Tag: Sex

  • Who should you have your first threesome with?

    Who should you have your first threesome with?

    Who to choose for your first threesome is daunting a question that couples face when planning their first threesome. Is it a friend or stranger? The answer will impact the experience and possibly the relationship.

    A friend is someone who is known, such as a: colleague, co-worker, acquaintance, or close friend. As a choice, a friend offers a degree of predictability, they are easily accessible, and the choice provides a sense of security. Choosing a friend means minimizing a lot of vetting and the taken time getting to know each other. It can also mean that the sex is more intimate and meaningful.

    At this point, choosing a friend seems like the perfect choice? What about a stranger? A stranger is someone that is met for the sole purpose of having a threesome. Sometimes they may be become a friend but the foundation of the relationship remains that of group sex. Meeting a stranger for a threesome can be scary since it means speaking with someone who is unknown and before the threesome happens, it means building enough trust for sex to occur.

    Properly vetting a stranger offers many things a friend cannot. The biggest advantage for choosing a stranger is privacy. There is less of a risk of friends, your employer, and family discovering your experience. Also, I believe that choosing a stranger offers another advantage and that advantage is a lower chance of emotional attachment.

    This leads to the question, is a friend really the best choice? Granted a friend means having a threesome will occur faster and more likely be more enjoyable. However there is still one remaining question regarding choosing a friend, how does the friendship continues once the threesome ends? Are you willing to lose a friend to have a threesome?

    If they have an attraction for your partner is it likely they will pursue them or is there a chance of emotional involvement that will lead to the destruction of your relationship with your spouse? At this point, a stranger seems a more obvious choice. However, do you believe they are trustworthy? Do you feel safe around them?

    Speaking from experience, using both friends and strangers for a threesome, I lean towards choosing a stranger. Let me explain from a first hand situation experienced a several years ago whereby we had invited a friend. My wife knew him and he was someone with whom she had a curiosity. We agreed that if it was going to happen, it would be a one-off situation. After a quick phone call and a few hours later, the evening was probably the hottest night of my life thus far. I watched him fuck her and watched his cum dripping out of her. Up to that point, everything went perfectly. However, we eventually lost him as a friend and she suffered remorse afterwards.

    In contrast, we had another experience several months prior to the above-mentioned. This time, it was with a stranger and it took a few months to happen. It started innocently with him flirting with her. Slowly their interest in each other grew and we talked about how she would like to fuck him. The talk began as a fantasy and how it would feel for her, if he did fuck her. Then, as time progressed, the conversation shifted from being a fantasy to a ‘what if,’ conversation. She was still hesitant about going through with it and I was happy keeping it as a fantasy. One day after returning from flirting with him some more, she told me they were talking about wanting to fuck alone. We set some basic rules and it finally happened. When she returned, it was quite arousing for the both of us.

    From my own personal experience, if I am to answer to the question as to who I would recommend for someone’s first threesome, my answer would be to invite a stranger. A stranger can take longer to arrange because a level of trust needs to be built and the initial sexual enjoyment may be lesser. However, the arrangement can be less complicated and easier to end. This can mean a more stress free experience for all involved.


    Web Site: http://www.3somes.info
    Books:  Diary of George and Melissa: Complete Edition
    Please Share My Wife with Me
    Battling for Melissa


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  • My encounter with G on Ashley Madison

    My encounter with G on Ashley Madison

    It was time to pull the trigger on this AM thing. “AM” by the way is lingo for “Ashley Madison”. I have to say that I am extremely impressed with the quantity (notice I did not say “quality”) of male suitors that have tried to contact me. I am not sure how G and I found each other but we began to chat in a matter of fact way on yahoo. Oh, here is another little AM insider secret, apparently AM charges to chat on their site among other things. I just realized this last night. I was wondering why all these men directed me to yahoo to chat. One of them made a comment about the paying thing.

    Now aside from being horny, I am also extremely frugal when it comes to paying for shit that I know is available for free.

    So back to G. We actually began chatting as I was trying to collect information for the blog. Poor, sweet G hasn’t learned yet that just about every interesting thing I learn or do finds its way into one of my blogs eventually.

    Don’t worry G. If you are reading this I will be kind.

    So G like the rest of us is horny and not gettin’ any from his wife. What fascinated me about G was that he has been on AM for two months I think he said and already met 8 different women. Impressive right?

    Am I missing something or at one point in a young woman’s life is that a turn off? Oh well, like I said in the interest of the blog lets press forward.

    So G was telling me about the women he came across. Quite frankly, I find it hard to believe that none of them appealed to him but he said they didn’t and based on some of the crazy men I have come across, I trust him. At one point in our chat he said something about me being the only normal woman he’s chatted with. Now THAT’s saying something! Then he asked me to lunch. Lunch is innocent…right?!?!?! So I agreed.

    Okay so here is my issue and will probably always be my issue. My issue is TIME. How in the world do women get away for hours at a time for these encounters? At one point G mentioned that if we hit it off we will have a “long lunch”. While that was an incredible turn on for me, the stress from trying to account for hours of my time nearly drove me to cancel but I pressed through. As sleazy as it sounds I opted for skipping lunch and heading straight for “dessert”. That was G’s joke. I want to give him credit for it.

    So our arrangement was to meet at a hotel and this is what happened:

    We met, we fucked…end of story. No Sorry, just kidding. That was cruel wasn’t it?

    Actually G established the room and texted me the number. I headed directly up once I got to the hotel. I made excellent time by the way and now feel incredibly guilty because G said it took him about an hour and 20 minutes to get there and well … it took me 20 minutes. Sorry again, G.

    So G greeted me and introduced himself. Awkward for both of us. Then he started kissing me. Now, I asked him if anybody told him he was a good kisser. He said he didn’t know. I told him I was saying “YES”. Good kissers are generally good in bed from my experience. Really, I was taking a chance but I was glad when he started kissing me and I immediately started to get wet.

    We started to undress each other and I could feel that he had an erection pretty much right away. Another turn on and G I forgot to mention that you have a BEAUTIFUL dick!

    Once we got our clothes off, he immediately went down on me. Can I tell you that this guy had talent? Hey, isn’t that the name of a television show? He knew just where to run his tongue and it felt amazing. All I could think was “Dude, what the fuck is wrong with your wife?!”

    OH MY GOD! I totally forgot to mention that G had an accent! I LOVE accents !!! At first I couldn’t place it. Was it Russian? German? Turns out it was Greek/Lebanese. His voice ran right through me as well as his eyes. He had beautiful blue eyes and I looked directly into them whenever I could. He kept telling me to smile and all I kept thinking about was how good he felt and “What the fuck is wrong with your wife?!”

    He kept asking me what I was thinking and I kept telling him that I wanted his dick inside of me in the worst way but he held off. It was a tease and a turn on but I wanted it. When he finally agreed, it did in fact feel amazing. He made a comment about me being wet. Well DUH! Dude, you were doing all the right things to me!

    He just kept flipping me from side to side. I got on top of him which by the end, was determined to be our favorite position for the day. I think the condom sort of spoiled it for him and I am regretting now not picking them up myself although I would have probably gotten the same kind. We lay in bed after we both came … him once and me several times. I think he was questioning whether I came or not. G I CAME okay?!?! You were amazing what can I say!

    It was surprisingly nice, lying in bed and chatting. He told me about his family and about his job. I told him about mine. I lay there thinking that I was comfortable, I liked this guy and was completely turned on by him. At one point, he said to me “So what are you going to write about this in your blog?” and I thought that was funny because that is pretty much what I was wondering myself.

    I promised to be “kind” mainly because it was a wonderful experience for me and even though I told him I had fun, I am not sure that he believed me. So G if you are reading this, I hope you believe me now. Sadly, the encounter had to end. It was several hours that I had stolen for myself and I enjoyed them entirely.

    I asked G if he would be online tonight. He said probably not and we started talking about sports only to come to the realization that he is a Yankees fan and I of course am a Phillies fan.

    Oh, G and I was beginning to think the day was nearly perfect.
    And I wonder what G is thinking of now.


    This article has been republished with permission from Kitty.
    Please visit Kitty’s blog to view the original post and more of her posts here thesecretlifeofnaughtykitty.blogspot.com


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  • The Amateur Prostitutes in Japan

    The Amateur Prostitutes in Japan

    Not many people talk publicly about prostitution in Japan, although it has become a big social issue. These days, online prostitution and matchmaking cafes have caught a lot of attention. It seems that online prostitution has been the subject of debate in many countries. That’s the case with Japan.

    Related:

    Many amateurs resort to prostitution at dating sites because of poverty or other various reasons. Government surveys show one third of young and unmarried girls suffer from poverty today. The current going rate is roughly 20,000 yen. I think it’s neither expensive nor inexpensive, and it’s a very good price.

    Women prostitutes try to get things done as soon as possible. They make various efforts to shorten the time to spend with customers. For example, just after entering a room, they contact someone and ask them to e-mail them in around 20 minutes. Their cell phone rings and they tell a lie that they have to go back immediately because of this or that.

    Details of online profiles are filled with lies. Many women seem to think that after meeting in person, few things matter. On the other hand, you could encounter an attractive women without any lie on the net for such prostitutes are a rare bunch of individuals. Anything goes.

    There are also some news reports on organized online prostitution. First, they gather women; it’s not clear how they do so. Then, they post comments on bulletin boards of dating sites like PCMAX, Happy Mail or 194964, in order to attract possible customers. These sites have millions of users and their boards are updated every two or three minutes. Just one post becomes unseen by others in an instant. They have to post countless comments all day, day in and day out in order to get attention. Of course, women don’t want to stuck to such a boring job. They take the place of them and tell them where to go, and then get kickbacks when they come back.

    As a matter of fact, several years ago, a teenage girl was arrested for running an organized online prostitution. She forced younger girls to sell their bodies and even trained them to improve their skill of blowjob skills using bananas. It might sound imprudent, but I thought she was great. You could say that she knew the importance of marketing and customer satisfaction, and successfully operated a business. Reports read that she earned several million yen.

    In addition, matchmaking cafes made the news a few years ago. They still have been doing business openly today. The current laws can’t deal with them. First of all, women wanting to meet someone enters a cafe, which has a spacious female-only room where snacks and soft drinks are free. There are some cameras in there so that male customers can look through to choose who to go out with. When they find an attractive girl, they tell the staff in order to have a chat with her in a private room. In most cases, women ask them how much they can pay or suggest a desired price. When the deal is done, men have to pay a close fee to the cafe. They could just dine together, and some seriously want to meet a partner. However, most of them try to do prostitution as they are in need of cash.

    The cafes claim that they just provide places to meet others, and that they have no intention to facilitate wrongdoing. Otherwise, you can meet pimps fairly easily at places dense with sex establishments. If you’d like to meet them seriously, you might walk around there just after midnight. Every single sex clubs with a front desk have to close exactly then. They have women ready. The night is not over yet. They see possible customers walking around. Who cares? Just a little bit would be fine…

    On the other hand, big groups don’t think like that, but some small business owners seem to do so. Prostitution has always been around and the sex business won’t disappear. You can start it with modest resources. It targets a very strong desire. It’s often said in Japan’s sex industry that “when one goes broke, two launch anew.” The total number of clubs don’t decrease and I guess the adult world will continue to flourish inconspicuously.


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  • The girl behind the glory hole—Part II

    The girl behind the glory hole—Part II

    Read Part I of The Girl Behind the Gloryhole here

    Mike had said “no talking,” and at first I thought that meant we had to remain completely silent. No, it just means no long conversations. Three cocks into my first day, and a tap on the door from Deirdre would let me know I’d already had my first complaint. I didn’t tell the last guy what a massive, handsome prick he had, and the best-tasting helmet I had ever had in my mouth. “They like that kind of thing,” she laughed. “And they leave bigger tips as well.”

    So after that, every cock that I sucked was … well, you can imagine. And if two came in together (and I got my first of those that lunchtime), then both of them were so hot and hard that “I wish I had two mouths so I could taste you both at once.”

    I learned to make sounds in the back of my throat, moans of pleasure, of hunger, of greed. Well, I didn’t exactly learn; I already knew how to do that. I’d just never thought about it in the past, because they always came out naturally. Now, I conjured them out of nowhere, and they all added to my customer’s delight.

    There are the guys who tell you precisely where they want to cum, and it’s your job to make them believe they have done so. “So sweet on my tongue … so thick on my face … it’s dripping from my nipple s…” —and more than once I’ve laid it on so thick (figuratively speaking—unlike Cass, I always fill the waste bin) that a sucked soft cock is suddenly coming back to life, and the first time that happened, I was jerking him in one hand while hanging out the cubicle door, asking one of the other girls what do I do?

    Give him a freebie? Ask for straight CASH? Neither. Press the other buzzer, and someone would come and explain the situation to him nicely. You’ve already had what you paid for. If you want it again, you pay up again. And, like I said, they explain it nicely. This one paid again, and yeah, he left a great tip as well.

    The MONEY

    Compared to some of the places I’ve heard about, Mike is a saint. Thirty percent of what the customers pay goes to the house. But the other seventy goes to the girl. There’s more than one joint in this same town that flips those percentages completely, but Mike has so many other sidelines running here as well, from the coffee shop out front (the original cafe), to the liquor in the back room, the peep show and dirty films, and probably a few lines I don’t want to know about, that he can afford to be a generous employer. As for tips, we throw into a communal bowl and divide them up at the end of each shift. On a good week, I can earn my next month’s rent; in a good month, I can pay off half a term’s tuition.

    Hygiene

    We get plenty of mouthwash with a brandy infusion. For obvious reasons, condoms and dental dams are forbidden, unless the customer specifically asks for them—and one or two do. But baby wipes are not out of place and we all get checkups on a regular basis, for our sake and for the customers’. I’ve only ever had one case where a dick looked like it might not be as healthy as it ought to be (no, you don’t want the details) so I pressed the buzzer, the other buzzer, and whatever transpired on the other side of the wall was said softly and persuasively enough that I never heard another word about it.

    Problems

    Well, there are the ones that Deidre warned me about, the ones who don’t feel they got their MONEY’s worth, or demand their money back altogether. Mike handles them. The ones we’re on our own with are, to put it gently, the gents who are either so excited, or so nervous (and occasionally, so out of shape or otherwise ailing) that they can’t get an erection to begin with.

    Those are the ones we talk to sweetly, softly, try and coax them into some kind of life with loving words, and it’s surprising how often that works. Or you suckle on their softness for a while and … I didn’t even know this was possible, but it’s a lot more common than you might think; you bring them to orgasm without them even attaining a decent erection.

    Or there are the poor souls who really are a lost cause and you send them away disappointed because there is nothing else you can do. But you know what’s strange? They are often the best tippers of all. They may not have got what most guys come for, but maybe they got what they needed the most, which is a few words of sympathy, a few words of affection, something that helped them see that their dysfunction is not the end of the world.

    And if they should return a few days or weeks later, and mention that their last visit prompted them to go see their doctor, and he was able to fix their little problem, then that’s just terrific. I’ll be honest, I’m not a fan of little blue pills and things; I’d rather see someone get help for the problem, and not get fobbed off with some chemical that will mask what’s really happening. If I can point someone in one direction rather than the other … well, let’s just say, those are often the occasions when I enjoy my job most of all.

    And enjoyment is important. I said before, I view my work as a series of transactions; the customer’s need being fulfilled by a capable professional. But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that at least a couple of times every shift, which means four or five times in each working day, I am confronted by a cock that I could happily take home and make a fuss over all night.

    I like the middle-aged ones the best. It surprised me just how quickly I learned to tell them apart. Some of the girls say a cock is a cock, but they are either lying or they are jaded. For me, every penis is different and while I’ve definitely trained myself to see the good points about each, there are those where my training just goes out of the window and I feel like a first-timer all over again. Sucking not because it’s my job and I want a good tip, but because I want to make its owner feel good, because doing so will make me feel good too.

    The first time I ever orgasmed purely from the excitement of giving head, I was with a college boyfriend in his car on a road trip some place, and I put it down to the thrill (not to mention the insane illegality) of sucking cock in a moving vehicle. Now I know different. It doesn’t need to be the right circumstances. It needs to be the right cock.

    So even on those days when, to put it bluntly, blowing strangers really is the last thing I want to be doing with my time, at the back of my mind there is always the caveat—until the right stranger comes along. Because then, it’ll be the only thing I want to do, and my only regret is the time-wasting rule. Mike wants them in and out in ten minutes. Sometimes, it’s been fifteen and I’m still only just getting started.

    But never, ever mix business with pleasure. Nobody knows that I work here; none of my friends even knows this place exists. I would never date a customer, or even give him a clue as to who I am … their fantasy, whether they know it or not, is the disembodied mouth and voice on the other side of the glory hole, who will give them what they need without question or qualm. And mine … well, my fantasies are that I’ll keep on loving my job for as long as I need the money, and if I’m lucky maybe for a while after that.

    We all need to work, to eat and pay rent, and most of the jobs in the real world today seem determined to keep you on your knees till the day you retire. And given the option of sucking figurative ass or literal cock … well, I made that decision eight months ago.


    This article has been republished with permission from Chrissie Bentley


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  • The girl behind the glory hole—Part I

    The girl behind the glory hole—Part I

    The Cafe Aphrodite is not one of the city’s best known attractions, even among the red light crowd. For a start, we’re well off the beaten track, a couple of bus rides from where the rest of the action is, and even the taxis don’t like heading this far out. Our neighbors are no more glamorous than the newsstands, groceries, and broken down repair stores that the fringe of every city is overrun with. Our clientele are more likely to be bored laborers, passing shoppers and curious college kids than high rolling city slickers and businessmen.

    This probably explains how the place has been here so long. Across the rest of the city, across the rest of the country, the police have been closing the clip joints and strip bars faster than the girls can open their legs. But Mike’s been running this place for nine years and never been busted once.

    Which is great, because this is the best job I’ve ever had.

    I was expecting at least the rudiments of an interview, the day I finally plucked up the nerve to answer the vaguely worded advertisement at the back of the local free paper; decode the shadowed suggestions and hints that the dark voice who answered the phone let slip; and then show up at the cafe one wet afternoon. Yes, I was expecting an interview. Instead, I got a lecture. A very, very short lecture, because he’s not a man to use three words when a simple grunt will suffice. But, a lecture nonetheless.

    “Three rules. No talking, no time wasting, and no mess on the floor. Spit, swallow, smear it on your skin, I don’t care what you do. But I don’t want to see any cum on the carpets, none on the walls, and none on your clothes. Any questions?”

    I shook my head. He’d already shown me to my “office,” as he called it, a three foot square cubicle with pale lilac walls and, at varying heights on three of them, a series of holes. Through which the johns would poke their peckers, in expectation of the time of their lives. There was a pair of identical cubicles on either side, each one servicing three more walls worth of guests apiece. On a busy night, I imagined this as one of the happiest houses in town!

    “First few times, you’ll probably only be able to handle one at a time,” Deidre (a pseudonym), a forty-something bleached blonde, told me as I sat sipping coffee before my first shift began. “Give it a couple of days, though, and you’ll have three on the go at a time, one on each wall, and all three of them will believe that they’re the only man in the world. Assuming,” she added, “you’re any good.”

    She paused. “So are you?”
    “What?”
    “Any good?”

    I think I must have flushed a little, because her eyes softened and she smiled a little. “I think so…” I began, and she interrupted with a laugh. “You’ve never had any complaints yet, right?”

    “Right,” I smiled back.

    “You won’t get any here either. Or, at least, not many. There’s always the odd guy who will kick up a fuss, saying he didn’t cum hard enough, or you brought him off too quickly. But Mike deals with them, and they don’t complain for long. Most of our customers, they’re so happy to get a pair of lips around their cock, they wouldn’t know a ‘good’ blow if you spent all night giving tongue baths.

    “No, what I mean by good is—you’ve got to be quick. And you’ve got to be able to move around quickly. One night I had five cocks at once, all sticking through those holes like it was the most urgent thing in the world, and it was my job to agree with them.”

    “Five?” But there are only three walls, I was going to say, but Deirdre beat me to it. “They double up. Two guys staggering home from the bar, drunk and horny … they just bundle into a cubicle together and don’t think anything of it.”

    I tried to picture the scene from my angle, one dick at mouth height, the other in my hair … my god, you could get whiplash trying to please them both. But Deirdre just laughed, a warm sort-of-cackle, and started laying out a side of the job I had never even thought of.

    Mike did not offer any health benefits. But it had some, regardless. “It’ll save you a fortune in skin care products. If you grind your teeth or have TMJ, sucking cock is the greatest exercise in the world. I know, because it worked for me. And if you ever want to give up smoking …” she nodded at the Newport I’d lit up … “Well … it’ll help you out there as well. Every time you feel like a cigarette, just suck some cock instead.”

    I stubbed out my cigarette.

    “You’re up.” The door to the cubicle in front of me opened, and an absolutely stunning woman stepped out, looking like she’d just spent the day relaxing at the spa. In fact, she’d just spent three hours on her knees, but her skin glowed, her hair shone, her eyes danced and her smile flashed.

    Deirdre introduced me, and the girl, Cass, inclined her head, and then stood aside as I rose and walked into the cubicle. I looked around. Just as Mike said, the room was spotless; not even a balled-up tissue or two in the wastepaper basket, and the little hand basin was sparkling too. I adjusted a few of the cushions that were scattered on the floor, then took a deep breath and pressed the little buzzer that let the front desk know I was ready to begin.

    Okay. You’re probably wondering what sort of girl would willingly sign up to spend six hours day (in two shifts of three), five days a week, on her knees in a box sucking stranger’s cocks? Well, I’ll tell you.

    I’m twenty-eight, and I’m putting myself through college. So I need the money, and this pays well. Better than waitressing, better than dancing, better than stripping and, from what I’ve heard, better than whoring. I enjoy sex, of course I do. But I also see sex for what it is, as opposed to what we all dream it is. A physical transaction between two people, one who wants to get his rocks off, and one who is willing to help him.

    I love giving blowjobs, that‘s true. But sucking off strangers is very, very different to sucking off my boyfriend, or someone I’m involved with. Or even know. It’s not a love thing, it’s not a lust thing, and it’s not even a desire thing. It’s just … a thing. With someone you have feelings for, it can be the most intimate act imaginable. With someone you don’t know from Adam, it’s no different to giving them a massage. In fact, it is a massage, in a way. A part of your body is in contact with a part of theirs and if you can overlook the fact that it’s your mouth and their penis, as opposed your hands and their shoulders (and you can overlook it, a lot faster than you’d expect), it really isn’t that big a deal any longer. And if that makes you look at me with different eyes or not want to hear any more of my story, then that’s up to you.

    I suck cock for a living and I love my job. But that doesn’t mean I have to love every cock that I suck. I don’t love every drop of semen that they pump onto my hand, face, or onto my tits or anywhere else. I just need to pretend that I do.

    Part 2 of Chrissie’s glory hole experience continues here 


    This article has been republished with permission from Chrissie Bentley


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  • Why Asking Me How to Be a Sex Worker is Annoying For Me, and Bad for You

    Why Asking Me How to Be a Sex Worker is Annoying For Me, and Bad for You

    We all complain about it on a regular basis. Yet the questions keeps pouring in. “Tell me how to be a cam girl!” “Tell me how to be a stripper!” “Tell me how to be a full-service sex worker!” While my experience is mostly in “Tell me how to sell my nude photos/masturbation clips!” we all hear all of the above constantly. And now I am here to shine a light on why it’s not only terribly annoying for us, but also why asking us is pointless for you, and a waste of both of our time.

    The first thing people need to understand is that no two sex workers have the same experience. None. Just because I make as much doing sex work as I do at my vanilla job doesn’t mean you will. Just because I can balance sex work, a vanilla job, and going to a university doesn’t mean you’ll be able to. Just because I’ve branched out my sex work into several different directions doesn’t mean you will. There’s nothing wrong with you if you don’t do the same things I do, or make as much as I do, but you do need to understand that you and I aren’t going to have the same experience, and that’s a crucial aspect of being a sex worker.

    Asking me how much I make in an average month is not just rude—it’s useless information. It will in no way determine how much you will make and it’s kind of a ridiculous question. There is no “average” for me. I make as much as people spend. This isn’t a vanilla job, and I’m not guaranteed to make anything at all. Please consider how it feels to be at the other end of the computer screen with someone asking you for your income for the previous two years. Please consider how rude that is. I know it’s not always intentionally rude, but that tone will always exist, regardless.

    Another thing people need to understand is that just taking my niche and trying to market it not only makes you come off as someone who can’t be creative by yourself, but it’s very unlikely you’re going to make sales that way. I had someone come to me talking about how they want to use “Kvlt” in their model name, and I was blown away. To me, that just screams “I’m taking what you’ve already built and am going to remarket that because I believe it will get me more sales.” And I can guarantee you: stealing concepts/niches from other sex workers will not earn you instant success, and in fact, will make people a lot less likely to buy from you. Why would someone want to buy from someone who just steals ideas from the original creator of those ideas?

    The same goes with content ideas. You wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve put a set or video up for sale, only to see another sex worker, or sometimes multiple sex workers, put up the same exact thing. Even if the content itself isn’t that original, to put up the same thing an hour or two after another sex worker, once again, is not the way to go about this business. Be creative! It’s unlikely you’ll make very many sales on ideas stolen from other people.

    And perhaps even worse than all of that, the dreaded question, “How do I get started?” I’ve seen this question rise more and more the more I’ve been on Tumblr and every time, it baffles me. No one coached me into sex work. I figured out everything by myself, made mistakes, did everything on my own. I would say “use Google,” but even that shouldn’t be necessary. In the two years of being a sex worker, I’ve never Googled how to do anything. Everything I’ve done, I’ve figured out by myself and I think that I’m doing fairly well considering. Honestly, if you need someone to coach you into how to be a sex worker, this is not the industry for you. Especially working independently. If you won’t take the time to figure out the ins and outs of this industry, then you definitely aren’t going to take the time necessary to be successful in this industry. It may sound harsh, but it’s the truth.

    I’ve seen so many girls come into sex work and fade away just as quickly. They’re the kind of people who put up one video, never advertise, and wait for the money to roll in, and that’s just not going to work. When people send their laundry list of questions about becoming a sex worker, it’s usually also met with the final sentence, “I’m hoping to make money really quick.” Well, you’re probably not going to make money really quick. Newbies in the sex industry really need to get that idea out of their heads asap, or they’re very likely to be disappointed.

    Similarly, I’ve received questions like “I’ve been doing sex work for about a month now, and I’m so upset because no one’s buying anything!” Sex work is not an industry of instant success and if no one’s buying anything after a month, that doesn’t mean you suck as a sex worker. It means you’re in an industry where people aren’t always going to buy your content, and that’s just a fact. If you drop out a month in because no one has bought anything, you probably weren’t going to make it very long in sex work, anyway. And there’s of course the questions that need to be asked: Have you even advertised your content at all? Just posting it once on Tumblr and then nothing else isn’t really advertising. Please keep that in mind.

    There’s also the new sex workers who ask me for a list of where I’ve gotten every article of clothing I’ve worn in all the content I’ve sold. Please don’t just wear the same things other sex workers wear. While I understand some of us are going to wear the same lingerie sometimes and that’s fine, purposefully trying to sell content in the same things I wear after asking me for a list of where I got everything is just lazy. Look for original stuff yourself. Please.

    What this really boils down to is that a lot of new sex workers want those of us who have been doing this for a while to hold their hands down the path of selling sex. Well, most of us aren’t going to do that. And if someone does, it’s unlikely their advice will help you, and in fact, their advice is more likely to damage your future career. Figure it out on your own. For the sake of us, and for the sake of yourself, figure it out on your own.


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  • 6 ways to Connect Intimately in a Long Distance Relationship

    6 ways to Connect Intimately in a Long Distance Relationship

    Long distance relationships have been difficult for many couples, especially when it comes to being intimate with one another.

    With the invention of Facetime, Skype, and other ways to interact visually it has helped many couples communicate face to face but it still leaves the body without being touched.

    The loss of intimacy that happens when in a long distance relationship, can be difficult. One way to help couples stay connected and enjoy sexual pleasure is to find a way for both of them to interact with one another without the other person having to be physically present. The idea is for each person to be sexually stimulated by their partner without their partner touching them. This is now a possible in a world where technology is being utilized by people in all areas of life.

    In 2012 Chen, a 27-year-old marketing major from Taiwan, came up with a novel idea to experience intimacy long distance. He invented LovePalz, a gender-appropriate sex toy that conveniently works with an iPhone or other mobile device.

    Chen describes it as a “Wi-Fi-connected love machine that lets both the top and the bottom stimulate some sexy time.”

    The two gadgets—Hera, which is designed for women; and Zeus, more for males—produce sensation and motion “in real time” via an Internet connection, according to the LovePalz website.

    “When I was studying abroad, my girlfriend and I were apart and had a long-distance relationship, sex wasn’t something we could achieve,” he told ABCNews.com. “So I thought, why can’t we have something that can help us spike up our relationship when we are not around each other?”

    Since then the sex toy industry has caught on and invented many new toys with apps such as We-Vibe® 4 Plus where couples can connect in new and exciting ways. Her partner through the phone app, can tease her, and play with her until he is ready to watch her orgasm with the push of a button.

    One of the newer sex toys on the market that can be fun at any time is the OhMiBod vibrator, place it in her panties or his briefs and let the games begin … This Bluetooth enabled, wearable massage is discrete and can be worn at any time, making a playful moment between the couple a welcome surprise. The idea is to keep your partner guessing as to when you will be sending them a love vibration. This is one fun way to stay mentally and physically connected when not in each others company.

    The Idea is to:

    CONNECT over long distances to control your partner’s vibration from anywhere!

    ENJOY five different control modes while connected to your iOS or Android device

    FEEL an insane array of vibration patterns

    EXPERIENCE your partner’s vibe with an iconic blue heart that blinks and throbs in real-time to sync with the vibrations they are feeling

    CONTROL the intensity of the vibration patterns within each functional mode simply by adjusting the volume on your device

    INTENSIFY the experience with in-app sexting while you play


    This article has been republished with permission from Dr. Dawn Michael.


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  • Under Pressure to Perform During Sex

    Under Pressure to Perform During Sex

    So my name is Jakeb Arturio Braden and I have been writing articles and vlogging for many years now on the issues that affect my gay and bisexual brothers.

    So I am bearded and masculine and would classify as a bear of sorts and I have been and seen a lot of changes in things over the past 23 years since I first came out as gay.

    I enjoy sex, good sex, horny sexy feeling that deep connection with another man. I can’t help but think though that as gay and bisexual men we may put too much value in it as a way of expressing ourselves and connecting to each other. Especially in the bear community, every Bear film, photoshoot etc seems to always depict that sex is easy to come by. Always horny and we’re always ready for action at the drop of a hat. I recently watched Bear City 2 and Where the Bears Are Season Three.  Both these showed a parade of hot bears having porn style sex etc. Yes, Iain Parks is horny and physically my ideal bloke even though there are many sexy blokes in Where the Bears Are.

    Now I am not saying that this is necessarily a bad thing! I can’t help but wonder if we put ourselves under undue pressure in regards to our sex lives; what and how sex should be. Perhaps having unfair expectations of ourselves and our sexual partners. I am amazed at how many times guy lose interest because I am not going to turn up at their homes and perform like a porn star. Instant gratification much? Personally, I find the build up as much fun as actually having sex.  What is this really about? Have we really as a community just become a porn film or stereotype forced on us by the Gay Media?

    What is wrong about wanting a bit more from sex? Wanting a sense of connection.

    I am sure that actually, the intense passion and abandonment is more likely with someone you have spent some time to get to know than with someone you feel pressurised to “perform” for!  I’m not saying that it has to be all hearts and flowers, yet don’t we owe it to ourselves and each other to treat each other with a bit more respect than purely seeing each other as sexual objects?


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  • Celebrating Male Chastity Day

    Celebrating Male Chastity Day

    Today is International Male Chastity Day.  You may not have known that because, last I checked, they’re still not selling cards for it in the grocery store and it hasn’t been made a bank holiday (yet).  Sort of like Grandparent’s Day (which is also a thing, at least in the US).  The motivation behind Male Chastity Day may have been equal parts commercial and sincerity.  In 2014, UK-based fetish shop UberKinky picked February 15th (http://www.uberkinky.co.uk/blog/2014/01/30/international-male-chastity-day/) to celebrate male chastity (and maybe sell a few chastity devices along the way).  While 2015 is only its second year of existence, male chastity enthusiasts (such as myself) have embraced it.

    “Male chastity” is typically defined as locking a man’s cock up in some kind of device so he can’t derive any pleasure from it at all, let alone have an orgasm.  Though there are practitioners who choose to use only the iron will of their determination to maintain their chaste state.  It’s a misconception that men in chastity aren’t having sex.  That’s not at all true.  The main reason to practice male chastity is because, when done properly, it leads to greatly enhanced intimacy between partners and, indeed, really fantastic sex.  Just as long as your definition of sex doesn’t necessarily involve one partner fucking the other and/or coming at the end.

    My wife and I have been using male chastity in our marriage for more than seven years.  Over those years, I’ve been locked up easily more than 75% of the time and have had significantly fewer orgasms than my unlocked peers (one year, I only had three).  But, I have also had some of the best sex of my entire life and am closer now to my wife than at any time in our relationship, even counting when we first met and right after we got married.  Some people use chastity situationally or in a scene.  Not us.  It’s an integrated dynamic in our relationship.  As fundamental now as anything can be between two people.

    It’s not an easy bargain to make.  In a real way, chastity asks a man to give up the most basic of those things that define his masculinity.  Namely, access to and use of his penis.  It makes him stop and really think about how he can pleasure his partner in ways not involving him sticking his parts into theirs.  I recall when my wife and I first started having sex this way and how hard I had to think about her, and my hands and my mouth and all the other secondary sex organs I had at my disposal, and how they could interact with her body in new and interesting ways. But in doing so, I became a much better lover.  Much more in tune with her desires and her pleasure.  And, the longer I was denied my own orgasm or access to my own body, the more her desires and pleasure became my sole focus in love-making. Her orgasm became my ultimate goal.

    But I never felt as though I was missing anything.  In fact, the most fascinating aspect of being denied an orgasm is how it starts to become self-perpetuating.  How addictive the hormones of denial are and the salubrious affects they can have on one’s relationship. I felt younger and more alive when I stopped coming regularly.  I felt far more connected to my wife and more invested in our relationship.  That’s another thing about chastity and orgasm denial: It’s often the male partner’s idea but, once established, his partner can become even more invested in continuing than he is.

    I don’t think male chastity is for everyone, but I do think the benefits are that more couples could benefit from trying it than they do so today.  What better day than International Male Chastity Day to try it with your partner?


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  • Making A Sex list For Valentine’s Day

    Making A Sex list For Valentine’s Day

    Many people have a bucket list of things they want to do before they die. Well I think even more important than that would be to have a sexual bucket list or sex list, if you will. So bear with me while I try to give you some ideas on things you can add to your own sex list and no, that does not mean I am giving you my personal list. A girl has to keep some secrets, doesn’t she?

    Let’s start right off with a big one which is on many guy’s (and believe it or not, many girl’s) minds … How about talking to your partner about becoming a swinger? There are a lot of resources out there, such as my site, to help guide you through this big decision, and it is not to be taken lightly. Both partners must be willing to try swinging or it will just not work.

    Now let’s say you are already a swinger, or maybe just quite adventurous. One thing you may not have tried yet is to be part of an Orgy. Yes, I’m talking about having sex in a group situation. According to Wikipedia, “an orgy is a sex party where guests freely engage in open and unrestrained sexual activity or group sex.” Sounds good to me! Having an orgy is a common sexual fantasy, so why not add it to your Sexlist and work on making it a reality?

    If an orgy sounds too intimidating, how about trying a threesome? Even if you don’t have a same sex fantasy, there are other options available. A threesome can be two “straight” girls concentrating their sexual prowess on one guy, with no interaction between the ladies. Same can be said for two guys with one girl. Everyone can still have lots of fun, trust me. Oops, did I let out one of my secrets?

    If you like to travel, let’s add going on a Swinger’s Cruise Takeover, where an entire cruise ship gets chartered just for one big party on the high seas. Not a water baby, then there are also resort takeovers which may tickle your fancy.

    If some of my suggestions so far have been a little bit out there for you to even consider, let me give you a couple of more traditional things you many want to try.

    How about trying some new sex positions? Admit it, the same old position all the time can get a little boring after a while, so let’s take it to the next level. If not a new position, let’s go for a change of scenery. Try it in the shower, on the living room couch (like when you were a teenager), or in the car. As they say a change is as good as a rest. Let’s be more sexually spontaneous, you won’t regret the reaction.

    Along with the new sex positions, how about we take a look for your (or her) g-spot? It’s in there somewhere, and once you find it your world will no longer be the same. I hope I’ve been able to ignite your sexual creativity, and you will come up with a VERY adventurous sex list. Please let me know what you come up with, I’m always looking to add to my list of things to do/try. 😉


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