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The long and often slippery road to finding a good Sensual Massage

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The long and often slippery road to finding a good Sensual Massage

Massage is for Real Men

It is said that real men don’t cry or wear their hearts on their sleeves.  Real men are resilient and stoic, that they shun sensuality and intimacy in preference to instant gratifications.  It is also said that real men don’t seek professional help for their psychological aches and pains or emotional fears.  And so, when it has come to reducing their stress, this has traditionally limited their options for treatment, instead, relying on a hard session at the gym or the pub to eradicate the anxieties that engulf them in today’s competitive image conscious society.

Massage is on the “up”

Therefore, it should come as no surprise that according to the International Spa Association, the number of men who have visited Spas in the last five years has grown by 900%.  Spas are now socially accepted, and are of course extremely enjoyable.  Londoners recently admitted that a Spa treatment helped them relax better than a Friday night at the pub and it is massage that is at the top of the list for chosen treatments for men.

The challenges for men having a massage

As every man who has experienced massage knows it can be an encounter of mixed feelings.  On the one hand to have your body and muscles worked deep and to feel the intimate touch of another’s hands, male or female, is a wonderfully relaxing therapeutic sensation.  On the other hand it can also be an experience fraught with anxiety and tension, since with even the most expert hands at work, many men become acutely aware of the rumbling sensations of arousal as the body responds and with it the fear of obvious visual detection and subsequent embarrassment.

Sensual Massage – more than just a “rub & tug”

Getting a “hard on” during a regular massage is probably every man’s nightmare, particularly if the treatment is clearly designed only to be therapeutic.  The embarrassment is compounded more so if the masseur has not brought up the subject of potential arousal and through their own awkwardness to the subject, leaves it as an unspoken “demon” that hangs in the air throughout the whole proceedings!

It is because of this that many men will avoid having massages at all, but increasingly more and more men are discovering the availability,  pleasure and safety of receiving a Sensual Massage that is designed to include both proper muscle work and allows, sometimes even encourages, full arousal often to orgasm.  The internet now gives plenty of opportunity to find a sensual massage, but how do clients find a masseur who is both trained in massage and comfortable to include intimate erotic touch as part of the treatment?

Spot the  “Givers” from the “Takers”

With none of the official massage schools broad-minded enough to train practitioners on how to give sensual massage, clients are generally reliant on their own initiative when searching the pages and pages of adverts.  Often, sensual massage will be couched in “Tantric” language, which much to the dismay to true Tantra teachers, has become a bi word for erotic massage.  Just because it talks of “Lingums” and “Wands of Light”, it does not necessarily mean you will receive a professional massage.  So for those men who do want to enjoy a sensual massage given by a professional, here are a few tips on how to sort the genuine “givers” from the “takers”.

10 Tips on how to find a good sensual masseur

  1. Has the masseur got their own web site? – Generally, if they have invested effort and money in a web site then they will be more serious about their work.  The better the web site, the more professional the masseur.
  2. Ask if the masseur has been trained by a legitimate massage school in either Therapeutic, Swedish or Sports Massage – A tip is to ask if they include Effleurage or Petrissage strokes in the massage.  Any properly trained masseur will know these correct  terms for long flowing strokes and kneading movements.
  3. Ask for a full description of what the massage will or won’t include, if they indicate that they do not offer sexual services then they will more than likely be genuine in their approach.
  4. Do they display client testimonials on the web site? – Of course it’s easy to make these up but usually the genuine testimonials can be spotted rather than those self-written.
  5. Beware of discounts – A good sensual masseur does not usually need to give discounts.
  6. Don’t go for anything less than 60 minutes – 75 or 90 is the usual length of a full body sensual massage.  Offering 30 minutes generally means only one thing!
  7. Do they have their own massage studio or do they just offer “out calls”? – A proper massage can really only be given on a massage bed or possibly a yoga mat, beds are not suitable whether hotel or home and generally implies that the massage will slip quite quickly into something more sexual and then finish as soon as the client reaches orgasm with no discount for reduced time.
  8. Look for “talent” not “tit”.  Don’t get swayed by erotic suggestive pictures of the masseurs, take notice of the more professionally presented masseurs.
  9. Look at their operating times – If it’s predominantly a late night service then it will be more “tug” than “rub”
  10. If you can, when making the enquiry, speak to the masseur themselves, a lot can be understood from their level of spoken English and knowledge of their service
  11. Go with your “gut”.  If you don’t feel right, don’t book.  If you feel iffy on the phone, imagine what you will feel like when they have their hands on you.
  12. And finally, NEVER be afraid to walk away before the massage begins.  If the venue, cleanliness and atmosphere makes you uncomfortable, even if you have to pay a cancellation fee, it’s better to be out-of-pocket than out of your depth!

If you have any questions for Colin related to this subject or on any other sexual performance related issues, Colin will be delighted to answer them.  He can be contacted at

Colin Richards

Colin Richards is a sex and relationship mentor based in London, UK. He is a certified Psychosexual Therapist and is also qualified both as an Imago Relationship Educator and a 2nd level Co-Active Life Coach. Colin is also a 15 years experienced Masseur , and has trained in Hypnotherapy, CBT and NLP.

Colin is now recognised as one of the Uk’s leading therapists in his field and has made it his calling to teach people how to achieve better sexual communication within relationships. By combining his many skills Colin has built a fine reputation for his friendly and yet pragmatic no nonsense approach to sex and sexuality. Colin has pioneered a combination treatment he calls Psychosensual Therapy that integrates both his mentoring skills with sensual massage which is particularly finds beneficial with issues in aspects of sexual performance, sexuality and lack or fear of intimacy.

Colin works from his own treatment rooms in Marylebone Central London but for international clients he can provide support and knowledge via Skype. Colin also speaks about and leads workshops on sex and sexuality.

He is the creator of the Sexonality Test a revolutionary new system that helps people understand their sexuality better by offering an alternative to the traditional three-box approach to human sexuality. He is also the creator of The Game of 33, a psychoanalytical after-dinner game. Colin scores 35 on the Sexonality Test making him Heterobisensual.

Get in touch with Colin via email at


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