Has something shifted in the female psyche!
I have been working as a sensual masseur and sex mentor for nearly 10 years and for most of that time it has been traditionally men who have discovered the pleasure of receiving a professional therapeutic/sensual massage. For men, it is an opportunity to have an experience that is not boundaried by morality or appropriateness but allows, in fact encourages, intimate touch, arousal and orgasm. Popular opinion may have it that men are just looking for a quick turn on & climax when having an erotic massage but in reality many men seeking this experience do so because, quite simply, they love feeling the intimacy of touch and to be able to be cared for unconditionally for an hour or so with no judgement hindering their arousal.
One might ask if this is the same for the women? You would think so and to some degree, enjoying intimate caring touch is a part of the pleasure for women when taking a sensual massage but after giving well over 100 massages to women I can confidently say that this motivation is firmly shared with a need to release a far more carnal energy, an energy that many women are forced to suppress. I have seen many times with my female clients that bubbling below the gentle demure veneer of the ex convent girl and the efficient professional front of businesswomen or the shielded girl who presents a traditional valued lifestyle, lies a very powerful sexual force screaming to be released.
The common theme that most women give me when booking a massage is that the lifestyle they come from or are currently within is not providing them with the physical satisfaction that they desire and often fantasise about. Nature has embedded within the female psyche the need to feel desired, adored and wanted. To my mind, this is not a display of insecurity but more of a very clever strategy of nature. A behavior deeply embedded in all women to ensure that the male she chooses can prove his prowess and assertiveness, his desire and need for her, thus proving his ability to provide her with both a healthy genetic energy as well as be a strong protector and provider for her and her potential offspring.
In Victorian times, this suppression of female sexual desire and the often resulting explosion of passion and sexual energy was diagnosed as a mental disorder and considered as a sexual dysfunction. Known as Hysteria it was often “cured” by “qualified” doctors who “administered” massage of the clitoris (by hand or vibrator) to bring on a release of the disorder by achieving orgasm! Ironically this interpretation although misguided was not that far of the mark in that a women who is sexually suppressed will often fantasise and masturbate to release her anxiety. Fortunately, today women do not need to step into a cold insensitive consulting room to be administered by a crusty old medic. Today, they can explore and experience their natural desires in a safe empathetic environment that encourages and supports whatever sexual expression they want to experience and more and more women are doing this.
If I had to select 5 words to embody the effects of the sensual massage I give to men they would be, arousing, caring, supportive, honouring, bonding. The words I would use to describe the experience of the female enjoying the same massage would be, initially trusting and caring but quickly it shifts to arousing, erotic, explorative, continuous, adventurous, releasing, multi-orgasmic and explosive and finally totally repleted … 5 words are not enough!
Below are some of the reasons my female clients have given for wanting to enjoy a sensual massage.
- I enjoy regular massage, to have my muscles worked professionally but I also want to experience intimate touch so that I can connect with the deeper primal sensual part of myself
- I want to experience a sensual massage in “50 Shades of Grey” manner where the masseur is in complete control and I can just lay back and enjoy his authority with the knowledge that I am ultimately in control of all that takes place. (This style does not include any BDSM or role play but incorporates assertive massage and some physical body lifting as well as strong arousal techniques. Note: This style of massage can only be given to those with average to slim physiques)
- I like to enjoy the firm yet tender touch of a man without the need to perform or give back sexually
- I enjoy receiving arousal and ultimate orgasm through gentle prolonged intimate touch rather than penetrative intercourse
- I have a loss of libido
- I have a fear of intimacy and am embarrassed about my body but still want to enjoy sensual arousal
- I experience painful intercourse, orgasmic dysfunction
- I am insecure and sexual inexperienced and want to learn more about my sexuality as well as how to give excellent sensual arousal to my partners
- I am a single women, who is happy to not be in a relationship and although my sex life is good, I miss the intimacy and tender touch that a relationship brings.
- I believe that it is right to be able to experience arousal and orgasm without commitment and responsibilities of a relationship.
- I want to explore orgasm as I have heard that there are multiple ways a female can achieve this.
- I am in a marriage/partnership where most else is good but the sex and intimacy has declined and I need to receive intimate attention within a safe professional therapeutic environment that is discreet and private that will not challenge my current situation
Is this a growing trend?
Without a doubt, women are becoming far more in touch with their sexual energies and at last becoming less influenced by social and religious constraints that dictate how they should conduct themselves sexually. Almost all the female clients I have seen have come to me for their first ever sensual massage and almost all of them say after that they had wished it had not taken them so long to take the step.
The female sexual dynamic is enormously strong, the urge to procreate and maintain the species is a fundamental role that every women is indentured from birth. With this goes the need for intimacy and caring approving touch, an aspect which sadly can often become lacking in longer term relationships so that if the sex stops, so does the physical intimacy.
Having a sensual massage from a professional masseur allows the female to enjoy this totally natural need but without fear of judgement, expectation even reprisal.
Listen to a brief voice interview I gave recently on female sexual behaviour compared to male sexual behaviour.