Category: Sex Ed

How does someone with a disability build sexual confidence?

Have a question on your mind about sex or seeking advice? Ask us on any topic and we’ll provide you with the answers from an expert. Send them in to editorial@simplysxy.com. For today’s question, we touch on a topic related to sex and disability from you and we’re delighted to have sex educator Rebecca Dewar share her answer below.

With or without a disability, sexual confidence is built in similar ways. Education and experience are interrelated to sexual confidence. To become sexually confident, education is essential. Accurate information about human sexuality is available (books, websites, sexuality health providers like sex therapists\counselors, sexuality educators); it is important to be educated or know about your own disability regarding what you can or cannot do in relation to sexual activity for your overall health and well-being.

For example, a female with an injury and\or illness that causes severe immobility of the body (wheelchair users) should not use hormonal methods of birth control especially pills because the risk of obtaining a blood clot is greatly increased as compared to able bodied females. Education can help individuals with disabilities become interested and open minded to sexual experiences since curiosity becomes piqued. Through experiences, people with disabilities get to know their sexual likes and dislikes as well as realize what features and\or qualities they find attractive in other people. With experiences, however, the risk taking of vulnerability becomes unavoidable. In the same sense, risk taking and vulnerability lead to building sexual confidence because of being willing to try new things with others.

Rebecca has her master degrees in social work and human sexuality of which both degrees are clinically focused. Sexuality and disability is her area of interest regarding research and practice within the fields of social work and human sexuality. Read the rest of her profile below and the links to follow her!

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October 9, 2015
5 toys to make Sex more Exciting – With your Partner!

Are you and your partner losing intimacy in the bedroom? And these sex tips aren’t ‘spicing things up’? Well, here’s a suggestion: introduce your real man to your battery operated boyfriend! What have you been waiting for?! With an array of sex toys and products out there vibrators, dildos, sleeves, and more have come a long way since the days of Dr. Granville’s crank operated “electro-mechanical vibrator” back in 1883. Now, twenty-first century gals have taken things into their own hands and beyond, but maybe it’s time we pass the torch, or at least share it, with our partners. Whether you’ve explored the galaxy of women’s sexuality alone, or with partners, we have five sex products, tools and toys ahead to send you both into cosmic orgasm together.

We-Vibe Touch

For those who don’t have a boudoir packed with XXX toys already, the We-Vibe Touch is the perfect new sex toy to bring into the bedroom with your partner. This thick slick silicone toy radiates vibrations, leaving no sensitive part untouched. The center’s shallow ice cream scoop slides perfectly along your clit, and you or your partner can up the ante by controlling the settings to bring you both to star-bursting nirvana. Use alone, for foreplay, or slide inside and try it together for pleasure all around.

Lelo: Ida

A new toy from Lelo’s much loved sex tools, the Ida is designed for perfect partnered foreplay and then some, with a g-spot targeting arm and vibrating pad. Think of it as a mechanical finger stroking inside of you with enough room to accommodate your partner’s shaft and share the fun, while the pulsating base covers your clit and entire pubic mound for even more fun. To make things even better, Ida comes with a remote so, your partner can take the reins and leave you begging for more or shivering with ecstasy.

Zini Deux

Like yin & yang, this sex tool splits into equal opposites, a convex vibrator to target your clit and a concave one to hold his testicles. Ergonomically designed to comfortably fit your hand while operating the intensity controlling side buttons, the Zini Deux can be moved anywhere along your man’s member while he returns the favor. Whoever said sharing’s no fun?

Je Joue Mimi

Don’t let it’s subtle power and simple approachable design fool you, the Je Joue Mimi will revolutionize your shared sex, or solo experience. Versatile with a rounded shape for external stimulation on anyone’s body, you can hold it between you and your partner or in the palm of your hand. Get creative.

Jimmyjane Form Two

Couples love it! And why wouldn’t they with its simple and dare I say cute design? Small, manageable and easy to grasp thanks to smooth silicone, the Jimmyjane Form Two fits perfectly on your clit while having sex so, there’s no awkward bulk between you and your partner. Enjoy the adjustable settings and go as fast or slow as you please. Warning men report giving their ladies next level orgasms with this baby in hand.

Images courtesy of Adult Force One

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October 5, 2015
Tips for a couple with disabilities to enjoy sex

Have a question on your mind about sex or seeking advice? Ask us on any topic and we’ll provide you with the answers from an expert. Send them in to editorial@simplysxy.com. For today’s question, we touch on a topic related to sex and disability from you and we’re delighted to have sex educator Rebecca Dewar share her answer below.

Effective communication is an important factor between persons to enjoy sexual activity. Effective communication is learned through sexual experiences as well as it is a part of sexual confidence. I suggest for a person with a disability to talk about their disability with their partner regarding sexual activity; to do such, it means being vulnerable by taking the risk to discuss personal conditions with someone. Discussing a person’s disability is a way of opening up and establishing a line of effective communication between partners. In addition, effective communication may involve talking with each other during sexual activity of the likes, dislikes, what feels good, and what does not feel good. Also, informing each other of the pressure of touch (hard\soft) and\or thrusting motion (fast\slow) of sexual intercourse are aspects of effectively communicating with one another.

To enjoy sexual activity, another important factor to discuss is bodily positioning. Sexual activity can occur in a wheelchair. Some wheelchairs (usually motorized power wheelchairs) can recline backwards making the missionary style of sexual intercourse possible if the partnership is between someone in a power motorized wheelchair and an able bodied person. It can be a comfortable position for the person in the wheelchair because their back remains flat against the wheelchair backing keeping their back in a spinal neutral position. It may also be a comfortable position for the person in the power motorized wheelchair to receive oral sex from an able bodied person. For people who use power motorized wheelchairs, it is easier to be in bed to give their able bodied partner oral sex because the bed is less confining than the wheelchair allowing for a variety of bodily positioning. For people who use manual wheelchairs (wheelchairs moved by arm\upper body strength to the hands on the wheels) can do a version of missionary style positioning for sexual intercourse; by that I mean, the positioning consists of the person in the manual wheelchair sitting up with an able bodied person sitting on their lap face-to-face allowing for the front of the bodies (genitals) to touch each other. People who use manual wheelchairs can also give and receive oral sex.

An able bodied person can lay their back against a high flat surface such as a table or pool table or possibly sit on a countertop or bar stool type of chair to allow the person in the manual wheelchair to have mouth ease of access to their partner’s genitals. Often, a person in a manual wheelchair can transfer out of their wheelchair to a couch, bed, or recliner (La-Z-Boy type chair, etc. to receive oral sex from their able bodied partner. In bed, it can be more comfortable for the person with the disability to lay their back against a wedge for sexual activity. Also, when in bed, a pillow under the pelvic area of the body of the person with a disability can be more comfortable for sexual intercourse in relation to the pushing and thrusting motion since the pillow helps take the brunt of the movement off the lower spine. In bed, the spooning position is another comfortable way for persons with disabilities to have sexual intercourse from rear or front entry depending on the way people are laying. A variety of positions for people with disabilities exist to try to enjoy sexual activity.

Sexual enjoyment for people with disabilities often takes creativity. Creativity can be anything! For example, it is possible to use handcuffs to assist in holding a person’s limbs if the person has paralysis as a result of a disability. However, it is also significant to mention, ‘outercourse’ activities can be just as enjoyable as activities of intercourse. Outercourse activities are sensual; by that I mean, outercourse activities are arousing involving the senses (sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch) of the human body. For example, persons who gently yet firmly massage each other while music plays in the background on a low volume with a scented candle lit fits within the sexual activity of outercourse. Furthermore, some people with disabilities are unfamiliar with their bodies; so, they might not be able to express what is sexually pleasurable to them. Partners sexually exploring their bodies together can consist of outercourse practices leading to intercourse activity. Moreover, there is a certain form of sexual enjoyment for people with disabilities referring to the importance of the human touch called Pleasuring Mapping.

The concept of Pleasure Mapping is based on conscientious touch (a.k.a. tantric touch). Conscientious touch involves focusing the touch of massaging or deliberate caressing only on a single area of the body at a time allowing for sensual energy to be felt in that one area (hands, arms, face\neck, shoulders, etc.). Often, conscientious touch can help people with disabilities in intimate relationships get to know their bodies in a sexual manner with each other. Pleasure Mapping enables people with disabilities to know their bodies sexually and allows for them to know their likes and dislikes as well as communicate them with their intimate partners. Essentially, a variety of tips exist for people with disabilities in intimate relationships to enjoy sexual activity.

Rebecca has her master degrees in social work and human sexuality of which both degrees are clinically focused. Sexuality and disability is her area of interest regarding research and practice within the fields of social work and human sexuality. Read the rest of her profile below and the links to follow her!

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Do you have a question you want answered by our experts? Drop us your question at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

October 3, 2015
Can I have sex during my period?

Have a question on your mind about sex or seeking advice? Ask us on any topic and we’ll provide you with the answers from an expert. Send them in to editorial@simplysxy.com.

We have collected your questions on sexual health, and are delighted to have Bonnie Gayle to answer them below.

How deep is the average vagina and can it take the whole penis?

Vaginas come in a range of sizes just like penises. The average vagina size is 2.75 inches to about 3¼ inches when it’s not aroused and expands to 4.25 inches to 4.75 inches when stimulated. A woman’s vagina is directly in proportion to the length of her forefinger. Some vaginas are smaller and others are larger. The vagina is made of mucous tissue that is able to stretch when aroused. As the vagina expands, the muscles around it relax allowing it to take in an erect penis during sex.

Of course there are some men who are extremely well endowed which can be painful for women who have an average or smaller than average size vagina. All vaginas are unique; the look, feel, size, positioning, and how a vagina gets turned on varies.

Does being on the pill reduce a woman’s sex drive?

When a woman takes the pill she is introducing added hormones into her system which can affect her sex drive. 30% of women on the pill experience diminished sex drive, one of the possible side effects of being on the pill. This happens as a result of the hormones related to sexuality and libido decreasing.

Not every woman taking the pill experiences diminished sex drive. Some report that their sex drive has stayed the same or even increased which means that side effects vary from woman to woman.

Is it possible to have sex while she is on her period?

A woman can definitely have sex while on your period, however, not every woman wants to or feels comfortable having sex. During that time women may feel bloated, cramping, and/or moody. The first few days of a woman’s period are usually the worst and the time she wouldn’t be most interested in having sex. After those first few days, she may feel like she wants to have sex as the testosterone hormone starts rising again.

In some religions, having sex during a woman’s cycle is considered taboo because it’s considered “the body’s cleansing”. This is true, however if you’re someone who experiences horrific cramping, having intercourse and orgasm can help to release the cramping. You can use a towel for the extra mess, have fun and feel better!

On another note, some women love to have sex during their period… it’s the idea of doing something “naughty” during the supposed “forbidden time”. If this is you, you can have some fun having sex in the shower to avoid a mess or use a dark towel in case of excess bleeding. Whatever you do, make sure you continue to use protection because even though you’re on your period, contrary to what you may have heard you can get pregnant.

Bonnie Gayle, Body Image Expert and the Founder of Boudoir Butter & Sex Butter, educates hosts the podcast show on 65 networks, “Body Beautiful” covering feeling comfortable & confident in your body, connecting intimately & stepping into your sexual deliciousness. Bonnie’s believes releasing yourself from body bondage, body and sexual shame and learning to love your self are “an inside job”! Her products, Boudoir Butter & Sex Butter are sexually empowering pleasure enhancements made with organic plant-based oils to inspire your own natural juiciness!

Visit the links in her profile below to her websites and social media!

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October 1, 2015
How to talk to your child about sex

Have a question on your mind about sex or seeking advice? Ask us on any topic and we’ll provide you with the answers from an expert. Send them in to editorial@simplysxy.com.

For today’s questions, we touch on a topic related to parenting and sex ed from you and we’re delighted to have sex educator Cath Hakanson share her answer below.

A lot of parents get stumped when their children are the first to bring up the topic or mention something related to sex. How do they usually react, and if wrongly done, what is the right way to do so?

Yes, most parents are stumped by sex ed or they can even feel like they have been hit with a sledgehammer.

Sex ed is not one of those things that you plan for, it comes looking for you. Like with everything else that you do as a parent, you start to think about it as the need arises. When did you kid proof your kitchen cupboards? I did mine for a reason, ie when I found my toddler reaching into the drawers and removing my sharp knives!

Sex ed is no different, and parents usually start to think about it for a reason. It may be because your child is always touching their penis or vulva, usually at the wrong time and place, and you don’t know what to do. You could be pregnant and your child is starting to ask questions about how babies are made. Or maybe you are starting to see some signs of puberty appear in your child.

And because we are unprepared for sex ed, our response reflects that. We either try to avoid it, or limit the conversation to less intimate issues. We get embarrassed and avoid eye contact or get flustered. We may put off giving them an answer by either brushing them off or not answering them properly. Or we turn it into a discipline issue instead of using it an an opportunity to talk.

These reactions are natural and to be expected when you are unprepared for your kids to bring up something related to sex.

The best way to change this reaction is by being prepared.

Start learning as much as you can about issues that are relevant and that they are interested in eg puberty, pregnancy, body parts.

To make life easier for yourself, have back-up information that you can refer to. There are some fantastic books out there that you can read with your child.

Start thinking of sex ed as an ongoing conversation. Kids learn best in small bites, so remember that it is about lots of little conversations, frequently.

Remember to keep it short and sweet, and try to keep it casual and everyday. Talk about masturbation as if you are discussing your plans for the weekend.

Sometimes you need to plan ahead. Some kids ask questions and some just don’t. So plan to start the conversations yourself. Try practicing what you plan to say (and how) with your partner or a friend.

Visit Cath’s profile below and all the links to her website and social media.

Want to learn more about sex ed, sign up for Cath’s newsletter where you will receive regular, tips, practical strategies and encouragement delivered straight to your inbox.. it’s free! http://eepurl.com/bleBaj

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September 29, 2015
Common myths about Sex and Disability

Have a question on your mind about sex or seeking advice? Ask us on any topic and we’ll provide you with the answers from an expert. Send them in to editorial@simplysxy.com. For today’s question, we touch on a topic related to sex and disability from you and we’re delighted to have sex educator Rebecca Dewar share her answer below.

The most common misconception of sexuality and disability surrounds the myth individuals with disabilities are asexual. Asexual regarding individuals with disabilities refers to void of sexual feelings and\or desires; so, the myth is the belief just because a person has a disability (any type of disability) also means a person who has a disability does not feel sexual excitement (a.k.a. horny) or the extreme liking of another person (a.k.a. attraction). Another misconception is the belief people with disabilities are not sexually desirable (a.k.a. unattractive) individuals because of being considered “not normal” in appearance and\or cognitive ability.

People with disabilities (any type of disability) should only have sexual relationships with and marry other people with disabilities is a myth across the board regarding the topic. Other common myths include people with disabilities do not need sexuality education as well as people with disabilities do not get sexually assaulted. In addition, different myths are attached to individuals with physical disabilities vs. individuals with cognitive challenges (intellectual\developmental disabilities). For example, it is a common myth people with physical disabilities are unable to have sex; people with cognitive challenges often are considered sexually aggressive.

The myths mentioned are all false beliefs! Asexuality can be viewed more as an individual’s choice in relation to one’s sexual orientation, behavior, and identity. People with disabilities are sexual human beings and can express their sexuality in a variety of diverse ways; so, for lack of better words, it is insensitive to assume people with disabilities are asexual. Just like “normal” human beings, people with disabilities do feel horny as well as have their own specifics of what is attractive to them in others. People with disabilities are viewed as unnatural and undesirable because of physical impairment, possible bodily disfigurement, and\or challenges with cognitive processes. However, contrary to the societal popular misconception, attraction to body disfigurement dates way back to Ancient China (10^th Century) when foot binding was a common practice done to girls. The practice of preventing the growth of young Chinese girls’ feet by tightly binding each foot was torturous yet considered beautiful. Often, people with cognitive challenges are viewed as undesirable because of the assumption they do not know about sex.

Everyone learns about sex from somewhere – hopefully, the information is accurate! People with cognitive challenges may need to be taught about sexuality, but desire should not be based on development of needing skills. The phrase “birds of a feather flock together” does not apply to sexuality and disability! Individuals with disabilities may not want to have sexual relationships with and\or marry other people with disabilities depending on their attraction and relationship style. People with or without disabilities need sexuality education! School systems often only teach on basic male and female anatomy as well as “preach” the message to avoid pregnancy; frequently, students in special education classes do not receive the information. There is much more to be educated on regarding sexuality than just anatomy and pregnancy prevention! It is sadly true people with disabilities are sexually assaulted; in some cases, sexual assault has been the only sexual experiences of people with disabilities. Often, people with disabilities do not tell anyone about being sexually assaulted; so, the trauma is often buried within persons with disabilities who have been sexually assaulted. It is an absolutely ca-ray-zee misconception people with disabilities are thought to be asexual, unattractive, and undesirable yet are considered to be sexual “enough” to be sexually assaulted! It is clear to see the absurdity within the myths.

Where did the myths or misconceptions come from regarding sexuality and disability? Good question! The Theory of Social Constructivism can be looked at to provide an explanation. The theory provides the perspective of examining links between subjective meanings and how they become social facts. Subjective meanings of social interactions are studied with a big piece of the theory coming from cultural development in relation to societal messages passed on through time. To change myths or misconceptions, it takes a person or persons to become educated and let their voices be heard by writing, public speaking, lecturing, teaching, etc. on different viewpoints to debunk false beliefs.

Rebecca has her master degrees in social work and human sexuality of which both degrees are clinically focused. Sexuality and disability is her area of interest regarding research and practice within the fields of social work and human sexuality. Read the rest of her profile below and the links to follow her!

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September 26, 2015
Solve sexual health issues with squats!

Squats will do more than help you get a nice booty and thighs of steel; it is one of the best exercises for strengthening the internal muscles in the pelvic floor.

Now the term ‘pelvic floor’ refers to the group of muscles that form a muscular hammock across the opening of the pelvic.

These muscles, together with the surrounding tissues, keep all our sexual and reproductive organs in place so they can function properly.

And why do we want a fit and healthy pelvic floor?

So we don’t experience problems like impotence, incontinence, urinary problems, prolapsed organs… and the list goes on!

Now what I LOVE about squats, is that they are super effective in strengthening the Pubococcygeus muscle (or PC muscle), which forms part of the pelvic floor.

When you push up from a squat you naturally contract the PC and anal muscles, so over time the men will develop more penis control and the women, more vaginal control.

When we orgasm our muscles contract – so that’s why the more control you create the more intense your orgasms will be.

Of course as you build more muscle mass in your thighs and buttocks the demand for blood from your heart increases.

As a result, your groin receives more of the energy-rich blood you need to maintain an erection.

(Not just in men, as women’s clitoris’ become erect when they get aroused too!)

This is why squats are so beneficial for men who have erection issues!

This extra thigh strength you’ll get from squats also means you can dance with much more freedom when you’re in the on-top position.

For the women, combining squatting with vagina activation is key for allowing us to have the stamina for on-top lovemaking.

And those sexy moves you see pole dancers doing, helps open all of this area – so if you’ve been curious about pole dancing, I suggest giving it a go!

But the great thing about squats is they engage all the pelvic muscles and all of your internal organs.

They help open up the groin, they help our digestive system to have healthier elimination, they help us release tensions that cause lower back pain, and they increase the energy circulation in our leg meridians.

Why is this important?

These meridians actually bring chi (or energy) to our sexual organs.

This is so so important, because if you have any energetic blocks in your groin, that can inhibit sexual function.

Most of the activities we do in the Western world actually promote a tight groin.

For instance, if we spend more than an hour per day sitting in a chair, it can create a tight groin.

Most of us are so accustomed to feeling this that we don’t think of it as being bad.

Tight groins often result in or are accompanied by a tight sacrum and sore lower back.

So this week I’m recommended everyone do at least one set of squats daily.

Start with as many squats as you can do right now, and as your strength and stamina improve, slowly build up.

This article has been republished with permission from Tamara Mercieca

Please visit Tamara’s website to view the original post and more of her works.

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Have an amazing experience or tips you like to share on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

September 25, 2015
3 Favorite Sex Positions for Orgasm
I enjoy sex and on a scale off 1-10…. it’s an 11 for sure. It may be my age (that I will never tell :)) but if sex were offered on a daily basis or hourly, I’m in!!! 🙂

How many different positions I try before reaching an orgasm depends on the guy. I have had a few partners where I have came from only trying one position. Those guys had larger cocks but am not dismissing the ones with smaller ones. On average, I would have to say that I try two or more positions before cumming. My favorite happens to be on top!

Recommended sex positions to enjoy the following sensations
- Deeper penetration for him
I would say from behind (doggie style), that way he can spread her ass cheeks and get as deep as he wants.

But from a personal experience, I found the deepest penetration was when he grabbed my hips and pulled me back towards him as hard as he could while in the same position.
- To make your vagina feel tighter
I am a strong believer in Kegel exercises so I feel that it is a huge part in making the vagina feel tighter for the man. But for a sex position I would have to say that the woman laying on her stomach with legs closed and the man on top, behind her thrusting makes her feel tighter for him.
- To reach your G-Spot
I would have to recommend what I call the “Cowgirl” position. This position gives me, the female, all control on how deep or shallow the penetration is. On that note, in some cases, it depends on the size of the mans’ cock. The bigger the less penetration, or the smaller the deeper the penetration. From personal experience, for the man to reach the G-Spot would be a good 6 to 8 inch curved up cock.

3 of my favorite sex positions
- Doggie Style
I have always loved this position for the deep penetration that I get, from the deep hard thrusts. I have always found the best place for this position is on the floor for total control from the man. For the nights that I want to be dominated. I think to make this position kinky or kinkier is to bring in some props like a dog collar, a whip and of course a nice ass spanking as I love those.
- Women on top (cowgirl)
This is my favorite of all time. Two variations to this are the “cowgirl” and the “reverse cowgirl” and in doing either, I have full and total control of my man. Anything I may choose to do to him…… I can spur him with my heels, pinch his nipples and pull his hair but best of all I can take all of his cock deep inside me and watch him squirm. This position can be carried out anywhere and anytime. My experience was in the honeymoon capital of the world, Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada with my boyfriend (at the time) at dusk on one of the lookout towers. It made me so hot. Thought we were going to get caught a few times because people were staring and pointing but we continued anyway, finished and went on our way. It was amazing!
- Standing
I love this one because the tables are turned and the man is now in control of you. pushing you against the wall from behind or in front. It can be a passionate love making position but then it can be a dirty kinky position also. I myself like the dirty kinky, I leave the missionary for the passion. The dirtier the better, any wall will do for this position, your man grabs you, pulls your pants down or your skirt up slides your panties to the side and takes you. Any time, any where, all you need is a wall. My boyfriend couldn’t wait one night to get back to the hotel room so the hallway was our wall, very dirty and kinky considering there are cameras in the hallways. We did get kicked out of that hotel that night, but what a night to remember:).

“A girl should be two things: Who and What she wants!” (quote by Coco Chanel.) That is me a free spirited Canadian girl that loves life, family and friends. I’m a true romantic at heart, but the naughty girl next door. I want to be that girl in everyone’s dirty dreams, so I am currently making that happen as a cam model. Enjoying every bit of life, in every way! Follow me on:

@kittiepusspuss

myfreecams.com/KittieLee

Images courtesy of Kittie Lee
Have an amazing experience or tips you like to share on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!
September 23, 2015
2 Tips to make using Condoms more fun when they’re required

Sex has always been something I’ve loved! And why wouldn’t I?? Why wouldn’t anyone? Sex is Great!! The ability to let go and feel in the moment, along with all the pleasure and excitement that comes with the connection is beyond anything else in this world! I see sex as a way to not only connect on a deeply intimate level with someone you’re attracted to, but also a way of being able to connect with oneself. The exploration of sex is an area with so many possibilities and so much pleasure, not to mention the huge health benefits that are said to come along with sex: Stress release, can help lower blood pressure and can help improve your immune system. Great exercise, and sex, always seems to help me sleep better since relaxation comes easily afterwards!

The one thing with sex that’s not always so much fun is the condom issue. We all know that they’re necessary at times, but how do they make the experience feel? And how can the necessary use of condoms be better? Can you make using a condom a little more fun and not such a show stopper when it comes to being in the moment?

If asked, most people will say, including myself, that sex without a condom is better. The slippery, bare, skin on skin feeling with the right person, along with the psychological bare skin connection is unbeatable! It’s not just you ‘guys’ that feel that way either… We girls love that feeling, too, and because we’re emotional creatures, bare skin sex is a total turn on emotionally as well!! But sometimes, condoms are an absolute must. For those times when you’re with a partner you’re not so familiar with or in a non-committed relationship or chance encounter/hookup, how can the condom requirement become more a part of the experience, rather than a hindrance to the moment? As far as I’m concerned there are 2 key things that need to be addressed in order to create a better experience: the feel of sex with a condom and actually putting a condom on.

First, there’s the ‘feeling’. One thing to remember is that even though you may need to use a condom, the pleasure derived from the experience can still rank up there in the top 10. For example, in a situation where condoms are required, the level of concern you might have if you didn’t use one is lowered considerably, as you don’t have to worry so much about what might ‘come up’ after the fact. Condoms can definitely help put your mind more at ease there, making the moment much more enjoyable. And using the right condom will certainly up the pleasure aspect of the experience for both parties.

While condom type is a personal preference, I’ve found the ultra-thin versions to be a better experience in comparison to regular or ribbed types. But again, that’s my personal preference. While I haven’t tried ALL the varieties out there, I have tried a few and found Trojan Thintensity to be my favorite. I’m sort of a Trojan brand girl, but again, that’s just me. There’s also a latex-free condom from LifeStyles called SKYN that I have tried a few times and found them to be pretty great, too, but as I said, I happen to be more of a Trojan girl. That’s just my ‘brand’ of preference. There are so many different types and brands out there now, that it’s best to find what works for you through experimentation.

Just an FYI: On the news front with condoms, they’re now working on creating condoms that feel even more skin-like using hydrogels (the type of material used in contact lenses and what not), so that’s kind of exciting! While they’re still in the R&D phase of hydrogel use, it’s definitely something to watch for to see what they come up with!

http://www.psfk.com/2015/04/next-generation-condom-self-lubricating-biodegradable-hydrogels.html#.VdxqMXuTa-M.twitter

The second very important aspect of using condoms is the act of putting the condom on. That in itself can chop things up and take some of the sexy out of the moment. So the question is: how do you make putting the condom on more part of the moment rather than a proverbial show stopper? It’s all in the technique. This one happens to be for the ladies, but it definitely keeps the motion moving forward without much pause. The only pause would be to get the condom, so have it nearby if at all possible. For you guys, maybe you can ‘suggest’ this one to your girl and see if she’s up for trying it out. One caveat for the technique I’m going to propose… go un-lubricated when possible. The reasons will be obvious as you read on…

First, you’ll want to get your guy hard, or at least a little more than half way, so do what you do the way you do it to get him going… Once he’s there, take the condom out and use your finger to find which way the condom unfolds, all the time, maintaining eye contact with that sexy, I’m going to fuck you look. Once you’ve done that, take the condom and place it right on the inside edge of your lips so that it’s between the inside of your lips and your teeth. Make sure that you place it so that it unrolls into your mouth… then, give him a smile as he’s lying there, or standing there in front of you while you’re on your knees, and take him in your mouth and slowly roll the condom on while you have him there. You’ll most likely have to use your hand as you go down to help roll the condom on, but they never seem to mind that!

Now you can totally practice this ahead of time to perfect things. Just use a dildo, or anything about that size, and practice putting it on using your mouth. It’s not that tough and you’ll get the hang of it pretty quick! Once you do, he’ll love it, and it really does make the whole condom placement much more fun, while taking the major pause to put one on out of the picture.

Once you’ve got this technique mastered, and know what condom style you like best, the condom experience can be just as satisfying as having sex without one, with the added security and peace of mind knowing that you are both more protected from any unfortunate issues that could come up later. Another tip for condom types if you’re not sure what style to use: The ultra-thin’s are usually a good default choice, just because the guys are most likely going to favor them for more feeling… and more feeling is Always better!!

Also, remember to go with the non-lubricated type, because using this technique to put a condom on, while still possible, does not taste good at all. You can always use a condom safe lubricant after putting it on, if you need to. So find your favorite condom style, practice putting them on using the blowjob method, and then have some protected sexy, uninterrupted fun when condoms are a requirement!

I’m Jessie Ashlen, a professional, upscale companion/escort for those gentlemen looking for that unique experience that encapsulates the temporary girlfriend, muse, and confidante all in one. Visit the rest of my profile and the links to my sites below!

Featured image courtesy of Shutterstock
Have an amazing experience or tips you like to share on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

September 22, 2015
Multiple female orgasms and what men don’t get about it

Occasionally my body just sort of skips over the actual orgasm. I get excited, I feel myself getting closer and closer and then all of a sudden I no longer feel excited. It is a bit of a let-down because orgasms do feel so amazing. I have had this happen while masturbating (which is really confusing because I am obviously doing what I like) or with a partner. But, I can get to orgasm in so many different ways; so I just take a break for a moment and go for it again (and am usually successful).

Multiple Orgasms!

I most definitely am capable of multiple orgasms. I really don’t need any recovery time between orgasms. Just like a man’s penis can be extra sensitive after they orgasm, my clitoris is incredibly sensitive. I can go again right away, I just prefer to give my clitoris a small break. That being said, there are times that it is nice to just bask in the feelings after a really strong orgasm.

In the last couple of years, I got into BDSM with a partner. I have been able to have multiple orgasms for as long as I can remember. But it was not until this relationship that I discovered how many orgasms I can really have when I just relax and let my body do its thing. I believe this is partially due to the level of trust we shared. I had no fear of my body doing weird things. I turned my body over to him and the results were phenomenal. I have had so many orgasms that I lost count; I eventually fell asleep exhausted and dehydrated.

I cannot tell you how many times I have heard a woman say “I cannot get off during oral sex, I’m too scared that I’ll pass gas or something horrible”. Have I done that? Absolutely, and I have never had a man get upset or make a big deal about it. The typical response has been “it is super sexy how much you get into it”! You have to relax, listen to your body and allow yourself to feel the pleasure.

What the men don’t get about orgasms

I think the biggest thing men don’t seem to understand is that we don’t all reach orgasm the same way. Some ladies require clitoral stimulation to orgasm, some can reach orgasm by just g-spot stimulation. Some lucky ladies (like myself) can get off by nipple stimulation. I have had partners that were “trained”, so to speak, by their previous partner. They do the same thing over and over again whether or not it is working.

My best advice for men is to listen to the woman they are with. Ask questions if she does not seem to be responding to what you are doing. If she moans or trembles, explore what you are doing more. Let her know that you care about her pleasure and find it sexy when she is enjoying herself.

I am Staci, an independent escort from Portland, Oregon. But I like to think of myself as more of a no-strings girlfriend. I grew up in a conservative (read: sexually repressed) small town environment. I moved to the city, found my sexuality and never looked back! Click on the links in my profile to visit my website and Twitter!

Featured image courtesy of Staci Ash
Have an amazing experience or tips you like to share on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

September 21, 2015