Sex is one of the most connective experiences we can have as human beings. By my nature I’m a very sexual human being – so it permeates a lot of how I interact with the world around me. To me sex isn’t just limited by acts of penetration… there’s a whole world of ways to get your rocks off, and I like to explore every way possible particularly when we get into the kink scene. I’ve a personal motto, “Try everything twice. I may have just been in a bad mood the first time.” It’s led me to a lot of sexual experiences that I really enjoyed that I might not have ever tried if I was more timid.
Primarily I enjoy sexual encounters best with people I care about, but I also don’t particularly respond well to labels being assigned to those relationships. I’m an ethical slut… while I have sexual relations with multiple partners whom I am close to, it’s important for me to be open and honest with everyone as to what’s going on. If I was born earlier, I’d definitely have fit in amongst the free-loving 60s. The sexual roles I play with my partners (top/ bottom) changes from person to person based on what our connection with each other is like.
I also dig my sex being safe, sane and consensual. As great as sex is, there are some risks involved given diseases. That means both giving and receiving respect from partners, including being up to date with STD testing. It means making sure we learn and respect each others sexual boundaries. Sex is an act of trust and trust needs to develop from open and honest communications – about likes, desires and even fears. You can have sex without that level of trust, but in my experience that type of sex isn’t nearly as fulfilling.
First Time Nerves
Just chill. Don’t rush into anything. Start with the simple stuff… Touching one another. Caressing. Kissing. Foreplay is all about relaxing — about pulling yourself into the moment, Did you know that some of the most erogenous zones on the body have nothing to do with genitals? When I’m with a new lover the first time, I like to explore as much of their body as I can before we move into fucking. It helps me learn who they are and how best I can give them pleasure.
If you focus on these small interactions with your partner, the sexual tension builds until it’s natural to orgasm. It’s very similar to an idea which actors profess, “be in the moment.” The best sex involves losing yourself in the immediate acts of lovemaking rather than focusing on anything else. Let’s face it — when it’s good, time stops. There’s no thought other than the pleasure you and your partner are having. I find organically getting there through foreplay is the best way to relax during my first time with someone.
That all depends on the transsexual woman. Is she a top or a bottom with you? How comfortable is she with her own body? One thing that’s key to understanding transsexuals is that because we were born in a body that’s inconsistent with who we are, we experience some level of dysphoria from it. This varies from person to person. Personally I’m okay with the fact I still have male genitals. While I would have preferred to have been born with a vagina, I’m okay with both lovers and myself pleasuring my cock – it doesn’t trigger emotional discomfort for me to use my cock during sex. But there are other transwomen who can’t bear to see their cock let alone to have it touched or used during sex.
If you want to have a great sexual experience with a transwoman, you’ll need to have communication with her. How comfortable is she with her body? Does she want to penetrate or be penetrated? Like any other sexual encounter, you and your partner will need to negotiate what’s enjoyable for both of you. Once you are past that, it’s just like any other sexual encounter.
Recommended Sex Position
Kink it up a notch!
There’s a whole world of kink out there. Google it – lol. Some of my personal favorites include electroplay and ropeplay. Fifty Shades of Grey barely touches the surface of what’s possible. For folks wanting to explore BDSM, I suggest starting with a book called “The Loving Dominant” – it’s not a perfect book by any means, but it does cover both the physical and emotional aspects of dominant/ submissive play and is a great introduction to those concepts.
TS porn star Wendy Summers was the 2013 RISE Shemale Performer of the Year and a three-time Transgender Erotica Award winner. Wendy has appeared in the DVD releases I Kill it TS Vol 1, Shemale Strokers 50; Bang My Tranny Ass 10; and 5th Annual Tranny Award Winners and has appeared on websites like Shemale Strokers, Shemale Yum, Shemale Pornstar & Wendy Williams XXX. Read the rest of her profile below and the links to her website www.WendySummers.com!
Images courtesy of Wendy Summers
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