events. My advice to anyone looking to explore kink is therefore be to attend local events, as this will hopefully provide you with a community. When you’re new to kink and interested in exploring the role of a slave, you can be very vulnerable and unfortunately, there are a lot of people out there looking to take advantage of you.

    You can help prevent this from happening by surrounding yourself with the right people and in the local community people are being held accountable and can’t hide behind a screen. Of course, this is not possible at the moment so in the meantime, I would suggest having a look at different resources on the internet. I believe blogs in particular can be very valuable, as you’ll find ‘normal’ people writing about their experiences with kink and you can join in with the conversation.

    My biggest tip is to try and connect with people, as they will help you embrace the wonderful lifestyle you might have been ashamed of all this time.

    I’m ML, a 25-year old lesbian slave and blog about my journey. Roxy is my Mistress and I’m very excited to explore this new chapter with her. I’m a masochist and star in corporal punishment clips, such as caning, whipping and spanking. Please contact me if you are interested in a custom or want to hire me. Lastly, please check out my Onlyfans

    Follow MLSlavePuppet on

    Website: https://mlslavepuppet.com/

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/MlSlave

    OnlyFans: https://onlyfans.com/mlslavepuppet

    Clips4Sale: https://www.clips4sale.com/studio/150803/mlslavepuppet

    I take custom video requests and can be hired for video projects with others.

    For custom videos, https://twitter.com/Carnalfilms

    Images from MLSlavePuppet

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  • How To Explore My Foot & Shoe Fetish

    How To Explore My Foot & Shoe Fetish

    My personal thoughts towards BDSM and kink: It is about trust, playing with creativeness, allowing you to explore and communicating the needs and desires of your fetish and fantasies to create personalized experiences in a D/s relationship.

    BDSM is not just showing how powerful Dominatrix are, it is about transforming submission into a freedom. A freedom to enjoy and experience this magnificent feeling of submission towards a person whom you don’t know, but trust him/her with your fetish and fantasies.

    How I Started Into The World Of Kink

    It was started when my friend introduced me to a Dominatrix woman based in Singapore, Mistress Airah, and during my training with her, I met this American man at Clarke Quay Bay Singapore. He was into foot and shoe fetishes which before, I had no idea that someone would have this kind of fetish.

    So since then, I started exploring the kink side of me. Studying more about the different kind of fetishes, and how I can execute them during my sessions with him. We get along so well and we travel together and he will buy new shoes and will worship me even in public areas, inside taxis, inside elevators,and restaurants etc.

    I explore kink in more creative ways and any filthy thoughts I think when it comes to his fetish, which are the fetishes I also love and enjoy, which he will do without hesitation.

    My Journey Towards Being A Pro Domme

    My journey was not really easy at first since I was leading a double life as an office lady by day and a Dominatrix by night or during my free time. And even when I started, I felt that I didn’t have the power to transform myself into a Dominatrix, but eventually, I started to love and discover that I had this side of personality that was hidden. Maybe because I was brought up in a very strict and conservative family and every mistake you had there had a punishment and consequence, and even in the school I was studying before.

    My style or way of session is to empower my slave in becoming the other person they want to be. Most of them are nervous, specially the beginners or newbies but I encourage them to release their inner self and fantasies as I am here to guide them every step of the way and I know they are unique and so my sessions should be too so I have to be creative most of the time.

    Foot & Shoe Fetish Misconceptions

    The misconceptions I hear about foot and shoe fetishes specially to a newbie slave who wants to try it or is curious about it, is that they think it’s weird, that they are perverted to have that kind of fetish and they might have a psychological problem.

    But in reality, they are just a person who has a preference like anyone else that happens to be less common than the traditional choices in sexual intercourse. They have this specific object or body part that they need for sexual satisfaction for them to experience pleasure and orgasm while worshiping someones’ feet and shoes.

    How Popular Are Foot & Shoe Fetishes?

    From my experience, since I started offering foot and shoe fetishes sessions way back in 2012 in Singapore and Dubai, or when I travel to Europe. They are becoming more popular as majority of my clients or subs are into foot and shoe fetishes.

    What I like about this fetish is that they see it like a Goddess’ feet that is needed to be worshiped all the time, 24 hours a day. They buy new shoes, new boots, new nail polish, etc. And looking at their eyes while they are under my feet feels incredible, that one part of my body many men adore, care and worship my precious feet. Also, the fact that my beautiful feet are earning some cash for me, can you imagine that?!

    Tips For Beginners

    For someone new and looking to explore foot and shoe fetishes, they must do their own research about it and if they feel they are ready for that, they have a choice to ask their girlfriend, or wife or even contact a pro-Domme offering foot or shoe fetishes for them to experience it to themselves.

    If they have decided to go for a pro-Domme like me, I usually start from the beginning to ask them to kneel and kiss my shoes, let them feel and familiarize with the smell and ask them to remove my shoes. But they should ask me for permission first, so then I know that they are ready to explore more and are ready to surrender and be under my mercy.  

    Don’t Be Afraid To Try It Out!

    My tips to those looking to explore foot and shoe fetishes and understand what this fetish is about is to ask yourself if are you into it or just curious about it. Because you never know what to expect or what can happen to you during a session. You might have some dirty shoes filthy with dog shit and the Mistress will ask you to lick it and yet you might not like it. So make sure you are ready for it and inform the Mistress what are your do’s and don’ts before you will attend the session.

    Most of all, enjoy the process of worshiping womens’ feet because that is the most unexplainable feelings in the world of submission in BDSM.

    Mistress Cruwella – The Asian Dominatrix in Asia, Middle East, UK and Europe. 

    I am your Mistress that can turn you into Sluts, Perverts and can give you two types of pain…One that hurts you and the other that changes you!!

    As much as my profession is about my entertainment and pleasure, I am looking for  men who can crawl before me on a daily basis literally do anything I ask and they can perform like sluts, slaves, sissies or whatever else my dirty mind can think of at any given moment.   

    Follow Mistress Cruwella on

    Website: https://ladywella.com

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressWella

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mistresscruwella/

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DominatrixWella

    Other Links: https://allmylinks.com/ladywella

    Upcoming Tours: I will be in Slovakia and Austria around February 2021 for 1 month. For booking please email me ladywella4u@gmail.com

    Images from Mistress Cruwella

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  • How To Serve A Pro Dominatrix Properly

    How To Serve A Pro Dominatrix Properly

    I see BDSM as a sane way to subvert power relations, because in BDSM, there is a very important thing: consent, and it is BDSM only if there is consent, else it is abuse.

    So such exchange is a viable alternative to the non-consensual power structures which permeate our modern world.

    How I Became A Dominatrix

    When I was a teenager, I started to slap my first boyfriend on his face and get turned on by that. I was 15 and didn’t know why I liked that, I didn’t know if it was normal or if there was something wrong with me.

    A bit older, I got in touch with BDSM and realized that that was what I liked and I felt comfortable with the idea that my desires were not following the norms and it was all right. I started to explore it more and more and try different things.

    I became a professional domme because of Dommenique Luxor, she is the biggest dominatrix in Brazil and I always admired her so much, followed her channel on social media and listened to her speeches. She started to teach and I became her student, after that, I was ready to start working.

    My Dominatrix Style

    I am very playful, I like to laugh a lot and make fun while I am playing. I also enjoy moments of silence, I am not the kind of domina that will be talking all the time during a session, and I find silenence important to access other states of mind.

    I also like to play creative games, absurd scenes and perform in situations where my slave can be seen by more people, like outdoors play for example.

    Four Expectations Of My Subs

    Complete devotion, obedience, creativity to please me and trust.

    #1 Rule All Subs Must Follow

    Rule number one is: Don’t do anything without your Mistress’ permission, you must ask first obviously.​

    Remember This Before Submitting

    This is serious business, once you are with a domina, you must be fully present and give yourself totally. There is no such thing as a bit of devotion, either it is completely surrender or it is nothing.

    Mistress Amandara – Perverted, with no traces of morality.

    With a very sadistic side, I am merciless. You will feel my extremely rough approach, as well as my softness and attention to fragility.

    What I like is to see men getting out of their comfort zone, pushing their limits and putting themselves in a grace state of vulnerability. I see endless beauty in this state.

    We will get in touch with our wildest fantasies as a process of getting to our creative source to feed ourselves, returning new and refreshed.

    My radical training will transform your way of being in the world beyond the sessions. Your self-sacrifice will be a demonstration of your devotion and claim for change.

    Follow Mistress Amandara on

    Website: https://mistressamandara.com/

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/mistressamandar

    OnlyFans: https://onlyfans.com/amandara

    Upcoming Tours: From 26th of January in Denmark till 1st February

    Images from Mistress Amandara

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  • How To Explore & Enjoy Nipple Play

    How To Explore & Enjoy Nipple Play

    First of all, I believe that BDSM is different for everyone and will vary from person to person. In the Dom/sub relationship, communication is essential, it will build a bond based on trust and respect. Therefore, one of my first roles as a Dominant is to pay attention to the words and body language of the submissives to know how far they can go.

    As for kinky, for me, kinky means going beyond standard forms of sexual expression.

    What Is Nipple Play?

    Nipple torture is a BDSM activity in which the dominant partner causes pain or intense stimulation of the submissive partner’s breasts. We are aware of how sensitive our nipples are and how intense pleasure can be achieved when we take care of them properly.

    We are also aware that these nipples are for something. From this analogy, a natural question arises: if these “two little ones” are already there, perhaps we can deal with them somehow?

    Why Me & My Subs Love Nipple Play

    A good nipple play session always excites me. I love it when my subjects give in to nipple experiments (this gives me an impetus to experiment)…

    Since the nipples are erogenous zones, the sensation of torturing the nipples is said to be pain mixed with pleasure.

    Favorite Nipple Play Props

    My favorite games include nipple clamps and flogging. The recipient of such activities may receive direct physical pleasure through masochism, emotional pleasure through erotic humiliation or the knowledge that the game is pleasing to a sadistic dominant.

    One Tip For Beginners

    If someone is just starting to play with their nipples, start by using their hands. This is the most basic way to tease. Breast tissue is usually more sensitive and can hurt quickly.

    Mistress Nadia – Hi. My name is Nadja. Polish-Russian blood flows in my veins. I am a very experienced woman with style and my own label. I am a lady who, despite her innocent nature, has a devil and an angel on her shoulders.

    Follow Mistress Nadia on

    Website: https://www.russianmistressnadia.com/

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/mistress_nadia

    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ih5k5Qfw0Gc

    Images from Mistress Nadja

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  • What To Know About Slut Training

    What To Know About Slut Training

    Kink and alternative lifestyles are a wonderful way to sexually explore your likes. Therapeutic for some and it’s interactive entertainment. I have always beaten to my own drum and when I discovered so many alternative lifestyles, I immediately thought, now this is me seeing people live the way they want to live safely that I’m always for. 

    What Is Slut Training?

    Slut training consists of a Dominant partner teaching the submissive to behave in an overtly sexual manner, from their clothing, behavior and mindset. While some may see being a slut as a negative, slut training encourages very promiscuous behavior. 

    Reasons For Undergoing Slut Training

    Most subs just want a feeling of being used. They want to let all inhibitions go and just please and serve being a toy for pleasure. 

    My Domme Style

    I’m a natural sensual dominant who specializes in  mental / psychological sadism.

    Slut training is a highly mental training, and you are shifting ones’ mindset on how to behave. Most submissives undergoing slut training are going to be reluctant, embarrassed and shamed at times. I always help to make sure they overcome these emotions and sometimes use them for humiliation. 

    A Typical Slut Training Session

    First and foremost, all of my sessions start with a brief reminder of RACK (risk-aware consensual kink) and a safe word is established. 

    I don’t have a typical training because each session is based on what I feel the submissive needs. So it can be focusing on learning how to properly suck cock, to undergoing intense slut training hypno. 

    What To Expect From Your First Session

    You should know that while you are expected to oblige your Dominants commands, you should always partake slut training with who you feel comfortable with. You will usually be learning and trying things you never experienced and want to feel safe and have an open mind. 

    Empress Katana – Enchanting Queer Dominant. I pride myself in creating safe kink spaces both online and in person.

    I’m currently not touring due to the pandemic. 2021 I will return to traveling starting with Los Angeles and then all over Europe. 

    Not Your Babe is a brand I’m creating featuring sex worker positive apparel and work related items. 

    Feel free to check out my link.tree/EmpressKatana and main site AllHailKatana.com for more information about me, my BDSM lifestyle and events. 

    Follow Empress Katana on

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/empresskatana

    Article images courtesy of Empress Katana, featured image from

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  • How To Explore Virtual or Remote Domination

    How To Explore Virtual or Remote Domination

    Kink is a massive part of my life, both professionally and personally. I believe that folks come to kink for all sorts of reasons, from satisfying deep primal urges, to healing, to spicing things up in the bedroom.  All are valid ways of exploring connection, validation, and catharsis.  

    How My Interest In Kink Started

    Probably when I was kidnapping and tying up my Barbies.  This has been a part of my life as far back as I can remember, even though I may not have always had the opportunity to express it.

    My Domme Style

    My style is playful.  I’m quite a chameleon, so I can deliver anything from severe to nurturing, but there is always an element of playfulness.  I laugh and smile, no matter what the vibe.  It’s because I’m enjoying myself, and that’s how I express it.

    Transition To Virtual Domination Due To Covid

    It was as natural as could be, despite the circumstances.  I think the way I Dominate translates fairly well to providing online services.  I’m perfectly fine with monologuing to a camera for an hour.  And I believe I have a knack for making people feel comfortable, even if it’s through a computer.  It’s certainly a lot more work.  You have to be on your phone constantly. 

    Luckily, I’m very good at online marketing, consistency, and branding, which worked to my advantage.  Difficulties for me ended setting up boundaries surrounding how much I work.  It’s very easy for me to never stop working, especially so if I’m working from home.

    The other difficulty is that many kinks don’t translate super well to video sessions.  It was a learning curve to find the ones that really work well. 

    A Typical Virtual Domination Session

    Virtual Domination allows you to keep in touch more often, so it’s actually advantangeous, I find, to making deep and long lasting connections.  For my regulars, we keep in touch throughout the week via text (I use Niteflirt), with weekly sessions or content requests.  Each sub is different, but I like to start my sessions with a bit of catching up and relaxing into each other. 

    I ask them to show me what implements/toys they have on-hand.  The majority of the session, just like in-person, includes whatever kinks they would like to act out.  Because I can’t touch them, what this looks like, is me telling them what to do to themselves.  And then I also leave some time at the end to decompress and chat about the scene.  I always ask what they are going to do when we hang up the call for aftercare.

    Recommended Sessions For Virtual Domination

    It really depends.  Sometimes it just doesn’t feel the same when you’re doing it to yourself, even if a Dominatrix is ordering you to do it.  Some folks are simply not into topping while submitting.  Also, virtual sessions depend on what equipment/implements/toys/wardrobe the client has available to them.  Sometimes you end up ordering to fuck themselves with a margarine covered banana, because there’s literally nothing else around.  Not that you can’t do a session without implements, but for some kinks it’s more essential than others.

    Impact play, or other pain play can be really great for some folks, but not the best for others.  Asking people to deliever pain to themselves can sometimes be tricky territory.  Keep checking in, and really encourage them to listen, and stay focussed.  Just make sure that the client is somewhat experienced with using the item.  Even with your supervision, they can end up hurting themselves by doing something incorrectly.  This could be using a hairbrush for spanking, clothespins zippers, nipple clamps, CBT, wax, ice, stress positions, and more.

    Pegging or strap-on play is usually a good go-to.  Most people are familiar with fucking themselves with a dildo.  This could mean orally, vaginally, or anally.  A suction cup is helpful.  From the other side, the Dom(me) can wear a strap-on to give them the visual.

    Humiliation or any other verbal kinks works well, because touching isn’t necessarily required to make the kink feel “real”.  Your dirty talk skills will really shine in a virtual setting.

    Tease and denial is also a fun one, especially if they have a vibrator on hand, extra points if it has bluetooth technology so that you can operate it.  E-stim similarly so.  Count downs are a common thing in virtual sessions.

    Sissification, feminization, bimbofication, dollification all work fairly well virtually, just as long as the client has some items to dress up into.  Even if they don’t, the language surrounding these kinks can still be very salient.

    Gagging can be useful for parts of the session, but it also takes away one of the ways to connect with each other, which is not always conducive, since you already have touch taken away.  But, making people talk through gags and drool on themselves is always fun.  Again, make sure that this is done safely, since you are not there in-person to help them if they start choking.

    Fluid play can be done too, just as long as they’re into being ordered to consume their own fluids.

    Lady Pim – A Professional Dominatrix and kink educator, working out of The Ritual Chamber in Toronto. She takes in-person sessions (currently on hiatus due to Covid-19), sells custom content, offers remote/virtual sessions, teaches on a variety of kinky topics, and conducts one-on-one kink consultations.   She is also the host of the multiple award winning Bed Post Podcast, a sex/sexuality show which features interviews of sex workers, sex educators, and other sexy people.  

    Follow Lady Pim on

    Twitter: @theladypim1

    Instagram: @theladypim

    Website: https://theritualchamber.ca/lady-pim

    Images courtesy of Lady Pim

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  • How To Explore & Enjoy Watersports Play

    How To Explore & Enjoy Watersports Play

    I’m thankful to exist in a world/time where certain lifestyles and sexualities aren’t considered taboo. I’ve lived both sides, the vanilla lifestyle and my sex work lifestyle, and on both sides of the fence I never feel judged. I think that says a lot about society’s acceptance of alternative lifestyles and kink. 

    How Did You Learn To Squirt?

    LOL I don’t think anyone learns how to squirt. I was in a very complicated engagement a couple of years ago, the physical attraction was lost and I felt like my pussy was “dead” metaphorically speaking. While I was single, a girlfriend of mine gifted me a cute rechargeable bullet.

    After months without any sex, one day in the parking lot of a local grocery store I decided to give myself pleasure. I had never been comfortable with masturbating but I was desperate from so many months without sex. I squirted all over the car in embarrassment. I’m not sure why it was embarrassing before but now I love it and I love masturbating. 

    Why I Love Squirting

    The thing I love most about squirting is that I can only squirt when I’m extremely relaxed and in absolute pleasure. It’s almost like heaven. It’s my biggest stress reliever to just sneak away for a moment and please my body.

    Once my pussy squirts I feel tired, dizzy, hungry, and adrenaline all at once. I have trouble sleeping most nights but a nice squirting orgasm can cure the insomnia in an instant. 

    Why Men Enjoy Watersports

    Most of the men that enjoy squirting are submissive in some way. Either that or they’re trying to execute something from their bucket-list LOL. Some are so vanilla that they don’t even realize they’re subs. They will meet my every need and or command just for a chance to get their face/body soaked by Miss Trina. I give them just what they need but not without making them drool first.

    Preparing For A Watersports Session

    You would think that I would have some type of set up ready but fortunately, I enjoy the impromptu clean up after I squirt. Generally I keep a towel close by but that’s only after the first round. I like to keep it spontaneous, maybe he will catch it all in his mouth so we don’t need the towel LOL.

    One of my favorite lovers would hurry to the bathtub and lay down in it with me standing over him squirting uncontrollably. There’s really no way to prepare. 

    What To Expect For First Timers

    One of the biggest myths about squirting is that the liquid is urine and it really isn’t. Before I became a squirter, I didn’t know whether it was urine or not. I didn’t really believe that it was possible for someone’s pussy to squirt but I made a girlfriend of mine squirt and that was the first time I found out that what I saw in the porn shows wasn’t fake.

    It also wasn’t urine. It doesn’t taste like anything to me. If you are with a woman who squirts, you are a special kind of lucky. 

    I’m Katrina. I have light gray/blue eyes and nice natural DDs.  I’m 5’6” 140lbs of exotic beauty. Art keeps my attention along with the right man. I am selective but very easy to please. If you can make me laugh We’ll probably hit it off. Planning a trip to Miami? spend time indoors, go on dinner dates, or a night club and anything else we want to keep us both satisfied.

    Follow Katrina on

    OnlyFans: Onlyfans.com/FineAssTrina 

    Twitter: Twitter.com/TrulyNaked 

    Instagram: Instagram.com/FineAssTrina_

    Pornhub: Pornhub.com/model/FineAssTrina

     Snapchat: Tstarrr69 

    Images from Katrina

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  • How To Explore Pegging With A Dominatrix

    How To Explore Pegging With A Dominatrix

    I first started having kinky fantasies when I was a very young girl. At first, I was very guilty and thought I was weird because back then, none of my friends talk or share about such things. It was only much later and in recent times that I discovered that there were others who were kinky and there was even a community where people congregated.

    That made me feel a lot better about myself and excited to know that there were actually others into what I enjoyed. This meant that I was able to hang out in a space with like minded people and truly be myself and what I am, instead of always having to skirt around my kinks with vanilla friends.

    What I Love About Pegging

    Pegging is essentially anal sex reversed – instead of a male penis in a woman’s ass, the woman wears a strap-on and fucks the male’s ass. I’ve always been fascinated with the power exchange aspect of D/s. In the same way, pegging is a means for me to induce power exchange when traditional gender roles during sex are reversed.

    The act of penetrating a man is not only fun but mentally arousing for me – making me feel powerful, strong and pushes me into a very dominant headspace. Not to mention, all that hip thrusting doubles up as a real good cardio workout!

    Reasons Subs Enjoy Being Pegged

    Most subs who come to me for pegging want to experience submission by having their most vulnerable and private areas violated. Some enjoy being emasculated through anal sex and also request to incorporate this with some form of sissy play.

    Others are more experienced and have already embarked on their own anal exploration and just want their male G-spot to be stimulated. I must say though, it is exceptionally enjoyable when subs come to me knowing that I love pegging and they want to please me by offering their holes to me.

    My Domination Style

    Being safe, sane and consensual is what all my clients can expect from me. My style of domination is sensual yet firm – think of that sexy colleague that caught your eye at the office pantry, who turns out to be the no-nonsense manager on your team. As the person in charge, I take the effort to do my own research about the kink and find my own practice before I involve my subs.

    I believe that communication is key to any successful session –  I always engage potential subs before any session, find out if they have prior anal experience and structure an appropriate scene tailored for the sub to explore pegging based on their context. For example, if a sub were to tell me that they have not tried any anal play before, I would recommend basic anal training before jumping into a full on pegging session.

    What To Expect In My Pegging Sessions

    Well, just like any good sexual encounter, my typical pegging session starts with building up sexual tension between me and my sub. It could be anything from dirty talk to tease and denial – getting the sub aroused and relaxed is rather key to making penetration enjoyable and easier later in the session.

    I personally use the strap-on harness from SpareParts – it is super comfortable, adjustable and looks super sick. The harness can accommodate a variety of dildos, giving me the versatility to meet my client’s needs. Unless you’re a size queen, I always start with my smallest dildo and am very generous with lube! So, don’t worry, I’m not going to tear you a new asshole on our first date. 😉

    Pegging Tips For First Timers

    As with trying anything new, go in with an open mind. You might like it or you might hate it, but it is always important to try, especially with someone who knows what they are doing. Besides reading up, I would recommend all aspiring clients to also try and explore your own body before hand – stick a finger or a small plug up your ass first and see how that feels for you.

    Cleaning out before the session can also help make the entire process more enjoyable for all parties – less fear or shame from any potential mess or bad smells. End of the day, if you’ve been toying with the idea of getting pegged, feel free to drop me a message and I will be more than happy to take you down this delicious rabbit hole.

    Mistress Haze – A tall and athletic dominatrix based in Singapore that is passionate about creating fun and exciting scenes. She enjoys turning confident and assertive men into soft putty, bending them to her sensually deviant brand of kink. 

    Follow Mistress Haze on

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/_mistresshaze

    Website: http://www.mistresshaze.com/

    Article images courtesy of Mistress Haze

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  • How To Explore & Enjoy Kinbaku Part 2

    How To Explore & Enjoy Kinbaku Part 2

    I enjoy being tied up by people I have an attraction to. This attraction doesn’t necessarily have to be sexual in nature, but there has to be interest (from both sides) in being close and intimate with each other. So for me, I don’t really seek out to be tied by people who tie specific styles of Kinbaku; rather, I seek out specific people who I am interested in exploring our relationship together, whatever that relationship might be. Sometimes I am driven by lust, sometimes I like the way a person moves, sometimes it is somebody I would like to get to know better (like a close friend of a close friend), and sometimes it is to realize a deep friendship. 

    That all being said, I do think there is a correlation between the people I am attracted to and the kind of rope they happen to do. I would say that I am a fairly intense and extreme person; in my Kinbaku exploration I have discovered how much I love to suffer (physically and mentally) and how much I love to be objectified… and as a former competitive athlete in sports that require intensive endurance training, I also find that my physical body craves to be pushed to a limit that it has been trained to be hard to reach. With these desires along with my personality, I naturally find myself tying with people who work a lot with the body, movement, suffering, and objectification. And often these people all kind of hover in the same circles, like-minded attracting like-minded. To name a few riggers I have had the pleasure to get to know through ropes and I think reflect what I am attracted to in ropes: Nicolas Yoroï, Kristina Marlen, Alex Nawa_Ronin, Felix Ruckert, Tamandua, Butterfly Bondage, and Pauline Massimo. These people and their way of tying speaks to me in ways that words cannot quite describe and I feel very lucky to have been able to meet them on a deep level both in and out of the ropes. Certainly, they have played a huge role in my development as a person who is tied. I also need to mention a rigger who I have not tied with but who has been an inspiration for me since the beginning of my rope journey, and that is Akira Naka. I have always been drawn to the beautiful, romantic suffering that is portrayed by him in my eyes.

    There are also a few rope bottoms that I am inspired by, and I would like to mention Natasha Nawataneko in particular. We have known each other since I first started rope bondage and in so many ways we have accompanied each other on our journeys in rope bondage. She is one of the wisest and most genuine people I know, and these qualities poor from her soul when she speaks, breaks, and is being tied. I am totally inspired by her and her constant ability to stay honest and present with what is going on insider of herself while still remaining a considerate and generous human being. Being around such inspiring rope bottoms as Natasha certainly affect how I am tied and the experiences I invite into a rope bondage scene.

    So, yes bondage is not about styles or collecting experiences. It is about people. And I like the style of the people I am interested in tying with, on either side of the rope. And often that style as more to do with the way they move and how they are as a person, and how we attract each other, rather than anything to do with the ropes themselves.

    Photo and rope by Pauline Massimo

    What You Should Know Before Trying Out Rope Bondage

    I would say that they should spend time thinking about the why. Why do you want to do rope bondage? You might want to do it because you saw a pretty photo on the internet and it inspired you. It might be because you have been having fantasies about being tied up for a long time and you would like to finally try it out, or you might  have absolutely no idea! But there is something about it that makes you curious. There is no right or wrong answer. But it is good to constantly evaluate this question (and the answer might keep changing, or be totally different depending on who you are tying with and what you want to do).

    I think it is important to constantly evaluate this question because it will help you to better find the rope bondage experience you are looking for with a person who best matches your intention. If you are not interested in doing rope for sexual reasons, then it is best to recognize that and seek a partner whose intention matches yours… because how awful would it be to start doing rope with somebody whose intention was to be sexual when that is not what you want! No matter how good of a person you both might be, it likely would end up in an unpleasant situation to say the least, for both parties involved. When we can be honest with ourselves and our own desires we can do a better job of taking ownership for our own experiences and making sure they are what we want to have. This can apply to everything from finding rope partners, teachers, and spaces that feel good for you and help lift you up and make you feel comfortable enough to dare to be dangerous.

    I would also strongly recommend people who are interested in learning to tie or be tied to seek out guidance in person. Online material can be a great sub-element for your learning and development, but it does not provide you with the important nuances that come with learning a practice that is kinetic. Seeing how the rope can affect another, having somebody there to guide you and explain how it could work for you and your body, and provide a safety net… all in person… is invaluable. Humans understand the emotional and reactions of other humans best in person. And this is exactly what rope is about. We need living examples, and meeting others who share such an edgy interest in person help us to build a network of people we can relay on and gain experience from… and furthermore can serve as a safety net we can lean on when we need others who understand to talk to about our experiences and make sure we are all safely being dangerous together.

    Lastly, I would also like to emphasize that there is skill and development in being tied. Contrary to popular belief, it is not the rigger who magically creates an experience for the rope bottom to enjoy. It takes two to tango, as we say in English. We create an experience together. A dynamic. A scene. And both parties need to be present and aware of their own bodies, reactions, and feelings. There are not just things that a rigger should learn; there is also so much out there to learn for somebody to would like to be tied. Go to bottoming workshops, talk to other bottoms about their experiences, and find perspectives and techniques that work for you. Invest in yourself, and in the people who you would like to be tied by. If you come into a session expecting to be served an experience, then perhaps rope bondage is actually not for you, because if you aren’t willing to put energy, presence, and responsibility into a session then you are not doing your part in contributing to a mutually safe and rewarding experience for you or your partner.

    Saara Rei – A Stockholm-based performer, rope artist, and kink educator with a professional background in modern and ballroom dance, as well as teaching and public speech coaching. She has been practicing Japanese-inspired rope bondage, often referred to as Shibari or Kinbaku, since 2014.

    Follow Saara on

    Website: www.saararei.com

    Instagram: www.instagram.com/saara.rei.shibari

    Only Fans: www.onlyfans.com/saara_rei

    Photo credits as above

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