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Honey, I am HIV Positive


Honey, I am HIV Positive

Today, we talk about the subject of disclosing one’s HIV status. Many have already done so since HIV has been around since 1979 or so, when it was called GRID (gay-related immune disorder).

How does one disclose to a potential partner that he/she is HIV positive or has an STD? A good way to disclose is either in a public setting that is relaxing or private in a space that is special to you. Just ‘being yourself’ lets the person know you are real and that you are honest. Never talk down about your being HIV positive. Keep your head up and show the love for yourself and others by disclosing.

Remember, disclosing will be a lifelong process.  Disclosing one’s HIV status before having sex with a partner is the law in some states and countries.

Practice over a mirror. Just like you, the people you tell will need support as well. Don’t expect that just because you love someone, they will be able to support you after your disclosure. You may need to support them with this new information before they can be there for you. It is a good idea to have on hand a few telephone numbers of places they can go for support.

Groups of individuals that one may have to disclose to often include the following:

  • Family—can be painful and you don’t have to disclose to them until it feels ‘right’.
  • Friends—easiest.
  • Your children—consider their age before you doing so.
  • Husband or wife— hardest, they will have to be tested for HIV positivity!
  • Doctor—easy but worrisome.
  • Workplace – you do not have to tell. Know your rights!
  • Needle users—easy to do so at times and you must!

Tips for disclosing
Many have also found the below list to be effective when disclosing their status:

  • Trust your instincts, disclose when you are ready.
  • Think about what you’re going to say ahead of time.
  • Choose your time and place; don’t be rushed into it.
  • Share with people whom you trust.
  • Use your own words.
  • Tell two friends so that they can support each other and not need to lean solely on you.
  • If someone has lots of questions, ask him/her to do their own research. This will ease the pressure on you to “know it all”.
  • Ask for what you need: a shoulder to cry on, space to think about it, practical help when you need it.

When should I disclose my HIV status?
With some people, this happens only before sex or intimacy. For others, it may take place even before dating. However, always do so when sharing needles for you are the one responsible for yourself. In addition, children should be old enough to understand before being told. Although there is generally no particular ‘right time’, you should tell only when you feel ready or when you are legally required to do so. If you haven’t told anyone beforehand (as you should have), inform your sexual partners as soon as possible so they can be tested because there is now a chance of functional cure in cases of early treatment and detection.

Why should you tell?
It’s your duty to disclose under some laws and morally, it’s just the right thing to do! Moreover, it is both very therapeutic and liberating to be totally honest by letting others know your status. Take it slowly—you will be living with HIV for a long time, and your first responsibility is to yourself and to finding the support you need.

Disclosure can be scary, embarrassing, or painful.  However, frank conversation usually leads to better decisions and better sexual relationships. There is great freedom about telling the truth and letting people know who you really are.If we disclose when we should and protect ourselves, we automatically protect others. This also means that we slow down the spread of new HIV cases. Though, this only works through the ones who know that they are HIV positive.

Have self-respect, love who you are! Get tested! Know your HIV status!

Image courtesy of Shutterstock

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TG Green

Hi my name's TG GREEN! I'm a Southern American born male. I was born in rural deep south Alabama. It was an old house turned into a hospital and was on a hot July Saturday afternoon. I have green with blue eyes and white hair most of my childhood and I ate mud paddies or cakes when I was a kid. We raised animals on the farm and I ran barefooted most the time and loved to aggravate animals lol! Skipping to the early 1980's I end up getting HIV from being raped and I was so high on acid I couldn't say the safe word "STOP", so couple years later when I had gone into treatment for alcohol and drug abuse, I got tested for HIV and found out i was HIV+! I was kicked out onto the street by rehab and my mom wouldn't let me come home because of fear. But i had a good friend that let me stay with him for awhile until I found a place, This was the beginning of me fighting to stay alive with HIV for these over 30 years now. Now I'm a survivor of long-term HIV and it has been a rough road. So if you're sexually active don't become like me! Stay in control because losing control isn't the "PARTY" everyone says it is, so stay cool! Become a follower of my stuff and ask me questions! I will answer you to the best of my ability and I will be "STR8 UP" with you.


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