Tag: Dominatrix

  • How To Explore Virtual or Remote Domination

    How To Explore Virtual or Remote Domination

    Kink is a massive part of my life, both professionally and personally. I believe that folks come to kink for all sorts of reasons, from satisfying deep primal urges, to healing, to spicing things up in the bedroom.  All are valid ways of exploring connection, validation, and catharsis.  

    How My Interest In Kink Started

    Probably when I was kidnapping and tying up my Barbies.  This has been a part of my life as far back as I can remember, even though I may not have always had the opportunity to express it.

    My Domme Style

    My style is playful.  I’m quite a chameleon, so I can deliver anything from severe to nurturing, but there is always an element of playfulness.  I laugh and smile, no matter what the vibe.  It’s because I’m enjoying myself, and that’s how I express it.

    Transition To Virtual Domination Due To Covid

    It was as natural as could be, despite the circumstances.  I think the way I Dominate translates fairly well to providing online services.  I’m perfectly fine with monologuing to a camera for an hour.  And I believe I have a knack for making people feel comfortable, even if it’s through a computer.  It’s certainly a lot more work.  You have to be on your phone constantly. 

    Luckily, I’m very good at online marketing, consistency, and branding, which worked to my advantage.  Difficulties for me ended setting up boundaries surrounding how much I work.  It’s very easy for me to never stop working, especially so if I’m working from home.

    The other difficulty is that many kinks don’t translate super well to video sessions.  It was a learning curve to find the ones that really work well. 

    A Typical Virtual Domination Session

    Virtual Domination allows you to keep in touch more often, so it’s actually advantangeous, I find, to making deep and long lasting connections.  For my regulars, we keep in touch throughout the week via text (I use Niteflirt), with weekly sessions or content requests.  Each sub is different, but I like to start my sessions with a bit of catching up and relaxing into each other. 

    I ask them to show me what implements/toys they have on-hand.  The majority of the session, just like in-person, includes whatever kinks they would like to act out.  Because I can’t touch them, what this looks like, is me telling them what to do to themselves.  And then I also leave some time at the end to decompress and chat about the scene.  I always ask what they are going to do when we hang up the call for aftercare.

    Recommended Sessions For Virtual Domination

    It really depends.  Sometimes it just doesn’t feel the same when you’re doing it to yourself, even if a Dominatrix is ordering you to do it.  Some folks are simply not into topping while submitting.  Also, virtual sessions depend on what equipment/implements/toys/wardrobe the client has available to them.  Sometimes you end up ordering to fuck themselves with a margarine covered banana, because there’s literally nothing else around.  Not that you can’t do a session without implements, but for some kinks it’s more essential than others.

    Impact play, or other pain play can be really great for some folks, but not the best for others.  Asking people to deliever pain to themselves can sometimes be tricky territory.  Keep checking in, and really encourage them to listen, and stay focussed.  Just make sure that the client is somewhat experienced with using the item.  Even with your supervision, they can end up hurting themselves by doing something incorrectly.  This could be using a hairbrush for spanking, clothespins zippers, nipple clamps, CBT, wax, ice, stress positions, and more.

    Pegging or strap-on play is usually a good go-to.  Most people are familiar with fucking themselves with a dildo.  This could mean orally, vaginally, or anally.  A suction cup is helpful.  From the other side, the Dom(me) can wear a strap-on to give them the visual.

    Humiliation or any other verbal kinks works well, because touching isn’t necessarily required to make the kink feel “real”.  Your dirty talk skills will really shine in a virtual setting.

    Tease and denial is also a fun one, especially if they have a vibrator on hand, extra points if it has bluetooth technology so that you can operate it.  E-stim similarly so.  Count downs are a common thing in virtual sessions.

    Sissification, feminization, bimbofication, dollification all work fairly well virtually, just as long as the client has some items to dress up into.  Even if they don’t, the language surrounding these kinks can still be very salient.

    Gagging can be useful for parts of the session, but it also takes away one of the ways to connect with each other, which is not always conducive, since you already have touch taken away.  But, making people talk through gags and drool on themselves is always fun.  Again, make sure that this is done safely, since you are not there in-person to help them if they start choking.

    Fluid play can be done too, just as long as they’re into being ordered to consume their own fluids.


    Lady Pim – A Professional Dominatrix and kink educator, working out of The Ritual Chamber in Toronto. She takes in-person sessions (currently on hiatus due to Covid-19), sells custom content, offers remote/virtual sessions, teaches on a variety of kinky topics, and conducts one-on-one kink consultations.   She is also the host of the multiple award winning Bed Post Podcast, a sex/sexuality show which features interviews of sex workers, sex educators, and other sexy people.  

    Follow Lady Pim on

    Twitter: @theladypim1

    Instagram: @theladypim

    Website: https://theritualchamber.ca/lady-pim


    Images courtesy of Lady Pim

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  • How To Explore Pegging With A Dominatrix

    How To Explore Pegging With A Dominatrix

    I first started having kinky fantasies when I was a very young girl. At first, I was very guilty and thought I was weird because back then, none of my friends talk or share about such things. It was only much later and in recent times that I discovered that there were others who were kinky and there was even a community where people congregated.

    That made me feel a lot better about myself and excited to know that there were actually others into what I enjoyed. This meant that I was able to hang out in a space with like minded people and truly be myself and what I am, instead of always having to skirt around my kinks with vanilla friends.

    What I Love About Pegging

    Pegging is essentially anal sex reversed – instead of a male penis in a woman’s ass, the woman wears a strap-on and fucks the male’s ass. I’ve always been fascinated with the power exchange aspect of D/s. In the same way, pegging is a means for me to induce power exchange when traditional gender roles during sex are reversed.

    The act of penetrating a man is not only fun but mentally arousing for me – making me feel powerful, strong and pushes me into a very dominant headspace. Not to mention, all that hip thrusting doubles up as a real good cardio workout!

    Reasons Subs Enjoy Being Pegged

    Most subs who come to me for pegging want to experience submission by having their most vulnerable and private areas violated. Some enjoy being emasculated through anal sex and also request to incorporate this with some form of sissy play.

    Others are more experienced and have already embarked on their own anal exploration and just want their male G-spot to be stimulated. I must say though, it is exceptionally enjoyable when subs come to me knowing that I love pegging and they want to please me by offering their holes to me.

    My Domination Style

    Being safe, sane and consensual is what all my clients can expect from me. My style of domination is sensual yet firm – think of that sexy colleague that caught your eye at the office pantry, who turns out to be the no-nonsense manager on your team. As the person in charge, I take the effort to do my own research about the kink and find my own practice before I involve my subs.

    I believe that communication is key to any successful session –  I always engage potential subs before any session, find out if they have prior anal experience and structure an appropriate scene tailored for the sub to explore pegging based on their context. For example, if a sub were to tell me that they have not tried any anal play before, I would recommend basic anal training before jumping into a full on pegging session.

    What To Expect In My Pegging Sessions

    Well, just like any good sexual encounter, my typical pegging session starts with building up sexual tension between me and my sub. It could be anything from dirty talk to tease and denial – getting the sub aroused and relaxed is rather key to making penetration enjoyable and easier later in the session.

    I personally use the strap-on harness from SpareParts – it is super comfortable, adjustable and looks super sick. The harness can accommodate a variety of dildos, giving me the versatility to meet my client’s needs. Unless you’re a size queen, I always start with my smallest dildo and am very generous with lube! So, don’t worry, I’m not going to tear you a new asshole on our first date. 😉

    Pegging Tips For First Timers

    As with trying anything new, go in with an open mind. You might like it or you might hate it, but it is always important to try, especially with someone who knows what they are doing. Besides reading up, I would recommend all aspiring clients to also try and explore your own body before hand – stick a finger or a small plug up your ass first and see how that feels for you.

    Cleaning out before the session can also help make the entire process more enjoyable for all parties – less fear or shame from any potential mess or bad smells. End of the day, if you’ve been toying with the idea of getting pegged, feel free to drop me a message and I will be more than happy to take you down this delicious rabbit hole.


    Mistress Haze – A tall and athletic dominatrix based in Singapore that is passionate about creating fun and exciting scenes. She enjoys turning confident and assertive men into soft putty, bending them to her sensually deviant brand of kink. 

    Follow Mistress Haze on

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/_mistresshaze

    Website: http://www.mistresshaze.com/


    Article images courtesy of Mistress Haze

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  • How To Explore Smothering & Breath Play

    How To Explore Smothering & Breath Play

    I have always had a want to understand people’s deepest darkest desires. At first, this led me to read philosophy, and later to BDSM. There is a combination of curiosity, trust and connection that makes exploring kink the most intellectually and physically exciting parts of my day. 

    What Is Smothering & Breath Play?

    Smothering and breath play are extremely intimate, you’re literally trusting your life force with me. It’s for this reason that you should only engage in these activities with trained individuals, and never push it too far.

    Breath play can be quite dangerous and your practitioner needs to be completely in control and monitoring your body language and pre-arranged mercy signals at all times when it comes to heavy bondage breath play scenarios. 

    However there are also lighter smothering scenarios that can be a lot of fun, in this case I like to use my body. I have been gifted with large natural breasts and an ample bottom that is ideal for queening (sitting on your subs face) or breast smothering (pushing my subs face between my breasts).

    Many subs are attracted to these elements of my body when they find my profile, and I like to use that to my advantage. I love creating scenarios where subs are ‘forced’ (consensually) to perform certain tasks for my amusement in order to try and win my favour, and perhaps have the honour of experiencing this total submission. 

    Reasons Subs Love This Kink

    I had a sub once say, “when you control my breath it’s the ultimate submission, it’s like you have my life in your hands” 

    For many, this form of kink is the most they could offer their mistress. Equally, I hear from some subs that this kink feels extremely comforting, particularly for those who are starved in other parts of their lives – they are being engulfed by the femme. 

    What Goes On In A Typical Session

    Well, it pairs very well with bondage and restraints for obvious reasons. Usually we’ll start with some more ‘active’ play like task domination or discipline, then I’ll tie them down for their smothering reward – if they have performed to my liking. 

    What To Expect Before Trying Smothering & Breath Play

    Again, they should do their research and make sure their playmate is engaging in safe, sane and consensual practices. They should establish a way they can communicate their boundaries with their dominant before the session begins – eg a fast tapping of the hand. They should start slow and I would advise no longer then a few seconds of complete breath deprivation – it only takes four minutes to cause permanent damage. If they are considering choking type play, they should make sure to approach the grip from the sides of the throat and avoid crushing the wind pipe from the front. 

    They should expect to feel some light headed-ness, and make sure their body is in a supportive and comfortable position. I wouldn’t advise breath play for those prone to fainting or with other pre-existing medical conditions. It is important to practice strong communication with your dominant before, during and after the session.


    Mistress Christine – A Sydney based dominatrix, she loves travelling the world and exploring every avenue of fetish when that’s possible. 

    Follow Mistress Christine on

    Email for booking sessions: mistresschristinexxx@gmail.com

    Twitter: @miss_christinex

    Instagram: @cityofladychristine


    Article images courtesy of Miss Poison Avy; featured image by Dark Indigo from Pexels

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  • How To Explore Humiliation & Face Slapping

    How To Explore Humiliation & Face Slapping

    My personal views on kink and alternative lifestyles is that everyone has kinks, which makes life more fun and interesting. Everyone should explore their kinks and do not repress it. For alternative lifestyles, I feel like it’s a beautiful thing everyone shows to be living their life to the fullest the way they want and however it makes them happy.

    Even if others perceive it as weird or out of the norm. My mother always taught me that I shouldn’t care about anyone’s opinion, especially if they don’t pay my bills. LOL

    What Constitutes Humiliation?

    Humiliation can be considered verbal or physical and it can include insulting, making a submissive do embarrassing acts like dressing in woman’s lingerie, urinating, slapping, and the list goes on.

    I love it because for me it is very empowering. I can’t just go to any man and slap him and call him a loser bitch LOL. When it’s received and given back with obedience and a “Thank you, Goddess” or “Yes Mistress“, it’s very satisfying and rewarding.

    Is Face Slapping Part Of Humiliation?

    Face slapping I feel is a preference but definitely a part of humiliation. For some, I know that they have had abuse in their lives at a young age and do not like to be hit in the face but do not mind their backsides. I have a submissive that enjoys being slapped followed by insults like bitch or loser.

    Reasons Subs Love Humiliation & Face Slapping

    The reasons I hear from Subs that enjoy humiliation or face slapping is that they enjoy it because of the feeling of helplessness and feeling below a powerful woman. Also, I see Mommy issues in play in some subs. Being degraded by a woman gives some pleasure and comfort.

    What Goes On In A Humiliation Session

    In a humiliation session, I start with a conversation that is paid to talk about their wants and needs. So everyone is on the same page and knows what to expect out of a session. 

    Safe-words and props are discussed also and how they want to be humiliated. The props commonly used can include floggers, collars, restraints like handcuffs and rope, whips, and even pee sometimes.

    What Should One Know Prior To Being Humiliated?

    For someone first getting into humiliation or face slapping, I feel that someone should do some soul searching. To see if it’s something that stimulates them in a positive way.

    I’m here to help ultimately. I have a background in psychology and working on my Bachelors. I’m not here to ruin lives or mentally damage someone. Now let’s have some FUN 🙂


    Miss Poison Avy – Massachusetts based Dominatrix. Love to humiliate and drain wallets for my entertainment. Prove your worth.

    Follow Poison Avy on

    Email for booking sessions: Misspoisonavy@gmail.com

    Twitter: @avypoison

    Instagram: @miss.poisonavy


    Images courtesy of Miss Poison Avy

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  • What To Know About Sensual Domination & Sensation Play

    What To Know About Sensual Domination & Sensation Play

    My formal training background is in somatic sex therapy, Tantra and sexual healing. I evolved my sessions to go deeper and explore the “shadow” side of sexuality. I added elements of bondage, sensory deprivation, sensation play, and the psychological aspect of kink, fantasy and role playing to my sessions. When people think of a dominatrix archetype, they think ‘mean, cold, cruel’.

    I am naturally sensual, sexy and playful but I always remain in a dominant role. Many of my students don’t identify as submissive or kinky, so part of my work is getting into their head to see what makes them tick. My work is part psychotherapist and personal trainer. Erotic embodiment starts in the mind. Being pushed out of our comfort zones is where we grow.

    What Does Sensual Domination Involve?

    Many believe “sensual domination” is a focus on pleasure instead of pain. But what if bringing someone to the edge of their pain and pushing their boundaries to submit and let go makes it pleasurable? What if being “punished” meant you had to give up control and give it to another, but at the same time knowing they would not break your boundaries and really hurt you?

    What I personally enjoy about sensual domination is pushing my students boundaries (not crossing them), giving them pain, pleasure and a thousand other feelings and sensations they’ve never experienced. After 90 minutes strapped down to my table, deprived of their senses and taking them on a sensation roller coaster, most of my students are speechless when the session is over.

    I think many experience a spiritual awakening they can’t get from talk therapy or even sex with a partner. I love being able to give them something they’ve never experienced, and it often opens the doors to new sexual explorations.

    Why Subs Enjoy This Kink

    A true submissive is someone who gets pleasure from my pleasure, so I tell them what I like and they naturally enjoy giving. I love subs that love servitude! My favorite submissive students are foot and pantyhose fetishists. I love having my feet massaged and legs stroked over my stockings. I also love role playing with ‘sissy boys’ and seeing them dressed as slutty girls.

    If it’s something that turns me on, it turns them on, so it’s not really humiliation or punishment.

    Incorporating Sensation Play Into Sensual Domination

    Before I blindfold and place my student in bondage, we talk about what they want to learn, role play or simply let go of their thoughts completely. We go over boundaries, safe words, mutual trust, etc. We do a submission ritual and I ask them to let go of control, trust me to guide them on a journey and bring them home safely. I use all types of sensation, not just floggers and paddles. When we deprive the senses (eyes and ears), other senses get heightened.

    I often use essential oil scents in the air. The touch of my nails lightly caressing their backside, then it might turn into a spank. I use metal and glass objects (cold sensations), hot stones, intense vibrators, sex toys, feathers, fur, leather, silk. Even forks and toothbrushes might be used. I think of my students’ body as my canvas, and I get to use my brushes to creatively express myself while responding to their reactions. I also enjoy adding prostate massage, dildos and strap on play (if agreed upon before the session.) Endorphins are heightened, and they begin to relax and accept they’re helpless and vulnerable.

    I think most men have the ‘happy ending’ in the front of their minds when we start the session as that’s what they associate being naked on a table with an attractive woman touching them, but that’s not anything I promise. The session is about pleasing ME, I have to remind them. The more they push for that, the more fun it is to tease and make them beg. Every session is unique, and I might free up one arm to let a student masturbate if they beg and plead, but ejaculation is never the goal of a session.

    If This Is Your First Sensual Domination Session…

    If hiring a professional dominant, don’t expect a hand job. If that’s your goal, see an erotic massage provider. Remember, you are there to serve the Goddess first. Find professionals who’ve been around a few years and have a reputation. Look at their social media accounts, read their website and blog posts. You don’t want to be tied up or mind-fucked by someone you can’t trust. Before emailing them, read their website well. I can’t stress this enough!

    If you ask questions that are clearly on her website, you’ve already shown her that you’re going to be a difficult student. Write to her as if you were trying to land your dream job position. Would you email your potential new boss, ‘U avail now for work? How much u pay?” If she has a gift wish list or a way to tip her online, do it! It shows us you’re serious and you really like to serve. Little things can go a long away in making a good or bad first impression.

    Always shower right before the session and really clean between those butt cheeks and balls with a soap and a wash cloth! If you’re coming straight from work, ask her before the session if you can use her shower (but note that time may come out of your session time.)

    If you want to any kind of ass play or prostate massage (and she offers it), I recommend a few hours before your session, cleaning out the lower part of your anal cavity with a few squirts of warm water. You can lie on the floor and use an old-school hot water bottle with a douche attachment (always use lukewarm water); or a powerful hand-held shower massager for a few seconds; or just a plastic water bottle (get into a doggie style position with your ass way up in the tub while you gently squeeze a few ounces of warm water, then let the water flow out). This is for just cleaning the lower colon.

    If you want to take a really big toy or get pegged (strap-on play), you’ll want to do a full colon clean out, which I recommend doing the night before. Even with cleaning, “shit happens” sometimes. I can’t speak for all Dommes, but I don’t shame my students if it happens (but I also don’t offer scat play or diaper fetish play, so if that’s your thing, you should let the Domme know beforehand.)

    You should expect in any kink or BDSM play, the RACK tenets: Risk Accepted Consensual Kink. Dommes and subs are in charge of speaking their own boundaries, and at any point during playtime the Domme or sub may stop or alter what they are doing by stating their safe word. After the session is over, doing ‘aftercare’- Checking in with each other, making sure their sub is in a good head space and feeling ok physically (I always remind them to drink lots of water and have a snack if feeling light-headed.)

    A ‘sub drop’ sadness sometimes happens after dropping from ‘cloud 9’ euphoria and coming back down to earth. I give some time at the end of the session if they need to talk or process their feelings. Above all, expect to be pleasantly surprised and you’ll have an amazing session!


    Mistress Marlena Maven – A sensual dominatrix, certified somatic sex educator and couples’ kink coach. She is available for online sessions worldwide as well as her studio in Portland, Oregon.

    Follow Mistress Marlena on

    Website: TheSensualDominatrix.com

    Twitter: Twitter.com/Naked_Therapist


    Images From Mistress Marlena

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  • What To Know About Small Penis Humiliation

    What To Know About Small Penis Humiliation

    My personal views towards kink and alternative lifestyles are that everyone should try it and be open minded. Stop being judgmental because at the end the day, many people practice fetish and kink and don’t even know it. It’s a major part of my life and not just the professional part, I live the lifestyle as well.

    What Small Penis Humiliation Involves

    Small penis humiliation is exactly what it sounds like. It’s the art of making fun of men with little penises. I just filmed five videos of it yesterday. I love small penis humiliation as it’s one of my favorite fetishes. There’s ways to go about humiliating them, you can compare their small penises to other objects or much larger cocks. And you can chastise them for having one. Kind of like when a kid does something wrong and you’re punishing them. There’s so many ways. I suppose you just have to be creative.

    Misconceptions About Small Penis Humiliation

    Not sure if I’ll call it a misconception, but I will say, some people wanna engage in small penis humiliation and they don’t even have a small penis.

    Well here is my favorite one, they want to engage a small penis humiliation and their feelings are hurt and they never want to talk to you again and you’re the worst person in the world etc. Literally, the fetish has the word humiliation in it.

    Favorite Small Penis Humiliation Activities

    My favorite type of small penis humiliation is comparing them to a BBC (big black cock) and a tease and denial situation. I notice a lot of my submissive’s who enjoy SPH are also into BBC play. Which is nice because then I could really connect with them and plan a larger or longer session.

    I can also turn it into a coerced bi situation, depending on my subs limits. I love tease and denial and it’s one of my top favorite fetishes. I love to brag to my SPH fans how they could never please me in ways larger penises can. It’s really fun to taunt them as if they could have me and then deny them because of their small penis. I love it most that they truly love it themselves.

    What To Know Before Getting Into SPH

    I think that subs should know before trying small penis humiliation is that this is a fetish based on being crude and making fun of their small attachment. Do not go into this fetish thinking your Mistress is going to be sweet and nice to you or baby you. Also, if you do not have a small penis then you do nap in the category of small penis humiliation. If you just wanna be humiliated for having a penis, then just say so. Well maybe I shouldn’t tell people how to enjoy getting off. If having a normal size penis and wanting to be talked down to as if it was smaller gets you off then so be it. Just when requesting your session with your Mistress, make sure you inform her so that she can properly prepare for her session with you.

    People assume it’s easy to be a Dominatrix, that you just show up and fulfil people‘s fantasies. To truly connect to your sub, it takes planning and setting up for your session. Also, if you are trying to have a session with a professional, do not contact them if you are not going to pay. Find yourself a person who lives in the lifestyle and does it for free. Read all about the professional Dominatrix you are interested in. Read their websites and rules. Do not ask a million questions that are clearly answered on their website. That will turn your Mistress off. I personally ignore individuals who do. It shows laziness, that you do not listen nor follow directions, and that you are more so interested in the pleasures for you.

    Remember to be aware of your limits and to voice them. Respect the Dommes limits as well. If she says no, than it’s a no. If you are with a lifestyle or pro Domme, please make sure you’re being safe sane and consensual.


    Dominatrix Yessi Evans – I’m the countess of Femdom. My name is Yessi Evans and I exist for you to serve me.

    Follow Yessi on

    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/Shortyblackheart

    Links: https://allmylinks.com/countessoffemdom

    Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1SO2RFMRLJ99L?ref_=wl_share

    OnlyFans:

    http://Onlyfans.com/dominatrixyessi

    https://onlyfans.com/countessoffemdom

    ManyVids: http://CountessYessiEvans.manyvids.com

    Snapchat: Www.snapchat.com/add/countessfemdom

    Twitter: Www.twitter.com/shortyblakheart

    No tours at the moment due to the Coronavirus. I plan on holding in person sessions again once things die down. I currently only service Chicago, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, and San Diego.


    Images From Dominatrix Yessi Evans

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  • How Do We Embrace Our Sexual Desires?

    How Do We Embrace Our Sexual Desires?

    The human mind is a complex, crazy, beautiful thing that can be both aware and unaware of its processes. Each one of us is designed differently. The differences between us make us unique but we are, by nature, always comparing ourselves to others. And when your sexual desires and urges don’t match up with everyone else’s, we assume that something is wrong with us. We become aware that we’re different and most of us translate that into being wrong.

    Are you actually wrong? Is there truly something wrong with being different? Right and wrong are strong feelings that we get from ideas or situations. Some of those feelings are learned and some come naturally. If the sexual desires that you have feel right, then how could that be wrong?

    I am not a psychologist, but I have been down this path and I’ve met a lot of people in my line of work who are also on this path. It takes a lot to be completely at peace with kinks or niche fetishes. Depending on how you were raised, there can be a lot of shame that comes along with these unique fantasies or any type of sexuality in general. Sexuality plays a small role in who we are as people, but it gets so much focus from ourselves and the outside world. If our sexual desires are met, we are apt to function better and be more productive in our lives. But if sexual desires are buried down inside, they start to eat away at us and almost consume us. The combination of not having our needs met and the constant fear of being judged by others is a poisonous mix. But how do you get over it?

    Since the growing ease of access to the internet in the 1990’s, people have been able to find like-minded people around the world. From hobbies, to experiences, to fetishes and kinks, the internet has given a lot of us a sense of connection and an outlet for our non-conventional desires. It allows us to see that we’re not alone in our thoughts, which makes us feel less isolated. But is that enough?

    Within the past decade, BDSM has become very popularized and normalized among the general public. A once taboo sexual outlet is now embraced by a younger generation. We’re now finding that people from all generations fantasize about the idea of some type of power exchange. More and more people no longer feel ashamed to be vocal about these kinks and desires. We can attribute this change to the book, Fifty Shades of Grey. A book that told the story of a power dynamic between a submissive female character and a dominant male character. The book sparked a conversation about a fantasy most of us were having. But unfortunately, that particular power dynamic is the only one widely accepted or even commonly known of. What happens to everyone else in the BDSM world who aren’t a submissive female and a dominant male? Or even people who have fetishes outside of the traditional umbrella of BDSM?

    Those of us who fall under these categories often feel unknown, forgotten about, or dismissed which propels the notion that what we’re into is wrong. Myself and other female dominants as well as switches have been laughed off by other people in the BDSM community. I’ve met a lot of people in the BDSM world who will size you up and dismiss you for not being “real” in some regard to the lifestyle because your kink is different from theirs. Often, these are people who themselves have been alienated for one reason or another and find power in alienating others as a form of retribution. Which is very counterproductive in a group geared toward the acceptance of outsiders.

    This dismissal paired with the rejection of “taboo” sexual fantasies from the general public leads us to feel more shame and isolation. How do we embrace our sexual desires? It helps to embrace something when we can look at it from a logical standpoint with questions. Does my fantasy hurt me? Does it hurt others? Oftentimes, we realize that our fantasies are things we would never want to happen in real life. We merely enjoy the idea of it. Especially things that involve elements of non-consent or even fatality. Some fantasies aren’t even plausible in real life like regressing back into a baby or shrinking down and being eaten by a giant woman. Yes these are real, and very common, fantasies.

    Even though we know that some things can’t happen in real life, we’re still plagued by the fear of being found out and having that information used against us. Unfortunately, this is a real concern to have for some. If someone who has no idea or understanding of a certain taboo topic, they could perceive you as being a danger to others or yourself if they discovered that you were viewing that taboo material. That could affect your real life. The element of secrecy for those people doesn’t help them come to terms with their sexual desires but it doesn’t mean that they can’t accept themselves and their fantasies.

    Some of us want our fantasies to be kept private. Some of us want to share our desires with our sexual partners. It’s not easy to share with your partner that you dream of swallowing them whole or controlling them with a magic remote that turns them into a robot. And sometimes it seems impossible to share with your partner that you’re a male who enjoys being dominated by powerful women and you do very much want that to be incorporated with roleplay in the bedroom. If the weight of holding something back is holding you down, you need to express it. You need an outlet. Maybe it’s with a partner or a professional. Maybe it’s just a video or an online forum. But you need an outlet, we all do.

    I’ve met the people who never embrace their sexual desires. They try to suppress it and it comes out in their personality and in their relationships with others. They’re miserable and angry. They try to pass the blame off onto others, but truly it is their own unresolved issues. Please don’t let yourself be that person. Embracing our differences is difficult. It doesn’t happen overnight. It takes being able to retrain the way you think and respond to the feelings that you have and that only comes from practice. It’s been years and I’m still working on fully accepting my sexual kinks and nature. It might take the world a long time to fully learn and accept the full spectrum of human sexuality, but all you can do is work on yourself.

    Take solace in the fact that you’re not alone in your desires and know that your sexuality or fantasies do not define who you are as a person. Reality you and fantasy you are not the same. One is real and one is fiction. But both must be indulged to attain balance. If you feel you cannot achieve this balance alone, seek out a professional sexual mental health specialist. Vocalizing the issues that you’re having in a safe environment is a great way to identify where you’re holding yourself back and areas where you need to improve. We all deserve sexual happiness and self acceptance. Best of luck on your personal journey.


    Goddess Valora is an American adult entertainment performer, director, and producer. She is also a professionally trained Dominatrix and a webcam performer. Valora has won awards for her work and has worked for major companies such as Kink and Playboy. She has a diverse professional entertainment background ranging from print magazines, TV show hosting, voice acting, and having her written articles and interviews published. Valora also teaches business management and marketing in workshop settings. She offers consultation services for new and current performers.

    Follow Goddess Valora on

    Social media link: @GoddessValora on Twitter

    Websites:

    GoddessValora.com for general and session bookings

    IWantGoddessValora.com for POV Femdom videos

    ValoraFetish.com for niche fetish videos

    ValoraFemdom.com for traditional BDSM female domination videos

    BoysBound.com for gay male bondage and femdom male bondage videos


    Images from Hektek Desires and Victor Devilbliss

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  • My New World Order

    My New World Order

    Am I dreaming?

    God created men from a bone. But he haven’t seen coming. Are we in a wonderful imaginary world where women dictate rules and are uncontested Goddesses? Where men are some devoted servants? Women understood how strong they are. Especially Lady Eve! Goddess Lady Eve.

    Pray for mercy!

    Welcome Femocracy!


    Three weeks have passed since I’ve been found in a trash dunk half-naked, handcuffed and hysterically laughing. The police asked me for details unable to understand why I was, me a financial counsellor, looking like some sort of homeless weirdo smelling of urine a mile around.

    Neither me. But I knew that I survived to Lady Eve’s sexual treatments. In fact, the more I thought about what happened to me, the higher my passion for her Authority grew to a point of unbearable sexual attirance. I needed her more, more and more.

    Every man dreams of being able to serve a Goddess. Is that a fetish? A subconscious anti- human evolution? But this Lady is Goddess.

    I tried to contact her to renew my servile fetish experience. Emails, phones to the office where I was working for three years. Nothing. A Dead-end. Expecting something from Her was not in her plans I guess.

    But…

    Two days ago, she granted me with a meeting in a café downtown.


    This is it! Happy to arrive well in advance for the rendezvous, I sit down at a table waiting. Five minutes, fifteen more. Half-an hour!

    Suddenly, the door opens. I hear the voices of women, but above all I hear the sound of heels that trample the floor with a firm step. I see three wonderful women coming. Two are girls who will be in their twenties, while you are in the middle. You are wonderful.

    A Goddess among the goddesses wearing a black leather coat. Below, you can see a knee-skirt and black high-heeled boots. You take off your sunglasses and look me straight in the eye. You easily spotted your prey. Without you saying anything, I jump to my feet and take you a chair to make you comfortable.

    I can finally hear your wonderful voice, “Well, don’t you offer us anything to drink?

    I immediately run to the waiter to get three coffees. I am very excited and that’s why I act like an idiot. Saying to myself, “I gave you the honour of meeting me because you owned me a lot of money since you screwed up the negotiations for this big contract with the Russians.

    What do you think you are up to it, bitch? »

    I would do anything for you, my Goddess!” I answered.

    Then you look at me smiling, “It is very easy to put it into words! Get on your knees here, in front of everyone. Thanks for the opportunity I gave you and kiss my boots!

    My man’s nature wouldn’t accept that kind of degradation in public spaces. In a secluded area or room, nice! Here? Fuck no! I resist.

    The girls stand up, taking my head down to the floor. So noisy that people turn around and look at us. Force me to kneel at your feet, begin to kiss your boots, I try to resist. Students, workers, clients in the café look at us intrigued.

    With a glance you draw the attention of your young assistants, who start to trample my hands with the heels of their sandals. I noticed that both wear open sandals, with black nail polish on the toes. Is that time to to have an erection here I thought to myself ? Fuck no! Containing my toes fetish.

    I begin to cry out in pain. You look at me angry and cover my mouth with the tip of the boot. With a Dominatrix look you tell me, “This is the least pain you will feel to pay back your dues.”

    The girls increase the pressure on my hands and I, with a tear of pain running down my face, ask for mercy. I see that you take off your coat, remaining with a beautiful black dress that pays tribute to your wonderful body. So you order me to lick the other boot, from heel to toe.

    To do this, you change the position of your legs, crossing them slowly. Hypnotized by the view, I can’t help looking up slightly to see this gesture of yours. I can’t help looking at your calves, knees, thighs…

    And what I seem to see is Heaven. I haven’t seen very well, but from the bare thigh, I haven’t been able to see your panties. I get lost in this thought.

    You notice it! But I go back to earth when your assistants change their legs and start to crush my hands with their heels harder. As I almost cry in pain, I finally convince myself to tell you that I am willing to do anything to make you happy. I tell you I will do whatever I am ordered by you and your assistants. That I’m lucky for this opportunity and I won’t miss it. That I am willing to lick your feet and sandals whenever you want.

    You say to me, “For now it can be enough.” Whoever followed the whole scene, in the café are smiling. Shame! But the sexual power of this woman is so addictive.

    So you get up, while your assistants help you put your coat back on. My hands hurt, I look at you from the bottom up like the Goddess you are, with admiration and devotion.

    If I feel like it, they will contact you on my behalf!” So you start walking to the door and leave me there on my knees.

    Instinctively, I ask, “Excuse me, Miss! But are you wearing panties?”

    You stop and your assistants seem stone. I immediately realize my huge mistake! Why did I do it, I wonder? I was just thinking it loud, I mustn’t say it. It was stronger than me. I start to despair, to be so impudent, but I don’t have the courage to say anything. A few seconds passes, but it feels like hours. Or even that time has stopped?

    You turn your head, look at me and take off your glasses. You say, with a grin on my face, “In your opinion?” So after, putting your glasses back on and go.

    «Prenez-le jusqu’à la toilette des femmes. Traitement numéro 9 pour que cette salope comprenne bien les règles».

    Your assistants take me by the arms strongly, push me straight to the back of the café, open the ladies’s room doors, unzipped my fly, start playing my cock, stroking it fast with their leathered-hand gloves.

    My God, if you exist, help me.” I hear the sound of heels outside the room, the door opens, two ladies wishing to go inside. The other assistant blocks them with a smile saying that the room will be ready in less than three minutes. I try to resist, “Do not cum! Do not cum! Do not cum.” The pleasure is so intense, my rock-hard cock is bigger that normal. This woman knows how to play with my balls, the sensitive nerves of my dick are turning blue of excitement, squeezing the head of my cock hard and gently at the same time. An experienced hand jerking the hell out of my manhood. Pre-cum glistening. Try to resist. More pre-cum. resist! Resist control! Control…

    I cum so hard with a noisy growl of unbearable shame of pleasure. The woman is pointing my dick to the clean floor. Strong jets floods it with my sperm. Then, she rubs the head of my dick on the ceramic to make sure every drops of cum is covering it.

    I lasted three minutes. They knew how long I could’ve supported the this guilty treatment. Three minutes. Hell! Not more!

    The other women take a sharpie and write:

    I’m the guy sitting at the table next to the door drinking a Cappuccino. I jerked my dick and came here on the floor. I loved it. Do you like ladies to see my cum covering your public room? Let me know.

    The two women take me out of the room, buy me a Cappuccino and force me to sit at the table.

    You must stay here. For half an hour! If you go… You don’t want to know the consequences.”

    …and I’m alone again!

    The ladies’ room door open, two women are walking to my table…


    Featured image from Shutterstock

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  • The Slave’s Suppose To Know…

    The Slave’s Suppose To Know…

    I’m here in the middle of nowhere, alone with my only friend, the Fear. That unbearable feeling of not knowing. Maybe I should had it see coming? Working for her! Only if I had never screwed up that contract!

    Now, no one can hear me except my frightening thoughts of the near so-close future consequences of my strictly forbidden love for my Lady Eve!


    Two nights and days passed. The potent stenches in the room had faded in the wind, the cold freezing air out through the open window that kept Goddess Eves bound slave shivering and suffering in silence and alone.

    All those stenches had dispersed the room but not where I had laid for two whole days, bound to a table. cemented in those horrible smells of cum and sweat and old cigarettes. My body was trembling in cold suffering. My balls has shrunken in the cold and my cock, still swollen and hurting from Goddesses abuse, was starting to turn a faint shade of purple.

    Suddenly it begins to twitch as I’m alerted by the distant sound of Goddesses’ foot steps. They get louder and louder as they echo in the room. My heart starts to race, that after two days of isolation and suffering, that I am greeted by someone.

    I hesitate at the thought if that’s worth it at the cost of Goddesses ‘extensive’ torture and abuse. It’s too late to answer myself as you finally approach and stand beside me. As harshly cold in the room as it is, you prepare considerably wearing a tight, shiny, black leather uniform and dawning a long black trench coat.

    The table I am strapped down to is level with your waist. You remove one of your black leather gloves to reveal your pale white hand. Your light skin contrasts all that black leather I think. You graze your bare fingers across my frozen and bruised skin. It hurts a little bit, but it still feels nice to feel the warmth of your soft and heavenly skin.

    You trace your fingers across all my scars from your thrashings. The scars have swelled in the cold air. All the more to display that I am owned by my Goddess. You feel the cold touch of my frozen skin. You can only imagine how much it suffered as your slave and that brings you so much pleasure and makes you grin. You remove your long leather jacket, revealing your tight black leather uniform. I bite on my lip in bashful arousal. I can’t hide how aroused my cock is. You rest your long jacket on a hanger in the corner of the room.

    Walking back towards me, you return holding a strap-on. At first sighting my body clenches, already feeling swollen, bruised and frozen stiff. Not prepared for such ownage, though instead you to attach it to my waist… strapped down already, I am unable to protest or make resistance.

    You get on top of me on the table, looking down at my frightened, submissive expression and my used restrained state. You slide your tight leather pants down bellow your thighs. I take notice at the contrast between the black leather and your exposed pale, white skin. It just makes my Goddesses body ever so more sexy and alluring.

    You lubricate the strap-on and begin to adjust your ass exactly below the black, six inch strap-on as you slowly lower your butt down on it. I can feel the base of strap-on dig into my stomach as the tip of the shaft squeezes down against your butt cheeks. Slowly you push it deeper and deeper in your butt till your ass is resting on my cold stomach.

    Soon you begin to move up and down on the strap-on at a steady but faster pace as your head rolls back and you completely ignore that I am alive. As cold as I may be and as warming it is to feel your perfect skin against my cold suffering, the base of the strap-on digging at my stomach hurts oh so much and the constant repetition of your ass cheeks smacking my frozen body and lifting back up as you ride that strap-on feels so very painful.

    You start to ride the strap-on harder. I in return, grown and grunt as you smash your cheeks up and down my waist, riding that black cock, thrusting harder and harder..

    You lift your butt up and off the springing thick strap-on and seat yourself on my chest. My chest is heaving. Breaths deep and intense from all that fucking I didn’t even have the joy to feel but nothing should make me happier than to be used by Goddess in any such way however that may please or pleasure her. After being left alone, freezing naked and strapped to a table for two days and two nights, I should be so lucky to have this.

    You do look so warm and comfortable in your black leather outfit. My eyes gaze at that long black leather coat of yours in the corner though such a well tailored and high quality piece of attire is only exclusive to a pure and dominant Goddess.

    You take notice at my gaze and see my desire. You slide that leather glove back over your hand and begin to slap my face and slap my check. Goddess slaps me relentlessly as I lay there under her and take her discipline and dominance obediently. My face is bruised black and red. One of my eyes is only half open. My look on my bruised and beaten face. You paid me no mercy, and my defeated and suffered beaten state turns you on immensely. “I need to fuck slave,” you remark, moving back down to my stomach, now positioning your pussy just above the long black strap-on as you slowly push down on it as it fits deeper and deeper in your precious cunt.

    You lay your body face down on my own. Your crotch at my waist and your breasts pressing down on my beaten face as you thrust and ram and pound your pussy against that black cock attached to my body. Whilst you ride and fuck that strap-on, you unzip the upper half of your shiny leather outfit.

    Your gorgeous, perfect, white breasts pop out and you not so gently grab me by the hair and guide my lips to meet your erect nipple. I suck my Goddesses’ wonderful nipple as you fuck that dildo attached to my waist. Still pulling me by the hair, you shift my head to suck your other nipple. I take it into my mouth and suck and submit and worship.

    You ram yourself harder down on that plastic cock. Now you hold my head in-between your breasts, pressing me against your heaving bosom as you thrust in and out of that cock. You hold my head tighter against your smothering breasts the closer you come to climax. My waist and thighs begin to feel numb as you pound in and out, fucking that dildo. You hold me so tight between your huge and perfect boobs as you thrust faster and faster and climax all over that thick black piece of plastic.

    You just lay on top of me, heaving and breathing heavily. That orgasm enveloping you whilst my waist cramps and aches. At least I get to feel Goddess’ warm whilst remaining completely naked in this freezing cold room. You un-strap the dildo from my waist, red markings remain having been buckled and strapped so tightly on my frame. You wipe the cum covered strap-on over my body to wipe it clean but you put it in my mouth and force it down my throat to suck it clean anyway.

    You make sure that plastic dick fits all the way down my throat. “You look like you are warming up a bit slut,” you remark. “You must be so thirsty and hungry…” I nod my head desperately in admittance while sucking that plastic cock clean for you.

    You pull the strap-on from out of my mouth. My breaths are heavy but then my eyes gleam at the thought of quenching my hunger. You look down at me at smirk, “Then how about a warm drink from my cunt because I need a good piss after a good fuck…

    You derive so much pleasure from the reality hitting me. I submit in subservience and obedience in my strapped down circumstance as you move nearer. My face is between your legs and then you straddle my face, your legs hang off the edge of the table.

    Now I don’t want you swallowing my urine straight away… You got that slut! If you can hold all my urine in your mouth for however long your Goddess decrees …. Then I will unstrap one of your wrists and maybe sometimes I will let you touch your cock. You got that!” I nod in obedience.

    You make sure you are positioned correctly and let out a warm stream of golden salty piss into my open mouth. I make a great effort not to swallow a single drop of your urine as my mouth begins to fill up and bloat with piss.

    I have to breath through my nose. The strong pungent scent of your urine filling up my mouth runs through my nostrils. It makes me not want to smell but it’s the only way I can stay alive and still submit to and obey your demands. You sit on my chest, thighs on either side between my face. You watch me hold that urine in my mouth, smirking at my bloated expression, struggling, tears streaming down my eyes.

    You pick up a cigar from the pack that rested on the table. Lighting it with a wooden match, you inhale the tar and smoke and blow it in my face… My eyes tear up more and now red and stinging.

    When I finish this expensive Cuban piece, you are allowed to drink my urine slave.” I nod my head quickly, your piss sloshes around in my mouth. I hold every drop in.

    You blow another puff of smoke in my face as you take pleasure and content in all my struggles and teary eyes. I can feel my tongue drowning in your urine the scent so unbearable. Another puff of smoke in my face and another. My throat feels so bitter and dry having sucked and cleaned your strap-on, I feel so tempted to swallow your urine to moisten my hurting throat.

    I try to think about the cigar, your smoke, your gorgeous deadly beauty but your urine still envelops my tortured senses. Finally, the cigar begins to cinder lesser, and then no more, and you give me permission to swallow.

    The heavy thick stream of your urine washes down my throat like a crashing river. My, I still can feel your golden rain in my mouth and abused tongue. I can taste that salty piss running all the way down my throat. The scent exits my mouth and re-enters through my nostrils. I am utterly over powered and overwhelmed and absolutely dominated.

    Having lifted yourself off of me off the table, pulling up your tight leather black pants and zipping your leather black shirt, the sound of your tapping boots taking you to your long black leather coat. You reach one arm out to put it in whilst walking further away towards the door way leaving me completely restrained again.

    Aren’t you going to free one of my arms Goddess, didn’t you say you would!?.” Your slave cries out. “I don’t remember where I put the key, it might turn up eventually,” you respond as your voice distances as does the sound of your tapping footsteps, leaving me in bondage again. “Goddess”

    …and alone again! I want more! OMG! If only I had never become a counsellor in the Lady Eve’s Financial Trust Office!


    Featured image from Shutterstock

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  • What One Should Know About Domestic Discipline

    What One Should Know About Domestic Discipline

    I absolutely love kink, of course. After I was outed by a cyberstalker five years ago and my lifestyle splashed open in the South African media for all to see, I started living this life openly and proudly. Besides satisfying my own Dominant and sadistic urges, I am a BDSM educator and film producer.

    I specialise in roleplay (I have a drama degree and used to be an actress in the vanilla world, before I embraced this lifestyle completely), corporal punishment and domestic discipline. I love touring the world and meeting fellow kinksters.

    Photo: PKK Photography

    What Is Domestic Discipline?

    Domestic Discipline is spankings you’d expect to receive as a child.

    In BDSM, it manifests as either roleplay or as straight spankings, with no roleplay. Roleplay is often age play: parent/child, aunt and niece/nephew, neighbour, teacher/student. Non-ageplay scenarios could be wife/husband.

    You can be punished for real infractions, imaginary infractions or just for fun.

    Then there are also Female-Led Relationships (FLR), where two people who are in a romantic relationship or married and who decide that the Woman leads the relationship and is the Dominant partner. Domestic Discipline is often a part of such a FLR.

    Photo: PKK Photography

    Are There Rules?

    Rather than rules, there are traditions:

    * The disciplinarian wears common/vanilla clothing rather than fetish wear.

    * A domestic setting like a lounge or study, even just an armchair in a corner, rather than a dungeon.

    * No BDSM furniture like caning benches, just everyday home furnishings.

    * No restraining with rope or leather cuffs or chain. Restraining is done with leg locks and/or armlocks.

    * No whips, needles, humblers, etc., but rather household implements. In Domestic Discipline scenes, the implements used are hand, brush, belt, wooden spoon or ruler type implements. Canes (especially short OTK canes) may be used, too.

    * Domestic Discipline punishments involve humiliation practices like corner time and corporal punishment on the bum or hands. No face slapping, CBT, etc.

    Basically, you need a spanking for your behaviour and you’re going to get one. Probably over the knee, but can be bent over, on a bed, over a chair, etc.

    Is Preparation Required?

    No prep needed. (Though make sure your bottom is clean, since your bottom will only be a few centimetres from the Disciplinarian’s nose, if you’re pulled over their lap).

    If you feel you want/need a bare bottom spanking from a grown adult, find a capable woman—like me—with a willing lap and a stout brush and that’s it!

    Misconceptions About Domestic Discipline

    Misconceptions? No. But I’ll tell you an interesting fact, though, of which I only recently found out:

    There was a type of professional service that was available for parents back in the 50s in England. Some parents were too soft-hearted to discipline their own children, and they could pay professional Disciplinarians outside of the school system to punish their children. This usually happened at their own home, or at the home of the Disciplinarian. Obviously, not any more, as the legal use of corporal punishment has since been abandoned in most countries. But at that time it was a fairly commonplace occurrence in society.


    Mistress Baton – South African Dominatrix, Disciplinarian, Tour Domme and content producer. I love latex, CP, Domestic Discipline and Roleplay. Touring your country soon.

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    2020 Tour Schedule:

    * January Mumbai India

    * 13-17 Mar Dubai

    * 19-20 Mar Scotland

    * 22-25 Mar London

    * 27-28 Mar Wales

    * 30 Apr Ottawa

    * 1-2 May Toronto

    * 4-7 May NYC

    * 9 May Chicago

    * 11-13 May Dallas

    * 15-16 May Phoenix

    * Sept Dubai

    * Oct England & Wales

    * Dec Australia


    Article photos from Mistress Baton unless credited otherwise

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