While love can’t be put into words, it can be best described as a strong feeling of affection, and genuine interest and care for the other party. Lust, on the other hand, is pure fire; it is raw sexual attraction based solely on the physical factor. The two feelings are not exclusive, however; they usually intermingle, and may leave you confused.
You have been seeing someone and sparks are flying. The attraction is mutual, and the sex is mind blowing. This situation may have been going on for a few weeks or for quite sometime now, and you may be beginning to wonder about the nature of your relationship. Whether it is bursts of crazy urgent sex, or hours of tantric sex, you may be wondering if that’s all there is. You want to know if what’s going on between you both is lust or love. Here are the 10 telltale signs that it’s lust she feels for you:
- Dates are a means to an end
If you are at a point in your relationship where you’re wondering if what you have is list or love, odds are you have been courting your love interest for sometime. A look at the nature of your dates can be eye opening. Do you take the time to do activities together, and enjoy things you love to do? Or are your dates more of a door leading to a bed of crumbled sheets? If she seems less than enthusiastic to go on an actual date, and would rather grab a quick bite before heading back to her place or yours, it is definitely lust, not love. In time, you may find that she wants to skip the date intro all together, and just come over to jump right into action.
- She doesn’t want to cuddle
Cuddling is a sign of affection, and feels almost as good as sex when you’re involve with someone. In fact, a study has found that cuddling is a way of nurturing intimacy. Thing are different if it is lust at play, however. Although you may be spending hours and hours in a variety of tantric sex positions, you may find that once you two are finished having sex, she wants to roll out of bed and head home. This sign can take a less noticeable form in her rolling to the opposite side of the bed and using her phone or taking care of unfinished business, and answering texts… etc. If this happens, she is in it for the sex and nothing else.
- All sex and no conversation
Couples in love never find themselves short on things to say. They simply cannot get enough of each other not just on a sexual level, but also on an emotional and mental level. They can get lost in endless phone conversations and texts about random things that somehow feel fulfilling and interesting to them. If, in your relationship, conversation lags when it’s not a flirtatious tread to bed, this is a warning sign that it is lust, not love.
- You don’t feel like she is interested in your life
You may be quite experienced in female orgasm, showing her a good time and taking pleasure in each others’ company, but if her interest stops at what you have to offer her in bed, it is a very strong sign it isn’t love for her. Love is hungry for everything there is to know and learn about the loved one. If your girlfriend is involve with you, she would enjoy knowing the little things about you: how you like your eggs, how you feel about a political situation, your childhood memories, even your opinion about the latest star wars movie. A person in lust, though, sees these things as irrelevant; a waste of time that can be put to better use.
- She doesn’t share details about her life or talk about her feelings
The flood of conversation about what book she’s reading nowadays, what happened today at her workplace and how she feels about her latest run-in with her old-time frenemy should be reassuring. They mean your girlfriend thinks about you when she needs to talk about something, and that she eels secure and comfortable in sharing these bits of information with you. Even better, she wants you to know her though all these little details. Contrarily, the lack of any shared information other than her favorite sex positions, her fantasies or her past sexual adventures probably mean it’s only about sex.
- she doesn’t care about your future plans
Unless you’re talking about how you plan to last longer in bed in the future, she simply isn’t interested. People in love automatically imagine a future together, and this created genuine interest from her side about your future plans, because your future will be her future. If she doesn’t ask about your dreams and aspirations, and doesn’t seem to be interested if you bring up your future plans, then she probably isn’t seeing you as part of her future, and is only in the relationship because of lust.
- Her friends and family don’t know about you
When two people are in love, they have no problem showing it to the world. They, in fact, want to let the world know that they have found their person. Lust, however, feels temporary, and best kept a secret. If your girlfriend hasn’t introduced to any friends or family, and hasn’t let them know that you exist, this is a strong sign that your relationship is only lust for her.
Her tendency to keep your relationship quiet, versus showing it off to the world, can also manifest in the way she acts when you two are out in public. While two people in lust generally can’e keep their hands off each other, you may find that your girlfriend acts differently in different settings. You will find that she doesn’t like to have physical contact in public places near her work place or in places where you two can run into people she knows. If you two have actually met someone she knows by coincidence, to be awkwardly introduced as a friend, it is an even stronger sign that it is all about sex for her, and that she doesn’t want to make the arrangement you two have known to other people in her life.
- You often wonder if this relationship is going anywhere
Love feels secure, stable, peaceful and reliable. On the other hand, lust is urgent, volatile, fiery and intense. That is not saying that there is no fire in love, but passionate love combines the fire with feelings of confidence and reassurance. If the vibe you are receiving is making you feel like your relationship is a fleeting thing, leading you to wonder where you are heading, and whether what you two have will last another week, it is probably the fast burning fir of lust that’s making you feel that way.
- It is all about your looks
Her eyes are drawn to your eyes, your body and the way you move, but are they looking deeper into you? When she talks about you, does she describe you as funny and smart, or just as sexy and attractive? Is she as likely to want to hang out with you the you’re not as put together as you usually are, or does the messy hair and unshaved face seem to put her off? If it’s all about your looks and nothing else, you are looking at a girl in lust.
- Make up sex
Reflect on the way you two resolve your fights. A couple in love uses rational conversation to find the root of the problem, and solve it, preventing it from coming back in the future. Lust, however, is all about instant gratification. When you’re in lust with someone, you will find that your fights often end in quick apologies and intense make up sex. The root of the problem and whether or not it reoccurs is irrelevant, because lust is all about now.
Lust and love are both connected and different. In the best relationships, you have both. Relationships start with lust or friendship and develop into love, so there is no reason to worry if what you currently have with your girl is mostly heated passion. If you can see your partners interest in more than just sex growing, and you can see noticeable progress in the shape of your relationship, you are on your way to something long-lasting. If you tick off all the above signs with no improvement for months, however, you are in a lustful relationship. Enjoy it while it lasts. After all, lust is not too bad! If you recognize it for what it is, you will be able to reap the numerous physical and physiological benefits associated with sex, and have fun while you’re at it.
Ben Arnold – Ben Arnold is a freelance writer and a health and beauty adviser. He has been giving beauty and fitness advice to thousands of people all around the globe. Through his advanced studies, he has gain enormous experience in nutrition and healthy diet. His articles have a source on personal and practical experience. Apart from health, he likes reading books and listening music in free time. You can follow him on Facebook, Google +, Twitter, StumbleUpon and Pinterest
Featured image courtesy of Ben Arnold
Like to be featured on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!