Category: Sex Ed

Top 10 SEX TOYS: Dildos, Vibrators, and Butt Plugs, Oh My!

There are oodles and oodles of different kinds of sex toys on the market today … which ones should you try, where do you even begin? And what is a ball gag??? When you initially begin to explore the world of sex toys it can be daunting, especially if you are not quite sure what you are looking for or what you or your partner would even enjoy. In addition, accurate and useful information about toys can be hard to come by; sometimes you just have to take the manufacturer’s word for it which may not be helpful to you. This article is meant to be a general guide to (my) top ten sex toys, which as you will see is really my top seventeen-ish sex toys (I couldn’t pick just ten!). All of these toys are in no particular ranked order, although you may be able to figure out some of my preferences from the list I have generated.

Before we begin, let me be up front about this list; this is not an exhaustive list by any means and many unique toys (like toys that are supposed to simulate oral sex for instance) may not be represented, but it doesn’t mean that they are any less fun than the toys that are highlighted. In addition, these are just general names for toys, any sex toy purchasing (or creating) consumer should be mindful of the materials that are used in the toys they are using on themselves and their partner(s). Materials such as glass, wood, and some silicones are totally safe, but there are some toys made of plastics and other materials that contain parabens and it is not safe to expose yourself to these over long periods of time. Parabens are commonly used as a kind of preservative or bactericidal in hundreds of products we use every day such as cosmetics and toothpastes. However, some research has shown that they may be linked to cancer. Sometimes you can get away with toys that are made of different plastics that may have parabens in cases when they are not meant to be used internally, like paddles for example. Just being mindful and informed about what you are purchasing may prevent scary health concerns. Without further ado … the sex toy list!

1. Vibrators
There is a plethora of vibrators out there such as bullets, rabbits, and larger dildos that vibrate. The bullets are generally smaller and are primarily for external use and can be put on a variety of vibrating speeds and patterns for your pleasure. Rabbits and other dildo vibrators are often used to penetrate and there is the extra bonus of good vibrations!

2. Dildos

There are all kinds of dildos ranging from the small ones to large ones, ones with wider girths and they all are made of different materials—glass, wood, silicone, even stainless steel. Some look like animals, some are double ended and others are meant to resemble an actual penis. A good rule to keep in mind when considering if a dildo will fit in either you or your partner is the two finger rule; typically the width of your index finger and middle finger together is a good gauge to determine the width of a dildo that would fit comfortably.

3. Strap-ons

Strap-ons refer to a dildo placed in a harness that you can wear around your waist (like putting on underwear or shorts) that you can use to penetrate your partner. Again, a wide range of dildos can typically fit into a harness to make a strap-on. Male-bodied and female-bodied individuals can wear a strap-on or be penetrated by one; male-bodied individuals can use one to double penetrate their female-bodied partners.

4. Anal toys (beads and butt plugs)

Anal beads are usually a string of silicone beads that are all attached and can be used in a variety of ways. Some individuals like to put all the beads in and pull them out either quickly or slowly. Be careful with any anal toys that do not have a flanged base (butt plugs are flanged); otherwise they may become stuck in your partner’s anus if you let go of those toys, which would not be good! Butt plugs are great for that double penetration (without the thrusting) feel while giving the sensation of fullness at the same time. Other anal toys include prostate simulators that can be used on male-bodied individuals to stimulate their prostates which can lead to more intense orgasms.

5. Paddles/floggers

These toys are super fun for the masochist in your life who likes to be spanked or flogged (that person may be you!). Paddles can be made of wood, plastic, leather etc. and floggers can be made of leather or horse hair, I have even seen floggers made out of electric cables. Some people may disagree with how I put paddles and floggers together in my list, but generally paddles and floggers can hit a larger surface of the body and provide more of a “thud” upon contact which some people may prefer over a crop for example. If you have never used a paddle or flogger before, go slow and frequently check in with the person you are using the toy on to make sure they are finding it pleasurable during the first few times you use it. If they aren’t, listen to their direction about how to make it better (their direction may also be to tell you to stop using the paddle or flogger on them, which is okay too).

6. Crops/whips

Crops and whips often cause a more piercing or “sharp” pain when they come in contact with your skin when your partner uses a crop on the backs of your legs or across your butt. Similarly to floggers, crops and whips can be made out of leather materials or hides of animals like cowhide or bullhide. Again, be careful when first getting accustomed to using a whip or crop properly and check in with your partner as you explore. Some whips have long tails so make sure that you have enough room to use the whips too.

7. Handcuffs/bondage tape

Handcuffs and other forms of bondage, like rope or bondage tape (that only sticks to itself and nothing else, like your sheets or your skin) can be great fun! Handcuffs can be made of plastic or metal and other bondage materials could be rope, zip ties, neck ties or even other articles of clothing or accessories around your home. Again, make sure you and your partner are checking in with each other about if you/they still want to be tied up. Sometimes planning out or contracting about how long you/your partner will be tied up for can relieve some anxiety about being tied up. Safe words could be helpful when playing around with bondage, if you/your partner uses the decided upon safe word, it’s time to untie them.

8. (Ball) Gags

Gags are commonly made of leather of other flexible materials and there usually is some sort of buckle in the back so the gag stays tight around your face and mouth without being too tight or too loose. Gags can also be household items too, like a scarf. However, be careful that the gag you use is not suffocating your partner or severely limiting their air intake. Safe gestures, instead of safe words, may be useful when using gags, as your partner may not be able to clearly verbalize a safe word. Instead, they may hold up a fist or an open palm to alert you that they need to be checked in with.

9. Blindfolds

Blindfolds can be great for sensory deprivation to heighten arousal for your partner, so they don’t quite know where you will kiss or touch them next. Blindfolds can be something as simple as a scarf or neck tie covering your eyes or it could be a blindfold that you purchase that is perhaps made of leather or can be securely tied around your head so it does not slip off during play. Safe words can be helpful when using blindfolds so you know when to relieve your partner.

10. Cock rings

Cock rings can be used to prolong a male-bodied person’s erection during play time; they can be made out of plastic, silicone or metal. Word to the wise though, be cautious about using cock rings the first few times as some of them may be challenging to take off, depending on the materials used.

Now that you have a little bit of background information about sex toys, go out and try some of these on yourself! You can make your own sex toys using simple products at home (like tying up your partner with a neck tie or a scarf; safely and consensually of course), go to your closest sex toy shop to explore in person or purchase toys online. Once you have brought your toys home, be sure to take good care of them: wash them after each use and store them in a safe, dry area. Do be extra careful and make sure that silicone toys aren’t stored with other silicone toys or lube as these may ruin the toys and you definitely would not like that to happen. Now, go have fun!

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October 1, 2014
Everyone’s Got a Thing

Everyone’s got a thing. It could be something as mild as a particular brand of fragrance or as hardcore weird as wanting your partner to be entirely wrapped in cold, wet spaghetti while they pleasure you (I have no evidence that anyone does the spaghetti thing so photos would be welcome). The point is, whatever it may be, all of us have something that really gets us going.

In my case, it’s lingerie, specifically stockings and suspenders. Just writing the words has caused an involuntary ripple of desire in my bloodstream. In the grand old scheme of turn-ons, a pair of sheer stockings and a suspender belt is probably something of a classic. I’m okay with that; I’m a classic kind of guy. As an extra frisson, I’ll sometimes ask my partner to select a hand—one containing a black chess piece, the other containing a white—and depending on the color chosen, she will either play it innocently (white) or vampishly (black). I like both.

My partner tells me that I’m the first man who’s ever specifically asked her to wear such items, but also that she is very happy that I did, if only for the look on my face when she wears them for me.

So what is it exactly about stockings and suspenders that float my longboat? Is it perhaps because I’m British? There’s definitely an argument for that; they have been an icon of naughtiness in the UK (or UK-lite as the case may be after the vote on Scottish independence) for as long as I can remember, from the cheeky school uniform of the bad girls of the classic St. Trinians films to the wild fantasies of what lies below the uniforms of policewomen and nurses (perhaps in no small part thanks to the likes of Benny Hill and the old Carry On films). Maybe it’s the combination of stockings and suspenders with any kind of uniform, indicating that strange sexual pull towards authoritarianism that many Brits appear to share. Perhaps that explains Margaret Thatcher.

So, yes, I’d say that this may have a little to do with why I love S&S (their place in British popular culture, I mean; not on the Iron Lady’s gnarly proletariat-stompers); at least in terms of how they buried themselves into my consciousness during my formative years. That said, however they may have gotten into my head, it’s certainly not love of country that comes to mind when my partner strips down to reveal them (it’s not Queen Lizzy II for whom I’m upstanding). That’d just be plain weird, although, like we said at the beginning, everybody’s got a thing.

In the end, it comes down to aesthetics. The lines. Yeah, I’m going there … the artistic route! That and the probably-quite-key fact that above all else I am what is commonly known as … an ass man. And, boy, there is nothing that frames a beautiful bum (and my partner has a bea-u-ti-ful bum) like a pair of stockings and suspenders, the heady color contrast between material and flesh tones. They accentuate those two magical ovoid globes; they draw the eye to the greatest of peaches like a naked flame draws a moth. The strap of each suspender, connecting belt to stocking and clinging tightly to the curve of the backside, gracefully draws the gentle rounded arc of each wonderful cheek; the naturally designed triangle of the belt above the strap and the pulled triangle of a taut stocking top below serves even further to mark that sweet roundedness. Circles within circles … is there anything more universal? More hypnotic?

Not for me, clearly. Then again, if you’re into spaghetti…

Jack Carrer for BaDoink.com

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September 30, 2014
5 Things You Should Know About Going Down On Your Lady

Ah, the vagina. That mysterious piece of art between a woman’s legs. Few men dare to venture their faces too close, and those that do, regretfully, don’t quite know what they’re doing down there. Fortunately, I’m here to shed some light on this magical unicorn of sexual pleasure. Starting with…

1) It’s not an all you can eat buffet.

The goal here is not to plunge your face in and gobble up everything in sight. This isn’t some cheap Chinese buffet—it’s a delicate, gourmet meal. Start out slowly. Even foreplay needs a little foreplay, and everyone likes a little tease. Start out with little kisses leading the way, or just barely brush her clit with your tongue to get her warmed up. No need to dive right in; you are a respectable gentleman, not a cocker spaniel.

2) NO TEETH.

For some absurd reason, a few of the guys who I’ve had the unfortunate luck to sleep with think it feels good when they rub their teeth on my clit, or use their teeth as part of the “experience”. Now, I don’t speak for the entirety of women here, but it stands to reason that if you don’t want my teeth digging into your cock, then don’t be digging yours into my clitoris. Seriously, that shit hurts. Tongue and lips only, please!

3) Use your fingers!

We women are extremely lucky in that we have two main spots of pleasure in our genitals. One, the clitoris, which hopefully at this point you’re taking care of with your tongue and mouth. But often, a world of pleasure is ignored when you don’t use your fingers on the g-spot. Pleasure her orally for a little, get her nice and wet, and then slide two fingers inside her all the way and move your fingers up and down. It’s a win-win situation ; it’ll feel amazing for her, and you won’t end up with lockjaw ’cause she’ll come way faster.

[Side note : Please trim your nails before attempting any penetration of a vagina with your fingers.]

4) Don’t be afraid to suck.

By this, I don’t mean don’t be afraid to be awful at cunnilingus. Be very afraid of that.

What I’m talking about in this case is actually using a little sucking action on her clit.

My absolute favourite move, and one that I’ve only just recently experienced, is having the guy suck my clit into his mouth (LIPS ONLY. See #2.) and while sucking, run his tongue over and around it. Absolute perfection! Don’t be afraid to add a little suction action to your repertoire of pussy-eating skills. If your lady is anything like me, she’ll love it—and maybe return the favor. And I’m almost positive you won’t mind having a little suction action on your cock, right?

5) When in doubt, ask.

So, the time is here, you’re “headed downtown for some lunch”, your face is buried in an all you can eat pussy buffet … and you’re getting nothing. Not a moan, not a squeak. What are you doing wrong?

Well, the only sure fire way to find out is to ask. I’ve had guys go down on me who didn’t have the slightest inkling what I liked; and it’s not like they were going to read my mind to find out. Every woman is different, we all like slight variations on the traditional pussy-eating technique. So simply ask. “Do you like it when I do this?” “How do you like it baby?” Most of the time, you’ll get a very specific answer. We know what we like and for the most part, we’re not afraid to tell you. We will literally give you a map to the Kingdom of Orgasms—you just have to follow it. Easy, right?

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September 29, 2014
3 Tips to be a Sex Pro

Sex can be a very confusing but wonderful thing if you know what you are doing. Here I have compiled a list of tips to make you successful in the bedroom. These 3 simple easy steps can turn you from an average joe into a sex pro!

1. Learn the human anatomy. Males and females all have erogenous zones. These zones are places you want to touch to increase pleasure to your partner. Learning all these areas can help decrease tension and increase arousal. These zones are located all over a person’s body, some in plain sight such as the neck, and some in hidden areas like the clitoris under the clitoral hood. Foreplay is the foundation for an orgasm. Sometimes excitement makes you want to just jump right into it, but foreplay and a little bit of teasing goes a long way.

2. Communication. Knowing all these erogenous zones would be nothing without knowing how to communicate with your partner. Everyone has a preference on how they like certain things. Some people have sensitive organs and some people don’t. Some people prefer rough sex and some people prefer soft (vanilla) sex. It is all dependent on that person and without communicating, things can get lost in translation and a good time can become a not so amazing experience.

3. Experiment. You would be surprised what kind of niches/fetishes you may be into. Without experimenting, you will never know what it is like to try something new. Be open minded and have fun. Spicing things up can be a breathe of fresh air sometimes.

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September 28, 2014
Top 3 Conditions Needed for a Good Sexual Experience

Necessary conditions for a good sexual experience. Promising title, no?

Well, as things often go, you might just end up getting something else than what you were expecting, but not always for the worse.

So what are the necessary conditions for a good sexual experience? Adequate levels of sexual desire for both participants? Being really aroused & wet? Having a (partner with) a larger than average penis? Orgasm(s)? Mood and lighting? Scented candles? Or perhaps Barry White?

Taking this approach to such a general question would lead us nowhere. Why? Because there is no such thing as ‘the right way to sexually stimulate women or men’, just the right way to stimulate that particular woman or that single man. If we were to ask a 100 people what they would need to have a good sexual experience, we would wind up with a 100 personal sexual guide books. To make matters worse, each of them would almost be completely useless as a guide to a good sexual experience for any other person. At best, one could read each other’s guide as a source of inspiration. If you’re in a committed partner relationship, this might be an enlightening exercise for the both of you!

So how then can we say something useful about the necessary conditions for having a pleasant sexual experience? This is done so by taking a broad approach. In sexological literature, you will find three conditions that have to be met to be able to have a good, pleasant, or satisfying sexual experience.

1. An intact & functioning sexual system

Sex, more specifically sexual arousability, requires certain areas of your brain sending signals traveling through several nerve bundles to various parts of your body and vice versa. If one of the links in this chain of information-sharing is malfunctioning, the entire system is put under stress, sometimes even making certain aspects of sexual experiences impossible. One’s nervous system, one’s endocrine system, one’s genitalia, one’s hands, lips, tongue, and also, one’s eyes, one’s nose, ears, and skin need to be intact and functioning, at least up to a certain level.

In other words: one needs to be able to register internal and external sexual stimuli—fantasies or desires, seeing a beautiful man or woman, feeling someone lightly brush by your neck—and all internal systems and organs that play a part in the elicited sexual response need to be intact.

2. Good sexual stimuli

Ok. Let’s assume you have an intact & functioning sexual system.
So you’re at home, sitting in your comfy chair attentively waiting for your sexual system to switch on.

I hope your chair is really, really comfy …

Every system has its start-up requirements. Our sexual system is no different. It needs an input of sexual stimuli to get going and keep going. As said, these stimuli can be both internal (like thoughts or fantasies) & external (like speech, touch, scents or just seeing someone you find attractive, hot, sexy). Both can do the trick equally well. Most people have a general idea of which stimuli are the most gratifying for themselves.

For most of us happy enough to be in a partner relationship, we have the luck of having a large source of different types of stimuli at hand each day; our partner. He or she can be a source of sensual thoughts or fantasies, look really sexy dressing in the right way (or not at all) or he/she can simply light those scented candles you like so much.

For most of us, with or without partner, potential stimuli are in abundance. Potential stimuli, because, even when you’re exposed to a potentially good sexual stimulus, you still have to see it in a sexual way. One has to allow oneself to interpret a stimulus sexually and to give sexual meaning and thus sexual value to a stimulus. For instance, let’s say for the sake of argument that seeing a woman naked serves as a good stimulus: So, it’s Sunday morning, you’ve slept in, you’re relaxed with nothing on your mind, you walk into the bathroom and there she is, naked, breasts in full sight, sitting on the water closet. This could still be a stimulating situation but that entirely depends on the meaning ascribed to what is seen. Do you see her as sitting there doing her business or do you see her as sitting there, naked? The latter could jumpstart one’s sexual system whereas the former would probably do just about the opposite.

Hence, we need stimuli to get our sexual system going, but we have to see them as sexual stimuli first in order for them to have the desired effect.

3. The right context

So there you are. Stimuli in abundance. You’re really taking them up in a sexual way. You feel your sexual system warming up, creating a feeling that could develop into full blown sexual desire & arousal and …. you’re standing in the middle of a crowded town square / the baby just woke up and is wailing to be / there’s still loads of household work that need to be done/ you can’t help but think it wasn’t really good the last time.

Even when all other conditions are just right and a pleasant sexual experience is a real possibility, you still need the right context for the situation to go forward in the desired way.

When you feel your system’s started up and desire and arousal are building, the time and place have to be just right for you to be able to actually do something with those feelings. And again, not only do the time and place have to be right in a practical sense, you also have to feel that it’s a good time and place for sex. When your mind is elsewhere or occupied with non-sexual thoughts, even a potentially good context to act upon your desire could feel like it’s not really the ideal time or place for for some sexy time.

As such, what’s the use of thinking about sex in this way? Well, knowing about these three conditions: a functioning sexual system, sexual stimuli, and the right context can help you to understand why your sexual partner sometimes doesn’t feel like having sex while you’re ready to go or vice versa. In addition, understanding why you or your partner behave in a certain way can help you to deal with certain tense and tricky situations, and most importantly, prevent frustration from building up.

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September 26, 2014
How Masturbation Saved My Life

I know it sounds like an exaggeration – masturbation saved your life, woo, you know…. But this is actually really how I saw it. This is really how I felt in my core what masturbation did for me.

I didn’t always look the way I look now – with long hair, contact lenses on occasion, and with relatively acne-free complexion with an okay figure.

I started having my first period when I was in Primary 3, so that was then when I was eight, nine – way earlier than all my peers. Nobody was talking about menstruation when I had mine. I developed a lot of acne as result of hormones gone amok and, of course, with little knowledge about nutrition and diet and self care, I developed severe acne. I also needed glasses since I was 6. They were thick geeky looking glasses.

I started to swim as part of my extra curriculum activity (or after-school activities). As a result, I also developed bad hair, and worse skin, because of all that chlorine and hot sun. At that time, I just didn’t know how to protect my skin and neither did my parents. And I was swimming as much as three times a week – sometimes under direct noon sun!

My mom had this idea, “You two (my sister and I) will look cool if you go and perm your hair.” I ended up with wild unmanageable poodle-like hair. It was actually my teacher who asked me infront of the school why I went and got this poodle hair… and it stuck. Because of all the swimming I was doing, I ended up with spilt ends and had to chop the lot off. Mom actually convinced me to do this not once, but twice!

To this day, I am very weary of perming my hair. With baby fat, bad skin, geeky glasses, I became a a prime subject of bullying, called the ugliest girl in school, and was utterly miserable at school. There was one boy – he looks for me after school, and once he actually punched me in the arm. It doesn’t sound like a big deal now but back then, bullying was unheard of, and being punched in the arm by my classmate – somebody I see everyday, a boy no less, whom I considered bigger and stronger – was actually traumatic.

I felt very, very, very, ugly on the inside. My acne problem didn’t go away even all through puberty. Medication from skin doctors alleviated the problem but would return when I stopped treatment. There was no end at sight. I battled acne for a long time. I see now how it’s largely attributed to my diet and the sensitivity of my body.

Now, let’s not even talk about getting male attention. I had a lot of crushes. But no guy would never look twice at me because I looked and felt ugly. When people look at the me now, they ask, “What do you know about body image?” They have no idea where I’ve been! They have no idea how hard it was for me growing up – being called the ugliest girl in school, being punched in the arm, keeping my head down and just not trying to attract any attention whatsoever.

This is why masturbation saved my life. I was still too young to be able to articulate, or get, or have the confidence to seek out a romantic partner. I was eight when I had my first period! Even at 12, I still had baby fat. There were girls in school who at the ripe age of 12 already had boyfriends and I envied them. I suffered from low self-esteem and had my first boyfriend at 19. It was a long-distance relationship and lasted a year.

Masturbation helped me through my teenage angst because when I masturbated, feel-good hormones were released and relieved sexual tension within my body. It helped to balance out my mood swings. It was my private thing that I could return to. It was my sanctuary, and refuge. I knew how to get tension out of my body.

I was worried that because I masturbated, it would inhibit my relations with my future partners. I worried that my clitoris would become numb. I worried that I couldn’t have an orgasm in any other ways. But I didn’t know what I could do about my situation because I didn’t have a partner and couldn’t get one.

I didn’t know this until later on that being able to sexual by myself actually allows me to be more comfortable with my body and go on to being more relaxed when sexual with somebody else. Masturbation helps create neuroconnections between the mind and the body. With strong neuroconnections, it’s actually easier to get orgasms. And even when you masturbate in a particular way, your body is actually much more adaptable to learning how to have orgasms in different ways. Later on, when I became sexual, I was able to attain orgasm relatively easily with other partners.

All through the puberty, I did feel guilt and shame around masturbation even though I was not religious. I felt sad, even pathetic, because I don’t have a partner. While masturbation may bring up sadness if one doesn’t have a partner, I realise now it was better than the alternative – suppressing, repressing and shutting down my sexuality.

Masturbation is not a bad thing. It helps with hormonal balance, cramps, stress and tension. You can choose to express your sexuality by yourself , and learn about your body – even when you don’t have a partner. And even if you have a partner, it’s also okay to continue to learn about your body by expressing your sexuality by yourself.

Let go of your negative feelings around masturbation. Breathe.

This article has been republished with permission from Dr Martha Tara Lee. Please visit Dr Martha Tara Lee’s website to view original post and more of Dr Martha’s work.

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September 24, 2014
Top 10 Things Men Want From Women In Bed

Ever wonder how to please your man in bed?

Here’s a list of what men really want from their women underneath the sheets:

1. Women should be more interactive, in a way sometimes be more sexually aggressive to their man.

2. No star-fishing hoes. (don’t just lay there and get fucked)

3. Roll play with your man. It gets boring when we just do the same shit over and over.

4. Change up your scenario. Go to the backyard and get a tan while cumming, or bend over that oven. Maybe try anal? Who knows, you could love it, like that ring on your finger…

5. When’s the last time you gave your man road head? Think about it…

6. Make your own porn. Drop your insecurities and make a video with your man. We’re all adults here.

7. Ever thought about having sex with another female? Well, your man would fucking love to watch or be a part of that. Try it, you might just like it. I know sharing is hard but we’re not in kindergarten anymore.

8. Take your man to a strip club. Not the one by 7/11 though. Buy your man a lap dance and see how well he treats you after that. You’d be surprised.

9. Talk dirty, and I mean dirty. Bring out that inner slut you’ve bottled deep down inside you. Experiment with your body. There comes a time in everyone woman’s life where her man wants her to release that inner beast. We’re all humans, we all have demons, and we all have sick fantasies…

10. Finally, just give your man a blowjob once in awhile … and I don’t mean once a week. That released of pent up sexual frustration and anger will do you and your man a great deal. Believe me I know …

Well, hope this helps you out somehow 🙂

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September 23, 2014
The Truth About Erotica

Most of my friends know that I’m an erotica writer. I’m very proud of what I do and see no shame in telling people. However, what can get my goat is the various stigmas and myths which are still attached to the genre, despite living in the enlightened 21st century. Here are some of the myths I’ve had to compound.

Myth 1: All erotica are daddy porn and rape fantasies.

Yes, incest (or, at the very least, stepfather/stepmother) and rape (or again, at the very least, reluctance) fantasies play a huge role in erotica. Then again, so do BDSM, supernatural creatures and threesomes. From the very vanilla to the completely depraved, if you can imagine it, someone has written about it. And why not? There’s obviously a market for those themes. Let’s just not get into thinking that there are only two types of erotica. After all, there is no limit to our imaginations.

Myth 2: Erotica is just porn for women.

No, no, no, no, no. For starters, studies have apparently shown that women get just as turned on if not more, as men when it comes to visual stimuli. So to suggest that porn is for men and erotica is for women is just enforcing stereotypes. Men can derive just as much pleasure from reading erotica as women can. Of course watching porn is easier, but erotica provides much more scope for the imagination. And there’s also the added benefit of reading it with your partner to get ideas …

Myth 3: “Oh, you write erotica. That means you write fan fiction, yeah?”

I loathe this. Mainly because I hate any kind of fan fiction: in my opinion, it’s lazy writing. This view is not helped by the fact that one of erotica’s most well-known writers started out writing erotic Twilight fan fiction (E.L. James, in case you’ve been living in a cave) which led to the mega successful 50 Shades. Fan fiction makes up a very small percentage of all erotica. Of course, I can see the attraction of imagining your favourite actor, singer or whatever in various sexual situations (candlelit bath with Benedict Cumberbatch, anyone?). But most of us are happier creating our own characters.

So there, we have three common myths about erotica debunked. Remember, keep an open mind when reading erotica. It’s a lot more varied than you think and, you never know, you may discover some hidden desires.

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September 22, 2014
20 Best Songs to Have Sex to!

Hello ! I’m Annette Worth; adult film actress, disc jockey’ dancer, and a Scorpio.
There are many ways to spice up your sex life and music is definitely one of these. Putting on the correct song that fits the mood can change an intimate moment from vanilla-ish to sensual and sexy. Different situations call for different types of romp-tracks and here is a playlist of the top 20 songs for 2014 that I have picked just for you:

Romantic songs are perfect for those candlelit dinners as you indulge in those languish nights:

Wish & Fonda Rae | Touch me all night long
Donald Byrd | Love has come around
Candido | thousand finger man
Paula Cole | Feelin love

Wild tunes to build up the heat for a threesome sexy romp:

Bad Boy Bill | Everybody
Benny Banassi | Able to Love
Frankie Knuckles | I’ve had enough
Deadmaus5 | Moar Ghosts ‘n’ Stuff (part 2)

Kink it up with that leather whip and a lil smack:

Ministry | Everyday is Halloween
Revolting cocks | Da Ya Think I’m Sexy
My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult | Waiting for Mommie
Bauhaus | Bela Lugosi’s Dead.

Quickie for that darn hot chick you’ve just met in the club:

The Prodigy | Smack My Bitch Up
Aphex Twin | Windowlicker
Awolnation | Sail
Skatt Bros | Walk The Night

Make up sex when who is in the right or wrong no longer matters:

Chris Isaak | Baby Did a Bad Bad Thing
Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds | Red Right Hand
Lenord Cohen | I’m Your Man
Tricky | Overcome

Well that pretty much sums it up. So put in a lil effort and have these tracks ready the next time you have sex ! Special thanks to the Crazy Legs of Rock Steady Crew NYC! Check out his website http://crazylegsworkshop.com/ and twitter account @CrazylegsRSC.

Sheena Carector can be found on Facebook; twitter @Annetworth; LinkedIn and email annetworth@gamail.com

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September 21, 2014
What is a Hotwife?

I get asked all the time what a Hotwife is? Let me start by putting it very simply, Freedom. Freedom is readily available for the Hotwife who is in stable relationship with a Cuckold husband. I have complete control in deciding whom I wish to have sex with and when I have sex with them. My Cuckold husband has no control in whom I fuck or when I fuck other men. He actually wears the panties in the family! That’s the way our Hotwife Cuckold relationship is.

I was always a nasty girl who liked to fuck and wanted to be with numerous men (boredom with same cock comes quickly for me) but society looks at this as wrong way. Our current culture says I am a slut or whore because I love to fuck lots of men.

I always knew I had deep sexual desires to fuck as many men as possible. Again, society says I am a dirty little slut for feeling and acting this way. Guess what now I am proud to say “I am a dirty little Slut” and I love it.

When my husband first told me he wanted to share me with other men, it confused me and scared me and I thought this must be wrong even though deep down, I loved the idea. Society says having what you want sexually is wrong. Who makes these rules anyway? For a Hotwife, you are allowed and encouraged to fuck other men, how liberating. Why should we listen to what society says about how we are supposed to live our lives. Isn’t it your life to live? As long as both husband and wife are in agreement with the situation and it heightens the relationship, I say go for it!

In the beginning we would go to regular bars and clubs to find other men.

It was very hard in the beginning to find other men to fuck; I think I scared them with my aggressiveness and the whole situation. We were still figuring out our boundaries.

We started going to swingers clubs and it became much easier to find lots of guys to fuck! The men at swingers clubs understand what is happening and are not frightened that my husband is right there.

My cuckold does not take other women but he is allowed to fuck me almost daily. He loves watching me get fucked and it is the highlight of his week when he gets to clean a fresh creampie out of my pussy. We talk about what turns us on and what our boundaries are, since this does change as you progress in the Hotwife Cuckold relationship. At first, I wanted him in the same room while I fucked another man and did not feel completely comfortable being alone with another man. This stemmed from wondering what my little cuckold was doing while I was not with him. This was my own insecurity and ignorance of our situation. As timed passed, I understood that my cuckold husband was just sitting like a little schoolboy waiting to eat my fucked pussy like it was an afterschool snack!

The highlights of this relationship for me are the feeling of being like a princess. Who wouldn’t feel like a princess when you have more than one man wanting to please you as many times as you will allow. I love the freedom to choose who I want to fuck. Variety is the spice of life and how true that is, I can have a man who is short, tall, well built, young or from any ethnic background I choose. I get a new sexy Hotwife outfit to go out in every weekend.

It is an awesome feeling when your husband points out a man that he thinks you might be attracted to or wants to see you in bed with. It is the type of love where you know that there is nothing that will separate the two of you and no matter what, you always go home or come home to your Cuckold husband.

Read on as I share an experience over the Labor Day weekend with two different men on page 2!

September 19, 2014