Connect with us

How To Have Sex With Trans & Genderqueer Persons


How To Have Sex With Trans & Genderqueer Persons

I love sex! And sometimes I hate it. Not the act of sex, but how sex is portrayed by some aspects of culture, how it gets bound up in the darker side of human nature. I love everything about fucking, tender intimacies and desperate, sweaty quickies, long drawn out journeys based on touch and scent with no goal other than experiencing every feeling your body and your partner’s body(ies) can communicate to you. From kinky BDSM scenes, to vanilla softness; I love what sex can teach us about ourselves and about consent and our culture.

Misconceptions About Having Sex With A Trans & Genderqueer Person

There are many different types of trans person, and every trans person’s body is different. The main type of a trans person you see in porn is a trans women; but there are trans men, non-binary people, gender fluid people, a-gender people, and every permutation of gender possible. The categories I’ve listed are only some terms used by English-speaking cultures to describe the complex rainbow of genders available. Gender changes with culture and language, and I think it is a beautiful thing to have so much diversity at our fingertips.

Tips For Having Sex For The First Time

Get to know the person a little bit. How do they present themselves in the world? How do they describe themselves? Transgender and non-binary people do not always have surgeries, and do not always use hormones. There are many different kind of surgeries and hormone therapies. People who identify themselves as transsexuals are usually pursuing (or have completed) some form of hormone therapy or surgeries.

It’s never wrong to ask someone how they prefer to be addressed and how to best respect their gender. If you’re hiring a professional escort or BDSM worker, look at their promotional material. This will give you an idea of who they are, what services they provide, and how they prefer to be contacted and spoken to and about. Take note of those things and your experience with that sexy professional is sure to be amazing.

Things One Must Never Do

Slurs and verbal abuse are never acceptable unless it’s part of a specifically negotiated scene. It is considered rude to ask about “the surgery”, as there are many different kind of surgeries a trans person might pursue.

Tips To Have An Orgasmic Time

Communication, communication, communication! Tell them what you’re into, how you get off, what parts of your body are the most sensitive. Ask your partner how they like being touched and fucked. Talk about if you have an injury, illness, or STI. Know your limits and boundaries and respect them and those of your partner’s. And piles of cash directed at your trans lover never hurts. 😉

Cory Cocktail – International adventure consultant, bespoke power exchange architect, body artist.

Follow Cory Cocktail on

Twitter: @CoryCocktail

Switter: @CoryCocktail



Article images courtesy of Cory Cocktail

Like to be featured on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at!

Cory Cocktail

International adventure consultant, bespoke power exchange architect, body artist.


More in LGBTQ

To Top