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Pickup Artist VS Dating Coach


Pickup Artist VS Dating Coach

What’s the difference between a pickup artist & a dating coach? Don’t you both teach how to get laid?

Technically, a pickup artist teaches the art of the cold approach. Simply put, how to approach, attract, connect and seduce a total stranger. A dating coach teaches men the art of dating. In other words, they teach conversational skills, stimulation skills, good manners to have on dates, how to handle logistics etc … Things pertaining to dating.

Practically speaking, it really is mostly semantics.

Firstly, a lot of the skills are involved in picking up a total stranger, crossover with skills are required to do well in the dating scene (interacting romantically with people you already know). Things like conversational skills for example.

Secondly, whilst a pickup artist is supposed to teach how to pick up strangers, a dating coach teaches you how to conduct yourself in dating scenarios, both pretty much do not adhere to these constraints at all. A pickup artist ends up teaching you how to do well within your social circle, they occasionally teach holistic self-development, and they almost always teach some sort of relationship maintenance.

When it comes to dating coaches (for men), it is even worse. Dating coaches almost totally makes the term irrelevant, because so many dating coaches are essentially pickup artists in disguise. They generally also teach pickup, self-development, and conversational skills etc … There is essentially little difference between both.

Now to answer the second question, do we both teach people how to get laid? Essentially, we could do. Mostly, the question isn’t of much importance. The reason is because we both teach skills. We teach skills that help you get better with women romantically and that often also entails being able to “get laid”. So we teach you the skills and at the end of the day, what you choose to do with those skills isn’t our business. However, we screen our clients and students for potential criminal behaviour as much as we can and we always advocate good morals in our lessons, slides, books and blog posts. Having said that, if you are single and absolutely unattached, and you are totally upfront about what you want from a woman, be it a romantic, platonic, or even sexual relationship, then in my opinion no wrong is done, and no morals are crossed. In my opinion, deceit is the real evil, not being sexually free.

In terms of my company, Navigating Social Relationships, I don’t actually know if we are dating coaches, or pick-up artists or whatever. In fact we’re probably none and it doesn’t matter anyway. All I know is that what we teach is this: How to initiate romantic relationships, and how to maintain them.

We teach this through mental development, body manipulation, skill-sets development, and also through the art of the cold approach. We do it all in a holistic attempt to get you better with women. To get you better at improving your romantic life. In fact, one of the reasons we teach the cold-approach, is because it is a means to an end. And that end isn’t to get the number, or even to get laid. That end is about self-development, to a level where women will love you, to a level where your boss will love you, to a level where everyone will respect you because you are a solid and well-developed man.

Pickup teaches you to handle rejection; it teaches you build your self-confidence and self-esteem such that it is made of bricks, and not a house of cards. It forces you to learn conversational skills, and repeatedly gives you an avenue to practise those skills. If you want to use picking up as a means to get laid, you could do that. If you wanted to use it to self-develop, you could do that, if you wanted to use it to find a romantic partner, you could do that too. Overall, we recommend that you use it for self-development and allow that to find you a romantic partner, or whatever pleases you within the moral boundaries.

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Colin Tan

Musician, Fitness Junkie, Poker-Player, Dating-Coach. Colin Tan is a jack of all trades, but master of one. Give him a problem related to relationships, dating or women, and he will come up with an optimal solution. He prides himself on the body of knowledge he has accumulated over the years, and always takes the most cutting-edge and innovative to improving the dating lives of men. He recently launched, together with his team,, a blog to help men navigate the complex and often misunderstood world of social relationships. He used to hope to change the world one man at a time, but now thinks he can do more.



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