I’m an Otherwise Straight Man (Who Fell in Love with His Best Friend)
Mike was a “figured out” guy, an unquestionably straight man who came to the realization that he had fallen in love with his best friend.
After a bout of serious illness, his roommate took care of him and saw to his daily needs. Gradually he found himself looking forward to seeing Garrett when he came back from work, he missed him, he became the light of his life.
It occurred to him that he might be in love. Of course he shook it off but that unmistakeable feeling made him reconsider. One day, Mike took up the courage to say “I think I’m in love with you.” Luckily for him, Garrett shared the same feelings.
Both had no idea how to make things work. There was a possibility that it could not work. But it was a relationship.
Mike says “In every moment, we’re changing and evolving and growing. In every moment, we’re reconstructing our identity. We’re not defined by our decisions from two years ago. We’re not even defined by our decisions from two minutes ago. We’re defined by who we choose to be in this very moment.
We’ll never be “figured out.” Over the course of our lives, we’ll constantly be transforming into a more and more authentic version of ourselves. Our preferences will change. Our passions will change. And we have to be brave enough to choose the thing that makes up happiest in each individual moment.”
Edited to meet copyright requirements.
Reproduced with permission and thanks from http://www.mindbodygreen.com and Mike Iamele
For the full article please see http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-14997/im-an-otherwise-straight-man-who-fell-in-love-with-his-best-friend.html
Labels and misconceptions
I thought this was a particularly poignant story to share with our SimplySxy readers. When we think about sex and sexuality, we often forget an essential aspect of love.
I think it is fair to say that all of us are brought up with a particular identity, mother with father, boyfriend with girlfriend, gay or straight. For some of us at adolescence, we have an opportunity to reassess our identity. Sometimes our strong bonds of identity inculcated in us from childhood makes us resist feelings, which un-mistakenly pull us in a particular way so we deny those feelings.
Sometimes we place a label on ourselves. No, I am definitely straight. No, I must be gay. It’s a natural human instinct to define what we don’t know to help us make sense of that unknown. To reinforce that definition, we push away our innermost feelings and attach negative misconceptions about a particular sexual tendency. We even go as far as to hate people who have accepted that part of themselves. For example, “ew he’s gay, I hope he doesn’t come on to me’.
I propose, in the spirit of openness that Mike’s story evokes, that we ask ourselves, as honestly and without judgment as is possible, “could I be different?” The answer, in my view is, probably; maybe; who really cares other than myself?
Am I over-simplifying things? Possibly. There are other very important considerations, like family approval, legislative prohibitions, to name a few. It is however, still up to you to make your relationship work and more importantly, to be brave and want to make it work. Is it worth fighting for?
On Love and other things
Mike is truly blessed (I don’t use that word often, its bastardised in many ways) to find love and be reciprocated at the same time. I can only wish I can find my way on the same path as he did. But love is difficult and fraught with trials, rejections and tribulations. But as Mike encourages, be brave and hold on.
xoxo Steph M
Image courtesy of Shutterstock
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