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Tag: Love

  • 10 Signs That She Is In Lust And Not In Love With You

    10 Signs That She Is In Lust And Not In Love With You

    While love can’t be put into words, it can be best described as a strong feeling of affection, and genuine interest and care for the other party. Lust, on the other hand, is pure fire; it is raw sexual attraction based solely on the physical factor. The two feelings are not exclusive, however; they usually intermingle, and may leave you confused.

    You have been seeing someone and sparks are flying. The attraction is mutual, and the sex is mind blowing. This situation may have been going on for a few weeks or for quite sometime now, and you may be beginning to wonder about the nature of your relationship. Whether it is bursts of crazy urgent sex, or hours of tantric sex, you may be wondering if that’s all there is. You want to know if what’s going on between you both is lust or love. Here are the 10 telltale signs that it’s lust she feels for you:

    1. Dates are a means to an end

    If you are at a point in your relationship where you’re wondering if what you have is list or love, odds are you have been courting your love interest for sometime. A look at the nature of your dates can be eye opening. Do you take the time to do activities together, and enjoy things you love to do? Or are your dates more of a door leading to a bed of crumbled sheets? If she seems less than enthusiastic to go on an actual date, and would rather grab a quick bite before heading back to her place or yours, it is definitely lust, not love. In time, you may find that she wants to skip the date intro all together, and just come over to jump right into action.

    1. She doesn’t want to cuddle

    Cuddling is a sign of affection, and feels almost as good as sex when you’re involve with someone. In fact, a study has found that cuddling is a way of nurturing intimacy. Thing are different if it is lust at play, however. Although you may be spending hours and hours in a variety of tantric sex positions, you may find that once you two are finished having sex, she wants to roll out of bed and head home. This sign can take a less noticeable form in her rolling to the opposite side of the bed and using her phone or taking care of unfinished business, and answering texts… etc. If this happens, she is in it for the sex and nothing else.

    1. All sex and no conversation

    Couples in love never find themselves short on things to say. They simply cannot get enough of each other not just on a sexual level, but also on an emotional and mental level. They can get lost in endless phone conversations and texts about random things that somehow feel fulfilling and interesting to them. If, in your relationship, conversation lags when it’s not a flirtatious tread to bed, this is a warning sign that it is lust, not love.

    1. You don’t feel like she is interested in your life

    You may be quite experienced in female orgasm, showing her a good time and taking pleasure in each others’ company, but if her interest stops at what you have to offer her in bed, it is a very strong sign it isn’t love for her. Love is hungry for everything there is to know and learn about the loved one. If your girlfriend is involve with you, she would enjoy knowing the little things about you: how you like your eggs, how you feel about a political situation, your childhood memories, even your opinion about the latest star wars movie. A person in lust, though, sees these things as irrelevant; a waste of time that can be put to better use.

    1. She doesn’t share details about her life or talk about her feelings

    The flood of conversation about what book she’s reading nowadays, what happened today at her workplace and how she feels about her latest run-in with her old-time frenemy should be reassuring. They mean your girlfriend thinks about you when she needs to talk about something, and that she eels secure and comfortable in sharing these bits of information with you. Even better, she wants you to know her though all these little details. Contrarily, the lack of any shared information other than her favorite sex positions, her fantasies or her past sexual adventures probably mean it’s only about sex.

    1. she doesn’t care about your future plans

    Unless you’re talking about how you plan to last longer in bed in the future, she simply isn’t interested. People in love automatically imagine a future together, and this created genuine interest from her side about your future plans, because your future will be her future. If she doesn’t ask about your dreams and aspirations, and doesn’t seem to be interested if you bring up your future plans, then she probably isn’t seeing you as part of her future, and is only in the relationship because of lust.

    1. Her friends and family don’t know about you

    When two people are in love, they have no problem showing it to the world. They, in fact, want to let the world know that they have found their person. Lust, however, feels temporary, and best kept a secret. If your girlfriend hasn’t introduced to any friends or family, and hasn’t let them know that you exist, this is a strong sign that your relationship is only lust for her.

    Her tendency to keep your relationship quiet, versus showing it off to the world, can also manifest in the way she acts when you two are out in public. While two people in lust generally can’e keep their hands off each other, you may find that your girlfriend acts differently in different settings. You will find that she doesn’t like to have physical contact in public places near her work place or in places where you two can run into people she knows. If you two have actually met someone she knows by coincidence, to be awkwardly introduced as a friend, it is an even stronger sign that it is all about sex for her, and that she doesn’t want to make the arrangement you two have known to other people in her life.

    1. You often wonder if this relationship is going anywhere

    Love feels secure, stable, peaceful and reliable. On the other hand, lust is urgent, volatile, fiery and intense. That is not saying that there is no fire in love, but passionate love combines the fire with feelings of confidence and reassurance. If the vibe you are receiving is making you feel like your relationship is a fleeting thing, leading you to wonder where you are heading, and whether what you two have will last another week, it is probably the fast burning fir of lust that’s making you feel that way.

    1. It is all about your looks

    Her eyes are drawn to your eyes, your body and the way you move, but are they looking deeper into you? When she talks about you, does she describe you as funny and smart, or just as sexy and attractive? Is she as likely to want to hang out with you the you’re not as put together as you usually are, or does the messy hair and unshaved face seem to put her off? If it’s all about your looks and nothing else, you are looking at a girl in lust.

    1. Make up sex

    Reflect on the way you two resolve your fights. A couple in love uses rational conversation to find the root of the problem, and solve it, preventing it from coming back in the future. Lust, however, is all about instant gratification. When you’re in lust with someone, you will find that your fights often end in quick apologies and intense make up sex. The root of the problem and whether or not it reoccurs is irrelevant, because lust is all about now.

    Conclusion

    Lust and love are both connected and different. In the best relationships, you have both. Relationships start with lust or friendship and develop into love, so there is no reason to worry if what you currently have with your girl is mostly heated passion. If you can see your partners interest in more than just sex growing, and you can see noticeable progress in the shape of your relationship, you are on your way to something long-lasting. If you tick off all the above signs with no improvement for months, however, you are in a lustful relationship. Enjoy it while it lasts. After all, lust is not too bad! If you recognize it for what it is, you will be able to reap the numerous physical and physiological benefits associated with sex, and have fun while you’re at it.

    References

    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23070529

    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20088868

    Ben Arnold – Ben Arnold is a freelance writer and a health and beauty adviser. He has been giving beauty and fitness advice to thousands of people all around the globe. Through his advanced studies, he has gain enormous experience in nutrition and healthy diet. His articles have a source on personal and practical experience. Apart from health, he likes reading books and listening music in free time. You can follow him on Facebook, Google +, Twitter, StumbleUpon and Pinterest

    Featured image courtesy of Ben Arnold

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  • 5 Online Dating Tips You Need To Know For Your Profile Page

    5 Online Dating Tips You Need To Know For Your Profile Page

    1. Have a profile taken outdoors

    Inner beauty counts. But, in the sphere of online dating, your profile picture is your hook. It is the first thing a person notices when he/she is at your profile page. That is why you should make sure your profile picture has a positive image.

    Studies from Zoosk found that women responded 19% more to men with profile pictures taken outdoors. The effect of natural sunlight is that it makes people look both uplifted and happier. This gives people the first impression that you are adventurous with the increased happiness experienced by outdoorsy people.

    Play up your adventurous and positive side by taking pictures outdoors and at foreign places such as during holidays, to show how worldly you really are.

    2. Take full body shots, not selfies

    Hoping to vie for attention through your profile picture? Just because celebrities are jumping shamelessly on the “Selfie” bandwagon, should you?

    Selfie is an online dating no-no. According to Zoosk, Selfies have reportedly decreased messages received by 8%. Instead, a full body picture would increase messages received by a tremendous 203%!

    Selfies would cause potential matches to be suspicious of what you are trying to hide since selfies don’t show your whole body and you might have only posted images of your “best-looking” picture of your face. It may also give the impression that you are narcissistic or have no friends.

    Selfies may be a turn off where it gets people wondering how long one would spent in their room taking shots that didn’t make the cut.

    So don’t be shy, ask a friend to take for you. If you worry that your friend isn’t that great of a photographer, just take a full body shot and do a bit of cropping later.

    Be candid, open and confident!

    Ditch the selfie, post a real photo to show the real you!

    3. Take solo pictures, not with friends (or your pet)

    Males who take photos with only them in it received 42% more messages than those who post with friends, and, astonishingly, 53% more than those who post with pets!

    If you post a profile picture with several people, it may be difficult to tell which one is you and make the other party feel that you’re trying to hide what you really look like. This makes you seem less open, truthful and authentic. And, that is not what you want to make the other party that you may potentially meet to feel about you.

    Moreover, if you post a picture with your pet, you may think that it gives a cute and caring image to yourself. However, others would think that you might seem a little obsessed. After all, you are promoting yourself and that people want to get to know you, and not your pet. So, it should not be the very first thing someone knows about you. (Unless you are looking for a pet-sitter.)

    Visit places, do activities, and start taking pictures!

    4. Smile and look casual

    Smiling makes you instantly more attractive. A poll in my work generated that at least 40% of the participants think that the most attractive factor of a person is a great smile.

    Smiles give others the impression that you’re a happy, casual, relaxed and positive person. And that, are qualities that people want in their partners.

    Rather than showing your serious face, which may make you seem mundane and too serious in life, relax and, showcase your most genuine smile to the world.

    Adding to the point of being casual, you should also dress casually.

    No, you don’t wear that costume or lustrous tuxedo on a daily basis. When you’re clearly dressed up, you aren’t showing the real you. That is not what your potential date wants to see when he/she is earnestly considering you. He/she is looking for an everyday partner, and hence, wants to see what you are like everyday. (Of course, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t look nice.)

    You need him/her to trust you and feel your authenticity.

    Go on, and show the real you.

    5. Descriptors are important

    Don’t describe yourself the same way as the majority in the online dating community. The most used and abused descriptor in online dating profiles for 2014 was “laid-back”. Common words like that tend to lose its punch because everyone’s using it. It won’t make you stand out. If you’re using the word “laid-back”, make sure it is an honest descriptor and it shouldn’t be the only word that describes you.

    Your choice of words is crucial. You have to show value and balance between your strength and being nice, because being too nice may let others take granted of you.

    Come up with something unique to describe yourself, by talking about your interest or things that make you different from everyone else. It is okay to narrow into specifics, because it’s better when the other party likes the things about you that you like about yourself.

    So, choose your descriptors wisely, and differently.

    If you need someone to help you audit or increase value of your profile page, feel free to write in to me- I’d be glad to help!

    Cindy Leong – A dating and relationship coach who has helped many youths and professionals in their journey through relationship searching and building. Cindy is a direct and energetic individual, who aims to bring out the best in everyone she meets. Her extensive coaching and dating experience has helped her coach men to find their social standing in the society. Get in touch with Cindy via email at coffee@relationshipstudio.sg

    Featured image courtesy of Shutterstock
    Have an amazing experience or tips you like to share on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

  • My Dating And Relationships Experience

    My Dating And Relationships Experience

    In my life, dating has taken on different roles. From the age of 13 to 23, when I met someone I was finally comfortable sharing my life with. I dated a lot, most were 1-5 dates, as well as a few longer term relationships, that were all lacking or unbalanced in whatever way. It took me finding out what I wanted out of life, to realize what I was lacking the whole time, my confidence. Even though I thought I had it, or at least wanted to pretend I did, the truth came through when I wasn’t getting what I wanted out of the relationship. I now feel that every encounter has impacted me, and I am happy to share what I have learned with the world. Even if it is not your truth, it can still help shed some light onto yours.

    The history of my experience with dating started when I was 13 years old, when the wave of attraction and infatuation was growing. At the same time, the internet and instant messaging, forums, and the like were coming about, and was discovered by me as soon as I was given an email account. It’s vague now, but I ended up meeting a fellow online through a music-related forum. Within days of talking, I liked the person whom I ended up calling on the phone, and this relationship lasted as long as I would have wanted it to, despite all odds being against me, and the fact that he lived across the country.

    Regardless of everyone’s disapproval, and constant exposure to others in high school, I kept this online and long distance relationship going strong. We saw each other for 1-2 weeks twice per year, and I made it work until I turned 18, when I lost my virginitiy to him. And although some might say it is a romantic love story looking in, it was really a constant struggle on my part. The confidence that I was lacking was not being reciprocated by him, meaning that I was the one in the relationship that awaited his every phone call, and was in constant fear of him leaving me and being inadequate.

    After I started fresh at the age of 18, it took me a year to even attempt to go out and start looking. Once I felt ready, I began by filling out an online dating profile. Since I started camming when I was 18, I built up the physical confidence to put myself out there. I ended up dating for years on and off, had slight obsessions with a few men, like the tall one who took me on my very first real date, or the next door neighbor who was the very first man to come onto me that I was into as well, and in person I might add. I did not feel I was picky, in fact, I did not even attempt to go after the most attractive men. Average looking, and I was really open with my specifications before I knew what was attractive to me and what I needed.

    The truth is, confidence is what really turned me on. Other than that, I needed the love to be reciprocated, and still had yet to find that. The next long term relationship I must mention was the first relationship I established through online dating. It lasted from age 19 to 21, when I finally got out. I say got out because I ended up being trapped, physically and emotionally. The way out was there, but required a struggle, and most importantly, confidence. Luckily, I had a strong voice deep down that was on the verge of breaking loose. The thought of leaving was constantly on my mind, starting anew, the beauty and peace of focusing only on myself, and looking for the person whom I truly wanted to be with. At the time though, I really just needed to be alone to figure that out. I knew early on that this was not the right person, however, I did not speak up in fear of the outcome, his reaction and my steps to move forward. And this decision never became easier. The whole toxic atmosphere was beginning to cloud my thinking overall.

    Because of this experience, my confidence after moving on was undeniable. I knew more of what I wanted. However, the journey continued and I relapsed when I fell in love for a brief time with another man online, who lived in the UK. Just like my first online relationship in the past, I would have done anything to make it work, and was even ready to purchase the ticket myself to go there to see him. It was hard when I was faced with the realization that this would not happen, when he deleted me right before my trip to see my friend’s wedding in New York. What was supposed to be a fun trip with friends, was tainted by my sadness of still not finding that person, or anyone I thought who wanted me. I ended up crying in the middle of the after party, and feeling like I was in high school all over again.

    Then time did it’s trick again, and I suddenly didn’t care about him anymore. My interest had shifted to something, or someone more tangible, yet still unbalanced emotionally. But was not lacking physically by any means. It had been about 7 months since I moved into my very own studio cottage, a glorified hotel room in my opinion. But despite the small size, it was located right next to a park, which sealed the deal for me. I knew I wanted to become more physically active, and a park to run in would be a great start. This simple act of starting to run opened up pathways I never experienced in my life until then. My confidence and mental strength was building, until I had enough strength to make decisions clearly. Then it seemed like life was suddenly starting to go my way.

    When going on dates at this stage, I focused on what I wanted out of it, rather than what I thought they wanted. I casually went on a date with someone who messaged me, after nearly a year break from dating online, and this person did not stand out to me physically at first. However, as soon as he began speaking, he reassured me what I have believed about myself all along. And not in a selfish way, but of appreciation. At that point, the decision was mine. There was no more mystery in intentions. We possessed the qualities that we wanted in each other. He wanted to be more sensitive, I wanted to be more firm and decisive. Now, we share our qualities and become even stronger people because of this.

    All in all, dating and relationships all has to do with two main questions you need to be sure of when going in, who are you and what do you want? Now, this is a common misconception as well, the idea that the perfect vision of what you want in a person is out there waiting for you. Therefore, you’re easily let down when this other person doesn’t match up. This is a superficial view on dating, and it goes a lot deeper once you meet that right person. And perhaps, that spark will ignite during the first few dates, but this is only ideal if it is a mutual connection. And speaking from my personal perspective, this is a lot easier said than done.

    When I was presented with that confident person who seemed to know what they want, I wondered if I was that, and was not getting the feedback I wanted. But what I didn’t realize until after I found that right person, was that I was also needing something on their side, as well as my own self assurance. Their facade was a different version of mine that prevented anyone from breaking through. Once we both had the willingness to open ourselves up without fear of being let down, everything made sense and both our needs were met completely.

    My name is Melody Minx and I am 24 years old. I am a webcam model and have been since I was 18, as well as like to create, play video games and watch TV. I also enjoy exploring nature and experiencing new things! Follow me on MyMelodyMinx.com, on Twitter @MyMelodyMinx or contact me at Mymelodyminx@gmail.com

    Make sure to catch my upcoming webcam shows in the future, on websites such as Chaturbate: username Bu770n, as well as check out my website for my content!

    Featured image courtesy of Melody Minx
    Have an amazing experience or tips you like to share on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

  • 5 Rules to Observe To Enhance a Relationship

    5 Rules to Observe To Enhance a Relationship

    A rule of thumb for anyone to bring within and focus on while involved in a romantic relationship is always the presence of an understanding, love, care and support. There are all sorts of couples out there, the ones who never fight because one of the two usually stays quiet and compromises, the ones who always fights no matter where they are whether it’s a friend’s wedding or in their bedroom; they just don’t tend to quit arguing and the ones who fake their relationship as extremely lovey dovey in front of others but in reality they’re like real life enemies by sharing a sense of strong enmity amongst each other. However, no matter how varied someone’s relationship might be from the other but they share one thing in common which is the significant stability and instability amongst them.

    So if you find yourself going through a rocky and bumpy relationship and want stability between you and your partner/ spouse then ask them questions, try different ways in which they’d feel happy about the relationship they’re in and most importantly communicate. Communication between partners is important because that’s how they solve problems together and get tied in a securely attached relationship. Some other rules to achieve a stable relationship are listed below as well.

    1. Say a Big NO to the BLAME GAME

    As Taylor Swift says, ‘and the blame is on me’, well no! The blame should neither be on you and neither on your partner. While going through a rocky phase in a relationship one always relies on a statement saying, ‘this is the trouble within you.’ Consequently, that’s where you enter into a much troublesome phase because you make the other person feel that they’re good for nothing and whatever they did for you in the past meant nothing to you. Girls, never do that! It hurts a man’s feelings real bad and leaves a scar in his heart against you. Moreover, couples always rely on the blame game in order to hold the other one responsible and that seems very convenient for the time being but it creates never ending problems. So if you need an escape towards a steady and happy relationship then,

    • Take the responsibility of not blaming them or yourself.
    • Work to make them happy towards a more peaceful open-relationship.
    • Make them feel so good that they want to turn to you when in problem and look for solace in your arms.
    • Begin to create a relationship which you want by expecting nothing in return and that’s how you’ll eventually get everything you were longing for from your partner.

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    1. Bond by Sweet Gestures

    If you’re looking for ways to enhance your relationship by creating a stronger bond with your partner then is prepared to touch them through your sweet words and gestures. You can do this by getting up before them in order to make them morning or tea or wait for them when they’re back from work and have dinner together. Moreover, once you begin to do this your partner will feel loved and consequently will subliminally start to return back the same amount of love or even more. Dear readers, learn to promote your partner by giving them extra love and attention. Consequently, all of this will lead to a much better connection between you and your partner. You can begin by,

    • Sitting with them and embracing them with sincere love.
    • Appreciating them and their work.
    • Dressing up for them and making them feel important.
    • Leaving behind small notes of love for them.

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    1. Make Frequent Gifting of Expressions of Love

    By gifting, I certainly don’t only mean the material expensive gifts like Diamond bands and Rado watches but sweet little expressions and tokens of love which can be anything in relevance to what your partner prefers, likes and expects of you. Gifting over here is all about one’s thought reflection regarding love, admiration and emotional value rather than anything material or lavish. Moreover, always is playful with your partner because that’s how there will be a light and loving relationship between you and your better half. You can always begin expressing your love by,

    • Singing a romantic song for them.
    • Recording an exclusive romantic video for them.
    • Writing something romantic for them.

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    1. Make Your Partner Feel Important

    You should at all times practice this trait. Make them feel how much they matter to you, appreciate them, be there for them when they need you, love them in times of distress and stand by them when they call out to you. Moreover, deliberately mention those things to them which they do for you out of pure love such as, taking you out for dinner once a week, cleaning the house if you’re working long or even making you green tea after dinner and just sitting down and chatting with you. Tell all of this to them, tell them how much all of it means to you and it will surely boost them up more and they’d want to do more than before. Furthermore, when you begin doing this you’ll make them feel important and they’ll feel that they play a crucial part in your life which you don’t take for granted even a bit. You can even,

    • Leave thank you notes for them.
    • Text them an ‘I love you’ while they’re at work.
    • Give them a call in the middle of the day.
    • All of this will definitely spice up things for the better in your relationship.

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    1. You Need to Forgive and Forget

    If you really want to work for the relationship you’re a part of then learn to forgive and forget. However, it clearly doesn’t mean that you let your partner take advantage of your kindness but for the sake of a second chance let go off their mistakes and start over with a new, positive and happy approach. Moreover, once you forgive them you’ll be at peace yourself and they’ll respect you even more.

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    Senior Writer for OLWOMEN.com, an avid reader, fashion and make up enthusiast who simply lives to write and talk about all kinds of stuff. Focusing on open-relationship rules these days and especially about the signs he’s cheating you! Images provided.

     

    Have an amazing experience or tips you like to share on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

  • 3 Easy Ways to Activate Your Heart

    3 Easy Ways to Activate Your Heart

    This is an exclusive She’s Next video that I made for them!

    She’s Next is a site that empowers women to create financial, social, and spiritual freedom.

    Go on over to their site to watch my sixth video with them! This is the fourth of four videos under the series: Women Loving Themselves and Their Presence.

     This article and all associated images have been republished with permission from Dr Martha Tara Lee.
    Please visit Dr Martha Tara Lee’s website to view the original post and more of Dr Martha’s work.

    Feature image courtesy of Shutterstock
    Have an amazing experience or tips you like to share on SimplySxy?  Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

  • Why Sexuality Isn’t the Whole Story When it Comes to Love

    Why Sexuality Isn’t the Whole Story When it Comes to Love

    1. Love is lawless.

    There are no rules. You make the rules and no one can say anything about it!

    1. Love isn’t sex.

    That’s just one expression of it. All relationships have to find an expression of love that best suits that relationship. And that expression is really nobody else’s business.

    1. Love is unconditional.

    When you love someone, you love who that person is, not what that person is.

    1. Love is a container for growth.

    It’s two (or more) people who are trying to grow on different but aligned tracks. It’s supportive and encouraging and honest. You can try new things and expose your pains and grow in ways you never thought possible. There are difficult times and then there are good times that make it all worthwhile.

    1. Love isn’t dependent.

    Love isn’t about needing somebody because you’re incomplete. Love is about recognizing that you’re whole and complete on your own, but that another person makes the journey much more fun. Love is about partnering up with somebody else to create something that’s never existed before.

    1. Love is worth fighting for.

    You have to get up and fight for your love every single day. You have to fight to love yourself as you are.

    1. Love isn’t a choice.

    Love isn’t conscious. It’s not something you can will into your life whenever you please. It will hardly ever come when you expect it to. It will hardly ever look like you thought it would. But you’ll know it when you feel it. It’s a feeling deep inside you that you don’t want to let go of. It’s a deeper, internal yearning that supersedes all reasoning. And, against all logic, you plunge full-force into this crazy little thing called love.

    Edited to meet copyright requirements.
    Reproduced with permission and thanks from http://www.mindbodygreen.com and Mike Iamele
    For the full article please see http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-15147/why-sexuality-isnt-the-whole-story-when-it-comes-to-love.html

     

  • I’m an Otherwise Straight Man (Who Fell in Love with His Best Friend)

    I’m an Otherwise Straight Man (Who Fell in Love with His Best Friend)

    Mike was a “figured out” guy, an unquestionably straight man who came to the realization that he had fallen in love with his best friend.

    After a bout of serious illness, his roommate took care of him and saw to his daily needs. Gradually he found himself looking forward to seeing Garrett when he came back from work, he missed him, he became the light of his life.

    It occurred to him that he might be in love. Of course he shook it off but that unmistakeable feeling made him reconsider. One day, Mike took up the courage to say “I think I’m in love with you.” Luckily for him, Garrett shared the same feelings.

    Both had no idea how to make things work. There was a possibility that it could not work. But it was a relationship.

    Mike says “In every moment, we’re changing and evolving and growing. In every moment, we’re reconstructing our identity. We’re not defined by our decisions from two years ago. We’re not even defined by our decisions from two minutes ago. We’re defined by who we choose to be in this very moment.

    We’ll never be “figured out.” Over the course of our lives, we’ll constantly be transforming into a more and more authentic version of ourselves. Our preferences will change. Our passions will change. And we have to be brave enough to choose the thing that makes up happiest in each individual moment.”

    Edited to meet copyright requirements.

    Reproduced with permission and thanks from http://www.mindbodygreen.com and Mike Iamele

    For the full article please see http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-14997/im-an-otherwise-straight-man-who-fell-in-love-with-his-best-friend.html

    Labels and misconceptions

    I thought this was a particularly poignant story to share with our SimplySxy readers. When we think about sex and sexuality, we often forget an essential aspect of love.

    I think it is fair to say that all of us are brought up with a particular identity, mother with father, boyfriend with girlfriend, gay or straight. For some of us at adolescence, we have an opportunity to reassess our identity. Sometimes our strong bonds of identity inculcated in us from childhood makes us resist feelings, which un-mistakenly pull us in a particular way so we deny those feelings.

    Sometimes we place a label on ourselves. No, I am definitely straight. No, I must be gay. It’s a natural human instinct to define what we don’t know to help us make sense of that unknown. To reinforce that definition, we push away our innermost feelings and attach negative misconceptions about a particular sexual tendency. We even go as far as to hate people who have accepted that part of themselves. For example, “ew he’s gay, I hope he doesn’t come on to me’.

    I propose, in the spirit of openness that Mike’s story evokes, that we ask ourselves, as honestly and without judgment as is possible, “could I be different?” The answer, in my view is, probably; maybe; who really cares other than myself?

    Am I over-simplifying things? Possibly. There are other very important considerations, like family approval, legislative prohibitions, to name a few. It is however, still up to you to make your relationship work and more importantly, to be brave and want to make it work. Is it worth fighting for?

    On Love and other things

    Mike is truly blessed (I don’t use that word often, its bastardised in many ways) to find love and be reciprocated at the same time. I can only wish I can find my way on the same path as he did. But love is difficult and fraught with trials, rejections and tribulations. But as Mike encourages, be brave and hold on.

    xoxo Steph M

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  • Have A Sexciting Vday

    Have A Sexciting Vday

    Have a Sexciting Vday!!

    Life has been monotonous enough, and you are telling me that you just want to go through the motion this Valentine’s day with your wife? Come on!!

    Do something out of the norm for you wife. How about a naughty evening for a change? Many times, women complain that their men do not spend enough time gearing thing up, or enough effort spicing things up. Guys, it’s time to take the lead this Valentines day!

    Instead of paying a premium in restaurants and on roses, DIY everything YOUR sexy way at home!

    1. Get home early to cook – in only an apron over your body to get yourself in the mood. Feel the air brushing through your skin and you will feel sexy instantly. Wait for her to return home.
    2. Play some sexy jazzy music on the hi-fi. Humans are visual and audio creatures. Music gets yourself in the mood while waiting for her return.
    3. When she gets ‎home, welcome her in that apron suit. Have a good kiss at the door before welcoming her to sit at the dining table. She should be very shocked by now.
    4. Also get her to put on an apron, just like you. Instead of a usual gift, give her a sexy gift for this Valentine’s day. How about some sexy Babydolls? A naughty vibrator? Something that she will feel sexy in/on?
    5. Instead of a ‎bouquet of flowers, how about a jar of condoms or edible undies?? Something that is really unexpected. By now, ladies already know what they are in for. The rest is up to your creativity to spice it up and create the fireworks that you want.
    6. Have a good conversation over dinner. Please, gentleman, meet her needs FIRST!! No getting into action yet, let the sexual excitement build up through your attention towards her. Many women complain that they lose attractiveness in the eyes of their husband as they age. Proof this wrong to her through your undivided attention to her. Make sure you esteem her and edify her like you have never done it before. Even though you think she already knows, that’s not the point. She loves to hear it from you, again and again. So do it if you want what you want at the end of the night. Women love it!
    7. Have some dessert wine (Ladies love them). Some alcohol makes the night a little more colorful. A little tipsy in a safe environment such as your own house is perfectly fine. In fact, it is so wonderful because there is nothing to worry about. Let yourself loose and let your heart take you home.
    8. Have a small strip poker game or adult board game. You both have only 1 piece to strip anyway. It shall take you into action very soon.
    9. End off the night whichever way u like it. It is time for your needs to be met, gentlemen. Make sure you make it memorable with a tight cuddle at the end. Let the tingling sensation linger after the fireworks to rekindle the love and affirmation.

    So there you have it! Something different this Valentine’s day. You are free to add in any segment that fits your taste or fantasy. Remember, so something different, challenge your creativity in the realm of sexuality. I am sure you can rekindle the love between you and your spouse through a small act of creativity.

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  • 7 Quick Tips on How to treat Women on a Date

    7 Quick Tips on How to treat Women on a Date

    Gabriel Lamur, the best quality escort Companion for women, Sydney, interstate and worldwide, shares 7 quick tips on how to treat a woman on a date.

    1. Before you start thinking about the actual appointment, you need to understand exactly what you want from the girl and what she wants from you.

    2.  Do not let her wait for you at the first date.

    3.  Be polite

    4.  Be a gentleman

    5.  Be a good conversationalist  as well as a good listener

    6.  Compliment her

    7.  Be self-confident and mature, offering a single rose on arrival followed by a compliment to the lady. I have a good connection with women and to me they all beautiful.

    Interested in finding out more about Gabriel?  Visit his website at http://themalecompanion4woman.com or follow him on twitter @Gabrielescortau

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  • How to survive long-distance relationships

    How to survive long-distance relationships

    Some relationships lead up to engagements and marriages and others in my instance, to a long-distance commitment. While I was and still am enjoying the moment; aka not in a hurry to walk down the aisle, I was certainly not expecting for the petit copain and I to be spending the next couple of months 2,500 km apart. By his standards, we were already kinda leading a long-distance relationship to begin with as most of his counterparts are living with their partners while we continue to meet up twice, or even once a week. As for me, I had barely settled down comfortably in the routine (or lack thereof) of our relationship, only to have to go through yet another wave of changes. Then came the move … the first few days were absolutely insane and I was incredibly annoyed when he failed to turn up for our first Skype date, before learning that his new mobile plan had yet to be activated and that he was caught up in an extended dinner with his new boss. Over the subsequent weeks, we began to establish certain routines in hope that these will keep things running till we eventually close the distance.

    The talk

    Prior to the shift, it is very important to figure out the dynamics of the ongoing relationship and to make plans for the long-term future. For us, this was a looming possibility that we had discussed casually many months earlier but somehow, it did not to be much of a reality back then. When it finally did sink in, the rationale and practical me immediately proposed that we remain as amiable friends while he took a long while to ponder before telling me as a matter-of-fact that he was very clear about what he wanted with us and merely referred to this as a “very small issue”, asserting and reassuring me that we will make things happen. On top of this, we also made a mutual pact to inform each other upfront should either of us decide on pulling out of this commitment or if we meet someone new.

    Texting …

    When frequent weekly meet-ups are no longer possible, WhatsApp became one of our main means of communication as Skype dates proved to be difficult due to the long working hours that we both have. While this was perfectly fine over at my end, it posed to be a lil tough for the copain for he was never much of a texting and phone call man, preferring long conversations over coffee to the wonders of technology. That said, these days, am receiving messages comprising more than 30 words in a single sentence and most of our rare Skype conversations have lasted more than an hour.

    and “pictorial sexting”

    There is only so much conversation that two people can have and while we always endeavor to keep it PG friendly (the firewalls have eyes),  it can be rather interesting at times to let some very suggestive pictures do the talking instead.

    Getaways

    Instead of counting down to the day that we will finally close the distance, one effective means of making the many kilometers apart more bearable is to plan multiple miniature getaways and to always part ways with the next vacation set in stone; albeit don’t just talk about it but at least have the dates fixed and air tickets booked so that there is something real to look forward to. As the gluttony duo, most weekends were splurged on massive brunches and now that we are miles apart, this gives us the opportunity to save up those “nom-monies” for more epic trips around the world together. We are now more financially able to travel further and opt for better accommodations as opposed to our last vacation in a random-moth-and-cockroaches-infested bathroom.

    End game

    Back to the first point, one of the reasons that I only agreed to this current arrangement is that apart from my huge affection for this man from the land of many wonderful cheeses, we embarked on this long-distance relationship with a specific end game and timeline in mind. Indeed, absence makes the heart grow fonder but I truly believe that prolonged absence also renders frustration, disappointment and the eventual indifference. No matter how much we adore each other, a long-distance relationship can only last when there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Thankfully, we are working towards closing the distance within the next half-a-year and while this may seem like a very short period apart as compared to many other couples out there (you have my utmost respect!), this episode has definitely made me much more appreciative of the petit copain and his immense patience in putting up with my daily dose of nincompoop-ness.

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