SimplySxy

Category: Sex Ed

  • Take Your Love Life Into The Kitchen

    Take Your Love Life Into The Kitchen

    We all know that food and sex are two of the things that we most enjoy in our lives. Therefore, if you are planning to make dinner and you are going for delicious tortillas because you love food so much, you might also be interested in knowing how this space of your home can be used in creative ways in your sex life.

    Dining is also a very important part of the whole dating process, so it’s not difficult to think about bringing food to the next level from an intimate point of view. If you have not tried it before, it can certainly spice things up in the bedroom. After all, both food and sex are comforting activities that we usually share with the ones we love, and they both tend to get messy.

    If you are intimidated by the idea, you really shouldn’t, since these are both areas in which you can explore as much as you want, and doing so can really build up trust as well in a relationship. However, before we go into details about how you can approach this matter, let’s take a look at the connection between the two from a psychological point of view.

    Why Do They Work so Well Together?

    Ever since people have been around, food, love, and sex have been in a close relationship. It’s rather difficult to feel romantic if you are hungry, but it’s also true that when we meet someone new, we tend to forget about food. Our brains and bodies work in interesting ways, and the chemicals that they produce in various situations can definitely impact the way we physically feel.

    However, the close connection between love and food is important, especially in a relationship, as it can deepen the bond between two individuals. On the other hand, it’s also a definitely fun idea, even if you are in a committed relationship or not. There’s a basic human need for both food and sex, so they are part of our nature, which is why they work together so well.

    No matter if we’re eating or having sex, we are using our senses. Taste, touch, smell, they all come together in each of these activities, so it’s only natural to enjoy heightened sensations if you combine the two.

    Food Ideas

    Now that we covered the essentials, let’s see how you can use various types of food in the bedroom, to bring your experience to the next level. The first idea used by many is sushi. There’s something inherently appealing about sushi, and you can definitely think about eating it off your partner’s naked body.

    If you have skills and can prepare the rolls yourself, then that’s even better, but there’s no worry if you rely on take-out for this one. The important part is to have fun together and explore this aspect further.

    Since we’re more in the main course area, it’s a good moment to mention spaghetti and tomato sauce. This is one of the all-time comfort-food favorites, associated with great taste and relaxation. Therefore, you can safely take it to the next level and prepare a great dinner together with your partner for a night of fun.

    You can also try the classical spaghetti kiss if you haven’t done so already, and make sure you have napkins around, as the situation can easily get messy.

    Desserts

    Of course, if you are into sweets, you can definitely give them a try as well. In fact, they do tend to be the more popular option, with whipped cream being among the top choices. Of course, you can and should get creative, depending on what you like to eat. Many people also go for chocolate syrup.

    It’s good to keep in mind that it tends to be a little messier than its whipped cream counterpart, and it drips a lot, so you and your partner might have to be on top of the situation from this point of view. If you have calligraphy skills as well, you can use the chocolate syrup to write things on your partner’s body, using the larger areas, such as the back or stomach.

    No matter where your imagination takes you, food and sex work great together, so don’t hesitate to explore everything that these two can offer together.

    Images From Nadia Eve

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  • How A Guy Should Impress During A Date

    How A Guy Should Impress During A Date

    A good date for me personally requires that magnetic pull and drive towards one another. The wanting of more… Mentally, or physically but having to I guess “restrict” yourself. It’s that magic spark as corny as it sounds where you have this excited feeling in your gut before, during, and after the date.

    I also like for the date to be planned and organized by the person asking me out… I hate the “Well what do YOU wanna do?” type of person. I gravitate towards the ,”Hey, get ready in an hour – wear something fancy/not fancy I’ll call you when I’m outside.” THAT is so attractive to me.

    That, and punctuality. Punctuality is actually a turn on for me, I swear it!

    The Importance Of First Impressions

    Through school I learned that within the first 3-5 seconds of meeting a person, you will know if you like them or not. Although I do somewhat agree with this statement, I try very hard to push myself away from it. Simply because there have been many occasions where my first impression was not great.

    For example, I dated someone for five years actually who thought I hated him. And I used to go home and cry wondering why he isn’t asking me out (really – I cried, LOL). Come to find out it was because when I first met him, he offered me a coffee and I said no, thank you. He took that as a “rejection” when in fact I was just super shy to even look him in the eye, let alone allow him to purchase a cup of coffee for me.

    So in short…  I think you should explore a person before judging them. First impressions can be awkward, but doesn’t mean you won’t end up dating for five years!

    Expectations For A Guy On Dates

    Well I’m a bit old fashioned in the sense that I appreciate a true gentleman. I like him opening the door, calling to make sure I got in safely, being courteous to the waiter. I don’t ‘expect” anything per se as expectations lead to broken hearts but I do like certain things in a certain way which include the gentleman type…opening car doors, restaurant doors, offering to pay, pulling out my chair.

    I’m old fashioned in that way and I’m very observant and I like the little things. I went on a date once and when the guy picked me up as we were driving, someone turned right in front of us and cut us off and he had to press the brake really hard and fast and his first reaction was to pull his arm out in front of me to make sure I don’t fly forward and that my seatbelt holds me back. I really really liked that.

    Common Mistakes Men Make On Dates

    Oh I have stories for days! I’m going to write a book one day. My life is like a soap opera. In terms of common mistakes I would say for myself, personally. Because of my outer appearance, usually men think I don’t have much of a brain. When in fact I’m very well educated (studying for my masters), and I’m pretty street smart as well since I raised myself from a fairly young age. That’s one of my biggest pet peeves. The assumption that because I take care of myself physically, that that is all I have to offer.

    Or the idea that I’m “just a girl” who does “girly things” and doesn’t know about “boy stuff”. So I have a huge obsession with cars, motorcycles and speed in general. My first car was an M3 and I had it so tinted that I would get pulled over left and right. I can’t tell you the amount of times some guy tried to race me and I kicked his ass or threw him in a ditch, rolled down my window and blew him a kiss and the complete utter shock of me being a female behind the wheel almost blew their mind LOL. Not just a female as I was told.. but, “Are you serious?! A god damn Barbie look alike just took you out bro!”

    Can There Be Too Much Flirting On A Date?

    I don’t think there can be too much! I’m a huge flirt I’m told.  There’s no harm in flirting if you’re not bothering the person! I consider “too much” when it’s just blatantly obvious non-stop compliments… Or planning way into the future while “flirting” on a first date… That stuff can be a bit excessive and can turn me off.

    Should There Be Sex On The First Date?

    Depends on the date! I’m not against it. I’m not 100% for it. I do believe that there is some sexiness when you delay the intercourse…the mystery of the first encounter…day dreaming about it or “sexting” about all the stuff you’re going to do to them when you see them…That in itself can be extremely fun.

    You can be in class and soaking wet from daydreaming about an encounter that hasn’t even happened yet. But then again, if the chemistry is there, and you both want it, why not?? If you’re both adults, and both choosing to consensually engage in intercourse then I mean…why not? Just because it’s the “first date”?!

    Have fun, stay safe and go with your gut! (Sometimes your gut is in your heart)

    Nadia Eve – Upscale, exotic, fun, bubbly brunette with natural HHH boobs, big bum and flat tummy who loves what she does!

    Follow Nadia on

    Twitter: twitter.com/evettelove9

    Private Snapchat and only fans by request via email at: LAAYAA90@YAHOO.COM

    Wishlist: https://www.amazon.ca/hz/wishlist/ls/BNJS2UXW432B?ref_=wl_share

    Images From Nadia Eve

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  • Sharing My Sex Work Experiences

    Sharing My Sex Work Experiences

    As far as I can remember, I’ve always been intrigued by sex work. It started when I found some erotic magazines of my dad, followed by seeing strippers or escorts in movies. After that, watching my first porno. But what really intrigued me was when I first met my first professional escort. I had to know more! I was raised with a really open mom, she explained sex to me a little earlier than most (was living with my single dad at the time so it seemed fit).

    I feel that I always been curious about sexuality, so when I first met that girl I already had quite a lot of experience and it seemed like a good way to help me through schools, little that I know, I am still doing it even if I am done with school. Sex work is a place where I can be my real self sexually. Only thing I really hate about this job is all the stigma and normality of girls getting in bad situation as if they deserve it. We are all humans and most of the ladies I know in the industry are good person.

    Remembering My First Client Experience

    I remember like it was yesterday, I feel it’s something you never forget. At the time, I was lucky enough to work with an agency that cared about us. She made sure my first client was a good client, he ended up being a regular of mine afterwards until I moved out of Quebec City. For the purpose of this interview, let’s call him Mike.

    I was so nervous to see him since I didn’t know what to expect at all. I met him in a motel around 9pm. When Mike opened the door I could see he was about 30-35 , and he looked a little bit nervous. With time I found out he was not really nervous but it’s just how he is. Talks extremely fast and seems anxious all the time. We talked a little bit at the beginning and then proceeded to the main action. I can still taste the mix of mouthwash and cigarette in his mouth. All I can say is he respected all my boundaries and didn’t push me around to do anything.

    How My Experiences Have Generally Been

    In general, most of my experiences were positive with the agency and since I started to be independent. I had a couple of bad ones here and there while I was learning the ropes of the industry but most of it was good. Only really bad experience would be that I got robbed on my first tour in Vancouver. At the time I didn’t know about references, screening process or asking for a deposit. I was lucky enough to not have too much money with me and that he didn’t hurt me too much.

    What Constitutes A Good Experience To Me

    I feel that what I would consider a good experience is when there is chemistry with both of you and the person understand and respect all your boundaries. As much as I do enjoy a dinner date or travel, this doesn’t mean it will be a good experience… some of my best times were seeing someone for about two hours since it leaves us time to get to know each other a little bit more and make the “stress” go away.

    I won’t lie about the fact that I do enjoy being treated like the goddess that I am, so a good diner with good drinks never hurts… A little gift here and there as well.

    Have You Had Any Unfortunate Experiences?

    As mentioned earlier, I did get robbed once. Also I did encounter some drunk and hard drug users when I tried working late nights. I had a guy also when I first started with the agency I was with that tried to take the condom off while I wasn’t facing him, luckily I caught him in time. He was banned afterwards from the agency.

    Now that I know more about all the screening process, I haven’t had any bad experience. It is not a 100% sure deal while screening but prevents a lot of bad encounter. Asking for a deposit as well helps weed out the robbers and time wasters.

    Advice For New Sex Workers

    Don’t stress yourself out, at the beginning we all make mistakes and probably don’t know exactly what we are doing. But I really believe screening really helps. Also, don’t be shy to ask others for tips when you begin. I know some other SW aren’t too keen about giving help on how to or give tips but a lot are really helpful when they know you are beginning.

    I personally encourage you to contact me on Twitter if ever you have any questions. Last thing, don’t follow the exact same steps as someone else, we all have a different style and approach, find out what works for you the best.

    Bonnie – 25 year old French courtesan based out Edmonton, Canada. Tour sometimes and open To FMTY. Started in the industry at 19 with some pauses in between until today.

    Follow Bonnie on

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/LovelyBonnie1

    Websites: https://lovelybonnie.wixsite.com/date/about

    Images from Bonnie

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  • Why Do Men Love Buying Used Panties?

    Why Do Men Love Buying Used Panties?

    If you would have asked me this exact question, on my views towards kink, four years ago, my answer would be very different! I have always been a very open-minded person, but I have become even more open minded and understanding of the kink/fetish world since becoming a panty seller and content creator. It’s important to remember everyone’s kinks stem from somewhere. Why does one person like sniffing used panties, while another finds it “weird?” I’m always interested in these answers, and I do believe this is part of what keeps me so engaged in this business.

    Why I Decided To Sell My Panties

    Simply put, I was looking for something fun and exciting to do while still making money. My husband actually suggested selling my panties. I made a Twitter account, (which is long gone now and since been replaced with a new one) and within a couple of days I had my first buyer. He informed me of a website called Pantydeal. I signed up and 338 reviews later, I’m still an active member of the site today.

    I’ve also made panty sales through my new Onlyfans page. There are panty lovers everywhere, and I love being able to provide them with their kinky fetish fix. It’s exciting knowing someone else has my scent in their hands.

    Why My Panties Are Unique

    I’m not sure if I would call it unique or not, but I haven’t shown my face since I started in this business. Surprisingly, a lot of my clients love this aspect. They love the “fantasy” and unknown piece of it. I do also love to engage in 420 activities, which can make for some very fun videos. A lot of my clients LOVE that. My newest unique quality has to stem from my new boobs. Lactophilia lovers are very enticed at this current time.

    What My Regular Clients Are Like

    There are always panty buyers out there. I’ve been booked for months at a time in the past. Of course, there’s always slow times too. During those slow times I will focus more on promoting other services, such as my Onlyfans page or custom video and photo requests.

    I often get asked what a normal panty buying client is like, but there really is no one answer for that question! I’ve had such a variety of personality with my repeat clients. Some of them prefer to stay discreet and only chat to place their orders with me. I respect that completely. I’ve had clients of all ages as well; from 21 to 65 years old. A lot of clients prefer custom videos made along with their worn panties. Some prefer the panties worn multiple days. A lot more thought and time goes into panty buying and wearing than the average person might think!

    Reasons Men Buy Used Panties

    Clients buy panties for all sorts of reasons! Some simply enjoy the pleasure of sniffing them. Others buy them to wear themselves, and some buy them to use while masturbating. And by use them, I mean physically. This is why a lot of panty buyers prefer silk or satin material

    For a lot of clients, it’s about forming some sort of connection through the panties. They want to know the woman they’re coming off and the story behind them. It makes it that much more exciting when their panties have a “story.”

    Are Custom Requests With Panties Common?

    Yes, all types! I mentioned a lot of panty clients prefer custom videos to go along with their panty purchases. Some request they be worn multiple days, or I even have a few clients who prefer to purchase them unworn! In addition to panties and custom content, I have sold socks, lingerie, lollipops, workout wear, jeans, shoes, and probably other items I’m forgetting to mention.

    When it comes to the fetish panty world, almost anything goes!

    I’m Alexa! A playful, but naughty MILF. Panty seller, content creator, & more depending on the day 😉 Let’s have some fun together.

    Follow Alexa on

    Onlyfans: https://www.Onlyfans.com/BlondeKushx

    PantyDeal: https://www.pantydeal.com/FitBlonde420

    Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/u/FitBlonde420

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/BlondeKushx

    Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/BlondeKushx

    Snapchat: FitBlonde420

    Help me reach 1K followers on Twitter! I’ll be offering someone a FREE trial to my Onlyfans plus I’ll be adding discounted subscriptions!

    Images from Alexa

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  • What It Takes To Be A Pay Pig

    What It Takes To Be A Pay Pig

    The world of kink is a necessary response to the restrictive societal norms in which we all operate on a daily basis. Everyone is into something a little alternative, be it their music taste or strange late night snack preference. Kink is like deep space; a way to safely (when done properly) explore otherwise “unacceptable” interests. It’s funny that attitudes toward kink can still be so cynical, but thankfully the internet makes it possible to educate and connect individuals in a way like never before.

    It doesn’t have to be a clandestine practice, it can be a fun and satisfying way to creatively realize your desires. Variety is the spice of life.
 Kink is additionally such a fascinating inquisition into the realm of psychology. I’ve learned so much about myself and about others through my practice as a Domme.
The kink community is also one of the most open and accepting I’ve ever experienced, rife with characters both interesting and brilliant. As long as all parties involved are honoring safety protocols like SSC and RACK, it can be an incredible opportunity for self-exploration.

    Getting Into Findom

    One day a girlfriend of mine told me someone approached her on Facebook asking to be her homework slave. When we looked into it, she was a little weirded out, but I was intrigued. I went home and started researching and fell down a fetish rabbit hole. Enthralled, I created a Twitter account and embarked on building my own little empire of devoted submissives.

    What Does It Mean To Be A Pay Pig?

    A pay pig is a submissive, usually male but can be anyone, who derives pleasure and satisfaction from relinquishing money to a Financial Dom/me, the latter of which tend to be beautiful and highly intelligent women. It’s a form of masochism, in that money represents power, the transfer of which is symbolic and is often artfully composed of a multitude of factors, including surrender and an intimate connection between sub and Domme.
 Findom in its purest form involves a submissive who yields funds to a Financial Dominatrix as the ultimate acknowledgement of her dominion over his mind, finances, and libido.

    Misconceptions About Pay Pigs & Findom

    Pay pigs aren’t actually just people born with a compulsory need to send money to demanding women. It’s more complicated than that. Subs aren’t stupid, they’re not inherently losers, and not all of them like to be humiliated. I think a lot of girls try to get into findom because it sounds like easy money, which has saturated the community with these Instadommes, much to the chagrin of serious Dommes. But there’s no formula to it. It is a real relationship.

    My relationship with each of my subs is wildly unique. 
I’d venture to say another pay pig misconception is that it’s a transaction. Selling custom clips and conducting Skype calls are transactions, not findom. And it’s true that that’s simply the nature of findom today — many Dommes are jacks of all trades, myself included. But true findom is a remote Goddess, perched on Her throne up in the clouds, and along comes the unworthy sub who bows at Her celestial feet and offers himself wholly in recognition of Her supremacy, which includes sending, serving and spoiling for the sheer joy of pleasing Her Eminence. Never is even Her attention promised, let alone a picture of Her divine feet or an OnlyFans subscription. But, I digress.

    Finally, findom is not easy. Building a presence entails quite a bit of effort — you’re an embodiment of the Divine Feminine, not a normal girl with her own life and other goals outside of the kink world. Maintaining relationships with subs is akin to maintaining vanilla relationships with your friends and family. Staying sharp and educated on kinks takes endless research and practice. Though it is fun and satisfying, it is essentially running a business.

    If you’re just a pretty girl, you will be eaten alive. Which is why so many girls quit after a few weeks, and why many true pay pigs become frustrated with an inbox full of “Send me money now, loser!”

    Characteristics Of Pay Pigs I Look For

    Reverence and devotion. A sub should be submissive! Chivalry and findom go hand in hand. I give so much more attention to those who approach correctly: head down, on their knees, begging for the privilege of serving me and all the wonder such an honor entails. We Goddesses have to deal with subs who pop up asking “how much for a session?” on the daily, as if we’re vending machines for pleasure.

    That’s not female dominance. That’s pay for play, which is fine, but should come later, ideally. 
I like subs who have a personality, too. Someone who can just be their kinky self — that’s what allows for an organic bond and a deeper, more satisfying fantasy.

    What To Know Before Becoming A Pay Pig

    You don’t have to be rich to be a pay pig. Sacrifice is sacrifice. The stories where men take out loans of thousands of dollars for the intense release it is to send to the object of their affection are exciting and sexy, but they’re not the rule. You pay monthly for Netflix, you go out to dinner and drinks, and you surprise your Goddess with little gifts here and there. If you want to be a pay pig, findom already exists in your psyche. You just need to find the Goddess with whom you can explore your desires.

    I’d say patience is key. Don’t fall for Instadommes. Think of it this way — how dominant is it really for a self-proclaimed “Domme” to reach out to you with solicitations for money that are thinly disguised as a bratty command? Block, ignore, and keep it moving.
 Fortune favors the bold. If you have your eye on a Domme you like, take the plunge and approach. The worst that can happen is she ignores you.

    My advice? Lead with devotion and submission. Stand out by telling her why you so ardently adore her. And send that initial tribute first, or within the first five messages. She’s a Financial Dominatrix, and you’re a pay pig. You know good and well how to please her. “Sent, Goddess” are the magic words in findom.

    Goddess Katie – A luxury Dominatrix of the financial persuasion — intellectual, untouchable, and highly addictive. Though She specializes in findom, She caters to a variety of other kinks and believes in establishing close relationships with her devotees. All the better to infiltrate your mind and make it Her permanent residence…

    Follow Goddess Katie on

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/worshipKatie

    FetLife: https://fetlife.com/users/11124745

    OnlyFans: https://onlyfans.com/katieisgod

    AVN Stars: https://stars.avn.com/worshipkatie

    Inquiries: katiiegoddess@gmail.com

    Images from Goddess Katie

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  • Why Do Women Engage Male Escorts?

    Why Do Women Engage Male Escorts?

    There is no doubt that escorting is the most intimate type of work that can be done! It’s exhilarating when meeting a new client yet relaxing once you’ve both crossed the finish line. Fulfilling when a client sees their own body with new, more positive eyes, yet tense when navigating the pain. It can be lucrative, but also very demanding after a month of advertising costs and no clients to cover those costs.

    How I Got Started Into Escorting

    In university, I found a lot of interest in my Psychology of Women classes. I was very pleased to receive 98% percent as a final grade, but my knowledge alone did not make me any type of James Bond for the ladies. In an attempt to balance my tall 6ft 4 frame throughout my university years, I dedicated time to learning about the female anatomy and the female psyche. Where most men take to this task with motives of sexual conquest, I truly approached learning from the appreciation of women. I grew up with Christian values at home where female beauty is placed at the peak of physical creation. And I mean, isn’t that the truth, when even straight women are attracted to women in a way that straight men just aren’t attracted to men.

    All this to say that my adherence to religious rules on sex was in question. I found myself at the end of a hard drawn out break up where money, emotion, physical closeness were all lacking. Maybe it was the influence of a strong mother, or the hardships of loss, along with the well timed idea from a close friend. All influences considered, it all led me to find a place in sex work where I could celebrate women.

    What Makes Me Unique

    One of my goals as a male escort is to focus on the experience of pleasure for my client, specifically by attending to their needs by giving my best. In any relationship there are key psychological wants/needs that we have to address to feel satisfied; survival, fun, freedom, power, belonging (I happen to like Glasser’s Five Needs, the best part is you get to choose your needs/desires). In the first 10 minutes of meeting a client, I want to know why they are with me and which desire my client is looking to fulfil.

    Fundamentally, we all share the same basic needs. Each client has different needs (sometimes a new need or want by the day), and every need has different motivations, and she will likely express those needs differently than any other client. But the differences in how we behave are shown through our individual past experiences. Often our needs emerge from an emotion, or a thought, or even conflicting thoughts. Which is why I love to listen, and be attentive to uncover those desires. The intimacy that sex can provide can be effective at satisfying those emotional, physical, and spiritual needs.

    Why Women Engage Male Sex Workers

    As much as I’d love to believe that I’m the expert on why women engage with male sex workers, because I AM a male sex worker and I SHOULD know why my clients book. Don’t worry, I do but it’s just more complicated than you might think. Here’s my best to offer several reasons why women can be drawn to male sex workers.

    Let’s first consider her needs! Are they coming to a sex worker because they feel as though they haven’t had enough freedom in their life, marriage, job? Perhaps they need an avenue to explore their sexual imagination freely without judgement. Or the lawyer that needs to schedule sex into her life because if she doesn’t, she notices a decline in her work performance. Each reason to engage sex workers is valid. Whether you do it to give up control or to gain it, maybe to experience a sense of safety through intimacy, or even creating a safe space to grow from past trauma. Maybe a wild birthday celebration!

    What My Regular Clients Are Like

    My first job was probably the best training I could ask for. I worked at a chocolate shop where I was able to learn each guest’s palate. If they preferred mint chocolate, creams, hazelnut, liqueurs, ganache or praline. I heard many moans of enjoyment when it was time to pass free samples. Like a box of chocolates, my clients are sweet, sensual and oh so tasty. Humour aside, they are assorted! Clients come in every shape, personality, temperament each with their own variety of tastes. There are a few similarities that my clients share. They always have a level of openness or defiance, curiosity and a degree of playfulness. It must be that same thinking that opens you up to hiring an escort.

    My mother worked hard to provide for her family, early on I learned what a strong, focused, and dedicated woman looks like. I’ll say with 100% certainty, you don’t have to look far in the sex work industry before you’ll find a strong woman. Sometimes that’s the explorative client, or the corporate business woman who needs to let all the racing thoughts go for a few hours, just to relax. Sometimes other female sex workers will encourage their own clients to hire me to have more enjoyment out of an encounter!

    What I Have Learnt About Women

    If I could distill this all down to one idea, it goes without saying that I am thankful to each one of my clients who have ultimately helped me learn this! We all strive to feel competent, autonomous and safe in each interaction. Every woman is magical, sensual, creative, hilarious, quirky, cute. If I can care, give attention, and respect her, she will want to open up. When she does, there will be more of her to be enjoyed!

    Damien is a student of human connection. His studies come from his work as a male escort learning to be a passionate lover, a giver, and a pleaser for women. A very positive and ambitious thinker who always has a new podcast on the go.

    Follow Damien on

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/thedamienwalter

    Only Fans: In progress (www.onlyfans.com/datedamien)

    Promos: Check Onlyfans with release!

    Article image from Damien Walter, featured image by freestocks.org from Pexels

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  • Why I’m Proud To Be In Sex Work (Part II)

    Why I’m Proud To Be In Sex Work (Part II)

    Read Part I here

    To me as a SW, It is important to look past peoples’ flaws, and to cater to their needs. If someone is disrespectful or totally unpleasant, I will simply not see him again. If he is respectful and caring, that is all that matters to me.

    You are not gonna get along or have chemistry with everybody and not everyone is gonna like you but that is okay too.  Not everyone is going to be a repeated client, and that is ok too. I think if I meet someone where it doesn’t click, or if it gets uncomfortable I try to lighten things up with a small gesture, initiate contact, take their hands, and place them on me. At the end of the day, they pay for your services, they crave your body, and your pleasure, it does not really matter if you get along or not, as long as they are respectful. If they are not respectful or totally unpleasant, I will either tell them to leave or block them after our meeting to prevent them from contacting me again. To avoid such situations, I usually only see clients that are 30 or older and I try to read them through their initial communication with me, but sometimes it is not enough, and you are gonna come across people that you cannot stand.

    I had people making me extremely uncomfortable. I can give examples, some men I have experienced focus on what they expect from you instead of focusing on you. “Call me daddy, when you first open the door, hug me, take me to the bedroom and bend over.” I mean that might sound sexy coming from a boyfriend, but with a client that you meet for the first time, it takes time to get comfortable and it is totally out of place to behave like this.

    I am shocked to hear from some of them. ”Pardon me? I am not a sexual robot, I am a person with feelings that you are supposed to be considerate towards to make this an enjoyable experience” I want clients that are trying to get to know me because they first liked my profile and description. I will refuse any immature clients that see me solely for my body and treat me like I am not a women with feelings too. It really takes two people to make a sexual or any experience enjoyable. Men with this attitude will never please any women.

    Some will tell you how to behave in the bedroom, it is such a turn off for me because the whole beauty of sexuality is to be 100% yourself even it can get weird or gross, it does not matter as long as it is enjoyable for you and in accordance with the provider rules. I also do not like when men ask me what I like while we are at it. I mean it is totally respectful and a normal behavior to wonder if the other person likes it or not, but I would rather have me tell them or them trying it on me. Just go for it and if I don’t like it, I will say so. I think every women likes a men that can be confident, is in charge and expresses his own desires without asking how it is done even if it is not done perfectly. And the same goes for women. I think the biggest turn on for everybody, is a person that is fully herself and doing what makes him/her enjoying himself/herself while being considerate of the other persons’ pleasure of course.

    Some will mention their wife to me, that is something that I hate. “Let me talk to you later, I am with my wife right now.” It is ok to mention it or discreetly let me know but sometimes it gets too much. I am a woman, and like any other women, I like to feel special, and feel respected and your first contact and communication with me will greatly change how I feel about you and how much I will enjoy our experience.

    But again, every service worker is different and their style and type of services is also different. I would rather provide a girlfriend experience, but I am always open to different requests and trying new things and fetishes with a client that likes me. It is not always the action itself that I like or not, that turns me on or off, but the connection I have with the men that I meet.

    Why I’m Proud To Be A Sex Worker

    I would say that I am proud to talk and to be open about it because it shows how confident I am as a person. A lot of people rely on other peoples’ opinions to make their own, but I think we should rely on ourselves and on who we are, on how we feel and on what makes us truly happy. It reminds me everyday to never ever let someone bring me down for what I do or any decision I make, no matter what the majority of people think, it reminds me everyday how important it is to stand for yourself even if you are standing alone. And not a lot of people understands that. It takes a lot of wisdom and courage.

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  • Why I’m Proud To Be In Sex Work

    Why I’m Proud To Be In Sex Work

    I am totally acceptant of sex work and have no shame in regards of the topic, the only reason I wouldn’t be open about it with just about anyone I cross path with is because a lot of people don’t understand or do not accept it, and it is better to just keep quiet to avoid drama.

    But the main reason why I am open with it now is because I know why I do this. It is has brought more good than many other things in my life has. Of course financially speaking, it has allowed me to be fully independent, live on my own terms, have the freedom I have always seeked, live on my own, buy a car, travel, pay for aesthetics procedure, invest on myself, save money in a short time period, live a life I wouldn’t have been able to without it. Not to mention how unfair the minimum wage is.

    Second, the job itself, you meet a lot of different people that are willing to spend on you, to take you out, to buy you drinks and to make you feel special, to appreciate you and to respect because you respect yourself. I know people who would do this for free, or that would pay to do what I am paid for, so yes I feel lucky at times but luck has nothing to do with it, it is hard work and decisions that I took to be here today. And of course every sex worker is different and every encounter with different persons is also different. But mainly, most of the time it is fun and a learning experience, like any other job.

    Also they do not pay for a good that you sell, they pay for your company, and to spend time/intimate time with you, so unlike other jobs where you have to learn different products, all you have to do here is to be the best you can at this is to be basically be yourself and to take care of yourself and sometimes dress up, meet many different people, develop different connections.. Who wouldn’t want to be paid to do that? Sometimes I feel like I am paid to live, where others are to work.

    How I Felt About Sex Work When I Started Out

    I was hiding my face and really reluctant to talk about it or to share with anyone what I was doing, and a lot of SW feels the same way. I think like many other things, partially because of society views and judgments and people who feed their ego on bringing other people down. It is like we have two lives and two jobs and two social circles.

    1. The ones we are when we work and everyone in the industry who knows what we do, and

    2. Who we are when we are not working, our personal lives and those who do not know about it. But at certain point, the two worlds clashes, and this is what happened for me. You cannot be two different people and as I got older and more confident, I stopped caring about what other people think of me, and I stopped being around judgmental people and those who did not accept me fully for who I am.

    As I first started, it was really intimidating, And it is a lot to learn before getting fully into the business. A lot of businesses teach you to take as many clients as you can without considering your needs and that might be your first thought or approach when starting in the business, but it makes it hard work to provide a good service and totally un-enjoyable, as most agencies do not let you speak to the client before meeting him. I had to learn that to be able to be successful as an independent provider and make a living out of this alone, I had to focus on deeper connections, on the service I provide, the needs that I fulfil, the people that I meet instead of a dollar sign, and that’s how I was able to start to enjoy it and to work smarter, not harder.

    Here comes the importance of talking to the client and screening or reading him prior to booking just by his approach and initial introduction email or text messages. It takes a little bit of practice but you can tell who is as a person, and your first impression about him. It is important to refuse a client that you know will give you a bad experience. I now rather focus on quality people who I can be real and build a connection with that I know are gonna come see me again rather than a lot of clients that do not appreciate you, that is how I’ve been able to charge a higher rate and be successful with a limited number of bookings.

    Are Sex Workers Supportive Of One Another?

    Totally, SW are totally supportive of each other and that is where I met the most loyal, intelligent, and open people I know, that have taught me to be the person I am today, strong and confident despite all my weaknesses, and to be able to speak up and to express myself.

    And it is another reason why I will never ever bring down sex workers, any form of sex work or be ashamed of it. Also it is where I met people I grew strong bonds and real friendship with, exactly because you are allowed to be yourself and it is a judgment free world in this industry.

    Challenges Balancing My Private Life & Sex Work Life

    I am not saying sex work is always easy, it has been a long road but like anything else that is worth it in the long run, does not come easy. First, one of the most important things as a sex worker is to respect yourself. I know it sounds totally ironic that most people view sex work as degrading. But yes, I had to learn to respect myself and to know my boundaries. This is certainly the biggest challenge.

    You are gonna meet a lot of people that will try to take more than they give, people that will try to take advantage, people that are disrespectful, it is totally up to you to let them know what you are ok or not comfortable with, what your rules are. At the end of the day, what most men enjoy is to make a woman feel good in their company, and to provide for us, so again it is up to you to learn what you want and to let them know and communicate your feelings with them. I am far from perfect and far from knowing everything about myself but I am trying my best and I think that is all it takes, that and putting in a lot of time.

    The difference between love life and sex work is that you don’t always enjoy the company you are with. I myself love to create real and genuine connection with people and I am used to be paid for it so it is difficult for me to do this while maintaining a relationship. Some sex workers choose to have a partner while doing this, but I consider my clients as men I am dating and I’d rather not have both.  If I would meet someone that I would want to settle with, be willing to commit and putting in the work, I’d probably be just less emotionally invested in my work, but I’d see myself being able to manage with both. At the same time I do not want to give up my lifestyle. I would have to meet someone that is ok with what I do. And that person has to be very special if he is not paying me.  *laughs*

    Men are looking for beautiful women that are also smart and fun to have a conversation with. Yes in an ideal world, there would be that perfect partner for everybody, that meets all of our needs, but the truth is it is hard to find, and if you are a person with personal issues, like anger issues or obesity or too busy with work or whatever it is, your sexual and emotional needs cannot be fully met, and that is why we are here as sex workers.

    Also there are technical details you have to deal with, just like owning a business it is a lot of work and expenses, creating a website, photoshoots that can cost up to 1k (ranges from 500-1k for reputable photoraphers, not to mention the expenses for outfits) , constantly replying to emails and phone, paying for advertisement and staying up to date . A lot of SW have two apartments/condos, a work location and a place to live, two phones, two email addresses, etc… to protect their identity.

    To be continued…

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  • How I Fell I Love With Bondage

    How I Fell I Love With Bondage

    I think it’s good and nice when someone loves kinks or alternative lifestyles. You should do what is fun and good for you.

    How My Interest In Bondage Developed

    That was two and a half years ago, when I was just 16. I watched the Fifty Shades of Grey films and found it totally interesting. First I had an online Domme with which I met after a while. That was my first experience in the field of SM, I am still in contact with him and he has become something of a best friend.

    The first time I was really tied up was half a year later on a bondage picnic, where a professional older rigger tied me up in front of all the other people there. Since then, I have discovered bondage for myself.

    What Exploring Bondage At A Very Young Age Felt Like

    I find it very good. Sure, you have to fight a bit with prejudice but I only had that privately and not in the SM area. From the beginning I attended an event that is especially suitable for minors and that also helped me a lot. And I also advise everyone who is interested in SM at such a young age to talk to others about it and to try it out.

    As I said, I only had an online Domme. I also had bad experiences in the early days and that’s why I ended the D/s relationship with him. Despite all of this, we still get on well. I had my first really good experiences with my ex boyfriend. At the moment I have a new D/s relationship and there I also learn a lot about bondage. Since he also has many certificates and learned from famous riggers, it has a big advantage for me too.

    Have Your Views On Bondage Changed Since You Started?

    To be honest, nothing has changed much. Except that I am now ready to try more. In addition, I no longer find bondage sexually but I also see it as art.

    What I Love About Bondage

    I love the feeling of security and the connection between the rigger and the model. With a rigger who is only there for shooting, this connection is not there so much, but of course it is still fun. So far I only had two riggers where I had a very strong connection and you could see this connection clearly from other people. I like the tightness of the ropes, the pain of the ropes. At the beginning of some sessions, I just think about what I’m doing here just because it hurts so much, but afterwards I’m proud of myself and the traces.

    What To Know Before Being A Bondage Model

    Since I’ve only been there recently, I can’t answer this question so well. But you should definitely be careful and inquire which producers and photographers are professional and which are not. Otherwise you should definitely enjoy it, if you don’t enjoy it and just want to do it for the money, you shouldn’t do it.

    Sirenity – Hey everyone, I’m Sirenity and I’m a 18 years old Bondage and Fetish Model. I love to work as a model in the scene and I hope you follow me on my way.

    Follow Sirentiy on

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  • How People With Disabilities Are Exploring Their Sexual Needs By Engaging Companions

    How People With Disabilities Are Exploring Their Sexual Needs By Engaging Companions

    I believe that sexuality is the most beautiful thing that can exist and be experienced when it is done with respect, openness and consent! So, if we follow this logic, being the most beautiful thing that exists, it is important that it be lived in a healthy way by each living being that wish it. (When I say ‘’wish it’’, I mean that being an asexual person, it is as good as respect oneself in the fact that it is not a felt need).

    I believe that sexuality is something that, when done well, allows us to be even better towards ourselves, our body, our self-confidence and our sexual happiness. Since I became a sex worker, my self-esteem has quadrupled and the respect I have for myself and for my limits is more present and respect than it has ever been before!

    I therefore believe that sexuality must be a positive thing for every living being! With this in mind, people with disabilities have the right, just as much as anyone, to live their adventure and to feel this pleasure! This is the main reason that I offer services accessible to all!

    How Common Do I See Clients With Disabilities?

    At the moment, I count among my regulars, seven people with a handicap. This is without counting all the people I only see once or twice, who also have various disabilities.

    I do not have exact rules to say if you are a regular or not, but mainly when I see you at least three times in a year, according to your situation you are considered for me as a regular.

    Finally, I consider physical disabilities as much as intellectual disabilities. In my sexual support with handicap, I have met people with various physical illnesses such as: people in wheelchairs, people with degenerative diseases, intellectual disabilities, autism, etc. I’m also thinking that mental health is something to put importance to mention here, since they deserve sexuality like everyone too.

    Reasons For Seeking Companionship

    First, I want to clarify one thing. Each person has their own reason for coming to see me. Whether they have a disability or not, all the reasons are as valid as each other. In my opinion, one reason is no more or less important than another, because it is part of the non-judgment that each person should feel.

    So, after this clarification, to answer the question, the majority of the reasons that I was told were related to an affection loving need, a sexual need to fill and a need to feel more “Normal”.

    The nicest thing a customer has said to me is also the saddest thing that I have been told. The client mentioned to me that what made him feel so good with me was that he finally felt like a real man. What is a real man? It broke my heart to know that it was the first time he feels this when it should have been forever if that’s how he wanted to feel. I found it really sad that his disability made him feel sexually different.

    *Also, it is always convenient for them to book an appointment with me since I offer free outcall service when you have a disability preventing you from moving around easily. HAHA

    How I Feel About Helping My Clients

    I feel pampered!

    Pampered because they trust me. Because they also bring me a few things too. They make me evolve as the person I am now, and I give them the chance to have a healthy lived sexuality.

    I will always be grateful for each of my meetings with them as well as with all my other clients, because each meeting leaves me a small part of them in exchange for a part of me!

    The Challenges I Face

    I would say that my biggest challenge in this type of relationship is to set my limits, keeping in mind that the person may not have the same understanding of my limit. For example, when you explain to someone a limit, did he really understand what it meant? Does he understand that this limit is related to the situation and not to his handicap? Each living being with an own understanding has its capacities and its education, whether you have a handicap or not. So, this challenge comes up in many of my working relationships.

    To counter this problem, I learned the techniques of an effective communication and I try to apply it as much as possible in all my human relations. However, learning to give your thoughts and your limits remains an everyday challenge, and this also apply when I do sexual support!

    What To Do Prior To The Engagement

    I think the person should just keep in mind that it’s important to tell me the whole truth about their situation and to communicate as much as possible how they feel. As mentioned in the previous question, this is a super important basis in a client/sex worker relation and even more when we talk about support for sexuality with disabilities. But if these two basic principles are well done, it will be a superb experience filled with laughter and tenderness!

    Aliss Swan – Hi! I’m Aliss, an independent courtesan in Montréal, Québec. You will find in me a smiling tattooed woman full of energy. I’m a devoted person with a big heart with an open mind. I’m still a student and I travel a lot, so I love meeting new person and enjoying with them a warm and happy connection! I’m open to all handicap, size, origins, gender and orientation. Let’s be happy together!

    Follow Aliss on

    Websites:

    www.alissswan.com

    www.onlyfan.com/alissswan

    https://linktr.ee/aliss.swan_indymtl

    Twitter: @alissswan

    I’m New on Onlyfans! Come see what I’m doing and come sending me love!

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