I am a virgin but my partner is definitely more experienced than me. Is there anything I can do to not make things weird or awkward on the first time?
My short answer to your question is, communicate! I would encourage both of you to have a conversation before you guys decide to have sex for the first time as a couple and for you the first time ever. I don’t mean have a conversation as your clothes are coming off but rather a few days or even weeks before you anticipate the big moment happening.
You guys don’t have to come up with a play by play (unless you want to of course) but instead talk about some things you can prepare for; like deciding where your first time is going to be (maybe the bed, maybe the shower, who knows!) or whether or not you guys will be using condoms*. These decisions that can be made and talked about ahead of time and can make the anticipation leading up to the first time more enjoyable and less stressful for you.
If having a conversation before the sexy-time doesn’t feel like preparation enough you could also have some sexy-time by yourself (if you don’t already do that). Masturbating can help you figure out what feels good for you to be able to guide your partner when you guys are working up to having sex for the first time.
*I’m assuming you will be engaging in penetrative sex with a male partner; my sincerest apologies if I have assumed wrong.
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Nicole is currently in school obtaining her Masters of Social Work (MSW) from Smith College with a focus on LGBTQ issues and couples/marriage therapy. Nicole hopes to become a certified sex therapist to continue educating clients and helping people advocate for and embrace their sexuality. Read the rest of her profile below and the links to follow her!
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