Having coached so many single women who are above the age of 30, a burning question frequently asked is: How will I know if he is the right guy to marry and if he is ready to marry me? To answer this question, I would ask them to answer the following 3 simple questions:
1. Does he take you home to meet his family?
While others may think that this is a trivial matter, it speaks a lot on whether your guy is ready to marry you. Your introduction to his family is a milestone in your relationship as your guy acknowledges you as a part of his family (to be). More importantly, when a man brings home the girl to meet his family, you know he is prepared to love her and settle down with her for the rest of their lives. Your guy’s family will also understand that this is the special girl whom he treasures and is taking their relationship seriously. Furthermore, this is a good opportunity to score points with his family members. You would want to focus your energy on the person who has the most say, as this could potentially help boost and smoothen your progress with him, towards marriage. What’s more, there’s definitely no harm in establishing good connections with the family too! This is also a good time for you to assess if this is the “kind” of family you want to marry yourself into.
2. Is he comfortable about showing you to his social circle?
In order to live with someone in the long term, your guy has to be comfortable, if not proud of showing you around. If he is not treating you like how he would treat a “trophy” girl, you are not his girl at all. You should be and feel like his most valued prized possession. Some ways to know that your guy is proud to have you as his girlfriend include the following:
- He should be excited whenever his friends mention your name.
- He should be proud to introduce you to his colleagues because it validates his great taste.
- He would gladly invite you along (as a plus one) for social or friends gatherings so that you can get to know his friends and won’t feel left out in future.
3. Has he let go of his past baggage?
Try having a conversation on his past relationships. How does he react? Does he shun your question or get angry when you try to continue the conversation? Does he still struggle with guilt or anger from the past? It is important to note that someone who has fully let go of the past will be cool to talk about it and is able to rationalize what happened. You also see that he is willing to take part, if not full responsibility of what had happened. He acknowledges the mistakes made and strives to do better in his present relationship, with you. In the midst of sharing and opening up himself to you, you understand more about his mindset and perspectives towards relationships. Ultimately, you will be able to realise that he has grown and matured over the years and is ready to lead and guide you in your relationship with him.
If you have the same question, tick off all these checkboxes now, and you will know if you both are ready to take things to the next level and to welcome a new beginning.
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