Category: Sex Ed

Kinky Kinks
Sex or sexual intercourse is always hot and steamy on the first or maybe second time but what comes after is the mundane routine of in and out and in and out and … well … you get the idea. So I begin to wonder what can be done to spice up the relationship … sexually. So I asked around, including Mr. Google, and did some exploration (with my partner of course) and tried many possible kinky moves, which led me to some sassy information to share with all of you.

Rope & Blindfold Playing
The run-of-the-mill being tied up and blindfolded works almost every time as my partner pretends to be a pervasive intruder exploring every part of my body, looking for spots that sends my body tingling with joy. The moans and screams (at times) serve as human radar for him to know if he is near or reaching a g-spot. It is most exciting when he hits a spot that makes me go “woah” without any anticipation as he maneuvers along my body.

Sexual Role-play
Expanding from that, role-playing can really unleash one’s creativity to the max where anything and everything is possible. Combinations can include soldier vs. prisoner, police vs. robber, king vs. jester, kidnapper vs. kidnapee, pilot vs. air-steward, servant vs. gardener, bellboy vs. hotel guest, power ranger vs. monster and many more. While the possibilities are infinite, please do not engage in dangerous acts such hanging down from ceiling with ropes of questionable quality, or banging too hard and causing the bed to fall apart. On top of which, there are many shops out there that offer rental of costumes at pretty affordable rates.

While much of these information can be found online, some things can be discovered as gays … oops I mean days go by.

Blow Cock Blow
Don’t be stingy with the blowjobs, really, as I’ve never seen anything works better than a good blowjob. When I say blowjob, one does not simply wrap da mouth on the cock and suck away. Treat the cock like an UFO that you want to explore every inch of before you start the engine. Move from the “cock-pit” to the “opening” and slowly give the touch-and-go with the tongue, as if things will go haywire when the tongue stays too long. Following which, the exploration of sides, top and bottom is important before embarking on the journey to orgasm.

All About Positioning
While a business shop front is about location, location and location, bedtime sex front is all about position, position and position. With two sticks and two holes, the permutations and combinations of positions is almost limitless. While doggy is the preferred position for most, missionary, 69 and see-saw seem to work better for me and my boo. No one position fits all; there is always a preferred position for each couple.

The Don’ts
Exploring is important, but there are boundaries that one should not cross. I have seen a few examples of kinky games gone wrong (not by me though) and I sure hope the below will serve as a caution and reminder here.
- Melted hot sugar is not like wax as they retain heat much longer. Thus, can cause a nasty burn or even peelings when poured onto bare skin.
- Handcuffs are harder to take off in time and emergencies which can put one in dangerous position. Just stick to ropes, we are not really kidnapping anyway.
- Don’t use toys too often as they can be cause infections and STIs if not sanitized properly, resulting in nasty rashes and skin problems.
- Threesomes break up more relationships than enhancing them, no one who loves their partner deeply will want to see them being penetrated or penetrating another person.
- Please leave live animals alone as they are not meant to be involved in anything sexual with humans.
- NEVER EVER use drugs or pills as they impair one’s judgment. The greatest medicine for sex is love and nothing beats that.
What works for me and my partner is not universal, and so it is important for two people in love to explore what is best for them and what takes them to the next level of the relationship, sexually … *wink*

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November 14, 2014
Be the BEST Sex She’s Ever Had

I often get asked that question by men, sometimes even the occasional woman as well: How does a man give his partner (or indeed any woman he crosses sexual paths with) the best sex she’s ever had?

The first thing I’d say to that is: you can’t. Not on your own anyway. You’re no more in charge of giving her the best sexual experience of her life than she is in charge of yours. At the end of the day, every individual is responsible for fulfilling their own sexual desires. All others can do is help them along that path. That said, some ways of lending a hand are better than others.

Working as a male escort and in adult films might sometimes leave the wrong impression that I’m some sort of sexual casanova who is able to dole out orgasms at the slightest touch, a single spoken word or perhaps even a simple look.

I wish.

Failed attempts at making any lady swoon with a terrible “Blue Steel” imitation aside, the reality is markedly different.

What someone enjoys behind the privacy of closed doors varies greatly from person to person. Someone might take months to build the level of trust needed for them to be intimate with another person. For others, where taking the privacy (and doors) away is a huge turn on. There’s no “guaranteed sex tip” that will work with every woman you come across in your life’s sexual adventure. Sure, you can learn techniques on how to give better oral, new positions, or even bring out some toys but I can guarantee that it’s not going to work on every girl you meet though. What has one girl writhing around in pleasure, unable to speak, might leave another staring blankly at you asking “am I supposed to be feeling something?”

With all that said, it might leave you wondering how you’re meant to navigate the maze that is pleasing a woman. How are you supposed to know what she wants when this is your first sexual experience with her? What if you’re with a long-term partner and you just want to spice things up in the bedroom a bit?

The truth is there is one tip, one sexual technique, that is guaranteed to work above all others. It’s simple to learn. Knowing this won’t result in flocks of sex-crazed women with thirst in their eyes and hunger in their hearts trying to tear your clothes off. You might, however, figure out a few things about how to please the girl you’re with.

Are you ready to learn the surefire way to please and fulfil her?

For the one sex tip to give her the best sex she’s ever had?

Pay attention.

It may sound obvious but seems to escape the grasp of many. If you’re not paying attention to your partner, how can you figure out what works and what doesn’t? It’s not about you being the best at sex, it’s about giving her the best sex she’s ever had.

Some like it slow and soft, in a candlelit room with gentle music playing in the background. Some like to be tied up, spanked, choked, have their hair pulled and submit to their “master.” Then there are those between those extremes. Often there are those who might like one extreme one day and something at the complete opposite end of the spectrum the next. Everyone has different preferences, different kinks, different fetishes. When you strip all of that away, what’s left is always the same thing: the desire to have a partner (or partners) who pay attention to them and take the time to figure out what they want, what makes their buttons tick.

It’s all very good for your girlfriend to say “I like it when you go down on me,” but how? Do you just dive on down there (I’d advise against this) and go hell for leather? Should you be spending a lot of time kissing and cuddling first? Does she like it when you play with her body? Bite her ears? Kiss her neck softly? Run your hands slowly down her body? Does she like to be teased, to have her hands held down or be tied up whilst you frustrate the hell out of her? To almost give her what she wants but backing off just before you get there?

If she’s flat out already told you the answer to all those questions, then you better get to work. You’re with a sexually liberated woman who clearly knows what she wants and is expecting you to give it to her. If not, you could ask, but where’s the fun in that? Half the enjoyment comes from exploring each other’s bodies and minds, finding what turns each other on and then giving it to them. Or withholding it temporarily, depending on how much you like teasing.

The best way to find the answer to all those questions is by paying attention. To everything. Outside of the bedroom and in it. Is your partner shy or adventurous? Does she like spontaneity and surprise or to know what’s happening in advance so she can freshen up first? Has she ever expressed certain desires around what you’re about to do to her? What’s her personality like? Her sense of humour? Is sex something to be taken seriously with her or something you can joke about? How does she react when you touch her in certain ways? Let out a soft moan, close her eyes, arch her back and slowly buck her hips? Congratulations, you’re probably on to something. Keep doing that.

And if she grabs your neck, pulls your hair until your faces are level and says “don’t you fucking dare stop what you’re doing right now?” Well, you might be on the right track but keep trying to make sure.

There’s no such thing as a non-reaction. If you’re doing something and your partner doesn’t react then that tells you something in itself. It could be that they’re not enjoying it. Or, it could be that they’re enjoying it so much and that they’re so focussed on what you’re doing to them that the thought of moving or making a sound completely slipped their mind. it’s up to you to figure out which is which.

Getting an idea of what turns someone on doesn’t mean the fun has to stop. If your partner likes the particular way you do something to her, try something slightly different next time. Go a bit harder or softer. Faster or slower. Use a lighter touch or be slightly more forceful. When you’re having sex with someone, your partner is constantly communicating to you what she likes and what she doesn’t, whether you realise it or not. Maybe she liked the new thing you tried more. Good, keep doing that and then try adding again to it next time. Maybe she didn’t. That’s not a bad thing at all. Learning what doesn’t work is just as important as learning what does.

Putting the time and effort into learning what turns your partner on is what’s going to set you apart from everyone else. Communicate, be considerate and don’t put your own desires above someone else’s comfort.

If you want to give her the best sex she’s ever had, pay attention. It’s a good place to start.

Images courtesy of Ryan James
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November 11, 2014
Sex Positions ♥ Missionary

Carter Cruise … shares her views on the Sex Position—Missionary.

Description: The classic Missionary position—lie on your back while he lies face down on top of you

What Excites Carter: There’s something primal about missionary to me. I imagine this is the way cavemen had sex long before tantra came along and that animalism is appealing. Also, eye contact is HOT during sex and missionary is one of the easiest positions to maintain good eye contact during sex. I also like the pressure of the man’s pelvic mound against my clit. I personally like to begin and end sex with missionary. In the beginning, it’s a good way to start slow and really get the mood going with lots of eye contact and kissing. At the end, when the guy is going to cum, he can take control of the speed and intensity, and the woman gets a good view of her partner’s climax.

What Doesn’t Excite: I think the reason this position has gotten so much bad press is because couples use it just to “get the job done,” when they aren’t feeling kinky or creative. If it’s used that way, it can become vanilla and boring!

Best locations to do it: Any horizontal surface, but for comfort and to really get the most out of this position a bed or other soft surface is preferable.

Ways to Spice it Up: Just because the man is in the dominant position here doesn’t mean he has to do all the work! The woman can grind back against him so the position becomes a more mutual exchange, instead of just lying there and taking it. Since the woman’s hands are free, take advantage of that! Scratch your partners back, head, or explore other erogenous zones like the ears during a more slow paced missionary, and use your hands to stimulate your clit during a more fast paced session. You can even hold a vibrator on your clit so that when combined with the internal stimulation from the cock, this produces explosive orgasms. If you’re feeling kinky, have your man hold your arms down above your head in pseudo-bondage. Also, placing something like a pillow under the woman’s backside for support increases friction on the clit. This is a great position to practice mutual orgasm!

Carter’s Verdict: Missionary doesn’t have to be boring! It’s a versatile position that can be slow and sensual, or fast and rough. Lots of skin to skin and eye contact make it intense and romantic, and clitoral stimulation from the man’s body or woman’s hand makes it a good position to reach climax for both partners!

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November 9, 2014
How to Pick Up and Satisfy A MILF

All of us ladies think about getting laid, regardless of whether or not we’re married. While most just won’t admit it, here is what works for me.

First

DO NOT appear shy or timid because I want to be fucked, and fucked well. I don’t want to have to teach a class, so show me a good time once we’re there.

Second

DO NOT be overly aggressive or a jerk and start off your conversation with who you know or what you own. MILFs are more concerned with getting laid than you knowing the president, although trust me they also do not want a guy living under a bridge either, so be casual in your discussions about what you do. A great smile and a wink does get my attention.

Third

NEVER be CHEAP. You don’t have to buy me a new Porsche 911 but if we’re at a nightclub, you better put the drinks on your tab or you’re toast. And if we’re at a nightclub, ask me for a dance as it gets me warmed up.

Four

Don’t push me for a number (I’m married remember?). Offer me your number instead or where i can find you (I will track you down if I’m interested). Ooops, this should be towards the top of this list LOL. If you’re not well dressed, forget it. Dressing casually or even a hot suit gets my attention, not a guy with his baseball hat on backwards. By all means, be well groomed and smell great. Try to hold it down (loud guy’s really turn me off) unless we’re fucking.

Fifth

Be in shape. Being in shape is not really the case with me, even though I love guys who are in shape, their personality means most and you do not have to look like Brad Pitt to get with me (but that would be nice LOL). Nonetheless, if you have expectations of the MILF you’re picking up, you ought to meet our requirements too.

After we’ve made it through the first phase and we’re heading towards the bedroom, now comes the most critical part. Your eyes. If you do not look me square in the eyes and speak, you’re toast. Again, i don’t want some guy looking all over the restaurant when he talks to me and if he does that, he has something to hide. I was a bartender and I’m better qualified than most therapists on liars and if I catch you in a fib, it’s see ya baby. Besides, I’m married and I never hide the fact that I am, so you guys better not either.

Oh you can be married but don’t give me this BS about your wife sleeping in the other room or she doesn’t understand you (boo hoo!) because I won’t buy it. We both know why we’re chatting so let’s cut the BS to a minimum … so as I leave, ask me to lunch somewhere semi-private and kiss me. Not overly passionate, but a nice kiss so i can feel your firm arms and always compliment me and that you must see me again … girls love hearing it, I know I do.

Congratulations, you’ve passed all the steps and we’ve communicated over the next few days or weeks and been to lunch a few times. So let’s now fuck but where are we going to? Obviously, we’re not going to my house and if you’re single and we get to your place and it’s a wreck, I’ll turn around and leave, guaranteed. For men who are single, clean up the place (and yes I’ll check the bathroom) and if you’re married, NO WAY are we going to your place or your buddy’s apartment. So the option left is (you want to impress me remember) a 5-star resort which will work and one with a beach (I’m in FL). And if none of those are available, it’s the Hilton Suites or equivalent (we’re not heading to the motel 6).

Once we’re there (you’ll be arriving first), have our dinner reservations taken care of and a nice bottle of wine waiting with two glasses (not cups). If it’s our first encounter, some flowers would be nice. Then it’s off for a romantic dinner and back for some HOT action and it better be good or you may have just seen the last of your MILF.

I’m old school, I love doors opened for me, flowers, cards, and hot hot sex.

Image courtesy of Sally D’Angelo
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November 7, 2014
Anal Sex … how to make your partner try it again with you

I’m finding these days that the average person is often terrified, shy or uncomfortable when it comes to talking about sex. At lot of women I’ve encountered over the years will still blush at even a mere mention of a sex joke. Considering society’s sexual saturation of magazines, commercials, movies and TV, one would think people wouldn’t be so uptight or shy about the subject of sex. What I find even more shocking is that people these days are forgetting even the fundamentals of what sex is really about: love and the exploration of pleasing your partner’s needs. Society’s great double standard on sex is: we sexualize people everywhere but we don’t talk about sex. Actually, let’s talk about it, and let’s talk about one of the most taboo subjects during intercourse with your partner, one that most people do not want to talk about: Anal Sex.

Anal sex is probably one of the most controversial subjects I have encountered. The general consensus is twofold: either people are all about it and love the experience, or, they hated it and think it’s gross or won’t even try it because they’ve heard from other people about their bad experiences. However, I think most people’s negative perceptions of it are general unfounded. It comes down to a lack of knowledge and understanding about this subject, something that ends up shying people away from something that they could really enjoy if it were approached in a way that helped them have a positive experience instead of a negative one. I was actually one of those people who originally hated even the idea of it because I had a bad experience in my younger years with a bad partner who had no experience or knowledge on how to do it right. I’ve always considered myself a sexual person and generally felt like I had a pretty good knowledge of the human body. However, when I entered the adult entertainment industry, I realized how little I really knew about the human body and sexual arousal. I knew enough that the average person considered me a rockstar in bed, but when everyone you work with in the business is a rockstar in bed, you have to learn how to play all the instruments in the band and make music together with your partner as well. I’ve learned all sorts of things about myself, my body and just the way things need to go in order to have a good time on many different levels. I also consider myself a changed woman because of what I have learned from the adult business and most importantly, about anal sex.

People have to realize that if they are interested in having anal sex with their partner, they shouldn’t be afraid to ask. However, you need to do your research about it in order to learn and understand how anal sex needs to be done in order for both parties to enjoy themselves. Everyone’s anus is shaped differently, just like every woman has a differently shaped vagina. Just like a vagina, an anus can be easier to penetrate (or not) depending on several factors. One, has your partner ever had anal before? Two, how aroused are they? Three, how relaxed is their partner making them feel about the whole experience. If they haven’t done it before they probably are going to be a lot tighter even when fully aroused because their anus hasn’t been stretched out and they may not be relaxed. Yes, rule number one; you have to do a little stretching of the anus, especially if they are on the smaller or tighter side. Therefore, you can’t just stick it in and expect your partner to be all for it. There is a process you need to do with your partner before you even attempt to start sticking it in there.

The first step is you have to make sure your partner is aroused. Spend the extra time doing foreplay and/or having traditional sex. The second step is, pick the right starting position. If you (or your partner) haven’t had anal sex before, a great position to try starting out with is Doggie. I find this position to be a great starting position because it straightens the colon out so penetration can occur without any weird angles. Be sure to put some lube on your finger and gently slide it in your partner’s anus. It’s even better for a woman when you are engaged in vaginal sex and foreplay while performing the insertion of a finger into her anus. I find that this is actually a great way to enhance the initial experience in a very arousing way that’s not painful, especially for first timers. If your partner is enjoying themselves with just a finger, then I recommend you both go to a sex shop together and buy a few different size butt plugs. I also I recommend the biggest one you buy is the girth of your partners penis. I personally like glass toys, they usually are a little more expensive but these are smoother and don’t stick or grab any skin during the slow insertion process … I know you were probably hoping I was going say a finger should do the trick! Sometimes it does, but you have to assume that your partner’s anus is small and you both need to explore that together. It’s always better to take anal sex slowly and safely, and communicate well because if you end up hurting your partner, you will lose all the trust they had in you and they will probably not be open to the idea of having it again. Sex is about trust and the exploration of love and sexuality. We always need to take our partners into consideration. That means we should always make sure they are comfortable and do our best to avoid any unnecessary pain.

Once you both find a few butt plug sizes you like, go back to step one: Lots of foreplay and vaginal sex, with gentle and lubricated anal fingering. After your partner is fully aroused try step two: Doggie position, this time with your butt plug. Apply lots of lube onto the butt plug and don’t forget on and inside your partner’s anus as well. Put some lube on your finger and use the fingering to help lubricate the inside of the anal cavity. You can never have to much lube, my favorite lube are “Eros” and “Pjur”, both are silicone based lubricants. I find that silicone based lube lasts the longest and doesn’t dry up at all during intercourse. Lube is very important for anal, unlike the vagina that makes natural lubrication the anus doesn’t not produce any natural lubricant at all. While you are still in the Doggie position, having tradition sex, slowly insert the smallest butt plug you bought. Make sure you are listening to your partner’s body language and their verbal feedback. Communication is very important, the idea is to make sure every time you are having sex or anal sex that the experience is a good one. Leave it in the entire time you are having sex, so your partner gets used to the feeling and the idea of having something inside their anus while they are having sex and having orgasms! If your partner is enjoying themselves or the butt plug falls out (which is a good sign they are relaxed) you can try the next size up in butt plugs you bought. Guys! This doesn’t have to happen all in one night. Sometimes this takes time and the more orgasms you give her while she has a butt plug in, the more she’ll be interested in trying more with you! Spend some time moving up in sizes with your butt plugs until you’ve reached the point where you are using the largest butt plug comfortably. Once the largest butt plug doesn’t brother your partner at all, you and your partner are finally ready to try anal sex.

Of course, repeat steps one, two, and then actual anal sex. I recommend that you still the use the largest butt plug because you need it to help your partner (or yourself, if you are the woman) relax. Anal sex isn’t just about stretching your anus. While that is part of the training, you also need to learn to relax and enjoy the feeling of the penetration. The last step to achieving the goal of being able to have anal sex with your partner is for your partner to lay flat on her stomach and perhaps try putting a small pillow under your hips if it makes the penetration angle more comfortable. Pull the butt plug out slowly then lube the penis and slowly insert the penis in. Guys! You must go slowly; the penis will probably be going in a little deeper than the butt plug you have been using. Kissing your partner’s neck, holding their hands, or rubbing their back to distract them is a good idea. I also recommend using a vibrator on your clit as a great distraction during initial penetration. Once you are full inserted, take it slow and again make sure your partner is having a good time. Remember, your partner is trusting you to not hurt them in any away, so even if the first time is just you just being fully inserted, and both of you enjoying the feeling together, that’s okay. Guys remember, if your partner isn’t enjoying herself, chances are you won’t get to do it again, so focus on her pleasure. If she has an orgasm that’s great, you will both be ready to move forward, if not go back a few steps and work on vaginal intercourse with a butt plug until she does. It might be a little uncomfortable the first couple times, but like anything you do, she will get used to it after you’ve done it a few times. Remember: if you as the partner messes this up, there really is no going back and your partner might or might not let you do it again, and it might take them a while to recover and trust you enough to try it with you again.

After you’ve become an adventurous anal sexpert, you will be more apt to explore the other kinds of awesome things you get to do in your sex life. You won’t be limited to just tradition sex anymore. One of the things that can help make your woman feel more comfortable with the whole act of anal sex is being clean. You should buy an enema bag and clean your colon, the best way to do that is to use warm water, and rinse with your enema until the water that comes out of your anus is super clean. This is an absolute must if you want to try one of my personal favorite things to do: something I like to call “Double Dipping”. This is inserting the penis the anus, and then switching to the vagina. I have found personally that this is one of the most intense orgasmic experiences I’ve had: first having an anal orgasm, followed immediately by a vaginal one. Another of my personal favorites is using toys to be “Double Penetrated” that is having something in my vagina and my anus at the same time. I recommend you try these, because they are amazing and fun, but remember, if you do, always remember to clean especially well before hand, and then afterwards as well. That means douching after “Double Dipping” girls. You don’t want to get a yeast infection just because you didn’t rinse afterwards. Think of it as having a shower both inside and out after sex, and if you have the feeling that you aren’t super clean while you are in mid sex, don’t do it, wait until next time.

At the end of day, it’s up to you and your partner to decide what levels of anal play and sex you want to go to but anal sex isn’t something you can just jump into, (for most people that is). Anal sex is supposed to be fun but you will find that it is also very intimate, because of the time and steps you need to prepare, but mostly because of the level of trust and communication you will both have to make sure that both partners are enjoying it to the fullest. Don’t be shy or uncomfortable to talk about your sexual desires or needs. We are all human, we all have needs and sex certainly shouldn’t be one of those things as a society we should be so uptight about that we can’t talk to our partners about our wants, desires and needs. So, with that said, communicate with your partner, explore your desires, go slow, be patient, be safe and have fun!

Happy Orgasms!

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November 6, 2014
A Lasting Impression

I wanted to add something to the Core Erotic Theme (CET)/our children developing ideas around sex and sexuality while they are young topic.

A male friend of mine and I were having a discussion about porn and erotic literature. We just recently uncovered that something he used to do as a tween has had a profound impact on his adult sex life! WOW. Imagine that. (said sarcastically. For those of you who are new to reading my blog and haven’t heard me rant about “talking to your kids early and often”, this is my mantra).

The back-story here is when he was 12 he began to read Penthouse Forum magazines (he won’t reveal his source or exactly how he came in possession of the “literature”). He would scan the articles and select one based on topic and length. (Size queen? Jk). He said articles that were too short weren’t worth unzipping his fly. When he found one that was appealing, he would commence… do I really need to spell it out here?? 😉

This friend was particularly aroused by the stories in Forum that contained what we are lovingly referring to as “the change up” – a typical non-sexual situation turning into something sexual. You know, those instances where the housewife greets the pizza delivery boy and seduces him, or the handy man replacing a light bulb has his pants pulled down around his ankles while he is on the ladder. Those fantasies from his youth were arousing to him then and, until recently, he didn’t realize the lasting impact this had on his sex life. Yet he packed it away into the recesses of his mind and started unpacking because of our open discussions about turn-ons and our basic Core Erotic Themes. So now he understands why, as an adult, he still enjoys fantasizing about the neighbor’s wife, being fondled while doing household chores, and for some inexplicable reason gets aroused whenever someone delivers a pizza.

For parents of tweens: Make sure you are communicating with your children about what they know or are experiencing. Do not assume your children are not exploring their own bodies. Here’s some news for you… the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine 2010 reports by age 14-15, 67.5% of boys had already masturbated in their lifetime, not to mention that 13% of them had already received oral sex from a female in their 14-15 year “lifetime”. Correspondingly, for 14-15 year old girls, 43.3% had masturbated and 10.1% had received oral sex from a male in their lifetime. What is not clear to me from the data is if the girls had masturbated to orgasm, or if they know what female orgasm is?

The stuff your kids are doing and seeing NOW is having a lasting impact on their budding sexuality. If you suppress it, repress it, or otherwise make sex shameful, it may have an adverse effect on how they express themselves sexually as adults. If you talk about fantasy etc. now, they are more likely to have a healthier, sex-positive attitude when they are adults.

I understand: this is tough stuff! As a mother, I get nervous thinking of my own daughters engaging in sexual behavior at what seems to be a young age. I want to make sure I keep their little life rafts moored to the mother ship so they always know they can come to me with questions and that I’ll do my best to answer them. It’s ok to acknowledge your discomfort. It’s ok to say you don’t know the answer but offer to research it together. But please do NOT lie or make shit up. It only pushes your children away from you. If you lie to them and they find out the “real” answer, you will have proven to them that you don’t know what you are talking about. Our kids already think they know-it-all, let them at least know the truth.

For you parents, I want you to remember your own youth. Remember how awkward and uncomfortable it was with all of those hormones and breast buds and first periods or cracking voices and facial hair and growing pains. Did you go through all that alone? Wouldn’t it have been better if a loving, caring adult in your life talked to you about it? Ok, of course lots of you are going to cringe at the thought of your own uncool parent discussing sex but are you so uncool yourself? I know plenty of adults who would rather have someone else have these conversations with their children for them but, really?? Don’t YOU want to stay informed and involved?

This article has been republished with permission from Lanae St.John.
Please visit Lanae St.John’s website to view the original post and more of Lanae’s works.

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November 4, 2014
Sex Positions ♥ The Bicycle

Mia Li, the new adorkable asian pornstar, shares her views on the Sex Position—The Bicycle.

Description: Stand at the edge of a bed or desk while she lies back and raises her legs to her chest. Her knees are bent as if she’s doing a “bicycling” exercise. Grab her ankles and enter her. Thrust slowly as the deep penetration may be painful for her.

What Excites Mia Li: This position is amazing because as a strong woman, you’ll be able to control your man’s movement a bit with your legs to adjust how he strokes himself into you.

What Doesn’t Excite: Unfortunately, this position isn’t universally pleasing for all shapes of cocks. I could see how some downie pointed cocks may not be the happiest. Also, some larger cocks may pose a problem because it will allow them to enter rather too deeply.

Best locations to do it: Because this position doesn’t really scream discretion, it is best to try this one at home.

Ways to Spice it Up: If you’re flexible enough, have your fella lean forward so you can kiss while he’s in you.

Mia’s Verdict: This position definitely is a fun alternative to missionary, however I know from experience if I have a big partner, he needs to go slowly before we can fuck more vigorously in this position. It just requires an adjustment period dependent on the cock size and shape.

Check out Mia’s earlier interview with SimplySxy here http://simplysxy.com/articles/2014/05/13/interview-mia-li-new-adorkable-asian-pornstar/

Images courtesy of Mia Li and Shutterstock
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November 3, 2014
Sexual Expectations: Those Magic Numbers

Countless times I have heard my male friends, followed by columns and articles stating about men wrestling with the illusion that there is some “magic member number”. I suppose women have had some concerns as well, since the American Society of Plastic Surgeons advised in 2013, breast augmentations, also known as breast implant plastic surgery was at an increase. The year’s statistics totaled an all year high overall of 313,327 for breast enhancements for the 2013 year. This is a 37% increase over the last 10 years. However, it wasn’t the most wanted surgery, believe it or not. Liposuction was at the top of the list, according to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery (ASAPS), there was a 16% increase, and over one billion dollars spent nationwide for liposuction. Since we are looking at the numbers, let me go ahead and make the distinction that women, forgoing liposuction first, for breast augmentation, still spent over 10.3 million, which according to the ASPS, was 90.6% of the total expenditure. On the other side of the coin, men spent more than 1 million for the most wanted procedure of liposuction, and the wants and needs of both sexes are expected to continue to rise in the 2014 year as well. It seems there is something to the “number” after all. It seems that it is not just women who are struggling with vanity, but men as well. Men are also struggling with the concept of insecurity in size. However, it does seem to be effecting masculinity in a slightly different way as men are not quite ready to opt for penile implants just yet. So there is some truth to the magic number theory; it does effect both sexes, just not to the extremes.

There also is another “in common factor” that may keep men from finding out that is there is no “magic number”. In actual fact, there is no “one” number for each situation. The statistics show that approximately 41,464 women had their augmentations removed for aesthetic reasons. Therefore, what women considered the wrong number, changed at a heavy cost to their personal and financial wellbeing, to a more “right” number. Yet after what would be, I suppose, a reasonable amount of time, the right number was deemed the wrong number once again. Therefore, the search began once more, and so does the augmentation process. There are no statistics on the aesthetics of penile implant reversal as of yet, but I am sure we will see some at one point or another. It just seems there has to be an easier way. As a matter of fact, there is. Depending on the exercise, there is something both men and women can do to contribute to “sizing up” the situation on what your partner needs. These are what you focus on, not what is the “magic” number? I understand when you are in the gym, you may have to vary your routine, as you have to make use of your time and the available equipment. As with either of these activities, the main focus should be on enjoyment, not equipment.

It’s understandable how this could be worrisome to both sexes. Women want more, men want more but yet what they want are really two different things. However, both can achieve what they want by committing themselves to the same exercise. Yes ladies, it’s the kegels; but kegels aren’t just for you, they are for your partner too. For the ladies, the pelvic floor makes those muscles strong, offering a well-positioned vault. For men, the stronger the pelvic floor muscles, the longer and the harder the erection. The penis receives better blood flow, providing a better angle, preventing any possibility of premature ejaculation. As a matter of fact, a man with rehearsed kegels can attain multiple orgasms. Therefore, if you are worried you may not have what it takes, not to worry. Not only will you have what it takes, you will have it, have it stronger, and for a longer period of time—multiple times. So, find yourself a comfortable pace; about three times a day. Practice your kegels and you will not have to be concerned about any performance issues. The only thing you will need to worry about is making sure your partner can keep up. Any number worries you may have had can go by the way-side, unless it’s the counting of sheep through the night.

Images courtesy of Brenda Stapleton and Shutterstock
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November 1, 2014
One Night Stand Etiquettes

Etiquettes extend beyond a first dinner date and serious corporate functions. Suffice it to say, it goes into the bedroom as well. One fine day if you find your 2 am booty calls (for the lack of a better term) slowly flaking away from your life, like how she tries avoiding you by hiding the timestamp for starters, it’s probably your insensitivity that got you a one-way ticket to doucheland. Yeah, it’s not so much the bad sex as that. We’re not advocating how you should live your life; whether it’s your first time or you’re a serial polygamist, pay close attention to these set of ONS etiquettes so you at least leave with your gentlemanhood intact and you leave without an almost inevitable string of angry texts. Probably.

Sometimes, the opportunity to get lucky comes when you least expect it and we’re pretty sure your place is anything but available, with your folks sleeping right next door. The handicap cubicle doesn’t quite cut it either. That then leaves you with the only option of testing the waters and gauging her reaction towards getting a room; while you’re totally comfortable in your own skin as a man-slut, the ladies don’t exactly feel the same way going for a quickie at a cheap hotel. You had best be prepared for one luxurious f*ck at Marina Bay Sands or something.

How do we test the waters? Instead of telling her you have a dancing cat to exhibit, casually suggest the two of you should bounce off to another ‘fun place’. She’ll get the hint. Hopefully.

So congrats, fella. You sealed the deal. But this is the one time you should save the Thank-You’s: she’s not a hooker. Even so, you wouldn’t really say something like this would you? The both of you needn’t be reminded of how the whole wham-bam is one big transaction.

If there is an indispensable nugget of wisdom that we HAVE to dispense, it would be this: be safe. It is your responsibility to keep the STDs at bay, and it is also YOUR responsibility to keep the lady from an unwanted Mother’s Day (speaking of which, it’s right round the corner). Keep a condom in your wallet at all times like an insurance policy.

Because we have an implicit trust with you, we have unanimously decided not to insert a picture of decaying privates over here.

If you are the host…

a) With a stroke of luck, nobody’s home. The place is yours, for now. You don’t quite have the time to do last minute spring cleaning, so make sure your bedroom is as sleek and neat as the one you see up there. No one likes making the beast with two backs in a sty, and we mean no one.

b) If she’s staying over, offer some basic toiletries. The morning after, have some freshly brewed coffee ready. She’ll appreciate a little homemade perk-me-up, and you can bet it’ll keep her coming back, you tiger (*wink).

c) If she isn’t, offer to get her a taxi home. With the “Easy Taxi” app on the app store, staying in an obscure area is no longer an excuse to leave her out on her own.

If you are the guest…

a) Sure, it’s a no-strings-attached one night of fun and we know you’re dying to scoot off right after to catch some BPL. But you don’t necessarily have to make her feel cheap about herself. Unless she makes it absolutely crystal clear she’s not the type who cuddles. Whatever the case, at least let her know you have an early morning tomorrow and offer to keep in touch.

b) If you’re staying over, well, enjoy the repeat performance.

This article and all associated images have been republished with permission from Seriously Man.

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October 31, 2014
In Praise of the Facial

Okay, yeah, I freely admit that it was porn that started the whole thing off … the ‘whole thing’ being my love for ejaculating on a woman’s face. That’s right, my name is Jack Carrer … and I am a facial lover.

Like a lot of guys my age—that’s the early 40s in case you were wondering—I came to porn late. I grew up in a pre-Internet society, which meant if you wanted access to porn you physically had to go into a shop and buy it … printed on paper, which, if you were serious about it, probably meant a journey to some distant part of the city where none of the local news agents knew you or your parents. Otherwise, you simply hoped to get lucky and find one in the bushes somewhere.

Maybe it wasn’t such a thing back then, but the odd porn magazine we were occasionally able to get our hands on every now and then, never really had much in the way of pictures of women with thick globs of semen splashed across their cheeks. There was a lot of horribly lit penetration, that was for sure (don’t forget, this was also before the digital revolution and Photoshop changed visual reality forever), and as far as ‘niche’ tastes went, the choice seemed to range from the usual stuff to big tits (there was, I recall, a magazine called Jiggly Juggly Jugs), large women and peculiarly scary bondage. Probably only porn sophisticates would have even known that facials were actually a thing.

Moving from the UK to Barcelona in my early 20s, I found things were very different. Porn magazines were sold openly in street kiosks, along with video and DVDs, and sex shops there were aplenty. It was looking down at this array of magazines on the famous Ramblas that I began to get an inkling that when it came to porn and sex, people were into a lot of different things. It was also when I began to realize that I, specifically, was drawn to the facial.

Having plucked up the courage to buy a DVD—I mean, they were just THERE, for Christ’s sake, IN PLAIN SIGHT, for everyone to purchase!—I took it back to my flat and popped it into my player. It was all pretty arousing stuff, of course, to a young man discovering some fresh illicit material, naked women, bums and breasts bouncing about, blowjobs (photographic stills were one thing, but, boy, do moving pictures bring out the most in a recorded blowie!) and then … it happened! A woman got down on her knees after a powerful bout of shagging, looked up at her male counterpart and said the words that would forever burn themselves onto the lust centers of my brain, “Come on my face!” And damn, if the guy didn’t do exactly that, and then some. He actually seemed to explode all over the woman’s seemingly joyful face. I mean it went everywhere! Thick white yoghurt-y streaks traced diagonal lines across the entirety of her face, dripping slowly between her lips and into her mouth, welling under her nose and the corner of one of her eyes … It was, without doubt, the hottest thing I had ever seen and from that moment, I was hooked. It became the thing I looked for in porn.

I began to search out the ‘facial’ and found, much to my happiness, that there was a pretty big subculture for it. And, to my surprise, I quickly found that even within the niche itself, there were things I liked and things I didn’t, that I had developed predilections for certain facials and distaste for others. For example, I enjoy the skin/semen contrast, meaning I like the jizz to be full-bodied, white and sticky, so it clings to the cheeks and actually looks like it’s there; this meant, for example, that for me a lot of the Euro-porn that was coming out of places like France and Italy at the time were out, because for some reason or other—possibly the food— the men seemed only able to ejaculate a thin, watery fluid that slid straight off and made the woman look like a messy drinker and nothing else.

I also found that bukkake was not my thing either. This you might think would be unusual. If you like to see a man come on a woman’s face, surely you’d like to see lots of men do so. I thought the same. Turned out I was wrong. It was just too much, and in the end, the woman looks like a drenched mess. At most, two guys is fine, but I prefer one on one. My wife says this is because I’m a romantic. I have a feeling she’s being ironic.

But talking of my wife leads me to the next part of the facial journey and the one I get the biggest joy from. Eventually, as happens, what once existed only in the realm of the pornographic entered reality; the time came to ask an actual lover if coming on a face was something that could happen for real. It’s a hell of a thing to ask, the first time, because, there’s something so deliciously dirty about coming on someone’s face, something so illicit, it’s hard to know what the reaction will be. A slap on your own face, perhaps, followed by the slamming of a door? A look of utter revulsion or downright suspicion maybe?

Well, I guess I got lucky. The first girl I ever asked, hardly daring to hope, while fully expecting a black eye, was a bemused smile that quickly became a lascivious grin. The look became even more bemused when I asked if she would actually say the words—the words are really important to me— “Come on my face.” She shook her head, as if amused by the precociousness of a naughty child, and then took me by the hand to the bedroom, where she proceeded to take me in her mouth. The anticipation of what I knew was about to happen was almost so much I came right there and then, but I managed to hold back and enjoy the blowjob. Eventually, my partner felt my growing excitement, the tension in my body, and began saying the words, “Come on my face… please… please come on my face.” To be honest, the “please”—which I wasn’t expecting—almost killed me, but not quite, and it was with utter, joyful abandon that I emptied by balls over that grinning face … and in doing so putting my feet on a path I would never want to leave.

Knowing that it can actually happen doesn’t make it any less difficult to broach the subject with new partners, but for the most part I have been fortunate and have found myself in happy, open-minded relationships where I am able to ask for these things. I am especially fortunate that my wife loves to oblige me in what she considers to be my only sexual oddity (she shares my love for role play and dressing up, so that doesn’t count), and the sly pleasure she gets from how, even now, I can still feel quite shy about wanting to do it. For my own part I prefer to save the facial for certain moments. Coming on my partner’s face all the time would take the pleasure out of it, would make it mundane—and I want to always feel the thrill when, in the heat of the moment, I can whisper in my wife’s ear, “Say the words,” and she will squeeze me tight and whisper into mine, “Please…” and the world around me begins to glow. It is, in essence, a moment of connection for us, a moment of trust, where my, let’s say, weirder proclivities are embraced and accepted, and that is something deeply special.

There are those who think it’s nasty. Coming on your partner’s face is demeaning to her and to women in general, they think. But, here’s the thing; even though I will admit that, yes, there is a certain amount of ‘dominance play’ in coming on your partner’s face—after all, they have to kneel down for it, which in no uncertain terms adds a further frisson of illicit pleasure—the fact of the matter is, that whenever a man goes down on a woman, if your face doesn’t come up from between her legs absolutely soaking in her juices, then you’re doing it wrong. Cunnilingus, if you know what you’re about, basically means having a woman come all over your face. So, to some extent, we could call fair’s fair. But who wants to make it about that? Coming on my partner’s face is my own personal playful perversion—I don’t care how many other people in the world are into it—it is part of who I am, and she accepts it, as I accept the things that she likes that make her who she is.

And now I really need to go and hear those words …

Jack Carrer for BaDoink.com

Image courtesy of Shutterstock
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October 29, 2014