What Makes a Good Submissive?

There are many types of submissives crawling around out there begging to be dominated. Some of them hold executive positions and some depend on a provider for their income. There are meek submissives, just as there are bold ones. A submissive can come from anyone who strives to be one, however I have noticed some attributes among certain submissives that I admire. Not only have I noticed these characteristics but, more importantly, I see the these people continuously working to better themselves in these areas. Submission can always be improved.

Before I go into the attributes, I must say that for submissives to be their best at submitting, they must be in optimal conditions. If they are not in the right kind of relationship (e.g. an abusive relationship) or if they haven’t found someone they want to better themselves for, they will not flourish. It doesn’t mean that they aren’t good at being submissive, it just means they need to keep searching for a partner(s) that better fits them.

First and most importantly, they communicate. It important to share fantasies and desires, wants and needs, and even something as simple as what kind of day they had, but it is dire to share concerns, when feelings have been hurt, and uncomfortable parts of their past—just to name a few. If one cannot communicate they will find themselves walking down a dark and lonely road, which does not make for a good submissive.

I feel like while being honest and trustworthy ties in with communication, they deserve a separate mention. If a dominant can’t trust what their submissive is saying, or can’t trust that they are saying all that needs to be said, the relationship has no ground to stand on. No if’s, and’s, or but’s, the relationship will not work if there is no trust and honesty. Please note that if trust has been broken it can be repaired, though it does take time.

Patience, a need to please, and flexibility (no, not physically flexible … though that could come in handy) also plays a big role in a submissive’s life. Personally, I do not feel that one is submitting if they are getting their way all the time, or if they only do things that please themselves. For instance, there might come a time when they don’t want to put a plug in their butts, or they might find they want to kick their dominant for telling them to do the dishes at the most inconvenient time, or at some point the submissives might be told they have to wait for something they want right now (none of which has happened to me—ahem—I don’t know why you were thinking of that), but when that person does whatever it is they don’t want to do (without kicking!), because it will please their partner, that is when they are exercising submission. Of course there are exceptions to this, even when the submissive wants to bend or wait, it’s not always possible, in which case that should be respected and not frowned upon.

Not only do submissives need to be forgiving of their dominant, they need to be able to forgive themselves as well. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes. Sometimes forgiving doesn’t come easily, but to be at our best it must be done.

Finally, I feel that a submissive is also strong. It can get complicated conforming to another, and it doesn’t always leave a warm and fuzzy feeling. This style of relationship isn’t easy—it takes a lot of work and a lot of time and even though the rewards are magical, it takes a strong person to keep at it.