Being friends with and/or supporting sex workers shouldn’t need a guide. It should be no different from being friends with a dentist or a firefighter. Unfortunately, however, the masses are generally uneducated on how to deal with their relationships with sex workers and therefore, often make mistakes that make us cringe. But, alas! I am here to bring you a useful guide, so that hopefully you will not make the same mistakes and understand that being part of our world will be no different than being friends with said dentist or firefighter.
The first mistake I often see people making is talking over me. “I’m friends with, or know someone who is, a sex worker, so listen to all my knowledge about it!” That’s never a good idea. It would be like someone crying for help because his heart wasn’t working right, and me walking up and saying, “Don’t worry, I know a doctor! I can help you!” I would not pretend to know about a profession I was not part of, yet sex workers are talked over constantly by people who have never lived a day in our shoes.
The next thing is: don’t ever out me. Now, I spend a lot of time talking about how I’m outted to everyone. I wear sex worker support shirts, stickers, tell people if they ask what I do for a living. “Yeah, I work at an arcade, and I also take nude photos and sexy videos.” That’s just me, and it certainly isn’t the majority of sex workers I know. Not even close. Nor does that mean I want my friends telling people I’m a sex worker before I do. It’s just rude. Don’t do it. Not only could you possibly be endangering your friend’s life, but you are once again speaking over us. Let us do the talking. We have voices, even if the media portrays us like we don’t.
Which brings me to my next point. I don’t want you to “save me.” I’m not friends with you, or acquaintances with you, or someone you reblog from Tumblr occasionally, so that you can try to “pull me out” of my career path. Attempting to convince me I can “have it better” is some of the most offensive commentary I receive. And I receive it a lot. I’ve had people told me that they’d be there for me when I realized it’s too emotionally draining being a sex worker.
Never have I once claimed it was, but they took it upon themselves to make that assumption about what I was doing. A person I’ve known for six years informed me that sex work would make me lose faith in love. Never have I once lost faith in love because of what I do. I’m happily in a supportive relationship and she must know that, because it’s right there on my Facebook. The assumption that I would have to develop a coping mechanism to do what I do is something pushed and pushed by the media. And while it may be true for some girls, (I have, after all, witnessed girls who get drunk every time they do their jobs just to be able to cope) assuming it’s true for all of us is a bit mind-boggling. I would never be able to do what a doctor does—to be able to tell people they’re going to die, to look at their insides, to have peoples’ lives in my hands—but do I create stereotypes for doctors due to my inability to even comprehend doing what they do? Of course I don’t.
The most important thing you can do, whether you’re close friends with a sex worker or you just follow them on a social media website, is communicate with them. Find out about us as individual sex workers. Spread awareness for sex worker rights. Support us, while giving us a voice. I am tired of being silenced, and it’s usually, sadly, by feminists, who think they can, as mentioned above, “save” me. As a feminist myself, it’s tormenting to see such stuff said about my profession constantly. And do any of them actually speak to us? Or stop talking over us for two seconds in order to get our take? Of course they don’t.
The most useful piece of advice you can take from this guide is: listen to us.
Image courtesy of Shutterstock
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I LOVE squirt. I LOVE getting off by clitoral stimulation/sensation and vibrators just make it even more fun. The Hitachi is my favorite! I love the way it makes me feel and squirt. I like to tease my lower abdomen and slowly bring down around my vaginal area and then of course, press it against my clit, hard. After a while, I’ll turn up the speed and next thing I know, I’m on the cum cloud squirting my ass off! I love it even better when I have a sexy stud fucking me and I have the Hitachi right on my clit and I squirt like crazy! Ahhhh, I’m even getting turned on just writing about it! Lol!
You need to adopt ultra-feminine behaviour. To help with this, I usually make my girls watch films based on the lives of transvestites first. A quick search on Google will pull up quite a few. This is just so you can see what it generally is like. Keeping a diary also helps by keeping those emotions at the forefront of your mind. Women are generally more emotional than men so this conditions the mind to become more feminine. It also helps to choose ‘womanly’ activities over the more stereotypical male ones. Maybe take up a form of dancing, or fashion design or baking is another popular option. It is also considered wise to remain in chastity whilst training. A number of devices can be purchased if this is required.
3. Beauty
had brilliant fashion sense when they came to me. Others, sadly, did not and required much effort on my part to become what they are today. It is good to start with the undergarments. I think some nice pieces of lingerie such as satin panties or a lace bra really make you feel feminine. But ultimately, you are going to want to compact the panties and fill the bras. Breastforms are something you wear to shape your bras and provide breasts without the need for surgery. They also come in different sizes which is very useful. Vee strings are something I learnt about more recently but basically, they enable the wearer to tuck away any ‘unladylike’ parts whilst allowing the user to pee sitting down like a lady. Some of my girls have even employed the use of a waist trainer to accentuate that desired feminine waist. Ultimately you want to choose the best style for your body shape. Styling for your body shape takes time, practice and lots of effort. Shoes are the ultimate feminine weapon. The beauty of a high-heel never goes unnoticed but again, walking in these can take time, practice and effort. This is something you definitely have to practice. I advise to start with a low heel and work your way up to the desired height.