Tag: Dominatrix

Intro Sessions to BDSM – Are you ready to step into the world of BDSM?

Ever wondered how it will feel to submit yourself? Or if you’re unsure of what to ask for when contacting a dominatrix? Worry no further. Mistress Jadis is a professional dominatrix based in Sydney, Australia and has a wide variety of interests which includes Corporal Punishment, Cock & Ball Torture and Play Piercing. One of her specialties and favorite activities however, is Intro Sessions for new players. Conducting her sessions from one of the best equipped dungeons in Australia, we ask Mistress Jadis more about Intro Sessions and what new players should know before entering the world of BDSM.

Why is Intro Sessions one of your favorite activities?

I love intro sessions because I love intensity. While the level of play in many intro sessions is not heavy the intensity of the experience and the emotions involved often can be. For many subs that come to me for an intro session it’s their first step toward bringing what can often be years of fantasy into reality.

If one is curious about trying it out, how can they get started?

Think about what attracts you to this experience and what you’d like to get out of it. What activities are you keen to try? How do you want to feel? What are your limits?

I’d also recommend that new subs contemplating a first session do some research both into BDSM in general and in particular the activities that interest them. Quality consent is informed consent.

Your next step is finding a Professional Dominant to play with. Most quality practitioners will have their own website and google will help you to find someone in your area. Take the time to browse the sites of a few different Professional Dominants. Don’t just look at the pictures. Take the time to read about their interests, limits and facilities. Many professional kinksters also blog, have reviews and have extensive social media presences. These can be a valuable way to get a feel for skill level and personality fit.

Many professional perverts will detail how they prefer to be contacted on their sites. When you feel ready to enquire about a booking be sure to be polite, concise and respectful in your approach. Many of us are quite selective in who we see.

What happens if a new player is unsure of what they want?

Most quality professional dominants will be able to put together an intro session comprising popular activities. You and they will then be able to assess what worked and what didn’t.

Intro sessions can sometimes yield surprises. Sometimes things that seemed like super hot ideas don’t translate well to reality. Conversely things that were not super appealing can turn out to be really enjoyable in practice.

My preference is always that the sub have done enough research to have at least an idea of their potential interests. Kink is quite a broad field so it does help to at least have a starting point.

Describe a typical session for a new player and what they can expect at your intro session.

There really is no typical session. Each session is tailored to incorporate expressed interests and limits.

Going into an intro session your expectation should be that the play will be conducted safely, in a clean environment and that your limits will be respected.

What are some things new players should know and prepare themselves before trying out?

It’s important to understand that the relationship between you and the kink provider that you see is a professional one. While what happens in session is intimate and real, the relationship is a boundaried one for valid reasons. This protects you as well as your provider. Respecting the time and privacy of your kink professional is essential.

Both parties will enjoy the time spent in the dungeon more if you arrive clean and well groomed. I always tell slaves to prepare for a session as they would prepare for a hot date.

The other thing to consider is sub drop. Intense experiences can stir up a lot of endorphins which can leave you feeling a bit ordinary in the days or hours following the session. If you’re feeling a bit tired, or depressed after play recognising that sub drop is a thing and taking good care of yourself helps a lot. I let slaves coming to me for an intro know that they can email me to debrief if needs be.

Can you tell us more about the dungeon where your sessions are done and the equipment available?

My sessions are conducted from Mistress Servalan’s Carisbrook dungeon. It’s a large, open plan warehouse with themed areas – quite a unique playspace. We have a huge main dungeon, a school room, a cross dressing room, a mirrored sling room and a rubber themed area. As well as all the usual toys we have an impressive selection of bondage furniture – some custom and many from Fetters, including an inversion rack and our beloved “Wheel of Misfortune”. We also have a cell which is often utilised in overnight sessions, a dog box (which can also be used for sensory deprivation), a standing cage and a suspendable ball cage.

Keen to find out more about Mistress Jadis and submit to her? Visit her website and follow her on social media through the links in her profile below.

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June 7, 2015
5 Things you should know about Financial Domination

What does financial domination entail?

From my experience, Findom is an act of devotion and submission to the Domme (or Dom) through money. I’ve primarily dominated men by having them send me money. I’ve had one man buy me a $600 laptop and give me $1,500 to fund my breast augmentation surgery fund. His reasoning was because he liked to see me happy and wanted to spoil me.

How much are slaves required to contribute to their mistresses in a Findom relationship?

I don’t have a set income for slaves to meet to be able to serve me. If someone would like to send me gifts/money, I won’t say no.

What do you call these slaves and why do you think they enjoy giving their money to their mistresses?

Paypigs, Moneypigs, Wallet Slaves, etc. I think the joy men get from it is to feel powerless, blackmailed, or just in need of having someone else control their life.

What are some items which Dominatrixes will spend on from the money they get?

I don’t know what other Dommes would buy, but if I were to buy anything with a large sum of cash from a slave, I’d buy clothes, make up, get my nails done, go to a salon, get a massage, buy myself nice gadgets, buy a new car, live in a bigger apartment, etc. I’d basically splurge and be selfish. I’m a pretty bratty Domme. I have not yet micromanaged a slave’s financial situation, but I would like to someday soon.

What is the main appeal of financial domination to the Dominatrix?

For me, it’s the money and the power I can have over someone else with their money. At that point, their money becomes my money.

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April 29, 2015
Tips for the new Domme
“Just be your usual guai lan self. He want, you don’t give. He don’t want, you give more.”

This was the piece of advice someone gave me before my very first session.

Everyone is different. I think the most important first thing to figure out is what your style is. That, and learning the right techniques and knowing how to play safely.

Technique and Safety

Between the time I first thought about topping to the time I actually topped someone, it was about 1.5 years (or maybe more). I had been thinking about it for a very long time, but it was only after learning proper techniques at the 2 kink conferences in Hong Kong that I felt I was ready to try.

I personally don’t like doing things without the proper research. I also don’t do anything to my subs that I haven’t tried on myself. I like to know exactly what I’m doing to the other person. Some call it my OCD, some think I’m a perfectionist, but I think it’s also about being in control of the situation.

The kink conferences were the perfect place for me to learn. This was a weekend full of workshops from experienced people, some of whom also came from overseas. They taught us the skills we needed, and more.

At both kink cons, I attended workshops on how to do rope, impact play, cock and ball torture (CBT), humiliation, etc. I wanted to make sure I knew exactly what I was doing, and don’t end up screwing someone else up, or breaking something/someone. These workshops taught me skills I didn’t already know, and I learnt so much from a FemDomme presenter about what I could do to a male body.

While you can learn a lot from the Internet, it is so much better to learn first hand from someone experienced, and also learn tips and tricks that they might have figured out themselves while experimenting. This is also why we encourage members to attend our skill-shares.

Finding your style

Equipped with these skills and techniques, I was still having trouble trying to top. I was constantly worried that I wasn’t giving my bottoms what they wanted, and was questioning whether they really liked it.

Speaking with a few more experienced dom/mes, they told me to worry less about what the bottom wants, but rather what I wanted out of it.

I’m not saying that the bottom is unimportant. He/she is the most important person you need to watch out for. But once you figure out what you want, it becomes a lot easier to find a bottom with similar kinks, and/or to match your kinks with your bottom’s when you are negotiating the scene.

Find out what you like. Do you want play to be sensual? Do you prefer intense, sadistic play? Are you looking for someone to wait on you and do your chores? Or are you just a rope top who just wants to tie a bottom up?

It took a bit of time and experimentation, but I’ve figured out what really interests me—rope, inflicting pain, mind fuckery, humiliation and predicament bondage. It’s so much easier now to find a sub/bottom with matching interests, and I also know that as long as I’m enjoying myself, he/she will be too.

Experiment

Play parties are great for this.

You don’t have to go into serious dom/me mode, but you can experiment with various toys and see where things take you. Because it is a group setting, you can be assured that there are always more experienced people around who can help you, or point out anything that you might be doing wrong.

The first time I topped someone was at a play party. I knew there were very experienced people in the room who were looking out for me and my bottom in case anything goes wrong, and I knew they would correct me if I did something wrongly.

I definitely recommend playing at parties to gain experience, and to watch other scenes and learn from them.

If you are experimenting in private, constant communication is key. If you are playing with an experienced sub, he/she should tell you if anything feels wrong. You should also keep checking in on your sub to make sure that things are going well.

Planning a scene

I like to have a few main things planned, and then fill in the blanks around it.

My very first scene as a domme was very simple. These were the 3 things I had planned:
- Go with him and make him buy a pet collar at the pet shop near my place—I scouted out the place prior to our play session to make sure they had collars that could fit humans.
- Play an evil predicament game—something to do with a zipper line 😉
- Use my pole as a whipping post—I had my ropes tied to the pole in preparation because I wanted to see his reaction when he saw it.
Be creative when filling in the blanks around your main points. Anything can be perverted. Go with the flow and follow your gut when inspiration hits.

I find that I become more creative when I have a partner to bounce ideas off. Therefore, when my sub gets smart-mouthed or says something interesting, I tend to pick up on that and find more evil things to do.

I told my bottom that I bought a bamboo mop handle especially for him. When I asked what implement he wanted me to hit him with, he chose the mop handle, not knowing that I had only intended to use it as a spreader bar. Well, more fun for me (and more pain for him)!

At a recent play party, a masochist I used to play with showed me an interesting contraption. This device picks up sound or music, and delivers electric shocks to the beat of the music. I had a brilliant idea. What if I left the receiving end near my bottom’s mouth. If I hit him hard enough, he will scream and the receiver will pick it up and deliver a shock. And if he screams again because of the shock … it becomes a vicious cycle.

Many times, subs end up saying things that will give you a thought-starter. I don’t know why, but their mouths like to get them into trouble a lot.

These are just a few tips from my personal journey in finding my domme side.

If you want to find out more, SLAP! will be doing a series of skill-shares around the topic of domination at our March event.

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January 16, 2015
Shibari – An introduction to Japanese rope bondage

I am Japanese Dominatrix Amrita. I am also known as an international fetish performer/fetish model. I offer pure BDSM sessions, but do not offer sexual services and nudity. One of my specialities is Japanese rope bondage; called ‘Shibari’ in Japanese. I often include Shibari in my sessions which is used to immobilize the subs and it enhances sensitivity and excitement in them, so it is effective method for BDSM sessions. For my performances as well, I do mainly Shibari bondage shows at fetish parties/BDSM events etc all around the world.

I have performed in 23 countries, mainly in Europe. In most of those countries, fetish scene/BDSM business are already established, so the perception of the audience is very good and enthusiastic. Japanese rope bondage requires expertise to make intricate ropes works, which looks artistic. I myself would rather focus on the artistic aspect of the Shibari when I perform than sexual imagery. I improvise beautiful patterns of bondage to decorate my sub model’s body, which has to be an artistic and effective bondage at the same time. Then once they are tied up, I combine with BDSM activities like whipping, candle wax, gags, and nipple clamps etc. Like all BDSM activities, it has to be consensual, and important that sub models enjoy being tied up. Otherwise it is a torture.

Japanese rope bondage is said to have originated from officer’s rope works to capture criminals in Muromachi-period(15-16th century), using it to capture and immobilize criminals, using hand cuffs, chains etc. It was also used as a form of torture as well in that period since some of the Shibari positions are really hard on the body. During that period, I doubt anyone used Shibari for sexual pleasure in their private lives. Much later, probably around late 19th century to early 20th century, Shibari started to be recognized as a sexual fetishism, and finally after the world war, a few people started SM/rope bondage shows/videos as a business.

As a dominatrix for sessions, I bondage male subs mainly. In that case, bondage is a great way for power exchange. Once I put them in bondage, even if they are big or strong guys, they become totally helpless in front of me and I can play with them as much I want, and this satisfies my dominant desire. To play SM, you may need equipment and dungeons such as hand cuffs, bondage benches or a St Andrew cross to restrict the sub’s movement. But with rope bondage, we just need several ropes to have the same effects. I like this handy aspect of bondage too. As each person has a different body and different fantasy about bondage, I use my creativity to improvise the best ways for each of them and so it is never boring.

As a performer, I bondage female sub models mostly. I really love the artistic aspect of the Shibari for the show, as if I am making decorations with my rope works on the pretty girls’ body, and the audience appreciate the beauty of this artistic bondage.

I have met many people who like to be tied up. But why do they like bondage?

There are several reasons, but mainly they feel excited to be helpless, to be immobilized. Even if you are not into BDSM, imagine you are kept in hands/ankle cuffs, attached to the bed with ropes by your loving partner/your sexual fantasy man or woman, and then you are going to be touched sensually, isn’t it exciting? You are unable to do anything and just have to take his/her teasing on your body.

I often combine bondage and BDSM actives like whipping, spanking, nipple pinching, dropping candle wax on the body, mouth gags, blindfold etc, depending on what people are into. With the bondage on, many of my subs are more sensitive to their body and can enjoy the stronger effects of those BDSM activities. Sensitivity mainly comes from their state of mind being helpless and immobilized in front of the mistress. They are opened for the pain/discipline I am going to give them, and they are under the mistress’s control and have no choice. This situation turns them on and this excitement makes their body feel more sensitive.

However, it is not necessary to combine painful activities like whipping, pinching, dropping candle wax on your body with Shibari. And Shibari itself is not a painful thing if we do it safely and correctly. It can be very sensual if we combine with soft touch, soft scratch, stimulation on sensitive parts etc.

I have heard from several people that they like the feeling of being held in the layers of ropes, they feel like they are embraced tightly which gives them the feeling of relaxation and comfort. This is a psychological aspect that deals with those people’s past experience and emotional conditions.

Images courtesy of Mistress Amrita
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January 6, 2015
Orgasm control, not a femdom-only concept

People living a vanilla lifestyle are often curious about my so different femdom life and experiences. And amongst the many questions they ask me, male chastity seems to be a predominant topic. And this is for good reason. I of course, keep my slaves in constant chastity and exercise rigid orgasm control.

This is not for punishment but for the sake of domination. Controlling my slaves’ cocks, I control their brain and thus, the whole guy. And for me, there is nothing more arousing and exciting than exercising control. Once put into chastity, any man will soon wince at my feet in agony. He will lick my soles begging for release. My dear female readers, the feeling that sight evokes is just devastating and as he is lying there at my feet, trying to make his body express his fathomless adoration, he will never know when he will cum again. There is no chance for him to even influence what lies in my sole discretion. My power over him materializes in the little key hanging on a golden chain around my neck. I might make him ejaculate in the next minute, on next christmas eve or never again. Knowledge is power. That´s why cluelessness is the fate of the slave.

The bliss that lies in this so special form of control is not an exclusive gift for dominatrixes. I think that the concept of orgasm control can spice up any relationship. For the benefit of the female part but not only for her. Believe it or not: Based on my experience I am convinced that it will work out satisfactory for the male too. Even though it might sound weird at first thought. Think back to the days when you were a little child: Don´t you remember how you were looking forward to christmas, to the event, the Christmas tree, the presents? Was looking forward not filling your dreams day and night? “Joy is always in the forecast” they say and I think there is truth in that. The male creature in chastity will phantasize about the bliss of his next orgasm. He will crave for it, he will be filled with anticipation. Just as he was looking forward to the gift giving ceremony on Christmas eve when he still was that little boy who still lives within him. And you will see how much his behaviour will change with this anticipation and with the knowledge that the decision about turning his dreams into reality is up to you. He will become heedful, attentive, considerate. You will hardly recognize the egoistic, lazy couch potato that hung around in your living room; so different now from the sloppy guy for whom the constant availability of sexual satisfaction seemed to be a natural right. We do not cherish what we can have easily, we cherish what we long for and cannot have. That´s sad but its just human. His orgasm was once of course, just an incidental matter for him Now, it will turn into a rare release that he will appreciate more than ever. And most importantly: His little brain will automatically associate this longing for climax with you.

Then when the big moment is there, he will be so grateful to you that you finally opened him up. He will lick your hands in gratitude with tears in his eyes because he will have understood by then that it is no longer him who takes what he wants whenever he feels like it. But it´s you who deliberately offers him a special gift. Believe me, I have looked into those tear-stained eyes often enough to know what I am talking about.

So, my dear readers, why don´t you give it a try? Your life will turn for the better I am sure. Start cautious and slowly. Don´t scare him off. Make a little game out of it first. Offer him a special treatment when he manages to wear the belt over the weekend. Reward him in the beginning and troke his cock in the harness more often than you did in the past when it hung loose. Rub your thighs against it. Dress up nice and tight whenever he is in chastity. Get him accustomed to the feeling. Then slowly start extending the terms. Longer and longer … Make him wear the belt every night first, then on weekdays too. Take it step by step. You will see by then that it will develop on its own and further and further … and before he even realized it, he will be caught like a fly in the spider’s web.

And, ladies, shhhh, don´t tell them: female supremacy will not arrive out of the blue. It will come in many little steps. This is one of them. And it is not the least.

All images courtesy of Mistress Ezada
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December 29, 2014
Reminiscences of an Ex-Dominatrix (Part II)

My first customer who ever booked me was very honest with me from the beginning (almost which we will get to in a bit) and I was very happy with that. He explained to me as he was 6 when he was raped by his cross-dressing uncle. Since then it has been branded in his brain and he only somehow gets the full enjoyment of pleasure by going through the scenario again and again (where I came into play). He wanted the women to put on a gigantic strap on in shiny bright color latex suits and while he was tied up, taking as hard as possible from behind without any mercy, stretching or loob. He was married, talked only positive about his wife and children and how much he loves them and he could never have a life without them (even showing me pictures, a very very uncommon thing to do). But the fact that this “demon” as he called it, was stuck inside and he couldn’t handle but to go for a session at least once a month just to get really off and go back to normal life. It was at that moment that I realized what all those men and women who were dominatrixes were telling me all along. This is when I got the gift of really listening. Not only what they are saying, but all the details too.

After emailing back and forth, we met up a month later in a hotel in Trier. My rule was first 15‒20 minutes of natural time, meaning to discuss the do’s and dont’s again in person (“personal limits”). How this was going to go down step-by-step exactly. I would then get dressed, have my glass of champagne to calm me for I was really really nervous. And then just like that, the show began. I wore a purple cat suit with a huge gigantic black and pink decorated strap-on which I had borrowed from a friend and proceeded to tie him up on the bed in a doggy-style position and did what he had asked for; said the things he exactly wanted to hear. And everything was going so well and smoothly and as I was thinking about this, I looked down and saw a huge bloodstain. I jumped up in total panic— because he was bleeding out of his bottom—ran to the phone and called an ambulance. He was so embarrassed and just kept on saying “I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry, I’m sorry. Don’t worry, you won’t be in trouble for anything. I’m sorry.” I couldn’t help but started crying, thinking that I was going to go to jail and ended being deported back (for hurting him). But as the people arrived, I was still in shock, sitting in my outfit with the strap-on on me and as they walked in and noticed me asking, “What happ … Oh! Okay. I see. Let me have a look …” I rushed into the bathroom embarrassed to the max, taking everything off upon hearing what they were saying. Suddenly, my client who was still outside said, “I know why it happened, I have inner hemorrhoids.” I burst out of the bathroom half naked and angry as a lion shouting, “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME !?”

As I left the hotel that night to get on a 2 hour train ride back home, I had plenty of time to think about everything that happened that night: a) i had to kinda evaluate my clients before sessions on the “why, how, what” of sexuality; digging as deep as possible into their sexuality in order to best understand their needs and wants. b) YOU WANT ANAL, GOTTA BRING A NOTE FROM THE DOC …

And hence throughout that whole year, I met men and women from different walks of life but all with the same need: the need for help with their sexuality. This ultimately led me to me joking with my friends about how my role has evolved to that of a sex therapist. I not only helped these individuals to understand their own needs better, they were also comforted (I know the whole thing is a bit ironic considering the fact that we are talking about BDSM, just bear with me), had a understanding and judgmental free zone to express themselves. They got exactly what they needed from me not in a proper and none “profit mode” manner but in a helping manner. I’m not saying everyone of my clients was raped as a child like my first ever customer back then. However, a lot of them—if you just ask about their sexual history and how everything became clear to them—the stories and way things happen is so unique in every case. Many a time, these individuals simply cannot explain why they like it but the ones who can, oh boy! they sure have a lot to tell and are truly entertaining—no need for popcorn or anything. I cannot list each and every one of them, but if only they knew …

The only problem I had with this was with my own sexuality after 9 months of doing this for my sexual appetite started to suffer. I didn’t enjoy sex and even lost all interest and lust at one point in time. Hence after a while, I had to make the decision to love my own vagina and my love for lust. However, even after quitting this, something weird happened. I never dropped my analyzing. To this day, I continue to analyze everyone I meet. Why do they act in this way, why do they handle things in that way? It is almost as I have become a hobby psychoanalyzer (funny given that I was never in school for it), but the thing is, i actually enjoy doing it and it has definitely helped me to help others with their stuff be it making right decisions or handling situations; making them stronger to take on their daily battles etc. In a sense, I learned how to help others in a proper way even though it was achieved through whipping and tying people up. However, if you are able to read between the lines and really get a deeper understanding of people, it’s quite remarkable to see how easy it is to help people without having the drama and fights.

And I honestly don’t think I would have learned this anytime soon if it wasn’t for my crazy roller-coaster life and i will never forget the people who have helped me in understanding this so much better in this world; through the conversations I had with clients and other SW’s in the BDSM industry. Each and every one of them will be forever remembered (yes, even the very first client I have had because without him, everything would have not turned out the way they did).

And so what do I do these days you ask? Well, I modeled for a long time in Germany (and throughout Europe) and when I became pregnant, I stopped and let life be put on hold for a while. I got married, moved back home to Washington State, and got back into 2 long loved passions: politics & erotica photography.420Photography has became a huge and new factor to the Creativity Closet. I do a lot of smokeography and films. I have also been modelling for Godsgirls since Spring 2014 and am blessed with all the love I receive on social media for my work, be it Instagram,Tumblr or GG. I don’t think I’ll be done working in the world of sex anytime soon (whether its occasional caming, making my erotica photoart, or even short videography clips on Youtube). I feel like I have so much more to say and do. My main mission is to change our views on not only nudity but overall sexuality. We shouldn’t be demonized for what we love for as long as what we love does not hurt others, we should be encouraged to embrace our passion.

So go out and spread sex positivity and together, lets change the world one step at a time!

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October 3, 2014
Reminiscences of an Ex-Dominatrix (Part I)

When I was younger, I had no idea what I wanted to do in life. Sometimes, I would say a family law attorney (because I grew up witnessing the horrible divorce of my parents and I wanted to help; I felt the need to do so). There was a time I would think that I would become a physiotherapist and help people with injuries to get them back on their feet, or I would imagine myself being an anthropologist and going out to explore the world of humanity and its cultures etc, or maybe help countries with political issues … you know what I mean. In case, you have noticed there is a similarity to all these aspirations: the dream to help. Why? To be honest, I have no idea and I simply feel this strong calling through my whole life to help others. But if you would have asked me about my life-long career and told me that my first steps in the adult industry would be in Germany at the age of 18 as a Dominatrix, my response would have been, “What is a Dominatrix?”

I had a rollercoaster lifestyle until I had my daughter and two years after finally figuring out what I would do or let’s say, what my heart had the most passion for. I did not end up being a full-time dominatrix for the rest of my life, but the brief period of my life in the world of BDSM has not only truly changed my view, but also the way the humans work. I was a dominatrix for about a year when I turned 18. I was living in Germany as a civilian then, attending school there and working on becoming a hairdresser. Sounds all pretty normal right? Except for the fact that I was a full blown punk (sex pistols style), politically active on the Left Wing movement and its many many protests throughout Germany, and had a deep passion for gothic electronic music dance parties while working as a part-time amateur model. Now, because I was active in the gothic scene at parties, this opened a different drawer in the creativity closet for me as many of the guests at such parties would wear tons of latex, PVC etc. It was not just any regular latex stuff you can get in your next door porn shop. No, we are talking about actual high quality dresses and suits (long before Miss Gaga and Katy Perry made it a thing in the pop industry). In addition, there would often be attendees and scenes such as older BDSM couples, women taking on the mistress role, hubby on the leach in short and very tight latex shorts, not to mention the very short shorts …

A friend of mine whose name I shall not mention but let’s just call her W. W was a model and dominatrix, and boy! she was one of a kind. So when life as usual every now and then takes a drastic turn, I quit my job as a hairdresser (due to major bullying within the company) and lost my apartment (because if there is something more horrible then standing 30 in line at a grocery store it’s dealing with government stuff in Germany like social help etc. That’s a major bitch and will take you forever. And so because of this, I ended up losing my apartment, job and a lot of my friends to move to Trier to stay with her for a while and figure out what I was going to do). Since I was making a bit of money but not enough to survive as a model, I decided that I needed a fresh start with everything. And that’s when W opened a whole new world to me.

She taught me everything I needed to know and just like that, I into the big world, moved all the way to Kaiserslautern and started anew with absolutely no physical experience. In a city that’s not only huge, but with a soccer stadium, multiple army bases and a lot of international tourism all going on all that town—I saw nothing but profit. And boy was I happy because I turned out to be the only dominatrix (even though prostitution is legal in Germany and trust me, there are more brothels out there then bakeries, and that in Germany trust me, has to say something). At night, I would work at a Table Dancer club and made a ton of money just for being American and being able to speak with all the soldiers who were looking for some fun. During the day, I would either model or offer SM sessions. As the session requests started flowing in like spam mail on MSN, I started to realize very quick how high the demand actually was. And armed with the W’s knowledge, I decided to use the internet and sign up to a very well-known BDSM community website in Germany BDSM community website. I interacted with other dominatrixes on tips and advice (don’t get me wrong; not many were willing to help a young fellow girl who was once in their shoes), but those who did seemed like the nicest people on earth. One thing every dominatrix has told me is that if you are not a lil familiar with psychology, you will have problems on becoming a successful dominatrix. I had no fuc*ing clue what they meant with this. So there I was on a Friday evening with some European spliffs, a few beers and Google (my best friend in the world) and started to dig much deeper into this whole BDSM thing. And the more I dug, the more I found out how much psychology has to do with our everyday life, especially sexually …

Stay tuned to tomorrow’s post for Mary Jane’s virgin dominatrix experience!

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October 2, 2014
Is Cock and Ball Torture for You?

Don’t ask me why some men like having their naughty bits punished with cock and ball torture (CBT), but they do. And my favourite bottoms are the ones that really, really do.

So picture the scene: I’m at my favourite dungeon on a Saturday night.

In walks a 4B – Beautiful, Buff, Bald, and Black, I call this the 4B’s of Destiny, because he is, destined to play with Me. Then picture him naked. His brains, name or height don’t matter, just enjoy him oiled up and blindfolded.

I check the time, this scene could last two hours and since I didn’t get a nap before starting to play at 11:30 pm, two hours of intense poking, slapping, hitting, pumping, and twisting can wear me out. Then we must be in a space conducive to fluid spillage, arm and leg room to swing and kick, and seating and/or laying options. I like my bottoms to be as comfortable as possible for the pain I inflict.

Nerve endings are beautiful things. The more sensitive the skin area is, the more nerve bundles there are to play with. They register pain and pleasure faster, and when syncopation occurs, the nerves can no longer distinguish pain from pleasure. Just watching the body writhing in reaction to the stimulus of slaps, strokes, or bites can bring the utmost delight.

Since I’m in the mood for stingy vs. thuddy pain tonight, I choose my instruments carefully. Knives are the first course to start my encounter with his skin. I trail the cool flat stainless steel blade slowly, watch the skin and fine hairs prickle in response. Then I dip the tip, creating pools of just enough pressure but not enough to pierce through the skin. Whether I use one blade or two, I create a symmetrical dance undulating across the smooth surface. I put on a pair of my Love Bites Vampire Gloves and lightly touch flesh. His skin is all goose bumps now, and I head to his throbbing cock. He’s uncut, and the extra sensitivity is what will drive him crazy with craving and mad with the intense pleasure. I slowly wrap my hand around the head, pulling the foreskin. He jumps and then leans into the gloves’ grip. He tosses his head back and forth, shaking it violently to clear the flood of chemicals in which he is now drowning. His body has signalled that I have him where I want him. Skin shudders as the nerve endings are sending both pleasure and pain messages to the brain.

A study from Radboud University Nijmegen in the Netherlands shows that men’s cognitive performances were impaired when they were around women. I was shooting for maximum cognitive failure, and the limpness of his arms, the surrendering of his cock to my use, made it clear he was mine to do with as I pleased.

It felt like I raced through the next hour and a half, teasing his flesh, making his body arch and moan. His pool of pre-cum made a sticky mess everywhere. I knew he was aching to cum and each time the tip of a blade crossed the tip of his cock or my gloves gripped his cock hard and stroked, he would spurt a little more pre-cum.

Now he was ready to be mounted. I instructed him to stand, his eyes barely coherent to my instructions, gave him water to drink, and then forced him to his knees facing my “bro” cock. He dined hungrily on it, moaning in pleasure and stroking his own cock.

April 4, 2014
Female Domination and Female Led Relationships

I was recently amused to see the following statement on Wikipedia which claimed that “71% of heterosexual males preferred a dominant-initiator role”. Wikipedia referred to a study done by Kurt Emulf in 1995 as to the source for their statement. I am here to tell you that in the last fifteen years of my experiences as a Dominatrix, and as the Dominant Partner in all of my relationships with men, the men whom I have come in contact with have proven to me that it is exactly the opposite of that published study. In fairness to that study by Emulf, I have to wonder which demographic group of men he studied. I have found that typically, male “Blue Collar” workers might fit the mold he presented. They usually have to put on the macho front and try to act like they control “their little woman”. Whereas, in almost all cases, the “White Collar” males who I have come in contact with almost all showed an attraction to Dominant Females. These men, in most cases, jumped at the opportunity of serving a Dominant Female and catering to her needs in private.

Female Domination is a relatively new term, and has primarily gained popularity over the last twenty years as more and more women have moved away from the stereotype of an “at home Mom and home maker”, and have moved into the business world with positions of increasing responsibility. While the emergence of the woman in the business place has been taking place, at the same time, another event has been transpiring. More and more of the men who are in high pressure positions within the business world have been looking for an outlet to relieve the pressure and demands which were put on them in the business world. These men have found that pressure relief valve, in many cases to be submission to a Dominatrix or allowing their wife or partner to institute a Female Led Relationship at home.

When you think of Female Domination, the first thought that jumps to your mind is that of Leather-Clad Women in black stockings and high heel pumps with stiletto heels, and rightfully so. This is the image that most men who are looking for a Dominant woman have in their minds. That is exactly why I and most Dominant women dress in Leather, Black Stockings, and High Heel Pumps or Boots most of the time. It serves two very important purposes. First, it fulfils the desires of the men who come to us looking for Domination Sessions. Secondly, when attired as mentioned above, it allows us to see the men who are attracted to us on a daily basis, and gives us an idea as to whether or not they might be a good candidate to serve us as a slave. When men can’t take their eyes off of you when you are dressed in a dominant manner, it’s usually a clear tip off of what they are attracted to.

I can tell you from personal experience, and you can also read the actual account of what happened in my book “At Her Beck and Call”, which illustrates my point. I met my husband/slave on the Internet about thirteen years ago, and determined on the first date, that he was a good candidate to become the subservient party in a Female Led Relationship. How? Very simple! I noticed right away that he could not take his eyes off my nylon clad legs or high heel pumps. When I let my dress slide up and expose the garter belt holding up my sheer nylons, he was transfixed on the image. My hunch was right as soon as I questioned him as to whether he preferred a woman in garter belts and stockings or a woman who wore pantyhose. He was embarrassed, but he admitted to me that he found my attire to be a lot sexier than a woman wearing pantyhose. Later, back at my house I confirmed that he was a good candidate for a Female Led Relationship when I pushed his face down to my high heels and he immediately began to worship them. It didn’t take me long to move our relationship along to the point where he surrendered all control over to me and became my adoring slave. I am happy to report that we’ve now been married for over ten years, and Troy is still always there at My Beck and Call.

I get this question from women all the time. There has to be more than just the dress and attire, doesn’t there? Absolutely, there has to be the correct mindset on the part of the woman, first and foremost. The woman has to want a man who will get down on his knees, worship her body, be compliant with all of her wishes, and cater to all of her needs. The woman in the relationship has to take charge and make Female Domination a reality in her relationship. It is not hard to do at all. Most women are held back by that old stereotyped image which I mentioned previously. Those days are gone, and the faster every women realizes it, the better off all females will be. Men will let you have control and will do your bidding, if you will just take the initiative and make that Female Led Relationship happen.

I am a strict believer in male chastity, and I have kept my husband locked in a Chastity Tube for many years. He has learnt that he will never get a release and orgasm unless I am totally satisfied with the number and quality of orgasms he has given to me, and totally pleased with his behaviour in our marriage. I will devote another article strictly to the how to’s on male chastity, but I need to mention one important fact here. Once a woman locks up her partner’s cock in a Chastity Tube, magic happens. The male will become more adoring, more attentive to the women’s needs, and becomes more obedient to every wish that the female should utter. Men are not controlled by their mind. They are controlled by what is between their legs, and when women realize that, take control, and institute forced male chastity into the relationship, the woman finds quickly that she becomes the Queen of the household. I’ve found that to be true ever since I locked my husband into a Chastity Tube, and I’ve also received the same feedback from every woman who I have talked with who did the same thing. The move pretty much guarantees a successful Female Led Relationship.

You do not have to be a professional Dominatrix like me to have your man kneeling at your feet, worshipping your body, giving you all the orgasms you could ever desire, and loving every minute of serving you. You just have to take control today of your relationship and make it happen. When he comes home tonight, put on that short leather skirt, garter belt, sheer stockings, and killer high heels. See what happens. I’ll bet that you can have your mate down on his knees in minutes kissing your heels, worshipping your legs, and waiting for your next command!

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March 21, 2014