SimplySxy

Tag: Men

  • Why Do Some Guys Not Like Blowjobs?

    Why Do Some Guys Not Like Blowjobs?

    Is it normal for a guy to not like receiving blow jobs? My friends rave about it but I don’t really enjoy it as much as they do.

    Blow jobs are one form of sexual activity. What one finds pleasurable is unique and subjective to their sexual experiences and how they are wired to experience pleasure.

    Sex is as varied as the food we eat. Liking blow jobs is the same as liking a certain cuisine. Some people may love pizza and others prefer Chinese food. It doesn’t mean one is better than the other. It all comes down to personal preference. Sexual positions and activities are the same way. It is absolutely normal for a man to prefer other forms of sexual activity over blow jobs.

    The body may prefer other forms of stimulation and pleasure. It could also be due to the type of blow jobs and technique used by current or past partners. I would explore different types of stimulation and ways to receive oral stimulation that feel good for your body. Maybe your interest in blow jobs can change with the right stimulation and penis pleasing techniques.

    Have a question on your mind related to sex? Send them in to editorial@simplysxy.com!

    Dr. Shannon Chavez is a licensed clinical psychologist and sex therapist with an expertise in female sexual health. She works with women of all ages and backgrounds helping guide them from sexual concerns to sexual empowerment. Read the rest of her profile below and follow her on Facebook at Dr.Shannon.Chavez

    Featured image courtesy of Shutterstock

  • The Single Male’s ‘P’s and Q’s’ to Swinging

    The Single Male’s ‘P’s and Q’s’ to Swinging

    Why are all single guys not allowed into swing clubs? Well, that is actually a pretty easy answer for me. Basically, it is because most single men don’t know how to behave. Now I’m not asking every single guy out there to be the perfect gentleman (although that would be nice), what I am saying is that just because you are at a club filled with swingers, that does not mean you are guaranteed to get sex, let alone sex from any woman that you fancy.

    I am sure you will encounter a lot of women who spark your interest, especially when they are most likely dressed VERY sexily—I’m talking skin tight dresses, high stiletto heels, stockings, and very possibly … no panties. A typical single guy who finds him surrounded by all these delicious ladies will most likely approach them and assuming that they are also there for sex, he probably doesn’t see the need to be polite to them. He may be grabby, had too much to drink (because of nerves), or could even be somewhat crude. Well, I’m sorry, but just because she is there with the intention of having sex does not mean she should not be treated like a lady!

    Make that tiny bit of extra effort and treat her well. Compliment her looks, outfit, and those beautiful eyes. Then once she gets to know you a bit and gives you some signals that she is also interested in you, ask her nicely if she would like to go to the play room. This will definitely go a long way into getting you laid and honestly, this is pretty much how you should treat a lady in a normal non-swinging situation as well.

    Now that you realize how many women have been groped, talked down to, and basically just treated poorly in swingers clubs just because the single men there have figured they are there for sex, so they can be treated badly, you are probably starting to understand why single men are not permitted into all swing clubs. That said, there are some clubs out there that will allow single males in as long as they are ‘chaperoned’ by a couple that is pretty much responsible for him and will vouch that he will not act aggressively. A couple of other clubs have special nights that allow singles to enter. In fact, these days, with the increasing number of couples looking to add a single male into their mix, there are even some that welcome. single males with literally ‘open arms’. This can be either in the form of a third (wife’s fantasy of having two men at the same time), or a male engaged to have sex with a woman while her husband watches.

    There are lots of rooms (no pun intended) for single men in the world of swingers. So look around and find a club that best suits your preference and when you go, PLEASE remember to act like a gentleman.

    PS: You can also find swingers looking for single men on my site. Give it a try—what do you have to lose?

    Till then, enjoy!
    Sandi
    www.SandiOnSwinging.com

    Featured image courtesy of Shutterstock
    Do you have a question you want answered by a sexpert?  Drop us a message at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

  • Oral sex mistakes men make

    Oral sex mistakes men make

    I love everything about receiving oral sex! It’s just something so raw, animalistic, and taboo about oral sex. The fact that some consider it “dirty” is a huge turn on. But, in detail, I love to cum in my man’s mouth and all over his face. There’s definitely nothing hotter than looking down and watching a guy please you with his lips, fingers, and tongue.

    What I love…

    I love a man that just dives in it and makes it fun. I like it when he sticks his tongue inside my pussy, sucks on my clit, and alternates his tongue and fingers. Fast or slow just depends on the mood at the time. I like them both.

    I also like to play/experiment so I love a man that’s open to that. Use ice, fruits, etc. Play with different pressures, and speeds. Give me multiple orgasms; I mean I like to cum at least twice before I have sex. It gets my pussy hungry, wet, and very sensitive.

    Mistakes men make…

    First, let me start by saying that you really have to understand that each woman is different, and have different preferences. You cannot, I repeat, cannot do the exact same thing every time thinking that’s going to get the job done. That’s the first mistake guys make.

    Another is not listening to her body/response as you’re doing it. You have to get comfortable and take your time. Follow her body; wherever she goes, you go there with her.

    Another mistake is not taking their time and just rushing it or half-ass doing it. Don’t give her four licks, then come up ready to shove your cock inside her like you did something. Wrong!! Don’t stab, poke, bite, or give too much pressure. We’re just as sensitive as you are and biting or putting a lot of pressure can hurt or feel uncomfortable. And that fucks the mood completely up.

    Also, don’t be afraid to experiment. Don’t be afraid of toys/vibrators. These guys could end up being your new best friends! But make sure you’re both comfortable with a type of toy. Tips for playing with toys: Try alternating with your tongue and vibrator on her clit changing the speeds. Rub her vaginal opening with your hand, tongue, vibrator. You could stick it slowly in while licking her clit, then pull it out and replace the toy with your mouth or tongue. Give a little, tease her, ask her to tell you what and how she wants something done. Then take your time either giving it to her right away or rationing it out.

    Experiment and play!! Sex is supposed to be fulfilling and fun. So make sure that it is for your lady.

    My name is Daphne Daniels. I’m a Pisces. I love to flirt, have fun, enjoy life. And oh yea, I’m a BBW Pornstar.Visit the links to my Twitter and Facebook to find out more about me!

    Featured image courtesy of Shutterstock

    Have an amazing experience or tips you like to share on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

     

  • Sexy Reads – How to make wild, passionate love to your man

    Sexy Reads – How to make wild, passionate love to your man

    Every woman makes love to her man with her heart, but just where do you learn how to do it with your mind and body too? Here is a chance to peep into the sexy world between your man’s ears, and lots of practical advice on what to do to drive him wild. Now you can be the most skilful lover he has ever experienced…

    Excerpt

    Men Looking at Women…

    What do men think looks sexy?

    People as different as men and women are bound to have different ideas about what looks sexy. Men are believed to take in a whole-body image of a woman when they first see her. If she is interesting, they register an image of her sexual features – legs, butt, breasts – and then add hair and face. Interestingly, men find it difficult to recall details of what she was wearing or the color of her eyes. They retain a strong opinion of her attractiveness but often cannot tell you much beyond whether she was wearing a skirt or pants. It is as if they are more interested in the effect of her presentation than the details of the presentation itself. A woman seeing the same person is much more likely to be able to recall what she was wearing, perhaps because her mind is unclouded by the question of sexual attractiveness.

    It follows that subtlety is probably wasted on men; it will be only the obvious that stays in their minds. There is not much point worrying about the color balance of the chiffon scarf you have wound about your neck to highlight your new blouse. He might remember that you had something around your neck but he will certainly recall that the cold had made your nipples stick out like thumbs.

    Women look in acid scorn at the girl at the party who has the men hanging around her like dogs at a barbecue. She is dressed just like a slut, her skirt is too short, her breasts are halfway out of her blouse, and those heels are ridiculous. But hey, she is not sitting at home on Saturday night waiting for the phone to ring. She must be doing something right.

    Men in bed dream about sex. Their minds are filled not with pictures of fashion statements but erotic images of women. Of succulent thighs, rounded hips, soft and swinging breasts, heavy feminine bottoms. And that is what they find sexy when they are awake as well.

    Don’t Men care about Personality?

    Nope. Not at first sight. An empty-headed bimbo will get as much attention as you do. Or probably more, because she survives by getting men to take care of her and she has had a lifetime of practice. But don’t be depressed; it doesn’t take much of a personality to catch a man but you will need one to keep him.

    In the meantime, you must concentrate on understanding what men find sexy, so watch the bimbos and learn. It should not be too difficult. After all, you are smarter than they are, aren’t you?

    Men are so Childish!

    Well, yes, I can see why you might say that, but you would be wrong. Let me give you two reasons. Firstly, heterosexual men make up nearly half of the population. If they all have similar reactions to women (and they do, believe me) then you cannot call the reactions childish. They are part of the fundamental male spirit.

    The second reason is that some of the very same men have painted masterpieces, created sublime music, ruled empires and written literature that endures for centuries. Nearer to home you have devoted fathers, solid carers and servers of the community, and quiet gardeners. Inside all of them, sometimes open for view and sometimes discretely hidden, is the same old Adam who would just love to reach out and caress the waitress’s bottom. It is simply the nature of the beast. You do not have to like the situation, just understand how it works.

    Oh, and if you are ever feeling superior about it, run down to the newsagents or supermarket check-out and buy a gossip magazine or a Mills & Boon novel. Who looks shallow and childish now?

    Are you a Sex Object?

    Of course you are. You are a woman, so it follows that you are a sex object. In male eyes there are no alternative positions. The only question is how successful you are at it (in his eyes). Again, you do not have to like the situation but you will have to live it.

    I hope you do not feel terrible and trapped in a world you cannot change. The best response is to quietly take control of your bit of it and even out the playing field. Perhaps it will help to think of the pig-board.

    Have you ever used a pig-board? Do you even know what one is? Well, the story goes like this. If you ever meet a pig face to face, you will see a dense mass of muscle on four legs. Probably not much over knee-high but as heavy as you are. This pork bulldozer is controlled by a surprisingly intelligent brain behind those piggy eyes. You will realize in an instant that if this pig wants to walk right through you, there will be nothing you can do to prevent it. So how are you going to control him? Negotiate? Tell him that his piggy way of looking at you is out-dated and that his worldview must change? Not a chance. Instead you use a pig-board.

    A pig-board is a rectangle of light ply or aluminium with a handhold cut into the centre of the top edge. It is wide enough to reach across the fenced races you find in stockyards and pig farms, and high enough that the pig cannot see over it. So if you want to close off a race and divert the pig into a neighbouring pen, you merely hold the pig-board in front of your trembling knees and close off the pig’s view of the open race behind you. He will then trot sweetly into the pen you have opened for him, instead of bowling you over and leaving hoof-prints over you and your little piece of ply. Magic!

    Every species of animal has blind spots and the pig-board exploits the pig’s natural instincts. You have a pretty good idea of what your man’s natural instincts are concerning women; you just have to use your knowledge to get an even break.

    Continue reading How to make Wild, Passionate love to your Man at http://www.jacquelinegeorgewriter.com/howto.html


  • First Date Hacks

    First Date Hacks

    First Date Hacks

  • A Kiss Isn’t Just a Kiss

    A Kiss Isn’t Just a Kiss

    “The most eloquent silence; that of two mouths meeting in a kiss.” – Anonymous

    Although kissing is often one of the first intimate behaviors performed in a relationship (commonly referred to as “first base”) and may seem to be a rather simplistic behavior, research suggests that kissing is of great importance when sizing up potential romantic partners and serves many functions. In fact, kissing appears to act as an important gauge when selecting a mate and can either enhance or diminish feelings of attraction to others. A study conducted by Hughes and colleagues (2007), 59% of men and 66% of women reported that “they were no longer interested in someone after kissing them for the first time.”

    These results suggest that kissing plays a huge role in mate selection for both men and women, however this is particularly true for women. This gender difference in consistent with other research suggesting that women report finding kissing more important than men do  (Wlodarski & Dubar, 2013). Interestingly, this study also found that men and women who rate themselves as highly attractive and with more casual/short-term relationships, rated kissing as more important than those who rated themselves as less attractive and with less casual relationship experience.

    So, now that we know kissing serves as an important metric when sizing up a potential mate, what can we do to be better kissers? What variables are important to others when kissing (especially for the first time)? In a study examining kissing preferences among young adults (Hughes et al., 2007), a person’s breath and the taste of his or her mouth were the most important factors related to the quality of a kiss. The “wetness” of a kiss was also found to relate to the quality of a kiss, however differently for men and women. In particular, men reported liking “wetter” kisses to a greater extent than did women.

    Although kissing cannot predict with 100% certainty how attractive someone finds you, it does play a role when sizing up partners. So, next time you are preparing for a first date, make sure to avoid drinking/eating anything that could result in an “untasty” mouth.

    Feature image courtesy of Shutterstock
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  • 10 Ways to Impress in the Bedroom

    10 Ways to Impress in the Bedroom

    Here’s an infographic by UK’s newest online sex shop, Carvaka Sex Toys, on the 10 ways to impress in the bedroom.  Ladie’s and Gentlemen, it’s time to try out these tips for a sexy time!Ways-to-impress-in-bedroom-infographic

     

    Carvaka is an ancient Indian philosophy that believes that humans get one life and so should enjoy it to the absolute fullest.  Visit Carvaka Sex Toys at https://carvakasextoys.co.uk/ to view their collection of toys that will bring your sex life to places you have never dreamed of.

    Infographic courtesy of Carvaka Sex Toys.
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  • Getting him out of his Man Cave

    Getting him out of his Man Cave

    First of all, what is a “Man Cave”? The following is quoted in wikipedia:

    Man caves have multiple purposes: they are a place to be alone, to be away from women and from female sensibilities, to indulge in hobbies, and to hang out with male friends. It is, loosely, a male-only space to retreat to watch sports matches, or play video games. Some psychologists claim that a man cave can provide refuge from stressful surroundings and be beneficial to marriage?

    A man retreating to his man cave may be a good idea for him, but what about the woman who has to deal with his sudden need to get away?

    From a woman’s perspective, she may feel left out while he retreats into his cave, especially after an argument or disagreement. This will make many women feel insecure about the relationship and shutout.

    A man going into his man cave can send some women into a complete frenzy, trying to figure out how to get him out of his cave or wonder how long he plans on staying in there. Sometimes, retreating to a man cave can also imply an emotional retreat away from her, which for many women, they seldom understand why …

    When a man uses his man cave as a way to not deal with an ongoing problem in a relationship, it is usually frustrating for a woman because she is left wondering what to do, and it can drive some women to the brink of insanity. For a man, this not a recommended way to deal with an ongoing problem, as this type of continued behavior from any man is usually a sign that he may not be a good mate and needs some maturing and communication skills.

    What makes a man want to retreat into a man cave?

    It is not all that complicated even though women tend to make it more complicated in their minds.

    When a man feels like his partner is not appreciating him, or he is being punished, pushed too hard, nagged, overwhelmed, not ready to commit or needs space from her, he may retreat to his man cave. Depending on the man, or the coaxing of his partner will determine how long he stays in his man cave. There are men as well that need space from time to time in a relationship, which is understandable, and if they don’t get it they begin to feel trapped and want to hide. If he retreats, which for some men may be a missed phone call, or wanting to take time away with friends, or after an argument, there are a few things that a woman can do depending on the relationship and his reason for retreating. Men tend to retreat more than women, and women tend to want to talk things out….

    A few tips on what a woman can do when this happens in the relationship.

    Five ways to deal with a man when he goes into his man cave mode.

    1. Do not pressure your guy to come out of his cave with continued calling or showing up unexpected at his house or place of work, this will only aggravate the situation. Do not threaten or demand for him to come out and talk to you. This type of behavior is one that may have driven him into his cave to begin with, so it will only drive him deeper into the cave. Too much pressure for some men and they may never come out at all. One phone call is usually enough. If he does not respond, then leave him alone.
    2. Give him space and some time away out on his own. The idea of wanting to resolve the issue now and get on with it, this may be what a woman wants, but for the man he may need time to just get away and think about the situation. When he does come out of his man cave, do not attack him. Be nice to him instead of being angry or grumpy. Time is also good for a woman as well as she can have her space to understand her own feelings. Men tend to want to run than confront an emotional angry woman.
    3. Crying to a man may have a negative reaction on him … Understand that when a woman becomes emotional with crying spells, most men do not know how to respond to that emotion, so they retreat. Men tend to hate it when women cry—for reasons that they often have difficulty articulating. Men may be biologically primed to react to a woman’s tears. According to a new study, even a whiff of tears can dramatically reduce his testosterone levels, and his desire for her. With or without conscious awareness, a woman crying is upsetting to a man. This is not to say that tears or being upset from time to time is going to push him away but crying about problems or having crying spells as a way to get what a woman wants can do just the opposite, turn him away. If the crying sent him running, then when he comes out of his cave, talk to him about it in a way that is positive and help him work through his feelings so the next time it happens he will know what to do.   A hug or kiss, this may be all it takes! Men get confused by a woman emotions, but if told how they can help if it does happen again, they won’t feel so helpless and most would gladly offer a hug to stop a woman from continuous crying.
    4. One attempt that a woman can try to get her man out of his cave is being sweet by offering to make him a home cooked meal. A simple offer of a peaceful evening and a full tummy with his favorite dish.  Most men can’t resist this one. A simple caution, is if he says no, then just back away and give him time as stated in #1.
    5. If he retreated to the cave because of a series of text messages that were bitchy or in a moment of emotional turmoil, an apology may coax him out. Text messaging upset feelings is never a good idea as he can read it over and over again; and words don’t always come out the same as speaking face to face or over the phone. Texting has caused more people to get into unnecessary arguments then any other type of verbal communication. The reason being is that it is an instant way to get emotions out, but it does not always convey the intent of the message or have allow the time to think about it. The other reason that texting is a problem is a person can re-read it over and over again having it become more ingrained in the mind in a negative way, and that makes them less likely to want to work it out and talk about it. Avoid text messaging emotional issues.  Instead, send a text to call and meet in person to discuss the issue.  This will also help a person to cool down if they are upset and think through their emotions. We are a society of quick fixes, and texting has become a way to spit it out instead of waiting for the other person to be ready to speak, it forces people to react without thinking.

    For some women it may be helpful to understand that when a man goes into his man cave, it can be compared to a woman having her period, (grumpy, wanting to hibernate, moody, hurting, upset and needing time to just chill out and be alone) of course without the cramps, bleeding, fluctuating hormonal moods and bloating…

    Communication

    Learning how to communicate with a man can be frustrating for many women because they are used to communicating with their girlfriends in a way that men do not typically speak. Expecting a man to have the patience to listen to their problems without wanting them to solve the problem, can leave a man feeling helpless. Most men, especially younger men, are not used to this type of communication. They want to solve the problem and be done with it, whereas women on the other hand like to talk about their feelings so that they can get it off of their chest and have another person agree with them.

    When women expect to have this type of communication with a man on a regular basis, most men will lose patience with her after a while and either retreat or say something to aggravate her and then it ends in an argument. Telling your man beforehand that you just need him to listen as a friend for a bit without a solution, can give him some clues as to what he is supposed to do and what is expected of him. Remember that he is not a girlfriend and at some point going on and on about a subject is best left to discuss with the girls. Too much complaining and he may run into his man cave again, for fear of getting corned into another lengthy emotional conversation.

    As always, there are men that are more apt to lending an ear better than others from time to time, but for most men their instinct is to solve problems. That is what their mind are wired to do.

     This article has been republished with permission from Dr. Dawn Michael.

    Feature image courtesy of Shutterstock
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  • The truth about men and penis anxiety

    The truth about men and penis anxiety

    For men, the penis is front and center, it can be seen by all who view it when his pants are down. Some men will cringe at the thought of this and others will become aroused. The thought of a woman looking at their penis, perhaps admiring it or laughing at it can arouse a man or destroy his ego. A man’s entire persona, ego, manhood, confidence can be located between his legs. Does it have to be this way, no it does not, but for most men it is!

    In the book The New Male Sexuality by Bernie Zilbergeld Ph.D, it gives a perspective on what the male penis might say if given the chance to speak.

    Often the penis complained mightily about not getting what it needed (a relaxed owner, a booze-free environment, proper stimulation, and so on) and resented the demands being made on it saying, “You never pay attention to me unless you want something, and then you want it exactly the way you want it, and get angry and threaten me unless I comply. Half the situations you get me into scare the hell out of me. I’m not at my best when I’m scared. I want you to know that unless you pay more attention and give me what I need like more appealing and less frightening situations, you’re getting zilch. And that’s that.”

    In a world where men are now surrounded by pornography, as their first real introduction to sex education, many men are left with the feeling that they just don’t compare. They often forget that these men are professionals who have above average penis size and are not performing to a live audience. For many men the pressure to perform and get it just right, is can create a problem with erections and orgasm,. Often times a man can be with a woman that he truly does desire but is unable to get an erection.

    Why does this happen?

    The answer is blood flow, getting the blood to flow through veins that are constricted and the heart is pushing the blood to other parts of the body triggering the fight or flight response. The more nervous a man gets the blood just leaves his penis, and that can really make him feel small.

    Facts:

    Length of the male penis

    The most accurate measurement of the human penis comes from several measurements at different times since there is naturally minor variability in size due to arousal level, time of day, room temperature, frequency of sexual activity, and reliability of measurement. Measurements vary, with studies that rely on self-measurement reporting a significantly higher average than those with staff measuring. However, the mean of an erect human penis is approximately 12.9–15.0 cm (5.1–5.9 in) in length.

    Erect circumference

    Similar results exist regarding studies of the circumference of the adult fully erect penis, with the measurement taken mid-shaft. As with length, studies that relied on self-measurement consistently reported a significantly higher average than those with staff measuring. In a study of penis size where measurements were taken in a laboratory setting, the average penis circumference when erect was 4.8 inches (12.3 cm).

    What does this all mean?

    Men that feel bad about their penis, who are anxious about performing, who ejaculate too quickly or cannot get an erection or keep it, most are products of the idea that a man always has to be ready to perform sexually. This is the one defining factor that most men will feel when dealing with a sexual dysfunction. Once a man can understand that he is not supposed to always initiate sex, that he is not the one who has to perform all the time, or that sex has to be serious. Sex is, about having fun without the pressure to perform. For help with sexual issues there is, self-esteem coaching, sex education, and help from a certified clinical sexologist, these professionals can help with resolving these issues. Size is really a matter of how a man feels about himself, and the partners he chooses to be with. Size really does not matter if a man is not able to get or maintain an erection, because he is anxious about the size of his penis?

    Understanding that sex is not just about penetration, but intimacy, love and feeling good, then the pressure to perform should be taken away. When the pressure is no longer there to perform than a man can be at ease knowing that if his penis is performing or not he can still give pleasure and receive pleasure…..and in the end his penis may just rise to the occasion!

     This article has been republished with permission from Dr. Dawn Michael.

    Image courtesy of Shutterstock
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  • What do most men do after sex

    What do most men do after sex

    I am one of those men who believe that –

    The sex act can be divided into three components: foreplay, intercourse, and afterplay.

    Foreplay, about which volumes have been written, is the traditional lead-in to intercourse itself. Foreplay can last from minutes to hours, is limited primarily by imagination and creativity, and includes all activities that stimulate the sexual appetite for intercourse. I truly enjoy foreplay, unlike some men who just want to get down to the business.

    Personally speaking, I love intense and insanely hot makeout session, caressing, heavy petting and oral sex. The passion of getting aroused by tantalizing kissing, touching and caressing erogenous zones, exploring each other’s bodies before penetration can be very satisfying.
    Intercourse itself is what most people consider the pleasure of sex. However, what happens after intercourse can be just as meaningful emotionally and pleasurable physically. This post coital activity is known as “afterplay”.

    This is what most men do after having sex-

    1. Roll over and fall asleep.

    2. Obsessive need to clean up after. Some men feel repulsed after orgasm and just want to clean themselves up thoroughly.

    3. Light a cigarette. I know it sounds like a cliche’ but some men enjoy a smoke after the act.

    4. Get up and leave. Their point is- “I am in for sex and not for after play or anything. Dude, we are not in a relationship or anything, Right?”

    5. Cuddle, some men like to cuddle which reinforces release of endorphins and oxytocin. It maakes you feel good.

    6. Finally there are those men- who like to clean up everything without using towel, if you know what I mean 🙂

    Unfortunately, most men don’t believe in afterplay, and frankly not much is written about afterplay.

    As far as I am concerned, I believe that afterplay is as important as foreplay. Ignorance of afterplay is common. Many people simply don’t realize that intimate ambiance can continue after orgasm.

    Some universal perspectives on how to enjoy Afterplay

    How should you afterplay? That depends on you as a couple. Many people prefer cuddling and snuggling. Hair brushing, back scratching, massaging, and caressing are also popular. Just lying together, savoring the touch, sight, smell, and taste of each other can bring intense emotional satisfaction and ready lovers for another shared intimacy.

    To quote the fourth century Sanskrit love manual, the Kama Sutra- “If lovers spend time playing and caressing each other at the end of their loving, then their ecstasy and confidence increase. Love-play enhances pleasure.”
    Afterplay should include some of the things that they enjoy and that brought them together in the first place, such as a bubble bath, sharing a glass of wine, or listening to music. Romantic, intimate conversation during afterplay can enhance the emotional aspects of sex and strengthen the bonds of the relationship, as can sharing an intimate laugh or joke.

    Afterplay do’s and don’ts

    It is important to remember that the time immediately after intercourse is a time of great vulnerability. If the intercourse is fast, furious, and unfulfilling, the partners–may feel  “post coital depression.” This feeling of emptiness and resentment can be lessened by effective afterplay, especially with reassurance, embracing, and cuddling. If there was difficulty during sex, the ensuing awkwardness or embarrassment can also be relieved by good afterplay.

    In his book Secrets of Better Sex, Dr. Joel Block provides five “do’s and don’ts ” for enjoying afterplay

    • Don’t use afterplay as a “sexual postmortem.”
    • Don’t air sexual grievances or complaints.
    • Do use this intimate time to express sexual feelings, thoughts, and desires that you’ve not previously shared.
    • Don’t discuss problems with your job, your finances, or your children.
    • Do cuddle and caress for at least five minutes.
    • Do say “I love you’.”

    Want to prolong afterplay?

    You can avoid the following: jumping up to “wash off,” turning on the television, making phone calls, criticizing your partner’s performance, or making comparisons to previous partners.

    Another important consideration regarding afterplay is the timing of sex. If you usually have sex at night, your fatigue, in combination with the parasympathetic response of orgasm will reduce your energy for afterplay. Why not consider sex at different times of the day? Early morning sex is a great way to start the day, and “afternoon delight” is just that. That extra burst of energy may just allow you more room for dessert!

    Now don’t forget to subscribe to my blog and share this article.

    Reference:
    1. http://monticelloinstitute.com/
    2. Secrets of Better Sex, Dr. Joel Block

    This article has been republished with permission from Deepak.

    Please visit Deepak’s website  to view the original post and more of Deepak’s works.

    Images courtesy of Shutterstock.
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