Tag: Sex Education

Reminiscences of an Ex-Dominatrix (Part II)

My first customer who ever booked me was very honest with me from the beginning (almost which we will get to in a bit) and I was very happy with that. He explained to me as he was 6 when he was raped by his cross-dressing uncle. Since then it has been branded in his brain and he only somehow gets the full enjoyment of pleasure by going through the scenario again and again (where I came into play). He wanted the women to put on a gigantic strap on in shiny bright color latex suits and while he was tied up, taking as hard as possible from behind without any mercy, stretching or loob. He was married, talked only positive about his wife and children and how much he loves them and he could never have a life without them (even showing me pictures, a very very uncommon thing to do). But the fact that this “demon” as he called it, was stuck inside and he couldn’t handle but to go for a session at least once a month just to get really off and go back to normal life. It was at that moment that I realized what all those men and women who were dominatrixes were telling me all along. This is when I got the gift of really listening. Not only what they are saying, but all the details too.

After emailing back and forth, we met up a month later in a hotel in Trier. My rule was first 15‒20 minutes of natural time, meaning to discuss the do’s and dont’s again in person (“personal limits”). How this was going to go down step-by-step exactly. I would then get dressed, have my glass of champagne to calm me for I was really really nervous. And then just like that, the show began. I wore a purple cat suit with a huge gigantic black and pink decorated strap-on which I had borrowed from a friend and proceeded to tie him up on the bed in a doggy-style position and did what he had asked for; said the things he exactly wanted to hear. And everything was going so well and smoothly and as I was thinking about this, I looked down and saw a huge bloodstain. I jumped up in total panic— because he was bleeding out of his bottom—ran to the phone and called an ambulance. He was so embarrassed and just kept on saying “I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry, I’m sorry. Don’t worry, you won’t be in trouble for anything. I’m sorry.” I couldn’t help but started crying, thinking that I was going to go to jail and ended being deported back (for hurting him). But as the people arrived, I was still in shock, sitting in my outfit with the strap-on on me and as they walked in and noticed me asking, “What happ … Oh! Okay. I see. Let me have a look …” I rushed into the bathroom embarrassed to the max, taking everything off upon hearing what they were saying. Suddenly, my client who was still outside said, “I know why it happened, I have inner hemorrhoids.” I burst out of the bathroom half naked and angry as a lion shouting, “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME !?”

As I left the hotel that night to get on a 2 hour train ride back home, I had plenty of time to think about everything that happened that night: a) i had to kinda evaluate my clients before sessions on the “why, how, what” of sexuality; digging as deep as possible into their sexuality in order to best understand their needs and wants. b) YOU WANT ANAL, GOTTA BRING A NOTE FROM THE DOC …

And hence throughout that whole year, I met men and women from different walks of life but all with the same need: the need for help with their sexuality. This ultimately led me to me joking with my friends about how my role has evolved to that of a sex therapist. I not only helped these individuals to understand their own needs better, they were also comforted (I know the whole thing is a bit ironic considering the fact that we are talking about BDSM, just bear with me), had a understanding and judgmental free zone to express themselves. They got exactly what they needed from me not in a proper and none “profit mode” manner but in a helping manner. I’m not saying everyone of my clients was raped as a child like my first ever customer back then. However, a lot of them—if you just ask about their sexual history and how everything became clear to them—the stories and way things happen is so unique in every case. Many a time, these individuals simply cannot explain why they like it but the ones who can, oh boy! they sure have a lot to tell and are truly entertaining—no need for popcorn or anything. I cannot list each and every one of them, but if only they knew …

The only problem I had with this was with my own sexuality after 9 months of doing this for my sexual appetite started to suffer. I didn’t enjoy sex and even lost all interest and lust at one point in time. Hence after a while, I had to make the decision to love my own vagina and my love for lust. However, even after quitting this, something weird happened. I never dropped my analyzing. To this day, I continue to analyze everyone I meet. Why do they act in this way, why do they handle things in that way? It is almost as I have become a hobby psychoanalyzer (funny given that I was never in school for it), but the thing is, i actually enjoy doing it and it has definitely helped me to help others with their stuff be it making right decisions or handling situations; making them stronger to take on their daily battles etc. In a sense, I learned how to help others in a proper way even though it was achieved through whipping and tying people up. However, if you are able to read between the lines and really get a deeper understanding of people, it’s quite remarkable to see how easy it is to help people without having the drama and fights.

And I honestly don’t think I would have learned this anytime soon if it wasn’t for my crazy roller-coaster life and i will never forget the people who have helped me in understanding this so much better in this world; through the conversations I had with clients and other SW’s in the BDSM industry. Each and every one of them will be forever remembered (yes, even the very first client I have had because without him, everything would have not turned out the way they did).

And so what do I do these days you ask? Well, I modeled for a long time in Germany (and throughout Europe) and when I became pregnant, I stopped and let life be put on hold for a while. I got married, moved back home to Washington State, and got back into 2 long loved passions: politics & erotica photography.420Photography has became a huge and new factor to the Creativity Closet. I do a lot of smokeography and films. I have also been modelling for Godsgirls since Spring 2014 and am blessed with all the love I receive on social media for my work, be it Instagram,Tumblr or GG. I don’t think I’ll be done working in the world of sex anytime soon (whether its occasional caming, making my erotica photoart, or even short videography clips on Youtube). I feel like I have so much more to say and do. My main mission is to change our views on not only nudity but overall sexuality. We shouldn’t be demonized for what we love for as long as what we love does not hurt others, we should be encouraged to embrace our passion.

So go out and spread sex positivity and together, lets change the world one step at a time!

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October 3, 2014
Reminiscences of an Ex-Dominatrix (Part I)

When I was younger, I had no idea what I wanted to do in life. Sometimes, I would say a family law attorney (because I grew up witnessing the horrible divorce of my parents and I wanted to help; I felt the need to do so). There was a time I would think that I would become a physiotherapist and help people with injuries to get them back on their feet, or I would imagine myself being an anthropologist and going out to explore the world of humanity and its cultures etc, or maybe help countries with political issues … you know what I mean. In case, you have noticed there is a similarity to all these aspirations: the dream to help. Why? To be honest, I have no idea and I simply feel this strong calling through my whole life to help others. But if you would have asked me about my life-long career and told me that my first steps in the adult industry would be in Germany at the age of 18 as a Dominatrix, my response would have been, “What is a Dominatrix?”

I had a rollercoaster lifestyle until I had my daughter and two years after finally figuring out what I would do or let’s say, what my heart had the most passion for. I did not end up being a full-time dominatrix for the rest of my life, but the brief period of my life in the world of BDSM has not only truly changed my view, but also the way the humans work. I was a dominatrix for about a year when I turned 18. I was living in Germany as a civilian then, attending school there and working on becoming a hairdresser. Sounds all pretty normal right? Except for the fact that I was a full blown punk (sex pistols style), politically active on the Left Wing movement and its many many protests throughout Germany, and had a deep passion for gothic electronic music dance parties while working as a part-time amateur model. Now, because I was active in the gothic scene at parties, this opened a different drawer in the creativity closet for me as many of the guests at such parties would wear tons of latex, PVC etc. It was not just any regular latex stuff you can get in your next door porn shop. No, we are talking about actual high quality dresses and suits (long before Miss Gaga and Katy Perry made it a thing in the pop industry). In addition, there would often be attendees and scenes such as older BDSM couples, women taking on the mistress role, hubby on the leach in short and very tight latex shorts, not to mention the very short shorts …

A friend of mine whose name I shall not mention but let’s just call her W. W was a model and dominatrix, and boy! she was one of a kind. So when life as usual every now and then takes a drastic turn, I quit my job as a hairdresser (due to major bullying within the company) and lost my apartment (because if there is something more horrible then standing 30 in line at a grocery store it’s dealing with government stuff in Germany like social help etc. That’s a major bitch and will take you forever. And so because of this, I ended up losing my apartment, job and a lot of my friends to move to Trier to stay with her for a while and figure out what I was going to do). Since I was making a bit of money but not enough to survive as a model, I decided that I needed a fresh start with everything. And that’s when W opened a whole new world to me.

She taught me everything I needed to know and just like that, I into the big world, moved all the way to Kaiserslautern and started anew with absolutely no physical experience. In a city that’s not only huge, but with a soccer stadium, multiple army bases and a lot of international tourism all going on all that town—I saw nothing but profit. And boy was I happy because I turned out to be the only dominatrix (even though prostitution is legal in Germany and trust me, there are more brothels out there then bakeries, and that in Germany trust me, has to say something). At night, I would work at a Table Dancer club and made a ton of money just for being American and being able to speak with all the soldiers who were looking for some fun. During the day, I would either model or offer SM sessions. As the session requests started flowing in like spam mail on MSN, I started to realize very quick how high the demand actually was. And armed with the W’s knowledge, I decided to use the internet and sign up to a very well-known BDSM community website in Germany BDSM community website. I interacted with other dominatrixes on tips and advice (don’t get me wrong; not many were willing to help a young fellow girl who was once in their shoes), but those who did seemed like the nicest people on earth. One thing every dominatrix has told me is that if you are not a lil familiar with psychology, you will have problems on becoming a successful dominatrix. I had no fuc*ing clue what they meant with this. So there I was on a Friday evening with some European spliffs, a few beers and Google (my best friend in the world) and started to dig much deeper into this whole BDSM thing. And the more I dug, the more I found out how much psychology has to do with our everyday life, especially sexually …

Stay tuned to tomorrow’s post for Mary Jane’s virgin dominatrix experience!

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October 2, 2014
Top 10 SEX TOYS: Dildos, Vibrators, and Butt Plugs, Oh My!

There are oodles and oodles of different kinds of sex toys on the market today … which ones should you try, where do you even begin? And what is a ball gag??? When you initially begin to explore the world of sex toys it can be daunting, especially if you are not quite sure what you are looking for or what you or your partner would even enjoy. In addition, accurate and useful information about toys can be hard to come by; sometimes you just have to take the manufacturer’s word for it which may not be helpful to you. This article is meant to be a general guide to (my) top ten sex toys, which as you will see is really my top seventeen-ish sex toys (I couldn’t pick just ten!). All of these toys are in no particular ranked order, although you may be able to figure out some of my preferences from the list I have generated.

Before we begin, let me be up front about this list; this is not an exhaustive list by any means and many unique toys (like toys that are supposed to simulate oral sex for instance) may not be represented, but it doesn’t mean that they are any less fun than the toys that are highlighted. In addition, these are just general names for toys, any sex toy purchasing (or creating) consumer should be mindful of the materials that are used in the toys they are using on themselves and their partner(s). Materials such as glass, wood, and some silicones are totally safe, but there are some toys made of plastics and other materials that contain parabens and it is not safe to expose yourself to these over long periods of time. Parabens are commonly used as a kind of preservative or bactericidal in hundreds of products we use every day such as cosmetics and toothpastes. However, some research has shown that they may be linked to cancer. Sometimes you can get away with toys that are made of different plastics that may have parabens in cases when they are not meant to be used internally, like paddles for example. Just being mindful and informed about what you are purchasing may prevent scary health concerns. Without further ado … the sex toy list!

1. Vibrators
There is a plethora of vibrators out there such as bullets, rabbits, and larger dildos that vibrate. The bullets are generally smaller and are primarily for external use and can be put on a variety of vibrating speeds and patterns for your pleasure. Rabbits and other dildo vibrators are often used to penetrate and there is the extra bonus of good vibrations!

2. Dildos

There are all kinds of dildos ranging from the small ones to large ones, ones with wider girths and they all are made of different materials—glass, wood, silicone, even stainless steel. Some look like animals, some are double ended and others are meant to resemble an actual penis. A good rule to keep in mind when considering if a dildo will fit in either you or your partner is the two finger rule; typically the width of your index finger and middle finger together is a good gauge to determine the width of a dildo that would fit comfortably.

3. Strap-ons

Strap-ons refer to a dildo placed in a harness that you can wear around your waist (like putting on underwear or shorts) that you can use to penetrate your partner. Again, a wide range of dildos can typically fit into a harness to make a strap-on. Male-bodied and female-bodied individuals can wear a strap-on or be penetrated by one; male-bodied individuals can use one to double penetrate their female-bodied partners.

4. Anal toys (beads and butt plugs)

Anal beads are usually a string of silicone beads that are all attached and can be used in a variety of ways. Some individuals like to put all the beads in and pull them out either quickly or slowly. Be careful with any anal toys that do not have a flanged base (butt plugs are flanged); otherwise they may become stuck in your partner’s anus if you let go of those toys, which would not be good! Butt plugs are great for that double penetration (without the thrusting) feel while giving the sensation of fullness at the same time. Other anal toys include prostate simulators that can be used on male-bodied individuals to stimulate their prostates which can lead to more intense orgasms.

5. Paddles/floggers

These toys are super fun for the masochist in your life who likes to be spanked or flogged (that person may be you!). Paddles can be made of wood, plastic, leather etc. and floggers can be made of leather or horse hair, I have even seen floggers made out of electric cables. Some people may disagree with how I put paddles and floggers together in my list, but generally paddles and floggers can hit a larger surface of the body and provide more of a “thud” upon contact which some people may prefer over a crop for example. If you have never used a paddle or flogger before, go slow and frequently check in with the person you are using the toy on to make sure they are finding it pleasurable during the first few times you use it. If they aren’t, listen to their direction about how to make it better (their direction may also be to tell you to stop using the paddle or flogger on them, which is okay too).

6. Crops/whips

Crops and whips often cause a more piercing or “sharp” pain when they come in contact with your skin when your partner uses a crop on the backs of your legs or across your butt. Similarly to floggers, crops and whips can be made out of leather materials or hides of animals like cowhide or bullhide. Again, be careful when first getting accustomed to using a whip or crop properly and check in with your partner as you explore. Some whips have long tails so make sure that you have enough room to use the whips too.

7. Handcuffs/bondage tape

Handcuffs and other forms of bondage, like rope or bondage tape (that only sticks to itself and nothing else, like your sheets or your skin) can be great fun! Handcuffs can be made of plastic or metal and other bondage materials could be rope, zip ties, neck ties or even other articles of clothing or accessories around your home. Again, make sure you and your partner are checking in with each other about if you/they still want to be tied up. Sometimes planning out or contracting about how long you/your partner will be tied up for can relieve some anxiety about being tied up. Safe words could be helpful when playing around with bondage, if you/your partner uses the decided upon safe word, it’s time to untie them.

8. (Ball) Gags

Gags are commonly made of leather of other flexible materials and there usually is some sort of buckle in the back so the gag stays tight around your face and mouth without being too tight or too loose. Gags can also be household items too, like a scarf. However, be careful that the gag you use is not suffocating your partner or severely limiting their air intake. Safe gestures, instead of safe words, may be useful when using gags, as your partner may not be able to clearly verbalize a safe word. Instead, they may hold up a fist or an open palm to alert you that they need to be checked in with.

9. Blindfolds

Blindfolds can be great for sensory deprivation to heighten arousal for your partner, so they don’t quite know where you will kiss or touch them next. Blindfolds can be something as simple as a scarf or neck tie covering your eyes or it could be a blindfold that you purchase that is perhaps made of leather or can be securely tied around your head so it does not slip off during play. Safe words can be helpful when using blindfolds so you know when to relieve your partner.

10. Cock rings

Cock rings can be used to prolong a male-bodied person’s erection during play time; they can be made out of plastic, silicone or metal. Word to the wise though, be cautious about using cock rings the first few times as some of them may be challenging to take off, depending on the materials used.

Now that you have a little bit of background information about sex toys, go out and try some of these on yourself! You can make your own sex toys using simple products at home (like tying up your partner with a neck tie or a scarf; safely and consensually of course), go to your closest sex toy shop to explore in person or purchase toys online. Once you have brought your toys home, be sure to take good care of them: wash them after each use and store them in a safe, dry area. Do be extra careful and make sure that silicone toys aren’t stored with other silicone toys or lube as these may ruin the toys and you definitely would not like that to happen. Now, go have fun!

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October 1, 2014
5 Things You Should Know About Going Down On Your Lady

Ah, the vagina. That mysterious piece of art between a woman’s legs. Few men dare to venture their faces too close, and those that do, regretfully, don’t quite know what they’re doing down there. Fortunately, I’m here to shed some light on this magical unicorn of sexual pleasure. Starting with…

1) It’s not an all you can eat buffet.

The goal here is not to plunge your face in and gobble up everything in sight. This isn’t some cheap Chinese buffet—it’s a delicate, gourmet meal. Start out slowly. Even foreplay needs a little foreplay, and everyone likes a little tease. Start out with little kisses leading the way, or just barely brush her clit with your tongue to get her warmed up. No need to dive right in; you are a respectable gentleman, not a cocker spaniel.

2) NO TEETH.

For some absurd reason, a few of the guys who I’ve had the unfortunate luck to sleep with think it feels good when they rub their teeth on my clit, or use their teeth as part of the “experience”. Now, I don’t speak for the entirety of women here, but it stands to reason that if you don’t want my teeth digging into your cock, then don’t be digging yours into my clitoris. Seriously, that shit hurts. Tongue and lips only, please!

3) Use your fingers!

We women are extremely lucky in that we have two main spots of pleasure in our genitals. One, the clitoris, which hopefully at this point you’re taking care of with your tongue and mouth. But often, a world of pleasure is ignored when you don’t use your fingers on the g-spot. Pleasure her orally for a little, get her nice and wet, and then slide two fingers inside her all the way and move your fingers up and down. It’s a win-win situation ; it’ll feel amazing for her, and you won’t end up with lockjaw ’cause she’ll come way faster.

[Side note : Please trim your nails before attempting any penetration of a vagina with your fingers.]

4) Don’t be afraid to suck.

By this, I don’t mean don’t be afraid to be awful at cunnilingus. Be very afraid of that.

What I’m talking about in this case is actually using a little sucking action on her clit.

My absolute favourite move, and one that I’ve only just recently experienced, is having the guy suck my clit into his mouth (LIPS ONLY. See #2.) and while sucking, run his tongue over and around it. Absolute perfection! Don’t be afraid to add a little suction action to your repertoire of pussy-eating skills. If your lady is anything like me, she’ll love it—and maybe return the favor. And I’m almost positive you won’t mind having a little suction action on your cock, right?

5) When in doubt, ask.

So, the time is here, you’re “headed downtown for some lunch”, your face is buried in an all you can eat pussy buffet … and you’re getting nothing. Not a moan, not a squeak. What are you doing wrong?

Well, the only sure fire way to find out is to ask. I’ve had guys go down on me who didn’t have the slightest inkling what I liked; and it’s not like they were going to read my mind to find out. Every woman is different, we all like slight variations on the traditional pussy-eating technique. So simply ask. “Do you like it when I do this?” “How do you like it baby?” Most of the time, you’ll get a very specific answer. We know what we like and for the most part, we’re not afraid to tell you. We will literally give you a map to the Kingdom of Orgasms—you just have to follow it. Easy, right?

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September 29, 2014
3 Tips to be a Sex Pro

Sex can be a very confusing but wonderful thing if you know what you are doing. Here I have compiled a list of tips to make you successful in the bedroom. These 3 simple easy steps can turn you from an average joe into a sex pro!

1. Learn the human anatomy. Males and females all have erogenous zones. These zones are places you want to touch to increase pleasure to your partner. Learning all these areas can help decrease tension and increase arousal. These zones are located all over a person’s body, some in plain sight such as the neck, and some in hidden areas like the clitoris under the clitoral hood. Foreplay is the foundation for an orgasm. Sometimes excitement makes you want to just jump right into it, but foreplay and a little bit of teasing goes a long way.

2. Communication. Knowing all these erogenous zones would be nothing without knowing how to communicate with your partner. Everyone has a preference on how they like certain things. Some people have sensitive organs and some people don’t. Some people prefer rough sex and some people prefer soft (vanilla) sex. It is all dependent on that person and without communicating, things can get lost in translation and a good time can become a not so amazing experience.

3. Experiment. You would be surprised what kind of niches/fetishes you may be into. Without experimenting, you will never know what it is like to try something new. Be open minded and have fun. Spicing things up can be a breathe of fresh air sometimes.

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September 28, 2014
Top 3 Conditions Needed for a Good Sexual Experience

Necessary conditions for a good sexual experience. Promising title, no?

Well, as things often go, you might just end up getting something else than what you were expecting, but not always for the worse.

So what are the necessary conditions for a good sexual experience? Adequate levels of sexual desire for both participants? Being really aroused & wet? Having a (partner with) a larger than average penis? Orgasm(s)? Mood and lighting? Scented candles? Or perhaps Barry White?

Taking this approach to such a general question would lead us nowhere. Why? Because there is no such thing as ‘the right way to sexually stimulate women or men’, just the right way to stimulate that particular woman or that single man. If we were to ask a 100 people what they would need to have a good sexual experience, we would wind up with a 100 personal sexual guide books. To make matters worse, each of them would almost be completely useless as a guide to a good sexual experience for any other person. At best, one could read each other’s guide as a source of inspiration. If you’re in a committed partner relationship, this might be an enlightening exercise for the both of you!

So how then can we say something useful about the necessary conditions for having a pleasant sexual experience? This is done so by taking a broad approach. In sexological literature, you will find three conditions that have to be met to be able to have a good, pleasant, or satisfying sexual experience.

1. An intact & functioning sexual system

Sex, more specifically sexual arousability, requires certain areas of your brain sending signals traveling through several nerve bundles to various parts of your body and vice versa. If one of the links in this chain of information-sharing is malfunctioning, the entire system is put under stress, sometimes even making certain aspects of sexual experiences impossible. One’s nervous system, one’s endocrine system, one’s genitalia, one’s hands, lips, tongue, and also, one’s eyes, one’s nose, ears, and skin need to be intact and functioning, at least up to a certain level.

In other words: one needs to be able to register internal and external sexual stimuli—fantasies or desires, seeing a beautiful man or woman, feeling someone lightly brush by your neck—and all internal systems and organs that play a part in the elicited sexual response need to be intact.

2. Good sexual stimuli

Ok. Let’s assume you have an intact & functioning sexual system.
So you’re at home, sitting in your comfy chair attentively waiting for your sexual system to switch on.

I hope your chair is really, really comfy …

Every system has its start-up requirements. Our sexual system is no different. It needs an input of sexual stimuli to get going and keep going. As said, these stimuli can be both internal (like thoughts or fantasies) & external (like speech, touch, scents or just seeing someone you find attractive, hot, sexy). Both can do the trick equally well. Most people have a general idea of which stimuli are the most gratifying for themselves.

For most of us happy enough to be in a partner relationship, we have the luck of having a large source of different types of stimuli at hand each day; our partner. He or she can be a source of sensual thoughts or fantasies, look really sexy dressing in the right way (or not at all) or he/she can simply light those scented candles you like so much.

For most of us, with or without partner, potential stimuli are in abundance. Potential stimuli, because, even when you’re exposed to a potentially good sexual stimulus, you still have to see it in a sexual way. One has to allow oneself to interpret a stimulus sexually and to give sexual meaning and thus sexual value to a stimulus. For instance, let’s say for the sake of argument that seeing a woman naked serves as a good stimulus: So, it’s Sunday morning, you’ve slept in, you’re relaxed with nothing on your mind, you walk into the bathroom and there she is, naked, breasts in full sight, sitting on the water closet. This could still be a stimulating situation but that entirely depends on the meaning ascribed to what is seen. Do you see her as sitting there doing her business or do you see her as sitting there, naked? The latter could jumpstart one’s sexual system whereas the former would probably do just about the opposite.

Hence, we need stimuli to get our sexual system going, but we have to see them as sexual stimuli first in order for them to have the desired effect.

3. The right context

So there you are. Stimuli in abundance. You’re really taking them up in a sexual way. You feel your sexual system warming up, creating a feeling that could develop into full blown sexual desire & arousal and …. you’re standing in the middle of a crowded town square / the baby just woke up and is wailing to be / there’s still loads of household work that need to be done/ you can’t help but think it wasn’t really good the last time.

Even when all other conditions are just right and a pleasant sexual experience is a real possibility, you still need the right context for the situation to go forward in the desired way.

When you feel your system’s started up and desire and arousal are building, the time and place have to be just right for you to be able to actually do something with those feelings. And again, not only do the time and place have to be right in a practical sense, you also have to feel that it’s a good time and place for sex. When your mind is elsewhere or occupied with non-sexual thoughts, even a potentially good context to act upon your desire could feel like it’s not really the ideal time or place for for some sexy time.

As such, what’s the use of thinking about sex in this way? Well, knowing about these three conditions: a functioning sexual system, sexual stimuli, and the right context can help you to understand why your sexual partner sometimes doesn’t feel like having sex while you’re ready to go or vice versa. In addition, understanding why you or your partner behave in a certain way can help you to deal with certain tense and tricky situations, and most importantly, prevent frustration from building up.

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September 26, 2014
Top 10 Things Men Want From Women In Bed

Ever wonder how to please your man in bed?

Here’s a list of what men really want from their women underneath the sheets:

1. Women should be more interactive, in a way sometimes be more sexually aggressive to their man.

2. No star-fishing hoes. (don’t just lay there and get fucked)

3. Roll play with your man. It gets boring when we just do the same shit over and over.

4. Change up your scenario. Go to the backyard and get a tan while cumming, or bend over that oven. Maybe try anal? Who knows, you could love it, like that ring on your finger…

5. When’s the last time you gave your man road head? Think about it…

6. Make your own porn. Drop your insecurities and make a video with your man. We’re all adults here.

7. Ever thought about having sex with another female? Well, your man would fucking love to watch or be a part of that. Try it, you might just like it. I know sharing is hard but we’re not in kindergarten anymore.

8. Take your man to a strip club. Not the one by 7/11 though. Buy your man a lap dance and see how well he treats you after that. You’d be surprised.

9. Talk dirty, and I mean dirty. Bring out that inner slut you’ve bottled deep down inside you. Experiment with your body. There comes a time in everyone woman’s life where her man wants her to release that inner beast. We’re all humans, we all have demons, and we all have sick fantasies…

10. Finally, just give your man a blowjob once in awhile … and I don’t mean once a week. That released of pent up sexual frustration and anger will do you and your man a great deal. Believe me I know …

Well, hope this helps you out somehow 🙂

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Images courtesy of Richie Black

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September 23, 2014
20 Best Songs to Have Sex to!

Hello ! I’m Annette Worth; adult film actress, disc jockey’ dancer, and a Scorpio.
There are many ways to spice up your sex life and music is definitely one of these. Putting on the correct song that fits the mood can change an intimate moment from vanilla-ish to sensual and sexy. Different situations call for different types of romp-tracks and here is a playlist of the top 20 songs for 2014 that I have picked just for you:

Romantic songs are perfect for those candlelit dinners as you indulge in those languish nights:

Wish & Fonda Rae | Touch me all night long
Donald Byrd | Love has come around
Candido | thousand finger man
Paula Cole | Feelin love

Wild tunes to build up the heat for a threesome sexy romp:

Bad Boy Bill | Everybody
Benny Banassi | Able to Love
Frankie Knuckles | I’ve had enough
Deadmaus5 | Moar Ghosts ‘n’ Stuff (part 2)

Kink it up with that leather whip and a lil smack:

Ministry | Everyday is Halloween
Revolting cocks | Da Ya Think I’m Sexy
My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult | Waiting for Mommie
Bauhaus | Bela Lugosi’s Dead.

Quickie for that darn hot chick you’ve just met in the club:

The Prodigy | Smack My Bitch Up
Aphex Twin | Windowlicker
Awolnation | Sail
Skatt Bros | Walk The Night

Make up sex when who is in the right or wrong no longer matters:

Chris Isaak | Baby Did a Bad Bad Thing
Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds | Red Right Hand
Lenord Cohen | I’m Your Man
Tricky | Overcome

Well that pretty much sums it up. So put in a lil effort and have these tracks ready the next time you have sex ! Special thanks to the Crazy Legs of Rock Steady Crew NYC! Check out his website http://crazylegsworkshop.com/ and twitter account @CrazylegsRSC.

Sheena Carector can be found on Facebook; twitter @Annetworth; LinkedIn and email annetworth@gamail.com

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September 21, 2014
What’s on your Sex Bucket List?

You’re probably familiar with the concept of a bucket list. It’s a list of things you want to do before you kick the bucket (in other words, things you want to experience before you die). A few years ago, I was watching a video of a woman riding a Sybian and immediately knew that was something I needed to try in my lifetime. That night, my sex bucket list (SBL) was born. What’s on that list isn’t as important as the liberation that comes from acknowledging my fantasies and my sexual desires, and giving myself permission to dream and explore.

So, what kinds of things might go on an SBL? Mine includes things like:

– Ride a Sybian.
– Be in an adult film with porn star James Deen.
– Attend a sex camp or a sex resort with a lover.
– Get double penetrated by a lover when he is wearing the Deuce harness by Spareparts.
– Have sex in the ocean.
– Try a full blown tantric ritual.

I may never do some of the things on my list, either because the opportunity never arises or because, when push came to shove, I wouldn’t have the courage to follow through with it. Additionally, other things aren’t particularly practical. But practicality isn’t the point. The point is to think big and bold and wild (your version of big and bold and wild— don’t compare your list to anyone else’s). The point is to use your imagination, to dare to put yourself in sex situations that are outside your normal day-to-day experience. An SBL gives you permission to embrace the erotic and delve into new spaces, safely.

Your SBL might be a way for you to document your favorite fantasies. Each time you see a porn video that you love or a sexy image of something you want to try, add that activity to your list. Another fun thing is for you and a partner to share your SBLs with each other to find new and exciting ways to ramp up your sex life. I might never make a porn with James Deen, but that doesn’t mean my lover and I can’t act one out or role play a favorite scene in front of a camera at home.

Sex isn’t about practicalities or obligations. Sex is about adult playtime, using your imagination, and finding new ways to create pleasure. Don’t put limits or restrictions on your SBL. Make it your own—anything from learning how to give a great blow job to trying anal, from hiring a Dominatrix to humiliate you to making love to someone special.

The only rule I have for SBLs is this: never shame or judge what’s on your list or what’s on someone else’s list. It takes courage to name our fantasies and sexual desires, especially if we’re diving deep and exploring stuff that’s not often considered “normal” by society. Now pull out a piece of paper or your favorite note-taking app and start fantasizing. Feeling brave? Share an item or two from your SBL in the comments below. Maybe your item will inspire someone else’s fantasy.

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September 17, 2014
How to Seduce a Man

First and foremost, seduction does not require you to take off your clothes. All women are born with the sexual prowess to put men under our irresistible spell. Seduction is an art. Some are naturally gifted and others may require a little practice; but by keeping these simple tips in mind, you will successfully be able to lure your prey.

Be Confident

Seduction is a mind game and to win, confidence is essential. Relax. Smile. Laugh. Walk into the room with a regal attitude and heads will surely follow. Show off your best feature. I love to show off my soft and toned legs by wearing heels I am comfortable in walking in. Before you go out, wear sultry lingerie under your clothes; not for anyone else, but for yourself. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that no man will be able to resist you. There is something about wearing lingerie that boosts your self-esteem and empowers you. However, when interacting with your object of desire, let your confidence be genuine and flow naturally.

Body Language is Key

Don’t slouch. Good posture is sexy. Keep your back straight and hold your head high like the queen that you are. Be as physically close to him as possible without being overwhelming. Flirt with your eyes. Sometimes, they do all the speaking for you. Make eye contact during dinner, tilt your head, bat your eyes, and put on a playful smile. A simple touch can send a strong message. A gesture I like to do is to lightly touch his knee when he makes me laugh. I know this will pleasantly surprise him.

Be Mysterious

People are subconsciously attracted to mysterious beings. Use this to your advantage to be the seductive woman that you are. Give him something to imagine. Don’t give away all your clues. Make him figure you out. Be the chase; now it’s your turn to be the object of desire. Show off your neck and collarbone, a little bit of cleavage if you want, but nothing too obvious. You want to be understatedly sexy. If you’re going to reveal a part of your body, make sure other parts are covered. You want to make him wonder what you look like underneath your clothes.

Be A Tease
Men are visual creatures. Insist on going to a bakery to get cupcakes for dessert. Proceed to use your finger to eat the frosting off the cupcake and make sure he sees you lick your lips. Not only will he find this extremely cute but sensual as well. Whisper dirty things to him in public. If you’re in bed with him, slowly climb onto the bed on all fours. Make this look as natural as possible. I love to get on top and start a hot make out sesh. Gradually work you way down, licking his neck, biting his ears, kissing his chest and torso. Place your hand on his penis and gently stroke up and down. If he insists on you giving him a blowjob, don’t. Remember, he needs to earn his prize. Dry hump him. It will drive you both insane, but you want to create a sense of urgency in him. Make him weak to his knees. Be irresistible, sexy, and confident. You are the seductress.

by Alexa Chang

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September 16, 2014