Ever wondered what really happens on a hot girls’ night out? Meet Juliet Adelaide and her friends in The Secret Life of a Hotwife as they drive into the sassy world in this no-holds barred account of a hotwife’s lifestyle, and uncover all you’ve ever wanted to know, from the sensual and provocative to the risque and unspeakable.
Based on the steamy real-life experience of Juliet Adelaide, author of The Mrs Sexy Chronicles, this exclusive first-hand account of her exploration of sexual freedom and insight into the life of a hotwife will leave you begging for more.
Chapter 14 Teaser – Safety
Julie posed a question about how to handle men who say they hate condoms or won’t use them. Kristin said just don’t fuck them. That’s one way of course but I had dealt with this a few times myself. I found a compromise that usually made men happy. I would inform lovers that they have to use a condom for intercourse but if they preferred to cum elsewhere on me, they could. A few of my lovers Mark, Robbie and Tanner preferred this. Have fun with foreplay, fuck me, and then remove the condom when they are nearing orgasm. I would stroke them or they would stroke themselves to cum on my face, my ass, my boobs, whatever their personal preference. Kristin said that she doesn’t like that because it seems degrading to her. I told them that I really enjoy it. It makes me feel sexy and I get a different view of the male orgasm. Julie agreed with me. She liked it too and told us that it felt empowering in a way despite the fact that the idea seemed degrading. It’s all dependent on talking to your sexual partner. If you can’t talk openly with them about all factors in your sex life as a couple, it probably won’t last long as a relationship.
One of the other factors was to protect against pregnancy with condom use as well. I had my tubes tied some months back, but most women, hotwives or not, need to protect themselves. Julie told us that she’s on the pill and used condoms with the men she’s been with. Unwanted pregnancies were her primary reason for using condoms. The men she saw tended to be boyfriends but none of them were father material in her mind and that was her greatest fear. You can’t always trust men when they say they’re clean and that they always pull out in time to make sure you don’t get pregnant. Michelle laughed. Her daughter was conceived on a night that her husband pulled out. They used to just do that as birth control some years ago. She told us how she was shocked to find out she was pregnant but her doctor informed her that pre-cum can contain sperm and even a bit at the entrance to the vagina can in fact make its way up and fertilize a woman’s eggs. Her husband has since gotten a vasectomy but she definitely agreed that she didn’t know how risky pulling out was as a birth control method.
Juliet Adelaide has a Bachelor’s degree in Humanities and Culture from Arizona State University. She started dating her husband at the age of 17 and they were monogamous for 25 years. They are a devoted couple who only recently opened their marriage to new sexual experiences allowing Juliet to become a hotwife.
“mrs Sexy” is the witty, erotic and true story of her experiences with this new polyamorous lifestyle. Juliet, (aka Mrs Sexy), takes you through the most personal moments of her romantic and sexual adventures.
My personality and style as a professional disciplinarian is really no different from my own. I am told I have an assertive style, and that I exude a natural air of authority. I am perceptive generally, and enjoy a meeting of the minds – I love to unpick a person and to find out what really makes them tick. I am firm but fair, very honest, and love to be engaged in interesting conversation about pretty much any topic; I am insatiably curious about people, and the world we live in. I approach people from a place of kindness and a desire to meet their needs (not always their ‘wants’!). Sometimes (often), kindness means a very sore bottom. 🙂
I have a bit of a wicked sense of humour and will often laugh with my bottoms in session. Depending on the type of session, you might catch a little joyous gleam, an evil laugh, or at the very least a mischievous twinkle in my eye. I absolutely adore my work as a disciplinarian.
Inspiration For A Coaching & Discipline Programme
I have always seen the potential of corporal punishment and discipline to help those with the requisite wiring to achieve their goals. While I conduct many different types of sessions, including role play and cathartic release/relaxation, I found increasingly that as I got to know my bottoms, there were areas in their lives that they wanted some help with. It made sense to use my role as an authority figure to help keep them accountable with the changes and goals we’d agreed on.
Creating programmes for them to hold these goals together, and to create a path to success was an easy extra step. I have a pretty broad and deep knowledge base in a wide variety of disciplines, including personal training, health, coaching and lifestyle change, so it was an absolutely natural fit and an extension of my existing skills and expertise to link these to discipline.
Reasons Clients Take Up The Programme
They are incredibly varied, but I’ve worked with clients to help them with stopping smoking, weight loss, various fitness goals, dietary changes, reducing alcohol consumption – even helping with unpacking shame around kink, and helping bottoms to feel more comfortable with who they are.
The scope is pretty much limitless – I create a framework with the person, break those goals down into realistic and achievable chunks, and then track them. Consequences for failure, and rewards for success depend on the individual’s preferences – and ultimately, of course, are at my discretion.
Does Being Punished Create An Incentive?
That’s always a bit of a minefield to manage. I have certainly had experiences with masochists who have attempted to engineer a punishment purposefully. However, this can be managed with creating punishments that are absolutely not fun for the individual (for example, corner time, non-spanking or refusal of session time, line-writing etc).
I will always remind an individual that ultimately, it is their goal, and their wish to achieve it that provides the motivation – they only sabotage themselves in their desire for punishment. For a masochist, therefore, a reward can be a punishment-themed session. It’s complicated, but it works as long as I have a grasp of the psychology of the individual – happily, to date, this has been an arrangement that works well.
Advantages Of The Programme
The advantages are the same as any vanilla coaching programme – the client has a coach in their corner, working with them to keep them accountable, with the added bonus of being able to leverage a predilection for punishment to drive change. For someone with a spanking or corporal punishment fetish, the underlying drive is wanting to please, and absolutely never wanting to disappoint the person they allow to wield authority over them. This is incredibly powerful and effective. You get the best of all worlds; a coach helping you, an authority figure motivating you and inspiring you to keep your promises to her, and a corporal punishment session that will either align with deeply-held fantasies, or provide the sharp and unpleasant shock required to get you back on track. The combination of goals with corporal punishment really is a match made in heaven.
In terms of choosing to do a programme with me – well, as I’ve alluded to previously, I’ve got an excellent and highly relevant knowledge base that gives me the ability to give clients specialised input. Additionally, I have my own gym which I will use for clients for fitness testing etc for that extra level of accountability. From a corporal punishment perspective, I’ve got a reputation for not taking prisoners. You’ll get disciplined, and you’ll know about it.
What To Expect Prior To Starting The Programme
You need to be realistic – if you actually just want to be punished, then apply for a session and we can do that. If you genuinely want to change one or a few aspects of your life, then apply for a programme. I invest in your well-being and success, so it’s important that you do too. You need to have a clear idea of what you want to achieve, and for those goals to be based in reality. You also need to be able to attend the sessions regularly to make the programme work. Generally, I work on the basis of a monthly session for programmes. How you report in will vary with your budget and the types of goals you’re pursuing.
While you may have a fantasy of a super-strict disciplinarian who will mercilessly thrash you for any indiscretion, that really isn’t the best way to achieve change. I’ll work with you to make sure you are consistent. Punishments and consequences will be discussed and made very clear. I will encourage you, support you, and respect you as a human being who cannot be perfect, but I will also hold you accountable. I’ve helped many people achieve things they didn’t believe they could; you are no different!
Miss Haldane – A highly educated, intelligent and intuitive disciplinarian. Based near Birmingham, UK, she offers both in person and online sessions, providing a professional disciplinary service for suitable applicants; a safe space for them to be who they want to be, and to explore and express their long-held disciplinary needs and fantasies. Sessions vary from role play, to cathartic release, to structured goals and accountability coaching programmes – whichever direction they take, they are tailored to the individual, and crafted at the hands of a lady who truly ‘gets’ – and loves – CP.
Ever wondered what really happens on a hot girls’ night out? Meet Juliet Adelaide and her friends in The Secret Life of a Hotwife as they drive into the sassy world in this no-holds barred account of a hotwife’s lifestyle, and uncover all you’ve ever wanted to know, from the sensual and provocative to the risque and unspeakable.
Based on the steamy real-life experience of Juliet Adelaide, author of The Mrs Sexy Chronicles, this exclusive first-hand account of her exploration of sexual freedom and insight into the life of a hotwife will leave you begging for more.
Chapter 13 Teaser – Sex Brings Emotion
Julie brings up a friend of hers that is in a polyamorous relationship. She thinks it sounded like things were going well for a time between me, Scott and Mark, we almost had a polyamorous thing going on. She says that her friends seemed quite happy. They are a two-women and one man set-up who all live together. Sometimes they have sex together but not always. They’re also very honest and open with each other about their sexuality. Julie tells us that she thought it was weird at first, but they have fun parties and seem to care about each other more than most couples do these days.
I agree with her and really think polyamory, more than two people involved in a sexual relationship, can work. It has to be the right people. I thought Mark would be the one it would work with. That was my mistake. He knew from the beginning that I would never be “his”. We had such amazing times that he pretended he was fine with being in second place, but in the end I think he wanted to be a couple, perhaps marriage, with just one devoted woman. I couldn’t fault him for that, but he didn’t have to be such a dick to me at the end after I had done nothing but loved him and was always good to him. He couldn’t talk to me. He wasn’t honest with me and that’s what ultimately kills any relationship. That’s why even though I have had other lovers, my relationship with Scott remains so strong, it’s the communication.
Juliet Adelaide has a Bachelor’s degree in Humanities and Culture from Arizona State University. She started dating her husband at the age of 17 and they were monogamous for 25 years. They are a devoted couple who only recently opened their marriage to new sexual experiences allowing Juliet to become a hotwife.
“mrs Sexy” is the witty, erotic and true story of her experiences with this new polyamorous lifestyle. Juliet, (aka Mrs Sexy), takes you through the most personal moments of her romantic and sexual adventures.
I have always had a want to understand people’s deepest darkest desires. At first, this led me to read philosophy, and later to BDSM. There is a combination of curiosity, trust and connection that makes exploring kink the most intellectually and physically exciting parts of my day.
What Is Smothering & Breath Play?
Smothering and breath play are extremely intimate, you’re literally trusting your life force with me. It’s for this reason that you should only engage in these activities with trained individuals, and never push it too far.
Breath play can be quite dangerous and your practitioner needs to be completely in control and monitoring your body language and pre-arranged mercy signals at all times when it comes to heavy bondage breath play scenarios.
However there are also lighter smothering scenarios that can be a lot of fun, in this case I like to use my body. I have been gifted with large natural breasts and an ample bottom that is ideal for queening (sitting on your subs face) or breast smothering (pushing my subs face between my breasts).
Many subs are attracted to these elements of my body when they find my profile, and I like to use that to my advantage. I love creating scenarios where subs are ‘forced’ (consensually) to perform certain tasks for my amusement in order to try and win my favour, and perhaps have the honour of experiencing this total submission.
Reasons Subs Love This Kink
I had a sub once say, “when you control my breath it’s the ultimate submission, it’s like you have my life in your hands”
For many, this form of kink is the most they could offer their mistress. Equally, I hear from some subs that this kink feels extremely comforting, particularly for those who are starved in other parts of their lives – they are being engulfed by the femme.
What Goes On In A Typical Session
Well, it pairs very well with bondage and restraints for obvious reasons. Usually we’ll start with some more ‘active’ play like task domination or discipline, then I’ll tie them down for their smothering reward – if they have performed to my liking.
What To Expect Before Trying Smothering & Breath Play
Again, they should do their research and make sure their playmate is engaging in safe, sane and consensual practices. They should establish a way they can communicate their boundaries with their dominant before the session begins – eg a fast tapping of the hand. They should start slow and I would advise no longer then a few seconds of complete breath deprivation – it only takes four minutes to cause permanent damage. If they are considering choking type play, they should make sure to approach the grip from the sides of the throat and avoid crushing the wind pipe from the front.
They should expect to feel some light headed-ness, and make sure their body is in a supportive and comfortable position. I wouldn’t advise breath play for those prone to fainting or with other pre-existing medical conditions. It is important to practice strong communication with your dominant before, during and after the session.
Mistress Christine – A Sydney based dominatrix, she loves travelling the world and exploring every avenue of fetish when that’s possible.
My personal views on kink and alternative lifestyles is that everyone has kinks, which makes life more fun and interesting. Everyone should explore their kinks and do not repress it. For alternative lifestyles, I feel like it’s a beautiful thing everyone shows to be living their life to the fullest the way they want and however it makes them happy.
Even if others perceive it as weird or out of the norm. My mother always taught me that I shouldn’t care about anyone’s opinion, especially if they don’t pay my bills. LOL
What Constitutes Humiliation?
Humiliation can be considered verbal or physical and it can include insulting, making a submissive do embarrassing acts like dressing in woman’s lingerie, urinating, slapping, and the list goes on.
I love it because for me it is very empowering. I can’t just go to any man and slap him and call him a loser bitch LOL. When it’s received and given back with obedience and a “Thank you, Goddess” or “Yes Mistress“, it’s very satisfying and rewarding.
Is Face Slapping Part Of Humiliation?
Face slapping I feel is a preference but definitely a part of humiliation. For some, I know that they have had abuse in their lives at a young age and do not like to be hit in the face but do not mind their backsides. I have a submissive that enjoys being slapped followed by insults like bitch or loser.
Reasons Subs Love Humiliation & Face Slapping
The reasons I hear from Subs that enjoy humiliation or face slapping is that they enjoy it because of the feeling of helplessness and feeling below a powerful woman. Also, I see Mommy issues in play in some subs. Being degraded by a woman gives some pleasure and comfort.
What Goes On In A Humiliation Session
In a humiliation session, I start with a conversation that is paid to talk about their wants and needs. So everyone is on the same page and knows what to expect out of a session.
Safe-words and props are discussed also and how they want to be humiliated. The props commonly used can include floggers, collars, restraints like handcuffs and rope, whips, and even pee sometimes.
What Should One Know Prior To Being Humiliated?
For someone first getting into humiliation or face slapping, I feel that someone should do some soul searching. To see if it’s something that stimulates them in a positive way.
I’m here to help ultimately. I have a background in psychology and working on my Bachelors. I’m not here to ruin lives or mentally damage someone. Now let’s have some FUN 🙂
Miss Poison Avy – Massachusetts based Dominatrix. Love to humiliate and drain wallets for my entertainment. Prove your worth.
Ever wondered what really happens on a hot girls’ night out? Meet Juliet Adelaide and her friends in The Secret Life of a Hotwife as they drive into the sassy world in this no-holds barred account of a hotwife’s lifestyle, and uncover all you’ve ever wanted to know, from the sensual and provocative to the risque and unspeakable.
Based on the steamy real-life experience of Juliet Adelaide, author of The Mrs Sexy Chronicles, this exclusive first-hand account of her exploration of sexual freedom and insight into the life of a hotwife will leave you begging for more.
Chapter 12 Teaser – Tools Of The Trade
Julie says that she likes the Magic Wand. It’s not my favorite type of vibrator, but I don’t say anything other than to ask her what she likes about it. She likes the large surface area. Kristen blushes as Julie continues to tell us that she can rub it on her wet pussy and then slide it up to her clit without ever losing the touch of it against her. She bites her lip, winks at Kristen and giggles. I tell her that I get that but sometimes I don’t think it focuses enough direct contact on my clit. Julie fesses up that she does have her fingers too when she needs direct contact. The ladies are all laughing like schoolgirls as I turn to Michelle and ask if she’s allowed toys.
She laughs a little and tells me that she has a few items that she plays with occasionally with her husband. She has the large rabbit style vibrator but rarely uses it. She said that she really loves the way it feels but is embarrassed, even with her husband, to use it. She wished that her husband would use it on her but he tried once or twice and was a little too rough with it.
I nod and understand because I’ve had lovers try to use a vibrator on me and they have pushed too hard or moved it too fast forgetting that the tool itself does the work. I like it just gently grazing my clit to start and let the vibration do the work. There shouldn’t be too much effort. Michelle laughs and says that she wished she could teach her husband how to use it but doesn’t want to hurt his feelings.
Juliet Adelaide has a Bachelor’s degree in Humanities and Culture from Arizona State University. She started dating her husband at the age of 17 and they were monogamous for 25 years. They are a devoted couple who only recently opened their marriage to new sexual experiences allowing Juliet to become a hotwife.
“mrs Sexy” is the witty, erotic and true story of her experiences with this new polyamorous lifestyle. Juliet, (aka Mrs Sexy), takes you through the most personal moments of her romantic and sexual adventures.
We continue our Mistress Iceni feature on exploring spanking and discipline here!
What Goes On In A Session & Favorite Props To Use
First of all we decide pre-session if we will start on arrival or sit and have a chat first for you to settle in. Some role plays will begin at the front door, which can be thrilling – you have arrived home at your Aunt’s house to find her very annoyed about something/you are visiting your bossy new neighbour who suspects you have been peeping on her and have stolen her underwear from the washing line/you are reporting to the headmistress’ study after school for detention and so on.
In these cases, you will be led through to the study and usually given a thorough scolding and interrogation about your behaviour. I like to start my sessions with an over the knee hand spanking to warm up the bottom. This is a good way to forge a connection across my knee before we proceed, and to reduce any resistance: once the pants come down, so does the attitude, I find. Then we would move on to a variety of positions – over the school desk, lying face down on the red leather sofa, touching your toes, strapped to the Eton Flogging Block and so on, and I would use several of my implements.
My spanking sessions can be relentless, but I will also give you regular breaks maybe in corner time, holding a stress position, hands on your head and pants round your knees. If it is a scholastic/Governess/home tutor session I would incorporate tasks like writing lines/essays/prepare a presentation/memory tasks/tests. I absolutely love scolding so often I will scold you throughout and verbally tease you. I like some interaction and cheekiness, but some people are quiet and compliant all the way through which is also fine.
I like to end my session with an OTK spanking as well, to complete the circle, and depending on the visitor/scenario, will encourage the spankee to relax across my knee for a little while specially if it has been an intense session. Then I would offer a cup of tea or coffee and sit and chat for a while, making sure they do not leave until they are fully recovered!
With regards to props, the devil is in the detail. I ask a lot of questions before the booking and mull over the scene in advance so I can get creative. For example, I had a session booking where he wanted to be spanked for stealing sweets from the corner shop when he was a lad, something he got away with at the time. So I bought some old-fashioned-looking sweets and put them on the chair in the study. When I opened the door and took him through as his Aunt, claiming I had searched his bag after a phone call from the newsagents and discovered his stolen stash, he saw the sweets, gasped and turned pale and started trembling!
It was wonderful and a very powerful indication that just one or two appropriate props can really help with authenticity. He hadn’t expected to see that, and afterwards he said they looked just like the sweets he had stolen, and seeing them jolted him right back to being that young boy feeling the guilt of having done it. A perfect way to get into the right headspace!
Other props I love are my retro 70s phone with round dial and curly wiring, so I can call parents/authorities/the school. My custom-made Eton Flogging Block is a formidable piece of furniture that’s been nick-named ‘the Beast’ and is very intimidating. I am very fetishistic about items and implements so I could tell you about many more props, but there wouldn’t be time to cover them all!
What Should One Knew To Spanking & Discipline Prepare For Prior To Their First Session?
Firstly, do your research regarding who you visit. If you wish to experience purely a discipline/spanking session, I’d advise visiting a disciplinarian rather than a mistress (who would probably be good at it, but also does many other things, and does not specialise in this area). A disciplinarian/spanker solely focuses on this area and will have more experience and nuance.
Also research where they work from – do you want a domestic environment or a dungeon? Look at their online presence – things like Twitter, webpage, reviews, clips (so you can see how they work). Depending on location, people charge different rates so maybe you can find cut-price sessions that undercut some of the others, but you get what you pay for in life.
Approach with a polite and informative email, and communicate as much as possible before the session (not mailing 10 times a day! But it’s best to be clear before you start about details/background etc).
Consider whether you need a safe word or not. Remember ‘I can take a hard spanking’ is very subjective. You may imagine you have a huge tolerance for pain but not be able to handle what you thought you might. Or you may be too cautious and find once you get going, you love it and could take harder. So bear in mind if you think it might get too much, you can request a safe word before the session.
A great spanking session is about connection. The most important thing is to feel the right connection with this person in your initial contacts. It is about trust and instinct.
Don’t be late! If you’re running late, inform her/him. Follow reconfirmation instructions to the letter. This shows attention the detail and a level of respect.
Arrive clean and tidy, above all clean. We are dealing with your bottom – need I say more? Nice underwear is also much appreciated. Often you may bring a gift if you like but it’s not compulsory. If you do choose to turn up with flowers/chocolates/a bottle of wine etc you will probably be remembered as very thoughtful and considerate.
Be prepared if it’s your first time – the effect of discipline may not be what you expect. Some people can experience strong emotions during a spanking as it can bring up unexpected repressed emotions. It might make you feel rampantly horny!
Equally, it may send you into sub-space where you feel floaty, serene and peaceful. You can become quite discombobulated – forget your wallet or pick up the wrong pair of glasses, or try to leave via the boiler cupboard (all of these have happened after my sessions!) so make sure you have gathered yourself and your faculties before leaving.
Mostly know this – it might be an intense experience, and some of it may be painful, but if you have been thinking about getting a thrashing for some time, and are not sure whether to try it, I’d say if it’s often on your mind then it is for you, and it will be a liberating experience and the start of a whole new chapter to your life.
You are never too old to go across my knee either – I have one lovely visitor who is 85 and took his first spanking at 75. It’s never too late to start this journey. But be warned – once you pop, you can’t stop!
Mistress Iceni – London-based disciplinarian specialising in spanking and role plays with a distinctly vintage style. I may remind you of your old school-teacher, Mum’s friend, strict neighbour or Governess, but whichever female authority figure I represent for you, a visit to my study will usually result in a sore bottom and a marked improvement in your behaviour. I am a firm believer in old-fashioned discipline and you will find it may hurt at the time, but it is ultimately for your own good.
I am currently working on several projects to collaborate more with women as I have enjoyed filming so much with Anty (@Anty851 on Twitter, follow her, she’s wonderful) and Ana, and before that, the wonderful films for Miss Elsa Svenson (wellsmackedseat.com) as Miss Ashbrook. I am planning to film some clips and content with a lovely young lady Dilan (@OhdearDilan on Twitter- you really should follow her too) Also I have Emily Jane now available to join me in sessions and film with me as a spankee. I’m currently in discussions with another lovely young lady to offer exclusive custom clips as mother and daughter. So watch this space and follow me on social media if you want to see me spanking some pretty bottoms!
My other project which I worked on extensively during lockdown is my retro spanking novel: Set in 1979 in provincial England, it’s the story of Andrew, a permanently horny 17 year old who is sent to live with his strict Aunt while his parents divorce. She takes him on a roller-coaster journey of discovery with help from her equally assertive lady friends. It is a coming-of-age story that examines self-acceptance, kink-shaming, gender identity, spanking, age play, petticoat punishment and the psychological and emotional pull of corporal punishment. I have pitched it somewhere between ‘Harriet Marwood, Governess’ (which was a huge inspiration, and this is a kind of updated homage) and the saucy ‘Carry On’ Films of the 1970s. The working title is ‘Aunty knows best’ and I have just finished the first draft, so while it is not available just yet, I will promote it as soon as I have it ready for my eager readers! The plan is to publish as a paperback, e-book and possible audio version, narrated by myself.
To me it is perfectly normal to be kinky. One of my greatest joys in this work is to encourage and allow people to deal with their deep-seated shame around their kinks, and to allow them to express themselves fully with someone who makes them feel safe and accepted.
I believe kinks to be a very healthy expression of our shadow selves – the darker, quirkier recesses of our souls. If you deny something, it is like pushing a beach-ball under the surface of the water. It will pop up again somewhere else, you can’t keep it under. As long as it is safe, sane and consensual I do not judge anybody.
Exploring a kink with someone on the same wavelength has something innocent about it. Together you can regress to that space you naturally inhabited when playing with your friends as a child: lost in your boundless imagination, totally immersed in the fantasy world you have created, going on a magical mystery tour. I find people who are kinky to be the most grounded, self-accepting, and self-aware people.
What Does Discipline Constitute?
Most people think ‘discipline’ means punishment, and it often is, but its original meaning is ‘to learn or teach’ from the Latin ‘disciplina’ (as in ‘disciple’). I love it because it is ultimately good for people and it has so many facets: role-play, endorphin-release, trust, power exchange, regression and so on. You might think it would get boring or repetitive, but for me it never does. I find it endlessly fascinating.
Is Spanking Part Of Discipline or A Totally Independent Kink?
I’ve never been asked that before! I think they are linked because you usually spank someone in the context of a disciplinary scenario. I can give you an example of how they are independent: I can carry out, for example, a long discipline session which involves very little actual impact play – say an intricate school scene with lots of role play and activities like corner time, writing lines, stress positions, scolding and so on, and only deliver 12 cane strokes near the end.
Sometimes people ask for this type of more cerebral and psychological session. But I would rarely spank someone outside the context of them being disciplined in some way. Sometimes I spank my ‘nephew’ Andrew purely for the fun of it and because his pert little bottom is irresistible but usually it involves a play-acting theme where he has done something wrong or ‘needs’ it.
Reasons Subs Are Into Spanking & Discipline
First of all, I don’t really like the generic label ‘sub’. I think mostly for real spankophiles, it’s understood that many people are not even natural submissives. I prefer to call them ‘bottoms’, ‘spankees’, ‘nephews’ ‘naughty girls’ etc.
I hear many reasons: being spanked as a child or witnessing spankings at school or in a domestic environment, therefore being ‘hot-wired’ to like it. The release of endorphins afterwards and the floating sense of calm. Being embarrassed or humiliated, or being objectified sexually by having to strip in front of me and/or my lady friends (from men, not women). A need to regress to a younger age/return to a child-like state. Being put in their place to balance ego in a dominant, high-status line of work. Giving someone else power over them and being able to let someone else make decisions for them.
The complete focus it takes to experience the physical sensations of impact play – it brings you into the present moment and away from the stress outside in the rest of your life because you cannot have your mind filled with anything else during the experience. It turns them on: for some people, it’s just their kink. The comfort of being across someone’s lap and being held in an OTK position. I’d say it’s 50/50 with people who are into spanking because they were spanked as a child, and those who weren’t.
Mistress Iceni – London-based disciplinarian specialising in spanking and role plays with a distinctly vintage style. I may remind you of your old school-teacher, Mum’s friend, strict neighbour or Governess, but whichever female authority figure I represent for you, a visit to my study will usually result in a sore bottom and a marked improvement in your behaviour. I am a firm believer in old-fashioned discipline and you will find it may hurt at the time, but it is ultimately for your own good.
I am currently working on several projects to collaborate more with women as I have enjoyed filming so much with Anty (@Anty851 on Twitter, follow her, she’s wonderful) and Ana, and before that, the wonderful films for Miss Elsa Svenson (wellsmackedseat.com) as Miss Ashbrook. I am planning to film some clips and content with a lovely young lady Dilan (@OhdearDilan on Twitter- you really should follow her too) Also I have Emily Jane now available to join me in sessions and film with me as a spankee. I’m currently in discussions with another lovely young lady to offer exclusive custom clips as mother and daughter. So watch this space and follow me on social media if you want to see me spanking some pretty bottoms!
My other project which I worked on extensively during lockdown is my retro spanking novel: Set in 1979 in provincial England, it’s the story of Andrew, a permanently horny 17 year old who is sent to live with his strict Aunt while his parents divorce. She takes him on a roller-coaster journey of discovery with help from her equally assertive lady friends. It is a coming-of-age story that examines self-acceptance, kink-shaming, gender identity, spanking, age play, petticoat punishment and the psychological and emotional pull of corporal punishment. I have pitched it somewhere between ‘Harriet Marwood, Governess’ (which was a huge inspiration, and this is a kind of updated homage) and the saucy ‘Carry On’ Films of the 1970s. The working title is ‘Aunty knows best’ and I have just finished the first draft, so while it is not available just yet, I will promote it as soon as I have it ready for my eager readers! The plan is to publish as a paperback, e-book and possible audio version, narrated by myself.
Kink and an alternative lifestyle should be normalized just a little bit more because more people than you realize actually live life that way or have some interest in kink, but since it is so outcasted by society, people don’t accept it.
It would be nice if people were able to just express themselves and be into what they are into and not have to fear judgement. The kink society is a very welcoming community and a really good support system for people who need a way to express themselves differently than what society considers the norm.
What Is Inside A Dungeon?
Generally, a dungeon has some equipment that you can tie a person down to, usually a St. Andrews Cross, a bed of some sort, or a cage. All dungeons are different, but typically hitting implements (whips, paddles, floggers).
I bring my own equipment for electrical play, strap ons, and sounding kits that I am comfortable using and have a lot of experience working with. I keep my things separate and every girl usually brings their own equipment well. They are so many different things you use in the genre of Femdom and kink, it’s never going to be a limited list. I am constantly being brought new presents and toys that are fun to use.
The list can really go on forever, but some of the more popular ones are ropes for bondage, cuffs, blindfolds, clothespins, and sensory deprivation tools.
What Is Your Dungeon Of Choice?
I choose Mystique Chamber because it is the closest and most convenient for me to go to, and it is the only dungeon in the San Fernando Valley area. I was happy to find that all the other Domme’s are very similar to me, and we have all ended up bonding, connecting, and becoming very good friends.
There is not a caddy element there, and since I have been there for so long I let myself in and out, it’s comfortable, it feels like home, and I really enjoy it there. Femdom is a very broad topic so all my sessions vary, but some of my most popular sessions involve foot worship, bondage, financial domination, ball busting, corporal punishment, and strap on/sissy play.
Misconceptions Of Dungeons
People usually hear the word “dungeon” and they get all freaked out that it’s a “Big Scary Place.” This is not the case, it’s a safe and fun place to play where people can express themselves and their kinks.
Most people can share their darkest secrets without worry that they normally can’t share with anyone else and truly feel free. It can be quite cathartic and therapeutic for most people who visit.
Rules & Boundaries In A Dungeon
Every Domme has their own set of rules and set of boundaries that they instill with their clients, as each Domme is independent and does not work for the dungeon.
In general, we keep the dungeon safe and sanitized. We like to keep the privacy and safety of the dungeon, we do not provide the address of the dungeon until immediately before the session to any new clients until they have paid a deposit and have valid references.
We try our best to keep the dungeon a safe, consensual, hygienic, and private location for the benefit of everyone who visits.
How Can A Sub Prepare For Their First Dungeon Experience?
A sub should do their research, and research the Domme they want to have a session with beforehand to see if their styles will mesh well with one another. Send a respectful e-mail with a list of interests and boundaries so they can collaborate with the Domme for the best possible experience.
A list of general interests is best, as all the Dommes are all professionals and can provide a very natural flowing session from the sub’s interests expressed to them. All of the Domme’s are very talented and inspired, so a sub should keep in mind to let the Domme do what they do best and follow her lead at all times. Give the Domme free reign, but still set their own personal limits and boundaries.
Clear communication from the beginning of the session and during is the most important aspect for an enjoyable session. The more respectful a sub is, the better their chance is to book a session. Tipping is in everyone’s best interests.
Sorceress Bebe – LA based pro Domme, findomme and fetish clip artist. I am fierce when it comes to psychological domination and once you fall under my spell, there’s no going back. You’ll be hooked, spellbound and begging for more. The way I get into your head becomes an addiction from which you will never recover, but why would you want to?
Well, since I have been involved in the BDSM lifestyle for a little over 20 yrs, I guess you could say that I am very much in favor of kink and BDSM. There is so much more to BDSM than the stereotypical whips, chains and women in tight leather corsets. For many people, BDSM is a way to de-stress from a high pressure job.
For others, BDSM can be a way for them to discover (or get in touch with) their true self that they may be afraid to show to the rest of the world. And for some, BDSM can be a way of safely dealing with past traumas.
In a nutshell, I see BDSM as a beautiful, complex and diverse window into human sexuality and the human condition.
What I Love About Kinky Phone Sex
This might sound a bit odd, but I genuinely love getting to know the clients and building a deeper connection with them. I have always loved talking to people from all over the world, even before I dipped my toe into the phone sex industry.
Kinky phone sex provides, for me, a fun way to talk to fascinating people in a more in-depth and personal way than I could ever hope for in conventional chat rooms or out in public. I absolutely love my job and can’t see me ever stopping.
Reasons One Engages In Kinky Phone Sex
There are several reasons why someone would like to engage in kinky phone sex. Each person is different, so I can only speak in generalities, but I would say that the primary reason would be safety.
Calling a kinky phone service, like the company I work for (www.peplove.com) is a discreet way to safely explore sexual fantasies without any pressure or having to worry about disease or social stigma. Clients come to me because they are looking to connect with someone that won’t judge/shame them for their fantasies.
Do You Have A Particular Dom Style?
I’m not sure I have a particular ‘style’. What I can tell you, is that I am brutally honest, no-nonsense and down to earth. While I have a fondness for some of the more sadistic practices, I realize that not everyone is interested in that; so I adjust accordingly and bring out my softer, more sensual side.
I have many interests, both in BDSM and in the outside/vanilla world, which I use to help build a connection with the client. Want to talk about wax play? Bring it. Want to talk about servicing an entire hockey team? I’ve got you covered. Want to talk about hiking the Appalachian trail? I’m there with my hiking boots on. Let’s go.
What Goes On In A Kinky Phone Sex Session
This is a difficult question to answer. Each call is different and unique to the client. One thing that all calls have in common, is that I ask the caller what is on their mind.
For some long established clients, they just jump right in and tell me that they have been naughty and need to be punished. Then we discuss what happened and the sort of punishment they deserve. For new clients, I start with asking a variety of questions in order to learn their interests and their limits. Within the fantasy realm that I weave, there are no off limit topics.
What Should One New Prepare For?
If you are new to kinky phone sex, I want you to be as open and honest as possible. Let me know, right away what your likes and dislikes are, if there are any words or scenarios that are a complete turn-on or turn-off.
I can’t read your mind, so it’s important that you, the client, tell me these things. Also, please remember that I am a real person and that being respectful and polite will take you far.
In regards to expectations, you should expect to be heard and to explore your fantasies in a safe, entertaining manner.
Born & raised in the U.S. Midwest, Goddess Reba is a phone sex operator with www.peplove.com and writer of erotica and kink positive educational articles. As a BDSM lifestyle Dominatrix, Goddess Reba has seen it all and loves getting into a submissive’s mind to see what makes them tick. Goddess Reba brings a wicked sense of humor and a wildly creative imagination to everything She does. Her rave reviews speak for themselves.
People can see and learn more about Goddess Reba using the following links:
