Tag: Sexual Satisfaction

Foreplay | A Lethal Weapon For Pleasurable Experience

What Is Foreplay?

Foreplay is the engagement of your partner in oral stimulation, touching, massage and other forms of interaction that precede sexual intercourse. For women, foreplay is what gets them in the mood and also allows them to achieve the fullest orgasmic response. In these ways, foreplay is a truly lethal weapon for pleasurable intercourse.

Why Foreplay Is A Lethal Weapon?

Because women don’t usually achieve orgasm during sex, foreplay can be a device for many things, including sexual manipulation. This doesn’t have to be a negative thing because using foreplay to arouse and stimulate your partner has many positive effects. Keep this in mind, as foreplay is discussed further in this article.

How To Perform Foreplay?

Think of foreplay in terms of sensual arousal and stimulation. Massage and touching are very important tools in the foreplay arsenal. Learn to get her ready for sex by building up to it slowly. After spending some serious time establishing tactile intimacy, go ahead and engage her in oral sex. If possible, don’t ask her to reciprocate. This is a huge turn on for many women, but should at least surprise her.

Whatever you do, make the foreplay all about her needs and not yours. This makes it an especially lethal weapon, sexually speaking. The goal is to give her a full orgasm before engaging in any kind of sexual activity. This is what makes the most lethal weapon of all, as a man giving her pleasure.

How Foreplay Helps?

Foreplay helps get women in the mood and enjoy sex in the following ways. These are the primary ways, but not the only ones. Once a man knows his woman’s favourite foreplay recipe, there are many others to unlock, but this list is a good start for beginners.

1) Foreplay Helps to Initiate & Stimulate Her

In general, foreplay helps get a woman’s motor running. She thinks of sex in terms of physical intimacy and interactive stimulation. You need to engage her in these ways if she is going to truly enjoy any type of sexual intercourse or other activities. Even going through the motions helps, but try to be sincere when in the midst of foreplay. Most women can tell the difference.

2) Foreplay Ensures Pleasurable Intercourse for Her

A woman needs to be wet inside and warmed up, so that sexual intercourse is comfortable for her body. If she doesn’t feel this way, all the sex drive in the world won’t keep her in the mood. She will become physically tired, dry inside and limited in her patience. Foreplay is the best way to ensure that her body is ready to have intercourse, especially if you are a male who has stamina. If you engage her well in your foreplay, she will probably let you go for much longer.

3) Foreplay Helps Alleviating Her Stress

Women release stress by feeling good about themselves and their bodies. Just engaging in foreplay is a great stress reliever for any woman, especially if it is done correctly. Once you get to know your partner, her body will become like a lock with a specific combination. Therefore, it is possible to learn how to give her great pleasure and release stress, just by having some foreplay before each sexual session together. Remember, a relaxed woman will stay in bed longer and be willing to do whatever feels good. That’s how to have really good sex.

4) Foreplay Raises Chances of Making Her Orgasm

The easiest way to make most women cum is during oral sex and hot foreplay. As stated above, once a man knows his partner and her body well, making her relax becomes easy. Once you know what gets a woman relaxed, making her orgasm is usually simple. Find her timing, rhythm and listen to what sounds she is making. These are all you need to tune into to make her orgasm again and again. Do this regularly and she will be entranced with having you do it again.

So Use This Lethal Weapon To Hit The Target!!!

If you want to keep a woman happy in bed, then learn to use foreplay to your advantage. There is no more powerful weapon that you can have in your sexual arsenal. Getting your partner aroused means becoming an expert in foreplay. So get to work men and use your most lethal weapon in the bedroom.

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July 7, 2014
Sensate Body Focus- Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life
...we have found each other / thirsty and we have drunk up /
all the water and the blood / we found each other hungry…
– Pablo Neruda

Sensate Body Focus was developed by pioneering sex researchers, Dr William Masters and Virginia Johnson and was originally designed to help lovers overcome challenges such as performance anxiety, lack of desire, erectile dysfunction, rapid ejaculation and lack of orgasm. Challenges aside, Sensate Focus is now used as a powerful practice that encourages a deeper connection and intimacy between lovers.

Sensate Focus exercises encourage lovers to slow down and pay attention to the sensations felt when stimulated. Sounds easy, right? The reality is, most of us lead busy lives and are often too caught up in reaching orgasm (aka ‘The Quickie’) instead of slowing down and paying attention to the subtle touches and sensations we feel when being intimate and present with our lovers. Sensate Focus is about exploring new patterns of pleasuring that do not always have to be sexual. The focused exercises take out the pressure to respond to your lover and instead encourage lovers to relax and receive, removing the experience of goal-oriented sex.

When pursuing Sensate Focus exercises, set aside at least 30 minutes with your lover. Begin by establishing ground rules, which might include the following:
- Determine who will be the first giver (partners take turns being the giver and receiver). Establish whether you or your partner wants to be clothed or naked.
- Choose a location where you will both feel comfortable and relaxed. If you wish, use oils (organic coconut oil is a favourite), lubricants or natural lotions.
- Communicate to the giver what feels good, and what does not. Communication is achieved by guiding the hand of the giver. Limit talking until after the exercise is complete.
Session #1
Limit stroking and touching to areas of the body that are not sexually stimulating. For example, begin by focusing your touch on your lover’s face or hands. Spend 10 minutes ‘giving’ to your partner. Now, allow your lover to do the same to you, fully focusing on the sensations of being touched by your lover and your reactions to it. Try to be as quiet as possible, so you don’t take away your awareness of physical sensations.

Session #2
Touch, stroke and explore the sensual responses of the entire body, including the breasts and genitals, without any intent to bring about lubrication and/or erection. Start by touching other parts of your lover’s body, emphasising on physical sensations, before gradually working your way to the genitals. Set boundaries as the receiver. Communicate to your lover where they can and cannot touch. Be specific.

Session #3
This stage is all about mutual touching, making the interaction more natural in the touch exchange. Simultaneous touch also allows partners to focus more on each other’s body instead of paying attention to one’s own response. Couples should communicate what they enjoy and want sexually, without getting caught up in the goal of achieving orgasm.

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June 30, 2014
Making Love vs Shagging

Matt-at-Lotus on a common dilemma we didn’t know we had

Once upon a time in a gay sauna somewhere on the outskirts of the Midlands, sex was taking place or rather something mysterious happened between myself and a stranger who to this day, I have no idea what his name is. I do know that he is from Leeds. If you are a guy reading this, you may well be giggling to yourself because you know that it isn’t that unusual to have anonymous (the clue is in the name) sex with someone and never even get to the exchanging of names, let alone numbers. Who cares? Well, about what a person is (name, job, etc) I don’t give a damn. About who they are—I’m in.

So allow me to paint you a pretty picture of this meeting of sweaty souls: I see the guy standing against the wall in the dark corridor of the sauna. He was, of course, wearing only a towel. I am pretty forward and impatient by nature so I simply nodded to him to follow me into the ‘rest room’ (the clue is not in the name) and we locked the door behind us. Then something amazing happened.

I lay on top of him. There was no penetration except for tongues in mouths. Our breath was laboured, bodies sweaty and spines on fire. We rhythmically moved in unison. No speaking, climax, sudden climax in unison and then, then—it happened: we both burst into tears.

I’m gonna give you a minute to process that …

Want to know what happened there? We made love. Simple. As. That.

No need for penetration. No props required. Just two guys (or souls, if you are that way inclined) sharing their nakedness on every level. We did not need to speak about the tears, we just lay there holding each other quite happily until we didn’t need to hold on anymore. Then we exchanged pleasantries (which is probably when I discovered he was from Leeds) and went our separate ways. I wasn’t left with the urge to marry him, stalk him or bum him.

I was left feeling content and, wait for it: completely sexually satisfied.

So, dear reader: making love or shagging?

That is entirely up to you.

Until next time …

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June 22, 2014
Top 5 Tips for Having Sex with A Transsexual
Adult Star Venus Lux shares her tips for having sex with a transsexual on SimplySxy!

As you all know, the world is always changing especially when it comes to sexuality. Sex has no color, age, race, or any prejudice. With so much accessibility to pornography via the internet, people are now more willing to explore untouched territory especially when it comes to sex with transgender women. Sex should never be hard but sometimes when it comes to something unknown, useful information from a professional can put you on the right track! These are my top 5 tips to approaching sex with a transgender woman.

1. Low expectations

Don’t get me wrong, having expectations are awesome! But to really have a good experience, it’s always best to know what you like but don’t expect your life fantasy to be all fulfilled in one instance. This is applicable both in life and in sex.

2. Research

Please do your homework and don’t hesitate to watch transsexual porn, so that you can get a better sense of what you like and what you may not. Along with understanding some of the sexual terminology such as (Greek, rimming, cuckold, missionary, creampie, top, bottom, etc). And if you are planning to be a bottom, understanding how to properly cleanse yourself for penetration is highly advised!

3. The meeting

Just like anyone else, always approach a transsexual with respect and common courtesy following the usage of proper address. You would hate to ruin the mood by calling a transsexual a man, gay, or a shemale. Like my friends say, “if the person is wearing a dress, address the person as a female”. Also, just because a transsexual may or may not have a penis, make sure you are sexually mutual beforehand. (Don’t hope to bottom if the girl isn’t into it)

4. Sexual courtesy

As a guy, maybe you don’t want to get a finger up your butt or get choked during sex. Of course, everyone should address their comforts and limits beginning and during sex. But if you plan to take on more of the power role in bed, always consider your partner’s needs if you want to continue the momentum. Below are some key tips about transsexuals:
- ask if you can touch their hair (Keep in mind of extensions)
- ask if you can touch their face (Some girls take pride in their makeup)
- ask if you can touch or suck their cock (Some girls like it, some don’t)
These are just a few side notes to think about.

5. The moment

I’m sure at this point, your cock is already throbbing. No worries! This is the time to enjoy yourself and to lose yourself in “the moment”. Be playful and try some new things. Be warned after the first time, you are just going to want more and better!

P.S. A transsexual can’t get pregnant but always play and think safe! Safe sex can still always be fun. For me, Trojan bareskin condoms and kiwi strawberry WET lube always does wonders!

Venus Lux has become one of the top transsexual performers in the industry in the brief two years she has been in the adult industry. Since joining the industry in 2012, Venus has established herself as an experimental and dynamic performer, shining in an array of noteworthy scenes with men, women and transsexuals. The busty bombshell has attained numerous nominations and awards including a nomination for Transsexual Performer of the Year in the 2013 and 2014 AVN Awards. Venus currently holds the 2014 XBiz Award for Transsexual Performer of the Year and was named XCritic’s “Must-See Girl of the Month” in March 2014. At the 2014 Tranny Awards, the multi-talented star took home three awards for Best Scene, Best Solo Website and Hardcore Performer of the Year. The Asian Goddess has also shown that she is a skilled businesswoman with the launch of her member’s website Venus-Lux.com, which stars some of the hottest adult starlets and is one of the few independently run websites for transsexuals. Venus writes a popular column for AIPDaily called “Venus Rising” where she shares her opinions and news in the adult industry. With multiple awards and several mainstream projects under her belt, it’s clear that this alluring performer isn’t going anywhere and it won’t be long before Venus Lux is a household name.

http://www.starfactorypr.com/venus-lux-bio.html
http://wwww.starfactorypr.com/venus-lux
http://www.Venus-Lux.com
http://twitter.com/VenusLux
http://instagram.com/VenusLux

Images courtesy of Venus Lux
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June 21, 2014
5 Ways To Pleasure A Woman

XXX Adult Star Derrick Pierce shares on SimplySxy, his secrets on how to pleasure a woman. Read on!

Before we even head down this road please understand that you are fighting an uphill battle. It can be won, it will just take some doing on your part. Don’t be afraid of a little hard work. Trust me, she will appreciate it.

1. It’s called communication

This should happen WAY before any actual physical activities. Want to get her going before she hits the bed? Start that little text conversation. Make small sexual advances throughout the day. Nothing too over the top, unless you have already established these parameters. It can be more suggestive than anything else. The real trick is to get her to text you nasty things of her own accord. You can do this by making a small suggestion such as “I love the way you taste on my lips”. If you make it about her, she will usually be into it. Once she takes the bait, don’t reel her in. Let her run with it for a bit. If she responds in the affirmative, then ask her what she likes about it. Keep it about her as much as possible.

2. Ready for action

Be clean! Pretty simple and straight forward. clean doesn’t only mean a shower. It means having a shave if needs be. Trim your nose hairs and pubic hair too! No need to shave it off, unless you are into that, but trim it back. Ladies don’t want a mouth full of hair in their mouth if they feel like trying to swallow you up. Most men don’t like the amazon rainforest in between the pillars of heaven either. Show some initiative and get your lawn in order.

3. Ready … set … slow down

Once you are prepped for battle—that is well groomed—there is no real need to rush into the thick of things, unless it is supposed to be a quickie. Even then, you can take a minute to survey your surroundings. Don’t rush to get her naked. Clothes can be fun. Pull a few things to the side. Leave on her shoes, unless they are Uggs or flip flops … those things have got to go!

4. The Bermuda Triangle

Most men think women are an upside down triangle with the nipples being two points of contact and the vagina being the final resting place of the third. Wrong! We have fingers, hands, arms, toes, feet, legs … you get the picture. While those three points end up being a “final resting place” as the action goes on, it does not mean that all other areas are off limits. Grab her from behind, talk to her, tell her what she is in store for. Speak slowly and close to her so she can hear you. Use your hands to touch her whole body. Kiss and nibble on places that you normally would pass up. When you are going to go down on her, lick and touch everything except the clitoris. Save that for last. Keep licking her around and around slowly, ask her what she wants. I can near guarantee that she will all but beg you to lick her whole pussy. After that, you would have to work really hard to go wrong.

5. Keep her coming back

Don’t think because you busted a load in a rubber body bag or you made finger paint art on her stomach, that you are now done. Make sure that she has a big ass smile before you call it quits. If you can, chill out with her for a few moments. Pillow talk and some cup caking goes a long way. If you can’t, hit her with a message that is kind of sweet after you have left. It lets her know that even if it was a “hit it and roll out” you did think about her in the aftermath. That will give you an open invitation to have those lines of communication at a later time.

Prior to joining the ranks of the porn elite, XXX hunk Derrick Pierce was a certified personal trainer and martial arts instructor. The “Bad Boy of Adult” has coached and cornered some of the most acclaimed professional MMA athletes from both WEC and UFC. Derrick has performed in a multitude of roles ranging from hardcore BDSM to feature adult films. The handsome stud has worked with every established adult production company and plays the convincing villain in Axel Braun’s comic book parody films such as Wolverine XXX, The Dark Knight XXX and Captain America XXX. Derrick was awarded Best Actor in a Couples Themed Release for his directorial feature movie release with Wicked Pictures’ Tuff Love, a film centered around his passion for MMA. Derrick also received nominations for Director of the Year, Male Performer of the Year, Best Actor and Best Supporting Actor in the 2014 XBiz Awards and Best Supporting Actor in the 2014 AVN Awards. Derrick recently launched the first mobile crossfit affiliate, Crossfit Drop and already has his hands in several production ventures. Derrick has launched his first member’s website BangingPornstars.com, which follows Derrick’s adventures in bedding some of the hottest starlets in adult. The Herculean performer has proven his talent behind the camera. With his own production company, Primal Productions, and directorial releases including Hustler’s 40th anniversary Hard And Fast, he now looks to make a name for himself as the next XXX producer to watch.

http://starfactorypr.com/derrick-pierce
http://starfactorypr.com/derrick-pierce-bio.html
www.Twitter.com/DPierceXXX
www.Instagram.com/DerrickPierce
http://BangingPornstars.com
http://CrossfitDrop.com
http://twitter.com/CrossfitDrop
http://instagram.com/CrossfitDrop

Images courtesy of Derrick Pierce
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June 19, 2014
Sex Under the Influence of Jack Daniels Vs. Sex Under the Influence of Mary Jane

First off, this article was written for the sole purpose of scientific inquiry. We understand that cannabis use has not yet made that leap towards international legalization, and while that’s a shame, we discourage use of illicit substances. Having said that, let’s move forward to the heart and soul of the article. I have my own share of experiences having sex after a night of heavy drinking and a few nights making love under the influence of cannabis. Sex alone, no matter how lousy, is a magical experience. How wonderful can it get if I was to add a substance to enhance the experience?

Complex Intellectual Functioning

In my experience of smoking pot and in my experience of drinking alcohol near my level of tolerance, I noticed that higher levels of brain functioning was no longer available. In both experiences, I could not think straight, I wasn’t very rational, and I lost the ability to think ahead. Nonetheless, who needs rational thinking when you’re about to have sex?

Anxiety

Personally, I experience a bit of a performance anxiety when having sex with someone for the first time. At the back of my head, I know my performance today might affect my chances with other girls in the future because girls talk a lot, and they talk about everything. Alcohol made sure those nasty thoughts in my head were gone. Likewise, anxious thoughts had no space in my cannabinoid-surging brain. In both experiences, my tendency to be anxious was addressed.

Extended Plateau Phase

One magical thing I noticed under the influence of either alcohol or marijuana was the extended plateau phase. I was less excited by visual cues such as a woman’s full breasts, curvy body, toned midsection, and flawless skin among others when tipsy. I was able to last longer and enjoy the experience rather than thinking of disgusting things just to hold it a little longer. The same was true when I smoked weed prior to sex; I was living in the moment. Thinking of nothing else and fully taking in every stimulus presented by each moment led to a fascinating experience. Under the influence of marijuana, paradoxically, I felt like I was letting go and letting the experience come yet I felt like I was in complete control. Being in this state of mind gave me the pleasure of extending the plateau phase for as long as I wanted.

Motivation

The motivation behind wanting to have sex under the influence of alcohol was different from my motivation when I smoked pot. After consuming a few beers or a few shots and I was with someone, my desire to take her clothes off and do unspeakable things would usually consume me. With my heightened libido, I could not wait until my woman and I were behind closed doors and closed lights so that I could get the bed rocking and creaking. In retrospect, I was motivated to have sex to satisfy my need for pleasure and release. On the other hand, the motivation to be with someone under the influence of cannabis was to be able to touch and feel a woman’s body. I wasn’t burning with desire; however, my skin wanted to feel the skin of the woman I’m with. I found intense pleasure in pressing my body against my lover’s body. As opposed to using a woman’s body to gratify my sexual desires, my main motivation under the influence of weed was to enjoy and share my body with my lover. There’s a huge difference in terms of experience when I was out to get something versus when I was out to share something.

Sensual Acuity

Under the influence of alcohol, I noticed I was less sensitive as if my entire body was covered by a huge condom. I was still able to enjoy a woman’s soft and delicate body, and I could still feel her warm and lubricating lady parts but it was not as intense as compared to when I’m sober. The loss of sensitivity can also be a factor in extending the plateau phase of the encounter. On the contrary, a sexual experience enhanced by marijuana can be strong, passionate, and intense. It’s as if every part of my body was coming to life. I was extra sensitive, but I wasn’t too excited. My attention was not confined to my manhood; I was aware of every sensation from my hair down to my toes. Words fail to completely describe the beautiful experience.

Partner in Crime

Having sex sober can also be a mind-blowing experience. However, if my partner was a little tipsy or has elected to take a hit or two, the tryst can drastically change for the better. After sharing a few drinks with my woman, the approach to sex took a different form. Instead of the usual slow and calculated movements along with an incredible amount of gentle foreplay, tipsy sex can be rough, beastly, and desecrating. Both of us couldn’t wait to tear each other’s clothes apart. Once the clothes were on the floor, every action was directed by impulse. Hickies and scratches were unavoidable because of the irresistible urge to follow basic instincts. On the other hand, having sex when my partner and I smoked pot was the epitome of lovemaking. The need to have our bodies close and pressed against each other was insatiable. I couldn’t get enough of kissing her, and she couldn’t get enough kissing me. I wanted to lick and suck every inch of her skin, and she wanted to do the same to me. It may sound like spiritual mumbo-jumbo but once I was inside of her, I experienced the hallucinogenic property of marijuana. It felt like I was making love to every woman and all women in the world at the same time. The encounter was transcendental as I was able to go beyond my body, and her body acted as a conduit to a greater experience. I have no idea if she felt the same. I hope she did.

Like I said before, sex alone is a magical experience. Add a substance and the experience can go to another level or take a different form. Sex under the influence of alcohol is amazing and the wonderful thing about it is that consumption of alcohol is legal everywhere. I can’t say the same thing about weed because only a few states have allowed its recreational use. If you are lucky enough to be living in this state, what’s stopping you from taking advantage of its effects?

SimplySxy does not advocate the use of any form of drugs and illicit substances.

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June 17, 2014
Oohhhh … Tantric Sexual Massages

[vimeo url=”https://vimeo.com/95166258″ autoplay=”no”]

It frustrates me that when it comes to carnal desire. I so often hear people charge men of only being interested in one thing, Sex! But this is so not true. Yes men do love to have penetrative sex; its primal; its immensely satisfying when good and ultimately, it can secure our genetic line and because of this it is clearly what biologically we as men are programmed to enjoy as often as possible and with as many (females) as possible. However, what many don’t appreciate—and I include many men in this—is that most men also enjoy and actually need the physical intimate touch that come with the sex as much as the sex itself. In fact, many men find it difficult to perform as confidently as they want to if they do not feel an intimate connection with their partner, be it a female or male.

There is no doubt in my mind that the adage “women have a higher threshold of pain than men” is correct, childbirth makes this necessary but I would go on to say that it appears to me that men have a “lower threshold of pleasure than women”. I have to date, given over 5,000 sensual massages to men and some 200 to women and I can confidently say that from my experience in the arousal states, male bodies generally react and get aroused faster to touch than female bodies.

With the male body I find that it is usually after only 5 to 10 minutes into the massage and often see the clear evidence of arousal. Gentle moans or movements of the body and of course a developing erection is a clear sign and as the massage unfolds, the man will become even more aroused and reactive. These bodily reactions to my touch are immediate when I stroke his back, scratch my nails on his bum or inner thighs or even simply massage his scalp, all of this will make him spontaneously respond with pleasurable sounds or movement. But I believe that there is far more to this than just sexual arousal.

It is clear to me that as the massage unfolds and as my touch stimulates the skin’s sensory nerve endings, triggering the Pituitary gland to release Oxytocin, the hormone cutely called by some, “the love hormone”, the man experiences arousal and erection is usually the result. What I have also noticed is that arousal takes place and so manifests his need to create and intimate connection with me. This may simply be a hand touching my thigh, arm or body or somewhere even more intimate. So I figure that similar in relevance to nature programming pain thresholds to be higher for women to be able to endure childbirth, that this need and desire in men for intimate (reciprocal) touch has also been programmed into the male physiology and psychology for a similar reason. No, his hand reaching out to touch me should not be viewed simply as a predatory sexual approach but more of a genuine desire for connection and to receive approval and acceptance from another.

Most men know that to become completely and fully aroused, most need to feel connected, entitled and wanted of by the other person, be it female or male. Having his own touch welcomed and acknowledged and then reciprocated, particularly when received and given to sensitive and genital areas (the scrotum, perineum, anus) a man unconsciously feels he can trust and feel safe and it is this feeling of safety that triggers his nervous system slide from the fight or flight mode to the rest and relax mode thus removing anxiety, allowing total relaxation of the muscles and mood and consequently give him maximum arousal.

My experience when giving male-to-male massage is that it is this dynamic of intimate connection between men that is as pleasurable as the arousal and eventual orgasm itself. Conversely, when I give sensual massage to female clients after an initial quiet period, I find many women explode into an almost sexual abandonment where they let go completely of themselves to the erotic nature of the massage. For example, in the male to male massage, the effect of cupping and gently stroking his balls and scrotum produces in the receiver not an erotic response but more of a bonding, caring and almost paternal emotion. Tritely, I often say that to test my theory about what men really want, I should stand in Trafalgar Square with a sign offering all the men there two options a) the option of having either a 5 minute fuck or b) to enjoy a 90 minute full body sensual massage that would of course, include and orgasm by hand but not include any penetrative sex. I truly believe that the majority of men, certainly those over the age of 25, would opt for option b!

Demure Debutante to Erotic: The Female Time Bomb

[vimeo url=”https://vimeo.com/94660900″ autoplay=”no”]

When I give a sensual massage to a female client, the dynamic of the massage is quite different. Initially, the response to my touch is much slower and more sedated, there is very little display of movement or sound. In fact, the female who does immediately display any response is the exception. However, it is after about 30 minutes that I begin to see quite quickly, the effects of my touch and maybe some movement and moans. But when I start the more erotic touch genital stimulation that is when I see and feel what I call the female “Flip” as the demure deb explodes into the erotic animal. Light sighs become groans of pleasure, gentle movements becomes trashing and straining of limbs and the gentle response to my intimate touch become grabbing and pulling as her energy and attention become rooted in her erotic journey. Again, this is proof of the effect of the oxytocin at work. It causes an initial arousal process but when released into the female body it creates at first a tempered effect, a kind of wariness and an “I like of what you are doing but let me check you out first” feeling, it is only when this passes and when the touch has been assessed and accepted that the decorum deserts, reticence rolls away and is replaced by a full-on primal sexual reaction.

Don’t let it ever be said that women are less sexual than men. If you believe it is men who hold the erotic trump card, you will be wrong. It has to be said that after giving some 200 sensual massages to women, I am still in awe of this experience. Beware guys! Today’s female is changing fast. No longer is it the prerogative of men to be the sexual overseer and it’s not just the young nubile female of the 21st century who is taking control and expressing her deeper desires but in my experience, it is the ladies who are over 35 years old who are the powerhouses of sexual energy. Like a ready time bomb; once the female who has been historically suppressed by cultural, religious or simply social controls lets these fall away, what is revealed is her womanhood in its true glory. But this is not new, only our times and understanding of the female sexuality have changed. During the Victorian era more than 100 years ago; female sexual desire in particular, was just as apparent. The women in the 1850s felt no less sexual desire as a woman of today, but today we understand that for her arousal, orgasm and sexual satisfaction is an essential part of being a female human being. It is not a sign of mental disorder; it is not an indication of being morally corrupt or sacrilegious. It is a simply sign of being a woman and men should embrace and encourage this without question and both parties to enjoy the results.

So go for it girls, reclaim your sexual territory but remember to let the men enjoy being the intimate animals for a while. Given them some tenderness, caress, stroke and care for them and then in return, they will give you all you want in bundles (as long as you show them you want it).

Colin Richards www.massage33.com / www.intimacymatters.co.uk
If you have yet to watch the videos, you can view them at https://vimeo.com/95166258 and https://vimeo.com/94660900.

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Video courtesy of www.massage33.com
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June 15, 2014
Fan Submissions: No Finesse Whatsoever

“Is this water or silicone based lube?” Mike questioned from the bed.

I stared back at him from the bathroom sink. “Um, silicone.”

“Oh, well I thought you couldn’t use silicone lube with silicone toys, something about it messing up the toy’s surface.” Mike responded quizzically.

“Oh, Fuck. I don’t know.”

I pulled the string of pale purple anal beads from the sink of warm water and pinched them slightly.

“Pretty sure they’re just rubber.”

My relationship with Mike grew out of a shared interest in spirituality, whatever the fuck that really means. I was searching for a way out of my vapid sorority saturated college experience and he was available, ready and willing to lure me into one of the strangest relationships I’ll ever know. So, what began as a bond formed over hot coffee and discussions of The Secret, turned into a weirdly fulfilling sexual conquest and bout of experimentation. It’s also what led to my ability to give one hell of a blowjob. I can say that with confidence because I probably gave the kid over 200 blowjobs. I was also taking tips from Sasha Grey videos. He unfortunately, ate pussy like a real amateur. No finesse whatsoever. He treated the whole ordeal like a medical procedure, nerve-racking and tedious. Nothing worse than revealing in a state of post orgasmic bliss and seeing your significant other’s face pull away from your pussy in twisted confusion and fear.

Despite the excessive exchange of oral sex, our sex-ationship held an experimental element that resembled a Masters and Johnson type affair. Our sex had purpose, outside of meaning and intimacy, which it was virtually devoid of. We were pioneers on a sexual frontier conquesting through the use of sex toys, amateur YouTube videos and shared fantasies. Originally, it was all his idea. One night early on, he pulled out a drawstring bag from beneath his bed as I was reading a compilation of Buddhist fables. Without speaking he dumped the contents onto the bed, smiling coyly like some perverted Santa Claus delivering gifts on Christmas. Strewn across the red sheets lay brightly colored cock rings, anal beads, Velcro handcuffs, strange squishy blue dice with words that read “suck” or “pinch” or “kiss”, and a shiny egg-shaped vibrator. “My bag of toys, for you.” He remarked, playing even more into the perverted Santa Claus role. Truthfully though, I loved them all. Each toy brought on a new challenge. I became obsessed, in a way, with the excitement it provided. I felt empowered.

I certainly had my own sexual interest too. They developed mostly out of watching consecutive episodes of True Blood. Something about the erotic subordination of humans during vampire sex that caused me to raise an eyebrow with investigatory excitement. The way this translated in the bedroom was far less fantastical. It involved Mike choking me during intercourse to act out the domineering role of a hollow hearted and sex driven Bill Compton. Most of our fantasies played out that way, providing fleeting enjoyment that fell short due to lack of intimacy.

The relationship will always be memorable despite its lack of meaning. In its aftermath, it helped with many things. It led me to finally buy my own vibrator: fitted with ten pulsating speeds and a waterproof technology that really made bathing a worthwhile endeavor. I grew to know what I like; where, when and how. It made me comfortable to have sex with myself and ask subsequent partners to partake in what I most enjoyed. While the sex-ationship was doomed to collapse but in a serendipitous and realistic way, it’s moments were fun and exciting albeit also deeply embarrassing.

“Ok, well either way, rubber or silicone, bring them over here.” Mike responded decidedly.

“So the video said that if I put them in before I eat you out and then sloooowly pull them out as you’re coming, it will intensify your orgasm or something.”

“Will do.” I replied laying my head back onto the pillow, closing my eyes and inhaling deeply. “Here we go,” I thought. The process itself was mediocre, as it usually was. A combination of inconsistent tongue flicks and infantile sucking that seemed more like a series of muscle spasms than anything else. Eventually though, through the powers of pelvic muscle tightening and nipple stimulation, I began to reach my plateau. I bore down into the bed, arched the small of my back and exclaimed hurriedly, “Ok, I’m about to come.”

As the rush of feeling flowed through my lower half, I barely noticed the gentle motion of beads being pulled slowly from within my ass. And then … shit. Literally. I didn’t really smell or see anything but it became evident that female ejaculate was not the only fluid I secreted at that particular moment. Mike pulled away with force but surprisingly his expression was less exasperated then it was after most instances of pussy-eating. He rushed to the bathroom, beads in hand and quickly threw them into the sink. I laid there, paralyzed, and not in the post orgasmic way I usually enjoyed. “Did I just shit on the bed?” I thought to myself in a moment of sheer panic. I sat up suddenly and looked down. Nothing there. Thank god. The last thing I needed in that moment was to resemble a puppy caught in the act of soiling the Persian rug in the living room. Suddenly Mike reappeared.

“Well, I’ve got to go to work.”

“That didn’t turn out very well did it?”

He smiled. “Could have been better.” He kissed me on the forehead. “Might want to let those soak for a little while.”

I smiled back meekly, feeling my cheeks redden like I was in a Charlie Brown cartoon.

After he headed out, I drudgingly walked into the bathroom. Still unaware of whether I had excreted shit on the beads, I tossed them into the trash. They really didn’t intensify my orgasm anyway.

SimplySxy welcomes articles written by our readers on any topic of their choice. Each submission is edited and published the same as from any of our Sexperts and Contributors.

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June 11, 2014
Is Coming of Age Bothering You?

The other day I was sitting reading the paper with a coffee and watching people stroll by when I saw a man I hadn’t seen in a long time. We can call him Peter. Peter is in his mid seventies and is a retired accountant. He spends most of the year in sunny Spain and a few weeks back in England where he is from. He has been a widower since several years. I met Peter at a BBQ a couple of years back and I found him an easygoing man with a lot of fun stories to tell. We don’t live close to each other, but we always run into one another a few times a year.

Peter might be old, but he is not dead, and every summer he finds some nice young girl to keep, yes, he is a sugar daddy. I have met a couple of his previous girls and they are all in their mid twenties and very good looking.

When he saw me sitting alone, he asked if he could join me, and after the usual chit-chat I noticed he looked a bit off. He had a vacant look on his face, and seemed to be a bit down. I asked him what was going on and this is what he told me.

He had met a new girl a week or so before and she had moved in with him in his villa. Everything was going great until one afternoon. He had been to the grocery store and had told her he would visit a friend after. The friend wasn’t at home so he got back earlier than planned. When he entered the living room, he found his girlfriend on the sofa watching a porn flick on the plasma screen. He was surprised since he didn’t own any porn movies.

When she noticed him; instead of turning off the movie she let it play and began to tell him how hot she was and how much she wanted him. Naturally, he went along and after the sex he asked her where she got the movie from. She told him she had downloaded it on his laptop and then burnt a DVD.

When he finished the story I asked him what the problem was. Obviously the girl was into him. He said that while having sex on the sofa, she kept watching the movie, and he felt she got more turned on by what she saw than from him. He was worried that she needed to see younger guys to get turned on and to have sex with him.

I thought for a while and realized he might be right. Some people say that women don’t like porn, but I disagree. I think certain types of porn are not exciting for women. Personally, I hate when they spit on cocks or anuses to lube them. I think it’s nasty, but that’s my opinion. I tend to like movies with some kind of backstory, (I know, they are hard to find), but something that moves the story forward. I like to see young, hot, and well hung men. I like lesbian scenes or three sums.

Over the years, I have enjoyed a good porn flick with a boyfriend, but I don’t remember watching it as a substitute for him. What I mean is that I don’t need the movie to be turned on. It is more of a combination of being with him and watching. A bit like ice cream and chocolate sauce, both are good on their own, but better together. I can also enjoy a movie by myself and get turned on, but it’s not something I do often.

I told Peter that if what happened really bothered him, he should talk to the girl and explain what he felt. He said that in the end, it didn’t really matter since she was just a summer fling. When he left I watched him go, and I felt a bit sorry for him. I guess he had realized that maybe it was time to give up the sugar daddy act and accept he was at an age where he might not excite young women any longer, and maybe try to meet someone his own age.

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June 3, 2014
Sex and Cancer
When you or someone you love receives a cancer diagnosis, sex may be the furthest thing from your mind. Instead, you are probably thinking, “Holy shit … how did this happen?” and “What do I do now?!” Though eventually, you start craving a return to some sense of normalcy, including at least some sexy time. For some survivors, this happens almost immediately; for others, it takes a bit longer. Thanks to new forms of treatment, many survivors have the time since they are living longer and richer lives than ever before.

That being said, about half of survivors report having long-lasting sexual issues. Because sex involves both body and mind, these issues can be physical, mental, or emotional. They may bother only you or they may affect your relationship with a partner. Regardless, the end result is the same: you aren’t getting the sex and intimacy they crave and deserve.

In this two-part series, we’ll be exploring both the common sexual issues experienced by cancer survivors and what you can do about them. Because I believe good sex, however you define it, is everyone’s birthright! Consider this Part I to be the foreplay to an amazing and climactic Part II.

So what are these sexual issues? The most common ones are:
- Loss of or decreased sexual desire (libido)
- Pain with intercourse (dyspareunia)
- The inability to become aroused
- Difficulty reaching orgasm (climax)
Other side effects can change your sex life even if they aren’t sexual in nature. For example, tiredness (fatigue), swelling in your arms and legs (lymphedema), and bodily pain can make sex both difficult and uncomfortable. Heck, we all know that if you are tired enough, even the best sex can feel like a chore!

Then there are the physical changes. Maybe you’ve gained or lost weight (and hair), had a surgery, or sported an ostomy. These things might understandably make you feel a little uncomfortable or even embarrassed when naked. I’m going to talk a lot about self-love ßdouble entendre intended in Part II but for now let me say this: your beautiful body has gotten you through so damn much. If the only thing you can muster is gratitude for what s/he’s gone through, then focus on that for now and worry about boosting your body image later.

*back to our regularly scheduled programing*

I know these changes can feel totally overwhelming and un-sexy. Luckily, there are so many treatment options no matter what side effects you are experiencing. Being a cancer survivor does not have to mean the end of your (amazing) sex life.

Go ahead and repeat that a few times until it sinks in. Then tune in for our Part II.

Your Partner in Passion,
Kait

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May 22, 2014