Tag: LGBTQ

  • Who says you cannot be naughty + nice?

    Who says you cannot be naughty + nice?

    Christmas has descended upon us once again! Amidst the merry making, gift-wrapping and festive cheers, there is still that important question that begs to be answered: Naughty, or nice?

    To be frank, what’s the point of segregating the naughty from the nice? Who says you cannot be naughty while, at the same time, be nice? Or vice versa? I am pretty sure that Santa has gotten on with the times and disregarded making those lists and checking them twice.

    Let’s start with the simple stuff: how to be nice. There are plenty of examples that you can execute, which automatically fall under the nice list:

    1. Surprise that special someone with a home-cooked meal! If you can’t cook, get their favourite take-outs and fashion it into a presentable meal at home. Alternatively, if you are not into that much work, just reserve a table for two in a place that you can (obviously) afford or go Dutch with.
    2. Get him or her that gift that they have always coveted. But of course, do bear in mind your budget for this season. Don’t skimp on other gifts just to get that something special. Or worse, get yourself into serious debt. Tis the season to be jolly, not to be devoid of money.
    3. If you are up for something altruistic, how about setting aside some time to do voluntary work? Find a cause that resonates strongly with you and give back to society. Spread some Christmas cheer to those less fortunate than us.

    Once you are done with the niceties, it’s finally time to put on your sexy Santa outfit – or elf, if you are into that sort of thing – get out there and get some! Depending on what flavour you like, add some spice and mint this festive season:

    1. Inject spicy moves into your bedroom activities. Greet your partner at the door with barely minimal or even nothing on. Blindfold them. Tie their hands and feet together with something silky. Introduce feathers into the foreplay. Get the temperatures rising by alternating with something hot and cold. Some biting action here and there, so long as they are in discrete spots. For the home run, do it anywhere and everywhere apart from the bed.
    2. Suggest going for a long drive across the country. Ride shotgun and give him glimpses of what he will be receiving once you have reached your secluded destination. If you’re the driver, that’s even better! Of course, be mindful of the traffic laws. As what they say in the army: you can do anything, so long as you don’t get caught.
    3. If you are feeling extremely naughty, how about a threesome? That will be the ultimate surprise. It can also be a good gift, if you can’t afford to buy anything this year. If a threesome proves to be a tad too much, get someone to be a voyeur instead – it is not too extreme, yet at the same time still injecting that naughty vibe. However, if you want something even more extreme, then go ahead and find a sex party. Now kids, remember that it is always better to be safe than sorry, so ensure that the gloves are on before the lovin’ can commence.

    Mixing up the naughty and the nice this festive season is not a difficult task to execute and achieve. With some sleigh bells jingle-ing and ring ting tingle-ing, now is the time for some (sleigh) ride with your Santa baby, who will be hurrying down that chimney tonight.

    Let’s get your Feliz Navidad on!

  • Has Emma Watson been Naughty or Nice for Christmas?

    Has Emma Watson been Naughty or Nice for Christmas?

    On September 20, Emma Watson, best known as Hermione Granger to all Harry Potter fans, delivered a powerful speech on feminism and how to make men active participants in stopping violence against women at the United Nations. While the speech is aimed to raise awareness of gender equality, it does send some useful messages that can be applied to other contexts, including the LGBT rights movement and sexual equality.

     

    According to Watson, in order to effectively stop all kinds of violence against women, men need to start becoming active participants in the process of solving gender inequality. Additionally, in the past, feminism is often considered as men-hating, and solutions to violence against women have long been victim-oriented. The advices are mostly asking women to be aware of their own dress-code, behavior, and personal safety. Rarely do we see men being mentioned as part of the solution, and this creates a very unbalanced situation where women, often the victims, are required to solve their own problems, while men, often the perpetrators, can sit by the side, waiting for the situation to improve.

     

    For LGBT rights activists, Watson’s advice sheds new light on how to engage the general public in a more effective and meaningful way. Throughout its history, LGBT rights movement has mostly been an one-way traffic, where activists championed pro-LGBT slogans to attract the general public’s attention. This strategy has been working fine until now, but if we place it next to the feminist movement, it is not hard to see the similar patterns between the two, a victim-oriented perspective. While LGBT rights movement may not seem to be straight-hating, some extreme slogans might sound a bit aggressive at making the heterosexual camp recognize us and our rights. That may explain why some hardcore anti-LGBT individuals insist on upholding their principles even until now. Instead of continuing to push them to accept sexual equality, trying to make them part of the efforts to end sexual inequality may work better. In other words, strengthening interaction and mutual understanding can clear the barriers between both camps. It no longer feels like forcing things onto an unwilling customer, rather, we will be offering them insights into our lifestyle and culture, and let them take time to compromise the difference between these new understanding and their old beliefs.

     

    That being said, there is still much work to do in terms of establishing a systematic approach to bridge the gap between both camps. Clearing sexual stereotypes should be one important step to take because it has been one of the fundamental principles that divide all of us into different groups. Sexual stereotypes enforce rigid image and definition to different groups, and members of those groups oftentimes will think and behave along the same sexual ideology. The clash between different sexual ideologies is inevitable and that often leads to the misunderstanding between each other. To get rid of sexual stereotypes is to free all groups from the rigid rules imposed on them and reconstruct the meaning of sexuality. The rigid image and definition matching with different groups should come to an end, because after all, sexuality should be fluid but not rigid. Freeing different groups from having to follow certain ideologies is to help encourage mutual understanding among different groups.

     

    Watson’s speech may be paving the way for the breakthrough of LGBT rights movement, with us inviting the rest of society to join the force to end sexual inequality and discrimination. Although the idea of heterosexual and LGBT communities coexist harmoniously in the world may seem too ideal for now, the idea of shifting the responsibility of ensuring sexual equality to the long-time foes of that idea is one groundbreaking but adoptable solution. While the process may still take decades to reach that harmonious state, it will be a good direction for the LGBT rights movement to go forward.

  • Naughty or Nice: Begging to Cum

    Naughty or Nice: Begging to Cum

    Men tied up and begging to cum. That is the catch phase of fetish porn site Men on Edge. The site caters to those that have a BDSM fetish that skews towards Edging. Edging is orgasm control. It is a sexual technique where you reach a sexual high while consciously prolonging your climax. In one of the scenes that I watched, a guy was blowing another guy that was tied up. The blow job was aggressive making the submissive hard and high quickly. Before the submissive could climax, the dominant stops the simulation to prevent the submissive from ejaculating. It does sound like torture but there are some people that enjoy it; having erotic sexual denial sessions that could last hours.

    Edging is not only a form of sexual pleasure but there are those that use the technique to help to cure premature ejaculation naturally. When performing Edging on your own, you would masturbate to learn your own point of no return. That is the point when you know you will ejaculate. Once you learn how the sensation feels like, you will have to learn to resist the urge to ejaculate both physically and mentally. This is a tall order that requires patience. Some recommend that an Edging session last between 20 to 30 minutes. And adds that you might only see improvements after a few weeks of training.

    Sexual pleasure and curing premature ejaculation are only some of the benefits of Edging. Another interesting benefit is multiple orgasm. Guys having multiple orgasm is a topic that is rarely talked about. However by practicing Edging, it is something achievable for men. When you are fully well aware of your own point of no return, you are able to stop stimulate during sexual intercourse before you cum. Hence, your body will feel the full pleasure of climax without ejaculation. This is also known as a dry orgasm. Once the wave passes, you should be able to carry on for the next round. Making sexual intercourse last as long as both you and your partner what to.

    It is important to know how long a session should last. During one of my sexual escapades, I ejaculated however the guy that I was with did not. I remember the guy told me I almost made him cum twice but he held back. It made me wonder if it would have been different if he did not hold back. I had to endure getting lock jaw, prolonged anal pains and general fatigue. It is not easy for someone in the bottom position. It also made me wonder the effects of Edging causes desensitization of the penis. I have slept with guys where they remain flaccid for long period, take a lot of stimulation to get hard and it feels like they take forever to cum. It is not the most enjoyable of all sexual encounters. However, these negative experiences are just speculation on my part that might be cause by Edging.

    At the end of the day, Edging is pleasurable and useful sexual technique. It may bring an interesting dynamic to current your sexual lifestyle. So this Christmas if you are planning to have some fun, then trying some Edging fun and leave someone begging to cum.

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  • What do most men do after sex

    What do most men do after sex

    I am one of those men who believe that –

    The sex act can be divided into three components: foreplay, intercourse, and afterplay.

    Foreplay, about which volumes have been written, is the traditional lead-in to intercourse itself. Foreplay can last from minutes to hours, is limited primarily by imagination and creativity, and includes all activities that stimulate the sexual appetite for intercourse. I truly enjoy foreplay, unlike some men who just want to get down to the business.

    Personally speaking, I love intense and insanely hot makeout session, caressing, heavy petting and oral sex. The passion of getting aroused by tantalizing kissing, touching and caressing erogenous zones, exploring each other’s bodies before penetration can be very satisfying.
    Intercourse itself is what most people consider the pleasure of sex. However, what happens after intercourse can be just as meaningful emotionally and pleasurable physically. This post coital activity is known as “afterplay”.

    This is what most men do after having sex-

    1. Roll over and fall asleep.

    2. Obsessive need to clean up after. Some men feel repulsed after orgasm and just want to clean themselves up thoroughly.

    3. Light a cigarette. I know it sounds like a cliche’ but some men enjoy a smoke after the act.

    4. Get up and leave. Their point is- “I am in for sex and not for after play or anything. Dude, we are not in a relationship or anything, Right?”

    5. Cuddle, some men like to cuddle which reinforces release of endorphins and oxytocin. It maakes you feel good.

    6. Finally there are those men- who like to clean up everything without using towel, if you know what I mean 🙂

    Unfortunately, most men don’t believe in afterplay, and frankly not much is written about afterplay.

    As far as I am concerned, I believe that afterplay is as important as foreplay. Ignorance of afterplay is common. Many people simply don’t realize that intimate ambiance can continue after orgasm.

    Some universal perspectives on how to enjoy Afterplay

    How should you afterplay? That depends on you as a couple. Many people prefer cuddling and snuggling. Hair brushing, back scratching, massaging, and caressing are also popular. Just lying together, savoring the touch, sight, smell, and taste of each other can bring intense emotional satisfaction and ready lovers for another shared intimacy.

    To quote the fourth century Sanskrit love manual, the Kama Sutra- “If lovers spend time playing and caressing each other at the end of their loving, then their ecstasy and confidence increase. Love-play enhances pleasure.”
    Afterplay should include some of the things that they enjoy and that brought them together in the first place, such as a bubble bath, sharing a glass of wine, or listening to music. Romantic, intimate conversation during afterplay can enhance the emotional aspects of sex and strengthen the bonds of the relationship, as can sharing an intimate laugh or joke.

    Afterplay do’s and don’ts

    It is important to remember that the time immediately after intercourse is a time of great vulnerability. If the intercourse is fast, furious, and unfulfilling, the partners–may feel  “post coital depression.” This feeling of emptiness and resentment can be lessened by effective afterplay, especially with reassurance, embracing, and cuddling. If there was difficulty during sex, the ensuing awkwardness or embarrassment can also be relieved by good afterplay.

    In his book Secrets of Better Sex, Dr. Joel Block provides five “do’s and don’ts ” for enjoying afterplay

    • Don’t use afterplay as a “sexual postmortem.”
    • Don’t air sexual grievances or complaints.
    • Do use this intimate time to express sexual feelings, thoughts, and desires that you’ve not previously shared.
    • Don’t discuss problems with your job, your finances, or your children.
    • Do cuddle and caress for at least five minutes.
    • Do say “I love you’.”

    Want to prolong afterplay?

    You can avoid the following: jumping up to “wash off,” turning on the television, making phone calls, criticizing your partner’s performance, or making comparisons to previous partners.

    Another important consideration regarding afterplay is the timing of sex. If you usually have sex at night, your fatigue, in combination with the parasympathetic response of orgasm will reduce your energy for afterplay. Why not consider sex at different times of the day? Early morning sex is a great way to start the day, and “afternoon delight” is just that. That extra burst of energy may just allow you more room for dessert!

    Now don’t forget to subscribe to my blog and share this article.

    Reference:
    1. http://monticelloinstitute.com/
    2. Secrets of Better Sex, Dr. Joel Block


    This article has been republished with permission from Deepak.

    Please visit Deepak’s website  to view the original post and more of Deepak’s works.


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  • Q! Film Festival: The Celebration of Queers in Indonesia

    Q! Film Festival: The Celebration of Queers in Indonesia

    Q! Film Festival returns for the 13th time this year. Being the first and only film festival in Indonesia dedicated to screening movies focusing on the theme of gender, human rights and HIV/AIDS; Q! Film Festival marks the celebration of the LGBT community in the predominantly Muslim country.

    Q! Film Festival was initiated by freelance journalists and movie enthusiasts in 2002. Supported by local institutes and foreign cultural centers and embassies, Q! Film Festival plays films from all over the world. This year, a total of 107 films were screened in 10 venues in Jakarta. They are Kineforum, Salihara, Institut Francais Indonesie (IFI), Goethe Institut, Sekolah Tinggi Teologi Jakarta, Lembaga Bantuan Hukum (LBH), Angsa Merah, Arus Pelangi, Paviliun 28 and Bina Nusantara University. Previously, the festival was also held in Bandung, Surabaya, Medan, Batam, Yogyakarta, Malang, Denpasar, Maumere and Makassar.

    Being in the country regarded as the world’s most populous Muslim nation in the world, the existence of LGBT is still considered as a deviance in the society. In 2002 and 2003 respectively, the launching of the festival were marked with the protests from Muslim fundamentalist groups. The attack got into physical threats, demonstration, and lawsuits against the committee in 2010. Meninaputri Wismurti or Putri, the current festival advisor, had to deal with the fundamentalists face-to-face. She noticed strangers following her home. She also received mysterious packages such as bible and dead animal as well as random phone calls even up to this day. They also threatened to rape her to “straighten her up” while she is actually straight, just because she was involved in the festival.

    Putri started to volunteer in 2002 when she initially came to the screening as the audience. She worked her way up to becoming the volunteer coordinator in 2007 and now serves as the advisor, programmer, and sponsorship executive for the festival. On her active involvement in the festival, in spite of being straight, Putri believes that we should never stop seeking knowledge, and nurturing compassion, humanity and empathy for a better understanding of ourselves and others.

    In 2012, the police rejected the announcement letter of the festival and requested a recommendation letter from the Indonesian Ulema Council stating whether the festival is Halal or not. Due to the letter was not feasible to be acquired; the festival had to be extended for a month because many venues withdrew their participation as they were worried that the police could not protect them.

    In 2013, though, the police did the job well as the citizen protector for the festival. This year, Q! Film Festival is celebrating the ingredients that make us 100 percent Human.

    The festival was opened with the film Quick Change from the Philippines. Set in Manila, it tells the story of a community of transgender who yearn for instant-changes in their lives as well as their physical features. Will a quick change make life better for them?

    Representing all genres, the films include a mother-(gay) son relationship in the movie Eat With Me, the journey of finding your true self in In The Absence of The Sun, and the based-on-true-events biopic of gay life in Europe in the 1950s, The Circle, which won the best documentary and audience award in Berlin International Festival 2014.

    The festival also provided free HIV test and counseling to the participants in collaboration with Angsa Merah Clinic. The audience could come to each facility to get a test confidentially, and they would receive free counseling services as well.

    Jimmy, 26, a marketing event professional attended the festival for the first time out of curiosity. He felt that the LGBT community had been misunderstood a lot by the society and he wanted to know why. After the screening of The Circle, Jimmy admitted that he enjoyed the movie because it depicted how difficult being gay was in 1950s and how hard they worked to pioneer gay emancipation. Jimmy hopes that the festival would encourage LGBT people in Indonesia to embrace who they are.

    Farida, 24, a social media strategist, attended the festival a few times. As a straight woman, she wanted to know more about the LGBT life. She realized that the lives of LGBT people are not easy and came to appreciate their struggle more. Farida hopes that the community will receive equal treatment and she is looking forward to attending the festival again next year.

    The mission of Q! Film Festival is to provide options of alternative films to Indonesian audience as well as to educate and raise awareness on queer and human rights issues. The Q! Film Festival is now the biggest queer film festival in Asia, in terms of number of film screenings and number of days. It has also been acknowledged as part of the Teddy Award Section of Berlin Film Festival called “Teddy on Tour” since 2006.


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  • “Hi, No String Attached, Right?”

    “Hi, No String Attached, Right?”

    My friend decided to download Growlr – a gay-dating app for chubby, cub, bears, and chaser. When he was setting up his profile, he had to ask me what the meaning of “No Strings Attached” is. He though he had to use his G-Strings to sexually attracts someone. Or he asks someone to use his G-Strings. I said “No, you are totally wrong.”

    No Strings Attached is just a relationship that has no condition or contractual requirements, where two people decide to engage in a sexual relationship that has no ties or expectation with regards to finances, exclusivity or romance. Literally, there are no strings binding the two together. In other word, No Strings Attached is some kind of casual dating or friends with benefits.

    “So, why would someone want to have a relationship like that,” he asked.

    The most important thing when downloading a gay-dating app is, not to expect too much from someone that you have messaged. According to my experience, 80% of people profiles always states No Strings Attached. It is no doubt that gay culture is usually identified with finally-in-bed or casual sex. I have also installed Growlr, but since my profiles states Friends and not No String Attached, I did not receive many massages. Can be said that the signification of possibility to have sex is quite big?

    The relation of no string attached is not always occurring with gays and lesbians. The straights people also have casual sex. One of my friends told me that she does not want to have a relationship with a man. She prefers to have a fuck buddy but she does not reject that someday she will get married and quit this kind of activities.

    No strings Attached is not common in Southeast Asia, at least in Indonesia because the perfect relationship is a relationship based on love. The Indonesian culture is frown upon pre-marital sex, treasuring virginity is a must. But some Indonesians who live in big cities, like in Jakarta, are for them as they do not see it as big deal. The No strings Attached is nothing to do with the issues of virginity.

    I am not trying to be an academic source. I only want to provide basic knowledge for peoples who do not understand No Strings Attached in the form of an ideology. So do not be surprised if one day you have friends that love this kind of relationship. They are not a slut! Because they know consciously choose what they want to do with their life.

    My friend who downloaded Growlr gave a nod with a puzzled look. I said to him, “Do not be confused, you can fill your profile with whatever wish. If you want to have a fuck buddy, save sex and always use condom. It is up to you now!”

    And he typed No Strings Attached!


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  • Kinky Kinks

    Kinky Kinks

    Sex or sexual intercourse is always hot and steamy on the first or maybe second time but what comes after is the mundane routine of in and out and in and out and … well … you get the idea. So I begin to wonder what can be done to spice up the relationship … sexually. So I asked around, including Mr. Google, and did some exploration (with my partner of course) and tried many possible kinky moves, which led me to some sassy information to share with all of you.

    Rope & Blindfold Playing
    The run-of-the-mill being tied up and blindfolded works almost every time as my partner pretends to be a pervasive intruder exploring every part of my body, looking for spots that sends my body tingling with joy. The moans and screams (at times) serve as human radar for him to know if he is near or reaching a g-spot. It is most exciting when he hits a spot that makes me go “woah” without any anticipation as he maneuvers along my body.

    Sexual Role-play
    Expanding from that, role-playing can really unleash one’s creativity to the max where anything and everything is possible. Combinations can include soldier vs. prisoner, police vs. robber, king vs. jester, kidnapper vs. kidnapee, pilot vs. air-steward, servant vs. gardener, bellboy vs. hotel guest, power ranger vs. monster and many more. While the possibilities are infinite, please do not engage in dangerous acts such hanging down from ceiling with ropes of questionable quality, or banging too hard and causing the bed to fall apart. On top of which, there are many shops out there that offer rental of costumes at pretty affordable rates.

    While much of these information can be found online, some things can be discovered as gays … oops I mean days go by.

    Blow Cock Blow
    Don’t be stingy with the blowjobs, really, as I’ve never seen anything works better than a good blowjob. When I say blowjob, one does not simply wrap da mouth on the cock and suck away. Treat the cock like an UFO that you want to explore every inch of before you start the engine. Move from the “cock-pit” to the “opening” and slowly give the touch-and-go with the tongue, as if things will go haywire when the tongue stays too long. Following which, the exploration of sides, top and bottom is important before embarking on the journey to orgasm.

    All About Positioning
    While a business shop front is about location, location and location, bedtime sex front is all about position, position and position. With two sticks and two holes, the permutations and combinations of positions is almost limitless. While doggy is the preferred position for most, missionary, 69 and see-saw seem to work better for me and my boo. No one position fits all; there is always a preferred position for each couple.

    The Don’ts
    Exploring is important, but there are boundaries that one should not cross. I have seen a few examples of kinky games gone wrong (not by me though) and I sure hope the below will serve as a caution and reminder here.

    • Melted hot sugar is not like wax as they retain heat much longer. Thus, can cause a nasty burn or even peelings when poured onto bare skin.
    • Handcuffs are harder to take off in time and emergencies which can put one in dangerous position. Just stick to ropes, we are not really kidnapping anyway.
    • Don’t use toys too often as they can be cause infections and STIs if not sanitized properly, resulting in nasty rashes and skin problems.
    • Threesomes break up more relationships than enhancing them, no one who loves their partner deeply will want to see them being penetrated or penetrating another person.
    • Please leave live animals alone as they are not meant to be involved in anything sexual with humans.
    • NEVER EVER use drugs or pills as they impair one’s judgment. The greatest medicine for sex is love and nothing beats that.

    What works for me and my partner is not universal, and so it is important for two people in love to explore what is best for them and what takes them to the next level of the relationship, sexually … *wink*

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  • Are gay men Sexually impulsive and compulsive

    Gay culture is often associated with promiscuity, acting on sexual impulses and difficulty in controlling sexual impulses. We gays, call the promiscuous phase of our gay life as the “Whore phase.” This phase usually lasts for couple of years after coming out of the closet. Sometimes, this phase lasts longer for some gay men. Some gay men are sexually impulsive and compulsive.

    Definition of sexually impulsive behavior and sexually compulsive behavior

    Some individuals have a great deal of difficulty controlling their sexual behavior. They have frequent intrusive thoughts about sex and repeatedly engage in sexual behavior that can become out of control. This can result in numerous problems –

    • sexually transmitted diseases
    • exposure to human immunodeficiency virus
    • legal consequences
    • problems in maintaining a relationship or a marriage
    • domestic violence

    Sexually impulsive behaviors which can include “acting out” sexually in illegal or inappropriate ways can be seen as being influenced by environmental triggers such as a sights, sounds and smells. With sexually impulsive behaviors, there is an inability to resist an impulse, tension before engaging in the sexual behavior and a sense of release upon exhibiting the sexual behavior.

    Sexually compulsive behaviors, or those behaviors that are sometimes characterized as hypersexual behaviors, can be seen as increased sexual thoughts and behaviors that can have negative or deleterious effects on an individual’s life. Rather than being triggered by environmental factors, sexually compulsive behaviors are often organic in nature.

    Alcohol and drugs can sometimes be seen as catalysts for these sexual behaviors because, as a rule, they can lower inhibitions and, as such, can lead to an increase in sexually impulsive behaviors that can be harmful to an individual or to others.

    The primary difference between those individuals who engage in sexually compulsive behaviors and those men who have active sex lives with multiple partners is that rather than thoroughly enjoying their sexuality and sexual activity on all levels, the individual is, instead, engaging in sexual behaviors to avoid feelings of tension and anxiety.

    Types of Impulsive-Compulsive Sexual Behavior

    Coleman has classified at least seven subtypes of impulsive-compulsive sexual behavior: compulsive cruising and multiple partners, compulsive fixation on an unattainable partner, compulsive autoeroticism (masturbation), compulsive use of erotica, compulsive use of the Internet for sexual purposes, compulsive multiple love relationships, and compulsive sexuality in a relationship.

    Coleman has identified seven types of impulsive-compulsive sexual behavior listed in Table 1 below. Click on image to enlarge.

    Untitled

    from: cnsspectrum.com

    Depending upon the circumstances driving the sexual thoughts and sexual behaviors, being either sexually impulsive or sexually compulsive are, in fact, two alternative ways to describe what is commonly referred to, in the nomenclature, as sexual addiction.

    How does a person’s being in a steady romantic relationship affect sexually impulsive or sexually compulsive behaviors?

    Because these hypersexual behaviors include a neurochemical reaction, the brain seeks ways to keep a steady flow of the neurochemicals that increase the very powerful sense of reward and pleasure. The sexual encounter that one would have with one’s partner or spouse cannot replicate the intensity and the duration of the neurochemical reaction that an individual would obtain from seeking sexual encounters outside the relationship.

    Whether viewing hours of pornographic imagery, engaging in lengthy online sexual chats or cyber-sexual video-chats, perusing online personals or phone apps for potential sexual partners or driving to meet individuals for sexual encounters, the individual is receiving a steady flow of these powerful neurochemicals and, because of the immense feeling of pleasure and reward, the brain wants these chemicals to continue to flow.

    Sexual addiction, therefore, is really about the “seeking” in that the brain is seeking a continuation of the neurochemical reaction for as long as possible. When we’re talking about sexual addiction we’re actually talking about an individual being addicted to their own neurochemistry.

    Reference: http:

    1. Coleman E. Is your patient suffering from compulsive sexual behavior? Psychiatr Ann. 1992;22:320-325.
      2. Coleman E. Compulsive Sexual Behavior: new concepts and treatments. J Psychol Hum Sex. 1991:4:37-52.
      3. Money J. Lovemaps: Clinical Concepts of Sexual/Erotic Health and Pathology, Paraphilia, and Gender Transposition in Childhood, Adolescence and Maturity. New York, NY: Irvington Publishers; 1986.
      4. Bradford JM. The paraphilas, obsessive compulsive spectrum disorder and the treatment of sexually deviant behaviour. Psychiatr Q. 1999;70:209-219.

     

    This article has been republished with permission from Deepak.
    Please visit Deepak’s website  to view the original post and more of Deepak’s works.


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  • 12th Taiwan Gay Pride: An act of public obscenity or self-expression?

    12th Taiwan Gay Pride: An act of public obscenity or self-expression?

    What comes to your mind when you think of gay pride parades? Topless guys with six pack abs and guys in speedo with strong torsos waving at you with a perfect smile. Over the years, public body exposure seems to have become a trademark in every gay pride parade. From promotional posters to official websites, images of guys confidently showcasing their body occupy most of the spaces. While it may not be a big deal in western countries, it has stirred some fierce debates in more conservative societies like Taiwan.

    Although Taiwan Gay Pride has entered its 12th year, the general public still seems to have trouble getting used to having a massive crowd of topless guys in colorful Speedos marching through the streets. Many of them choose to bear with it because it is the once a year’s carnival occasion to them. However, every society has a group of moral defenders whose mission is to safeguard the traditional social values from the challenges posed by new cultural practices. Taiwan is no exception from that. Its group of moral fighters have been working hard to prevent Taiwanese society from falling to the invasion of foreign cultural practices.

    It all started with the proposal of Taiwan’s civil partnership bill, which is aiming to grant marriage rights to LGBT couples. While this idea immediately received popular supports from Taiwan’s younger generation, a group called Taiwan Family Preservation Union decided to take up the task of preserving traditional marriages in Taiwan. They started to publicized biased beliefs about the LGBT community and Taiwan Gay Pride became one of their prime targets. The Pride’s scantily clad participants became their scapegoat. Accusing the Pride for attempting to loosen sexual morality in Taiwan by encouraging participants to publicly expose their bodies. To them, these acts of mass body exposure have reached a level of obscenity. However, the organizers of the Taiwan Gay Pride emphasize that the parade’s goal is to encourage self-expression through the showcasing personal body image. The Pride organizers that suggest conservatives rationalize the situation based on facts. A simple act of self-expression should have never been distorted into an act of intentional obscenity.

    In the end, it all comes down to personal interpretation of public body exposure. For the younger generation including myself, it is the occasion that defines the act. In the case of gay pride parades, marchers expose their body parts in public to proudly celebrate LGBT culture and their queer identity. To them, it is a rare occasion where they can completely speak up about themselves without worrying about malice backlash from society rather than intentionally provoking the society at large. These LGBT individuals merely hope to attract the general public’s attention and share their ideas, culture and lifestyles with them. While conservatives may keep emphasizing the negative influence stemming from public body exposure, the LGBT community should not compromise this tradition so easily. After all, it is one of the more effective ways to get people’s attention and let them hear what we have to say. As long as the act does not go overboard, it should continue to be the widely practiced tradition in gay pride parades.

  • 12th Taiwan Gay Pride: Redefining the LGBT culture

    12th Taiwan Gay Pride: Redefining the LGBT culture

    This past weekend saw the rainbow flags back in town when Taiwan held its 12th Gay Pride Parade in Taipei. With efforts from previous years, Taiwan Gay Pride has become an iconic LGBT event in Asia that attracted around 80,000 across the country and the world to participate in the parade this year. This year’s parade focuses on encouraging members of the LGBT community to learn about each other’s differences through embracing sexuality with a more open-minded attitude. In addition to the continuous effort to educate the general public about LGBT culture, the parade organizers think that different factions within the LGBT community also need to strengthen their mutual understanding. In other words, the dialogue about LGBT culture and sexuality needs to be redefined.

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    Taiwan’s LGBT rights movement was initiated from conservative social and cultural environment where the idea of homosexuality was rarely at the center of discussion. In its early years, it had to bridge existing barriers and introduce the unfamiliar idea of homosexuality to the Taiwanese society. Their mission is about establishing a fair and comprehensive understanding and meaning of sexuality in the Taiwanese social context. Their achievements became obvious when Taiwan was gradually recognized as the very few countries with an open-minded attitude toward LGBT culture. However, this does not help to completely clear up stereotypes associated with the LGBT community. HIV and STD continue to be regarded as gay men’s disease while LGBT individuals still face different kinds of discrimination. This may make us doubt on whether efforts from previous years will all end up in vain. It seems obvious that the LGBT rights movement fails to produce a public image that can represent all members of the community, and that further contributes to the fragmented understanding that the general public holds. The LGBT rights movement needs an internal remodeling in order to overcome existing stereotypes.

    Thanks to a group of dedicated lawmakers who recognize the LGBT community’s need for a common ground, a proposal for a same-sex marriage bill is presented to the public. This quickly sparked strong opinion from both ends of the spectrum. The bill offers the LGBT rights movement a common ground to present a public image that encompasses the shared wish of the LGBT community. The community is now united under one simple wish, the right to get married legally. Banners bearing slogans calling for civil partnership can be seen throughout the procession of the 12th Taiwan Gay Pride. The civil partnership bill also simplifies issues surrounding the LGBT community for the general public. While defenders of traditional marriage continue to publicize false beliefs about LGBT culture and how it could endanger the traditional marriage values, for the first time, the LGBT community is given a channel to share its thoughts and ideas to the general public directly. Their arguments became simpler and more concentrated. Most importantly, it reflects the simple desire of the LGBT community to acquire rights that are enjoyed by the rest of society.

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    The new focus on equal rights and fair treatment helps to redirect the discussion about LGBT culture toward a less complicated path. The general public should realize that LGBT individuals in Taiwan are not asking for more than what the rest of them have been enjoying. The dialogue initiated by the LGBT community is aiming to create an equal social environment where LGBT individuals can coexist with the rest of society without suffering from any discriminatory treatment. It is about harmonious coexistence, and not fierce confrontation.102518 (800x451)

     

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