SimplySxy

Tag: kink

  • How To Get Started Into BDSM

    How To Get Started Into BDSM

    “The principal of individualism is actually related to the Devilish element, insofar as the latter represents a separation from the divine within the totality of nature.”

    Marie-Louise von Franz

    I recognize individuation as a basic human need. We are compelled to express our unique perspective, along with our collective and tribal identities. To distinguish ourselves as separate, yet part of a larger group. These dynamics are often conflicted, yet mutually necessary. Kink and alternative lifestyles help to solve for this paradox in a way that’s playful and deeply symbolic. In BDSM, the individual is upheld as a crucial part of the whole. It shows us that we can be separate yet cohesive with others. Differentiating the self from the group feels dangerous, rebellious, and alluring. There’s a feral, elemental quality to that sort of selfishness. We play out these specific roles in BDSM, which are often polarizing. The tension between opposition and unity generates the entire experience. It’s through acting out and exploring specific identities, that S&M can thrive.

    Kink also fosters a space where we’re able to share and honor the taboo or hidden parts of ourselves with others. Through S&M, we embrace what makes us different, even transgressive. In the mundane day to day we often repress or contain certain impulses because they are socially unacceptable. This can actually become a mental disorder in extreme cases. Yet in the realm of (safe, consensual) BDSM, we are free to embrace those darker, weird, or perverted aspects of the self and put them to use constructively. Acting out our lower natures in an intentional way, instead of disowning part of what makes us human. I find it can be intensely therapeutic, and liberating. That kind of opportunity is hard to come by.

    The Appeal Of BDSM

    Alternative lifestyle and kink is considered “fringe” or a niche portion of society. Yet it’s actually an incredibly complex realm of possibility. It can take on so many different meanings and interpretations. Which really grants each person the opportunity to make it their own. I think this really appeals to our artistic impulses. Not everyone identifies as a traditional artistic type. Yet kink offers adults the chance to become playful and creative with each other.

    Its recent popularity in mainstream culture does not come as a surprise to me. Social media and entertainment thrive on trends and provocative imagery. The unique quality that BDSM presents makes a thrilling contribution to our over sexed media. We’ve become largely desensitized to risqué content, so the emergence of kink effectively reigns in our short attention spans. At least for now. On a more subtle level, I think it also serves as a catalyst for us to work out our collective issues with power dynamics. There’s a lot of conflict and division apparent in our culture today, and I view BDSM as a metaphor to help address these issues.

    Types Of BDSM I’m Into

    I’m asked this question fairly often. Overall, I’m a Sapiosexual, I like to know what makes people tick, and how to push their buttons with exacting precision. Though I act out more of a dominant role in BDSM, I would actually consider myself to be a pleaser. I truly enjoy facilitating for others and taking creative control. Ironically, it’s my natural passion for serving others which makes me a compelling dominant. My empathy and concern allows for me to intuit what they desire and fear. Which is incredibly beneficial when tasked with controlling and directing a scene. It’s an honor to be entrusted with responsibility, secrets, and fantasies in this way. Kink has taught me a great deal about human sexuality, instincts, artistry, timing and communication.

    Introducing Kink To Someone New

    When introducing someone to kink, I always encourage open communication before, during, and after the session. This helps to create a collaborative experience versus one you’re being subjected to. It also helps to lay down a foundation for future scenes by carefully exploring boundaries on the first few occasions. A bit of nervous tension is to be expected when working with a new partner, or trying a new technique. Even for those who are veterans of kink. The key is to transmute that anxiety, into excitement. BDSM is supposed to be exhilarating, provocative, and a bit risky. Having that sense of anticipation actually helps to build a memorable scene.

    If any excessive tension arises, we can balance the energy with sensual activities such as body worship, tickling, tease and denial, massage, or simply taking a break. My approach is always to start simple, with increasing intensity as the scene progresses. It’s better to be patient and methodical, because once you violate a boundary, it can be difficult to come back from. Better to be overly cautious and to build anticipation, than to over exert and ruin the scene. When I meet with curious new clients, I typically suggest starting with really light fetish and BDSM methods. If they have something a bit more extreme in mind, I view it as a goal we can work toward, or start

    Tips For Beginners To Get Started

    Initiation into BDSM can be a bit daunting because there are so many facets to explore. The most satisfying approach I’ve been able to discern, is to lead with your desired feeling state. Ask yourself, “How do I want this experience to make me feel?”. Then find corresponding activities that are likely to elicit those emotional responses. This may require some experimentation, but by leading with the desired feeling state— you’re more likely to discover what truly appeals to you. To help narrow this down, define keywords that resonate with you. Such as, I want to feel powerful, feminine, manipulative, overwhelmed, insatiable, worshipped, owned, vulnerable, sadistic, humiliated, or objectified. By having each partner select several points of focus you can flesh out a simple plot to satisfy these cravings. This process is half the fun in my opinion, because it requires collaborative effort and ingenuity. Using your imagination to craft a scene like this is quite intimate, and yields better results versus a scene filled with kink for the sake of being sensational.

    I’d like to add that over time our desires naturally evolve and expand. So kink can be an ongoing inquiry into what inspires and motivates us at any stage in life. It’s best to keep an open mind, you may surprise yourself. When I was a student of the visual arts, we were frequently tasked with drawing live models. In order to better understand the overall process, we were also tasked with modeling. Switching roles grants the artist with a dual perspective— of both the viewer and the viewed. The result is a better drawing and a better model. This same wisdom applies to kink— embrace role reversals. Try everything at least twice. Don’t be afraid to experiment, and fail. Nothing is a waste, and challenging yourself to try something new will always prove illuminating. Many reputable Dungeons require providers in training to first serve as subs before being entrusted as a top. This cultivates a healthy respect for the tools, timing, limits, and what it feels like to be vulnerable. First hand experience is always the best teacher.

    Arden Adamz – Arden Adamz aka Sydni Luxe is a Dominatrix, Erotic Consultant, and Writer based in Philadelphia. With over a decade of experience in the Adult industry, she’s currently writing a How-To book for those interested in sex work. Private consultations and coaching are available via webcam or live at her studio in Philadelphia, PA.

    Follow Arden on

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/arden_xoxo

    Email: sydniluxe@gmail.com

    Images courtesy of Arden Adamz

    Like to be featured on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

  • Introducing Kink Into Sex

    Introducing Kink Into Sex

    I primarily see sex as something playful and fun! I’m kind of obsessed with it actually, which is part of the reason I do it for work. It’s fascinating and vulnerable and it reveals a great deal; not only how we feel about each other but also how we feel about ourselves, the kinds of experiences we’ve had in the past, our preferences, our “go-to’s etc. It also has a tendency to get intense and complicated, but I prefer it as it’s awkward and adorable recreational phase.

    I was lucky enough to have my earliest sexual experiences be queer, therefore there was no real precedent for what sex was supposed to look like. Queer sex has allowed me to be open-minded in terms of how sex is defined, what my “role” is, and by hooking up with people with diverse gender and sexual identities, I have been able to try new things and find out what turns me on. This has been valuable, and allows me to see sex as an intimate interaction with many possibilities, rather than a predictable script I’m supposed to follow.

    I empathize a lot with people, especially straight women, who are brought up to see themselves as sexual objects rather than sexual subjects. We’ve come a long way in terms of sexual empowerment but it’s important to recognize that men and women are often not on an equal playing field when it comes to things like prioritizing their desire, having multiple sexual partners, and dealing with issues such as sexual health, safety and the possibility of pregnancy.  That being said, I find it incredible when women find ways to take power into their own hands, find partners who respect them, and get to engage in super hot, fun sex.  That’s what I’m trying to do.

    How Adding Kink Spices Sex Up

    Kink is any kind of “unconventional sexual practice or preference”, outside the realm of conventional or “vanilla” sex. Some people define their entire sex lives by their kinks, so much that it becomes a lifestyle choice and subculture. Others merely experiment and are lucky enough to find some fun weird shit they enjoy!

    Personally I see incorporating kink into sex as a form of play. It changes things up, it pushes you outside your comfort zone, it allows you to think about pleasure differently and taps into parts of yourself you aren’t necessarily familiar with. For example, maybe you’re really into fluids, or feet, or fucking in some private bushes of a public park. These things may sound silly, but trust me, sometimes all it takes is the right time and the partner to really bring a certain kink to the surface. And if you’re curious, why not try it? Sex should be fun right?

    Playing with power is a popular form of kink, and one that I engage in often. Taking total control or giving it up entirely during sex may feel counter-intuitive at first, but again, find the right person and you may discover you love to be teased, tortured or tied up. Or alternatively, that you have a penchant for making your partner sweat and breathlessly speculate about what’s coming next.

    Try Incorporating Sensual Domination

    Sensual domination is a spin-off from the classical Dom/sub relationship which focuses more on the sensual side of power and prioritizes pleasure. People often think of BDSM as “whips and chains”, a latex-clad figure using a burning-hot cattle-prod to poke at a restrained victim. It doesn’t always have to be like that! (Though personally I’m not opposed, just say the word).

    Sensual domination does not seek to humiliate, torture, and degrade the sub, but rather positions the sub as a precious pet or plaything. It pushes buttons without pushing boundaries. There’s many ways to do sensual domination, I personally get a lot of requests by clients to perform a dominant role, I’m not sure if it’s because of my height, my look, or whether it’s obvious that I have a bit of a dominant streak. I’ve found a way to make sensual domination my own, which is a blend of the vanilla and classical BDSM services I also offer. In this role I position myself as princess, and try to encourage a sort of reverence in my subs, by handling them firmly, restricting their sight while playing with their hair and running my fingers down their necks, pressing myself against them and forcing them to explore and to worship every part of of my body, from my toes up to my neck.

    It’s drawn out, it’s indulgent, it’s sexy. It’s 100% all about chemistry. I find a lot of my subs want to experience the feeling of gender role reversal, and being guided into sexual activity as an object of pleasure, without having to overthink or perform. I’ve come to really enjoy bossing someone around when they are so turned on they can’t think clearly, and are thus very determined to please me. Full disclosure that I’m a bit of a selfish Domme, but in any case it keeps them coming back, and it’s a lot of fun.

    Ways To Introduce Kink For The Uninitiated

    Start small. Remember that “kink” is an umbrella term which encompasses innumerable sexual practices, so it’s not like you can mess up or do it wrong. You could start by fantasizing and asking yourself honestly whether there’s anything, any kind of practice or porn that peaks your interest.

    Are you interested in playing with power? Try to imagine yourself in both dominant and submissive roles. You don’t need to go out and purchase a latex catsuit and a cat-o-nine-tails to try and impress anyone. So much of kink is psychological anyway!

    Communicate your interest in kink to your partner, and see if you can find some compatibility. Get creative and look for compromises. Your partner may not be ready to enact a consensual kidnapping and keep you restrained and isolated for hours; however they could potentially be down to engage in a bit of dirty talk. Take your time, don’t rush things. Watch porn for research, but don’t compare yourself to it. Find ways to do kink your own way, and don’t take yourself too seriously! Focus on chemistry.

    Follow These Do’s & Don’ts

    Here are just a few…

    Do give things a try, even if it feels silly/seems unusual!

    Assuming you’ve found someone you feel safe with, why not put yourself out of your comfort zone and try something new? You might be surprised at the things you enjoy, especially if it’s something your partner has expressed interest in.

    Do communicate extensively.

    Try and be honest about your likes and dislikes, what you’re interested in, not interested in, and what you’d like to try. Try not to succumb to the pressure to make yourself edgier or more experienced than you are. You don’t need to whip out a list of scandalous fetishes in order to be desirable or interesting. You are desirable and interesting regardless of what your preferences are! Try to focus instead on discovering compatibility and giving yourself space to experience things in the right time. Check in with your partner after and see how you both felt.

    Don’t automatically assume that your partner shares your tastes for kink.

    For example, I actually have quite a few male friends who have confessed to me that they feel uncomfortable when their female partners have asked them to be dominant, and that choking and slapping their feminine partners just doesn’t sit well with them. Just because your partner is male doesn’t mean he wants to be aggressive! Having an honest conversation about your fantasies and preferences is a good way to start. Compromise is always possible, but make sure you give your partner space to let you know if and when a certain practice makes them feel uncomfortable.

    Don’t forget to be safe!

    BDSM enthusiasts: If you’re using equipment, make sure you know how to use it properly. If your partner wants to be choked or treated roughly, make sure you research how to do it in the correct way and have a safe-word. Practice consent always. Don’t forget to check-in with your partner regularly. Engage in some after-care!

    Zoe Geovanna – Zoe Geovanna is an independent escort and fetish provider based in Berlin. She’s performed for Erika Lust, had a brief and glamorous career as a dancer, and is generally willing to try anything once. She’s toured nine different countries in the last couple of years and doesn’t see herself stopping anytime soon. Her interests include nostalgic stripper-jams, covering her entire body in coconut oil, and sexworkers rights. She hopes to someday purchase a Mediterranean villa where workers around the world can come, kick back, and make jokes around the campfire whilst sipping Prosecco.

    Follow Zoe on

    Website: http://zzzoeangel.wixsite.com/zzzoegeovanna

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/zoegeovanna

    Upcoming tours:
    Buenos Aires April 5-18
    Barcelona: April 23-29
    London: spring 2018
    Frankfurt: spring 2018

    Images courtesy of Zoe Geovanna

    Like to be featured on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

  • Owned

    Owned

    Angel

    It’s the dead of the night with no one around for miles and miles. You’re standing in the middle of a darkened room with absolutely nothing on, alone, barefooted and cold waiting for me to appear.

    Your heart is racing out of your chest in anticipation, your warm breath vanishes, and then suddenly you freeze. Something catches your attention, you can sense it moving in closer but you can’t make out what it is. The darkness throws you, even though I’ve taught you to embrace it.

    An involuntary shiver shoots through your nerve endings and fizzes around your stomach. You twitch as you feel the cramp and attempt to compose yourself but I’m already behind you.

    I suddenly appear behind you with a chill. My fangs sharp, poised, hovering over your neck. Am I fully human or part beast? You question yourself due to my unhinged animalistic nature. I could devour you right here and no one would ever know, and you’d let me.

    The room shifts and suddenly you feel the force of gravity pin your body down. You’re on a bed with no end, no sides, stretching into the distance of endless ripples.

    I whisper softly in your ear but you’re frozen, although not by fear, but obedience. Instinctively, you submit signaled by the accentuated arch in your back. I can sense how wet you are, I know you want me to fuck you until you pass out. I know you want it all – Don’t you. So fucking say so, tell me.

    “I want you in my veins so bad it hurts, Sir”, you say, but you daren’t look me in the eyes. You want me all over you, fucking your mind completely, leaving you never quite the same. The old you is dead, your spirit is unleashed, finally rid of the shackles of judgment. You are now awoken by intense arousal, full of dark lustful power.

    Trained in the art of submission, you long for my touch to set you free. Can you feel my mental vibrations gently stroking your clit? Yes, I know you can. I’ve put a spell on you, you can’t resist, can’t say no, you’re completely owned. It’s time to open your mind and soar with me above the limitations of the physical plane.

    A featherlike touch caresses the side of your neck and you inhale my essence. You want to feel me, you’re craving the release you’ve been denied for so long. Feel me in you, on you, throughout. Breath, relax and open up your mind. Let my words follow the contours of your body and then take me in.

    That’s right, deeper, deeper, deeper still until you can feel me in the depths of your soul.

    Your yoni is dripping wet but your body is still, only the exhalation of frustrated tones penetrate the air. I grab you by the neck and squeeze, and squeeze, ever tighter. You second-guess yourself for a moment because you know you’re powerless, unable to resist as my grip tightens around your throat.

    Now your oxygen supply is completely cut and your becoming light headed. All the blood rushes to your face. You start to lose consciousness but I bring you back to the light with vengeance. Finally, I allow you to gasp for air. Your bloodshot eyes ping open, and almost instantly you feel the hard sting of my slap on your face. You’ve momentarily forgotten the rules and you’ve allowed yourself to slip.

    Then everything stops. You know it’s not acceptable and I require more. Without saying a word I can hear you ask for forgiveness. I caress the side of your face, kiss you softly; you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, do you know that?

    “Thank you, Sir, I am what you want me to be”, you tell me, blushing with sexual energy and tension.

    Then I take you under, your eyes roll back in your head as gravity takes over again. Can you feel these words gently massaging your clit? Yes, you can, I can see that; but this time it’s even more intense, even more potent.

    You can feel me slowly moving around inside your pussy. Stroking your insides up and down with the tip of my finger. Do you like that? Does it feel good? Do you want more?

    You release another groan, this time more frustrated than the last. Panting like a cornered gazelle about to be eaten. Good, let it out, give in and let the darkness take over. You’ve lived your whole life never knowing this place even existed. And now look at you, you’re hocked, you want me, you need me; I am your thoughts.

    Your body and mind belong to me now, to do with as I please. Shall I let you release your orgasm into the ether? Or should I let it swirl around and round that pretty little head of yours? Hum, what do you want? Tell me…

    “I want you Sir” you exhale, laden with anguish. Your feet are moving back and forth, straightening the sheets as you try to control yourself to no avail. You release a teardrop despite your eyes still being closed. I’m on top of you, our warm bodies charged like atoms ready to combust.

    Your entire body is now consumed by my energy; we are connected, we are one. My soft words caress every inch of your insides like no one else. I’m so deep inside, all you can do is lie there and tremble. Your mind is racing and you want to cum so badly but you know your orgasm belongs to me. I decide when and how you release, if at all.

    Your orgasm feeds my soul, this is why I nurture you so, this is why you are always in a constant state of arousal. And now you are losing control, slow it down baby, slow it down, that’s better, good girl, hold it, breathe in, now exhale through your stomach and let it emanate outwards, down your thighs and all the way to your toes. You’ve never experienced anything like this before but you instinctively know this is how it’s supposed to feel. This is what’s been missing.

    You are now levitating, your body is in spasms; I’ve possessed you. You can no longer hold the urge to release and you beg for permission. Again, a hard sting hits the side of your face and you recoil – another tear falls. Don’t fucking speak, I want you to let it completely take over your body, let these words fuck you. Deeper, deeper, deeper still, so deep all you can do is surrender to my voice.

    It’s so intense your stomach is weak from the constant muscle cramps. You lose all sense of ‘YOUR’ reality as you enter mine. I’ve sworn a sacred oath to nurture and mould you into the Phoenix you are destined to be. Now rise from the ashes and drench me in your essence. Don’t hold back, let it go, I want it all over me, everywhere, dripping wet with your juices.

    As you lay shaking on the bed, I’m left in awe of your pure unfiltered release. You bathe me with cosmic energy potent enough to nourish the world. This is why I nurture you; this is why I invest in you so completely.

    This is why I own you.

    Note:

    If you’d like to develop a much deeper understanding of mental Domination and submission you can download a copy of my ebook below:

    A Mental Guide For 24/7 Dominants & submissives – The ebook

    By Madison James

    Images courtesy of Madison James. Original article republished courtesy of Madison James from https://www.themadisonjames.com/single-post/2018/02/24/Owned

    Like to be featured on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

  • What You Should Know About 420 Intox

    What You Should Know About 420 Intox

    I thoroughly believe that kink/alternative lifestyle gives you a sort of freedom to express yourself like nothing else. There’s no judgement passed by anyone, unless of course someone is being hurtful/discriminating. Other than that, we’re all here for the same exact reason, to interact and connect with others just like ourselves. Being a part of this lifestyle gives you a lot of opportunities to form new friendships and relationships, and explore your own interests and passions comfortably.

    What is 420 Intox?

    420 intox/herbal intoxication is the act of consensually “forcing” the submissive to consume cannabis for the dominant’s amusement. The sub’s mind becomes even more intoxicated by my power, allowing them to go into a dream-like/relaxing state. I’ve noticed personally that it’s much easier for the sub to focus all of their energy solely on me, and to leave their normal thoughts, perception, and “normal” lifestyle behind.

    All of their fears and stress points are nowhere to be found. The submissive caves in so easily, and appears more serene in the process. It came about naturally, I suppose. I’m already a heavy marijuana consumer, so when it came down to sex and kink, integrating weed was a given. It was just something I was already used to.

    How Cannabis Is Integrated To Kink

    Cannabis is integrated into kink in many different ways; whether it be a certain 420 fetish, or just using cannabis infused lubricant. Cannabis and kink can be wonderful experiences on their own; but combining the two, that’s when the magic happens.

    How It Adds To The Experience

    It’s all about having fun, and being yourself. I feel consuming cannabis before any sexual experience can give you so many wonderful emotions and accessibility to push your limits in a more comfortable way; for both parties (domme/sub). Euphoria and thrill rushes through your veins, leading to an incredible, more heightened climax. It can be a powerful and memorable experience.

    Safety Precautions To Take Note Of When Intoxicated

    While high/intoxicated, senses are much more amplified.  Desire is increased, emotions are enhanced, and pain receptors can become a lot more sensitive; this can be a good and bad thing. A common symptom during sexual activity while being high/intoxicated is vaginal dryness; lubricant is your best friend!

    Also, everybody has a tolerance. A normal amount to me can be a large amount to the sub. Sometimes they’ll feel intimidated by me, try to keep up with my consumption, and end up having a bad time. Neither of us want that! The key is communication. We’ll create a safe word they can say to hint that they’ve reached their limit; and that same rule should also apply to any sexual activity you’re about to partake in.

    Emery Dalliance – Financial Dominatrix and Clip Producer. Her expertise’s are; Financial Domination, Female Domination, Forced Intox (cannabis/alcohol) and Tease and Denial. She resides in Southern California.

    Follow Emery on

    IWantClips: https://iwantclips.com/store/163359/Emery_Dalliance

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/emerydalliance?lang=en

    Niteflirt: https://www.niteflirt.com/listings/show/11432742-Emery-s-Surprise-

    Personal Website: http://emerydalliance.webstarts.com

    Featured image courtesy of Shutterstock, all other images courtesy of Emery Dalliance

    Like to be featured on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

  • Daddy Daughter Fetishes With Vera Bliss

    Daddy Daughter Fetishes With Vera Bliss

    I started getting into the kink/alternative lifestyle when I turned 15.

    I had a boyfriend whose parents owned a bondage club and so he would practice all the time tying me up with different knots, then I started to be promiscuous and have sex with all of his friends. I have also always been into girls since I was a little girl.

    I started selling my used wet panties off of Craigslist for $100 a pair and then I started to get into camming and Skype shows.

    I have always liked watching daddy daughter porn and it developed into a fun fetish roleplay for me!

    How My Daddy Daughter Fetish Came About

    I developed it after my dad passed away, nothing to do with him personally, just that it made me feel better to have a daddy and act it out in sex.

    Daddy Daughter Fetish Characteristics

    Characteristics include calling the guy daddy and him calling me princess (not babe).

    Also, listening to daddys’ every command because little girls must obey their daddy. Daddy’s must spoil and love their little princess also. I satisfy them by doing all of those characteristics listed.

    Tips For Beginners To Try

    If you are unsure how to start trying this fetish, just start with calling the man you choose “daddy” and see how he responds!

    Vera Bliss – I am new pornstar Vera Bliss and I have only done 7 shoots so far. I am bisexual and open to all fetishes!

    Follow me on Twitter @theverabliss

    Subscribe to my onlyfans.com/verabliss for $10 a month to see all of my nudes, porn, and videos! My Snapchat is 30 for life which includes sexting and nude pic/video exchange at fancentro.com/verabliss

    I also sell my used wet panties!

    Images courtesy of Vera Bliss

    Like to be featured on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

  • What Exactly Is Findom?

    What Exactly Is Findom?

    For many, kink can be a form of therapy and catharsis; a much needed escape from reality. Everyone has a different take on kink and a different experience, meaning the possibility for something new and interesting to be discovered is limitless. Whether it’s a 24/7 lifestyle or just for play, sensual or sadistic, kink provides us with a safe community where for some, they can finally let go and be themselves.

    What Is Financial Domination?

    A branch of BDSM Femdom, financial domination involves a (usually) male submissive submitting to a dominant, known as a Domme, Goddess, Mistress, (or male Cashmaster) financially. This submission can take many forms, from buying gifts, to money transfers known as ‘tribute’, and in some cases, giving the dominant full control over bank accounts and credit cards.

    The submissive, known as a ‘finsub’ (short for ‘financial submissive’), pay pig, or money slave, finds a sense of arousal in handing over financial control to the dominant. As with traditional Femdom, financial domination is routed in an exchange of power and is often coupled with humiliation kink, obedience, chastity and orgasm denial.

    Sounds scary? It is! Financial Domination is one of the few branches of BDSM with real world consequences, blurring the lines between role-play and real-life, making it one of the more intense and addictive forms of submission.

    Why I Enjoy Findom

    I’m very much a controlling person in my personal life and in my private relationships with men, and online financial domination has been a fun extension of that.  I definitely enjoy the power and adoration that comes with being a Domme, and I’ve been able to meet and be served by wonderful people that I ordinarily wouldn’t have met otherwise.

    Characteristics Of A Good Finsub

    Dedication, devotion, obedience, and a willingness to learn and make sacrifices are all qualities of a good finsub. Gratification should come from amusing and improving the life of the Dominant, the finsubs personal wants are secondary.

    Tips For Potential Finsubs

    No two Dommes are alike, so take your time finding someone who’s style and personality meshes with yours. Compatibility is key to a lasting and fulfilling relationship, both inside and outside the world of BDSM. Prior experience isn’t necessary, but it’s important to be clear about your limits and needs outright. Your Domme will guide you, challenge you, and shape you.  Together you’ll explore parts of yourself you may not have otherwise known existed.

    Luss the Queen: Australian Financial Dominatrix with a penchant for humiliating, controlling, and teasing men. Lover of key-holding and total power exchange; shaping men into whatever she desirers at any given time.

    Follow me on:

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/lussthequeen
    Fetlife: https://fetlife.com/users/7556872
    WriteForMe: https://writeforme.org/user.php?userID=21334

    Article images courtesy of Luss the Queen, feature image courtesy of Shutterstock

    Like to be featured on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

  • Kinky Ideas For A Sexy Time

    Kinky Ideas For A Sexy Time

    Sex is infinitely complex, multi-faceted, and diverse. I love it because it’s always bringing me something new to play with, challenging me to think about the world with more openness, and connecting me to my own and other people’s bodies. Sex is beautiful, and messy, and playful. It breaks my heart that many people have so much shame tied up with their bodies and sexuality that they don’t even feel like they can enjoy or explore it. That process has been so rewarding and enlightening for me.

    My Favorite Kinks

    I’m a big fan of a lot! Some things I love now I could have never fathomed participating in even a couple of years ago. I’m personally into very raw, messy sex. I like spit on every surface of the house, and seeing a beautiful face of makeup slowly ruined as the passion of the night intensifies! I’ve also learned recently that I’m a huge voyeur, and even probably a Cuckquean.

    It goes into the polyamory concept of compersion, where seeing your partner happy, even if it doesn’t include you, makes you happy. It’s that same concept, except I get to get off on how good someone else is fucking them. There’s a quite humiliating aspect as well, of the dominant being better to my partner than I am, which is a fun mind fuck. And of course, since I’m a switch through and through, there’s nothing like giving my sub a nice flogging that takes them to a heavenly, ecstatic, and absolutely destroyed subspace. I just love how far kink can take you.

    Do I Enjoy Being A Dominant Or Submissive?

    It really depends on the partner. I have more experience as a submissive, and that is 100% due to the way women are socialized to be the receptors of men’s pleasure before pursuing their own. In that sense, being dominant has been absolutely empowering and beautiful for me. It’s given me a real sense of accomplishment and self-esteem. I do enjoy being roughed up and ‘put in my place’ so-to-speak though, and I think having been dominant makes subbing even more fun, because it takes more from a dominant to impress me. I like sexual challenges.

    Popularity Of Kink Requests

    I cater to a lot of men who are interested in exploring kink but haven’t had the resources or confidence to, who may be intimidated by seeing a traditional Dominatrix, or want more than a traditional Domme would offer. My GFE background makes it less threatening for clients to confide their desires in me, and my knowledge of both worlds can help them navigate that. Fetish and BDSM interests are slowly becoming more mainstream and less taboo, and I think people feel more comfortable exploring them than we’ve been allowed to in decades, if not centuries.

    Shamelessly acknowledging our true desires and reveling in them can be so liberating in a society that consistently tells you your body, sex, and interests are wrong and dirty. In BDSM and kink, you get to create the world you want to live in. On the flip side, embracing the inherent shame that comes from mainstream conservative mores can be quite a fun edge for some people, myself included.

    Kink Tips For Beginners

    It really depends on people’s personal interests. Just like with sex, we all have things that attract us, scare us, trigger us, or empower us. What excites one person may totally traumatize another. It’s really important for that person to be in control of their own experience and explore their own personal desires in risk-aware and consensual settings. I’d say most newbie/ vanilla people like to start off with more simple things like spanking, anal toys, and breath play, and go from there based on how they feel.

    Others have fantasies they’ve been dreaming about since their early youth, and want to jump right in with a dark-age play scene with themes of degradation and incestuous abuse! More important than any specific act or path to take is for newbies to remember that you don’t have to do anything you don’t like to to be kinky or practice BDSM. It’s there for you; it’s yours to craft to your liking, not anyone else’s. Make it work for you, whatever that means.

    Sadie Prescott – Sadie Prescott is an independent escort and professional BDSM switch who tours frequently and is currently living in Minneapolis, Minnesota. When she’s not having fantastic chocolate-covered orgies or torturing her clients, she’s cuddling her two bunnies, reading queer academic literature, or working on her fine art photography series’. She absolutely loves her job and is fighting for sex worker rights and the decriminalization of sex work across the globe.

    Follow Sadie Prescott on:

    Website: www.Sadieprescott.com
    Twitter: @Sadieprescottmn

    TER: 300182

    Images courtesy of Sadie Prescott

    Like to be featured on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

  • What It Means To Being A Switch

    What It Means To Being A Switch

    Kink and alternative lifestyles are arenas for exploration of life and sexuality. In my opinion, being into kink can add renewed excitement and lust for life. It is thrilling to discover the many ways we can play with the body and mind with everything from costumes to riding crops to psychological manipulation.

    After fifty shades of grey, kink seems to have moved from the fringes of society into average Joe’s bedroom, a development I feel ambivalent towards. On one hand, I am happy to see more people introduced to the delights of kink. On the other hand, I am mildly concerned that people who are not really into kink might feel pressured into doing it because everyone else is or it’s cool at the moment. I believe kink is best when motivated by personal desire with matching, consenting partner(s).

    Whats It’s Like To Be A Switch

    As a switch, I feel empowered and liberated both by giving up control and by taking on full control. In everyday life, I feel more flexible, and able to have a deeper understanding of power dynamics.

    The idea of releasing control and exploring the intersection of pleasure and pain always appealed to me. I tend to be more on the submissive side in my personal sex life, and get extremely turned on by being spanked, slapped, tied up, having my hair pulled and so on. I love having someone take charge and bend me into different positions and fuck me hard. Since I am a pretty bossy lady, it can be liberating not to think about what to do, but instead, just being in the moment with a partner who directs the show.

    After leaning more towards the submissive side for years, I started playing with being dominant and discovered the pleasure and excitement in having someone give up control to me. The thrill of designing an experience in which you take your partner to his edge (and beyond) is an amazing high. I now love being dominant, in particular in sex work, because I enjoy providing the space for a client to explore the sides of himself that he does not get to act out in his ordinary life. Since I know firsthand what the sub experience is like, I feel I can more easily provide this for clients and lovers.

    Preference For Being Dominant Or Submissive

    I usually prefer to be submissive in my personal life and dominant at work. For me, being a submissive requires a large amount of trust, something that builds up within time, and therefore I tend to save my submissive side for private encounters or client relationships where trust has been built. As a dominatrix, I love designing experiences for my clients based on their submissive desires.

    Kink Activities I Love

    I love spanking, both giving and receiving. I enjoy the different types of delicious pain inflicted by a hand, a paddle, riding crop, and flogger. A flogger is probably my favorite.

    As a sub, besides spanking, I love being flipped into different positions, getting tied up or held down, as well as using a blindfold, getting my hair pulled, nipples pinched hard, and light slapping.

    As a domme, besides the spanking, I enjoy taking control and putting my partner into different positions for me to physically take charge, pin him down, and fuck him with a strap on. Other things I enjoy as a domme is using a collar and leash, nipple torture, slave training, cock and ball torture and ball busting.

    Anal play, strap on, foot fetish and trampling are some of the requests I get the most these days.

    Characteristics Of A Good Sub

    A good sub gets turned on by the idea of giving up control to their partner. A good sub is in it voluntarily for his or her own pleasure, not to please a partner. He or she is open-minded, willing and able to suspend control, obedient, and eager to explore their sexuality.  A good sub is also clear about their boundaries, and soft and hard limits, so the domme knows what to avoid and where to tread with caution.

    Tips To Be A Switch

    I would not say it is easy being a switch, since it involves knowing oneself deeply and the ability to perform a complete role reversal. However, it gives me so many options and has most certainly added color and excitement to my life.

    If someone is keen to become a switch, I suggest they do their research and find what turns them on by the idea of being a submissive, and by being a dominant. Then, I recommend experimenting with a partner they completely trust, or hire a professional to explore with in a safe environment.

    Nina Nyx – Nina Nyx is a Sydney based Scandinavian escort, masseuse, and dominatrix. Nina is an all-natural, curvy blonde, deeply passionate about traveling, writing, massage, alternative rock, yoga, dancing, and sexploration.

    Follow Nina Nyx on:

    Website: www.ninanyx.com
    Twitter: https://twitter.com/ninanyxxx

    New session: For the man and/or woman curious of exploring being a switch, I am now offering switch sessions.

    Images courtesy of Nina Nyx

    Like to be featured on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

  • Power Play In Sex

    Power Play In Sex

    Funnily enough, my interest in the concept of fetishes grew out of my religious upbringing. Religion and sex have an uneasy relationship with one another, but I’ve learned that humans are intrinsically attracted to the taboo. We live in a society that governs all our social behaviour – how we can act with whom. Having an experience or a secret enjoyment that flies in the face of that can be extraordinarily enticing. When we are denied something, it holds a special power. This is basic human psychology, and when applied to our sexual desires, we enter the world of kink and fetishes.

    While you might occupy the world of vanilla, there’s something in every person, some unexplored corner of the mind, attracted to the possibility of the alternative. What might that be? The possibilities are endless. Your individual experiences in life, particularly in your formative years, might answer that for you. We enter the world of sensations before we enter the world of words, which is why tactile fetishes can hold such a strong arousal. Or maybe it’s a certain kind of scenario, a certain kind of person in a position of power or who is prohibited for some other reason.

    While I have my own personal fetishes, one of the most satisfying experiences in my life is consensually exploring the kinks and fetishes of others. I love doing what I call ‘de-shaming’ – sharing my thoughts around why their particular kink is not a source of shame and providing a non-judgemental space for them to enact a particular fantasy and experience sexual satisfaction.

    What Is Sensual Domination?

    My definition of sensual domination is a sexual or sensual exchange where one person is in control of the experiences, sensations and satisfaction of the other – and dictates when those sensations are withheld and when they are given. This may involve playing with pleasure and discomfort or pain. It may be purely psychological, or it may be extremely physical. Usually it’s both.

    Being six foot tall, I had been told on the odd occasion that I’d make an excellent dominatrix. But discovering my niche in sensual domination came through having many vanilla ‘girlfriend experiences’ and realizing that some clients had more complex sexual desires that required something slightly different – like me taking control, teasing or taunting them to the extreme, or performing a fantasy scene. I started realizing then that sex is far more mental than it is physical.

    The first time I was asked to dominate someone I was a little nervous but willing to give it a go. When I saw the effect on my client and how satisfying the experience was for them, I wanted to explore more. My curiosity piqued, I shadowed a couple of Mistresses who performed total domination, humiliation and submission of a slave or sub. While I admired their skills in that dynamic, I soon realized that the more extreme forms of domination – especially inflicting pain – weren’t really for me. Since then, I’ve found so many people out there who aren’t ready or don’t want to be completely dominated and humiliated, but who crave some power imbalance or some feeling of relinquishing sexual control. Once I started exploring that, there was no going back!

    What I Love About Sensual Domination

    The subtleties, the nuances, playing with different sensations, performing different roles, leaving the regular world and entering a fantasy space where nothing else exists, watching the physical and psychological responses that are elicited from people, having another person under my thrall, keeping somebody on the edge and then watching them experience satisfaction. De-stigmatising people’s kinks and having them leave feeling that they’ve been able to explore another side of themselves … should I go on?

    Why Men Love Women Being In-Charge

    At some point in our upbringing, we all had our first sneak peek at a magazine or film where a guy was fucking a girl, and he was the one doing the fucking. He was in charge. We still live in a world where men are expected to ask women out, to be the pursuer and to take the lead in the bedroom. Even if taking charge in sex doesn’t get them off, the concept of a man being submissive throws their ‘manliness’ into question. Despite advances toward gender equality, boys are still socialized from before they can remember to be ‘masculine’. To be a man is still to be self-sufficient, strong, to lead situations. In business and politics, men still overwhelmingly occupy most of the seats of power and a marker of ‘being a man’ in most cultures is still around what you can ‘do’ – whether that be lift weights or make a lot of money, or get the girls.

    In my experience, the pressure to perform this version of masculinity gets old sooner or later. The concept of a strong woman taking charge, taking the pressure off the usual expectation to be the initiator can be very appealing. The concept of being the receiver of attention rather than the giver, the idea of being aggressively seduced or sexually aroused by a woman, of being told what to do in the bedroom by a female rather than being expected to take charge can be an enormous dynamic shift that can be incredibly satisfying for men who have lived their lives in charge. Sometimes, this may take a more maternal role, where somebody simply wants to be held and receive affection and stimulation without having to give it back, which is something I love to offer.

    Power Play Activities I’m Into

    There is almost always an element of tease and denial in my sessions and withholding / giving of affection. If someone has a foot fetish, that dynamic will happen with feet, or if someone has a boss / employee fantasy, or a mother / child, it occurs in that fantasy space. I enjoy using stockings and silk and having more submissive clients, often creating a dynamic of affection and admonishment, arousal and denial – depending on the comfort level of who I’m playing with. I enjoy body worship sessions where clients can fetishise and enjoy particular parts of me and be held at a distance until I’m ready to satisfy them, or playing game in which I test their obedience before I reward them. For lots of men, one really sexually satisfying experience that is stigmatised is prostate play, anal play or anal sex with a strap on. I absolutely love giving someone their first prostate orgasm and blowing them away!

    Mia Monday – I’m Mia, a private fetish escort and companion based in Melbourne.  My niche lies in the sensory world found between affection and domination. I enjoy walking the line between tease, sensuality and taking erotic control. Intuitive and instinctual, I love discovering what satisfies you.

    It might be something you didn’t expect.

    Follow Mia Monday on:

    Website: www.miamonday.com
    Twitter: www.twitter.com/mia_monday

    Scarlet Blue: https://scarletblue.com.au/escort/mia-monday

    Images courtesy of Mia

    Like to be featured on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

  • Good Dom, Bad Dom

    Good Dom, Bad Dom

    Now I’m probably going to get a bit of stick for this because, like many art forms, BDSM is open to all manner of interpretation and rightly so. We all have the right to express ourselves freely as consenting adults. But there comes a time when even art is called into question, or at the very least, scrutinised.

    To add some context to my perspective, I should point out that I’m a 24/7 Dom escort and I have a number of clients who I work with to help nurture their sexuality. I’m not Mr. Slap and tickle nor am inclined to tie people down and beat them into submission in a cold sterile room, although I can certainly recommend someone if that’s your thing. I also think Hollywood has a lot to answer for regarding the widespread confusion and misunderstanding amongst those unfamiliar with the beautiful art of BDSM.

    In any case, I think most responsible and reasonably well-adjusted people within the BDSM community would agree that with much freedom, comes great responsibility and care. BDSM is not a magic wand that will instantly fix your problems and make you awesome. The reality is that if you’re a lousy partner in the vanilla world, you’ll more than likely to be a lousy partner in the world of BDSM too. So I think it’s important to acknowledge who you are at your core, as this will ultimately determine your approach to BDSM.

    We may all want different things from our life of kink but there are some key elements that most safe, sane and consenting adults would probably agree on. For me, I have distilled these down to 9 core principles of nurturing because that’s who I happen to be at my core.

    1. Emotional Health: In my opinion, this will be the primary focus of a ‘good Dom’ and they will do everything in their power to ensure the mental health and emotional well-being of their submissive. A ‘bad Dom’ on the other hand might not even consider this to be important because they’ll be too wrapped up in their own head to notice.

     

    1. Sexuality: I believe as a ‘good Dom’ you are fully responsible for the sexual development and pleasure of your submissive as they are under your control. A ‘bad Dom’ will neglect this because they will be more focus on receiving pleasure and ensuring that all their sexual needs are met.

     

    1. Fitness and Health: For me, as a professional 24/7 Dom, I require my submissive to be fit and healthy so they can cope with the sometimes stressful and demanding tasks bequeathed to them. This can include instructions to attend the gym or regular health checks to ensure that they receive a clean bill of health so I can push them to their limits in relative safety. A ‘bad Dom’ will pay very little attention to this area and some may even go as far as allowing the consumption of alcohol during play sessions which should be punishable by severe flogging, preferably at the hands of their own intoxicated submissive.

     

    1. Appearance: A good Dom will pay attention to the details, including suitable attire and offer guidance and support where needed. A ‘bad Dom’ will overlook this and insist on a submissive wearing unsuitable clothing that could jeopardise their safety during a session. In instances like this, I’d suggest including a clause in the contract that holds the Dom legally responsible for any injury caused to their submissive during a session.

     

    1. Behaviour: This is an interesting one for me personally as I have an anecdote that I’d like to share. I was recently contacted by a new client who wanted to embark upon a 24/7 Dom/sub relationship with me which was fine – Initially. The issue is that after having spent time with them it was clear that she was not yet ready for this type of lifestyle. Instead, I suggested something entirely different to help her deal with certain issues that she is facing. A ‘bad Dom’ would have attempted to break her pattern of behaviour, which would only have compound her issues and made them worst. In this clients case, I recommended Tantra which I felt would be much more beneficial to her.

     

    1. Life Balance: This may not be relevant to most because you may only engage in BDSM during specific times of play. But within the context of a 24/7 Dom/sub relationship, the issue of life balance is a big one and can be the cause of much stress and relationship breakdown. A ‘good Dom’ will take the time to discuss how BDSM can be incorporated into your life whilst allowing you to function as a normal member of society with all the usual responsibilities that most of us have to deal with. A ‘bad Dom’ will make unfair demands and insist on compliance and even worst, they may try to enact disciplinary measures and demand you comply. At this point, I’d advise running for the hills, as this is usually a recipe for disaster.

     

    1. Duties: When it comes to nurturing a submissive, duties and tasks are an integral part of their development. Some of the duties I have set for my clients range from attending Yoga classes and spa days to visiting therapists and sex councillors. This would probably never occur to a ‘bad Dom’ as they would be too busy setting pointless chores that they could quite easily do themselves.

     

    1. Punishment: Ouch! Literally! As a word of warning, please be very careful if your Dom punishes you when they are angry. In my opinion, punishment should be meted out calmly, as a form of correction for unacceptable behaviour, or as a form of pleasure, not when a Dom is foaming at the mouth and decides to whip 50 shades of grey out of their submissive.

     

    1. Contract Negotiation: This for me is like the Holy Grail. It lays the foundation upon which your life of kink will evolve. Both parties are on an equal footing and should ensure that they are getting exactly what they want from the relationship. I also think it’s important that contracts remain fluid and subject to review on a regular basis as our lives change. If your Dom insists that you stick to whatever is agreed regardless, they are clearly more concerned with their own needs than that of their submissive.

    Ultimately when it comes to finding the right Dom, you need to have a clear understanding of what you want and where your boundaries lie. If they don’t tick the right boxes, it’s best to move on and find another, as they are unlikely to change. These are my personal views based on my own interpretation of a Total Power Exchange (TPE) relationship which I refer to as ‘DSN’ – ‘Dominant, Submissive and Nurturing’. You can find out more about DSN here.

    Madison James is a degree educated 37 year old international male escort from London with a keen interest in BDSM, Tantra and massage. He has an aptitude for intellectual conversation, an inquisitive mind and a genuine desire to help women embrace their sexuality one orgasm at a time!

    This article was originally published at https://www.themadisonjames.com/single-post/2017/10/06/Good-Dom-Bad-Dom

    Follow Madison James at http://www.thefiftyshadesofgreyexperience.co.uk/

    Featured image republished from https://www.themadisonjames.com/single-post/2017/10/06/Good-Dom-Bad-Dom
    Have an amazing experience or tips you like to share on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!