Tag: Sexual Satisfaction

  • What Is The Standard Sexual Frequency For Each Age?

    What Is The Standard Sexual Frequency For Each Age?

    It is a mistake to think that age does not interfere with sexual intimacy between four walls. This is because studies have shown that age plays an important role in factors such as frequency and quality of sex life.

    But… what is the average number of sexual relations for each age? Do young people have much more sex than adults, as one might imagine?

    No doubt this varies by age, depending on various factors, such as health, libido and lifestyle.

    According to an American study by the Kinsey Institute for Research on Sex, Gender and Reproduction, the tendency is to decrease over the years and even vary from once a week to once a month.

    Sexual frequency by age

    In summary, the study says that young people between the ages of 18 and 29 have approximately 112 sexual relations a year, corresponding to three encounters a week. Then adults between the ages of 30 and 39 have an average of 1.6 sexual relations per week. And those known as mature, have 69 relationships a year, or 1.3 relationships a week, which is a little more than half compared to the youngest.

    But, what are the factors that influence each stage?

    Undoubtedly, the research result is related to the passing of the years, the stress of daily life, the obligations and family routine, including also the loss of physical and mental fitness, which are certainly aggravating for the decrease of sexual frequency.

    The scientific journal The Journal of Sex Research, also published that the physical changes that happen as the years go by, added to feeling older, can influence overall ability.

    In short, these studies point out that as we age, our chances of developing chronic health conditions increase and end up negatively affecting the frequency and quality of sexual activity.

    Marriage and sex

    Naturally, as you can imagine, marriage has its share of blame when it comes to sexual frequency. This is because 34% of married people have sex between two and three times a week, 45% have it a few times a month and 13% only a few times a year. This often leads to infidelities with acquaintances or professionals, such as escorts from Skokka.

    In other words, marriage is an essential reason for sexual frequency, because in addition to 34% admitting to having sex between two and three times a week, the research concludes that married or engaged people who have sex on a regular basis are arguably happier, not having frequent need for the practice. Sex is more enjoyable when relationships per week reach an average of four or more times, compared to those who have sex only once in the same period.

    As far as this “enjoyment” is concerned, the researchers state that it is the more mature and committed women who enjoy relationships more, because with age they get to know themselves, and also the couple, since even though they don’t have sex as regularly as in their younger days, the quality undoubtedly outweighs the quantity.

    No doubt, with time, women focus less on the sexual frequency and more on the emotional and intimate points of sex, also emphasizing the knowledge of their own bodies.

    It is clear then that relationships without commitment do not compare in quality with those of a steady, married relationship.

    Does sexual interest wither with age?

    We immediately reassure everyone by answering no. According to another study conducted on the sexuality of men and women between the ages of 40 and 80, it was found that interest in sex does not decrease as age advances.

    On the contrary: for 80 percent of men and 60 percent of women, sex is an important part of their lives and essential to their well-being and happiness.

    For the experts involved in the research conducted by the University of Chicago, the numbers are higher than imagined. Perhaps because we always consider that only young people have a sexual appetite, but the research proves that no, age does not influence sexual appetite. This is why a considerable percentage of the clients of the sexy escorts in Sunshine Coast are elderly.

    Scientists have realized how necessary it is to make sure that the quality of these sexual relations remains good as men and women enter their old age.

    The sexual behavior of 26 thousand men and women between 40 and 80 years of age were evaluated in 28 countries, including Brazil, where the research was conducted by the Oswaldo Cruz Foundation (Fiocruz).

    Contrary to what specialists have always thought, men and women over 40 continue not only to find sex important, but also to practice it with regular frequency.

    More than half of those who participated guaranteed that they have sex between one and six times a week. In Brazil, 75% of the men and women interviewed said that they have sex at least once a week.

    The scientists said that the data are very similar to the times that younger people have sex. On the other hand, doctors point out, however, that the quality of relations tends to get worse with age. Between 39% and 44% of those interviewed claimed to suffer from sexual problems.

    What are the most common problems?

    They are related to difficulty in erection in men and reaching orgasm in women. Therefore, it is important to take care of sexual health because it has been proven that sex is essential for human beings practically until the end of their lives.

    It is essential to develop new therapies, medicines for sexual problems, and also to deal with sexology without taboos, naturally, as it should be.

    Having sex frequently is good for your health

    With all the research, the benefits of sex have also been proven to help lower blood pressure, reduce stress, anxiety, and help with sleep quality.

    Let’s take care of our sexual health!


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  • How To Give A Lady An Amazing Sexual Experience

    How To Give A Lady An Amazing Sexual Experience

    I believe sex is a beautiful experience, however it is just a biological function at the end of the day. I look at sex like eating, sleeping etc. It’s a necessary function where you are allowed to get creative and show another person how much you appreciate them even if it’s just for their appearance.

    What An Amazing Sexual Experience Is To Me

    An amazing experience is when all parties can live in the moment. You don’t want it to end. You are matching her rhythm and vocal cords and all parties become one. Everyone feels satisfied afterwards.

    What Turns Women On

    I find that each individual woman has their own hot spots. You have to take your time with each one and find them. My go to move is going for neck kisses, then down to the breast.

    3 Favorite Sex Positions

    I love when a woman is riding because she is expressing her desires on you. I also love missionary because of the passion involved. Face to face during sex is one of my favorite positions. I also love that from-the-side early morning position.

    Tips To Bring Her To Orgasm

    Exercise and take your herbs (Maca root, horny goat weed) so you can last longer. Women love longevity and living in the moment. Listen to the way she screams when you hit certain spots and follow suite.

    How I Love To Finish

    I love to ask her if she is ready for me to nut then I will ask her where. I always let her decide but my favorite way to finish is creampies.


    Mr Side Dude – An amateur film performer with over 100 scenes. Based in the midwest and east coast, he films with beautiful ebony women from all over the U.S.

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    New content weekly on www.mrsidedude.com


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  • How To Please A Woman

    How To Please A Woman

    Well my personal outlook on sex is that it’s a beautiful art form created by two people. Intertwining emotion and feelings. It showcases the animal we have inside us. It’s a cosmic journey in between two bodies and two minds. It’s a elevation of the spirit. It’s the bonding of two souls. Sex is the closest that two people can get to each other. Sex is an act. You do it. It doesn’t magically happen. You set forth and make it happen.

    Some people get sex and love mixed up. Love is an emotion, sex is an action. It’s a wonderful thing when used for positive purposes. It keeps you attractive and feeling young. Sex is a very healthy part of the human experience. Without sex, none of us would exist today. Now people are opening up sexually and starting to feel good about themselves. They are starting to learn their kinks and likes and learning how to please their partner.

    Are Men Clueless About What Women Want?

    That’s a misconception to those who are aware of what a woman wants and how to fulfill those needs. Those who haven’t educated themselves on the things that drives women crazy. Those who don’t understand the woman’s body, yet alone their own.

    I used to work at a adult bookstore in my 20’s and all my friends who knew I worked there thought I was a freak, just looking at all the naked women in the naughty magazines, when in my down time I was actually reading all the books. The Karma Sutra, The Ultimate Love Making Book, Everything You Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To Ask, a lot of books that taught me something about bettering my sex life. I used to bring home Nina Hartley’s instructional videos and I would watch and study them. I know it may sound crazy that I do so much research on sex, but I wanted to learn the right things I needed to know to make a sexual experience with me everlasting.

    When we leave each other’s presence, her body will be still lingering for yours. Guys need to watch for the signals that a woman is telling you that she’s ready for you. The subconscious signals that she doesn’t even know she’s doing. But if a guy is aware then he will know what she wants. She will let you know when she wants to be touched. Guys need to study on the hotspots of a woman. They need to study on the G-spot, the S-pot and other areas. Guys need to learn about the woman’s body so he can please her in the best way possible.

    You got to know how to arouse all her sexual senses. Sound, touch, taste, smell, and connect with her mentally. Men need to learn their bodies too. Build stamina and make it lasting for the girl. It’s our job to satisfy her to the fullest and she will open and do all the freaky stuff you want her to do. A real man is going to know what a woman wants and delivers it every time

    How Important Is Foreplay?

    Foreplay is very important role in the sexual escapades we do. Sex is supposed to be like a good book or movie. It starts off slow, but then it picks up. When it gains momentum, that’s when it gets exciting. There’s love, action, fun, excitement, danger, the climax and then comes to an end.

    Well, foreplay is the intro to the story of sex. Foreplay isn’t just oral sex, it’s the exploration of each other’s bodies. This is one of the best times a man will enjoy during this sexual conquest. He gets to feel the warmth of the skin which is good for bonding. He gets to find the hot spots that makes her laugh, tingle, and gasps for air. Her voice tones and moans are being hardwire to the man’s brain, sending electric shocks to his penis, getting him erect. This is time to be close and intimate. A man gets to taste the flavors of his woman giving him a animalistic vibe. Making him more and more hungry for her.

    Foreplay is what gets a woman to open up to submit to a man and being willing to receive him inside her. Yes indeed, foreplay is my thing. Now when I do foreplay, I have no set way of going about it. I usually just go with the flow, but I like to let my tongue explore across a woman’s body. The wetness from the saliva makes it easy for the tongue to slide across. I do that until I find her hotspots and work the area around it. I like to massage a woman get her comfortable and relaxed for sex  Bite her neck, kiss her ears. Kiss her belly and around her lower region till she squirms in ecstasy.

    Now since I love giving oral, I go to town pleasing a girl, making sure she a good amount of orgasms before we have sex. Those are just some of my tactics…Lol. Can’t give away them all but I hope they can help out a guy who’s having a hard time in the foreplay department. Use those methods and she’s gonna love you, trust and believe.

    Ways To Have A Good Sensual Experience

    Sex is a mood, an emotion, and an art. To have a good sensual sexual experience, you got to tap to all of those senses. I used to do a video blog called HOW TO BE A ROMANTIC into which I always said that romance is a lifestyle. So you have to build that lifestyle. Same with sensuality. It comes from within and flows like water freely. Set the mood with the proper music to get the mind intrigued. Have her in sexy attire that will draw more attraction to you of her.

    A man loves to see curves, so ladies, wear something revealing but also leave a little to the imagination. Men, explore her body, heighten her senses. Listen for the sounds that lets you know that she’s enjoying what you’re doing. Communicate, ask her what does she like, or if what you are doing is making her feel good. Take your time and don’t rush. Give her the enjoyment that she wants to feel. Whisper in her ear how much you like connecting with her, which will get her closer to climax.

    After all that is said and done and the both of you have climaxed, take time to hold each other and afterglow. Hold your hand over your partners heart so you can feel there heartbeat. You can bond real close and feel the life flowing through each other. Calm down and relax. That will make for a good sensual sexual connection.

    My Favorite Sex Positions

    Now as far as positions go, I love them all. With missionary it makes me feel strong and masculine over the woman. I feel a lot bigger as a person. I like being able to look down at the girl to see if she is being receptive to my strokes. I’m able to play within her vagina deep and shallow. I definitely love doggy style because I’m an ass man. The bigger the better. I like to see the voluptuous cheeks shake and make waves with each stroke. I’m able to massage her back while delivering my strokes. That gets them all mushy.

    Now, one of my favorite positions is being rode. I love a rider. That position is for the women. They are able to take control and put the penis in a spot that makes her feel the best. Also, I’m able to grab her ass and feel all the softness of it. I like making good transitions going from one position to another. Sex is an art, a synchronized dance between man and woman. Be the best artist you can. Try all kinds of positions and paint pretty pictures in the bedroom.

    Mistakes During Sex That Turn Her Off

    There’s many things that can happen in the bedroom that can turn her off.  Having a bad attitude. Having terrible hygiene. Being too aggressive, not being able to get erect. Men having an orgasm before they do. If the man is not making her orgasm, then that is a for sure way of stopping yourself from getting another chance with a girl.

    Women build up all this anticipation and willingness to give themselves to you, and you end up shooting holes in the boat and start to drown because of these key mistakes. If one thing I can stress to men, that it is to learn your own body. Learn how it works. Listen to what it tells you. Learn how to gain stamina and learn how to control your penis. It’s yours, connected to you and your brain, learn how to control it. If you have sexual anxiety and can’t get it up, learn how to relax and accept the fact that yes, this lady wants to have sex with you and yes, that it’s alright for you to do it. Relax and enjoy.

    One thing that can throw a woman off also is non communication. Not responding to her or not telling her what feels good. That can get a girl frustrated. They’re not mind readers but we men expect for them to know what we want. Without communication, it could make for a dead session. So if a guy takes in some of this information, I say it will definitely help him on his sexual quest of pleasing a woman


    Myster Mysterious – ADULT CONTENT CREATOR/ PRODUCER/ MALE TALENT. I SPECIALIZE IN ALL BLACK, INTERRACIAL, BUSTY, AND BBW FILMING AND PHOTOGRAPHY. MY MOTTO: SEXY, CLASSY, NAUGHTY, AND NASTY

    Some people call me the P.T Barnum of the industry because I bring all the freaks together like a circus show to give you unique sexual shows. I look to shoot people with unique sexual talents.

    I have a lot of projects lined up for the future. I’m continuing on with my new blowjob series… THE ART OF SUCKING DICK. Also I’ll be working on a MILF interracial DVD release, Welcome To The Freakshow, Big Beautiful Babies, Black Love, Pussy Stories, and MYSTER MYSTERIOUS PRESENTS THE CASE OF THE MISSING VIBRATOR. I got a gang of ideas and in the near future they will come to light.

    Follow Myster Mysterious on

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    If you’re looking to book me, or inquiry about doing a shoot feel free to email at mystermxxx@gmail.com


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  • Ways to Kink Sex Up

    Ways to Kink Sex Up

    Sex is something that can be very enjoyable and pleasurable for all parties involved. I personally do not believe that it needs to be accompanied by romantic love, but I do think it is important for my own enjoyment that there is a mutual respect, and that at least on some level I genuinely like the person whom I am sharing this intimate experience with. Basically, I think sex is what you make of it. If it is an expression of love for you, then that is what it is. If it is a novel adventure, that is fine too. As long as we are all having fun =)

    Does Introducing Kink Spice Sex Up?

    I think anything we do often can lose some of the excitement that it once had, and that is for even the most fun things. Like sex. So trying new things can bring some of the excitement back, and make you feel things in ways you never did. I think it can be liberating when you know that you can be anyone in sex, you can be the boss at work but enjoy being dominated in the bedroom, for example.

    Introducing some domination and submission can be exciting for the right people, and sadomasochism (S&M) can incorporate new sensations that can heighten orgasm. Light S&M is all about pleasure. It doesn’t necessarily work that more pain equals more pleasure, and it’s one of those things you need to try to find out what you like or not. Some men like their nipple lightly bitten, and some like them pulled hard or clamped. It depends on the person receiving pain, and it is all about the pleasure so if it is not working for you, try less or a little bit more. Not everything is going to be everyone’s cup of tea, and trying something that doesn’t work for you is no reason to not try something else, especially if you are curious or the thought excites you. The other thing to be open to is that you don’t have to be completely dominant/sadistic or submissive/masochistic. I have one client who enjoys ball and cock torture, and at the end likes to dominate me.

    I encounter men who know that that is what they like, or what they want to try. I have some clients who like my feet in their face during sex, and I love watching a man enjoy sex and be overcome with pleasure. It’s like an addition to the intimate play we are doing, adding more parts of our bodies to it and varying the experience, but at the end of the day it’s still about feeling good and having fun.

    My Favorite Go To Items 

    Bed ties are great as it’s a nice way for men to be taken out of control and I enjoy teasing a man who is tied down. Sometimes, in vanilla sex, men can feel a lot of pressure to perform. I think it can be a nice treat for them, and I enjoy the power dynamic of being in charge, while vicariously enjoying them enjoying being tied up, as someone who also enjoys being at the other end of it.

    Kinking Things Up For Someone New

    I generally have men know what they want to try, and some of them are nervous about trying though, and I think through having rapport and being happy together even before the sex probably helps a lot. Many clients are quite attentive and concerned that I enjoy myself too, so I think that they feel less nervous when they see me enjoying it. Some men who don’t mention trying kinky things, if they are kind of dominant, I might ask him to spank me or move his hand to my head when giving a blow job, some men really enjoying taking it a notch up, but not all will and it’s something I do through my own judgement of how they are during the sex.

    Ensuring clear consent and safety is important. Otherwise, you should be nervous. Also you are your own boss of your comfort, and you do not need to prove anything to anyone, like that you can give it or that you can take it. I may be repeating myself, but it’s about enjoyment, and in my experience, doing it with someone who cares how you feel is integral to good sex.

    Do’s & Don’ts For Safe Play

    There needs to be consent at every stage, so just because one party is ok with spanking, don’t surprise them with a paddle. There is some common sense, like unless you know what you are doing, don’t even try breath play for example. Start small and light, and be attentive to your partner. People will often have a safe word, like red (traffic light) for example. But if you are only playing lightly, you can have this word but stop will still mean stop (unless you have discussed beforehand that you want to say no/stop and only use the safe word).

    If you are doing things with ball-gag or where one of you can’t talk, then a tap can mean stop (discuss this before the action). You need to be attentive during sex to how your partner is feeling. For toys, if you are spanking, bruising happens quite easily even with a hand if it’s hard, so be aware of it and decide whether you are ok with some temporary marks or not beforehand. Hand is safest, and I personally prefer if I do use toys with spanking (or have one used on me) that it has a relatively large flat surface, like a paddle.

    Other toys like cat-o-nine tails might feel good, but you need to be more careful with it as the smaller surface area means it is easier to break the skin (which is not what we want to do). Anal play can be a really enjoyable addition to vanilla sex, lube up and go slow, and make sure you are using objects made for sex, they will have a base on them so they don’t get lost =)

    Don’t be shy to try things on yourself (in fact I highly recommend it). It can be good to know how things feel before doing them to someone else, while being aware that we all have different pain thresholds.


    Ana AngelI am an independent escort in New Zealand. I am a hedonist who really enjoys sex. As a sex worker I get to explore my own sexual fantasies, as well as those of my clients, in a safe and fun environment.

    Follow Ana on

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  • How Do You Get Better Sexual & Relationship Satisfaction?

    How Do You Get Better Sexual & Relationship Satisfaction?

    One night stands are wonderful, casual sex is wonderful, sex within the confines of a monogamous relationship is also wonderful. I’ll admit that my views and boundaries have become more opened as I’ve matured.

    Relationship & Sexual Dynamics

    I can only speak for myself. When it comes to a personal relationship, I prefer clear and defined roles.  I’m actually quite traditional in this aspect of my  life. I love it when a man leads and allows me to be a woman.

    Does better communication lead to better sex?

    I find sex to be most enjoyable when there is familiarity and you are comfortable enough to say what feels good (preferable not during the act) or ways to make certain things feel better. Also, when you know someone well, you often times can read the nonverbal cues.

    Other Factors Leading To Greater Sexual Satisfaction

    Other than communication and attraction?  Chemistry, confidence is very important. Being open minded is also wonderful.

    Does greater sexual satisfaction lead to more satisfied relationships?

    Absolutely.  I feel as much as we hate to admit, couples enter into relationships because of some benefit.  Usually good sexual chemistry, financial gains and shared interests. If  the sex is amazing , and there are shortcomings in other vital areas in the relationship, often times they are overlooked or seem unimportant.

    This question reminds me of my makeup artist that I’ve grown close with.  She is in a five year relationship with a man who is financially unstable and keeps their apartment very untidy.

    She complains to me about him whenever I see her.  One day I asked her why she chooses to stay with him, her response, “Can’t nobody hit it the way he does“.


    Vivian Vanderbuilt – If you love a woman’s curves, you are sure to love mine! Caramel skin, sultry eyes and a smile that will brighten your day. I look forward to becoming your favorite distraction.  I am affectionate, passionate, engaging and spontaneous. I have a very genuine personality and am very down to earth. If you are tired of the same old routine, I will be a breath of fresh air!

    Follow me on

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  • The Ultimate Brain SEX for HER

    The Ultimate Brain SEX for HER

    He captivated me with his words telling me how sexy I was, how sweet my lips tasted as he lightly swept his hand down my side. “Lay still”, he said as he spread my legs and teased my inner thighs with his kisses. “Close your eyes and lay on your back, arch your back for me so I can look at your sexy body”, he said with authority. As I did that, he ran his hand from my foot up between my legs parting them even wider as he softly teased my inner thighs, and kissing my swollen clitoris. I could feel my entire body shaking at this point, wet with anticipation and a longing for him to command me what to do next with his words.

    There is nothing sexier than a man with a BIG brain that knows how to use it to turn his partner on. Brain sex can be the ultimate tease for a woman and a sexual advantage for a man that knows just what to say. It is no secret that women get turned on by sexy stories, as any book store can attest to this—just take a gander down the romance isles. Many of these books written for women about romance defiantly have an element of what others may deem as soft porn. With this knowledge at any man’s finger tips, you would think that almost all men have gathered these books, researched them and tried them out on their partners. If it was that easy, every man would have women melting in their hand … RIGHT?

    The most difficult task though is how and when you deliver these sexy words to her. Timing and delivery is everything, this is why turning popular books such as 50 Shades of Grey and the Twilight saga from book to screen lost some of its sex appeal. The trick is to know your partner. Each woman is unique in her response to brain SEX and tapping into her sexomoter is the first step. A man that delivers his sexy words with confidence is going to be quite different than a man saying the same words without confidence. Choosing the right moment is as important when you have her full attention and this can be done with a simple text a couple times during the day. As the sun goes down, teasing her as to what you have planned to do to her later that evening will leave her with anticipation. Mental foreplay is a caveat to brain SEX. Lastly, once you have her full attention you can also place a blindfold on her eyes while she listens to you telling her what you want her to do, without any visual distraction. Testing out your techniques on her is part of the fun as well as trying new ways to stimulate her brain leading ultimately to mind blowing sex for the both of you.

    Have a question on your mind related to sex? Send them in to editorial@simplysxy.com


    Dawn Michael is a Certified Clinical Sexologist and Intimacy Counselor. Her proven techniques have helped thousands of couples to not only improve their sex lives but the intimacy in their marriage as well. Read the rest of her profile below!


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  • The importance of masturbation in a marriage

    The importance of masturbation in a marriage

    The couple that masturbates together stays together?

    One of the biggest misconceptions people have in relationships is that your partner is going to know your body better than you know it yourself. But on the contrary, understanding your own body and how it functions sexually, including what feels good to you and how to achieve an orgasm, is what makes for better, more intimate sex with your partner. That’s one of the many reasons why masturbation—especially mutual masturbation—can help create better intimacy in a relationship or marriage, both sexual and emotional.

    For many women who are married or in long-term relationships, the frustration of not having an orgasm during sex or even foreplay can cause a lack of enjoyment and intimacy problems in the relationship. The best way to discover how to have an orgasm is to masturbate on your own and see what feels good. For some women, this can change the sexual intimacy in a relationship dramatically. When a woman is able to have an orgasm with her partner, she releases oxytocin, a hormone responsible for feelings of love and bonding, which has been coined “the love hormone.” For men, solo masturbation can be a way of helping with problems concerning erectile dysfunction, stress release, and learning new techniques on how to prolong orgasm.

    Once you have both spent time getting to know your own bodies, you can move on to mutual masturbation, which is a fantastic way to help your partner understand and learn what turns you on—and it can turn them on as well. This can be very erotic, sexually stimulating, and a fun way to add some spice to the relationship. The best way to start off masturbating mutually is to take turns achieving orgasm, really paying attention to your partners’ techniques and turn-ons. You can also do it at the same time, which may evolve into oral sex or some other form of pleasuring each other.

    As relationships move forward, our bodies and minds change. What may have brought a person to orgasm in their 20s may be different from what turns that same person on in their 40s. Masturbating and finding new ways to stimulate yourself and then showing that to your partner—on a regular basis—can keep the sex passionate, intimate, and sizzling hot.


     This article has been republished with permission from Dr. Dawn Michael.


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  • Things Every Girl Can Learn from Porn Stars

    Things Every Girl Can Learn from Porn Stars

    Hello everyone at SimplySxy.com! My name is Rachael Madori and I’m an adult performer from New York City but will soon be relocating to Los Angeles for my career. I’ve been in this line of work for about seven months which seems short but seven months is a good amount of time to learn the ropes and geB7ibR-iCcAIdMM9t a good grip of what this job entails. Personally I’m a low-key kind of girl. I enjoy my time away from shooting porn by working out at my gym, reading whatever book has caught my eye and exploring the ever changing city of New York with my boyfriend. I’m also a serious foodie and avid blogger. I’m really excited to be writing this piece because I always say that my favorite thing about being an adult actress is that I can speak on many subjects surrounding this industry. I want to speak to the women who are not in front of the camera. Hopefully I’ll be able to clear up some rumors, squash some misconceptions and bring to light some things that every girl can learn from a porn star.

    I’m going to start off my talking about some of the misconceptions that have been brought to my attention and that I myself had developed from watching porn before I became a part of the industry. First let’s talk about pubic hair. As I was growing up, I always thought it was disgusting and the opposite of sexy to hunnamed-11ave any pubic hair between my legs. Porn made me think so. However, there is so much porn showing women sporting little patches or full blown bush. As my manager and many directors are saying nowadays: “Bush is in!” Whatever your preference is for your vagina don’t ever let the idea that clean shaven is the only way to look sexy. I have been as smooth as a baby down there ever since I was fourteen years old and in the past few months I’ve been sporting a cute triangle patch and have never felt more hot. It’s honestly a preference and I’m strangely proud of my hair down there. I feel about my bush the way men feel about their beards. So whatever your preference is: own it and feel sexy.

    The second misconception I want to bring to light is the truth about foreplay. I feel as if men will watch porn and obviously the sex doesn’t happen an hour into the video, it happens within the first few minutes most of the time. This creates a weird idea that in the real world when a man and woman are ready to have sex he can just finger jam you for a few seconds and then stick his dick inside of you. Foreplay isn’t necessary in porn. It is in real life. Men and women alike need to understand a pussy isn’t always ready and a penis isn’t always up and running. The illusion of zero foreplay in porn exists because while the camera isn’t running that’s where the foreplay is. The male talent is getting his dick up and hard while I’m getting my vagina wet and willing. If I’m not feeling it that day there is a magical thing called lube that you don’t see me use on camera but honey, a porn set without lube is not a porn set. So let’s nip the idea that foreplay isn’t needed in the butt. When I’m having sex in real life, off set, it’s the time before I let him inside me that is really hot. The anticipation. Your job of pleasing him. His job of turning you on. It’s very important. 0010

    This next idea that porn makes people drastically underestimate is anal. I don’t know how many times I’ve met men that think having anal sex in real life should be just as easy as it looks in a porno. I’m sorry but I love anal in my personal life and it is no where near what I experience shooting it on set. Some people aren’t even aware that you must use lube when putting anything inside of your ass. In porn, there is so much preparation before an anal scene. We use butt plugs going up in size to make our butt more comfortable with having large things put inside of it. We use enemas to clean out our assholes and make sure there isn’t a mess. This isn’t always the case either. Accidents happen. When you start sticking things in odd places that technically weren’t meant to have things stuck inside them you can’t be surprised when someone shits on you. The difference is when accidents happens in porn you don’t see it in the video. When accidents happen in real life, you can’t yell cut and have your personal assistant clean up the mess. Anal takes time, practice, a lot of lube and a lot of trust. Don’t ever let someone expect you to take a dick in the ass like an anal queen on Brazzers.

    This one is for anyone interested in penises. One of the biggest misconceptions porn brings to people outside of the industry is penis size. I’m sorry but eleven inches is not the average dick length. I’ve met women and men alike who see a seven inch penis and consider it below average and small. Not only are there drugs to keep dicks going strong for hours on end but the pool of men in porn are not the “average” guy. Also, the idea that only a giant cock can please a woman is so far off from the truth it upsets me when men become self-conscious because of the types of men I work with on set. Being confident in yourself is the number one way to have great sex. Watching porn and comparing yourself to a small pool of men who happen to have larger than average dicks is only detrimental to your self-esteem and pretty illogical. 1

    The last thing I want to talk about that seems great in a porno but not so great in real life is the sex positions. I’m a little torn on this subject only because I think it is extremely important to not keep doing missionary every time you have sex. Personally I think if you do this it will end up boring one or both of you. However, if you watch porn and think your girl will take your dick in a pile-driver position for half an hour, you’re also wrong. The thing about porn is if I’m put in a difficult position to hold such as reverse cowgirl or wheel-barrow I am only holding that motion for five minutes, tops. So, although it is very important to keep sex fun and engaging please don’t expect your girl or guy to hold an absurd position for too long because you see them doing it in a porno. Remember I get to cut camera, stretch it out and return to the position later. You don’t.

    Now it’s time for me to talk about some truthful things that porn can teach you. The first and foremost thing you should learn is the women and/or men in the video are confident in their abilities and you should be too. I don’t have the perfect body, I don’t suck dick the perfect way, I can’t ride a dick perfectly and I’m not always that great at doing a sexy strip tease. The important thing is I am still confident. Porn has taught me to love my body and to love all the things it’s capable of. So what if you can’t deep throat an eleven inch penis? You would be surprised at the lists some performers have of what they can’t do and they don’t beat themselves up over it. The women and men I’ve met in the industry have confidence to them even though they know they aren’t perfect. You have these men and women getting in front of dozens of people in a room and exposing themselves to the most invasive and personal form of criticism. If they can do this, you can be confident enough in yourself and non-judgmental of your partner.

    The next thing porn shows that is truthful is variety! No, not all the positions are easy or even doable for an extended period of time but the point is to spice things up. You never see the same position through an entire porno. That would be boring to watch and it’s boring to do. You don’t have to go crazy and have your man screw you doggie style while you hang halfway out of a window but it’s important to keep things interesting. You and your partner could watch a porn and find a new position you’ve never tried that doesn’t look too difficult. Tell him you want to try it out and you won’t be surprised when he gets excited. Being adventurous and willing to try new things in the bedroom is a huge reason I love creating the porn I create. Sometimes I picture a couple watching one of my videos and being inspired by something I do which leads them into the bedroom. Sex is such a raw and natural phenomenon that finding new ways to experience it is beautiful. Maybe you could buy a new kind of toy for him or her. Experiment with different lubes, dick rings, vibrators, blindfolds or handcuffs. You never know what freaky desires you’ll find deep inside yourself and your partner.

    Another truth that you don’t see on camera but I feel inclined to talk about is sexual boundaries. Whatever happens in a porn video is consensual and agreed upon by both the man and woman. This is always how it should be in real life. Just as I’m never afraid to stand up and make very clear what I am and am not okay with, you should feel equally as convicted about your boundaries. I would never let a fellow talent, director or producer push me to do anything I wasn’t willing to do or try. You should always know your worth and your limits. It’s extremely important when engaging in anything sexual. Your body is the most personal thing you have and it shouldn’t be taken for granted. I love trying crazy new things but there are always safe words, a mutual understanding of what exactly is too far and there is trust. Make sure this is the case in real life too.

    Now let’s talk about dirty talk. If you think dirty talk is just for the porn stars, you’re wrong. We talk every minute of every day. It’s our form of communication. Why wouldn’t we use it to our advantage while we do the most personal thing in the world? A lot of my girl friends that are not in the industry tell me: “I know you dirty talk on video, but you don’t do it at home with your man right? It’s just porn talk.” That’s not the case! Don’t feel weird shouting the things that come to your mind while you’re having sex. I mean as long as it’s not someone else’s name. Personally I think dirty talk drives men crazy but I’m not a man so I can’t vouch. Even if it’s not dirty talk don’t feel weird telling them to keep hitting the same spot, move to the left or smack your ass. I don’t shout a script in my videos, I say what my body wants me to say. Embrace your ability to communicate!

    The last thing porn can teach you is HAVE FUN. Unless you’re watching a very hardcore and dominating scene everyone in the video is usually having a steamy good time. Let that slutty side come out in the bedroom. Embrace your inner carnal instincts like the ones you see on camera. Don’t feel weird yelling out, scratching his back and getting lost in each others’ bodies. Porn should be sexual inspiration not a video reminding you what you can’t do. I love the movies I create because I’m giving my fans and anyone who watches it a fantasy. Sex is nothing to be embarrassed of, nothing to be ashamed of and nothing to feel weird about. Whether you’re prude by nature or a down right slut: own who you are. The porn stars you see have completely accepted their natural feminine sexuality and embodied it. You are no different in this aspect! What a girl can learn from porn stars is that wether we’re on camera or behind closed doors our sexuality is undeniable, it deserves to be explored and it is nothing to be ashamed of and you are just the same.

    I really hope I’ve cleared up some things about porn and porn stars. It’s really important to me to break down the negative stigmas surrounding the sex industry and bring to light that porn stars are normal women too. We’re not here to make others feel inadequate, we’re here to inspire sexuality. Let’s not forget that pornography is filmed and edited, real life isn’t! Be proud of your body, your abilities and don’t judge your sexual partner too harshly. We’re all here on this Earth, enjoying each others bodies and our own.


     

    More of Rachael’s works:
    “Barbarella XXX: an Axel Braun Parody” for Wicked Pictures: Coming soon!
    “Down The Throat 3” for New Sensations: Coming out 2/26!
    “Back Up Plan” for Porn Fidelity: Out now!
    “Let’s Try Anal” for Mofos: Out now!


    Image courtesy of Rachael Madori
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    Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

  • The chastity belt … for him !

    The chastity belt … for him !

    He has been a naughty man and needs to be put into chastity, because he is not pleasing me …

    Can you imagine that this handsome man would want you to put him in a male chastity device and control his orgasm?

    This may sound barbaric or even unrealistic that any man would want this, but to some couples it can be a way to add excitement to their sex life. Male chastity is one topic that is not often talked about or exposed.  The reason why is that there is such a psychological component to it that is difficult to understand.  Sexuality is not just about a physical release but to some people who like to have their minds stimulated along with their body they crave more advanced sexual play.

    Placing a man in chastity can give the woman control over his orgasm, but not only that it can be a way for the man to be dominated.  He knows that he cannot touch himself even if he wanted to, and now he is left with pure sexual energy that he has to channel into his work day.

    Denial of orgasm for a period of time is more psychological than physical.  Men have expressed to me as a clinical sexologist that just knowing the device is on them gives them the ability to concentrate better at work and become more successful at what they do.

    Some men that have experienced erectile dysfunction in the past or a fear of not being able to please their partner sexuality, find that by wearing the device is their punishment.  The reality is that the punishment is also their excitement.  Men have practiced denial of orgasms for centuries, but understanding the reasons why they do it is not always understood, even from the person who may be practicing it.

    The human body and how people release their sexual energy is not entirely about the end result of the release but the tease of getting to the orgasm.  Male chastity is just that, a tease for many men, and for some a way to escape the pressure of performance in the bedroom.

    For more information on male chastity go to TheHappySpouse or contact Dawn for an appointment (805) 732-7847


    This article has been republished with permission from Dr. Dawn Michael.


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  • Foreplay moves that will drive him wild

    Foreplay moves that will drive him wild

    Foreplay. I hate the word. It sounds mechanical. Perfunctory. A bland set of must do acts that we all endure to get to the point of laying naked together. I struggle to define it even if sex is my business. It has life and vitality and is staggeringly important. My pre-sex routine is dependent upon on whom I am with. There is no set repertoire of actions that comes into play. My body responds to the individual person, to his touch, needs and wants and at the same time to the sex ultimately I want played out. Foreplay sets the pace of the sex you will have. Sex is theater and foreplay is the opening act. I have been extremely fortunate to enjoy my body and the bodies of some noteworthy men. I can safety say that I will not get to the end of my life and wish I had enjoyed more men. I have had some intense sexual encounters and to be able to give someone else pleasure is a pleasure in its own right. It is an honour to be able to mesh and fall into each other; to be the giver of ecstasy is divine. Foreplay is a way of showing the man you are with that you enjoy your sexuality.

    Too few tell you to enjoy your sexuality, especially if you are a woman. That it’s a gift. No one ever tells you that fucking is not the end game, nor is counting the number of orgasms had (or faked). I consider myself fortunate to have had life, mind and body-affirming sex. The sex has been wonderful and I have learnt many things from the remarkably unremarkable sex as well.

    I am a tad old fashioned when it comes to being fucked. I can hold my own but in the bedroom, I am very much inspired by the bohemian lifestyle of Henry Miller and Anaïs Nin. She shaped my view of men and moulded my approach to the opening of sexual encounters and adventures

    The way you fuck depends on the way you first play. For me, the thrill is in the seduction, the tease. Making him aware that he knows how much you want him, that you want to make him ecstatic and arrive at the point of post coital stupidity where a man forgets who he is out of pure bliss. I adore watching a man’s face when he has an orgasm.

    Foreplay is an attitude and a confidence. This is not a definitive must do guide; it is what I find works for me. Foreplay can be any sexual activity that precedes intercourse but it needs be emotional as well as physical as it is the moment that you create the intimacy. It’s about enhancing sexual desire and it creates the trust between two souls and from this stems intimacy. Intellectualise it, politely fuck with his head so to speak.

    There are however, a few tricks that you can employ that will make him look at you like it’s the first time he has seen you, make that man drop to his knees at your front door and have him breath you in.

    I will start by saying that I don’t consider oral sex to be foreplay. It is more than that. At the very least, it’s the lovely interlude just before being fucked. I do not subscribe to Bill Clinton’s theory of sexual relations. I view oral sex as sex (the hint is in the name) as unlike Mr. Clinton, I believe that sex is anything that involves a penis and as oral generally involves the penis, then its sex regardless of what Hillary chooses to believe about her husband. Foreplay is something a little more indirect; it is about encouraging the penis, not involving it directly.

    Eye contact. I cannot stress enough how much this works in setting the tone. Eye contact is key to intimacy. Look into his eyes when you open door and hold that gaze and then smile. Kiss him. Everything you do should be done looking into his eyes. Unbuttoning his shirt, rubbing his penis though his jeans to get him hard, when you unbutton your shirt or unzipping your dress. Eye contacts is all about exuding confidence and it’s that confidence that is the turn on. Look into his eyes when he is about to kiss you, when you tell him how much you want him inside of you. If you are a bit shy, then just dart your eyes away before coming back to him

    Kissing. Kissing is important. It’s the key to foreplay. It’s more intimate than sex itself. It’s the most requested service a sex worker gets asks to perform. Why? Because of the closeness it brings. When your mouths fit effortlessly together, it’s a sure-fire indicator that the sex to follow will be awesome, in my experience if your mouths don’t sync the sex will be off. So, learn how to kiss. Its an art, a learned skill that takes practice. Gently bit his lips. Kiss him as soon as you see him, allow him to gently hold his hands on your face whilst kissing. Walk backwards as you are kissing, gently (or not so gently) slam him up against the wall. This is what lovers do. They fuck with passion and that passion stems from the kissing. If you really want to tease him a bit, hold back a little before your mouths touch and say ‘how much do you want to fuck me right now’ Yes, do this while looking into his eyes.  

    Wear. You don’t have to dress up if that’s not you. You just have to be yourself. If matching bra and undies are not your thing, then don’t force it. There is perfection in imperfection. Messy bed hair, understated make up, mismatched knickers. Wear something that you can slip out or hike up whilst you straddle him. Let this be a lesson learned, no one looks sexy trying to pull a leg out of skinny jeans. You also need to be able to kick off your heels or keep your boots on. Go sans knickers if wearing a skirt, go braless and with just hold ups, undies and a cardigan. Just give him a hint of your boob. Invest in wonderful vintage inspired stocking and suspender sets. One of the most erotic experiences I have ever has was with a man who pulled out of me mid-sex, stood over me as he sat me up on the edge of the bed, then pulled up my stockings up and re-clipped the belt straps looking at me as he adored my stockings. 

    Enthusiasm:  Your man needs to know that you are into him, that you enjoy being caressed and fucked. You do this, of course, by touch. You do this by moving your hips. You need to grind your pelvis into his. Rub your hands over his penis, get him hard through his jeans, rub his inner thigh and his arse. Please do not forget to touch him. He needs to feel that you are into him. Suck on his fingers whist looking into his eyes then, without too much subtlety, guide his hand under your skirt and into your pants and ask ‘can you feel how wet I am?’  Sucking his fingers gives him a healthy clue as to what is to come next.

    Free his nipples. Please do not ignore his nipples. A man’s nipples are almost always ignored. They should not be. They are a good and unusual focus of your attention. He will adore having his nipples tweaked, flicked, licked and lightly bitten … you get the idea.

    Sex Worker Tip:  Lastly, a sex worker tip from a pro. If you are worried about not being turned on because of your nerves, put a little lube on before he arrives. Trust me when I say that this, when he feels how wet you are, he will be so that you will forget your nerves.


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