Category: People

  • Interview with Vanessa Ho’s Project X: Advocacy group for sex workers’ rights

    Interview with Vanessa Ho’s Project X: Advocacy group for sex workers’ rights

    uploadProject X is an advocacy group for sex workers’ rights in Singapore. We believe that sex work is work and that sex workers should be treated with dignity and respect. We seek to end stigma, discrimination, and all verbal, physical, emotional, and financial violence against sex workers.
    SimplySxy: You’ve been running Project X for a while now. Do you think the challenges have changed since you first took over?
    No, I don’t think the challenges have changed. But I would like to highlight one of the constant challenges we face that is quite telling about society’s attitudes towards sex. 
     
    In people’s minds, a sex worker is always gendered female and that there are only two types of sex workers—the nymphomaniacal slut and the unwilling sex slave. The reactions people have towards issues that sex workers face are either “she deserved it” or “oh you poor thing let me save you”. Both of these conceptions reveal how society views sex workers—less than human. To reduce a sex worker’s experience and livelihood to just their sex drive is to avoid seeing that the worker is a human being who has made informed choices about what they wish to do. To view a sex worker as someone pitiful and in need of rescue is to rob that person of their agency and to be blind to the intersectional nature of oppression.
     
    These polar opposites mindsets also uncover another misconception that most people seem to have—that consent (the nymphomaniacal slut) and coercion (the unwilling sex slave) are binary opposites instead of being on a dynamic spectrum.
    SimplySxy: We’re curious, what drives you to do what you do?
     EmpowerExhibit 050614_2
    ​A strong dislike for mornings (I work when the sun goes down), and a strong desire to see an end to human rights violations. 

    SimplySxy: You were in America earlier this year to meet your counterparts from around the world. How was that experience?
    ​It was life-changing. The Third Sector in the United States is very mature as compared to the one in Singapore. The level of professionalism was particularly eye-opening and inspiring. I left the US with a much better understanding of how to run an organization, how to better further the cause, and of course, with a great network of really amazing people–people I wish to grow up to become. ​

    SimplySxy: Today’s generation grew up with the Internet and access to all the information in the world. How do you think we should approach sex education for youths today?

    ​I am a strong believer in talking to youths about sex in an open, non-judgmental, and honest ways. ​If I were to come up with a sex education curriculum (for teachers and parents), I would firstly do away with all euphemisms—no “birds and bees”, no “flowers” or “seeds”. I find it troubling that we were taught to avoid having honest discussions about sex. Words like “vagina”, “penis”, and “sexual intercourse” should be used regardless of what age the person is. I believe that doing so will enable the person to take sex education seriously—to see that it is no giggling matter as youths so often do.
     
    Secondly, I would be careful not to conflate sex with love. There are asexual relationships, purely physical sex, and everything else in between. To conflate sex with love implicitly promotes some kind of “ideal” relationship and pressures people into conforming to it. This inevitably results in the policing of sex and relationships that we see and hear of so often.
    Thirdly, I would remove all fear-mongering material. No sole focus on gory pictures of infected genitals, no videos about abortion, no horror stories about teenage pregnancy. Inculcating an association of sex with fear serves no educational purposes; fear-mongering is a tactic in indoctrination.
     
    My sex education curriculum will also have a heavy focus on understanding consent. At the end of the day, to have sex or not should be an informed choice. And to be able to exercise that agency requires the ability to say yes, no, or maybe depending on the circumstances. Hence, consent is of utmost importance in my opinion.
     
    Education should be about providing students with knowledge so that one can form one’s own opinions, and tools so that they are able assert them. 

    SimplySxy: Thanks for your time Vanessa. Before we go, tell us, how do you define sexy?
    ​I think someone who is sexy is someone who is in touch with their sexual and/or asexual side. It is someone who has had honest conversations with themselves about sex, gender, and sexuality, and is able to have those conversations with their intimate partners. It is someone who knows their boundaries and is able to assert them. And it is also someone who is willing to try new things. 🙂
    photo me2


     Vanessa Ho

     Project Coordinator

    Images courtesy of Vanessa Ho and Shutterstock
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  • Interview with Dave Nunez

    Interview with Dave Nunez

    radio daveAfter interviewing some of the biggest names in porn, SimplySxy turns the table on Dave Nunez, host of Just Guy Talk and Radio After Dark in the US to find out more about his radio shows, his view on sex and the biggest sex tip he’s picked up to date.

    SimplySxy: Thanks for taking the time chat Dave. This has been long overdue. How has it been with Just Guy Talk and Radio After Dark?
    Dave: Everything is going great. We’ve been adding followers/listeners. Both shows are syndicated on a larger network, planetplatypus.com and consistently rank in the top 7 shows.

    SimplySxy: What has been the main driving force behind your shows?
    Dave: I think part of it has been the need for attention and recognition. Everyone loves instant gratification. We don’t always get that in our daily jobs. Also the desire to succeed in an area where I have no formal training.

    SimplySxy: How do you think we can get over this whole hurdle of promoting sex positivity?
    Dave: That’s a tough one. Society needs to be more open-minded and accepting about sex. And it starts with education, for adults and children alike. Adults shy away from questions because they don’t know the answers themselves. They need to seek out the material. Sites like SimplySxy.com provide the content to the public with the articles, blog and sexperts. If they get educated it makes the communication process to their kids easier. Schools should be allowed to teach real sex education. TV, movies and music all reflect sex in some form or fashion. Our kids are influenced by these outlets daily. It will be a long process.
    SimplySxy: You’ve been interviewing some of the biggest stars in the porn. What’s the most important sex tip that you’ve picked up?
    Dave: Don’t try to fuck like a porn star! Actually the best advice came from Holli & Michael the “swinger couple” from Playboy Radio’s “Swing Podcast”. They believe in T.T.L.C., trust, talk, listen and communicate. If you follow these four points with your partner then your sex life should be enjoyable and healthy.
    SimplySxy: So we hear that you started a new site, Blue Streak Radio. Tell us more about that.
    Dave: Blue Streak Radio is a collection of podcasts I’m putting together. My plan is to eventually create a live streaming network from the website that covers adult, sports, comedy, entertainment and women’s topics. So far we have five shows total. I hope to be up and running by Q3 of 2015.
    SimplySxy: One last question before we end off. How do you define sexy?
    Dave: I believe its a confidence within yourself to meet people, socialize and be positive. Also you have to comfortable with your body. We may not all have the physique of those in Hollywood so be happy with physical attributes you do have. If you carry yourself with confidence and poise people will notice. Thanks.
    SimplySxy: Thank you for your time Dave. It’s been great having you to share your thoughts with our readers. Please catch Dave live on Blue Streak Radio.

    Wish to be featured or share your views on SimplySxy? Anyone can do so, simply submit it here at http://simplysxy.com/submissions/


    Image courtesy of Dave Nunez
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  • Interview with Japanese Pornstar Marica Hase (まりか)

    Interview with Japanese Pornstar Marica Hase (まりか)

    Marica Hase (まりか) is a Japanese pornographic actress and AV Idol who has starred in over hundreds of films since her AV debut in 2009.  She was the first Japanese AV Idol to work in the US and was chosen as the Penthouse Pet of the Month in January 2013.  SimplySxy takes this wonderful opportunity to feature Marica through an interview to find out more about her.

    SimplySxy:  Thank you very much for being on SimplySxy.  You’re an international pornstar and hold the honour of being the first japanese Penthouse Pet of USA.  Starring in many films to date, what type of sex scenes do you enjoy being in. 62e799357817dc8527f63cc5aee76124

    Marica まりか: In my private life, I prefer being girlie – I love things that are pretty, cute or romantic. The same goes for sex.

    So it’s a pleasure for me to work for Penthouse personally and professionally. I really enjoy being in their gorgeous and romantic scenes that rival normal films. But at the same time, I think one of our jobs as pornstars is to show the type of sex that normal people can’t do. The kind of sex that are extraordinarily beautiful or incredibly passionate (that it is almost aggressive).

    For that reason it is just as much of pleasure for me to be in the ultimate SM scenes that can only be accomplished by being surrounded by the experienced professionals at Kink.com. It is also amazing to be able to work for Bang Bros and be able do super passionate interracial scenes with Prince Yashua, the top black porn actor who is physically 5 time bigger than little Japanese me.

    SimplySxy:  Is there a sex scene you enjoy most of all and why?

    532919_marica_hase_model_erotika_2000x1333_(www.GdeFon.ru)Marica まりか:  Evil Angel – Raw 11.

    This was the first video I did in America shot by Manuel Ferrara. The whole video is shot POV style, starting with a date in Hollywood, shopping, lunch then going to the hotel at the end.

    I’d never been in a shoot in America before, and I was so nervous. Manuel took me out for dinner a night before to help me relax so that I could enjoy the date in the shoot next day.

    “Marica doesn’t understand English. Marica is VERY Japanese. What we want to shoot is Marica being just the way you are, wearing your own make up and clothes. Use a dictionary if you want. When I came from France long time ago, I couldn’t speak English either, so I know how you feel. I just want you to continue enjoying our date just the way you are right now”, he said.

    I have enjoyed being in many different projects since then from super hardcore to beautiful ones, but I think I enjoyed that project the most for letting me be just the way I was.

    SimplySxy:  A lot of our readers are interested to know your views on the difference between Japanese and US pornography?

    Marica まりか:  The ideal porn actress for Japanese men is fragile, sweet and helpless. On the other hand, men in America and Europe look for strength, sexiness, and aggressiveness in a woman. These differences have a great impact on how I behave as a porn actress, from the gestures I use in the porno shoot to the type of selfies I would upload for promotional purposes.b3e2a7e0594e5d7d11c8fa9bc8773b9b

    The Japanese ladies always prioritize men’s enjoyments first. This does not mean they aren’t enjoying. They feel even better about being the kind of women who prioritizes men’s pleasure… I guess that’s a cultural thing.

    I was born and raised in Japan, and such attitude came natural to me. One of the biggest challenges for me as an international star was to make the necessary adjustments so that my play will be appropriate for the international audience.

    SimplySxy:  Can you share with us some personal sex tips to have an amazing time in the bedroom?

    Marica まりか:  Just be yourself, your true self. Unlike the porn shoot, there is no one watching you in your bedroom. Get rid of your inhibition and explore what you really desire deep down, and really enjoy each other’s company.

    Read on to see more of Marica Hase’s photos as she talks about the craziest places she has ever had sex, her ideal penis size during sex and her definition of Sexy.

  • Sheri Winston shares her Succulent Sexcraft

    Sheri Winston shares her Succulent Sexcraft

    As one of the top United States’ leading sexuality educators, Sheri Winston has been helping men and women everywhere to have great sex and erotic connections. Sheri offers sexuality and intimate arts classes (in-person and online), facilitates workshops and retreats and gives professional trainings to a wide range of students. She’s the award-winning author of Women’s Anatomy of Arousal: Secret Maps to Buried Pleasure (AASECT 2010 Book of the Year). Her fifteen years as a wholistic sexuality teacher developed out of her previous career of twenty-five years as a certified nurse-midwife, gynecology nurse-practitioner, educator and massage therapist. With her new book Succulent Sexcraft launching in a week, SimplySxy takes the opportunity to interview Sheri and get her thoughts.

    SimplySxy: Hi Sheri! Congratulations on the upcoming release of your new book Succulent Sexcraft: Your Hands-On Guide to Erotic Play and Practice coming out this 14th September. There must be a lot of excitement and anticipation building as the follow up to the award winning Women’s Anatomy of Arousal. Where did the inspiration for Succulent Sexcraft come from?

    Sheri Winston: Succulent Sexcraft is based on the core of the Wholistic Sexuality™ curriculum I’ve been creating for the last 15 years—all the ways we can each develop mastery of our own sexuality. Having fabulous sex is a lot like learning to play an instrument—we each have natural abilities and capacities that we can combine with learnable skills to become ever-more adept. Everyone has these inner tools that we can use to do things like access ecstasy, expand arousal, increase pleasure, hone erotic awareness. Ultimately, everyone can become an erotic virtuoso. You can learn to play amazing erotic solos with yourselves and fabulous duets with others.

    We’re so excited about Succulent SexCraft that we’re a celebrating the launch with a major marketing program. People who buy the book between September 14-16 (and possibly beyond) also get access to over $1,000 in wonderful free gifts from some of our favorite sex, relationship and empowerment teachers. It’s a great opportunity for anyone who wants to make the most out of their intimate life.

    SimplySxy: Is there a sense of expectation or pressure with Succulent Sexcraft following the success of Women’s Anatomy of Arousal?

    Sheri Winston: Not for me. It’s just the next step in my mission to support sexual empowerment and integration.

    SimplySxy: There are still a lot of people who prefer avoiding discussions about sex openly. What do you think is the main reason and what can be done to make them feel more comfortable to talk about it?

    Sheri Winston: Well, it’s sex! And sex, is never just about sex. Our sexuality is connected to everything. We have a lot of shame and excitement around sex. There’s desire, lust, love, expectation, taboos and judgements. We have complex inner stories and ambiguous cultural narratives around all things sexual. Sex is complicated territory.

    It’s hard to talk about things we really don’t understand. Erotic energy is a powerful and compelling force. Most of us haven’t learned how to navigate its vigorous currents or understand our own sexual dynamics well.

    We don’t see good modelling of how to have healthy, clear conversations with partners or potential partners about sex, boundaries, desires, fantasies, activities and issues. We don’t get good role models of healthy relationships and skilled sexual communication in our communities or institutions, either. That makes it hard to learn how to talk about it.

    Add to that the fact that we lack yummy, comfortable, accessible language for sexual body parts and erotic activities, and it’s not surprising that anything sexual can be hard to talk about.

    SimplySxy: Sex education (or the lack of) has been making a lot of news for some time. At what age do you think sex education should begin and is it up to the state or schools to do more about it?

    Sheri Winston: Sex education is something that happens throughout our lives. It begins when you’re a baby. It includes so many unconscious things like how our parents and care-givers act when they changed our diapers and washed our crotch. It was absorbed as we watched and felt how our families were with their own sexuality, with their own bodies. It’s happening throughout our lives as we absorb message both subtle and overt about our bodies, our genitals, pleasure, gender roles and so on. In my ideal world, we’re all educators of how to be in healthy happy relationship with sexuality.

    I also believe that our schools should be teaching about sexuality and related issues throughout all grades. Teaching about boundaries, respect, responsibility, and communication should go along with information about our bodies and our sexuality in a comprehensive curriculum of how to be a healthy happy human. Truly comprehensive sexuality education would include developing emotional, physical and sexual intelligence, communication skills, how to have exquisite boundaries and how to enhance pleasure.

    SimplySxy: You run an extensive number of classes and workshops based on the Wholistic Sexuality™ framework. Which are the most popular classes that people sign up for?

    Sheri Winston: It varies widely because I teach to so many different audiences from a wide range of the lay public to highly trained medical professionals and sexuality educators. Some of my most popular classes include: Secrets of Sexual Pleasure; Women’s Anatomy of Arousal (Men’s, too.); Orgasmic Abundance for Everyone; Succulent SexCraft; and The Art of Female Ejaculation.

    SimplySxy: Do you feel that there are global differences when it comes to Sex in general? In terms of different cultures across the world that certain techniques or curriculums might have to be tweaked slightly?

    Sheri Winston: While there are enormous cultural differences in our wide world, sexuality is a human thing. The basics of my philosophy and my teaching—that everyone is capable of having extraordinary sex, that fabulous sex is learnable, that our sexuality begins with ourselves, and that we all have the ability to connect to our ecstatic potential—applies equally to all people.

    SimplySxy: Thank you very much Sheri for your time. It has certainly been a pleasure to feature you on SimplySxy and we wish you all the best for Succulent Sexcraft!


    To learn more, visit the Website of Sheri Winston’s Center for the Intimate Arts at: http://intimateartscenter.com/


    Image courtesy of Sheri Winston
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  • Becoming a Sexologist

    Becoming a Sexologist

    Growing up experiences are different for each of us. Our biographies change according to our culture, language, country, family, school, among other reasons. I want to share part of mine with you. I was born in Mexico City, one of the biggest cities in the world. My parents come from conservative families and they always gave us the best education they could afford and I cannot complain about that. We went to good schools throughout all our education and had great opportunities. Even though both my parents worked full time, they were always there for us, helping with homework and special assignments. And let’s face it; we were a lot into studying and reading. Why do I tell you all these? It is just to give you an idea how was it when I was growing up. My parents were always talking openly to us about news, school, family issues, and yet I do not remember having “the sex talk” back then.

    At school, I had some classes where teachers told us about reproduction, the body parts, and anything you normally learn at school, except erotic intercourses per se. When I was 14 years old, one of my teachers suggested for us to read a book about sexuality. Since my father was always very keen to buy books for us, I asked him if he could get me that book. He bought it and when he got home, he asked my mother to read and then they will decide whether it was appropriate for me. The same happened with a psychology magazine that talked about sexuality and STDs. I am still waiting for them to give me those books back so I can read them. All around sex was not something we would talk about.

    AIDS started to be mainstream when I was seven years old and I asked my mom how could someone get the virus. She told my dad about my question and he lectured me about the things we should not ask about. After those experiences, I did not ask them at home anymore. When I was 15 years old, someone asked me if I knew how parents “make babies”. I said, “of course I know” rolling my eyes, like all teenagers do. The truth is, I was clueless about it. I knew that we need an egg and sperm and that is called conception, but not about how parents “put” those ingredients together to “make babies”.

    Long story short, I had my first boyfriend and I did not understand why he kept wanting to put his hands on me and I kept avoiding more any physical contact except for kisses. University started and, if I remembered correctly, I was into my second year when the University organised an event where very well-known experts had conferences programs conducted during a week. One of those experts was a sexologist. I saw her on TV twice before that day and I remember myself feeling embarrassed yet very interested to listen all she had to say. The talk was great and she answered lots of questions in a very colloquial way and at the same time, making one think about it in a serious manner. The talk finished, people stood up and I stayed behind. At that moment, I decided that was what I should be: a Sexologist. And here I am, after years, I’ve reached the first goal!

    Why am I telling you this long story? Because when I was a teenager, I thought I was the only ignorant one in my entire school and that everybody else knew all about sex, intercourses, etc. Then I realised I was not the only one who lack of information. I blamed my parents, the school, the country, culture of my lack of sexual education and told myself that I had to do something about it, and I studied to become a sexologist. That was the main reason, my country had a huge issue and I saw myself as a super hero.

    Digging and digging, I found out through my professional experience around the globe that the lack of a proper sexual education is not limited to my country or to the least developed countries. In some places, there is a wrong idea that talking about sex topics is a way to encourage young people to start having an active sexual life or they simply talk about sex when there is an increase of teen pregnancies or STD; there are not prevention programs. In the opposite side, there are places where there are programs regarding sexual education available but young people feel shy about asking more or to talk openly about their feelings, fears, and doubts around sexual intercourse, dating, love.

    Sexual education was/is a present issue. It is not only with teenagers, there are adults who lack such information and this only complicates problems in their life, especially for couples who have just begin a relationship. It does not matter that we are in the age of technology, with or without Internet and ebooks, we will always need to have clear and real information. We are sexual beings from the day that we are concepted until we die. As a sexologist, my commitment to myself is to give a bit of help whereas is giving therapy, talks, or writing. At the end of the day, my inner teenager is leaning hand by hand with the adult I am nowadays 🙂


    Image courtesy of Shuttlestock
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  • Interview with Dr Roger Libby on Sex Positivity

    Interview with Dr Roger Libby on Sex Positivity

    Interview with Dr Roger Libby

    SimplySxy: What was the inspiration and motivation that made you want to be a sexologist?

    Dr Roger Libby: It was on my parents’ advice! They told me to follow my passion and choose a career that I loved—to do something I was good at, and something I enjoyed. My passion has always been sexual enthusiasm and the excitement sex creates. When I enrolled in graduate school to pursue my passion, my parents were surprised (“We didn’t know you’d take us literally!”), but they shouldn’t have been!

    SimplySxy: It is very common to hear the term “sex positivity” being used these days in various instances. As the pioneer who created the term sex positivity in 1976, what is your definition of it and how has the term evolved to the present?

    Dr Roger Libby: I created and popularized “sex-positive” based on the writings of sexologist Wilhelm Reich in Germany in the 1940’s to emphasize that erotic pleasure is indeed positive—a healthy, enthusiastic and playful option to the overemphasis on sex as a problem. Sex doesn’t have to be a problem! Being sex-positive means affirming sexual open, joyous sexual freedom and consensual, lusty pleasure. It means supporting rather than stifling sexually free and uplifting choices, and offering sex education that is pro-sexual rather than anti-sexual (as with the current emphasis on abstinence). My award-winning university textbook in 1980 with Gilbert Nass and Mary Pat Fisher, Sexual Choices, was dedicated “Toward a Sex-Positive Society.

    SimplySxy: One of your specialities is in couple counselling and sex therapy. What is one advice you can give to couples in long- term relationships in order to have regular sex and enjoy it as well?

    Dr Roger Libby: In my Seattle couples counseling practice, I emphasize long term relationships benefit from prioritizing and varying acts of sexual passion. Lust and love need equal billing, so passion is encouraged. Rather than overemphasizing work and children, sexual playtime needs to include sharing and acting on erotic fantasies with plenty of laughter and imagination. This means creating sexual experiences that are not a repeat of the last lovemaking session. It means having sex by a river and not just in a bed. It means experimenting with sexual positions, oral sex and for some, anal sex. For some couples, it means engaging in sex with others at a swinger party, or as part of an open or polyamorous relationship. We cannot assume that monogamy suits all couples for their entire lifetime together. I would play down alcohol and for some couples, marijuana can enhance sex.

    SimplySxy: Your book, The Naked Truth About Sex, aims to provide enough information to teenagers and college students to make wise sexual choices. It is no secret that teenagers are having sex and many are sexually active at an increasingly younger age. Is sexual education in schools now more important than ever?

    Dr Roger Libby: My book is available, along with my humor book, at Amazon. Both books underscore an informed, consensual and playful approach to sex. I did a reanalysis of a Zogby poll for my teenage book, and I found that only 0.5% of females and 1% of males in the youngest age cohort, 18‒24, had not had sex. So much for abstinence before marriage! I carried out an extensive interview study of a random sample of parents to ascertain their attitudes toward high school sex education in the mid-1960s. Most wanted sex education, but they wanted their basically sex-negative view of education touting abstinence and monogamy for all. Today’s sex education in public high schools is still limited and very traditional. If we only learn about the dangers of sex, there is no balance resulting in objective, comprehensive sex education. Sex education is extremely important today, but given the resistance from political correctness, The Internet and phone apps offer the most promising avenues to real sex education. The schools and the media have failed teenagers and young adults by watering down and moralizing about sex. This will never work!

    SimplySxy: We understand that there are schools and some education systems in various parts of the world which do not provide adeuate sexual education to students. For example, promoting the use of condoms might be seen as promoting sex. What do you think needs to be done for this to change?

    Dr Roger Libby: Some schools include information about condoms, but they still fail to affirm pleasure. They tend to focus on STIs and unwanted pregnancy to the near exclusion of a sex-positive form of sex education. Notable exceptions are Sweden and Holland, where sex education is thorough and non-moralistic. It is true that contraceptive education is still highly controversial, as many adults in power view such education as promoting sex. Even in my mid-1960’s study of parents, most approved of contraceptive education. Birth control and abortion make sexual freedom possible. Given recent Supreme Court decisions about birth control, it is obvious that we reside in a theocracy with the lack of true separation of church and state. As Wilhelm Reich stressed, rigid religion is the arch-enemy of sex.

    SimplySxy: You have previously announced that sexual “addiction” does not exist. Does this mean that one can never have too much sex and that there is no such thing as excessive masturbation/sexual activity?

    Dr Roger Libby: “Sex Addiction” and the notion of Sex Addiction Therapy is an unproven concept that has not been empirically supported. The DSM manual that therapists use to diagnose mental conditions chose not to include this irrational concept in its most recent edition, because there is not sufficient research support or conceptual clarity to justify its inclusion. You can’t be addicted to yourself. Sex is part of us. The moralistic connotation of the concept is inescapable. There are far too many mental health counselors who claim to solve “sex addiction.” Marriage and family counselor organizations have done us a great disservice by promoting “sex addiction,” as if it is a viable reality. It is not. This does not mean that some are not obsessive and compulsive about sex, and they need some counseling to put sex in balance. If you can’t make it to work because you are masturbating to mostly unimaginative porn, this is a problem, but otherwise, how could we have too much sex?! “Sex addiction” counselors assume there is a standard that dictates what is normal sexually, and this is untrue. Cognitive-behavior therapy helps these people enjoy sex without obsessing about it in an unbalanced manner. Contrary to “sex addiction” counselors, sex is not something to fear. These counselors tend to use the twelve step program to solve addictions, but this does not work, because this outdated AA approach does not get at internal locus of control. We are not powerless to take control of our behavior. To the contrary, we have the potential to take complete control of our thoughts, feelings and behavior, including sexually.

    SimplySxy: Thank you very much Dr Roger Libby for taking your time out to answer our questions. We greatly appreciate your effort and am sure our readers have enjoyed the interview as well.


    To learn more, visit the Website of Seattle sex therapist and couples counselor, Dr. Roger Libby at: http://www.drrogerlibby.com

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  • Erotic novel: Keeping Sarah is out today

    Erotic novel: Keeping Sarah is out today

    Julie Shelton’s Keeping Sarah is out today.
    SimplySxy takes this opportunity to interview Julie and find out more about Keeping Sarah, the inspiration behind her writing and future novels in the making.

    Can you tell us a little about your new book Keeping Sarah that just came out on August 7th?

    Keeping Sarah is my third contemporary BDSM ménage romance for Siren Publishers. It is the third and final installment in the series which began with Loving Sarah, published in 2012, and its sequel, Owning Sarah, published last September. By the time I finished writing Loving Sarah, it was clear to me that I had enough material for more than one book, hence the sequel, Owning Sarah. Both are MFM ménages. But even though Owning Sarah ended with Sarah, Jesse and Adam’s wedding and their happy ending, I couldn’t stop thinking about the three characters. I couldn’t help but feel that Jesse and Adam needed to explore the feelings they were developing for each other as well as for their beloved wife, Sarah. So, Keeping Sarah was born. But this is Jesse Colter and Adam Sinclair and nothing comes easy for them. So, in addition to telling Jesse and Adam’s evolving love story, Keeping Sarah is also a harrowing thrill ride of deadly car chases, Albanian blood feuds, a sex slave auction, murder, betrayal, and gut-wrenching intrigue.

    Please tell us how the idea came to you for Jesse Colter, your main hero. Be sure to include all the fun details.

    It started with his name. Jesse Colter. It was the perfect name for a Dominant, alpha hero. I spent months thinking about him and coming up with a compelling back-story for him.

    Abandoned by his Native American mother, neglected and abused by his alcoholic bully of a father, Jesse is embittered, angry and going nowhere fast. At age nineteen, he takes a summer job as part-time gardener at the Marshall estate and meets thirteen-year-old Sarah Marshall. To a hardened biker and sexual Dominant, Sarah Marshall is like some fey, magical creature from another world, and he is enchanted by her. For the first time in his life, Jesse has someone who thinks he’s wonderful. Someone who listens to him and values his opinion. Someone who makes him laugh and who cares for him. Sarah Marshall quickly becomes someone precious to him. Someone to treasure and protect. Someone to love. At first he loves her as an adult loves a child.

    But as Sarah grows into a beautiful, voluptuous young woman who makes no effort to hide her growing love for him, Jesse is terrified that his carnal feelings for her and his Dominant nature will end up destroying the one thing he treasures most—Sarah Marshall. So he leaves their small town of Marshall’s Creek and joins the Navy, becoming a SEAL. Eight years of grueling training and dangerous missions give him a sense of identity and self-worth. He realizes that he is a man of honor and integrity and is finally able to admit to himself that he needs Sarah in order to make him complete. Determined to do whatever it takes to win her trust and her love, he returns to Marshall’s Creek. That’s where their love story begins in Loving Sarah. It continues in Owning Sarah, and finishes with a bang in Keeping Sarah.

    What influenced you to send your first book to a publisher? How long did it take?

    I spent four years writing, editing, polishing, re-writing Loving Sarah. It was a never-ending cycle. Then I lost it. Completely wiped it out of my computer. I was devastated. The thought of having to recreate an entire 400-page novel from scratch was so daunting, I fell into a deep depression. Then around four months after I lost it, I had to print something and that’s when I discovered that the entire novel, minus the last 15 pages, was still in the print queue. I was elated! And I knew that I had to send it off to a publisher immediately, before my ignorance of computers caused something else to happen to it. Siren was the first publisher I submitted it to, mainly because they published a lot of my favorite authors. Around three weeks after I sent it to them, they emailed me and asked me to make a few changes. I figured this was a pretty good sign, thinking if they weren’t interested in it at all, they wouldn’t have bothered to ask for the changes. They offered to publish it less than two weeks after I submitted the revised manuscript.

    Could you tell us a couple of favorite authors who inspired you to write?

    Sure. Lora Leigh; Maya Banks; CheriseSinclairSophieOakLisaMarieRiceLaurenDaneJoeyWHillLeahBrookeEdenBradleyKristenAshleyLexiBlakeShaylaBlackFionaArcherLyndaAicher—and that’s just her first name! My earliest influences, years and years ago, back in the dark ages, were Mary Stewart’s romantic suspense novels and Phyllis Whitney’s gothic novels.

    Is music a factor for you while you are writing? Do certain songs put you in the right frame of mind to write certain stories?

    When I put music on, it’s to listen to it, so I usually find it distracting when I’m writing because I want to sing or hum along with it. It’s hard to write when you’re bopping around in your chair, singing at the top of your lungs, lol

    If you could collaborate with one author who would it be?

    Good grief, there’s no way I could pick just one! Go to the list above, close your eyes and point. I’ll go with her.

    What is the strangest source of writing inspiration you’ve ever had?

    Years ago I was watching the movie, Becket (with Richard Burton and Peter o’Toole). In one scene there was a minor female character dressed in a blue gown. I was finishing my BA in French at the time and doing extensive research on life in a thirteenth-century French castle.

    Well, the minute I saw that gown, an entire romance novel sprang into my mind. I couldn’t write it down fast enough. And since I was taking all my research notes on 3 x 5 index cards, that’s what I wrote the novel on. I wound up with two shoeboxes full of index cards, one with all my research notes, the second with my novel. Last year I transcribed the entire book onto my computer and that became Dark Warrior, my third book for Siren, published in January of this year.

    What are you working on now?

    Oh, I am so glad you asked that! I am nearly half-way through with Passion’s Dream, the first book in my new Passion Lake series. It’s a series of books about a bunch of Jesse and Adam’s former SEAL buddies, all characters in the three Sarah books, who buy a bankrupt town around thirty miles down the road from Marshall’s Creek and turn it into a profitable tourist attraction. Passion’s Dream is about Clay “Raven” Nighthorse, who is hired to protect Leah Stanhope, a woman with whom he had a brief encounter three years ago on a California beach. When their location is compromised, he brings her to his ranch in Passion Lake, where he has plenty of friends who are willing to help keep her safe while he devotes himself to proving that he wants and needs her in his life. Permanently.

    Look for Passion’s Dream, Passion’s Fury, and Passion’s Hope, the first three exciting books in the Passion Lake series, at the beginning of 2015.

    Below is a brief excerpt from Passion’s Dream.

    Unperturbed by her anger, he reached out and placed his fingertips against her cheek.

    She jerked her head away, but otherwise couldn’t move. It was as if she’d been turned to stone. “Don’t touch me!” She’d meant it to be an icy command, but instead it came out a choked, frightened whisper.

    Ignoring her, he sent his fingers on a journey along the line of her jaw, down the slender column of her neck. He paused at the base of her neck, holding the tip of his index finger over the pulse hammering there, betraying her agitation. The journey continued down over her collar bones, across the creamy, sloping mound of her breast to the edge of her bikini top. When she made no move to stop him, he hooked his forefinger into the stretchy material. When she still didn’t move, he allowed his fingernail to scrape against her tender flesh as he traced the outline of the fabric down to its lowest point—the point where it stretched across the shadowed valley between her breasts.

    “Don’t—”It was a choked whisper. She closed her eyes, but she made no attempt to remove his hand. She was trembling, every clamoring nerve aware of his nearness, the potent sexuality of his hard, male body so close to hers. ‘I-I’m engaged to be married.”

    “Ah, yes.” His lips twisted. “The ever-devoted fiance. Tell me, Leah,” he tugged her toward him, the weight of his hand pulling the stretchy, jersey top downward and outward, threatening to release the rounded fullness of her breasts. “Tell me about him. What’s it like making love to an old man?”

    She should have pushed him away. She should have stepped back—anything to put distance between them. Instead, she stared up at him helplessly, trapped as much by the confusion leaping within her as she was by the sensual spell he seemed to be weaving around her like a web.

    Resting his left elbow on the underwater shelf, he lifted his other hand to shape the back of her head, his long fingers threading through the damp silk of her hair. “Does his touch arouse you?” Slowly, sensuously, he pulled her toward him, closing the distance between them, until his firm, mobile mouth was less than an inch from her own, his breath warm against her lips. “Set you on fire?” The hard contours of his body brushed tantalizingly against the softly rounded curves of her own as the cool water undulated against them. “Does he kiss you like this?” Clay persisted, dropping a warm, feather-light kiss near one corner of her trembling mouth, “like a father? Or perhaps like an uncle or older brother, like this,” he pressed his lips first to her cheek, then, tilting her head down, her forehead. “Or does he kiss you like a lover? Like this”—and his mouth closed over hers in a dark, golden storm, his lips expertly parting hers to admit the probing sweetness of his tongue.

    Leah stiffened and tried to pull away, but it was too late. The flame ignited by his touch was all-consuming. Without volition, her arms went around his neck, her legs circled his waist, ankles locking behind him. The sheer size of the erection pressing against her sex made her gasp. Her belly plummeted, sending moisture gushing out of her pussy onto the thin strip of fabric that was her bikini bottom. She’d never been so aroused in her life. Her traitorous body arched toward his, her hips grinding her sex against his cock. She moaned into his mouth as his arms went tightly around her back, crushing her soft breasts to his hard chest. Locked together, they sank beneath the surface of the water. Instead of panicking and struggling to break free, Leah wound her arms tightly around his neck and held on, trusting in his care of her.

    Without breaking the kiss, Clay pushed off the deep end of the pool with a powerful thrust of his muscular legs, gliding swiftly through the water to the center of the pool, where he could stand up. They broke the surface still locked together, their mouths tearing apart only long enough to drag air into their oxygen-starved lungs before crushing back together, tongues dueling passionately.

    Leah loosened her hold on his neck, running her hands wonderingly over his shoulders and back, savoring the power of the muscles flexing beneath his satin-smooth skin, delighting in the heat of his body beneath the cool slickness of the pool water. In spite of the pervading smell of chlorine, she could still smell his clean, masculine scent. Losing all reason, she broke off the kiss to bury her face in the side of his neck, where it curved into his shoulder, inhaling that scent deep into her lungs. Daringly, she put out her tongue and took a tiny lick of his warm, moist skin. God, he tasted so good! He felt so good! She couldn’t stifle the groan that ripped from her throat. Her hands curved around to the back of his head, her fingers gripping the thick, wet mass of his hair, holding his head still. She drew a shuddering breath, trying desperately to get herself under control. This is a mistake! This is a colossal mistake!


    Keeping Sarah is out and can be purchased on www.bookstrand.com/keeping-sarah


    Image courtesy of Julie Shelton
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  • J.A. Wiśniewska, Erotica Author

    J.A. Wiśniewska, Erotica Author

    J.A. Wiśniewska kick started her foray into erotica eighteen months ago after discovering the site Booksiesilk and decided to try her hand at erotica. Armed with a background in journalism and publishing, she quickly saw success with her three published short stories on Booksiesilk which spurred her on to work on her debut novel, Exploration.

    Recently released, Exploration is a short story compilation exploring the different aspects of sex and human sexuality. Ranging from plain vanilla to more risqué tales, Exploration leads the reader to encounter various characters ever ready to experiment with their sexuality. From a woman who finds her new masseur impossible to resist to a thief who, as punished for his crime, becomes the plaything of the sheriff’s wife, Exploration has been quick to receive a 5 star review on Amazon.

    A European writer who credits Golden Angel and Megalanthropus as her favorite erotica writers, and Joanne Harris, Mark Haddon, Kate Mosse and JK Rowling as her favorite authors, she presently resides in Krakow Poland.

    SimplySxy had the opportunity to sit down with J.A. to talk about the release of her new novel and her thoughts on sexuality and erotica.

    SimplySxy: J.A., tell us more about Exploration and what was the driving force behind the ten short stories.

    J.A. Wiśniewska: Earlier this year I had a couple of ideas for stories and, seeing how easy it was to publish on Booksiesilk, I wrote them and put them up on the site. After quite a few encouraging comments, and then finding out from a friend about how now self-publishing is virtually free and very easy, I decided to give myself the challenge of writing a book. As I am still fairly new to erotica, I found that I was exploring with different aspects of sex and sexuality in my writing, seeing what I enjoyed writing about. And so Exploration was born. The book is a collection of ten short stories, all looking at different aspects of sex, including romance-style stories, masturbation, sex in public and light BDSM.

    SimplySxy: How does the perspective of a fan differ from that of an author in your opinion?

    J.A. Wiśniewska: I suppose authors can be more critical of others’ work. Thankfully I haven’t come across any negative comments when using Booksiesilk, and nor would I write any: just because I don’t like it doesn’t mean someone else won’t. Speaking from a personal perspective, I’m especially critical of a story when there is appalling spelling, grammar and punctuation: I’m a real stickler for it and it really dampens my enjoyment when someone just hasn’t bothered to proofread their stuff or, as it is in some cases, hasn’t bothered trying to write correctly in the first place. Perhaps a fan of the genre who just wants to read a sexy story to get in the mood to have sex with their partner wouldn’t mind something like this, but for me it’s a real sticking point.

    SimplySxy: In your opinion, how has the onset of the digital media and easy access to pornography impacted erotica in the written form?

    J.A. Wiśniewska: There has been both a positive impact and a negative impact, in my opinion. Living in a digital world as we do today means more people can access pornography and erotica: I, for example, would never have started reading erotica if it hadn’t been for the internet. And from conversations I’ve had, with men especially, I think that people are starting to wake up to the fact that erotica in the written form has far more scope for the imagination than visual pornography. I’m not saying pornography doesn’t have its place – it does – but in the written form we can explore things on a deeper level, a more emotional level, than we can with pornography. On the other hand, the large number of free erotica sites – where people can publish their work with great ease – has meant that there is now a plethora of work online, not all of it good. In fact, most of the stuff I read online is pretty bad. A lot of stories have no real storyline, just really badly-described sex. Of course it’s all subjective, and for a lot of people they write for fun and don’t care if other people like it, which is fine. But from my point of view it does make finding stuff I would like reading very difficult as I have to wade through stories I don’t like.  

    SimplySxy: We’re keen to see more works from you in times to come. Are you planning for a next novel? 

    J.A. Wiśniewska: I do plan to do a follow-up book for Exploration with ten more stories; I’ve already started a couple. But the main project I am working on at the moment is a retelling of the story of Janosik, who is basically the Polish version of Robin Hood. In legend, he committed an act of bravery in front of three witches. As a reward they bestowed upon him three powers which aided him in his activities to rob the rich to give to the poor. As an erotica writer I’m having a lot of fun playing around with that. 

    SimplySxy: Thank you J.A. for your time and for sharing your opinions so openly with us.

    J.A. Wiśniewska is available for interviews. For booking interviews please contact jawisniewska83@gmail.com.

    Image courtesy of J.A. Wiśniewska
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  • Interview with Erotica Novelist: Troy Lambert

    Interview with Erotica Novelist: Troy Lambert

    A sexual tryst at the Seven Bells Motel

    One-Night-in-Boise-by-Troy-Lambert-500-200x300Detective Derek Marshek’s sex life with his wife Cheri is amazing and they take it up a notch by including role plays into their sexual trysts at the Seven Bells Motel.  One day, Derek’s world gets turned upside down.  A dead body is found outside their motel and his gun is missing.  But is there more to this crime scene than meets the eye? An erotica with a mixture of romance and suspense, One Night in Boise takes the reader through a roller coaster ride keeping them on the edge of their seats through its twists and turns.

    SimplySxy takes the opportunity to speak to the author, Troy Lambert on his insipiration behind One Night in Boise and the advice he can give to aspiring erotica writers who wish to try their hand in writing.


    [Interview with Troy Lambert]

     SimplySxy: What was the inspiration behind One Night in Boise?

     Troy: The inspiration for One Night in Boise was a challenge: I write thrillers, had written sex    scenes in them, but this took at least the sex to another level. As sex is certainly thrilling and can be suspenseful, it seemed right up my alley. The story idea came to me early one morning, with the simple first line of the book, “It’s a dangerous game we play.”

    SimplySxy: One Night in Boise is book one of the City Nights Series. How does the series link up?

    Troy: The City Nights series is an erotic romance series sponsored by Tirgearr Publishing. The guidelines are simple: the story must be novella length, take place in a 24 hour period in a city of the author’s choosing. The story must be a mix of erotica and romance—not just a “sex” story, but one with strong character development as well.

    I’m also the managing editor of the series, and the next book is One Night in Paris by Lucy Felthouse, followed by One Night in Rome by C. Margery Kempe and One Night in New Orleans by Kristi Ahlers. There will be one novella released a month, until we run out of authors and cities.

    SimplySxy: How do you differentiate between erotica and romance?

    Troy: Romance is more about characters and story. Much of the genre, like other fiction, is character or plot driven. Romance can have several heat levels, from the closed bedroom door, mild level of sex to erotic, hot love scenes.

    Erotica is more about hot sex. Sex not only must be an integral part of the story, but it often is the story.

    In this series the blend of the two is very important. The sex must be hot, but the story also has to be good, thus the erotic romance category. I added a sub-genre of thriller and it seems to work very well for readers.

    SimplySxy: Are there any advice to new authors?

    I get asked this one often, and my stock answer is this: if you can do something else, do it. Being a writer, making a living at it, is hard, and you really don’t get paid all that well for all the hours you put in.

    But if like me, you find you really aren’t good for much else, and “normal” jobs seem to never work out because you simply have to write and you can’t help yourself, then stop worrying about how to “make a living” as a writer.

    Do things with two criteria: Write things you enjoy writing that also pay at least something. Then learn to live on what you can make pursuing your passion. You might be poor for a while or even a long time, but you will be doing what you love and that is worth more than any mansion or fancy car.


    [Excerpt]

    It’s a dangerous game we play.

    We like to play year round, but the snow, the cold has us turning to other games to pass the time in the winter. Tonight, though it is not yet spring, it is warm for early April, and we are both ready.

    The yellow streetlights emit tight yellow pools of light that she avoids carefully. I circle the block, seeing if I can spot her in the shadows. When she spies the old Caprice, she steps to the curb.

    She wears red leather. My favorite. A tight mini skirt, thigh high boots, and a laced corset envelop her curves. Her scarlet lipstick matches a bow wrapped in her brunette hair, completing the look.

    She’s not as young as she used to be, but then neither am I. When I look at her though, I still see the girl I married over 20 years ago. Other guys try to pick her up whenever we play, and once she even had to explain the game to a passing undercover officer, one of my colleagues. It cost me a $150 bottle of scotch to sweep that one under the rug, but it was worth it.

    I pull alongside and roll down the passenger window. “Hey there.”

    “Looking for a date?” She blows little bubbles with the gum she chews, popping them with her teeth. Oh, God those teeth, those lips, that mouth.

    “Yeah baby, how much?”

    Her gaze crawls over me, evaluating, craving. “For you, $20 for a blow, half and half for $40, and all the way for $80.”

    “It’s a deal. Get in.”

    Opening the door, she drops into the passenger seat. The skirt rides up, and her lace panties peek out at me. She tugs the skirt down seductively, but not before I spot the wetness at her crotch. I can hardly sit still and wonder how my erection is not interfering with the steering wheel. Jesus, she turns me on.

    She puts her gloved hands on my arm, and the hairs there stand to attention. “You have someplace we can go?”

    “Sure do,” I say. She shuts the door, and I drive to the Seven Bells Motel at the end of the block.


    Troy Lambert
    Author/Editor
    www.troylambertwrites.com
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  • Erika Lust, award winning porn director, speaks on SimplySxy

    Erika Lust, award winning porn director, speaks on SimplySxy

    Erika Lust, born in Stockholm in 1977, is an independent filmmaker, author, and founder of Erika Lust Films. After graduating from Lust University with a degree in Political Science with a focus on Feminism, Lust moved to Barcelona where her production company was established in 2005. She has directed 5 award winning erotic films and series – Five Hot Stories for Her, Barcelona Sex Project, Life Love Lust, Cabaret Desire and Xconfessions. Her brand-new, ongoing series Xconfessions combines Lust’s groundbreaking cinematic style with the public’s own sex stories to create a new genre of crowdsourced adult film. Her written works include Good Porn: a Woman’s Guide, The Erotic Bible to Europe, Love Me Like You Hate Me, La Canción de Nora, and Let’s Make a Porno: a Practical Guide to Filming Sex. Lust is committed to portraying a new kind of sexuality in adult film, pledging in her own words to “create new waves in adult cinema, to show all of the passion, intimacy, love and lust in sex: where the feminine viewpoint is vital, the aesthetic is a pleasure to all of the senses, and those seeking an alternative to porn can find a home.”

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    SimplySxy: What was the inspiration behind your move into the erotic film industry as a director?

    Erika Lust: While in university at Lund, I was inspired by the works of Linda Williams and the idea that porn could be empowering to women’s sexuality. But the porn I’d seen up to that point didn’t really fit the theory, so though I still believed in its value, the contradiction really bothered me. After graduating and moving to Barcelona, I started working in production houses, and got the practical knowledge of how to make a film. So I began taking directing classes and considered making the kind of erotic film I’d never seen before, but always wanted. When my first film, The Good Girl, was downloaded over a million times, I began to consider a career in the adult industry more seriously.

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    SimplySxy: Do your films have a particular style that is different from others?

    Erika: Absolutely. This first thing that sets my films about is the dedication to showing female pleasure…. Something glaringly absent in most pornos. And those horrible fake orgasms? What a turn off!

    I also like to hire performers who are good looking, but could also be your neighbor or best friend or the cute waiter at your favorite restaurant. They are love sex, and love their job. Trust me when I say this makes all the difference and can really be seen in the end product.

    Directing and capturing the little moments during sex can make all the difference in simply filming two people having sex, and making the film a total turn on. The way people gasp, look at each other, how hands grip flesh, whispering into ears, dirty talk, lip biting, messy kisses … they are all part of the sex we have in real life that is often left out of explicit film, and yet are so important as part of an erotic experience.

    Finally I place HUGE importance on aesthetics in my movies – just because it’s a movie about sex is no excuse for crappy quality. I use the highest quality HD and Red cameras, devote months to hunting down cool modern locations (not just bedrooms!), use cool indie music soundtracks, opt for natural looking makeup and normal-looking outfits for my performers (no pimps or hos here), and go for the coolest new sex toys and designer lingerie.

    SimplySxy: What is the secret behind how long the male stars can last while having sex without ejaculating?

    Erika: There is no secret – performers in the adult industry, both men and women, have extraordinary control over their bodies. I think this is something people really forget when considering the male talent – there’s this idea that any guy could show up, have sex with a beautiful woman, and put on a great show. But people who think this often forget that the performer basically needs to get and maintain an erection on cue, as well as ejaculate… With a crew of a dozen or more strangers in the room. Possibly with a co-star that he doesn’t find attractive, or after a very long journey the day before. All the while with a lot of pressure around his performance. Prolific male performers are extremely talented to be able to work (well) under these conditions, and that is a reason that there are so few of them as opposed to their female counterparts.

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    SimplySxy: And what happens if the male stars are required to ejaculate but are unable to?

    Erika: It is up to the performer to get an erection, maintain it, and ejaculate, which as I say above is quite a talent. But some days that just isn’t going to happen. Usually we take a break to give the performer time he needs to get excited (or calm down) and then continue shooting. If there is still trouble, that’s where creative angles, short takes, editing – and faking it – come in handy!

    SimplySxy: Are the actors and actresses really enjoying the sex on film or are most of it acting?

    Erika: I don’t know, it’s difficult to say. I like to hire performers who love their job, who love sex and exhibitionism. Some of the best scenes I’ve shot have been where the actors said they really enjoyed the sex they had that day, or with that specific performer. Other times, a truly great performer might not be that into their partner or the sex, but put on a convincing, and ultimately very hot show. When you are dealing with very talented actors, who are taking direction really well, the finished product should look the same either way.

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    SimplySxy: As a director, you have definitely seen your fair share of bloopers. Please tell us some of the extremely funny ones you remember?

    Erika: Honestly, most of the fun we have is just goofing around on set … the actors are usually wild extroverts who love to have a good time. But there were a few times that – because of the set location – we had to use an inflatable mattress. As anyone knows who has slept on one, they are not particularly stable (especially not when they’re being … jumped … on), and there have been a few times when the performers bounced right off!

    SimplySxy: To be an porn actor/actress, does one really need to be good at acting or acting talent isn’t really a pre-requisite as compared to say looks or the size of a men’s penis.

    Erika: First, they have to match the part I’m hiring them for. Then, we go through several interviews to make sure their attitude aligns with mine. Really, that is the most important thing – I want to know that they love sex, the making adult films is not just a way to make quick cash, and that they are familiar with my work and get what makes my films different. This way, when everyone arrives on set, we know exactly what we’ll need from each other in terms of directing and performance. Next to this, looks (or appendage size) mean very little.

    SimplySxy: One of our writers, Nicole Nelson, wrote an article on Feminist Porn on this Pornography feature. As a pioneer of feminist pornography, do you think perceptions of how women in pornography or portrayed or supposed to be portrayed is changing?

    Erika: I think that movements in the adult film world like feminist porn and amateur content are the main reason the industry has changed at all concerning women and their portrayal in xxx. Up until very recently, big mainstream production houses were creating the same terrible chauvinist films – recycling the same tired stereotypes and gender roles over and over – and it still hasn’t really changed in that regard. However, the internet had a huge democratizing effect, meaning suddenly indie producers like me and my contemporary feminist filmmakers were able to make and produce our own films without having to deal with any third parties (who had long made it clear to us that men were the only market and that there was no room for a new kind of adult film). Though our independent genres are still pretty small, and there is a VERY long way to go before sex is generally shown in an egalitarian way, it is thanks to the earliest feminist pornographers (and those expanding and evolving the genre today) that there is any diversity at all!

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    SimplySxy: As a parent yourself, and being in the porn industry, how do you think the topic of sex can be approach with kids and at what age?

    Erika: Well my daughters are still very young, but I plan on having the ‘sex talk’ pretty early on. I think I was around 7 or 8 when I learned about it (thanks to a liberal educated and a very open family) and it felt like a good age. It made puberty less confusing that’s for sure! I think the mix of learning about it in an academic, biological way in school and in a personal, emotional way with my family made all the difference…so that is the approach I plan to take.

    I also feel that there now needs to be a ‘porn talk’ between parents and kids in this day and age. I want to be able to explain to my girls what porn is, why it exists, why people like it, and why it most DEFINITELY is not sex in real life. That kind of context is so important because I think most kids now grow up with porn as their sex education … which is a really bad idea since it’s all fantasy.

    SimplySxy: Please share with us our SimplySxy readers what XConfessions is all about and is there a chance their story can be chosen to be turned into a film?

    Erica: Xconfessions is my latest project. On the webpage (www.xconfessions.com) you can anonymously submit your sex stories or wildest fantasies, and each month I pick my two favorites to be turned into erotic short films. It’s a new genre I like to call ‘crowdsourced’ erotica! Of course if your confession is picked, you get the films for free. So far, we have made 24 short films, with more released every month!

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    https://twitter.com/erikalust
    https://www.facebook.com/erikalustfilms
    http://instagram.com/erikalust
    http://erikalust.tumblr.com/
    youtube.com/user/erikastube

    Images courtesy of Erika Lust

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