SimplySxy

Tag: Dominatrix

  • Feminisation The Poshtotti Way

    Feminisation The Poshtotti Way

    Having been brought up in a religious cult from birth, all my inner desires were deeply suppressed. As a woman in a male controlled religion, I had no power nor control. It was frustrating to say the very least!. This is why I became a Dominatrix. A rebellion against my past. Let’s just say…I love it all

    What Is Feminisation?

    Feminisation in my eyes is a rebranding of the male form. Once they are transformed from ugly caterpillars into beautiful butterflies, I feel it gives them the opportunity to feel sexy. There are so many levels from simply wearing sexy panties to hormonal treatment and surgery.

    Why Do Men Enjoy Being Feminised?

    When men come to me, we often speak of how women get all the sexual attention from men. They are the objects of desire. Men want to know what that feels like. To become that object of desire. They start to crave the sexual role as a female. Others feel they are a female in a male body

    Common Misconceptions About Feminisation

    It isn’t for everybody. Lots of men don’t realise the work involved. Hair removal, heels, nails etc and I feel men often shy away for fear of rejection. There are so many levels. What looks good for one might not look good on another. It’s trial and error and patience to get to their final goal. Once they embrace it…they become addicted.

    The other common misconception is that men who desire to be feminised are gay, when commonly they are not.

    The Poshtotti Way Of Feminisation

    My power as a woman is not by shouting and screaming. My power and dominance is my sensuality. I am ladylike and they want to learn this skill from me. I take their hands and guide them into my world. I take their boundaries and push them gently in the direction I know is best. They are stripped naked and given nylons and sexy lingerie to slide slowly up their thighs to feel that sensual tingle.

    I dress my girls as I think appropriate and top their girliness off with perhaps a wig and elegant makeup to flaunt their pretty features. Training on walking, flirting and sexy seems to flow far easier now my girls actually feel feminine. They seem to transform into such sensuous beings. My girls are my passion.

    How Should Men Prepare Before Being Feminised

    This would depend on what level they want to take it to and this will reflect on their everyday life. I could be simply putting them in lingerie as a one off…but some want to take it further and we go out to lunch together and she will be fully dressed. Some of my girls want to transform totally. A lifestyle change. They have to consider this when they start the journey. For most it’s just fun when they are with me. Our secret.

    Mistress Poshtotti – My true passion in this wonderful world we inhabit is feminisation, I have a real desire to turn you into the sexy, desirable lady you have always yearned to be. Then treat you as the woman that deep down you know you are. My beautiful chamber in Pembrokeshire has everything we need for your complete transformation.

    Follow Mistress Poshtotti on

    Website: www.poshtottifeminisation.co.uk

    Twitter:@MPTfeminisation

    New Chambers in Haverfordwest, 3 floors of BDSM Debauchery

    Photos from Mistress Poshtotti

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  • What To Expect From The Perfect Domination Mistress In London

    What To Expect From The Perfect Domination Mistress In London

    As with all aspects of BDSM, trust is the most important factor in a domination relationship. For a genuine domination relationship to work, both parties need to know exactly what they expect, and exactly what they are willing to give and take, from the pairing. As such, you cannot get into a Domination relationship in the same way you would a standard sexual coupling. If you are looking for your perfect Domme in London, here are some qualities that your mistress should exhibit during your encounter. That way you know that you will be in for a night of pure submissive passion.

    Domination Expertise and Trust

    A domination relationship is a complex thing that should not be taken lightly – otherwise, you are not going to get what you want from the experience, and your partner will not

    Escorts are trained professionals at what they do, and they will not advertise themselves as offering a service without having had significant experience in that field. As such, hiring a Domination escort is one of the best ways to meet responsible, passionate dominatrixes in your area.

    This might seem counter-intuitive, after all, if a major part of a Domination relationship is trust, why would you enlist the services of a woman you don’t even know? Put simply, escorts offer a professional service, in the same way, that a swimming instructor does. The trust between a client and an escort is business-based, as opposed to the more personal trust one usually associates with a sexual relationship.

    If you meet up with a domination mistress, she will talk you through all of your fantasies and let you feel like you are safe hands. It does not matter if your mistress is an outcall escort or is from the best London incall escort agency, at the end of the day, she should know exactly what she is doing and make you feel like you do not need to control the situation. You should be able to trust her enough to allow yourself to let go and relax into a natural submissive state. It may take a few encounters to do this, but it is worth it once you get to the point of pure obedience without question.

    Communication

    Now that we have established that the act of domination/BDSM is a trust exercise between partners, it’s also important to understand that a BDSM relationship between a mistress and slave cannot happen unless there is open communication. Whether that is about kinks, fetishes or interests, your mistress must know them all. The more open you are about what you like and dislike, the more informed your mistress will be. This is especially important in terms of safe words and warnings.  Your mistress needs to know when she is going too far and when she needs to take a softer approach with you. So, don’t be afraid to think of the perfect word that will not disrupt your atmosphere but will still let your mistress when she has done too much.

    So, the main thing you need to know about finding your perfect mistress in London is to keep an open mind and let her know exactly what you are thinking. That way you can have a passionate encounter every time.

    Services

    Now, when it comes to your mistresses services, they need to suit your every need and desire. You can’t be submissive to a mistress who can satisfy you. Then you may start to question whats the point of being good. That’s why your mistress needs to be able to carry herself with the perfect combination of “carrot and stick” to reward and punish you.

    When you first meet up with your London mistress, don’t be afraid to question her services. If there is something specific that you like the sound of, for instance, whipping or spanking, then ask her about whether or not she would be willing to do it. A good mistress will understand what you enjoy and use it throughout the service either as a “punishment” or to reward you for good behaviour. For instance, if you are interested in puppy play, she may reward you by taking you out for a walk. However, if you have been bad then she may spank you or take away your toys as punishment.

    The services your mistress provides you to represent the dynamic of your relationship. She should exactly how to please you and how to hold the balance of punishment vs pleasure. That way, you will WANT to obey her every command, rather than just be forced to.

    No Judgement

    A London mistress has been in the BDSM community for a very long time. She has seen a whole range of fetishes from vanilla to the extreme. So, why would she even think about judging you? A good mistress will make sure that you feel welcome in her lair and that you can truly release yourself from your pent up urges. If your mistress makes you feel insecure or bad about the sort of services you are after, it may be time to look for a brand new domination escort in London.

    Where to find the perfect London mistress?

    One of the best places to start when it comes to finding a mistress in London is online. Yes, a lot of mistresses credentials get passed on through word of mouth but try by searching “dominatrix escort agencies” or “London Mistresses” on Google. There you will be able to find a lot of Dominatrix agencies or directories that will show you some of the best ladies in the business. Some London dommes even have their websites that show off their dungeons and services. It’s the best place to start if you’re after meeting up with a London Mistress for a date.

    Have fun!

    Featured image from Shutterstock

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  • What It’s Like To Be A Dominatrix

    What It’s Like To Be A Dominatrix

    I personally dislike the idea that a kink lifestyle is “alternative” at all. Everyone has fetishes – whether or not their fetishes have become socially “appropriate” or not is really what people are talking about when they separate what’s “kink” from what’s “vanilla”.

    I believe that each person deserves the right to live out their fantasies in a way that is safe, sane, and consensual; often, this means turning to a sex worker or professional who can guide them through finding the best and most healthy ways to engage in their fetishes.

    How I Became A Dominatrix

    In the early 2010s, I helped run kink discussion groups in Philadelphia, and those experiences encouraged me to start camming. Soon after, I began dating someone in Brooklyn who asked me if I’d try being a little more dominant with them. Years later, they wrote about that first night, saying “It was like you picked up a basketball and realized you were Michael Jordan.” (To this day, that’s one of my favorite things anyone has ever said about me.)

    I have a habit of monetizing my passions, and I was also feeling uncomfortable being submissive while camming, so I switched gears and started my domination career. In January of 2018, I officially shut down my life coaching and other businesses and made domination my full-time career.

    Was The Experience What You Thought It Would Be?

    Well, I started out from more of a lifestyle domination standpoint, so I think I had a different approach than most from the get-go. I’m not going to say I didn’t make the classic “online domme” mistakes when I started out, because I SO did, but I think most of that was just me trying to mimic others instead of just being myself. It took me a while to figure out who I was as a Domme, and I actively endeavor to grow and learn more about who I am as a Domme every day.

    I’d say my biggest expectation going in was that I could always trust the subs, clients, and customers who approached me, which I quickly learned was NOT true. One of the best things I’ve learned as an online sex worker is that words are empty and actions speak volumes.

    Being A Dominatrix Is Harder Than It Looks

    I would say yes – although, it depends on what you’re looking at. Mass media depictions of “domination” often showcase abusive and/or unrealistic encounters which leave people with the impression that a) abuse is “kinky”, b) domination is all about sexual or painful interactions, c) aftercare doesn’t exist, d) domination requires little to no education, and more unsafe/unsavory misconceptions.

    So, to the general uneducated public, I would definitely say that domination is a lot more difficult than it looks. There are so many aspects of domination that are not depicted in works like “50 Shades of Gray” (more like 50 Shades of Massively Abusive and Manipulative Behavior, if you ask me) and click bait articles about how “Woman Makes Thousands of Dollars Humiliating Men on the Internet!!”. People are shown the ‘outrageous’ sides of domination, but not the raw, loving, and educated sides.

    This is dangerous for many reasons, one of which being: people (especially women) are trained to believe that those horrible, manipulative, and abusive situations and actions are actually SEXY, which leads to literally dangerous encounters where people can be hurt both physically AND emotionally.

    Misconceptions About A Dominatrix

    When I was running my life coaching company and my domination business was a side venture, I had a lot of people asking me things like, “How do you reconcile that? On the one hand, you’re building people up, and on the other, you’re breaking people down!”- to which I’ve always simply answered: “I’m in the business of dream fulfillment.”

    It honestly breaks my heart that so many people think domination is about breaking someone down. That’s such a simplified approach to what is an incredibly nuanced and multi-faceted field. Yes; if a sub is interested in humiliation or degradation or any similar fetish, there are definitely elements of that which come up in the dynamic (relationship). But those elements are there to give the submissive a safe space to engage with their interests and NEEDS – not to ruin them, their lives, or the lives of anyone around them. If there is any “breaking down” in the dynamic, I’m not breaking down the PERSON, I’m breaking down any harmful or limiting barriers that have negatively impacted their lives or their connection to their fetishes, or even basic needs.

    I have sent subs home from work when they had pneumonia, helped them leave relationships that were toxic, inspired them to find better jobs, enforced better hygiene and eating habits, and more. When I own someone, I take responsibility for them. I am now the person who holds their health, their happiness, their relationships in my hands. I take that seriously. I never stopped being a life coach, I just now also get to kick them in the balls, too.

    Advice For Any Aspiring Dominatrix

    EDUCATE YOURSELF. If you’re interested in a fetish, LEARN about it. Find someone who is trained in it, hire them to consult with you or train you. If you’re not interested in actually investing in this and treating it like a business, and if you’re not willing to make sure you are providing the safest and most professional experience for potential clients, you really have no business in this industry.

    I’m not trying to put anyone down or make anyone feel like they are unwelcome, but this is about literally putting people in danger. If you are not well-trained and completely cognizant of your effect on potential subs/slaves/customers/clients, you are actually putting others (and even yourself) in physically and emotionally dangerous situations. I started off by making a FetLife account, consistently refreshing the “random fetishes” page, and researching anything that popped up that I didn’t know anything about. This also gave me a very clear idea of what I was into and what I wasn’t, which is IMPORTANT. If you aren’t completely clear about your limits and needs, it is impossible to really lay a foundation for a sub to do the same. Also, it leaves space for the Dom(me) to be taken advantage of by ‘subs’ who top from the bottom (actually dominate the situation under the guise of being submissive) and try to haggle (that’s not ‘being bratty’, it’s just disrespectful).

    So, I guess for me, it comes down to education, clarity, consistency, communication, and compassion. Without any one of those things, there is potential for physical or emotional distress, on either or both ends. These are real people with real lives!! If you are incapable of treating them as such, you are creating a toxic and abusive environment, and that is just not domination. I always say, “The line between domination and abuse is the moment the dominant doesn’t respect that any power they have was GIVEN to them by the sub.”

    Domination (and submission) can be intensely rewarding and fun – but without a safe, sane, and consensual environment, all you’re doing is monetizing being abusive. Be safe, educate yourself, be compassionate, and most of all, have fun!!

    Fox Ryker is a professional traveling Domme based out of Los Angeles. She’s a stickler for limits, loves exploration and pushing boundaries, and operates with moderate to high protocol. She loves spending time and sessioning in NYC, Baltimore, Orlando and Philadelphia. She’s sadistic and playful, and puts health, reliability, loyalty, and communication above all else. Her primary interests include humiliation/degradation, financial domination, foot worship, chastity/keyholding, and sadism

    FollowFox Ryker on

    Website: worshipFox.com

    Sessions: worshipFox.com/sessions

    Twitter/Instagram/Snapchat: @foxthegoddess

    iWantClips: iwantGoddessFox.com

    Clips4Sale: GoddessFoxclips.com

    NiteFlirt: callGoddessFox.com

    MyFreeCams: GoddessFoxcams.com

    I offer sessions globally, as long as travel is paid for. Upcoming tours will be announced on my social media accounts, specifically Twitter. I am always available for interviews and features. I also provide kink coaching for those who need the help of a professional to find healthy ways to engage in their interests, but aren’t looking for a Domme, and business coaching for those interested in joining the industry.

    Article images courtesy of Fox Ryker

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  • Exploring Different Kinks & Fetishes

    Exploring Different Kinks & Fetishes

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    I love different kinks, and I aim to embrace them in my community. I myself am a big fan of kinks and fetishes. My work is specialized in FinDom, JOI, tease and denial, sissification, and humiliation to name a few.

    How My Interest In Kink Started

    I knew I was a fan of more than vanilla sex from the age of 16/17 but didn’t have the ability to explore my kinks. I discovered my specific interests initially through porn, but have been able to divulge into every fantasy as a dominatrix/switch.

    How Does One Know What Kink They Are Into?

    Sometimes it’s completely by accident; you might see something in a film, or someone walking past you in the street and see something peculiar that turns you on. It can be a trial and error, especially for specific kinks, but porn and the Twitter dominatrix/camming universe is a good place to start.

    Tips To Get Into The Kink Lifestyle

    Try joining a community such as Fetlife, which is like facebook for us kinky folk, and start talking to people about it. Reading up on things online is good too. I have a folder on my computer with images and links of all the things I want to try.

    Websites like this one is a good way to learn more too. The talented people who are featured in articles will know even more than what they can put on a page, so try joining their community.

    Popular Fetishes & Kinks

    The most popular I’ve found is DDLG (daddy domme, little girl), JOI (jerk on instruction), feet worship, ass worship, sissification, and humiliation. These are all amazing kinks to have a start with, especially JOI which is really good to look into as beginners.

    As a Domme, I’m into FinDom (financial domination), JOI, body worship, humiliation, sissification, blackmail, chastity, and tease and denial. In my personal life away from work, I’d consider myself more of a sub/switch, into knife play, asphyxiation, DDLG, bondage (there’s this really tasteful Japanese art form of rope bondage which is really cool) and more.

    I find that being a Domme and camgirl as a job is amazing as an outlet. There’s just something about telling someone they can’t cum, or telling them they’re pathetic, that really relieves stress.

    Tips For Beginners To Explore Their Kinks

    Fetlife and Twitter is a good place to start. There are also some amazing dedicated discord servers to specific fetishes that can be found online. From there, Domme cam models are a good place to try out the experience tailored to you.

    If you have a partner, it’s always good to be open sexually and talk about what you would like to try, with both of you respecting each other’s boundaries. If your partner isn’t into, do not pressure them into trying something they don’t feel comfortable.

    As with anything else, consent must be given first. This also goes to cam models and other people you might go to try our possible kinks: if a Domme or anyone whose job is to do that says they do not cater to or are uncomfortable with that fetish or kink, don’t push.

    All in all, have fun, stay safe, stay sexy.

    Poppy Swallows xoxo

    Poppy Swallows – I’m Poppy! Camgirl and fet-lover, I spend most nights performing and pleasing the masses. I love sleep, food, animals, gaming, and food. I specialize in JOI and sell custom videos and photos too. I do skype sessions and I’m always up for a casual chat.

    Follow Poppy on

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/poppyswallows

    Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/poppyswallows

    Websites:

    https://www.deliverycode.com/wishlist/32979

    https://discord.gg/zuswMuP

    https://share.myfreecams.com/PoppySwallows

    https://profiles.myfreecams.com/PoppySwallows

    https://social.myfreecams.com/PoppySwallows

    https://profiles.skyprivate.com/models/eoyt-poppyswallows.html

    I don’t have anything coming up, but I am planning on going to the SuicideGirls/MFC show in London in June, so if you’d like to see me there, come along and make it happen!!

    Article images courtesy of Poppy Swallows; featured image from Shutterstock

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  • What It’s Like To Be A Lifestyle Domme

    What It’s Like To Be A Lifestyle Domme

    My subs must understand they are here for me, to please me and create value in my life, otherwise I am not interested to spend my time dominating them. It’s really simple and straight-forward. Those who want a NSA service should go to a pro domme.

    How My Interest As A Domme Started

    I was just curious about alternative lifestyles in general and bored of my 9 to 5 jobs.

    What It Means To Be A Lifestyle Domme

    I suppose that´s what I have wanted all along but to earn money I had to see clients in the hope that some of them might become my real slaves which eventually happened. After about ten years on the scene I decided to retire as a pro domme as I was bored of the clients and wanted to focus on the selected few personal slaves.

    Difference From Being A Pro Domme

    It´s completely different. You see whom you want, when you want and do only what you want and many of the personal slaves are quite generous. Unlike clients who only tribute by the hour my real slaves pay for my spa, weekends away, gifts etc on top of the monetary tributes and the best thing is that most of them stay with me for years.

    Favorite Domme Play Sessions

    I always challenge myself to come with something new for the individual slave as I love to surprise, impress and create something memorable. Mind games tend to play bigger role than the physical domination.

    What To Know Before Being A Lifestyle Domme

    It is actually very hard to find genuine subs who aim to please. Most wannabe slaves just want to take advantage of the dominant female, especially an inexperienced one in order to get something for nothing. It´s always the same old story “I will do anything for you but not this or that and God forbid it should cost me something – you are here to service me and my needs and kinks”.

    You will learn fast enough to weed these timewasters out. If anyone refers to himself as a “worm” or “useless”, he very likely is and you certainly don´t want to have anything to do with him.

    Mistress Arella – Retired after ten years on the scene as a pro domme, now dominating my loyal personal slaves only and that´s how I like it. It´s hard to impress me but anyone can try.

    Follow Mistress Arella on

    Twitter: @ArellaMistress

    Article images courtesy of Mistress Arella

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  • How To Worship A Goddess

    How To Worship A Goddess

    “An artist is someone who can hold two opposing viewpoints and still remain fully functional.” I believe that there is an artist in all of us kinky creatures. The kinks / alternative lifestyles unleash the alter ego within us, and with a healthy balance between vanilla and alternatives, they keep us function better.

    I see alternative lifestyles as very much about power exchange. When you hand over the control and let go of yourself to someone you trust and like, you release the tension in your day to day life and enter another realm of enjoyment.

    What Goddess Worship Involves

    In the most straightforward sense, worshipping a goddess involves worshipping her body and her wearings, such as kissing her feet, heels, boots, stockings, gloves, panties.

    Apart from the basics, a slave would worship even the floor the goddess steps on, the cigarette she smokes, and the fluids from her body, etc.

    In a broader sense, worshipping a goddess doesn’t have to be in a session. Buying her gifts, treating her to a meal, a drink, a holiday, being her chauffeur, doing tasks for her – things that genuinely adds value and/or enjoyment to her life can all be considered worshipping her.

    Worshipping a goddess is giving / doing for her what she loves, in true form of servitude.

    For example, travelling is one of the many many things I love. I go for private trips with my slaves every now and then. Treating me to a holiday and serving me along the way makes me feel worshipped, and makes them special for me. I also love massages, so I allow some of my slaves to massage my body either in and outside of sessions (they have to learn the professional techniques, otherwise I will teach them the hard way in the session). I find my body is better worshipped this way than having the slave licking my feet (the latter is more about degradation for the slave over enjoyment for my feet, although I love to have my feet worshipped in all sorts of ways).

    Why Goddess Worship Is Popular

    For the domme, being worshipped is satisfying. she received the pleasure, and knows that she has the power and she is admired.

    For the sub, to worship is to show his submission to his domme. For a submissive man, the feeling of  letting go of his own sense of self and giving to  / pleasing the lady he adores is indulging.

    Typical Types Of Worships

    In sessions, worshipping feet, butt, and any other parts of the body that she allows, heels / boots, stockings, fetishwears.

    Outside of sessions, gifts, trips, and dining.

    What Subs Should Know Before Worshipping A Goddess

    Know her preference – such as which part of the body she likes to be worshipped more / most. How she likes to be worshipped. Whether she prefers the sub to be shaved.

    Know her limits – which parts she doesn’t allow contact.

    Shower and clean thoroughly before getting close to the goddess.

    Asking for permission before the act is always a good sub etiquette.

    Mistress Yui – I am an adventurer in sexuality and domination. Gifted with beauty and in constant pursuit of higher power and finer things. I put men in their place, and free their spirits. Above all, I am fun, mostly harmless!

    Follow Mistress Yui on

    Website: https://www.mistressyui.com

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/DominaYui

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mistressyui/

    Article images courtesy of Mistress Yui

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  • Ways To Explore Domination

    Ways To Explore Domination

    My personal view towards kink is that it’s healthy, natural, and fun.  Kink is a journey of perpetual self-discovery and exploration.  It’s a constructive way to delve into the complicated twists of your psyche, experience, and sexuality; while finding meaningful ways to connect with other people.

    Why I Love Domination

    I love the power that is created and shared between dominant and submissive.  It’s almost like a magical dance with all participants sharing the created energy.  The dominant getting to feel the control of steering the session and the submissive getting to explore their personal sexual boundaries.  I really get off on making kinky people’s darkest dreams come to life.

    Favorite Domination Activities

    I love to do just about everything, but if I had to pick a favorite, I’d say the psychological side of domination.  While manacles and other bondage have their joys, the mind is the sexiest weapon in anyone’s arsenal.  I love sissification/crossdressing, pet training and roleplay.

    Common Misconceptions About Domination

    The one that seems to appear often is that Dominants are always mean.  When you really look into the real traits of a Dominant, they’re those of a truly nurturing figure.  It’s one of the reasons I love to play “Dommy-Mommy” roles. Mother figures are the first true Dominant figures in our lives, but their true character is someone who lets us explore our world in safety.

    Tips To Explore Kink & Domination

    Education is vital.  Learn as much as you can about kink first, as it lets you play without the risk of physical, mental or emotional harm.  Most major cities will have at least one group where you can be educated and build your experience.  Kink is much like every other aspect of our lives; knowledge is power.

    Larkin Love – SFW Twitter of adult star & fetish expert

    Follow Larkin Love on

    Website: https://larkinlove.com/

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheLarkinLove

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/larkinloverules/

    Article images courtesy of Larkin Love

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  • How To Serve A Financial Dominatrix

    How To Serve A Financial Dominatrix

    It’s definitely not an easy money type of thing that most people will think is. It takes a lot of patience. I love money so financial domination is something that I am glad exists. I definitely do think that this is not something you should be doing if you NEED money. It’s very inconsistent at times.

    Appeal Of Financial Domination To Subs

    These subs specifically like paying young, hot, dominant girls. Something about being dominating and paying literally turns them on.

    Do You Have Any Criteria For Choosing Subs?

    No. Never.

    Do’s & Don’ts A Sub Must Follow

    It varies. Whatever rule I decide is what happens. I ask what they’re into/what their limit is and I go from there. I make sure they’re in a safe place with me, so it really varies.

    Punishments For Subs

    ALWAYS pay for your punishment. I’ll add a little task, BUT they will need to pay for misbehaving.

    Emiii – I started findom August 2018, but in reality.. I’ve been financially dominating men since I was younger. *gold digger* my Twitter is @prettyinmoney

    Follow Emiii on

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/prettyinmoney

    Article images courtesy of Emiii

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  • How To Have A Successful Domme/Sub Relationship

    How To Have A Successful Domme/Sub Relationship

    Obviously I am very open minded. Working as a Findomme/FemDome, how could I not be. Even though Findom stands for financial domination, it still involves plenty of other kinks and fetishes than only money transfer.

    Honestly, when I started my work as a Domme, I got so many requests to cater to all kinds of kinks that I got very overwhelmed and needed to take a little time to do some soul searching in myself.

    What kind of Domme am I?

    What do I enjoy most about my work?

    I needed to find clear boundaries for myself. What am I comfortable doing and what fights with my personal morals/thoughts. I don’t believe in home wrecking. Blackmail is a fetish of many but it is such a grey area (legally) so I decided not to put myself in that position.

    Obviously all is a fantasy, but a girls’ got to be smart and true to herself. I don’t cater to scat fetish neither.

    These are just my limits.

    Remember this whole interview is my personal thoughts and experiences as a Domme, model and a business woman in the fetish scene.

    Sensual & Hypno Domination

    I will tackle this interview in the perspective of my style of Domination. As we are talking about the powerful relationship between a Domme/sub, I want to first explain a bit about the different types of slaves and relationships there are.

    Each sub is different and so is each relationship with each slave. I categorize my slaves into two categories.

    Long term slaves and session slaves.

    There is a huge difference on how those relationships work. Obviously the bond between a Domme and slave increases the more we interact. Personally I enjoy most dominating my long term slaves, and we usually have a TPE (Total power exchange) contract. Meaning that the submissive chooses to give me as much control and power over their entire life.

    Body, mind, soul, finances etc the list goes on. These relationships are very important to me, since I interact with them daily. I have deep penetrated their mind helping them to  intense feelings of pleasure and total loss of control.

    Introducing them to mental kinks that they maybe never could have even thought of. This is a deep mental fetish even though money is a huge part of it. To a sub, the feeling of total loss of control is a thrill and they also consider it a huge privilege.

    So I think being someones’ Domme is somewhat similar to being a life coach. Both help people discover their true passions, blocks and help them through a mental journey…in this case a very kinky journey.

    I feel like I am the disease and the cure to a sub. I believe 100% that it is possible to live a fulfilling and happy ‘vanilla’ life whilst serving a Domme and being able to express their kinks and fetishes in a safe setting. I won’t go to full details regarding sensual and hypno Domination.

    From that you can read more about later.

    What A Domme/Sub Relationship Involves

    Trust.

    Detication.

    Obidyence.

    Admiration.

    Commitment.

    Full fetish fun!

    Rules To Have A Balanced Life

    Like I already said; each relationship is unique but there is a similar pattern that I go through with every single sub I associate with once we are getting started.

    This is a routine that I recommend Dommes to use to avoid getting your time wasted but to also dominating safely so that both you and your subs get to live a balanced life.

    We also want to avoid misunderstanding our subs and the nature of our relationship with them. We need to take care of all the moving parts to have a awesome successful relationship with all our slaves.

    First Step A Sub Must Do

    The first step is always (without any exception) a ‘Tribute’.

    Tribute is money that the submissive sends to the Domme when contacting her. It is not a payment for any service.

    It basically just lets the Domme know that you are serious with starting a D/s relationship with this Dominatrix.

    Especially in the online Findom/Femdom community there are plenty of scammers, hence why us Dommes require a initial tribute as a proof that they are not being scammed or getting their precious time wasted.

    Designing The Contract/Session

    Now after the initial tribute has been sent, this is the next step.

    I have a ready made template of important questions regarding kinks/limits/budget etc that I ask all of my slaves to fill out.

    This way I can actually start doing my job.

    This also helps me to categorise the sub into one of my two categories.

    1. Long Term slaves
    2. Session slaves

    Why Do Submissives Seek Out A Relationship With A Domme?

    Let’s imagine that a sub is in a happy and successful relationship or a marriage with a ‘vanilla’ spouse whom they love but maybe are not into the fetish lifestyle or Domination.

    They most likely do not feel comfortable experimenting in that area. I don’t believe that anyone should be forced to do anything sexual that they do not feel comfortable doing. So there are few options from where couples can take it from here.

    Either the submissive one who would love to be dominated has to suffocate his urges to explore with his kinks and fetishes in order to stay with their loved one; resulting in an unbalanced/unhappy life.

    That can in worst cases result to mental health issues, cheating on your partner, cheating yourself or even a divorce.

    Or the couple can make an arrangement that the submissive can fulfil his kinky fantasies with a professional Domme in a safe setting, possibly via the internet.

    This is the ideal situation, obviously assuming that the ‘vanilla’ partner gives an okay to this action.

    Many subs live in a long happy relationship while being in a D/s relationship.

    Perfect balance. What the difference is that the Fetish is a fantasy.

    Your love is real.

    Not to belittle the beauty and power of a D/s relationship at all! But we must all understand that it is a fantasy! There are also subs who practise their kink is silence and they keep it a secret from their spouse. There are as many scenarios as there are people.

    This can be a tricky situation for a Domme. Personally I deal with this problem together with my limits; what I’m willing to do and what not. I do not believe in home-wrecking or blackmail. I’m all about female empowerment so I have very strict morals in my dominant work.

    At the best you are able to get the best of both lives,  doesn’t everyone love a little fetish with their vanilla?

    Von Nette –

    When I started my career as Von Nette just the beginning of 2018, things escalated big, real quick. I’m definitely a perfectionist and put my whole heart and soul to everything I do. I have a hunger and a passion for what I do and I know my craft.

    I would definitely describe myself as professional Fetishist, Model, FinDomme, FemDomme, seductress and your favourite addiction. I’m a sensual , deep woman full of mystery and surprises.

    I used to work as a professional hair- and makeup stylist. I have been working in the beauty industry in photoshoots , video sets and all places, always secretly hoping to be the one in front of the camera one day.

    As a very creative person by nature I have done visual art and even had few art exhibitions in my vanilla life. I have also been writing from ever since I can remember. As a teenager I started a vanilla lifestyle blog that did well but naturally took a turn towards love, relationships, sex, fetishes and kinks.

    So I decided to make my dreams come true. Now I am Von Nette! I get frequently asked that is Von Nette Me or a Alter Ego. Both. Its a side of me that I must express. Its a side who wants to brake all taboos and get to the bottom of things. The side who has always loved to make a lasting impression to people threw my own art…now I’ve gotten to the conclusion that I am The art. I am what makes the lasting impression on people. I can not suffocate this side of me any longer. I was put on this earth to create. I must fulfill that passion!

    I am proud of what I do and gladly hard work paid off since I won EroAward 2018 category ‘Supreme Goddess’ with only 6 months into my work. I know this is just a start of a long inspiring career.  Financial Domination in itself is a form of art that only the rare master, I love what I do and have fun with it. I hope you enjoy me, my work and outlook on different taboo subjects as much as I truly enjoy creating content.

    Follow Von Nette on

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/nettenasty

    RedSkyMedia: http://www.redskyeworld.com/models/2018/nasty-von-nette.htm

    Article images courtesy of Von Nette, featured image from Shutterstock

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  • The BDSM Scene & Being A Mistress In Tokyo

    The BDSM Scene & Being A Mistress In Tokyo

    Kink is a huge pillar in my life. I’ve worked in and around the kink community prior to becoming a pro-domme. I still find it fascinating and ever fluctuating, evolving, morphing, even while I work in the midst of it. I think that is what attracts me to the so-called “alternative lifestyle”; there isn’t a “correct” or “incorrect” way of doing things (outside of protocol such as consent and safety, of course).

    You can become who you want to be, who you design to be. Not only can you make your own fantasy come true, but you can realize that of others while doing so.

    Popularity Of Kink In Tokyo

    I could say that the kink community is fairly large in Tokyo. The fact that there are a good number of open spaces for people to explore their kink helps. BDSM is becoming more acceptable in mainstream and pop culture, but I don’t think it’s fair to say that society is open or accepting about it.

    People may joke around and say that they’re “sadistic” or “masochistic”, but they’re only aware of the surface level of what goes into BDSM. Generally speaking, it’s also not acceptable to talk about BDSM in a public, vanilla setting either.

    Ways To Enjoy The Kink Scene In Tokyo

    There are two ways to enjoy fetish/kink/BDSM when you are in Tokyo. You could go to a fetish-themed event (which happens quite regularly in Tokyo). Another way is to pay a visit to a “SM” or “Fetish” bar.

    These are safe spaces where you can either sit back and enjoy your drink, or participate in some light play. Most SM bars have suspension points, toys (such as floggers, whips, rope, etc.), and costumes. However, you will not be able to fully undress, and there are different policies depending on each bar as to how far you can go with your “play.”

    Uniqueness Of Kink In Japan

    I am often told that the sheer number of bars that are completely dedicated to BDSM is something that is unique to Japan. For a country that’s so small, we do have an impressive number of spaces and events that are purely directed towards the BDSM community.

    How I Got Started As A Mistress

    I returned to Japan three years ago after graduating from grad school in Los Angeles. I quickly got immersed in the scene here and started working part-time as a translator for private kinbaku (rope bondage) lessons. I met a Mistress (who I see as my mentor today), and quickly dreamt of becoming a Mistress full-time, but there were circumstances that weren’t allowing me for doing so.

    About a year later, I began working at a SM bar, where I met another Mistress who worked for a SM Club (which is something like an agency for Mistresses). I got connected to the owner of the club (who is a Mistress herself, and someone I admire) and thanks to her, I had a face-to-face talk with the owner. I worked for the club a little over an year before deciding to go independent.

    Expectations For Subs

    Trust, honesty, and respect.

    Favorite Kink Sessions Of Mine

    I’ve recently become a huge fan of JOI after signing up with NiteFlirt. I didn’t anticipate the amount of control I can have over a sub with just my voice; I found that exhilarating. When conducting in-person sessions, I love the idea of giving subs a task (taking lashes from a single tail, etc.) and giving them a treat if they manage to meet their goals.

    I’m also a huge fan of sissification; some of my favorite subs are sissies that want to be transformed by me, and go on “dates” together. I’m keen on incorporating different aspects of BDSM as well as forms of play into my sessions.

    Mistress Kinako – I am born and raised in Japan, BDSM has been a large part of my life for nearly a decade. I am a true sadist and female supremacist at heart, and pride my practice in domination and torture. I describe my style of domination as “East-meets-West”; I blend nuances of Japanese “SM” with Western style discipline and torture.

    Follow Mistress Kinako on

    Website: mistresskinako.com

    Twitter: @MistressKinako

    Instagram: @MistressKinako

    NiteFlirt: @MistressKinako

    Blog: http://blog.livedoor.jp/mistresskinako/

    Images courtesy of Mistress Kinako

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