Tag: LGBTQ

The invisible LGBT people in ASEAN: “This is our lives we are talking about!”

A transgender girl baring her breasts against the military coup in Thailand, marked with pro-democratic slogans and spreading her legs, Aum Neko has once again caused a social media fury for her civil disobedience methods. Along massive positive support, the transgender student was subject to attacks on her sexual orientation and identity. “Damn ladyboy” was just one of the softer comments on social networks. Around the same time, in neighboring Malaysia, 16 transgender women were sentenced to seven days in prison and a fine for “cross-dressing”. Human Rights Watch called it a “violation of their rights to freedom of expression and privacy”. This past June’s Pink Dot, LGBT rights rally, in Singapore saw a white opposition from Muslim and Christian religious groups, calling on people to wear white in protest. On a more positive note—the first public same sex wedding was held in Myanmar this spring and surprisingly, Vietnam’s communist government doesn’t seem as hostile to LGBT people than to other civil and human rights movement.

“It’s a mixed bag (in ASEAN)”, says Ng Yi-Sheng from the Singaporean Committee of ASEAN SOGIE Caucus, campaigning to include LGBT (IQ-intersex,questioning) rights in ASEAN’s human rights documents. “On one hand, we have countries where civil unions will probably soon be legal, such as Thailand. On the other hand, we have countries where (same sex relations) are punishable with death by stoning, such as Brunei. And then we have countries in between, like Singapore, where there is a moderate level of acceptance but still a law against gay male sex.” There is one thing though, that all ASEAN members have in common, and it illustrates the long way LGBT groups have in Southeast Asia to achieve basic human rights, regardless of sexual orientation and identity. “We don’t have national anti-discrimination or anti-hate crime legislation with only some city-level ones in the Philippines. This is what worries most of us, much more than marriage and adoption rights,”Ng Yi-Sheng points out. So how visible are LGBT people in Southeast Asia, and are ASEAN and its member countries members rather, turning a blind eye to their existence in the first place? Here is our evaluation based on NGO reports, ASEAN SOGIE Caucus and International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission (IGLHRC) analysis.

1. The safe havens: Thailand and Philippines

Thailand has been often called the number one ASEAN country for sexual minorities’ rights and acceptance, decriminalizing homosexuality as early as 1956. LGBT people from neighboring Laos, Cambodia or Burma would agree, often migrating to the “Land of Smiles” for a more positive life, free of fear and discrimination. Relatively tolerant to gays and lesbians, Thais are close to becoming the first in ASEAN to abolish ban on same-sex marriages. A sex change is possible here for a few thousand dollars and “kathoeys”— also known as transgender women—have become a popular part of entertainment industry as well as the vibrant sex trade. Nevertheless, Thailand remains more than stereotyped against transgender people. They are generally associated precisely with these ‘entertaining’ professions, extending only to beauty and fashion. Other sectors remain conservatively closed to “kathoeys”. Moreover, a study by UNESCO and Mahidol University from November 2013 found that a third of 2,000 LGBT students had been physically harassed and only a minority had shared their bullying experience with anyone, often resulting in depression and suicide attempts (7%). Analysts also point out that Thai government and authorities often play down hate crime against LGBT people as ‘love affair crime’. While in practice it means little, Thailand is the only ASEAN country supporting the UN declaration oF LGBT rights.

This two-faceness is present in the Philippines as well. Somewhat advertised around the world as one of the most ‘gay friendly’ countries, this is apparently a ‘sad misinformation’, says Professor Neil Garcia in IGLHRC’s research paper on the Philippines. The study concludes that hate crime, discrimination and violence against LGBT people are widely reported, but the lower end of justice system is cutting sexual minorities short of effective protection, especially because of lack of understanding by local authorities. Consensual homosexual relations, homosexuality and transgenderism are not illegal in the Philippines, but LGBTpeople are rather invisible to the legal system. Nationwide surveys have shown that only less than 14 percent of Filipinos approve of homosexual acts, but more than half of the respondents respect the right of person to be homosexual. Officially a secular state, mostly Roman-Catholic, Philippines therefore adopts the Vatican’s stance on LGBT people, but they are a bit more tolerant than that. “A strong activist scene is present there and general acceptance is more widespread,” concludes Ng Yi-Sheng from Singaporean Committee of ASEAN SOGIE Caucus.

2. Rising star and the hybrid: Vietnam and Singapore

Vietnam has jumped out of its label of the ‘least developed’ countries of ASEAN recently and rather quickly with enormous economic growth. While this is less true for human development or democratization, the LGBT movement has been one of the most effective amongst the increasing call for civil rights and internet freedom,. The communist government had been considering to abolish the ban on same-sex marriages since 2012, and has since then decriminalized same-sex weddings and allowed same-sex couples to live together. However, while the communist government is somewhat relaxed towards sexual minorities, the society remains conservative, says Ng Yi-Sheng from the Singaporean Committee of ASEAN SOGIE Caucus. “The route to civil unions is suggested, but general awareness remains low.” The biggest opposition against LGBT rights comes from Vietnamese Women’s Union, which sees same-sex marriage as a threat to traditional family values. And the challenge goes on, as homosexuality is still a taboo topic in the largely Confucian Vietnam.

The most developed country of ASEAN, Singapore, has been moving in-between the traditional tight legal grasp on society and aspirations of new civil freedoms. On 28 June 2014, Singapore held the sixth year of “Freedom to Love” LGBT rights rally. Last year’s ‘Pink Dot’, in honor of ‘little red dot’ a.k.a. Singapore, has been the largest gathering of civil society ever with more than 21, 000 people attending. The general tolerance against LGBT people is on the rise especially among young generation of Singaporeans. “The acceptance is growing, but laws are bad,” says Ng Yi-Sheng. As a former British colony, Singapore inherited the ‘sodomy law’, outlawing sex between men. Two gay men challenged the penal code as unconstitutional in 2007, but after years of heated debate, it was upheld in the High Court last year. While the calls to abolish the sodomy law are increasingly more frequent, so is the push against them, coming mainly from growing evangelical congregations: a big lobby group that has a direct effect on opinion-making in Singapore. The ‘Pink Dot’ celebration this week is expecting a protest by white-wearing conservative religious groups—Christian and Muslim alike.

Part 2 can be read here http://simplysxy.com/articles/2014/07/05/the-invisible-lgbt-people-in-asean-part-2/

Part 3 can be read here http://simplysxy.com/articles/2014/07/06/the-invisible-lgbt-people-in-asean-part-3/

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July 5, 2014
Are Bert and Ernie Gay? 🙂

Bert and Ernie. Gay? Why is this important?

I was horrified to read years ago that Noddy and Big Ears were forced to deny ‘improper relationship’ in Toy Town. Not to be outdone, it appears that Bert and Ernie, the iconic residents (and roommates) of the long-running children’s TV series Sesame Street, have been ‘outed’ over their (assumed) sexual identity by no less than the New Yorker magazine in the wake of the US Supreme Court’s landmark ruling to overturn the Defence of Marriage Act.

In the cover image featured on the left, the couple are sitting on a couch with Bert’s arm wrapped around Ernie and Ernie’s head nestled against Bert’s shoulder. They are watching the Supreme Court decision granting same-sex couples the “equal liberty” guaranteed by the US constitution’s Fifth Amendment.

As the US grapples with serious economic and social challenges, the release of the cover image has provoked fierce debate, about the sexual orientation of this couple and the potential for litigation by Sesame Workshop—which owns the characters—against the magazine.

I loved the denial by Sesame Workshop back in 2007 opining: “[Bert and Ernie] are not gay, they are not straight, they are puppets. They do not exist below the waist.”

The characters Noddy and Big Ears and Bert and Ernie demonstrate friendship and conflict resolution in a manner that children can positively relate to. Is it really important that these characters have a label for their sexual orientation? Is the fact that these characters are friends not enough? Are these characters less educational, less relevant and potentially despicable if they exist below the waist?

What then is the optimum age to start to discuss the issue of sexual orientation with our kids?

I had an unexpected answer to this question during a recent visit to Israel; I was privileged to view a kindergarten session in a unique programme designed in collaboration with the national education system and the kindergarten departments in several city municipalities. In the gay centre in Tel Aviv, I was drawn to the delightful sound of children’s laughter as their male kindergarten teacher was blowing giant bubbles for the children to play with in the shade of the Meir Gardens next to the centre.

The notion that education begins in the kindergarten years takes on a real currency here as a team of psychologists, education counsellors, teachers and representatives of the education system have been developing a unique program, which would help kindergarten teachers’ deal with children who are raised in LGBT(lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender) families and acknowledge their special needs.

With LGBT parenthood on the rise, there is a need to introduce these new and non-traditional families to our community. Any child who is connected to general community media can see or hear discussion about gay marriage. Do we leave them to form their own opinions or do we step up to have conversations with our kids about respect for differences across the board? Do we introduce our kids to the possibility that they can like/dislike or agree/disagree with others while still enjoying mutual respect?

I believe that in a healthy society, it’s important to acknowledge that some children are part of a non-traditional family or are friends with other children from non-traditional families and to respect diversity while enjoying our individual sexual values.

As a psychosexual educator, parents often ask me how they can start conversations about sexual diversity with young children. I recommend, as a general rule, to trust kids to ask what they specifically want to know and to respond only to the questions they ask in basic terms. Once your child has processed that answer, and they have felt safe and respected to ask any questions, they will seek more information

Parents can use specific observations to help children understand differences such as comparison of different toes. Regardless of differences in sizes, shapes and colours of everyone’s toes, most people young and old, can still walk and play. Some people choose to decorate their toes and put them on display and others don’t. Grandma’s toes may hurt her at times but that doesn’t stop her from being loved and valued. Continue to build on that foundation to create discussions when opportune to raise differences in religious beliefs and traditions and the way different people express their love depending on their sexual identity or personality profiles.

When parents role model their own respect for differences and respond thoughtfully to occasional confusion over something new and different, they will allow their child to feel safe to explore their growing world and engage in further talks about sexuality.

I realized there was a need for a 21^st century tool to help parents and teachers manage the new challenges in communicating sexual respect and diversity. I wrote the sex education app for iPad ‘Parents, Tweens and Sex’ and designed it in collaboration with Swinburne University Design to support parents to have these confronting sexual conversations with their ‘tweens’ (10–13 year olds). I was motivated by my experience as a counselling psychologist and clinical sexologist and also as a parent to support other parents to be comfortable to have these conversations to enable them to share their personal values and ethics with their tweens.

One conversation starter in the ‘Parents, Tweens and Sex’ app examines the notion of ‘same, same but different’. In addition, it guides parents in discussions around choosing to celebrate people’s sexual differences while delighting in sameness. Go Bert and Ernie!

Images courtesy of Sarah Calleja, Kathy W

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June 28, 2014
Pink Pride

It is time to hit the gym and start eating healthy so as to look good for the different LGBT events that is happening in June 2014. This month’s calendar has suddenly become jam-packed with Shanghai Pride moving back to June and President Obama declaring June as LGBT Pride Month in the US. In anticipation for these events, let us review the top five moments for two major LGBT events that took place last year: Pink Dot and Taiwan Pride.

Pink Dot started around 5 p.m. and during this time you could find many laying down picnic mats, snacking on food and chatting with friends while basking in the evening sun. Just off the car park, there were booths of the different LGBT NGOs and event sponsors. If you took a walk around the park, you would be sure to stumble upon old friends. There were performances from various groups to entertain us and once the sky turned dark, everyone gathered towards the center of the park with their pink cellophane filters on their phones light for Pink Dot’s classic lit-up with an aerial photo shoot. There were about 21,000 attendees last year which was a record high for the Singapore LGBT event. Every year, the event gets bigger and this year will be no exception.

Taiwan Pride on the other hand began about 2 p.m. but the cool autumn breeze made the 4 km walk a joy. The parade route started and ended in front of Taipei City Hall. Passing by Sun Yat-sen Memorial and then going up Dunhua South before looping back to City Hall via Zhongxiao East. We saw many people dressed in sexy costumes, parade floats catering to different fetishes and people from varied walks of life striding side by side. When you have 60,000 people walking with you, the atmosphere is nothing short of electric.

Now for my personal top five moments of these two events.

Number five: There were a lot of hot and cute guys. I was surprised I did not get diabetes from all the eye candy. One advice for anyone attending these events for the first time is not to be shy. Please go up to anyone you like and say hello, take a picture, or get a number.

Number four: The Singapore flag flying pass during Pink Dot. Coincidentally on the very same day, the flight path of the Chinook carrying a giant Singapore flag for the National Day Parade rehearsal was over Hong Lim Park. The flag was accompanied by two Apaches which made it a truly marvelous sight to see.

Number three: Singing “Home” by Dick Lee after the Pink Dot light-up. Usually after the Pink Dot light-up, the event organizer will play the theme song for that year’s event. The song “Home” was last year’s song and it is a very emotional national song for many Singaporeans.

Number two: Taiwan Pride was just plain awesome. I could easily ramble on a list; walking with 60,000 people in the parade, the wonderful weather, having Taipei 101 in the backdrop, the people and the culture. You just have to be there in person to experience how magical Taiwan Pride can be.

Number one: Seeing the different minorities of the Taiwan LGBT community. Taiwan is much bigger in population then Singapore, which makes their LGBT minorities hard to remain unnoticed. During the parade, I had a chance to walk along many disabled LGBTs; some in wheelchairs and others born with birth defects. It really had me thinking about how difficult their life could be. It is not always fun and games in the LGBT community as there is a lot of discrimination within this unified rainbow. I empathized with them and realized how blessed my gay life has been.

Images courtesy of Pink Dot SG rally organizers © 2013 and Sahib Torun

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June 27, 2014
I Do, Do You?

Being a gay guy with quite a fair bit of failed relationships does not mean that the notion of marriage (or civil union or whatever you call it) does not cross my mind every once in a while. Not that I would picture myself in a wedding dress, but I do think about how my wedding ceremony and dinner will be like, what kind of band I am going to hire and what sort of food I am going to serve to my guests (yes, my guestlist is almost done with a few amendments). With each failed relationship, the dream wedding seemed to be further away, but I never did give up hope as I foresee my future with a partner till the end of time (or at least till death do us part).

Indeed, just merely two weeks ago, I was proposed to by my then-partner-now-turned-fiancé during our second anniversary celebration. Not really a tear-jerking moment or how I would have imagined it to be (there was no kneeling down or romantic scene and/or music playing at the background), but it served its purpose and I was touched, to say the least. However, many questions followed—Will there be a wedding? Should we start planning the reception now? Do we need to find a venue? Who can officiate at our wedding? Apparently according to my partner, the proposal is the ultimate peak of the relationship and we can now spend eternity together (I can almost hear the thunder in my head roaring). I pretty much guessed that there are fundamental cultural differences and misunderstandings between us (oh, did I mention that he’s Filipino and I am a true blue Singaporean).

A few of my close friends told me that since I have “chosen” this unconventional route of being with a guy, I would have to live without a wedding and that the marriage certificate is just a “piece of paper”. I gave them quite an earful, but not to the extreme. First of all, I did not “choose” to be with a guy as no one with a sane mind would choose a lifestyle where one has to struggle against peer pressure and social norms (basically to swim against the current just to find love). Second of all, I do not care about the certificate to be very honest, as I do not need the government to recognize the love I have for my man and vice versa. So why a wedding you ask? Simply because I want to share the joy and love of the holy matrimony with close friends and families and isn’t this what most weddings (regardless conventional or not) are about?

So like any good relationship’s advice, I “communicated” with thy fiancé and after extensive discussions with him, I can understand his reasons as to why a wedding is not in the line-up of events in our lives. He focuses on the more practical issues: saving up to get a place of our own and living happily ever after, as compared to “throwing” money into one big party with no practicality to speak of (now you know why I can marry this guy). Despite understanding his viewpoint, I feel that a wedding is still important (to me), even more so for a gay and interracial couple.

So as you are reading this article, I may have whispered enough in his ears to convince him of a mini wedding ceremony and reception. I may be a semi-closeted gay; I do need to put my head out once in a while to breathe in some fresh air.

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June 25, 2014
LGBTQ: Respecting Choices

Socrates and Plato made no bones about their homosexuality. Shakespeare and Michelangelo’s greatest love sonnets were addressed to young men and Julius Caesar was referred to as “every woman’s husband and every man’s wife”.

Few people refrain from acts of sexual gratification during their entire lives. While most experience sexual activities with members of the opposite sex, some partner with members of their own, and a small proportion interacts sexually with members of either gender. A number of others derive pleasure in putting on clothing generally considered appropriate for the other gender for reasons that include sexual satisfaction. Regardless of the types of sexual activities an individual may favor, most remain within their customary sexual preferences. A common myth asserts that one can readily identify adult male homosexuals based on their physically effeminate traits and lesbians based on their masculine appearances. In fact, most homosexuals display no distinguishable physical differences from heterosexuals. However, when they become socially visible—which many now do—the society in general makes the distinction because gays and lesbians are seen to perform homosexual roles. This has resulted in the marginalization of these individuals as they frequently become targets for social stigma and rejection due to their differences from the heterosexual orientation of the majority of society.

A good case in example is that of Angie Zapata who was brutally killed two weeks shy of her 19th birthday. She was beaten to death with fists and a fire extinguisher. Her killer, Allen Andrade, met her on the Internet and they decided that would meet for a sexual encounter. However, Andrade turned violent and struck her repeatedly when he discovered Zapata was biologically a man. He was charged with first degree murder of a transgendered person. During the trial, the jury listened to numerous jailhouse phone conversations, including him telling a girl friend that “gay things must die”. Andrade was subsequently found guilty and sentenced to life imprisonment.

Such continuing intolerance of alternative sexuality stems, in part, from historical roots as shown from extensively documented attitudes toward homosexuality from medieval times. Repression of homosexuals spread in the thirteenth century as an unanticipated consequence of organizational reforms in the church and class conflict in society. This was later fuelled by campaigns for celibacy that encouraged condemnation of sodomists along with witches.

Thankfully in recent times, the pitch of public disapproval of homosexuality and transgenders has declined markedly as celebrities such as Neil Patrick Harris, the ever flamboyant Elton John, Carmen Carrera, and Ellen Degeneres have come out of the closet amidst media scrutiny and are educating the public that their sexual preference is a conscious effort and that we all reconcile our lifestyles by our chosen and adopted set of values. Instead of trying to determine the science behind alternative sexuality and to correct the “deviant” gene, let us take this opportunity to celebrate Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Pride Month (LGBT Pride Month) this June and to embrace and respect our loved ones for the choices that they have made.

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June 24, 2014
How is Grindr Changing Gay Men’s Dating Culture?

For gay men active in the age of smartphone, installing Grindr on your phones seems to be a mandatory step to socialize with other gay men, or even meet your potential soulmates. Now in its fifth year and serving more than 5 million active users worldwide, Grindr has been dramatically transforming the dating culture for gay men. According to Vocativ, the app has been downloaded more than 10 million times since its launch in March, 2009. Its unique geolocating feature allows gay men to locate and interact with other peers in their area. It makes hookup or dating more convenient and often times, efficient than ever before.

As a young gay man who only started using this popular app six months ago, I have to say that while Grindr has completely changed my understanding of gay men’s dating culture, it also has me worried about its negative influences on our community as a whole. It’s common to see gay men browsing different profiles on their phone, trying to find the ideal person for a hookup or date. Due to the nature of this app, most profiles will contain either headless torsos or topless hunks in a sexy poses. In a way, Grindr provides a perfect forum for those who enjoy the comfort of secrecy. For the majority of those who use it as a hookup tool, Grindr is a virtual closet where they can have fun while keeping their identities unknown. Silly as I am, I choose to challenge the popular trend by putting a clear picture of me on my Grindr profile, with the subject line clearly announcing my wishful thinking of meeting friends or lifelong partners. I ended up receiving mostly silent responses or even someone telling me that Grindr is not a place for me.

What’s scarier are incidents where gay men were raped, robbed or even severely beaten or killed after meeting strangers found on Grindr. In the case of Dino Dizdarevic, the 25-year-old chemical engineer from Philadelphia who was viciously beaten and later strangled to death by a stranger he met on Grindr. When police found his body, Dizdarevic was already unrecognizable after the brutal assault. Incidents like this send warning signs to gay men, whether they use Grindr or not, about the dangerous nature of the app. With convenience and novelty comes the risk of turning yourself into a potential assailant or killer. While Grindr has benefited those who seek the short-term pleasure of hookups, it somehow leaves a negative impact on regular users like me, who now reconsider alternative options to socialize with other gay men. Fear of falling into traps, gay men might turn back to more traditional and reliable ways of socializing with other gay men. The uncertainty and risk reflect through Grindr’s convenience have planted the seeds of doubt and suspicion into gay men’s dating culture.

But will gay men stop using Grindr eventually? Probably not. The convenience displayed by Grindr has been favored by many loyal users. While risk remains high for active users, I believe self-awareness and caution will convince most of them to keep enjoying Grindr’s connection-making ability. After all, not too many apps can satisfy many of their desires through simply tapping on a profile you like and starting a chat. Over time, a more refined and sophisticated version of geolocating dating app could emerge to bring gay men’s dating culture to another level.

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June 23, 2014
Making Love vs Shagging

Matt-at-Lotus on a common dilemma we didn’t know we had

Once upon a time in a gay sauna somewhere on the outskirts of the Midlands, sex was taking place or rather something mysterious happened between myself and a stranger who to this day, I have no idea what his name is. I do know that he is from Leeds. If you are a guy reading this, you may well be giggling to yourself because you know that it isn’t that unusual to have anonymous (the clue is in the name) sex with someone and never even get to the exchanging of names, let alone numbers. Who cares? Well, about what a person is (name, job, etc) I don’t give a damn. About who they are—I’m in.

So allow me to paint you a pretty picture of this meeting of sweaty souls: I see the guy standing against the wall in the dark corridor of the sauna. He was, of course, wearing only a towel. I am pretty forward and impatient by nature so I simply nodded to him to follow me into the ‘rest room’ (the clue is not in the name) and we locked the door behind us. Then something amazing happened.

I lay on top of him. There was no penetration except for tongues in mouths. Our breath was laboured, bodies sweaty and spines on fire. We rhythmically moved in unison. No speaking, climax, sudden climax in unison and then, then—it happened: we both burst into tears.

I’m gonna give you a minute to process that …

Want to know what happened there? We made love. Simple. As. That.

No need for penetration. No props required. Just two guys (or souls, if you are that way inclined) sharing their nakedness on every level. We did not need to speak about the tears, we just lay there holding each other quite happily until we didn’t need to hold on anymore. Then we exchanged pleasantries (which is probably when I discovered he was from Leeds) and went our separate ways. I wasn’t left with the urge to marry him, stalk him or bum him.

I was left feeling content and, wait for it: completely sexually satisfied.

So, dear reader: making love or shagging?

That is entirely up to you.

Until next time …

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June 22, 2014
Top 5 Tips for Having Sex with A Transsexual
Adult Star Venus Lux shares her tips for having sex with a transsexual on SimplySxy!

As you all know, the world is always changing especially when it comes to sexuality. Sex has no color, age, race, or any prejudice. With so much accessibility to pornography via the internet, people are now more willing to explore untouched territory especially when it comes to sex with transgender women. Sex should never be hard but sometimes when it comes to something unknown, useful information from a professional can put you on the right track! These are my top 5 tips to approaching sex with a transgender woman.

1. Low expectations

Don’t get me wrong, having expectations are awesome! But to really have a good experience, it’s always best to know what you like but don’t expect your life fantasy to be all fulfilled in one instance. This is applicable both in life and in sex.

2. Research

Please do your homework and don’t hesitate to watch transsexual porn, so that you can get a better sense of what you like and what you may not. Along with understanding some of the sexual terminology such as (Greek, rimming, cuckold, missionary, creampie, top, bottom, etc). And if you are planning to be a bottom, understanding how to properly cleanse yourself for penetration is highly advised!

3. The meeting

Just like anyone else, always approach a transsexual with respect and common courtesy following the usage of proper address. You would hate to ruin the mood by calling a transsexual a man, gay, or a shemale. Like my friends say, “if the person is wearing a dress, address the person as a female”. Also, just because a transsexual may or may not have a penis, make sure you are sexually mutual beforehand. (Don’t hope to bottom if the girl isn’t into it)

4. Sexual courtesy

As a guy, maybe you don’t want to get a finger up your butt or get choked during sex. Of course, everyone should address their comforts and limits beginning and during sex. But if you plan to take on more of the power role in bed, always consider your partner’s needs if you want to continue the momentum. Below are some key tips about transsexuals:
- ask if you can touch their hair (Keep in mind of extensions)
- ask if you can touch their face (Some girls take pride in their makeup)
- ask if you can touch or suck their cock (Some girls like it, some don’t)
These are just a few side notes to think about.

5. The moment

I’m sure at this point, your cock is already throbbing. No worries! This is the time to enjoy yourself and to lose yourself in “the moment”. Be playful and try some new things. Be warned after the first time, you are just going to want more and better!

P.S. A transsexual can’t get pregnant but always play and think safe! Safe sex can still always be fun. For me, Trojan bareskin condoms and kiwi strawberry WET lube always does wonders!

Venus Lux has become one of the top transsexual performers in the industry in the brief two years she has been in the adult industry. Since joining the industry in 2012, Venus has established herself as an experimental and dynamic performer, shining in an array of noteworthy scenes with men, women and transsexuals. The busty bombshell has attained numerous nominations and awards including a nomination for Transsexual Performer of the Year in the 2013 and 2014 AVN Awards. Venus currently holds the 2014 XBiz Award for Transsexual Performer of the Year and was named XCritic’s “Must-See Girl of the Month” in March 2014. At the 2014 Tranny Awards, the multi-talented star took home three awards for Best Scene, Best Solo Website and Hardcore Performer of the Year. The Asian Goddess has also shown that she is a skilled businesswoman with the launch of her member’s website Venus-Lux.com, which stars some of the hottest adult starlets and is one of the few independently run websites for transsexuals. Venus writes a popular column for AIPDaily called “Venus Rising” where she shares her opinions and news in the adult industry. With multiple awards and several mainstream projects under her belt, it’s clear that this alluring performer isn’t going anywhere and it won’t be long before Venus Lux is a household name.

http://www.starfactorypr.com/venus-lux-bio.html
http://wwww.starfactorypr.com/venus-lux
http://www.Venus-Lux.com
http://twitter.com/VenusLux
http://instagram.com/VenusLux

Images courtesy of Venus Lux
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June 21, 2014
Are YOU Getting It?

Spilling the Beans from Inside the Sex Industry

I am going to say something controversial. Brace yourself. Before you brace yourself, allow me to introduce myself—I’m Matt Chase, my work name is Matt-at-Lotus. I am a sex worker (although I prefer to be called a ‘sexpert’, go on, please …) who gets paid to have sex with mainly men but this sometimes depends on, you know, wind direction and the like (wink wink). I’m also a writer and trained in therapeutic interventions including counselling and psychotherapy. Now, are you bracing?

Sex workers get paid to make love to their clients.

I told you I was going to say something controversial.

You see, I believe that you can make love on a one night stand. I also believe that you can pay for a lovemaking session and yes, I believe passionately that you can be paid to make love to someone. The thing about me is that I genuinely enjoy my job. As with all professions, some workers will just go through the motions for money and others will be doing the job of their dreams. I am doing the job of my dreams. Why? I am a man who gets paid to do what he loves to do—make love, teach guys how to have body orgasms (yes guys it is possible, call me), have sex (it’s slightly different from making love), massage sexually, share a laugh, have some fun, give some compassion and be a shoulder to lean on—everything I was born to do.

I have always been very highly sexed. I was born with an innate gift of empathy and I have always had a knack of knowing just what another wants and needs between the sheets (or on the floor, up against the wall … you get the idea). Sex workers, it seems to me, get a bum deal (pun intended) when it comes to exactly what the world at large thinks we get up to.

Actually, they have no idea.

Once upon a Christmas, I was at an ‘office party’—a gathering of sex workers at the annual party thrown by the guy who runs a well-known Escort Listings site—and the conversation of course, moved onto our work. “I always find the real session starts after the sex, that’s when I become the client’s therapist” … “I love the elderly clients who have only just found the courage to accept themselves as gay” … “My disabled client last week told me an escort had turned him away! That’s so unprofessional” … “I love being an escort, there’s no job like it” … and the comments continued rolling from my colleagues’ tongues as I proceeded to make mental notes, you know, being a writer and all.

The thing is, I have a confession to make. The Christmas party as mentioned was going to be my ‘goodbye and farewell’ to the industry as I prepared to concentrate on my ‘other’ lives of writing and doing odd jobs but then something happened. I fell in love all over again.

I fell in love with my colleagues; the most professional, respectful and genuine people you are ever likely to meet. I fell in love with my job; a job that has never bored me, has always been safer than my other jobs (I was attacked with a knife when I was a nurse, bullied by my boss as a therapist, I could go on …) and yes I have to admit, pays very nicely thank you. I fell in love with my rebellious nature for you have to have balls to do this job and stand tall in a world where all sex workers are tarred with the same stigmatised brush. I remember once when the trainer in the gym asked me what I did for a living. “I’m a sex worker”, I replied. The poor man almost fell off the treadmill.

What is it about sex that makes us so shy? Is it the sex? Or is it the intimacy? I say it again. Sex workers get paid to make love to their clients. Is it the make love bit that makes us so uncomfortable?

I can feel a cause coming on. I can sense a heat burning from within and no, it isn’t a bladder infection. It’s rage—passionate, soulful, society-changing rage. Why?

Because ‘they’ are trying to change the law.

The ‘powers’ from within the corridors of representation (yes people, we elect them to represent us) are attempting to manipulate the system in order to criminalise men and women who pay for sex.

So I say it again. Sex workers make love to their clients.

Oh there’s nothing wrong with sex, don’t get me wrong and yes I do see very clearly that I do work a little differently than most sex workers, but I am deliberately pushing a point here. You cannot legislate against human emotion. You cannot do it. You also cannot legislate in order to control other people according to your own inhibitions. Society as a whole should not be given the power to stigmatise an entire profession on the basis of how they appear to be. Hence, the reason as to why I have written this article that shows you how it really is for me and my colleagues.

Yes, there are many different aspects of prostitution and yes, there are serious issues such as exploitation, trafficking, drug use, among others that need addressing but there are already laws put in place to protect people from this (if it isn’t their choice) and there exist laws intended to protect children and vulnerable adults but they are not working. Introducing new laws—which equally will not work—has been challenged by academics, liberty groups and sex workers but their arguments are falling on deaf ears. A knee-jerk reaction by out-of-date governments is not the answer. It never was.

If you do what you always did, you get what you always got. Find another way. If you would like some help in finding another way, why not ask a professional sex worker for some advice? Because we probably know more than you do. No offence intended, but let’s get to the root of the problem here: ignorance.

I do the job I do because I am good at it. I am not female. I am not trafficked. I wasn’t abused as a child and I don’t use drugs. Well, apart from too much coffee but you gotta give me something …

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June 12, 2014
A Safe Space

When the term ‘gay lifestyle’ is mentioned, an image of intoxicated hot topless men dancing to the beat of David Guetta’s Titanium, comes to mind. Even though this imagery is not what the LGBT community would like to be stereotyped as, we need to acknowledge the importance of having a safe space for the community to let loose and just hang out.

A safe space is a place where the community can go to be who they are and not be judged by what they do. Many of these safe spaces exist in our society as gay bar and clubs. On 26 April 2014, PLAY, a popular Singapore LGBT club, had a One Night in Sentosa (O.N.S) event at Azzura Beach Club. The night was not shy of drag queens shows, party rockers downing Grey Goose on the dance floor and watchers ogling at man-cleavage while DJ Zack C brought the house down. Although the event was a success, we have to remember that PLAY closed down late last year. The key reason they closed down was due to high rental, which went up by 200%. Even though PLAY will reopen in a new location in the future, we still need to ask “Is the pink dollar strong enough sustain such a LGBT-centric business?” Are we doomed to lose our safe space due to the economy?

Taking a look around the Asia-Pacific region, many major cities have a thriving LGBT scene. Thailand is filled with gogo boy bars, saunas and an active clubbing scene. The acceptance of the community in Thailand makes it one of the top LGBT vacation spots. Recently, the country had their annual New Year festival: the Songkran festival. Songkran has become a ‘must go’ event on the pink calendar. Proclaimed as Asia’s biggest gay party—Song Kran 8—organised by gCircuit spans three night parties and two pool parties, all packed into three fun-filled days. This is one water festival that will leave you thirsting for more. In contrast, how does a country with the lack of safe space impact the community?

In Vietnam, there are not many places for the community to meet; whether to make new friends or find a partner. Many lead a straight life. Meetups happen through traditional methods like word of mouth or when one is brave enough to approach a fellow pink stranger. Luckily, the age of the internet has allowed a safe space to take refuge in the form of online communities. Online forums and smart phone apps have become a staple for self-expression. It has allowed many people who otherwise, will never meet to cross paths.

However, technology can never truly replace a physical safe space that allows you to be comfortable in your own skin. It is unfortunate that many in the LGBT community still lead a closeted life. Putting on a façade for a 9-to-5 job; 5 or more days in the week. They are contributing members in society and they take care of their family. Being who you are is a privilege that not everyone can enjoy. It is always nice to have a safe space to where you can put on your dancing shoes, have a Jägerbomb and be reminded that “I am titanium.”

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June 1, 2014