Tag: BDSM

Humiliation And Slave Training For Subs

I’m intelligent, sexy, creative and passionate amongst many other things. Of course, the ‘slaves’ reading this will also want to hear that at times I’m cruel, aloof, demanding and perhaps even heartless, but true submissives that seek a long term service will also find me compassionate and intuitive. As for where I’m from, I’m British. I’ve had people tell me that they think I’m not of this world, that I’m from another dimension or even that they think I am heaven sent. All you need to know is that I have a classic English accent and I currently choose to reside and play in London.

Mistress Clarissa

What Is Slave Training and Humiliation?

Slave training is a distinct from humiliation. Slave training allows me to utilise many of the skills I have as the goals for each slave may be different and training is itself therefore diverse. I have basic standards that I expect from everyone who comes to see in terms of politeness, respectfulness and cleanliness but slave training specifically implies a longer term service and some kind of positive transformation of the submissive into a better slave.

This kind of positive transformation can be achieved through instruction, examination, reward and punishment. It can also be achieved through rituals which I love incorporating into my sessions. Any slave in a long term training under me will learn how to write, memorise and recite an oath of allegiance to me and how to build rituals and dedicate them to me as their Mistress. These might involve reciting certain words, or repeating actions on a daily basis. They might be attached to particular activities such as bathing, going to bed, exercising and eating. I also like to control my slaves through imposing chastity, allowing them to only release with my permission as part of a ritual.

The rituals prepare the slave for serving me, they become a part of the slave’s life bonding their inner world to me. This ensures that during face to face training, the slave is already pliable and receptive to my instructions. Desirable behaviours are encouraged through reward, undesirable behaviours are discouraged by punishment as necessary depending on how the slave is progressing through their training. Humiliation is a specific form of sanction which can be employed. The durational aspect of training allows me to gain an insight into each slave and identify the triggers, the words, the actions and the tasks that will humiliate or shame a slave. It is interesting to watch different slaves approach these challenges in their own way, forcing themselves to comply ultimately because they want to please me, because they will feel good about themselves if they are a good slave. I am not an overly patient person and even the least perceptive slave will pick up on my intolerance for procrastination and comply. A few examples of possible training activities include grovelling and kissing my boots in bars, crawling after me in a busy park, drinking my urine, eating dog food, licking thick mud from my boots, following a diet plan, following an exercise regime, maid duties, and a plethora of other delightful abasement.

Requests From Slaves

As slave training is a long term commitment for me and the slave I tend to be a little choosy whom I pursue this with. I get requests for many sessions and some who ask for slave training don’t really understand what it entails. I have half a dozen or so slaves in long term training at the moment but as it is so rewarding for both parties I should welcome a few more into the stable.

Preparation Is Key

Both the slave and I do a great deal of preparation. We will communicate extensively before a session, that communication being part of their training. Principally this is by email as it gives us both time to consider things. I then use this correspondence to plan and structure the session, taking into consideration how the slave can amuse me and particular activities that will appeal to them. As the session nears I will choose my outfit and identify the tools that I will use and at that stage the session really starts to take shape in my mind.

Typical Slave Training And Humiliation Process

This is almost impossible to answer as each process is different. My slave training relies on communication which allows me to treat each slave as the unique individual they are. I might dehumanise or objectify them at times but that is all in the context of our communication which has allowed me to create a ‘bespoke’ experience for the slave which we both find very satisfying. It is no surprise that this service tends to appeal to more intelligent slaves, but not necessarily experienced slaves with a wide spread of interests, creativity, communication skills and awareness. The long term nature of this training allows a narrative to develop with new chapters written each time we correspond or meet.

Obey Or Get Punished

Of course they do that is their nature to wish to obey and to please their Mistress. The rituals also prepare the slave for doing whatever I ask of them. No matter how difficult, they trust me and this is the key. I can also be very persuasive when I need to be with a mixture of threat and enticement. Usually the obvious signs of my impatience are enough to motivate a slave to follow my orders no matter how tentatively they are approaching the situation..

Safety Precautions For Beginners

That depends on the nature of the training but its probably wise to start with simple safer activities, the aspiring dominatrix must first feel comfortable with taking control of her slave and the responsibility that goes with that before complicating things with equipment and procedures. Establishing a calm authority is the first step. I would suggest that people read some of the many informative ‘how to’ manuals pertaining to specific activities that interest them and that are available and see if the reality matches their fantasy.

There are also resources being offered by the BDSM community to enable people to learn how to do things safely such as workshops and presentations. Of course couples can also go and see a Mistress in order for her to show them something specific or just so that the aspiring domme can get an idea of how to give her partner the submission he needs. I always welcome couples who wish to explore themselves and each other. You can also go on a tour of a dungeon to find out more about equipment and how to use it, London Dungeon Hire www.londondungeonhire.co.uk offers a warm welcome and an excellent extended tour and provides a safe space for people to play in.

I have just returned from California where I have been engaged in a very exciting new project with top hypnotic dominatrix Mistress Carol. Those interested in erotic hypnosis should visit myhypnoticdomain.com to find out more about Mistress Carols hypnotic powers and take advantage of the free soon to be released first hypnotic recording by Mistress Clarissa.

Mistress Clarissa offers pointers on slave training, humiliation, punishment and pleasure. Follow her on Twitter (@Clarissa_Shares) and her website www.mistressclarissa.co.uk now!

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January 3, 2016
BDSM Lifestyle – Why I Love It

I’ve read some opinions on the internet lately that claim that BDSM and such kinks are “abusive” or “fuel a hatred towards women,” which I honestly don’t understand. Because, for one, that assumes that every BDSM dynamic consists of a male dom and a female sub, which is not true. Secondly, I don’t see how someone’s preferred sexual experience has anything to do with abuse – as long as everything is consensual and both parties are enjoying themselves, as should be the case for all types of sex, there is no problem.

Most of this harmful rhetoric seems to come from “feminists” – more specifically, SWERFs (sex worker exclusive radical feminists) – who think that the entire porn industry is bad, all sex work is exploitative, etc. Those are such terrible generalizations to make, and I personally don’t like when people put down others for their kinks. BDSM, of course, is not for everyone, and that’s fine, but to write it off as “abusive” is offensive to all those who do practice it. BDSM can be abusive, yes, like all other sexual relationships, but it is not inherently so.

I, personally, love sex of the kinkier variety. I love the intensity, the passion, the role play, everything about it. I haven’t had the chance to experiment with it much, seeing as I’ve only had one sexual partner, but it is definitely something I hope to be an aspect in all of my sexual relationships. I’m a complete sub, though according to a BDSM test I’ve taken before I’m 55% switch, and I like my partners to be dominant.

How My Interest In BDSM Developed

I’m honestly not really sure. I think I just…knew. Ever since I was a child, I would play games involving role play (not of the sexual nature – I guess you could say it was more like live action role play), I liked being in the more submissive roles. I liked having things done to me, I liked the sense of not having control. And then around the time when I was discovering my body through masturbation, some time around middle school, that’s just what I leaned towards.

I think, for me, because I’m such a dominant person in my general life – I’m extremely opinionated, stubborn, prefer to be in control, etc. – when someone can dominate me, sexually, it is very appealing. It’s, in a way, sort of a relief to let go and let someone else take control. The psychological aspect of it – especially the communication part – totally gets to and subdues me and it’s an incredible feeling. Not to mention that rough sex tends to feel better and more exciting.

Where I Enjoy Pain

To be honest, I’m not super into the sadism/masochism part of BDSM as I have low pain tolerance. However, I do enjoy simple things like spanking, light choking, hair pulling, biting, and nipple clamping. So I guess my ass, because pain there usually isn’t too bad, and any other part of my body as long as the pain isn’t too intense.

There Is A Lot More To BDSM

Like I mentioned earlier, it’s not for everyone, but you can’t know if you like it or not unless you try it. There are so many aspects to BDSM and so many things for each party involved to enjoy. If you don’t like pain, try some bondage. If you can’t stand being tied up, follow a simple sub/Dom dynamic of obeying or issuing orders. You don’t have to go all out to enjoy BDSM; it can be as simple as saying “yes sir” when your Dom asks you to bend over or receiving a few disciplinary spanks from time to time. It can also be as complex as you want – handcuffs, blindfolds, ball gags, spreader bars, whips, paddles, etc. You can even have your Dom pick out what outfits they want you to wear each day or set rules for you (especially if you’re into the dd/lg dynamic); it can be full role play all the time if you want.

There are so many different directions you can take with BDSM and so many scenarios you can play out. You’re bound (no pun intended) to find something you like. There are also endless amounts of outfits and toys you can find specifically for BDSM and power play. Whether it’s dd/lg, teacher/student, master/slave, cop/criminal, boss/employee, it’ll at least be interesting to try something new, and you might be surprised by what you like.

My Favorite BDSM Play

Unfortunately I haven’t had a chance to delve too deep into BDSM practices, but I’ve gotten a taste of a few different things. My favorite thing is perhaps the most simple – the sub/Dom dynamic. Even without restraints or other fun toys, just having someone control me, be rough with me, call me things like a “slut” or “whore” – words I would otherwise not appreciate – really gets me going. Commands, dirty talk, explaining exactly what they’re doing to me. I also really love to be bound and at the mercy of someone else; it’s amazing to just forfeit control and have increasing suspense as they do whatever they want to you.

Are Orgasms Stronger During BDSM Play?

Hmm, I actually never really paid attention to this. I would assume so, because every other sensation is more intense and I’m often more into it when BDSM is involved.

Safety Precautions During BDSM Play

That was the one mistake of my only sexual relationship – we didn’t have proper precautions and safety measures in place. But I have learned a lot from that experience about what I need to do in the future. The use of a safe word I think is definitely the most important thing, especially when you’re someone, like me, who has a habit of saying “no” during sex when you don’t actually want to stop. Something really silly or weird so that it wouldn’t normally pop up during sex conversation.

Communication is definitely key. You should always have an understanding of your partner’s limits, what they like, what they don’t like, what arouses them, what gets them off, etc. Asking for permission does NOT interrupt the flow of sex; it’s actually really sexy to ask your partner “Do you like this?” as you try new things or push limits. Also I think aftercare is really important in making sure your partner is okay and helping them relax, especially after really intense sessions.

CapriKitty – I am a MFC webcam model, ACE certified personal trainer, and aspiring singer, actress, and model. Social justice advocate, supporter of equality for all, intersectional feminist, and vegan. Sex positive, body positive, and pro nudity. Just a small town girl from the northeast US with dreams so big they make most people uncomfortable. Follow me at:

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December 21, 2015
Being in a 24/7 BDSM Relationship: A Submissive’s Insight

I think the kink lifestyle is a great way to deepen your relationship with your partner(s) or to spice up an already existing relationship. As long as everyone is being safe, sane and consensual it’s completely up to those involved. I personally think they’re great – life is way too short to be vanilla.

How my BDSM journey began

I’ve been in a BDSM relationship since August 2014, so a little bit over a year. My earliest fantasies that I can remember having included things like gangbangs and bondage so I guess I’ve always been a little kinky. I was first introduced to the world of BDSM when a friend of mine went into professional fetish modeling and my exploration of what fetish meant lead me into it, but it wasn’t until I was around my later teens that I wanted to include the Dominant/submissive dynamic into my romantic relationships.

Initial Challenges

Just learning how to stick to the rules and to be honest when I did break the rules. There were a few times I did duck out of being punished by refusing to tell my partner that I’d broken them. I also found that, although I wanted to give up control, it was actually super difficult to do.

What I Enjoy As A Submissive

Me and my partner have an enormous amount of trust in each other and I think a lot of that comes from the fact that we’re a D/s couple. When we play we really have to trust each other and communicate, so it’s helped bring us closer as a couple outside of play as well.

Rules in a BDSM Relationship

I’m the submissive in our relationship. Our rules are pretty varied and focused on both of our needs and well-being rather than the Dominant just listing things the submissive should or shouldn’t do. We have rules where I have to exercise a certain amount of times each week which is a rule I requested to add, and then we have rules where we have to be honest and open with each other so we can tend to any issue that occurs.

Of course we have some ‘traditional’ rules like the fact that I can’t orgasm without permission (unless it’s to do with work!) and that I should always refer to my partner as either Master or Daddy.

A Typical Day In My Life

I’ll usually get up, shower, eat breakfast, get myself all pretty and ready for class, go to class, go on cam for a couple of hours of film/edit videos or photos, and by the time that’s done my partner is around. I’ll usually ask him if there’s anything I can do for him or he’ll already have thought of tasks for me to do. After dinner we’ll usually talk on Skype and play something together or just have a good old chat. If I’m really good then we’ll have some play time and I’ll get to orgasm if I’m really, really good!

Tips for Couples looking to start D/s Relationships

Do some research. Don’t just dive right in. Don’t use a certain movie about a certain number of shades of grey as a reference. Start with something small if you don’t know what kind of dynamic you’re interested in or what role you enjoy most. If you’re both new to BDSM then swapping who is the Dom and who is the sub can be a good idea. Introduce some handcuffs into your normal sex or even some light hand spanking, then once you’re comfortable you can move on to paddle or crop spanking or rope bondage.

Before you know it you’ll have a huge collection of kinky toys! It’s also important to remember that you don’t have to be into giving or receiving pain and I think BDSM is misrepresented in that the pain aspect is a big part of it. Not true – you can tie someone up and tickle them, you can run ice over their body, you can dress up like a puppy and have someone walk you around – it’s not all about pain.

Just remember to be safe, sane and consensual and to communicate with each other. Always have a safe word during play, too. Most importantly… Have fun!

Erryn Embers is a redhead camgirl and porn creator from Scotland who is passionate about creating ethical, authentic and amateur porn. You can find me live on MFC & Streamate where I’ll usually be being my awkward, nerdy, giggly self. When I’m not online I’m usually reading manga and taking care of my guinea pigs.

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December 7, 2015
Sexy Reads – The Whip Master

The time of the annual Festival had arrived and Graye Manor bustled with a frenzy of activity. Its rolling, manicured grounds echoed with the sharp sounds of a whip striking human flesh and shrill cries filled with both pain and pleasure followed, bringing excited smiles and eager anticipation to the faces and hearts of the listeners. The time of the Cirque de Sade Festival had finally arrived and, with it, the final magnificent display of skills, beauty, and selfless service that would end at the auction block. Guests would be arriving from all over the globe to be served, and entertained, by the staff of this unique establishment. The outside world knew nothing about its purpose, or the real history behind the cold stone walls, and Dorian Graye intended it to remain that way. Things happened in the Manor – things that the real world would never embrace…

Pride, Integrity, Loyalty and Love, the acronym of PILL, is a hard one for many to swallow in the eyes in today’s society. In honor of his mentor’s vision for a rich alternative to the old world ideas of domestic service, Graye Manor was founded. Select applicants, known as Graye’s Maids, are trained in the classic skills of a domestic – with one major difference. Each is drawn to the darker side of service and flourishes under the command of a hard palm upon a bare backside- or even, in more hardcore cases, the slash of a whip.

Dorian Graye is a master of the Florentine long- tail whip, and has made an art form of throwing the braided snakes to paint a human canvas. Like his namesake, he plays hard, but he loves even harder- especially when it comes to Annie, a young woman who was tossed onto the streets by a selfish and neglectful family. He and his beloved wife, known as One, help Annie discover an unknown part of her heart- a heart to serve- but her dreams do not include the type of life that they can offer her. Their love for her demands sacrifice- but will it be enough to mend her brokenness, chase away her fears, and make her dreams come true?

The Whip Master is a story about total power exchange, surrender, difficult choices and sacrifices of love. Under the slightly sadistic exterior is a man whose greatest desire is for each of his beloved maids to find happiness. He allows nothing to stand in their way, not even themselves, and is willing to sacrifice anything to grant them their heart’s desire… even if the journey to that desire means suffering as the door to previously unspoken taboos are opened and explored during the decadent Cirque de Sade Festival where anything is possible, and everything is probable.

Excerpt

“Remind me to give you a raise, my dear. You are tiny, but worth well over a hundred times your weight in gold. Actually, you are worth my weight in gold. What are you? Eighty pounds?”

Marilyn hugged him warmly. “I’m not that small. It’s me who owes you. You saved me by giving me a chance to live my dream, and the perfect environment to work in and explore my imagination. Thank you.”

“Oh, come on. Surely there is something you would like as a reward?”

Marilyn blushed and shrugged. “It’s embarrassing, but, well…”

“Out with it. Tell me your desire. I make wishes come true, you know.”

“I would like to try playing one day. Maybe experience a mild version of some of these things I design for. I also want to try… I’ve never had, you know…”

“Marilyn? Are you a virgin?” Dorian asked gently. Her blush and aversion of eye contact answered his question. He hugged her tightly. “Your wish is my command. Do you have anyone in mind with whom you would like to play?”

“I only trust two people for this, but it’s not appropriate, and—”

“Me and One?”

The woman looked at the ground, visibly shrinking. Dorian snatched her hands and kissed her palms. “Your wish is my command. I would be honored to introduce you to this lifestyle. Do you have any particular fantasy?”

“Sort of. I’ve never really thought it out. This is embarrassing.”

“No need for embarrassment, my dear girl. This is what I live for, and you know it. Are you going to tell me your deepest desires, or are you going to have me to surprise you?”

“You would do that? I don’t want to cause any problems with One. I love her.”

“One is very understanding and very giving. I’m certain she would be thrilled to be part of making your fantasy become a reality. How far do you want to go?”

“I don’t know. I guess as far as you can take me.”

Buy and read the rest of The Whip Master on Amazon, Blushing Books, Barnes and Noble

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December 2, 2015
Sexy Reads – Inbound for Pleasure

Kierra Foster lives in constant fear. Anxiety has consumed her for the last four years. She cannot stand to be touched, not even by her loving father. She checks the locks on every door and window at least twice a day. She works, eats and sleeps, with no social life, and she’s tired of living that way.

All that changes on the day that Chandler Thorne steps into the restaurant where she works, and sits at her table. He sees more in her than she sees in herself. He knows just how to peel back the layers of her outer shell, to help her discover who she is, and who she wants to be. He promises her everything, except forever. He’s not cut out to do marriage and family. She will never be more to him than his current project, a new submissive in a long string of submissives. He will dominate her, but he cannot love her.

She wonders if she can accept his terms without breaking her heart. Will she learn enough that when the time comes, she can let him go?

Excerpt

My alarm rings. I open my eyes and rub them a minute as I adjust to the morning light. I throw my legs over the side of the bed and sit there staring at the bathroom door across the hall. I dangle for a few more minutes. God, I really hate mornings. Just as I’m almost confident enough to get up, I hear the unfamiliar sound of a phone ringing. What the hell? I don’t have a phone. I follow the sound to my sweater pocket lying on the counter.

“Hello?” I answer with confusion.

“Miss Foster, I trust you had a goodnight’s sleep,” a husky voice on the other end replies.

I hang up quickly. This is worse than a dream. This is a downright nightmare. The foreign object rings again.

“Is this some sort of sick joke? Who is this?” I snap, trying to find some courage.

“Miss Foster, Chandler Thorne here. I want to see you.” The confidence in his voice is almost petrifying.

“How the…” I can’t think. “Did someone put you up to this?”

“I had assistance, yes.”

“Why? I don’t know you.”

“I like your spark. I will pick you up in an hour.” He hangs up. I struggle with the touch screen trying to find out how to call him back. Finally, I figure it out.

“I’ll be at work in an hour. Have a good day, Mr. Thorne.” I bravely hang up. I hold down the button on the top until it asks me if I want to power down. Yes, I answer the device.

Who the hell does this guy think he is? If most days my fear level is a five, right now it is a ten.

Buy and read the rest of Inbound for Pleasure now at Amazon, Blushing Books and Barnes and Noble

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November 25, 2015
Sexy Reads – His Passionate Pioneer

Anna Martin has never lived her life in accordance with what others might think. Now, hiding behind the trunk of a tree, she’s beginning to truly regret that fact. Listening to her reputation being ripped apart is making her suspect that her Ma’s warnings are most likely coming true. After all, what man would ever consider courting-let alone wedding-a woman who never stops to consider what consequences her actions might have?

Richard Andrews has just returned to Crooked Creek after being gone for three years. The day he’d left, he’d heard Anna screeching that she hated being a girl. He’d also seen her spirit as her Pa had picked her up, turned her across his knee and given her a spanking. Richard has secretly loved Anna for years, and has returned to claim the feisty little copper-haired girl who has grown into a beautiful woman. He loves her spirit and her determination, and knows both will serve her well. Without her by his side, the dream he is working so hard to fulfill would be worthless. He wants the angel he knows she is-as well as the wanton lover he can detect in her flashing eyes. By the time they reached a marriage agreement, she’d know that she was loved and could always count on him to keep her in line-even if that means turning his passionate pioneer over his knee on a regular basis. Now all he has to do is convince her to trust him; convince her to become his wife.

Can Anna push aside her pride and actually turn to another for help? She remembers Mr. Andrews very well from when she was just fifteen years old. She’d been devastated when he’d simply ridden away that day. Why was he back, and what did he mean when he asked her to trust him? All she really knew was that, the moment he took her hand, her heart was lost…

Excerpt

She began her stroll, not admitting to herself that she’d purposefully chosen a path around the wagons in order to avoid James seeing her. Humming, she walked down the road, the sun beating on her back, a cool breeze on her face. As she neared the outskirts of the town, she could see some buildings, and people walking on the wooden sidewalks just a short distance ahead. Her excitement grew and she smiled at a woman who was sweeping the porch in front of a small house on the edge of the town. The woman waved and called out a greeting. Anna returned it, her voice happy and carefree.

Anna didn’t realize how far she had traveled into the town until she felt someone grab her. Screaming, she kicked out with her feet as she was lifted completely off the ground. Her heart pounded and she screamed for Richard at the top of her lungs, straining against the incredibly tight hold. She was hauled around and saw that her husband was the one holding her. Her voice cut off in mid-scream.

“Damn it, Richard, you scared me to death! Hell’s bells, don’t you ever do that again!” She held a palm against her pounding heart and breathed a huge sigh of relief—one that didn’t relax her as she saw his face. She immediately began to struggle again; she had seen him disappointed, she had seen him upset, but never had she seen him so angry.

“Just what in the hell were you thinking, Annabelle Rose!” he thundered. “I told you to stay at the wagon. What are you doing in the middle of town?”

Middle of town? I had only meant to go to the very edge and no further. Annabelle swallowed hard and watched as several men, including Mr. Morgan, stepped out of the storefront to witness what the ruckus was all about. Seeing Richard’s men, she lowered her eyes, her face flaming.

“Answer me young lady,” Richard ordered, still holding her arms tightly.

Anna winced. “I just wanted to see a little. I just meant to walk to the edge. I swear I didn’t mean to come this far. Please don’t be mad at me.” Grabbing for anything that might make the look of fury in his eyes lessen, she continued. “Don’t worry, I did the clothes first—well, mostly.”

Can’t wait to read the rest of His Passionate Pioneer? Buy it Now on Amazon!

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November 4, 2015
What’s your training style to keep your Subs obedient?

Finding new ways to enhance power exchange sessions is another exciting way to keep my subs obedient to me. In order to keep my skills sharp, I take any BDSM class/ apprenticeship where I can learn new crafts of my trade, such as bondage events or BDSM socials. I make sure that sessions don’t becoming stale or routine. Spicing them up with new toys or equipment is necessary in keeping my clients interested. I stick to what a subs needs are but fetish needs change as limits become greater. I will add new play ideas in to amplify the intensity of the energy exchange. For example, over 2 years I have been working with a bondage and CBT slave. During session, I introduced breath play while he was strapped down on a bondage table. His balls were hooked to my electro Stimulation box (ie Rimba machine) as breath play was administered.

Through this technique my sub expressed a feeling of intense rush of pleasure, using low and high settings with my electro machine alone wasn’t enough anymore. But mixed with breath play, it becomes even more pleasurable. That particular CBT sub said that no one has been able to take him as deep into sub space as I have. That’s an amazing feedback to hear from a sub, to know only I can take them there. Subs need to feel they’re understood by their Domme. Communication is needed even if it isn’t positive feedback. Being sensitive and strong is a fine line to walk. It’s important to give your sub the feeling of vulnerability and safety while in sub space. Once a slave finds a Domme who can only take them deep into sub space, an appreciation/bond develops. It can last for many years fulltime or part-time. Establishing a strong bond is necessary in keeping a sub feeling needed. That will make for a long term D/s relationship.

I am a student still, forever learning how to become a better Dominant. Staying open minded when I deal with subs when I dominate. Some of the best extreme play ideas have been sparked from a subs imagination with me in the driver seat. It really is a team effort to have great power exchange sessions. Without the slave, I cannot be the Dominate. I’m always looking for ways to become knowledgeable on how to enhance my slaves sub space experience. I feel that’s the reason my subs choose to be obedient to me while staying loyally obedient. I choose to cater to many kinds of fetishes which keeps me open to many kinds of slaves. Keeping my dome style new and fresh. The fact is, dominants do play into a subs needs in some regards which makes the Dominant work for the sub in a weird way. It’s a strange dichotomy in a D/s relationship. There is a fluctuation in the give and take needs department for both involved. It’s a fine line to balance as the Dominant, and ultimately that’s why there are usually safe words in place.

Obedience doesn’t happen overnight. Stay unique and find your own style of training subs. Develop that bond so you can take them to new heights during a session of pushing limits. Always keep finding new ways to enhance the power exchange roller coaster ride as you see fit. The world is only bad to some extent as perfection that does not exist. There is no one perfect or right way to train a sub. Stay open minded as all subs need to be trained differently and that’s the fun part. Learn about each new sub/slave about what makes them tick, while having your needs met primarily as well. Dominants are here to be a guiding force for their subs. This comes with great responsibility. Subs are longing for a dominant to understand them. Once a dominant can bring order out of the disorder in their mind, they can safely let go in sub space, where it hadn’t existed before. Being a strong and sensitive femdomme is not easy to perfect. I try to keep my heart soft and my grip firm. I do what feels right for each particular subs. Always dominate gracefully with confidence and pride. Be concerned for your subs well being and they will stay obedient.

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October 21, 2015
Reward and Punishment for Subs

Know what is a reward or a punishment for your subs. For example, one subs’ reward of spanking can be another’s punishment. Don’t confuse your slave. Give the sub commands that will draw out the response you desire during session. If a slave of mine is handling more extreme play, I’ll give him more and this is what leads to amazing power play sessions and winning the loyalty of your slave. Making them obedient to your Domme style. During the training of my slaves/subs I myself am also learning how to keep them contented and obedient.

No matter what type of subs I’m training, I use a rewards and punishments system in order to modify a client’s behavior. It is necessary to know when to use the reward or punishment to get the desired response you want from your sub. If they mess up, it’s ok that they get punished and learn not to make that particular mistake again. Rewards come with good behavior such as a surprise gift I didn’t ask for. Knowing what is considered a reward or punishment for each individual is important in keeping them in line. One subs spanking enjoyment can be looked at as another’s punishment. Remember, mistakes are okay to be made on either party. Just learn from the in real life.

Domination training is a lot more like real life interactions than most people think. The only way a sub can learn how you want them to obey is for them to mess up, just as they would in their day to day life. I think people enjoy learning the hard way most of the time. If anything is too easily gotten, they don’t want it. My subs will mess up on purpose because they enjoy my “badcop” side. My subs are such masochists, and as pain becomes pleasure, they enjoy messing up and getting punished. As I get to know a sub’s psyche, I have a better understanding of how to train them. The more control is exerted over a sub, the more naturally they will resist. Thus, rewards and punishments are a must have component during short or long term obedience training. I enjoy a sub who likes to challenge me, and not always listening. A subs disorderly conduct makes it makes it more fun for me to dominate them.

My play is varied so I don’t get bored and neither does the sub. I don’t like being pigeonholed as one kind of Domme who only specializes in a couple of types of fetish play. Whatever term you use to describe me as a Dominant female, I always try to be unique and creative, in the way that I dominate. The sub becomes eager to submit to my control, addicted to fact that only I know how to control them. Putting them in what I like to call a custom “roller coaster sub space” ride. The power I have over them is what keeps them obedient to me. Always eager to get strapped into their roller coaster sub space ride”. All Dommes must try and get into the mind-set of their slave before going out to speak. Starting out at a slower pace in the beginning builds a stronger D/s connection or bond in the long run. Some clients like heavy handed extreme BDSM plays off the bat. It can be more exciting to have less limits but that comes with time. Ultimately, it really depends on how the sub is receiving my flow of energy that I’m shelling out. I feed off the subs energy and read their reactions like a doctor to see if they’re receiving it pleasurably or painfully. It’s important to know your sub well.

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October 14, 2015
How to be a good Master to your Slave

On an initial session, subs are a ball of nerves, scared, excited and to be aroused. Know your slave well before you start to go extreme on a client. A bad first session with a client can sour them from wanting to become your forever slave. Many new subs have expressed to me, that they didn’t rebook with a certain dominatrix because they were turned off initially in some way. The approach was too extreme for the level of trust established.

Developing a bond with your slave is the most important before you can dive deeper into pushing limits. A dominant doesn’t have to use heavy handed “scary” domination antics to make a slave obedient. Naturally exploring more limits will enhance the D/s bond, in turn making the obedience of your submissive stronger. They really just want a dominant who listens, while diving into their psyche of what he/she needs. Some clients have suppressed their fetish needs too long. When a sub finds a dominant who listens and understands them, they will willingly submit. It’s very special when both find each other and their play enjoyments match up. You can win the admiration from your sub by taking the time to mentally stimulate them before going extreme physically.

Becoming a great Master, knowing your subject so well, like an instrument. Being in tune with it at all times during play. I prefer training slaves that need their fetish itch fixed regularly. Sessioning frequently over time makes power exchange sessions better. Limits can be pushed more in the D/s relationship as the bond becomes stronger. I now know my Subs’s well and I am able to read how they are feeling without using any words. Watching how the body reacts when I perform a certain act or command depends on how u dive deep into their needs. Their deep rooted fetish needs become apparent the more time is invested in training them. Long term D/s relationships are extra rewarding than just sessioning once. My slaves are able to bring new ideas for play to the table but I make the final decision if it’s a go or not. I encourage suggestions. Obedience is all relative. If the sub resists submitting to me in a training situation, I get frustrated. That just leads me to push limits to breaking that sub. The more resistance, the more control I exert and it can be tedious work to train a sub into obedience. It takes time and patience on both sides for the D/s relationship to keep going. Subs must be sure not to be fickle on how they want to be dominated or it can be pointless to work with them if they won’t fully submit.

For example, I had this one financial slave say he wanted me to control all of his finances. Though every time we set up a meeting, he would cancel or not show up. Then months later, he contacted me again saying he got scared to give up full financial control to me. A serious sub will not hesitate to meet with the Dominant. They will accomplish any task the dominant shells out to the best of their ability. Certain fantasies that people hold just don’t always cross over into reality like they thought it would. A dominatrix is not a miracle worker. Unless full submittal happens on the subs, part training will go nowhere as Subs must know what they want out of a session prior to contacting me. I request to know every aspect of their daily life before training starts. Ultimately, that’s is how I determine my approach for training for that client. For example, if an alpha switch comes to me for a session, I have to be even more stern during training. Many alpha switches are drawn to me as a dominant. Alphas need a break from not being in charge but old habits die hard. They become stuck hard to break off their naturally demanding ways. That’s when I get heavy handed. Still, some are unable to fully enjoy or get into sub space mentally and physically. I have to discharge them. Switches are the most challenging types of clients but exciting to train.

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October 7, 2015
An Introduction to Slave Training

I’m Mistress Raquel, a Pro Fem Domme based in Las Vegas and I’m here to explain how I keep my slaves obedient. I had to think what perspective I was going to write this article from. Because I’m a session Domme, I do not have a full time live-in slave. Plus not every client considers themselves to be a “Slave”. Most actually consider themselves to be a submissive aka “sub” or just a client. I have considered getting a typical live in slave but none worked out to my liking. When I first started out as a Dominatrix, I had a boyfriend that kinda turned into a sissy slave/cuck but that’s a topic for a whole other article. My subs see me short term to long term. Many of my subs or clients don’t like being referred to as “slave”. Many of my subs become dedicated to serving me over time in many ways.

D/s relationships are all different but no matter how it goes both, are in a way slaves to each other. One can’t operate without the other and it’s a UNION. The term “slave” isn’t my favorite term for a client unless its insisted initially by them. Furthermore, I would like to address the term “slave” which by definition means a person who is the legal property of another and is forced to obey them and or works excessively hard. I don’t feel I own anyone as property as my clients are willingly submitting to me. Although I have called upon foot clientele to be personal foot massagers at my beck and call. I have financial pigs and they can be considered slaves. Other pets love to send me gifts and not all clients get my time trough typical tributes. Still any sub of mine can end the contact if they want. That’s why I don’t refer to my clients as slaves unless they insist, I don’t own anyone’s freewill or the ability to say no to a request. Any one of my subs can leave the D/s relationship anytime. I treasure and respect my subs in that way. I work with an open mind, not getting caught up in terms and labels, and just enjoy the moments I dominate.

In the fetish world some would say I’m not a lifestyle Mistress. In my opinion, a Domme does not have to have a full time “live in slave” to operate. My work is a 24/7 lifestyle though I do not have a “live in slave”. Many of my local clients have busy separate lives, some are married or in relationships. It can be difficult to keep control and monitor a typical “slave” 24/7 so to speak. I monitor my subs on a daily, weekly, monthly and yearly basis. I train them in person, over the phone sessions or on cam. This helps me train my long distance submissives. I bring them closer to me by making the scene or fantasy more real for them on cam platforms. They are great aid for full on sessions, visually checking your sub at any given time and over long distances ie. Chastity, Cross-dressing and smoking fetishes etc. Phone sessions are great for quick and is a fun way to take control. Sending tasks or requests through text or conversations, and checking on the sub. Letting them know you care and still own them is the key to keeping any sub obedient and making them feel needed.

I always maintain some sort of contact with all my Submissives. Subs have to feel needed and it’s a beneficial part of their obedience training. Submissives can feel lost without a dominating directive or ownership. For example, the last sissy maid I considered taking on as a fulltime live in slave had been abandoned by his Fem Domme abruptly after years of service. From what I observed, he was like a lost puppy. He didn’t know what to do without the daily training stimulation, constraints, order, tasks, duties from his Mistress. Unfortunate our personalities and play styles did not match up for a typical live-in slave contract. I assigned tasks and duties as needed in order to keep me happy as well as my subs. The power exchange needs have to align up. It’s important that both parties need to interact harmoniously for a D/s Relationship to work out in the long run. The slave must be willing to willingly submit and adhere to my needs such as following directives, making tributes, gifts, running errands, cleaning etc. When a sub resists completely, he/she is either trying to get punished or making the Dominate feel unwanted. A slaves’ happiness should be achieved through making their Domme feel content and happy first as much as possible. That determines the truly obedient slaves from the ones who are not in for the long road. It’s a give and take from each party as I mentioned before.

Another key element to making your slave obedient, whether it’s a live-in or not is to be unique in your Domme style. Offer the type of session that no one else can give them. Don’t do what all the other Dommes are doing. Find your strength and voice as a Domme. Decide what your best attributes are, highlight them during your sessions. Mine are my personality, height and creative unpredictability. Be confident on how to give your slave the ultimate sub experience and they will be hooked on your training. I coin myself as the Amazon-Fun-Domme. I love comedy, laughing in life as a good stress reliever. It’s ok to laugh in a session to make it comical on purpose or by accident. Obedience training doesn’t have to always be so seriously scary or stringent. For example, one time during a corporal spanking, I broke a cane stick over my subs butt. The scene was halted by uncontrollable laughter on my part and my sub as it was hysterical.

The point is, not everything is going to be an exact science or path to training a slave. Just be different and have fun ways to show your dominance, while being as safe as possible. Pushing the slaves’ limits is important in making the sub space exciting, like being strapped into a roller coaster. No one session with me is the same, which is important in my obedience training. I keep my subs on their toes while serving me and no slave wants to be able to predict a Dommes’ next move during training. Their job is to let go and trust the Domme to guide them into the sub space roller coaster ride. My slaves never know what to exactly expect. They never know what comes next during play, only a loose idea discussed prior to play. Knowing when to use the element of surprise is important in creating an amazing session with your slave. You never want them to expect what you have in store for them next.

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September 30, 2015