Fetish model and producer, Roxie Rae, has produced countless of videos on various fetishes. They include belly button worship, foot worship, smoking fetish, virtual sex and JOI. Here are 4 thing’s to know about JOI’s from Roxie Rae.
What is JOI?
JOI is Jerk Off Instructions – funny story: my phone auto corrects joy to JOI!
Why do you think men enjoy this fetish and are turned on by it?
I love doing the JOI clips! I think they are so hot with the dirty talk and giving instructions. I think men like it for the same reasons I do!
How long are your JOI videos typically?
A typical JOI clip is 6-10 min but I also do longer and shorter ones too!
What can one expect when watching one of your JOI videos?
Expect a hot sexy tease, maybe some denial, expect to let me play and torture u a little bit, before I either let you cum or don’t!
Visit Roxie Rae’s profile below and the links to her websites and social media!
Images courtesy of Roxie Rae
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Verbal humiliation is exactly what it says on the tin: mocking and/or insulting somebody, either about themselves as a whole or focused on a more specific area of themselves or their life. Often, if a man is insecure about, say, the size of his penis, he will fetishize this insecurity and begin to get off over women mocking his penis and telling him how disgusting it is. I think the kink comes from something being ‘so wrong that it’s right.’ They know that this should upset them and they know that they shouldn’t tolerate being spoken to in this way but there is something hot about it to them that they can’t quite put their finger on. Often, a man will want a pretty girl to put him in his place because it reminds him of the popular girls at school that used to reject him: he internalises the pain and humiliation and turns it into a kink.
What are some words, names or lines used during verbal humiliation?
Generally the term ‘loser’ will get thrown around quite a lot by Dommes. I like to add a little variation so I might refer to someone as a ‘social leper’ or a ‘socially awkward freak’ or something. I will mock them for whatever it is that they want me to mock them about – having no friends, for example – and then mock them about getting off on that fact, calling them a filthy pervert for fetishizing something that should really be upsetting them.
Are there other ways to make verbal humiliation kinkier by doing other things at the same time?
Of course, you can compare it with JOI, which refers to ‘Jerk Off Instruction,’ where you tell a a man how and when to masturbate, perhaps getting him right to the edge of orgasm and then ordering him to stop. You can also turn the verbal assault into something a little more sensual, by wearing sexy lingerie and taunting the guy in a seductive voice about how he could never even hope to get close to you. The cuckold fetish also comes into play quite a lot, whereby the man gets aroused at the idea of a girl that they’re attracted to having sex with other men, so you can verbally humiliate them with that by telling stories about your sex life or all the wonderful ‘real men’ that you’ll be flirting with later on, and so on.
How does a typical verbal humiliation process go?
I generally just rip into them, throwing everything that I can at them. It gets really cruel but that’s why they love it so much. Often I’ll ask them questions about their life, and whatever they say will be used against them as ‘proof’ that they really are pathetic. I will also ask questions that force them to acknowledge that they are pathetic, such as saying ‘don’t you agree that you’re really fucked up?’ etc. If I’m doing an SPH session (Small Penis Humiliation) then I’ll ask questions about their sex life and tell them that there is no doubt in my mind that all of their sexual partners have faked orgasms and laughed about their small manhood with all of their girlfriends.
My name is Kitty Devine and I’m a professional online dominatrix from Manchester in the UK. I’ve been doing this job for about 18 months, firstly as a way to make a bit of pocket money while I was at University and then full-time when I discovered that it was a passion of mine. Visit the links to my website (worshipyourmistress) and video clips by clicking on the links under my profile below!
Images courtesy of Goddess Kitty Have an amazing experience or tips you like to share on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!
If you’re into erotic and fetish modelling, it’s a must to check out Hex Hypoxia and her works. In addition, she also does fetish performance in fireplay, bondage and shibari. Find out more and admire her photos in this interview!
Hi Hex, it’s a great pleasure to interview you on SimplySxy. Can you share a little about yourself and where you’re from to our readers?
Thanks for having me! I’m a full time model and performer, based out of Austin Texas and travel worldwide.
Photo and Makeup: JL Capella
How did your interest in modeling begin?
I actually never thought of modeling as a career for me. I started as a performer and while doing promo shots for a group I worked with, the photographer liked my look and started shooting with me. It was definitely a challenge, and I love a challenge so kept with it!
Photo: Lorenzo Chuca, Latex: Cinched Tight
Was going into fetish, erotic and nude modeling an exciting experience for you?
I think each genre I do has a different feel and excitement behind it, each one is a different experience, even down to each shoot. Its’ always something new and I love it.
We like seeing all the photos on your website which are shot very artistically. Do you have an idea of the style and pose you want going into a shoot or do you leave it to the photographer to decide?
Before a shoot, I’m usually told the style/idea/theme so I can be prepared. And as far as poses, I tend to try to fit the photographers vision with what I’m doing as much as I can. Usually that seems to work well haha.
Photo: J Isobel De Lisle
You have a lot of amazing tattoos! Is there an interesting story you can share behind one of them?
Thank you! As for tattoos, haha there’s a story behind every single one. The one on my hand for example, the group of friends I lived with back then all had “hold me <3” tattooed on their palms. I was the odd one out without it, so one day I announced I finally got it down then came home with “don’t touch me” on mine haha. It fits though!
Photo: Theresa Manchester
What is the naughtiest thing you have ever done?
Well if I told you that, I might accidentally give away the location of the bodies, so I’ll have to smile mysteriously and move on to the next question haha.
Which is your favorite body part?
On me? My hands. Because they hold pizza.
Photo: J Rodgers, Latex: Pandora Deluxe
Thank you again for being on SimplySxy, Hex. One question before we end, how do you define “sexy”?
I think “sexy” is all a matter of opinion, and that’s okay. Whatever works for you, turns you on, makes you feel good. And if your definition of sexy is different then others, that’s totally okay. Everyone likes what they like, and I think more people need to realize that’s not a bad thing.
To run a bondage website or any small niche fetish site, it has to be something that you’re just dying to do and that you’d be doing even if there were no money in it. It really is a lot of work and I’m sure there are easier ways to make a living. It’s the kind of thing where a person has to be a little crazy and obsessive to keep doing it, or else after a few years you’ll find that it’s a grind and not much fun anymore and it’ll be time to look for a real job.
I certainly have some days like that where planning the next shoot and editing the next pictures feel like a chore but for the most part it’s great, and it has been extremely satisfying. These have certainly been some of the best years of my life and I just want to keep them going as long as I can. I only wish I’d started ten years earlier.
One other thing to consider is that if you’re running a fetish website as your full-time work there’s always that little question that comes up when you meet someone new, “So what do you do?”
When I was just starting out I gave vague answers about web design but I felt uncomfortable with the question, as I wasn’t sure that my website was really going to be successful or how long I’d be doing it. Now that it’s been online for twelve years I mostly just tell people the truth, that I run an adult or fetish website. Most of the time it’s a non-issue, but I’ve certainly run into people who’ve been uncomfortable or who have told me to my face that they disapprove.
And I’m a pretty sensitive person so even now those responses can sometimes rattle me a little, but it comes with the territory when you’re doing something out of the mainstream. And yes, my family and friends all know about the crossdressing and my website, with varying degrees of acceptance. I just find that keeping it all a secret makes me feel depressed and anxious so I find it’s easier to just be fairly open about it when the subject comes up.
Images courtesy of Sandra Gibson Have an amazing experience or tips you like to share on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!
KathTea Katastrophy is a cosplay, fetish and corsetry model from Malaysia. With her expertise as her corsetiere, KathTea creates numerous amazing custom made corsets and designs which look out of this world. Read on to find out more about KathTea as she talks to SimplySxy on her interests and misconceptions about cosplay and fetish modelling.
SimplySxy:Hi KathTea it’s a great pleasure to interview you on SimplySxy. Please tell us a little about yourself and where you’re from.
KathTea:I go by KathTea Katastrophy but most people know me as KathTea. I am a full-time model as well as the corsetiere for Katastrophy Korsets. Born and bred in Melaka, Malaysia.
Photography: Lem Cheng Hai @ DStudiolabs Corset: Orchid Corsetry
SimplySxy:How did your interest in fetish, cosplay and corsetry modelling begin?
KathTea:I’m only 5’2” (157cm) with a natural 28” waist, by mainstream modelling standards, I’m considered too short and fat, absurd, isn’t it? Even in Asia, the minimum height is 5’5” (165cm)! I had posted in model forums online, the only “advice” I was given is “you’re too short, you cannot model” which was incredibly disheartening.
When I was 16, I discovered a popular alternative softcore site on a TV show and was determined to become an alternative model. Soon, I started reading up on alt modelling and learned of Roswell Ivory. She told me not all alt models are heavily pierced and tattooed. A few years later, I started modelling while I was still a journalism intern and soon heard of another model named Anita De Bauch. She’s been my mentor ever since!
Both Roswell and Anita were (and still are) well-known fetish and art nude models. They were my initial inspirations and introduction in fetish modelling.
However, I personally found that a large majority of Malaysian photographers don’t seem to have as much of an interest in latexwear and I found it quite impractical to invest in them as I had little use for them on the daily. Around the same time, I read about how genuine corsetry can shape your waistline semi-permanently. So instead of being a heavily modded latex-clad alt model, I chose corsetry as a focus and I feel that it has since quite paid off. Lastly, cosplay is still relatively new to me, I had always wanted to try it but I never had the funds. Cosplay Deviants really opened the opportunity for me with their reimbursement program. I’ve only been seriously cosplaying almost 2 years ago now.
Credit: CosplayDeviants.com
SimplySxy:There is a very strong interest in cosplay Asia with many events held in various cities around the region. How often do you participate and which are your favourite characters you like to go as?
KathTea:I admit, I am more of a cosplay model than a competitive or event cosplayer. Not that the latter is bad but early on I had some sour experiences with the clique behaviour among some in the community. Without naming names, I was in a Malaysian Lolita group online and WOW, they were extremely snobbish, snooty and brand-obsessed. As a result, I was never really close with the Malaysian cosplay community.
I’ve always gone to Comic Fiesta with my sister (DragonReine Art) just as a hobbyist. I cosplayed Deadpool in 2013 and Alice Lidell Late But Lucky in 2014 (Day 1), it’s a shame neither of these two were recognized and as a result were largely ignored. The only times I didn’t get ignored were in 2012 and 2014 (Day 2) as Bettie Page and Misa Amane respectively.
This year, things will be a bit different. From mutual friend to mutual friend, I got to know some much nicer cosplayers in the community and for the first time ever, I will be going to Nijikai! It’s a yaoi/yuri con so this will be quite a change compared to Comic Fiesta.
SimplySxy:You have your own corset line called Katastrophy Korsets. Where do you get your inspiration from to create such intricate and beautiful designs?
KathTea:Actually, a majority of the corsets you see displayed were custom made-to-order to my clients’ specifications. I guess I am lucky that a my clients and I have equally kooky and quirky tastes as myself. This year I am launching my ready-to-wear line and would finally be able to show off some samples I have been planning to make in a while. If there’s anything I’d like to claim as a trademark or specialty, it’s my use of fabric dyes and bent flat steels.
Photography: DreamPhotographie Corset: Sparklewren Pasties and neck corset: Black Filigree Couture
SimplySxy:What are some corsets you can recommend for those interested to tight lace?
KathTea:My ready-to-wear waspies and waist cinchers are the most affordable corsets in my collection. They’re cut pretty low under the bust and higher at the hip, thus, would suit beginners who want a little more room for movement. Those who require a bit of lower tummy control with flexibility of the previous two, they can opt for the longline cincher instead. Intermediate corset wearers can go for either the high hip, basic or longline underbusts, all 3 styles come right under the bust. The high hip allows for less restriction in the lower body while the longline has a fuller coverage, tummy and all. The basic underbust is the midpoint between these two styles.
The materials I use in my corsetry include steel boning and a cotton drill or coutil strength layer.
People interested in tight lacing should be very wary of unscrupulous brands claiming to be corsets. Most of the time those that cost under $45 are bustiers, basques or fajas, all of which are made of weak materials and plastic bones. There are also some “budget brands” that may use steel bones and cotton drill but have little to no shape whatsover. There are many more others that use either stolen designs or patterning (shaping) belonging to other brands or independent businesses.
Tightlacing is something I find that it’s very crucial to do as much research as you can on the subject as possible. You wouldn’t stretch your lobes with acrylic nor get a tattoo from a scratcher, so why should you waste your money on corset without knowing their background beforehand?
SimplySxy:How will you describe your fashion style?
KathTea: I’d like to say it’s “No Hair, Don’t Care” because I am actually incredibly low maintenance. I am also androgynous, which is funny because people think I “identify” as andro but that’s not it, I AM androgynous and I can’t really change that. I like to wear camouflage, leopard print, yellow and gold. But most of the time I wear whatever is comfortable and available. I have a small collection of genuine vintage dresses from VintageBiriBiri as well as some comfy leggings from various brands. Sometimes I go out in a tee and cargo pants, then get mistaken as a guy! Oh and I almost always wear this beret that I’ve owned since I was 13. That way, I stop freaking people out with my fabulously bald head.
Photography: Nezire MUA: T-Dimensions
SimplySxy:What are some of the common misconceptions people have about fetish and cosplay modelling?
KathTea:Let’s see where to start! As a fetish model, people either think I am promiscuous, slutty or willing to pander to others. The former is quite amusing because I’ve only been in 3 relationships in my lifetime and most of the time I stay at home, so I hardly meet anyone. Elaborating the latter, they expect me to do head shaving videos for free. Or shave my armpits because it’s “gross”. Or shave my eyebrows!
As for Cosplay modelling, I guess some people think I am rich when in reality the site I work for reimburses me. Another issue is the snooty bunch who believes “you’re only cosplaying if you make your own cosplay”. I believe ANYONE can cosplay, you don’t need to craft your own things to have fun with dress-up! Some people take it way too seriously.
SimplySxy:Share with us 3 fun facts about yourself!
KathTea: I collect troll messages to post on my wall. I have a 5.5mm (3 gauge) septum. And I am an aspiring faux drag queen.
SimplySxy:Thank you for the interview KathTea. One last question, how do you define “sexy”?
KathTea: Sexy is whatever you want it to be. 😉 You can have implants or a small chest, you can be tall or short, tattooed or not, you’re sexy if you say you are.
SimplySxy:Can you describe what it’s like for you physically and what thoughts run through your mind as you’re being bound and gagged?
Sandra: For me, the element of bondage that turns me on the most is the feeling of being out of control or in a situation that’s potentially dangerous, or where I may be used sexually, or worse. But of course it’s all grounded in fantasy. I don’t really want to put myself in a truly dangerous situation or end up traumatized or injured, and of course if I do anything sexual in a bondage scene, my partner and I have probably gone over our limits and expectations beforehand and ideally I’m playing with someone I feel I can trust (of course, there have been exceptions).
So the thing about bondage, or the type of bondage I enjoy, is that it’s a kind of role playing, although there are ways to play that are edgier than others. I’ve certainly done a few play scenes aside from picture-taking where I later thought to myself, well, that could have gone really badly. But I’ve been very lucky in that I’ve never gotten into a scene where I felt like I was in real danger, and for the most part I’m very cautious and selective about who I’ll do this stuff with.
SimplySxy:There are a variety of binding, rigging and gag materials to choose from, such as nylon, leather restraints, leg-irons, duct tape, ball gag, duct tape. Which are your favourites?
Sandra: My favorite is probably duct tape, especially for duct tape gags that are wrapped across the lips and cheeks and encircling the back of the head, and with a big pair of panties shoved in the mouth first. This makes for a very effective and tight gag. That feeling of being “gagged” and of having your mouth stuffed and sealed up is probably the main thing that sends me over the edge. Being taped up and restrained with duct tape is great too, although obviously I use rope the most on my website, as that’s the default bondage material that most of us love. Leather gear is also great and can give more of a fetishy look.
SimplySxy:You look stunning in the pictures. Apart from the elaborate outfits and great set, what are the preparations required before each photo shoot session?
Sandra: Thank you so much. Taking the photos has definitely become a more involved process over the years. When I started out, I’d just get ready and kind of wing it and improvise as we went alone. Now I usually try to come up with a plan of what we’re going to shoot, quite often taking suggestions from what the model likes if I’m going to be working as the photographer. But there’s usually about a full day of preparation before most shoots, getting things ready, deciding on the outfits and coming up with some ideas. And quite often the idea for a shoot will be changed or even scrapped completely once we get going. A lot of it is a process and depends on who’s involved, what they’re into, how much they’re turned on by bondage, how intense they like it, and so on. I wish I could streamline things and make the process go faster but as the years pass it seems to be going in the other direction.
SimplySxy:Thank you for taking your time out Sandra and before we end off, what is your definition of “sexy”?
Sandra: Thank you again for having me, this has been fun! Well, I’d say for me “sexy” is that feeling of being weak in the knees when you realize you’ve gotten yourself into a situation a little over your head. And it usually involves a tight skirt, a tailored blouse (with a hint of spandex), five inch heels, stockings and a roll of duct tape.
Images courtesy of Sandra Gibson Have an amazing experience or tips you like to share on SimplySxy?
Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!
Thanks so much for having me here. Well, yes, I’m a crossdresser and a huge bondage fetishist. For me, the two interests have always been there for as long as I can remember. For me, crossdressing and bondage are primarily sexual fetishes. They turn me on. And the style of bondage that I prefer the most is damsel in distress bondage, which as the name suggests has an element of danger or peril in it, though quite often it can be done in a rather tongue in cheek manner. The things that turned me on as a boy were detective movies and TV shows where a smartly-dressed woman ended up tied up and gagged. I always identified with the damsel and wanted to be her. I didn’t want to see her actually being hurt or raped or anything really bad happening to her, but the element of danger and the sense that she was in a situation where she might be forced and used or come to a bad end was terribly exciting. Sometimes I would see these shows as a child and pray that none of my family there in the den with me could pick up on how fascinated I was by these images on TV.
So from an early age, I was intrigued by and attracted to women’s clothes. I didn’t have a sister, but like many crossdressers, when I was a teenager I would sometimes try on my mother’s clothes when I could get away with it and remember it being a huge thrill. I know it sounds, well, I hate to use the word creepy, but yes, some people would see it that way. But believe me, if you’re a “CD” you have to find the clothes somewhere when you’re starting out, and if the opportunity arises you’re probably going to act on it, especially at that age when all the hormones are racing.
Many CDs will deny that there’s a sexual component to their dressing and for some of them I think that’s true, that it touches something else in them, or perhaps they have a stronger feeling of being transgender or gender dysphoric, (basically deeply dissatisfied or uncomfortable with one’s “assigned at birth” gender). But for me it definitely has its roots in fetishism. I think that’s why I now try to take sexy pictures, because I’ve spent a lot of time looking at these kinds of fetish images and imagining myself in the role of the damsel in distress.
As for gender, yes, I’ve certainly had those thoughts wishing I’d been born female, especially when I was younger. I can’t say that I’ve ever been thrilled to be male, but at the same time it hasn’t tormented me in the way that a trans person likely experiences. But so much of my dressing started out as a sexual thing so it’s pretty clear to me that I’m a crossdresser or to use the clinical term, a fetishistic transvestite. There is that whole other question – do crossdressers fall on the trans continuum? Some days I’d say yes, some days no. And in the trans community, where there is very little agreement about much of anything, you can safely say that opinions vary. One thing I remind myself though whenever I wish I’d been born female is that females for the most part are not fetishists – it’s pretty much a male game, although there certainly are women who are into bondage, some heavily into it. But they’re not into the clothes the way that a CD or transvestite is. So obviously if I’d been born female, this whole website thing most likely wouldn’t be happening for me.
As for the clothes themselves, I’ve always been drawn more to clothes that are “dressy”: skirts and blouses, stockings and high heels, and my favorite look is probably the sexy secretary or sexy librarian. I know these are clichés and some might argue that I’m just objectifying and fetishizing women, but that’s what happens with desire. We get focused on something that turns us on and there’s no arguing with it as to whether it’s objectifying or not, or politically correct. And well, I love to be objectified myself. I find it very sexy if I know someone likes my pictures enough to get off to them. That’s really my goal. And some of my favorite fan mail is to hear from guys who say, “You know, I’m a straight guy who’s never had any interest at all in crossdressers but I get really turned on looking at your pictures.” That’s just the best!
Image courtesy of Sandra Gibson Have an amazing experience or tips you like to share on SimplySxy?
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With male chastity becoming ever more popular either as a lifestyle or occasional kink, prostate milking of males is also ever-increasingly referred to, discussed and probably practised. Often in chastity circles, people just talk about milking the prostate without considering how to carry out the procedure to gain the desired effect. If you’re currently milking your chaste male, the chances are that he’s probably getting a lot more pleasure from milking than you think.I’ll leave the debate about whether it is actually necessary to milk a chaste male to other forums and concentrate instead on how you can increase and decrease the amount of pleasure he will experience from it. After all, even if it is not necessary to drain the prostate regularly, the procedure still gives benefits to both the male and his keyholder.
If you aren’t familiar with the basic technique and principles of prostate milking, do a quick Google Search now and read one of the many available guides to acquaint yourself with the male anatomy involved and safety precautions. I have written this guide from personal experience to give keyholders, an insight into how it’s possible to vary the pleasure levels from a shakingly earth-shattering orgasm which will probably be the most intense he will experience, to a hugely frustrating anti-climax without any orgasmic contractions and almost no pleasure at all for the male in question. I guess the latter is the kind that keyholders will be most interested in and of course my apologies to those poor men who are currently enjoying their milkings and are about to submit to an even greater depth of control by their keyholders. It is actually quite an art to give a pleasureless milking which is why I’m fairly sure that the chances are that your male is currently enjoying an orgasm every time you milk him.
First off, it’s almost impossible to milk a man’s prostate without him getting *some* pleasure from the pressure on the prostate. Particularly cruel mistresses advocate the use of an ice pack or chilli to reduce/remove this pleasure. I haven’t experienced either so I can’t comment. However, when my prostate is being gently massaged, I can feel sensations right to the end of my penis, it’s a delicious feeling but is somehow an empty pleasure which only feels truly satisfying when it’s accompanied by stimulation of the head of the penis and/or testicles. The beauty of prostate milking is that even though it’s a pleasurable feeling for the male who is being milked, if done carefully you can leave it just as an empty pleasure which leaves the male wanting more but unable to get satisfaction because he hasn’t got any prostate fluid left and therefore is unable to orgasm.
I’ll give you a guide on three main different types of milking experience:
Maximum Pleasure
Ruined Orgasm Milking
Minimum Pleasure
The lines between each are of course blurred so infinite variation is possible once you know what you’re doing.
I’m writing this from personal experience—I’m regularly milked for pleasure and tease/denial by my partner and through trial and error (and with my help!) she has learnt a lot of the subtleties to be able to vary my pleasure levels according to her whim. I love it. Please bear in mind that these are my own observations and there might be some variation between different males but the principles are probably true for all. The biggest variation I suspect will be between those who have been circumcised and those (like me) who have not.
There are two main objects you can use to milk a man—either your fingers or with a purpose-built prostate massager like the Aneros. If you’re looking to follow the instructions below, I’d advise you to purchase some Nitrile gloves and lube and use one or two fingers so that you can feel what the stimulation is doing to your subject’s prostate and surrounding area. You will feel things begin to contract the closer he gets to orgasm. Once you have learnt the signs and no longer have to rely on internal feel, you can then probably use a prostate massager to get the same effect.
There are also two main ways that you can position your man: on his back, or in a kneeling position. The key thing is that you make sure that you are in complete control of his penis—you don’t want it to be able to touch anything because if you control the amount of stimulation here, you control his pleasure levels. Some kind of restraint to hold the arms and hands well out of the way is also probably a good idea, I can heartily recommend a pair of leather mitts from Top to Bottom Leathers: very comfortable and highly effective. Generally, my partner and I prefer the kneeling position with my legs apart and a stack of four pillows supporting my chest. My arms are fastened behind me and I’m usually blindfolded, occasionally gagged. She can then sit between my legs and has full access to all the parts of me that she needs. This works best because with me in this position, she is in total control and also if she decides to give me a pleasureless milking without any contractions, the fluids simply drain out by gravity and be caught if desired.
The final thing to bear in mind in this introduction is that apparently some males can be milked without any stimulation of the penis/testicles. This is great if you want to milk a chaste male without removing his chastity device. From my personal experience, I know that I cannot be milked like this and need at least some stimulation, either to the penis or testicles or a set of clover clamps to the nipples also does the job, but beware—the clamps can give enough stimulation for an orgasm so use them with care. Lastly, not all stimulation to the penis is equally pleasurable, if you want to expel pre-cum during the procedure (or just want to tease him) then gripping the penis at the base and sliding your hand upwards (even over the glans) will almost certainly not result in an orgasm or even very much increased pleasure. However, moving your hand in the opposite direction most certainly will!
1. Maximum Pleasure: How to Give Your Man an Earth-Shattering Orgasm.
Put on a Nitrile glove and lube thoroughly. Insert one or two fingers from your dominant hand and begin to gently massage the prostate and surrounding area. Ask your man what feels best. The one thing that your male will be wanting more than ANYTHING else in the world while you’re stimulating his prostate is for you to hold his penis and gently pull his foreskin up and down over the glans. Alternate between a few seconds of this and also stimulating his scrotum and testicles. There are many ways of giving him pleasure by touching his ball sack—my favourite is when my partner fans out her fingers and gently scratches the backs of her fingernails up and down it. A firm massaging of the testicles, combined with gentle tugging and squeezing also feels very good. Play with different levels of teasing and intensity while continuing slow-ish rhythmical stimulation of the prostate. Nipple clamps are an optional extra, too. After a while, you’ll feel as the prostate and surrounding area begin to get harder and contract. As the contractions of orgasm begin (or just before once you’ve learnt the signs!) keep massaging gently and concentrate your other hand on his penis—a vigorous up and down movement will give him maximum pleasure. Continue stimulation until contractions cease and withdraw your finger(s). Don’t be surprised if he doesn’t last too long. I can manage only a few minutes of this type of stimulation (usually less than 5, depending on how I’m teased and stimulated). You can finish prostate stimulation as soon as orgasmic contractions subside. Contrary to common belief, milking does not produce any more fluid than any other type of orgasm, but I’m willing to bet that the description above will be the nicest way for your man to produce it!
2. How to Give a Ruined Orgasm Milking.
Follow the instructions above, to massage the prostate and stimulate the penis/scrotum/testicles. It’s probably best to restrain your male’s arms/hands so that you can be sure you have full control. What you want to do is stimulate up to the point or orgasm with as much teasing as you like and make him think that he’s about to have an orgasm like the one described above. However, as soon as you sense that he’s about to orgasm (believe me, you’ll know after you’ve done it a few times!) remove all stimulation except the gentle massaging of the prostate. He will ejaculate with orgasmic contractions but it will be a very unsatisfying orgasm. Remember from above—as he is about to ejaculate, the thing he wants most in the world is stimulation to the head of the penis so make sure that nothing is touching it and that he is unable to wriggle into a position where he can hump something—the desire for stimulation is very strong at the moment of orgasm! If you want to expel as much fluid as possible, after the contractions have finished, grasp the base of the penis and slide your hand up towards the glans to force it out.
3. Minimum Pleasure: How to Milk a Male and Give as Little Pleasure as Possible.
This is the most difficult technique to master but can have a strong psychological effect on your male. If you ensure that your male doesn’t experience any orgasmic contractions at the end of milking then he’ll receive almost no pleasure from the procedure. When I’m being milked, the ‘hollow pleasure’ of prostate stimulation is almost psychologically like a promise of a lot more pleasure to come (if you’ll pardon the pun!), it is utterly delicious in an orgasm denial scenario to be denied any pleasure but to have my prostate drained anyway, thus preventing any chance or orgasm in the next while (probably about 6 hours minimum for me).
Follow the instructions above but keep the stimulation of penis/scrotum/testicles to a minimum (or avoid this completely if your male is able to be milked with no extra stimulation—trial and error will tell you). If you need to give some stimulation, then see if you can avoid touching the penis and instead concentrate in massaging/squeezing/tugging the testicles. Another very good tease is to grip his penis behind the glans and gently pull back, to simulate the feeling of it being pushed in during intercourse—a small amount of this is probably adequate, and be careful because it is almost definitely enough to cause an orgasm if you do it at the critical moment.
Keep the gentle rhythmic massaging going and look out for the point where you can feel the prostate and surrounding area contracting. At this point, reduce the massaging and prepare to stop just at the point where orgasmic contractions are about to start. In my experience there are two stages of contraction in the male orgasm—the prostate goes hard and contracts to initiate ejaculation and then the pleasurable orgasmic contractions (perhaps six or seven of them) follow. What you’re aiming to do is keep stimulation going up to the point that the initial (less pleasurable) prostate contraction is about to start, then cease prostate stimulation for a few seconds (5 or so) and then restart gentle milking to clear the fluids out of the prostate but all the time keeping stimulation below the threshold for orgasmic contractions. It’s tricky to do the first time but if you pause milking before orgasm begins you should be OK.
Depending on the male and how much extra stimulation you give him, this procedure will take anything between 10 and 40 minutes. If it’s taking a while then verbal reassurance that this is OK will probably put your man’s mind at ease, he may have been worrying that he’s not performing and find it a massive turn on that you’re spending this time to milk him in such a subtle and devilish way.
I hope that you find the above information of use and that your relationship benefits from it. If you were to ask me which of the three techniques feels best, that would be a very difficult question to answer. Obviously the first feels intensely pleasurable, however the relationship between pleasure and frustration is a very complicated one for a chastity enthusiast. Each scenario is very pleasurable, you either get a huge orgasm or indefinite frustration which is of course what the chaste male really craves. I personally recieve a ruined orgasm milking most often, which I both love and hate, and very, very rarely receive the full-on orgasm. The third technique is particularly cruel, especially after a long period of tease and denial (both in terms of the single session and an extended time period), but it is probably the scenario that I crave the most, and that’s the mysterious paradox that is male chastity!
This article has been republished with permission from John. Please visit his website to view the original post and more related articles.
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I think the hardest part of our dynamic for me has been really understanding that Julia isn’t just acting submissive, she is submissive. She really does need my loving guidance and leadership in our marriage. And that is really the key: it’s within the context of our marriage. She could handle her life just fine without me.
And yet, she submits to me as her HoH. I have the final say on all family decisions. Although she handles paying the bills, major financial decisions are mine. I set the rules for her, and I expect them to be followed. It’s that we agree on this arrangement that makes this thing we do work for us.
I’ve become fascinated by ttwd, and the effect it’s had on my marriage with Julia, and also the effect it has had on me as a person. Looking back, it seems clear to me that my new confidence in my own abilities and strength have allowed me to make the best decisions I could have made in a very tough year. The validation? I just got a raise! (And a week later “let go”.)
Spanking your wife affirms your strength and dominance and gives you confidence that helps you in every area of your life.
I know Julia has benefited as well. She started running in the last year, and has kept her commitment through rain, shine, backaches, and family visits. Today, I agreed to implement a new rule: if she misses a day of running, regardless of the reason, I’ll give her 7 swats with her least favorite implement, the wooden paddle. On the surface of it, that sounds pretty caveman-ey on my part. But the truth is that Julia wants it that way, so that having the threat of swats hanging over her head will “help get back into running again” after a break.
Spanking your wife helps her build confidence and character, and motivation to complete tasks.
Sometimes, our dynamic requires that I discipline Julia for breaking one of our rules. Our rules represent the contract on which we’ve developed and based our trust. Violations of that trust cause hurt feelings through unmet expectations. To clear the air, I spank Julia to discipline her. I lecture her during the spanking about how important the rule is, and how I need to be able to trust her to follow the rule. I ask her if she agrees, and we talk if necessary. But by the end of the spanking, the issue is resolved and doesn’t bother us anymore.
Is it somewhat hypocritical for the man to spank the wife for an infraction, and get to skate by blamelessly when he screws the pooch? Yep. You don’t want to be that guy, trust me. Nothing feels worse than the reproach I’ve seen in Julia’s eyes, when I’ve let her down. But I’m the man. There’s nothing I can do except admit when I’m wrong, apologize when it’s necessary, and return to running my household.
Spanking your wife provides her discipline when she breaks the rules and enforces your authority as head of the household.
I’m also fascinated by the evolution of human behavior. Julia and I are currently watching the series Mad Men on Netflix. The first season is set in 1960, and every episode crackles with the tension between men and women. The men are men, and their attitudes are reflected in the jokes they tell: “I got a phone call at the bar saying my wife gave birth, and now I gotta pay for college!” Men pride themselves on being strong, and weaker men are preyed on, even as they fantasize out loud about being more manly themselves.
Fifty years later, it feels like evolution. In many ways, we just don’t think the way we did. Roles between men and women have changed as a result of the feminism movement, which has established the basic truth that women deserve equal rights. ‘Cause they’re, you know, people. Like men. The article that Julia posted sounds funny today, but the guy that said that men would be sorry when they stopped spanking their wives was right: men voluntarily gave up the right to lead their households. My generation wasn’t taught how to have a relationship with a woman, because of the rapid social changes that were going on in the 1970’s. I think men conceded their authority in relationships, and the result has been broken families.
Don’t get me wrong: I don’t think a ttwd/spanking relationship is right for everyone. It requires consent, consistency, trust, and mutual agreement between both parties. But I believe that the taken in hand movement is almost an unconscious human expression of an evolutionary trait that we’re not ready to leave behind.
Spanking your wife could be a human trait that shouldn’t be left behind, at least for people who need and thrive on it.
What do you think about why you should spank your wife? Or as a wife, why you should be spanked? 😉
This article and all associated images within the article have been republished with permission from Julia.
Please visit her website to view the original post and more.
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“The person in control during a scene or in play, but may or may not be a dominant”
Being a top is being part of the world of BDSM, having a fetish, being turned on by certain things that the main stream community or as some say being vanilla, would class as weird or perverted. Logically, I so pose it is a path that has deviated from the mainstream, in other words perverted.
A top is a part of a group classed as dominants. They can be both male and female. Daddy, dom, master, mistress, domme, stone and sadist are all part in varying degrees of the same group. This group is part of another group, but not always if you take the definition strictly, called fetishist—one who gains sexual excitement through a fetish. In extreme cases, one may be unable to attain sexual gratification without the presence of the object (or at least fantasizing about it).
As for me, I am a fetishist for sure, because it does excite me. Although i am quite happy having sex without it, I am also a plain and simple top and as the definition above states that i am not as dominant as others. I have no real desire to be a master or a daddy; I don’t want to own a slave or be in a d/s relationship. But what I do like are ladies with a submissive side. Ladies who like to be spanked and caned and everything in between and that can be in the bedroom or just general play with people who enjoy being punished by others.
But where did it all start, where did the obsession and cravings come from?
As far as i can recollect, it was summer and the start of a new decade; the 1970’s. I was 8 maybe 10 and playing in the garden. The kids next door were older by at least 5 years and although I had no thoughts of girls then, I remember the daughter to be very slim and attractive. There was a bit of an argument going on and as I listened, the girl answered back quite loud to her father. I have no memory of what the argument was about or how long it lasted but one sentence has stayed with me to this day.
“You’re not too old to go over my knee young lady.”
Even now after 40 years, I can remember the words clearly and wondered if that was the catalyst for my long obsession with a certain part of the lovely female form and my own harsh hand. To an extent it was but I now understand that it did not suddenly turn me into a spanker, it has always been in me, it is part of me. However, over the years, i have not hurt anyone (if you understand what I mean) and looking back i have enjoyed every last minute because:
I AM SIMPLY WIRED THAT WAY.
BOB
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ped spanking their wives was right: men voluntarily gave up the right to lead their households. My generation wasn’t taught how to have a relationship with a woman, because of the rapid social changes that were going on in the 1970’s. I think men conceded their authority in relationships, and the result has been broken families.
