Tag: Sex Education

How to Pick Up and Satisfy A MILF

All of us ladies think about getting laid, regardless of whether or not we’re married. While most just won’t admit it, here is what works for me.

First

DO NOT appear shy or timid because I want to be fucked, and fucked well. I don’t want to have to teach a class, so show me a good time once we’re there.

Second

DO NOT be overly aggressive or a jerk and start off your conversation with who you know or what you own. MILFs are more concerned with getting laid than you knowing the president, although trust me they also do not want a guy living under a bridge either, so be casual in your discussions about what you do. A great smile and a wink does get my attention.

Third

NEVER be CHEAP. You don’t have to buy me a new Porsche 911 but if we’re at a nightclub, you better put the drinks on your tab or you’re toast. And if we’re at a nightclub, ask me for a dance as it gets me warmed up.

Four

Don’t push me for a number (I’m married remember?). Offer me your number instead or where i can find you (I will track you down if I’m interested). Ooops, this should be towards the top of this list LOL. If you’re not well dressed, forget it. Dressing casually or even a hot suit gets my attention, not a guy with his baseball hat on backwards. By all means, be well groomed and smell great. Try to hold it down (loud guy’s really turn me off) unless we’re fucking.

Fifth

Be in shape. Being in shape is not really the case with me, even though I love guys who are in shape, their personality means most and you do not have to look like Brad Pitt to get with me (but that would be nice LOL). Nonetheless, if you have expectations of the MILF you’re picking up, you ought to meet our requirements too.

After we’ve made it through the first phase and we’re heading towards the bedroom, now comes the most critical part. Your eyes. If you do not look me square in the eyes and speak, you’re toast. Again, i don’t want some guy looking all over the restaurant when he talks to me and if he does that, he has something to hide. I was a bartender and I’m better qualified than most therapists on liars and if I catch you in a fib, it’s see ya baby. Besides, I’m married and I never hide the fact that I am, so you guys better not either.

Oh you can be married but don’t give me this BS about your wife sleeping in the other room or she doesn’t understand you (boo hoo!) because I won’t buy it. We both know why we’re chatting so let’s cut the BS to a minimum … so as I leave, ask me to lunch somewhere semi-private and kiss me. Not overly passionate, but a nice kiss so i can feel your firm arms and always compliment me and that you must see me again … girls love hearing it, I know I do.

Congratulations, you’ve passed all the steps and we’ve communicated over the next few days or weeks and been to lunch a few times. So let’s now fuck but where are we going to? Obviously, we’re not going to my house and if you’re single and we get to your place and it’s a wreck, I’ll turn around and leave, guaranteed. For men who are single, clean up the place (and yes I’ll check the bathroom) and if you’re married, NO WAY are we going to your place or your buddy’s apartment. So the option left is (you want to impress me remember) a 5-star resort which will work and one with a beach (I’m in FL). And if none of those are available, it’s the Hilton Suites or equivalent (we’re not heading to the motel 6).

Once we’re there (you’ll be arriving first), have our dinner reservations taken care of and a nice bottle of wine waiting with two glasses (not cups). If it’s our first encounter, some flowers would be nice. Then it’s off for a romantic dinner and back for some HOT action and it better be good or you may have just seen the last of your MILF.

I’m old school, I love doors opened for me, flowers, cards, and hot hot sex.

Image courtesy of Sally D’Angelo
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November 7, 2014
Anal Sex … how to make your partner try it again with you

I’m finding these days that the average person is often terrified, shy or uncomfortable when it comes to talking about sex. At lot of women I’ve encountered over the years will still blush at even a mere mention of a sex joke. Considering society’s sexual saturation of magazines, commercials, movies and TV, one would think people wouldn’t be so uptight or shy about the subject of sex. What I find even more shocking is that people these days are forgetting even the fundamentals of what sex is really about: love and the exploration of pleasing your partner’s needs. Society’s great double standard on sex is: we sexualize people everywhere but we don’t talk about sex. Actually, let’s talk about it, and let’s talk about one of the most taboo subjects during intercourse with your partner, one that most people do not want to talk about: Anal Sex.

Anal sex is probably one of the most controversial subjects I have encountered. The general consensus is twofold: either people are all about it and love the experience, or, they hated it and think it’s gross or won’t even try it because they’ve heard from other people about their bad experiences. However, I think most people’s negative perceptions of it are general unfounded. It comes down to a lack of knowledge and understanding about this subject, something that ends up shying people away from something that they could really enjoy if it were approached in a way that helped them have a positive experience instead of a negative one. I was actually one of those people who originally hated even the idea of it because I had a bad experience in my younger years with a bad partner who had no experience or knowledge on how to do it right. I’ve always considered myself a sexual person and generally felt like I had a pretty good knowledge of the human body. However, when I entered the adult entertainment industry, I realized how little I really knew about the human body and sexual arousal. I knew enough that the average person considered me a rockstar in bed, but when everyone you work with in the business is a rockstar in bed, you have to learn how to play all the instruments in the band and make music together with your partner as well. I’ve learned all sorts of things about myself, my body and just the way things need to go in order to have a good time on many different levels. I also consider myself a changed woman because of what I have learned from the adult business and most importantly, about anal sex.

People have to realize that if they are interested in having anal sex with their partner, they shouldn’t be afraid to ask. However, you need to do your research about it in order to learn and understand how anal sex needs to be done in order for both parties to enjoy themselves. Everyone’s anus is shaped differently, just like every woman has a differently shaped vagina. Just like a vagina, an anus can be easier to penetrate (or not) depending on several factors. One, has your partner ever had anal before? Two, how aroused are they? Three, how relaxed is their partner making them feel about the whole experience. If they haven’t done it before they probably are going to be a lot tighter even when fully aroused because their anus hasn’t been stretched out and they may not be relaxed. Yes, rule number one; you have to do a little stretching of the anus, especially if they are on the smaller or tighter side. Therefore, you can’t just stick it in and expect your partner to be all for it. There is a process you need to do with your partner before you even attempt to start sticking it in there.

The first step is you have to make sure your partner is aroused. Spend the extra time doing foreplay and/or having traditional sex. The second step is, pick the right starting position. If you (or your partner) haven’t had anal sex before, a great position to try starting out with is Doggie. I find this position to be a great starting position because it straightens the colon out so penetration can occur without any weird angles. Be sure to put some lube on your finger and gently slide it in your partner’s anus. It’s even better for a woman when you are engaged in vaginal sex and foreplay while performing the insertion of a finger into her anus. I find that this is actually a great way to enhance the initial experience in a very arousing way that’s not painful, especially for first timers. If your partner is enjoying themselves with just a finger, then I recommend you both go to a sex shop together and buy a few different size butt plugs. I also I recommend the biggest one you buy is the girth of your partners penis. I personally like glass toys, they usually are a little more expensive but these are smoother and don’t stick or grab any skin during the slow insertion process … I know you were probably hoping I was going say a finger should do the trick! Sometimes it does, but you have to assume that your partner’s anus is small and you both need to explore that together. It’s always better to take anal sex slowly and safely, and communicate well because if you end up hurting your partner, you will lose all the trust they had in you and they will probably not be open to the idea of having it again. Sex is about trust and the exploration of love and sexuality. We always need to take our partners into consideration. That means we should always make sure they are comfortable and do our best to avoid any unnecessary pain.

Once you both find a few butt plug sizes you like, go back to step one: Lots of foreplay and vaginal sex, with gentle and lubricated anal fingering. After your partner is fully aroused try step two: Doggie position, this time with your butt plug. Apply lots of lube onto the butt plug and don’t forget on and inside your partner’s anus as well. Put some lube on your finger and use the fingering to help lubricate the inside of the anal cavity. You can never have to much lube, my favorite lube are “Eros” and “Pjur”, both are silicone based lubricants. I find that silicone based lube lasts the longest and doesn’t dry up at all during intercourse. Lube is very important for anal, unlike the vagina that makes natural lubrication the anus doesn’t not produce any natural lubricant at all. While you are still in the Doggie position, having tradition sex, slowly insert the smallest butt plug you bought. Make sure you are listening to your partner’s body language and their verbal feedback. Communication is very important, the idea is to make sure every time you are having sex or anal sex that the experience is a good one. Leave it in the entire time you are having sex, so your partner gets used to the feeling and the idea of having something inside their anus while they are having sex and having orgasms! If your partner is enjoying themselves or the butt plug falls out (which is a good sign they are relaxed) you can try the next size up in butt plugs you bought. Guys! This doesn’t have to happen all in one night. Sometimes this takes time and the more orgasms you give her while she has a butt plug in, the more she’ll be interested in trying more with you! Spend some time moving up in sizes with your butt plugs until you’ve reached the point where you are using the largest butt plug comfortably. Once the largest butt plug doesn’t brother your partner at all, you and your partner are finally ready to try anal sex.

Of course, repeat steps one, two, and then actual anal sex. I recommend that you still the use the largest butt plug because you need it to help your partner (or yourself, if you are the woman) relax. Anal sex isn’t just about stretching your anus. While that is part of the training, you also need to learn to relax and enjoy the feeling of the penetration. The last step to achieving the goal of being able to have anal sex with your partner is for your partner to lay flat on her stomach and perhaps try putting a small pillow under your hips if it makes the penetration angle more comfortable. Pull the butt plug out slowly then lube the penis and slowly insert the penis in. Guys! You must go slowly; the penis will probably be going in a little deeper than the butt plug you have been using. Kissing your partner’s neck, holding their hands, or rubbing their back to distract them is a good idea. I also recommend using a vibrator on your clit as a great distraction during initial penetration. Once you are full inserted, take it slow and again make sure your partner is having a good time. Remember, your partner is trusting you to not hurt them in any away, so even if the first time is just you just being fully inserted, and both of you enjoying the feeling together, that’s okay. Guys remember, if your partner isn’t enjoying herself, chances are you won’t get to do it again, so focus on her pleasure. If she has an orgasm that’s great, you will both be ready to move forward, if not go back a few steps and work on vaginal intercourse with a butt plug until she does. It might be a little uncomfortable the first couple times, but like anything you do, she will get used to it after you’ve done it a few times. Remember: if you as the partner messes this up, there really is no going back and your partner might or might not let you do it again, and it might take them a while to recover and trust you enough to try it with you again.

After you’ve become an adventurous anal sexpert, you will be more apt to explore the other kinds of awesome things you get to do in your sex life. You won’t be limited to just tradition sex anymore. One of the things that can help make your woman feel more comfortable with the whole act of anal sex is being clean. You should buy an enema bag and clean your colon, the best way to do that is to use warm water, and rinse with your enema until the water that comes out of your anus is super clean. This is an absolute must if you want to try one of my personal favorite things to do: something I like to call “Double Dipping”. This is inserting the penis the anus, and then switching to the vagina. I have found personally that this is one of the most intense orgasmic experiences I’ve had: first having an anal orgasm, followed immediately by a vaginal one. Another of my personal favorites is using toys to be “Double Penetrated” that is having something in my vagina and my anus at the same time. I recommend you try these, because they are amazing and fun, but remember, if you do, always remember to clean especially well before hand, and then afterwards as well. That means douching after “Double Dipping” girls. You don’t want to get a yeast infection just because you didn’t rinse afterwards. Think of it as having a shower both inside and out after sex, and if you have the feeling that you aren’t super clean while you are in mid sex, don’t do it, wait until next time.

At the end of day, it’s up to you and your partner to decide what levels of anal play and sex you want to go to but anal sex isn’t something you can just jump into, (for most people that is). Anal sex is supposed to be fun but you will find that it is also very intimate, because of the time and steps you need to prepare, but mostly because of the level of trust and communication you will both have to make sure that both partners are enjoying it to the fullest. Don’t be shy or uncomfortable to talk about your sexual desires or needs. We are all human, we all have needs and sex certainly shouldn’t be one of those things as a society we should be so uptight about that we can’t talk to our partners about our wants, desires and needs. So, with that said, communicate with your partner, explore your desires, go slow, be patient, be safe and have fun!

Happy Orgasms!

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November 6, 2014
A Lasting Impression

I wanted to add something to the Core Erotic Theme (CET)/our children developing ideas around sex and sexuality while they are young topic.

A male friend of mine and I were having a discussion about porn and erotic literature. We just recently uncovered that something he used to do as a tween has had a profound impact on his adult sex life! WOW. Imagine that. (said sarcastically. For those of you who are new to reading my blog and haven’t heard me rant about “talking to your kids early and often”, this is my mantra).

The back-story here is when he was 12 he began to read Penthouse Forum magazines (he won’t reveal his source or exactly how he came in possession of the “literature”). He would scan the articles and select one based on topic and length. (Size queen? Jk). He said articles that were too short weren’t worth unzipping his fly. When he found one that was appealing, he would commence… do I really need to spell it out here?? 😉

This friend was particularly aroused by the stories in Forum that contained what we are lovingly referring to as “the change up” – a typical non-sexual situation turning into something sexual. You know, those instances where the housewife greets the pizza delivery boy and seduces him, or the handy man replacing a light bulb has his pants pulled down around his ankles while he is on the ladder. Those fantasies from his youth were arousing to him then and, until recently, he didn’t realize the lasting impact this had on his sex life. Yet he packed it away into the recesses of his mind and started unpacking because of our open discussions about turn-ons and our basic Core Erotic Themes. So now he understands why, as an adult, he still enjoys fantasizing about the neighbor’s wife, being fondled while doing household chores, and for some inexplicable reason gets aroused whenever someone delivers a pizza.

For parents of tweens: Make sure you are communicating with your children about what they know or are experiencing. Do not assume your children are not exploring their own bodies. Here’s some news for you… the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine 2010 reports by age 14-15, 67.5% of boys had already masturbated in their lifetime, not to mention that 13% of them had already received oral sex from a female in their 14-15 year “lifetime”. Correspondingly, for 14-15 year old girls, 43.3% had masturbated and 10.1% had received oral sex from a male in their lifetime. What is not clear to me from the data is if the girls had masturbated to orgasm, or if they know what female orgasm is?

The stuff your kids are doing and seeing NOW is having a lasting impact on their budding sexuality. If you suppress it, repress it, or otherwise make sex shameful, it may have an adverse effect on how they express themselves sexually as adults. If you talk about fantasy etc. now, they are more likely to have a healthier, sex-positive attitude when they are adults.

I understand: this is tough stuff! As a mother, I get nervous thinking of my own daughters engaging in sexual behavior at what seems to be a young age. I want to make sure I keep their little life rafts moored to the mother ship so they always know they can come to me with questions and that I’ll do my best to answer them. It’s ok to acknowledge your discomfort. It’s ok to say you don’t know the answer but offer to research it together. But please do NOT lie or make shit up. It only pushes your children away from you. If you lie to them and they find out the “real” answer, you will have proven to them that you don’t know what you are talking about. Our kids already think they know-it-all, let them at least know the truth.

For you parents, I want you to remember your own youth. Remember how awkward and uncomfortable it was with all of those hormones and breast buds and first periods or cracking voices and facial hair and growing pains. Did you go through all that alone? Wouldn’t it have been better if a loving, caring adult in your life talked to you about it? Ok, of course lots of you are going to cringe at the thought of your own uncool parent discussing sex but are you so uncool yourself? I know plenty of adults who would rather have someone else have these conversations with their children for them but, really?? Don’t YOU want to stay informed and involved?

This article has been republished with permission from Lanae St.John.
Please visit Lanae St.John’s website to view the original post and more of Lanae’s works.

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November 4, 2014
Sexual Expectations: Those Magic Numbers

Countless times I have heard my male friends, followed by columns and articles stating about men wrestling with the illusion that there is some “magic member number”. I suppose women have had some concerns as well, since the American Society of Plastic Surgeons advised in 2013, breast augmentations, also known as breast implant plastic surgery was at an increase. The year’s statistics totaled an all year high overall of 313,327 for breast enhancements for the 2013 year. This is a 37% increase over the last 10 years. However, it wasn’t the most wanted surgery, believe it or not. Liposuction was at the top of the list, according to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery (ASAPS), there was a 16% increase, and over one billion dollars spent nationwide for liposuction. Since we are looking at the numbers, let me go ahead and make the distinction that women, forgoing liposuction first, for breast augmentation, still spent over 10.3 million, which according to the ASPS, was 90.6% of the total expenditure. On the other side of the coin, men spent more than 1 million for the most wanted procedure of liposuction, and the wants and needs of both sexes are expected to continue to rise in the 2014 year as well. It seems there is something to the “number” after all. It seems that it is not just women who are struggling with vanity, but men as well. Men are also struggling with the concept of insecurity in size. However, it does seem to be effecting masculinity in a slightly different way as men are not quite ready to opt for penile implants just yet. So there is some truth to the magic number theory; it does effect both sexes, just not to the extremes.

There also is another “in common factor” that may keep men from finding out that is there is no “magic number”. In actual fact, there is no “one” number for each situation. The statistics show that approximately 41,464 women had their augmentations removed for aesthetic reasons. Therefore, what women considered the wrong number, changed at a heavy cost to their personal and financial wellbeing, to a more “right” number. Yet after what would be, I suppose, a reasonable amount of time, the right number was deemed the wrong number once again. Therefore, the search began once more, and so does the augmentation process. There are no statistics on the aesthetics of penile implant reversal as of yet, but I am sure we will see some at one point or another. It just seems there has to be an easier way. As a matter of fact, there is. Depending on the exercise, there is something both men and women can do to contribute to “sizing up” the situation on what your partner needs. These are what you focus on, not what is the “magic” number? I understand when you are in the gym, you may have to vary your routine, as you have to make use of your time and the available equipment. As with either of these activities, the main focus should be on enjoyment, not equipment.

It’s understandable how this could be worrisome to both sexes. Women want more, men want more but yet what they want are really two different things. However, both can achieve what they want by committing themselves to the same exercise. Yes ladies, it’s the kegels; but kegels aren’t just for you, they are for your partner too. For the ladies, the pelvic floor makes those muscles strong, offering a well-positioned vault. For men, the stronger the pelvic floor muscles, the longer and the harder the erection. The penis receives better blood flow, providing a better angle, preventing any possibility of premature ejaculation. As a matter of fact, a man with rehearsed kegels can attain multiple orgasms. Therefore, if you are worried you may not have what it takes, not to worry. Not only will you have what it takes, you will have it, have it stronger, and for a longer period of time—multiple times. So, find yourself a comfortable pace; about three times a day. Practice your kegels and you will not have to be concerned about any performance issues. The only thing you will need to worry about is making sure your partner can keep up. Any number worries you may have had can go by the way-side, unless it’s the counting of sheep through the night.

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November 1, 2014
Handicapable People Have Sex Too!

This is a ridiculous statement to make. I am embarrassed to make it but I have to, why? Because the mainstream believes that ‘disabled’ people are either asexual or invisible and invisible people don’t have sex. They can’t you see—they’re invisible.

Before we launch together into discussing this and putting some myths at bay, please let me tell you that I do not like the word ‘Disabled’ which is why I invert it and which is why I will, after one more mention, refer to you as Handicapable. As a wordsmith and former psychotherapist, I believe that words have power. I also believe that this power goes far deeper than we could ever imagine and as such I believe that this power can able us … or, yes you’ve guessed it ‘Dis-able’ us. Can you see where I’m coming from?

It is not my intention to offend you or disrespect your right to be visible. I know, as someone of an alternative sexuality and as someone who works in a profession marginalised by society that having a label can indeed help in this process of becoming noticed. However, I am a wordsmith and I must stay faithful to my belief. I do hope you understand.

Switch on your TV, flick through the pages of any magazine, look at billboards in Times Square/Covent Garden and you will see exactly the same thing: white, able bodied, heterosexual, young, beautiful toned models selling anything from Vodka to Tampons.

It’s all a crock of #enteryourcursehere#.

It’s time we wise up and open up to the reality of life. It is the moment we have all been waiting for, that time in our lives, that point in evolution when the ‘last monkey’ wakes up and smells the revolution.

If you have no idea what I am talking about—brilliant. This will motivate your curiosity to do some research and pop some search terms into an internet search engine. If you do know what I am talking about you might be as weary as me. What happens to you when you become weary? How do you feel right now? Do you feel included? Or excluded? Is there anything we can do together to make things just a little better for each other?

Engage with me. I’m sure that we can come up with something: together.

My Mum was a wheelchair user and I remember being just ten years old pushing her around town, going to the shops etc. I lost count of the number of times the stupid sales assistants would ask me: ‘What does she want?’ ‘Would she like the crumbed or honey roast ham?’ etc. My response would always be: ‘Well why don’t you ask her!?’ Infuriating.

Now, something you don’t really wanna know about your parents and certainly something I didn’t want to know about mine but we are on SimplySxy so I do have to sex this up: my Mum loved sex. She had a wide selection of dildos, strap-ons and vibrators stuffed in her wardrobe (and they all fell out one day, onto my poor sixteen year old head, I was scarlet with embarrassment). When Mum met her third husband, the poor man was almost worn out with her insatiable sexual appetite. She, quite inappropriately one day, blurted out to me: ‘I’ve given him thrush! It’s them antibiotics I took! His knob is red raw!’ Now let me just tell you something in case you are worrying about this slightly unhealthy disclosure (although fucking hilarious) my dear Mum now departed was a drinker, she very much enjoyed a drink of whisky and so sometimes she was somewhat shall we say, non-conventional in her parenting. However, she was fucking brilliant and I wouldn’t change a thing. The point I am making is this: Mum was human. Human beings have sex, get over it.

Are you Handicapable? What are you capable of in the bedroom and is there anything I can do to help you?

Let’s all get together—Handicapable, wheelchair users, non wheelchair users, straight, bi, gay, trans—whatever. I’m tired of all this segregation crap.

Let’s all make love. Together. Now.

Big HUG!
Matt xXx

PS: Stay tuned over the coming weeks, stick to me like glue: I’ve got something to tell you.

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October 27, 2014
Top 5 Favourite Fetishes

5. Wedgies! Yes, I said wedgies. I usually do these clips with another girl and we set up different scenarios where we would give each other a good old fashioned wedgie. We’ll buy big, oversized, granny panties so we can stretch them to the max and wedgie each other as high and hard as we can. The atomic wedgie is probably the most requested: that’s where we’ll actually pull the underwear from the back and pull it completely over our faces. Wedgies aren’t just for the playground in middle school anymore! My favorite wedgie clip was with myself and Briella Jaden, we were sisters and fighting over a two timing boyfriend, whoever gave the best wedgie got to keep the boyfriend.

4. Foot Worship! Feet are a huge fetish in the community and they can really go a long way anyway. It can be something super simple like nice manicured toes and spreading them or sucking them yourself to shoving your feet into someone else’s face or mouth to talking about how stinky and dirty your feet are. I like my feet so I have no problem putting them in my mouth, but it gets a little different when you have someone else’s foot coming at your face. I shot a cool foot fetish/bondage clip with a few girls. I was an office bitch and they kidnapped me, hog tied me and made me smell and suck their feet/toes. I got double timed on that one.

3. Tickling! This one is a barrel of laughs. Tons of different avenues with tickling and you can combine other fetishes into it, like feet for example. Lots of props can be used with this fetish too, such as feathers, hairbrushes, prickly rollers, hands obviously. The bigger the belly laugh when you’re being tickled, the better! I shot a short film of foot tickling with Terra Mizu where we had to tickle each other to get intelligence about the other’s dark companies and who really was the enemy. Check out Legends of the Dark Plume! www.FTKLTickling.com

2. Wrestling! Wrestling and boxing are a really sought after fetish and one of my top favorites to do. It’s a real, hardcore workout, the moves and holds are real and intense. I’ve wrestled with guys and girls before and it’s no joke. Head locks and scissor holds are probably the most popular! The last wrestling clip that I did was with two other girls and we tag teamed each other until we tapped. I had one of the girls in a standing scissor and she just shot right up with me on her shoulders … I thought for sure that I was going down but it was more of a blooper reel catch than anything else.

1. My all time favorite fetish is bondage!! Hands down the best thing I do. I love being tied up and restrained. There is an element of danger to it that really gets your adrenaline going, but there is technique to tying someone up. Your hands and feet get tingly and numb and you actually get ligature marks where the ties were. It’s almost taboo, because when I leave a shoot if I go somewhere afterwards with marks on me and I always wonder if people see and are curious about where these marks came from. I take this one over into my personal life as well so it holds a special place in my heart. I’ve been tied in every position you can imagine and with all sorts or different appliances: rope, cable wire, electrical cords, chains, zip ties (those hurt like hell) … I was accidentally stabbed in the shoulder during a zip tie clip, it was a complete accident obviously but I was faced down, hog tied and gagged and the girl I was working with clipped the end of the zip tie by my shoulder and it was so sharp that it cut me and I was bleeding everywhere but couldn’t say anything til after we were done filming because I was gagged. We still joke about it with each other.

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October 20, 2014
How to have a Threesome
So you have decided to fulfil that fantasy and have your first threesome but where do you start? Well, finding a possible playmate to join you in the bedroom is the next step, but as a couple you have to decide on the method that suits the both of you in order to achieve it. Whether you hire a professional like myself who specialises in couples, join an online adult site, attend a swingers event, or even a meet and greet; just keep in mind that some methods of meeting someone can be long and drawn out, therefore can be frustrating before you eventually cross a threesome off your list.

If your fantasy is to have a guy join you and you partner, this may be easier to achieve than finding a single female to join in the fun. Single females in the swinging scene are a commodity and the rarity of these women means they can be picky about who they spend their playtime with. In any case, if it’s a guy or a girl you want to invite into your bedroom, then it’s very important to find someone that you click with, who you can feel comfortable with and also are sexually attracted too. Organising a private play date will be harder to arrange as you will need to meet lots of possible play friends before you find the possible candidate. Attending a swingers club, depending on the day, would be the quickest way to have a threesome, but it also depends on whether you are comfortable in the exhibitionist & voyeur environment of the swinging scene. There could be many possible playmates in the one place and this could be a much simpler option, but most of the time you will probably not develop any friendships outside the evening and the lack of possible future play dates will mean you have to start at square one for your second experience.
1. Discuss the expectations each of you have about the night. While I always suggest going in with no expectations and going with the flow, there is always at least one person who gets disappointed because things “didn’t turn out”, which suggests they had a way they expected or hoped for it to go and they obviously didn’t communicate them. Communication and understanding what each other wants for this experience will ensure everyone is happy at the end. So get all potential expectations and hopes out on the table before the big event so you know what you are both expecting from each other as well as the third person, that way you can both lead the night in the same direction.
2. Decide how the third person fits in, also known as the play rules or boundaries. Is the third person purely for one of you or do you want their attention to be on both? And if you want it on both, is it ok for their attention to be on just one for a little while? As that sometimes happens. Also, are there any actions you aren’t comfortable with the third taking or being involved in? If it’s your first threesome experience, you might prefer it to be play only and no actual sex, or perhaps it just for a bisexual exploration so the sex with the third is only with the same sex partner. Once you work out how you want your third to participate, let them know your play rules or boundaries otherwise they will just go with the flow and may inadvertently try something one of you isn’t comfortable with.
3. Have a safe word which everyone knows when you need a few moments or to discuss something before going further, you know, a “time out”. With it being your first threesome experience there is one thing you can’t really plan for and that’s how you will actually cope emotionally when it’s all happening. To create an extra sense of security (which is the best feeling to go into this with), agree to have this, so emotions don’t impact their enjoyment of the night.
4. Decide how you are going to end the night. If you are at a club, well that’s easy. It simply ends when the event ends but for a private event that you may host at your place or hotel, you will need to decide how the event will wrap up. Are they sleeping over or would you prefer that they hit the road? Have you got a separate bed for them or are they sleeping with you guys? Let them know the options so they can decide what they are comfortable with. Also, for the sleeping over option, would be good if too much alcohol is consumed. Though I don’t recommend drinking too much before a threesome, as it effects judgement.
5. Remember this is your first time and just like when you had sex for the first time or had your first serious relationship, you didn’t get those 100% right either. To minimise potential issues, stick to what you both agreed to for the night in terms of your boundaries but know that you can’t plan for every scenario so if you haven’t discussed something, assume it’s a “not ok” and discuss it in the debrief. After the event, discuss how it made you feel, what you liked, what you didn’t, etc. And to be honest, the basis of a solid relationship and especially with couples that swing is honest communication.
6. Clear communication is the key to success in this and you can’t do enough of it; between yourselves and with your playmate/s so you are all on the same page. I hope this gives you an outline to start planning and making it awesome. If you would like me to help make your fantasy a reality, then contact me. I have lots of information on my couples page and I would love to meet you both. If you are single and want to experience your first threesome, I can arrange this for you too as I have lots of sexy girlfriends available for invite and play; do check out the information on my playmates page. If you would like to attend a swingers event with me, check out the information on my swingers page.
7. Good luck and above all have fun, remember SEX is to be enjoined and in the moment.
Kellie xx

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October 15, 2014
Sex is Supposed to be Fun; Isn’t It?

I am stating the obvious when I say that sex is all about having a giggle and enjoying each other. Aint’t I? Apparently not.

I was chatting to a guy on GROWLr (GRINDr for Bears—a sub-culture within gay culture— or what I prefer to call ‘GRINDr for nice people’. I find GRINDr and most of the other gay sites/apps cruel and excluding but that is a whole other article … ) and we got onto the subject of sex, of course and I flew into a friendly rant on sexual energy and what exactly happens to that heat you feel in the base of your spine and perineum (between your genitals and ass/arse) when you have sex. The guy who I was chatting to told me that he often gets the giggles ‘post-orgasm’ and I explained that this was the sexual energy shooting up from the root chakra (that heat spot I mentioned. Can you feel it now? I thought you might) and out through his heart in the middle of his chest—the heart chakra—and this quite simply makes us giggle and/or cry. It is more common for women to burst into tears during or post-climax for this reason and yes, not that I wish to stereotype but it is often the case that women are more in touch with their emotions and thus cry more easily and that sexual energy (which is associated with our emotions) has more of a free rein causing all sorts of pleasant and sometimes unpleasant responses and reactions.

So… the guy who I was chatting to then told me that he felt ‘less silly’ because I had explained it and also confessed to thinking that sex should be ‘a giggle’ and ‘about having fun’. Don’t we all think this? Don’t you realise that you really aren’t supposed to be taking this too seriously and did you know that even if you and/or your Mrs/Mr burst into tears during sex you can still enjoy it?

Allow me to give you an example … you knew this was cumming, didn’t you? And you also knew that I was going to deliberately misspell coming because, well, I just cannot resist the naughtiness …

Once upon a kink session with an ex boyfriend of mine, I was kneeling upon the four poster bed in a classy Gay Bed and Breakfast in Blackpool. My hands were tied behind my back and I was pleasuring my beloved by tonguing his balls and doing whatever he demanded of me (within the boundaries we had previously negotiated—this is how to do kink safely and with complete trust. We also used the ‘Traffic Light’ code but we’ll go into that another time…) when I suddenly became very still because ‘something’ happened. I cannot describe fully the ‘something’ other than invert the words because it was, well, almost mystical. I went from ‘Yes Sir, thank you Sir’ mode to being completely silent and from licking his manhood to absolute stillness.

He sensed something.
We both felt ‘something’.
Everything stopped.

I’ll call my ex Richard, Richard ceased his orders of ‘Do you know how honoured you are to worship me boy?’ and other such ‘insults’ to being as silent as me. He gently untied my hands and just lay there and I maintained my position, on my knees, curled up with my face in his crotch just allowing this ‘something’ to do its thing.

Then I burst into tears.
I sobbed from an old place and felt like a child again.
It was delightful.

I clambered from my place between his legs and rested upon his chest. He held me, stroked me and kissed my forehead.

“Feel better?” Richard asked, as my tears fell away and I became giggly.

“Much. Thank you. You’re amazing” I beamed with love into his moist eyes, we de-kinked (removed my leather straps, collar, jock and boots) and spooned for the remainder of the evening.

We did not discuss the tears. We didn’t need to. We giggled, tickled, nestled and warmed ourselves in the knowledge that the sex session had been fun, emotional and what it needed to be.

Here’s to your intimate adventures … you never know what might happen.

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October 13, 2014
3 Fantasies Men Secretly Crave

Let me start off by saying. To each his own. Most of us wake up in the morning to brush our teeth, grab an apple on our way out our condo, only to sit in traffic listening to dry humor on the radio as the rain pours over our newly washed car. The car has a rather annoying ticking noise that you can no longer notice. You think of what you laid out for dinner, your mortgage, your insurance. Or do you? Walking up three flights of stairs in your soggy, wet loafers you close your eyes. You feel her pull your wet pants off. you drop your laptop and open your eyes. There she is again. This figment of your imagination. or is she real? She always makes you feel wanted, she pleases you constantly, she never lets you down. You would leave your entire life just to be with her. You would do anything. So why don’t you?

She is just a fantasy. You would never actually leave your job, your home, your wife. Or would you? After a few years of role playing for people (men and woman alike) on camera, I realized I was continuously hired to play three specific roles for them.

One being the sexually charged home wrecker. Your wife’s hot friend, or the ex you wished you never left. The ultimate sexpot you would never leave your husband in a room alone with. I’m not sure why I am so good at it. It is highly entertaining and makes for a fun and harmless time. She prances around talking about how handsome you are, how she has thoughts of you. until you explode. You can’t take it anymore, all your morals go out the window. You want her bad. So you do it. Although every time you tell yourself it’s the last time, it never is.

Two, being a brat. That’s right, a brat. The one girl in your life you would do anything for. She never does anything for you except being ann arm candy. But for some reason, you just cant get enough of her teasing your belly fat. She is highly submissive but her bratty streak has you aching for her tease and denial. After all, you’re much older than her and it would be too long before you find another sexy, young girlfriend. It’s kind of a more innocent approach to being a dominatrix. A much more playful, less intimidating role perhaps. A cute little brat pushes all the right buttons. Especially the ones at your ATM machine visits.

Last, but not least the findom. She doesn’t need your money whatsoever, but you find yourself eating top ramen just to feed her shopping addiction. To see her face light up at the sight of your cash is what you live for. You literally have maxed out every credit card and are applying for even more. You love to pamper this gluttonous greedy goddess. Lavish gifts, vacations, and chocolates. Pampering pedicures. You even bought her a house. The more money you send her, the more she ignores you.

Everyone has their own fetish and desires. I think they not only need to be fed, but also embraced. I make videos for men and women of all ages and never scoff at an idea or request for a custom video. I know the world has so many doors yet to be open. I treat every person like they are my own fiery star; full of ideas and passion. I think I was born to be a people pleaser and that’s just exactly why I am here.

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October 11, 2014
The Misconception of Swinging
Some might ask, “What’s all the hype about swingers and living this particular lifestyle?” It has been a hot topic for decades, yet people shy away from the subject when they hear these words muttered, but why? For many, understanding the real meaning and true concept of this inner action amongst consenting adults is a lot to wrap their hands around. Allow me to give you my take on the topic; Swinging is basically a turnout of people looking for something engaging where there are no rules and seduction is a succulent utopia. Yet it certainly has been misconstrued by many. Why do couples swing? Maybe their relationships have become dull, boring or uninteresting? Maybe they’re looking for a way to spruce up their sex life and kick it up a notch?

There are people who do not really know the true meaning of swingers and or swinging couples, thus they don’t really understand the lifestyle and what it entails. They’ve been called philanderers, sexually stimulated by others wanting to engage at revelry. Some might suggest it to be a fetish of dominating adults where they lay around in sexy lingerie or in the nude waiting to get laid. Some call it an adult orgy, a one night fling amongst adults, a wild night of merrymaking. There is an array of words that one could use to describe it; nonetheless a fool’s paradise would be the best way for me to narrate this matter in hand. Let me first state what swinging is NOT … Swinging isn’t getting playful with one’s partner and having immediate sex. It all starts by building an atmosphere of affection.

Is this something for everyone? No, but for those who participate in this lifestyle, it is as common for them as it would be for an ordinary couple to have date nights together. For some, swinging is as routine as it would be to go out to dinner every week. In the 1960s, swinging was something big in the hippie era and it is something that has been going on for years and years where people are pleasured by the thoughts of meeting someone new where they can release their inner desires and deepest fantasies. Who goes to swing clubs? Bisexuals, heterosexuals, gays and lesbians.

You can participate with a partner(s) or you can watch and live it up in your own world of lust. Swingers can be single adult men or women or couples who are looking to meet new people and endure some delicious fun that can be both intoxicating and provocative. Those who don’t understand it call it perverted, while swingers simply call it getting kinky.

If this is new for you and you’re thinking of taking a swing at it, being prepared is key if you don’t want your first time at a sex club to be your last. You’re never under any obligation to participate at a swing club, no apologies or excuses are ever necessary. If someone you’re not into approaches you, a polite “No, thank you” will get the message across. If that sounds harsh, explain that it’s your first time and you’re just there to watch. Something to take serious note here is that every club is different, but at most you can expect to find a buffet, a bar, porn playing on a TV, couches, and a few playrooms in most all of these clubs that you go to. The playrooms are usually where the foreplay/action happens, though you’re likely to see couples fooling around all over the club. There are also some clubs that have a naked rule for the playrooms even if you’re not participating, so my advice would be NOT to be the fully clothed creepy one eyeballing everyone who is not clothed. That’s gawky for sure!

What can you expect? What are the rules and terms to know if you’ve never been in a swing club?
- Be Friendly … Know the fundamental etiquette of swinger clubs. There is really no need to get assertive as soon as you walk in, so don’t strip down to your skivvies and start going at it as soon as you walk in the door.
- Be SAFE! I’m saying to practice safe sex. Keep your junk in your trunk until something is agreed upon. Don’t just assume anything. Guys, please … bring the condoms!
- Whatever you do, DON’T give off any sort of mixed signals. If you’re asked to join someone or a couple and you are not interested, a simple “No, thank you” is best. Beating around the bush with a “maybe later” will only keep that annoying person around you for hours stalking you like his/her prey.
- KNOW THE RULES! No touching unless you’ve been asked to join in. Always keep an open mind. Be respectful of others. Most swing clubs have a buffet where it’s much easier to meet and greet. There is generally also BYOB alcohol policies at a club (they provide the drink mixers), so get yourself a nice glass of wine to relax a bit along with a few snacks, and be seated. DON’T get drunk! Often first timers tend to have one too many to take the edge off so that they are relaxed but this can be a deal breaker folks because it is quite insulting to say the least if you have to be drunk to endure sexual pleasures with someone.
Do understand that there are a variety of clubs. Where can you find them? They are all over the place and vary amongst cities and states. Some clubs as premise clubs do not allow “street” clothes in the play room areas, so if you do not want to run around there naked or wrapped in a towel, sexy lingerie such as a bedroom costume is an excellent choice. Know the dress code! In some, you need towels only and in others, women wear sexy lingerie and men wearing underwear are appropriate. You can find an array of sexy lingerie including adult theme party lingerie at www.SimplyDeliciousLingerie.com. Visit the bedroom costumes section where you’ll find something erotic and titillating. If you are looking for adult travel choices or for swinging, I would like to suggest www.TrystTravel.com? This is an excellent choice and a favorite of mine where they will assist you in fulfilling your deepest desires. Specializing in Adults Only Erotic Vacations, Tryst Travel is an excellent choice for your adult vacation. Here you will enter a world unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. They specialize in vacations that are designed to entice the senses and stimulate your deepest desires in a variety of locations.

Stay tuned for my next article where I will reflect on swingers and the proper swinger terminology used, along with suggested sexy adult theme party lingerie pieces that are arousing, intoxicating and sexy to wear at any swingers club!

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October 10, 2014