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Tag: submissive

  • Tickle Torture is sexually arousing

    Tickle Torture is sexually arousing

    I am originally from Vancouver and have been residing in Toronto for three years now. I love it here and have no plans to leave. I have always had a strong personality and BDSM has always fascinated me. I have never been into vanilla. I began my career as a Dominatrix when I was 24 years old. I worked for several years in Vancouver. Eventually I decided to have a family so I took a hiatus from being a dominatrix for many years. During that time I worked a “normal” job that I was bored to death with. I have never fit into the so-called normal ways of living. Views on morality have always annoyed me and it has always been natural for me to push the boundaries of normalcy, so the idea of a 9-5 job and the white picket fence has always made me laugh. Having said that, I resumed my career as a dominatrix once again and I have never been happier.

    What constitutes Tickle Torture?

    Tickle torture is one of my favorite types of sessions. Men come to me seeking to be, for lack of better words, tickled to death or tickled to the point of torture. For many, being tickled is sexually arousing, incites feelings of helplessness and releases feel good endorphins. Often, the client will produce those deep belly laughs that are almost or are painful.

    How popular are Tickle Torture sessions and how often do you get the requests?

    In my experience, tickle torture sessions are not too popular. I usually get 6-8 per year.

    What preparation do you do when there is Tickle Torture involved?

    Preparation for the session often depends on what the client is looking for. If it is just a straight up tickle torture, then I will use my fingers, restraints and a feather. If the client is looking for a tickle session combined with other elements, then it would take longer to prepare for the scene. Some clients request a role-play such as a mother and son mixed with tease and denial; bondage and paddling. This would require more preparation because I have to come up with a scene that is a one of a kind experience for the client and prepare the equipment.

    My favourite implements to use during a tickle torture session are, in order of preference, my fingers, feather, rope and tongue.

    Describe a typical process of Tickle Torture one can expect from you and what you usually do.

    In a typical torture session I would begin by asking the client what he would like and what his limits are. Next I would blindfold him and have him lay down on the bed in the boudoir and restrain him/her. For me, the boudoir is the ultimate setting for tickle torture session because it is cozy. Then I would start by breathing on his sensitive areas and caressing them with my hands and fingers. I like to build up to the heavy tickling. Next, I would use feather on him while whispering words into his ear that fit the role-play. The whole time I am doing the above, I am paying attention to where on his body that I am getting the most reaction. Lastly, usually using my fingers, I would apply more pressure and tickle him to the point of tears. Remember, depending on the role-play, the tickling may have intermittent paddling, slapping and humiliation.

    How is Tickle Torture used as a punishment in the context of BDSM?

    That is a good question. In my opinion, tickling can become so intense that it becomes painful. Think about a scenario when you were younger and someone tickled you to the point where it was no longer enjoyable yet you were laughing the entire time. If I am in a role-play and I know the client hates being tickled, I would use it as a punishment for any misbehavior the sub has shown. However, in my experience, most clients come to me for the enjoyment of it and for the pain/pleasure connection.

    What are some precautions to ensure safe Tickle Torture especially if trying and experimenting at home for beginners?

    The one precaution I would suggest for beginners is to know your partners limits and have a safe word.

    Visit Mistress Aiella’s profile below for more details and all the various links to follow her!

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  • Office Bitch Roleplay

    Office Bitch Roleplay

    Hello I am Kountess Von Kink , International Domme sessioning in Hong Kong, London and Brighton and other cities by appointment. I specialise in roleplay, especially the office bitch and nurse type scenarios and I have just opened my own Kink Klinic In Brighton.

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    What constitutes role playing and how do you define it?

    Roleplaying for me is when you assume another character, decide on a scenario and then act it out. It is acting but kinkier. . What is wonderful about roleplay is that it allows you to behave in a way you would not if you were just being ‘you’.  I started role playing quite young, when I was 17.  I didn’t know the term roleplay then, so I called it dress up.  I had a nurse and policewoman’s outfit  and my old school uniform. I loved the freedom adopting these personalities gave me to act extremely slutty, bitchy or submissive.  It’s a great way to exercise your alter ego or to experience a situation that would be unlikely to happen or would be unsafe in real life. I love many aspects of being a Domme but the performer in me loves roleplay and makes it my favorite type of play in my personal as well as professional life. Sometimes I feel I am a private actress more than I am a Dominatrix.  It’s what I excel at and when I find a great roleplay partner who  gives me feedback that makes the scene feel authentic, the scene comes alive. When that happens, it’s comparable to subspace.

    office bitch

    How popular are the office bitch role play sessions and how often do you get the requests?

    The Office Bitch is my most popular request by far. I guess many men have fantasised about the Femme Fatale in the workplace and I make the fantasy come true.  If someone is new to roleplay, I usually suggest this scenario as it’s  a situation nearly everyone is familiar with and so will feel  comfortable for a new player who is inexperienced and might be a little shy.

    What preparation do you do when office bitch role playing is involved?

    Well equipment depends on what they want included in the roleplay?  As well as acting out the roleplay, there will be things that are requested to be done whilst playing, for example,  strap on training, bondage ropes, cross dressing clothes, every sub is different so every session is different.  First of all though would be the location. An office would be  ideal, or at least a desk, if it is a domestic space or a hotel, that can also work. Then, my attire. A typical look would be a  crisp white shirt, business suit, black lingerie and fully fashioned sheer nylons with immaculate patent stilettos.  I would wear spectacles of course, my hair pinned up which I unpin half way through the session and let it fall around my face and  bright red lips and nail polish.

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    Describe a typical process of the office bitch role play one can expect from you?

    Each roleplay is tailored to each client. But a possible plot could be I am the new CEO of the company and they would be working in a position below me. I have summoned him to the office maybe to discuss a promotion or some misdemeanor he is being accused of.  You need to be articulate, confident and well versed in office jargon to pull it off and  seem realistic. I like to take a lot of time developing the scene, as the beauty is in the build up.  Talk in a nice polite way to him while stretching a leg and allowing a shoe to dangle, or unfasten a button to show cleavage.  Then my attitude changes and I accuse him of whatever I feel like. Maybe he had been oggling the females in the office, making smutty remarks, making them feel uncomfortable.  Or watching porn during office hours.  This is unacceptable in the workplace and constitutes sexual harassment.  The only way he can keep his position will be to be retrained in office etiquette.  This could include whatever he had mentioned as his kinks in our pre-session correspondence or just something I decided on at the last minute.

    How is role play used as a punishment in the context of BDSM?

    With me I sometimes punish them within the roleplay but I don’t usually use role play as a punishment, it could be though for sure.

    What are some precautions to ensure safe office bitch role playing especially if trying at home?

    Don’t really think you need any specific ones, it’s not breath play or dangerous at all. Just make sure as in any type of play that you trust your partner.

    Images courtesy of Kountess Von Kink
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  • How can anal play be incorporated into a D/S relationship?

    How can anal play be incorporated into a D/S relationship?

    Dominating someone, and being dominated anally can be a really intense and exciting experience. You can add an element of role-play, with one of you being the customs officer and the other the “smuggler” who needs to be internally searched etc… there is no end to scenarios like this so have some fun and change it up.

    Some masochists (people who like receiving pain) enjoy rough and painful anal play, or the thought of it. Sometimes the threat of “I’m going to fuck you so hard!” and “I’m gonna stretch your asshole so wide” will be enough. Other times they may want a thumb roughly pushed into their butt with your other hand over their mouth etc. This kind of rough play should always have a discussion beforehand, so you both know what each other are wants and not wants, even in the middle of a role-play scenario.

    It’s important to have a safe word so if one person is saying “ouch ouch!” you will know if this means stop or if it means they are enjoying the feelings. Common sense should also be used, so if your play partner suddenly tenses up or looks distressed you should check in with them.

    The submissive can also beg for anal attention, saying “Please Mistress I want to feel your beautiful cock in my ass” or “Please Sir I will do anything to have you put your finger in my butt” etc etc.

    I spend most of my time filming and performing in fetish videos and 5 minute clips, on a huge range of kinky topics. In some I am embracing my love for leather, like the one where I play with a butt plug I’ve been wearing under my leather pants. In others I dominate my slave and I make him pleasure me. Would you like to see me in a particular fetish film scene? Custom clip requests are very welcome. Read more of my profile below with my links or visit my website at http://www.sindyskin.com

    Featured image courtesy of Mistress Sindy Skin
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  • What do you do when you’re 23 years old and want to try BDSM?

    What do you do when you’re 23 years old and want to try BDSM?

    You come and see me!

    Last night I saw a young guy, just 23 years old who wanted to try BDSM. He wanted to try a fantasy and had been too scarred to tell his partners what he wanted. The fear of being mocked or judged for having these fantasies was, I think, one of the reasons he came to see me. The other of course is that he knew from my website that he would be safe, that he wouldn’t catch anything and that I wouldn’t hurt him in anyway.

    I know how he feels, in fact I did the same thing 20 years ago when I wanted to try out this Bondage, Discipline, Sado-Masochistic (slave / Master could also be substituted here). A safe environment is so important to being able to relax and then enjoy a session of this sort.

    Just like the main character in 50 Shades of Grey, the torment that goes through a submissive’s head prior to a session can be anything from amazingly intoxicating to excruciating nervousness. I could tell this boy was terrified when he arrived, his eyes showed a mix of rampant sexual energy as well as complete terror.

    His fantasy was around being verbally humiliated and sexually dominated.  Having a fantasy around being verbally humiliated is something that is hard to come to terms with. Verbal sexual/erotic humiliation, putting someone down or shaming them is a challenge for me.  However, I understand when someone comes to me with this fantasy, I need to hold space for them and allow them to explore this. I also have found that in this humiliation there is often a deepness that triggers the person to actually heal themselves from shame, fear or guilt that they may be harbouring.

    So when someone does come to see me with a desire for erotic humiliation, I am glad that I can assist. My hope is that their session gives his/her the feelings and sensations that they are craving in a safe, sane and supported environment.

    Definition of Erotic Humiliation from Wikipedia:

    “Erotic humiliation is the consensual use of psychological humiliation in a sexual context. Whereby one person gains arousal or erotic excitement from the powerful emotions of being humiliated and demeaned, or of humiliating another; it is often, but not always, accompanied by sexual stimulation of one or both partners in the activity. The humiliation need not be sexual in nature; as with many other sexual activities, it is the feelings derived from it that are sought, regardless of the nature of the actual activity. This is usually a feeling of Submission for the person being humiliated, and Dominance, for the person doing the humiliation. It can be verbal or physical, or in private or public. Often it can become ritualized, and unlike some sexual variations it can also be easily carried out over a long distance (as online). Humiliation is an example of the power dynamic that exists in a D/s or M/s relationship. E.g. In an activity such as spanking, the sought effect is primarily the humiliation; the activity is just a means to that end.”

    If you’d like to explore erotic humiliation or BDSM, feel free to contact me via my website: aaronjking.com

    This article has been republished with permission from Aaron King.

    Please visit Aaron’s website  to view the original post and more of Aaron’s works.

     Featured image courtesy of Shutterstock
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  • Confessions of a 21st century Dominant in suburbia

    Confessions of a 21st century Dominant in suburbia

    Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Ward*, and I am a Dominant male.

    This might surprise you as I am not (1) a billionaire and (2) I do not fly a helicopter and (3) I do not have an elaborate mansion with a red room that I use to perform deliciously explicit acts of pain on the women who choose to submit to me.

    Far from it.

    On the surface, I am Ward Cleaver living in Mayberry next door to Mr. Brady. I am a member of the local Rotary club, I religiously attend parent teacher conferences, I volunteer for the local public radio station and my son’s school, and spend weekends carting a suburban filled with children to hockey practice and parks and a myriad of activities.

    On the surface, anyway.

    Beneath the surface is something much darker.

    Beneath the surface is a Dominant male who goes to bed each night with a submissive woman who is required to wear a collar and ask for permission to sleep in his bed; a Dominant male who selects his pet’s panties every day and will text her a message—often during a business meeting—directing her to exercise her cunt for him. A Dominant male who unabashedly refers to his female companion as a fucktoy, whore and slut.

    It is who I am.

    Just don’t tell my fellow Rotarians.

    We have no red room in Mayberry, but in our bedroom where the bad things occur, there is a box of tricks I keep on my side of the closet and almost every night, I bring them out and use them on my pet. They range from spanking implements to restraints, vibrators and butt plugs, blindfolds and ball gags. They are brought out and used once the children have gone to sleep, the door is locked, and our cozy little bedroom becomes our own red room. Sometimes, my pet is too loud given the children in close vicinity, so the ball gag becomes a necessity. Or if I don’t care to get it out, her panties shoved inside of her mouth (after they are stuffed in her cunt so that they are soaking with her juices and she can taste herself) work just fine.

    Bad things happen in our bedroom at night. Bad things that define me as a Dominant, her as a submissive, and bring immense pleasure and a good night’s sleep to both of us.

    Morning comes, and I wake the children up and our household is oh so innocently vanilla.

    No one ever knows.

    She will often times text me when I get to work, to inform me of just how sore she is from the previous night, and ask me if I am proud of the bruises I left on her ass and upper thighs.

    What can I say? I am a Dominant male, and thus, I am quite proud of those bruises.

    My job requires me to travel, and whenever possible, I bring my pet along. This allows us to explore other aspects of our kinkiness, which, in the past year, has included a threesome in Melbourne, a visit to a swinger’s club in New Orleans, and participating in a BDSM club in Los Angeles. We have fun going out and taking things to a next level but before we go out, we always call back home and make sure the kids are in bed and settled.

    That’s how we are.

    I don’t quite get what the big deal is about “50 Shades of Gray.” I suppose it is because the story is so engulfed in the world of the fantasy aspect of a D/s relationship. Mine is immersed in the reality, and I am quite happy with that. We have our concerns as any regular couple do …paying bills, worrying about how the kids are doing in school, car repairs, you name it. Sometimes we are just so, well, so gosh darn NORMAL.

    It seems that way, then the next moment I am directing my pet to join me in the bathroom, because it has been some time since I have treated her to a golden shower, and I have a desire to mark my territory. I don’t need a helicopter or a billion dollars (ok, that would be nice) to define me as a Dominant male. It comes from a much different place and so much of that place is based on the partner I have chosen (and who has chosen me) and the journey we have taken. It has been three years in the making, and we have detailed it quite extensively—the ups and the downs—in my blog.

    It still surprises me at times, the intensity of that thing we do.

    But I would not want it any other way.

    I am a 21st century Dominant male in suburbia, hear me roar.

    But not too loudly.

    You might wake up the children, and we have a busy day tomorrow.

    *name chosen to protect the innocents, and by “innocents” I mean “my children who might have teachers who read this.”

    Featured image courtesy of
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  • Why spank your wife?

    Why spank your wife?

    Hi, DH here! This is post is a long-overdue follow-up to my how to spank your wife post.

    I think the hardest part of our dynamic for me has been really understanding that Julia isn’t just acting submissive, she is submissive.  She really does need my loving guidance and leadership in our marriage.  And that is really the key: it’s within the context of our marriage.  She could handle her life just fine without me.

    And yet, she submits to me as her HoH.  I have the final say on all family decisions.  Although she handles paying the bills, major financial decisions are mine.  I set the rules for her, and I expect them to be followed.  It’s that we agree on this arrangement that makes this thing we do work for us.

    I’ve become fascinated by ttwd, and the effect it’s had on my marriage with Julia, and also the effect it has had on me as a person. Looking back, it seems clear to me that my new confidence in my own abilities and strength have allowed me to make the best decisions I could have made in a very tough year. The validation? I just got a raise! (And a week later “let go”.)

    Spanking your wife affirms your strength and dominance and gives you confidence that helps you in every area of your life.

    I know Julia has benefited as well. She started running in the last year, and has kept her commitment through rain, shine, backaches, and family visits. Today, I agreed to implement a new rule: if she misses a day of running, regardless of the reason, I’ll give her 7 swats with her least favorite implement, the wooden paddle. On the surface of it, that sounds pretty caveman-ey on my part. But the truth is that Julia wants it that way, so that having the threat of swats hanging over her head will “help get back into running again” after a break.

    Spanking your wife helps her build confidence and character, and motivation to complete tasks.

    Sometimes, our dynamic requires that I discipline Julia for breaking one of our rules. Our rules represent the contract on which we’ve developed and based our trust. Violations of that trust cause hurt feelings through unmet expectations. To clear the air, I spank Julia to discipline her. I lecture her during the spanking about how important the rule is, and how I need to be able to trust her to follow the rule. I ask her if she agrees, and we talk if necessary. But by the end of the spanking, the issue is resolved and doesn’t bother us anymore.

    Is it somewhat hypocritical for the man to spank the wife for an infraction, and get to skate by blamelessly when he screws the pooch? Yep. You don’t want to be that guy, trust me. Nothing feels worse than the reproach I’ve seen in Julia’s eyes, when I’ve let her down. But I’m the man. There’s nothing I can do except admit when I’m wrong, apologize when it’s necessary, and return to running my household.

    Spanking your wife provides her discipline when she breaks the rules and enforces your authority as head of the household.

    I’m also fascinated by the evolution of human behavior. Julia and I are currently watching the series Mad Men on Netflix. The first season is set in 1960, and every episode crackles with the tension between men and women. The men are men, and their attitudes are reflected in the jokes they tell: “I got a phone call at the bar saying my wife gave birth, and now I gotta pay for college!”  Men pride themselves on being strong, and weaker men are preyed on, even as they fantasize out loud about being more manly themselves.

    Fifty years later, it feels like evolution. In many ways, we just don’t think the way we did. Roles between men and women have changed as a result of the feminism movement, which has established the basic truth that women deserve equal rights. ‘Cause they’re, you know, people. Like men. The article that Julia posted sounds funny today, but the guy that said that men would be sorry when they stopped spanking their wives was right: men voluntarily gave up the right to lead their households. My generation wasn’t taught how to have a relationship with a woman, because of the rapid social changes that were going on in the 1970’s. I think men conceded their authority in relationships, and the result has been broken families.

    Don’t get me wrong: I don’t think a ttwd/spanking relationship is right for everyone. It requires consent, consistency, trust, and mutual agreement between both parties. But I believe that the taken in hand movement is almost an unconscious human expression of an evolutionary trait that we’re not ready to leave behind.

    Spanking your wife could be a human trait that shouldn’t be left behind, at least for people who need and thrive on it.

    What do you think about why you should spank your wife? Or as a wife, why you should be spanked? 😉

    This article and all associated images within the article have been republished with permission from Julia.

    Please visit her website to view the original post and more.

    Feature image courtesy of Shutterstock
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  • I am a Top and wired that way

    I am a Top and wired that way

    One definition

    “The person in control during a scene or in play, but may or may not be a dominant”

    Being a top is being part of the world of BDSM, having a fetish, being turned on by certain things that the main stream community or as some say being vanilla, would class as weird or perverted. Logically, I so pose it is a path that has deviated from the mainstream, in other words perverted.

    A top is a part of a group classed as dominants. They can be both male and female. Daddy, dom, master, mistress, domme, stone and sadist are all part in varying degrees of the same group. This group is part of another group, but not always if you take the definition strictly, called fetishist—one who gains sexual excitement through a fetish. In extreme cases, one may be unable to attain sexual gratification without the presence of the object (or at least fantasizing about it).

    As for me, I am a fetishist for sure, because it does excite me. Although i am quite happy having sex without it, I am also a plain and simple top and as the definition above states that i am not as dominant as others. I have no real desire to be a master or a daddy; I don’t want to own a slave or be in a d/s relationship. But what I do like are ladies with a submissive side. Ladies who like to be spanked and caned and everything in between and that can be in the bedroom or just general play with people who enjoy being punished by others.

    But where did it all start, where did the obsession and cravings come from?

    As far as i can recollect, it was summer and the start of a new decade; the 1970’s. I was 8 maybe 10 and playing in the garden. The kids next door were older by at least 5 years and although I had no thoughts of girls then, I remember the daughter to be very slim and attractive. There was a bit of an argument going on and as I listened, the girl answered back quite loud to her father. I have no memory of what the argument was about or how long it lasted but one sentence has stayed with me to this day.

    “You’re not too old to go over my knee young lady.”

    Even now after 40 years, I can remember the words clearly and wondered if that was the catalyst for my long obsession with a certain part of the lovely female form and my own harsh hand. To an extent it was but I now understand that it did not suddenly turn me into a spanker, it has always been in me, it is part of me. However, over the years, i have not hurt anyone (if you understand what I mean) and looking back i have enjoyed every last minute because:

    I AM SIMPLY WIRED THAT WAY.

    BOB

    Feature image courtesy of Shutterstock
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  • What Makes a Good Submissive?

    What Makes a Good Submissive?

    There are many types of submissives crawling around out there begging to be dominated. Some of them hold executive positions and some depend on a provider for their income. There are meek submissives, just as there are bold ones. A submissive can come from anyone who strives to be one, however I have noticed some attributes among certain submissives that I admire. Not only have I noticed these characteristics but, more importantly, I see the these people continuously working to better themselves in these areas. Submission can always be improved.

    Before I go into the attributes, I must say that for submissives to be their best at submitting, they must be in optimal conditions. If they are not in the right kind of relationship (e.g. an abusive relationship) or if they haven’t found someone they want to better themselves for, they will not flourish. It doesn’t mean that they aren’t good at being submissive, it just means they need to keep searching for a partner(s) that better fits them.

    First and most importantly, they communicate. It important to share fantasies and desires, wants and needs, and even something as simple as what kind of day they had, but it is dire to share concerns, when feelings have been hurt, and uncomfortable parts of their past—just to name a few. If one cannot communicate they will find themselves walking down a dark and lonely road, which does not make for a good submissive.

    I feel like while being honest and trustworthy ties in with communication, they deserve a separate mention. If a dominant can’t trust what their submissive is saying, or can’t trust that they are saying all that needs to be said, the relationship has no ground to stand on. No if’s, and’s, or but’s, the relationship will not work if there is no trust and honesty. Please note that if trust has been broken it can be repaired, though it does take time.

    Patience, a need to please, and flexibility (no, not physically flexible … though that could come in handy) also plays a big role in a submissive’s life. Personally, I do not feel that one is submitting if they are getting their way all the time, or if they only do things that please themselves. For instance, there might come a time when they don’t want to put a plug in their butts, or they might find they want to kick their dominant for telling them to do the dishes at the most inconvenient time, or at some point the submissives might be told they have to wait for something they want right now (none of which has happened to me—ahem—I don’t know why you were thinking of that), but when that person does whatever it is they don’t want to do (without kicking!), because it will please their partner, that is when they are exercising submission. Of course there are exceptions to this, even when the submissive wants to bend or wait, it’s not always possible, in which case that should be respected and not frowned upon.

    Not only do submissives need to be forgiving of their dominant, they need to be able to forgive themselves as well. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes. Sometimes forgiving doesn’t come easily, but to be at our best it must be done.

    Finally, I feel that a submissive is also strong. It can get complicated conforming to another, and it doesn’t always leave a warm and fuzzy feeling. This style of relationship isn’t easy—it takes a lot of work and a lot of time and even though the rewards are magical, it takes a strong person to keep at it.

    Feature image courtesy of Shutterstock
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  • The life of a submissive wife

    The life of a submissive wife

    So … my life.  Well … today …

    I made breakfast for my kids, drove them to school, stopped to sign one up for soccer, stopped at the ophthalmologist to pick up contacts, went to the hardware store to get paint, came home and painted my child’s room. A friend brought lunch over to my home and we chatted and then I went back to painting. I picked up my kids from school, made dinner, took a shower, drove to a child’s activity, and got the kids to sleep. It’s now 11:30pm and I am relaxing and typing this.

    Oh but wait, this was about the life of a submissive wife.  Well … ya, that’s my life … and I am a wife and I am submissive.  Note, the above day—today—didn’t include noted interactions with my dominant husband. Well, he’s traveling for work today so my interactions were texts and a couple phone calls.

    So for me, the differentiation between my life now, as a submissive wife—not just a wife and three years ago when I was a wife who was a switch (for those that don’t know that term, it means that we switched dom and sub roles back and forth) with her husband of over two decades is almost imperceptible to the outsider, but meaningful to us. I typically wake up before my husband and stroke and suck him as a wake-up call.  As he finishes dressing to go to work, I slide out of bed, sit naked on the ground at his feet and put on his shoes and socks. I typically call him Sir, though sometimes not in public. He will tug my hair or grasp it tightly if he is choosing to be inconspicuous. He has no qualms about swatting my bum as I pass by or if I’m getting out of line.

    Last Wednesday, Sir came home to a very UNsubmissive wife. He walked in the door and I was frustrated with the kids, with the dog, with him … frustrated. Sadly, that meant that I was sassy and disrespectful the moment he walked in the door. It took all of about four minutes and he looked at me … with a hardened look in his eyes, he took a firm hold of my upper arm and marched me to our room.  He calmly shut and locked our bedroom door before taking me over to our bed and lying me over the side of our bed. When I tried to stand back up, he firmly put a hand on the small of my back and commanded me to “Stay here, Fiona and silence yourself, NOW.”  He had THAT tone in his voice and immediately spanked me, HARD, rapidly and all in ONE spot. He does that when he wants to make a point. It hurts and is in no way erotic in nature. He spanked me until my body responded and I no longer fought him …somehow he knows when my mind is better, when I’ve been able to let go, when I’m repentant, and when I’m settled. When he’s done, he requires a proper apology and acknowledgement of what was wrong, and he forgives and we move forward.

    What isn’t seen by others is that in private, I will frequently call him Sir or Master. As long as he is home, there are spankings frequently, at least once a day but frequently more and many with a crop or cane, not just his hand. There are sometimes choices in my clothing that he will dictate—i.e. “Wear no underwear today, or wear your cupless bra today, or wear this outfit today, etc.  I must ask for permission to masturbate and to cum.  He will frequently lift my shirt and play with my nipples or otherwise fondle my body. If I’m out of line and disrespectful, he will correct my behavior immediately. We have a very active sex life and it frequently involves toys, be them the new spreader bars He recently made as a gift for me, or a crop or flogger or nipple clamps or dildo or … I sleep naked with him and there are frequent fondles in the night.

    Through ‘Ds’, we have strengthened our bond. We had a good, strong marriage before, but in the three and a half years we have changed to having consistent D(Sir) and s (me) roles, from switching, we improved our communication, we are sexually more active, more creative, and more satisfied than we ever have been. He is so much more in tune with me, my needs and desires and I am much more in tune with his.

    To the outside world, we simply look like any other normal, straight-laced couple.  No one would ever believe that we are a Ds couple.  I am a strong, independent, smart, mother and wife. I also happen to offer up my power and my body to my husband, my Sir, my dom, my Master.

    Feature image courtesy of Shutterstock
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  • Recommended restraints for BDSM play

    Recommended restraints for BDSM play

    If you’re controlling your man’s orgasms then preventing him from touching himself when his chastity device is removed can be very important.  It can also be a huge turn on for him to feel helpless while you tease and edge him. Here are a few suggestions for some restraints that I’ve got to know intimately and would wholeheartedly recommend to others.

    First of all you need to know that I’m a struggler—if I’m put in restraints then I’m going to test their limits and try to escape. I’m not devious, it’s just that I like the feeling of very strict and secure bondage so I need to know I can’t escape. Anything that is used to bind my limbs needs to be strong and secure, otherwise it’s useless.

    Police-style Steel Handcuffs

    This type of restraint is very strict by design—caution needs to be used because soft-tissue damage can occur if the bracelets are too tightly applied or allowed to close tightly in use. Handcuffs are not designed to be comfortable in use but do give the dominant a very quick way to restrain their partner’s hands. I get restrained in two different sets of handcuffs and enjoy the different ways they feel.

    Hiatts Speedcuffs

    We have been using these cuffs for several years—they’re the same ones as the UK police force use and are very strict restraints indeed. When applied with the hands back to back and with the locks pointing towards the body, it’s almost impossible for the restrained person to escape even with the key. Because they’re rigid cuffs, the customary way to apply them is with one arm above the other in a ‘stacked’ configuration; this reduces the risk of damage to the restrained subject. It’s also advisable to use the double locking function—not for security but to prevent the shackles from tightening.

    When put in these cuffs, the subject feels very securely restrained and the cuffs themselves feel pleasingly heavy when on. The fact that they’re rigid prevents a lot of arm movement which feels very restrictive and the non-rounded edges of the shackles remind you that you’re wearing serious restraints—I’ve worn quite a few different sets of handcuffs and these are my favourite for the secure feeling they give.

    Smith and Wesson Model 1 Hinged Cuffs

    Hinged cuffs give the wearer a bit more movement and can afford a little more comfort whilst not compromising on security. These cuffs are also very strict restraints and the bigger shackle size means that they can fit a bigger variety of wrist sizes. These Model One cuffs also feel nice and heavy when put on.

    The problem with steel handcuffs is that when I’m cuffed with my hands behind (there’s no point cuffing a chase male to the front if you’re trying to prevent him access to his penis), it can be very uncomfortable to be made to lie on my back. The cuffs dig into my wrists and back which is also potentially harmful. Luckily, there is the perfect restraint available for keeping control of a chaste male’s arms and it’s available from the recently re-opened Sub-Shop.

    Leather Restraints

    Who doesn’t like the combination of security, strictness, comfort and safety that leather restraints offer?  I love pulling against a leather restraint and feeling that there’s no give at all and no chance of escape.

    Subshops’s Behind the Back Obedience Trainer

    Here it is being modelled by the beautiful Autumn:

    This restraint is absolutely perfect to use with Male Chastity because it comfortably and securely keeps his arms where you need them to be while you edge him and deny him orgasm for as long as you want. If you’re running a strict regime which requires his hands to be secured when his chastity belt is off then this is a must-have restraint. The only thing that you may want to consider is that his hands aren’t completely restrained and he could possibly struggle free. The next recommendation takes care of that:

    Top to Bottom Leathers Padded Fist Mitts

    I am a huge fan of Top To Bottom Leathers and their products. We have quite a few of their restraints and they are of the highest quality, no amount of struggling is going to break them. The optional locking buckles are a very nice touch. These fist mitts are made to size and once buckled on and locked, there is very little opportunity to escape.  Actually I’d go as far as to say that once these are on me and the mitts are linked behind they’re inescapable under supervised conditions.

    This article and all associated images in the article have been republished with permission from John.
    Please visit John’s website to view the original post and more of his articles.

    Feature image courtesy of Shutterstock
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