Category: Lifestyle

  • Getaway Sex

    Getaway Sex

    It’s 1 a.m. I lay beside a sleeping man, my boyfriend. He’s sprawled out on his back, deep in slumber.

    I’m horny.

    Now maybe normally, if we were at home, I’d just make myself go to sleep. We’d both have long days to face ahead of us—him, with his work running a hostel and me with mine of teaching English to elementary kids. We’d need our energy, which means we’d need our sleep.

    But this isn’t normally. We’re on day two of a four-day holiday, and that means we can use our energy and how we choose to. Either tomorrow … or tonight.

    So I start to give him head.

    I remember years ago, a boyfriend I had asked me why I never woke him up for sex. The thought had genuinely never occurred to me before, and while I could see where he was coming from, I didn’t see its appeal.

    “I wouldn’t want him waking me up for sex,” I thought. So I just did what I do in those situations and agreed with him while simultaneously shoving that in the “things I’ll never do” mental file.

    But tonight, some nine years later, I pick up that thought and move it to my “good ideas” file. Yes, this is excellent. And I can tell by the way he’s moving under me that he agrees.

    I haven’t had a lot of serious boyfriends in my life and over the years, I’ve become really stingy with how I spend my time. I often make it a priority to share any special moments (like holidays, birthdays, or trips), with friends and not guys I’m seeing so that later, those memories are about times I spent with friends—not about how Johnny X came/didn’t come through.

    So this is the first time in years and years that I’m spending a getaway with a boyfriend. I was apprehensive at first—I know travelling with a significant other can sometimes result in Richter-scale level fights, and I just assumed those fights would find me and him.

    But this trip has been nothing like that. Instead, getting away and getting out of the context of our normal lives has shown me how well we reinforce each other. He’s been like my backbone and mind reader this trip. We travelled to Samcheok, a beach in Korea 3 hours east of Seoul, with 2 other couples, and he and I have never been more in tune. When someone suggests something we’re not into, we only need to look at each other—and then he speaks up.

    These are my friends, so he’s agreed to take the loss and be the disagreeable one so I can keep the group harmony (and I didn’t even have to ask).

    And we spend the entire day with him whispering in my ear “I want to fuck you right now,” which means that the sex on our trip has been some of the best sex we’ve had since we first got together.

    Going on a mini-vacation together showed me that I picked a partner who is well-suited to me and we flow well as a couple. It not only spiced up our sex, but also reinforced our mental and emotional connection. For couples who are considering traveling together or experiencing a little bit of a lag, I definitely recommend a mini-vacation as a way to spice things up/see your relationship more clearly.

    Image courtesy of Shutterstock
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  • What is ‘Love’ ?

    What is ‘Love’ ?

    Love. Doesn’t it seem that ‘love’ can have a life of its own?  Love seems to change, grow, shrink, dissolve, or even fade away at times. Sometimes it seems to just simply vanish or disappear? Why it that? And why does ‘love’ seem to be so elusive for so many people?

    Yes, sadly it is the case that when you first meet that other person who will be (or is supposed to be) the other 50% of your relationship, they usually put up what I call ‘the representative self’. By this, I mean you see the better side of that person … usually. After a while when you get to know them a little better, that mask can come off. Some people of course, have the ‘what you see is what you get’ and if you don’t like it, you can leave any time you like.  At least they’re honest right? No false pretenses, no bling bling, no image to maintain, and no representative self.

    Ok. Now back to “love”. How many times have we heard, “Yes, but I love him/her!”  Or how about, “I am so in love”?  On the flip side there’s “I don’t love him/her anymore. I want out of this relationship.”

    Whenever I hear anybody talk about ‘love’ in relationships such as marriage, boyfriend/girlfriend etc, I wonder what that person’s actual definition of ‘love’ is? Have you ever wondered that? Have you ever asked yourself that question and given yourself an honest answer? Sometimes, getting the answer involves peeling off some layers of what you are and knowing your likes and dislikes. It also involves knowing your own shortcomings and being honest enough with yourself to acknowledge them. Before any change or changes can be made, one first needs to acknowledge those areas where one can improve upon. Of course, there are those individuals who believe they are perfect and need to change nothing about themselves. My advice is to not get too close to such individuals because nothing is ever their fault.

    Take a moment and think about the following. If you were mugged on the streets, would you ‘fall in love’ with that thief? Of course not. Why? Because that person did something that was not pleasant to you. Remember, we like/love those things that please us. In other words, we like/love what fills our wants and needs.

    Now this is where it can get a little tricky but it can be much much easier if you go into a relationship knowing your ‘self’, your likes and dislikes, and what your wants and needs are. This can also be applied to all other circumstances in life. It can help you to avoid toxic relationships or to make better career choices, hobbies, special interests, and to create a productive circle of friends.

    So once you have established just what you like and dislike for the individual ‘you’, you can begin to lay the foundation of your definition of ‘love’. Hopefully it is not superficial in that you are only focused on what that other person can do for you. A relationship will fail at some point in time if it is all take and no give. And hopefully it is not based upon materialism or helping to prop up an image for yourself.  A healthy relationship is made of gives and takes while growing and maturing at the same time.

    A very important aspect of a healthy, loving relationship is when one feels great pleasure in doing something for the other. If one simply takes, takes, takes, and offers nothing or next to nothing in return … then I would have to say that that is not ‘love’. That is simply a ‘what can I get out of it?’ and it is built on very shaky ground. Some may even call it usury.

    So, is there a universal definition of “love” that can be used as a foundation in relationships? I believe there is. I know my definition and I’d like to hear yours or any comments from you, the readers.

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  • Is Coming of Age Bothering You?

    Is Coming of Age Bothering You?

    The other day I was sitting reading the paper with a coffee and watching people stroll by when I saw a man I hadn’t seen in a long time. We can call him Peter. Peter is in his mid seventies and is a retired accountant. He spends most of the year in sunny Spain and a few weeks back in England where he is from. He has been a widower since several years. I met Peter at a BBQ a couple of years back and I found him an easygoing man with a lot of fun stories to tell. We don’t live close to each other, but we always run into one another a few times a year.

    Peter might be old, but he is not dead, and every summer he finds some nice young girl to keep, yes, he is a sugar daddy. I have met a couple of his previous girls and they are all in their mid twenties and very good looking.

    When he saw me sitting alone, he asked if he could join me, and after the usual chit-chat I noticed he looked a bit off. He had a vacant look on his face, and seemed to be a bit down. I asked him what was going on and this is what he told me.

    He had met a new girl a week or so before and she had moved in with him in his villa. Everything was going great until one afternoon. He had been to the grocery store and had told her he would visit a friend after. The friend wasn’t at home so he got back earlier than planned. When he entered the living room, he found his girlfriend on the sofa watching a porn flick on the plasma screen. He was surprised since he didn’t own any porn movies.

    When she noticed him; instead of turning off the movie she let it play and began to tell him how hot she was and how much she wanted him. Naturally, he went along and after the sex he asked her where she got the movie from. She told him she had downloaded it on his laptop and then burnt a DVD.

    When he finished the story I asked him what the problem was. Obviously the girl was into him. He said that while having sex on the sofa, she kept watching the movie, and he felt she got more turned on by what she saw than from him. He was worried that she needed to see younger guys to get turned on and to have sex with him.

    I thought for a while and realized he might be right. Some people say that women don’t like porn, but I disagree. I think certain types of porn are not exciting for women. Personally, I hate when they spit on cocks or anuses to lube them. I think it’s nasty, but that’s my opinion. I tend to like movies with some kind of backstory, (I know, they are hard to find), but something that moves the story forward. I like to see young, hot, and well hung men. I like lesbian scenes or three sums.

    Over the years, I have enjoyed a good porn flick with a boyfriend, but I don’t remember watching it as a substitute for him. What I mean is that I don’t need the movie to be turned on. It is more of a combination of being with him and watching. A bit like ice cream and chocolate sauce, both are good on their own, but better together. I can also enjoy a movie by myself and get turned on, but it’s not something I do often.

    I told Peter that if what happened really bothered him, he should talk to the girl and explain what he felt. He said that in the end, it didn’t really matter since she was just a summer fling. When he left I watched him go, and I felt a bit sorry for him. I guess he had realized that maybe it was time to give up the sugar daddy act and accept he was at an age where he might not excite young women any longer, and maybe try to meet someone his own age.

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  • A Safe Space

    A Safe Space

    When the term ‘gay lifestyle’ is mentioned, an image of intoxicated hot topless men dancing to the beat of David Guetta’s Titanium, comes to mind.  Even though this imagery is not what the LGBT community would like to be stereotyped as, we need to acknowledge the importance of having a safe space for the community to let loose and just hang out.

    A safe space is a place where the community can go to be who they are and not be judged by what they do. Many of these safe spaces exist in our society as gay bar and clubs. On 26 April 2014, PLAY, a popular Singapore LGBT club, had a One Night in Sentosa (O.N.S) event at Azzura Beach Club.  The night was not shy of drag queens shows, party rockers downing Grey Goose on the dance floor and watchers ogling at man-cleavage while DJ Zack C brought the house down. Although the event was a success, we have to remember that PLAY closed down late last year. The key reason they closed down was due to high rental, which went up by 200%. Even though PLAY will reopen in a new location in the future, we still need to ask “Is the pink dollar strong enough sustain such a LGBT-centric business?” Are we doomed to lose our safe space due to the economy?

    Taking a look around the Asia-Pacific region, many major cities have a thriving LGBT scene. Thailand is filled with gogo boy bars, saunas and an active clubbing scene. The acceptance of the community in Thailand makes it one of the top LGBT vacation spots. Recently, the country had their annual New Year festival: the Songkran festival. Songkran has become a ‘must go’ event on the pink calendar. Proclaimed as Asia’s biggest gay party—Song Kran 8—organised by gCircuit spans three night parties and two pool parties, all packed into three fun-filled days. This is one water festival that will leave you thirsting for more. In contrast, how does a country with the lack of safe space impact the community?

    In Vietnam, there are not many places for the community to meet; whether to make new friends or find a partner. Many lead a straight life. Meetups happen through traditional methods like word of mouth or when one is brave enough to approach a fellow pink stranger. Luckily, the age of the internet has allowed a safe space to take refuge in the form of online communities. Online forums and smart phone apps have become a staple for self-expression. It has allowed many people who otherwise, will never meet to cross paths.

    However, technology can never truly replace a physical safe space that allows you to be comfortable in your own skin. It is unfortunate that many in the LGBT community still lead a closeted life. Putting on a façade for a 9-to-5 job; 5 or more days in the week. They are contributing members in society and they take care of their family. Being who you are is a privilege that not everyone can enjoy. It is always nice to have a safe space to where you can put on your dancing shoes, have a Jägerbomb and be reminded that “I am titanium.”

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  • Quick Fix for Sexless Relationships?

    Quick Fix for Sexless Relationships?

    If you’ve experienced how verbose I am about any sexual or relationship topic, you won’t be surprised to hear me respond NO to the above query.  However, there are two basic questions you can ask yourself to start digging at the foundation of a lacklustre sex life:

    1. What does having sex mean to you?
    2. What does not having sex mean to you?

    When I write “mean,” I’m referring to the compelling emotions surrounding these questions.  For example, one woman I presented the first question to exploded, “What does it mean? It means I’m just taking care of my husband like I have to take care of the house, the kids, and my clients at work.”  Yikes.  Lots of underlying resentments. Generally resentments represent needs that aren’t being met.  In this case, she was not feeling nurtured and cared for, and feeling overwhelmed with emotionally managing so many others.

    In another case, I asked a male client in a “sexless” marriage what not having sex meant to him.  He sadly replied that he was unable to have a level of closeness and intimacy he craved, intimacy that made him feel good about himself and connected to his wife.  Having sex with his wife validated his self worth as a man and a loving husband.

    When sex is “missing” in a relationship, just trying to spice up the excitement level rarely addresses the depth of the hurt, resentments, and walls that have built up. Gently pulling back the layers of hurt and disconnect and replacing them with appreciation and vulnerability (with a kick of creativity) is the best “quick fix” I can recommend.

    This article has been republished with permission from our contributing author, Dr. Jennifer Gunsaullus. Please visit Dr. Jenn’s website to view original post and more of Dr. Jenn’s works.

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  • “Shhh! There Are Children Present.”

    “Shhh! There Are Children Present.”

    A funny thing happened at yoga.

    I’ve been taking Marcia (9) and Cindy (7) to yoga with me.  I agree with author Peggy Orenstein that it’s a wonderful practice for young girls.  My daughters seem to like it and the other participants seem to enjoy the youth factor and aren’t the least bit curmudgeonly… or so I thought.

    Yesterday, the intention from the instructor was for fathers since this is Father’s Day weekend.  She talked about fathers and their roles and the love of a father etc etc.  I was in my own head at the time, but when we were warming up our spines in cat stretch pose she mused that the very first father cat knocked up the mother cat many years ago.  An older woman admonished the instructor out loud that there were children present.  The instructor was a bit confused, she must not have realized what she could have said in that moment that could have been offensive because she said “I’m sorry?” and the woman repeated “there are children present”.  As it was, neither of my girls heard the instructor’s comment and now wanted me to tell them what just happened.  I leaned over to Cindy and told her, “that woman didn’t want the instructor to say that the father cat knocked up the mother cat because you guys are here. Knocked up is another way to say got pregnant”.  Cindy, now
    in downward facing dog pose, just slowly shook her head in mild amusement.  The instructor giggled after she saw me lean over to Cindy and asked incredulously, “Did you just tell her?!” Trying to regain the peace in the room quickly, I simply nodded yes.

    This situation really amazed me.  Such an innocent comment WHICH NEITHER CHILD HEARD prompted someone to pierce the peace and serenity of the group with such sex negativity.  Even if they had heard the comment, my girls didn’t know what the term “knocked up” meant yet.  It was an adult projecting their own sex-obsessed thinking onto what children should or shouldn’t know.

    Just think how much work we would have to do every minute of every day if we worked to censor everything that has a sexual meaning or connotation.  I can’t imagine that.  I think it’s best to talk about it and make it all a non-issue.  Sex is there.  Everywhere.  It’s present at the grocery store at the checkout aisle in the magazines.  It’s on TV in the ads during the sporting events they watch with dad.  It’s in the way teenagers dress (namely teenage girls) when we pass them on the way to school in the morning.  Plus, what would be accomplished by censoring?

    A wise colleague, Paul Johannides, who authored the book The Guide to Getting it On, recently wrote that sex education has evolved into sex prevention.  As parents and adults who deal with children and their little persona’s and who want our children to grow up into sexually healthy adults, sex PREVENTION is not the route we should be going. Can anyone argue with that?

    This article has been republished with permission from Lanae St.John. Please visit Lanae St.John’s website  to view the original post and more of Lanae’s works.

    Images courtesy of Shutterstock.

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  • Desire

    Desire

    I want to be desired deeply as I desire.  I want to be touched with the longing of the continuous curiosity of my flesh, mind and soul.  To be consumed in passion is like a good high.  Better than alcohol or weed and as strong as dancing to Pink’s “Raise Your Glass” at full blast.  Sometimes I get that feeling of desire when I am in the eyes of a purser.  That man or woman who wants to be inside of you; that feeling is awesome.  The object of desire, the object of the chase.  Right now as I write this in a remote part of Northern Thailand, the only ones desiring me like their life depending on it are the mosquitoes.

    So in the wee hours before dawn when I awoke again with this hunger for desire, I had to ask the hard question.  Am I desirable?  My first thought was to look in the mirror.  But I know what I look like and what I can look like when I primp.  Self-improvement of the physical body is not the means to the end I desire.  And attraction for my physical beauty is not my aim.  Desire is deeper when it’s internal heat that is generated.  Beyond the pretty surface there is something more.  Something I want this person to want with me; not of me.

    So I dig a little deeper and look at what I’m desiring.  I desire the heavens.  The knowledge and the ability to walk among the stars, galaxies and planets of other worlds.  My curiosity is for more beauty.  Though every day I try to soak in the beauty of this planet, I desire more.  Am I greedy?  I suppose I am.  And I desire someone who has the same desires.  The passion that pulls us through the worm holes and vortexes together in an orgasmic arch!  Whew that’s a good fantasy for me.  But where and how?

    Recently I heard a senior instructor at Taoist retreat espouse the goals of the Taoist life: health, wealth and longevity.  My thought was then what?  And is that all you got? They have exercises that frankly sound and look silly to my western mind, but if believed and practised, I’m sure you will feel better and live longer.

    BDSM has taught me that to create a continuous stream of desire, you leave when it’s still hot.  As we say ‘always leave them wanting more’.  But that’s a good scenario for play, not for relating.  Your partner gets focused on what’s in your toy bag of tricks and you can easily become the puppet for kinky play.

    A partner said to me once: I share who I am when I’m comfortable they like me.  That stopped me cold as I wondered who did I just like then if that wasn’t the real you?  I know the answer; it’s our Sunday best behavior we all put on.  It’s the courting ritual of mating and fear of rejection crap we all have to wade through, but that false start is limiting.  And then we wonder what happened to the person we first met and liked.  Where did they go?

    My mother taught me to play hard to get.  That way I string along the desire until I get the man with a wedding band.  What Mother didn’t tell me was that I was also trapped in that band. And desire is almost totally lost once the wedding bed becomes a marriage.   For that reason I knew I couldn’t marry someone I had not slept with prior to the legal agreement.  A bad lover is one of the rings of hell in my book.  I can only compare it to country and western music sung by drunk foreigners with bad breath and ugly feet.

    So what are we to do?  Pursue our personal desires is my solution with the expectation that you’ll find an equally hungry partner along the way.  That also fulfils for me, the desire for more answers to my curious mind, more beauty for my hungry eyes and more dance for my soul.  Okay let me make a plug for the ecstatic dance scene for a minute.  It’s a bunch of white folks for the most part cutting loose in semi darkness without judgement about their rhythm and skill.  Very nice once you get the hang of it. Get in your own corner of “don’t care what you look like and just move so it feels good within.”  If you can find a class at a yoga studio go, or better yet turn on your favourite music and create an event yourself.  Invite a friend or two over and really let loose.

    Dig deeper in your soul for the art inside of you and produce it.  We all have some creative talent.  It’s part of the packaging like two ears, lungs, liver etc. we are born that way.  I can’t paint but I can collect beautiful art.  My grammar sucks but I love writing.  I have rhythm but Alvin Alley won’t be calling me for an audition.  I love hosting a beautiful dinner party but Martha Stewart I’m not.  Great philosophical thought makes me wet, but didactic discussions like politics dries up the pussy.  Focus on what stirs you and go do it.  I’ve satisfied a bit of my desire by writing this piece and sharing it with you.  I hope it creates the same desires to fulfil for yourself.

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  • Sex and Cancer

    Sex and Cancer

    When you or someone you love receives a cancer diagnosis, sex may be the furthest thing from your mind. Instead, you are probably thinking, “Holy shit … how did this happen?” and “What do I do now?!” Though eventually, you start craving a return to some sense of normalcy, including at least some sexy time. For some survivors, this happens almost immediately; for others, it takes a bit longer. Thanks to new forms of treatment, many survivors have the time since they are living longer and richer lives than ever before.

    That being said, about half of survivors report having long-lasting sexual issues. Because sex involves both body and mind, these issues can be physical, mental, or emotional.  They may bother only you or they may affect your relationship with a partner. Regardless, the end result is the same: you aren’t getting the sex and intimacy they crave and deserve.

    In this two-part series, we’ll be exploring both the common sexual issues experienced by cancer survivors and what you can do about them.  Because I believe good sex, however you define it, is everyone’s birthright! Consider this Part I to be the foreplay to an amazing and climactic Part II.

    So what are these sexual issues? The most common ones are:

    • Loss of or decreased sexual desire (libido)
    • Pain with intercourse (dyspareunia)
    • The inability to become aroused
    • Difficulty reaching orgasm (climax)

    Other side effects can change your sex life even if they aren’t sexual in nature. For example, tiredness (fatigue), swelling in your arms and legs (lymphedema), and bodily pain can make sex both difficult and uncomfortable.  Heck, we all know that if you are tired enough, even the best sex can feel like a chore!

    Then there are the physical changes. Maybe you’ve gained or lost weight (and hair), had a surgery, or sported an ostomy. These things might understandably make you feel a little uncomfortable or even embarrassed when naked. I’m going to talk a lot about self-love ßdouble entendre intended in Part II but for now let me say this: your beautiful body has gotten you through so damn much. If the only thing you can muster is gratitude for what s/he’s gone through, then focus on that for now and worry about boosting your body image later.

    *back to our regularly scheduled programing*

    I know these changes can feel totally overwhelming and un-sexy.  Luckily, there are so many treatment options no matter what side effects you are experiencing. Being a cancer survivor does not have to mean the end of your (amazing) sex life.

    Go ahead and repeat that a few times until it sinks in. Then tune in for our Part II.

    Your Partner in Passion,
    Kait

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  • Finding that Perfect Style

    Finding that Perfect Style

    Where I live we are slowly moving into summer and as the weather becomes warmer so does the water in the sea and the pools.  Women look for new bikinis and bathing suits and the men try on their shorts from last summer, hoping they still fit.

    It is that time of year to decide if you are going “Old School” with a big “Bush” or go “Porn” and shave it all.  Of course, there are many versions in between so it’s all up to you and what you prefer.  If you have a man or a woman in your life you might want to ask them what they like and maybe do some research on the net to see different styles.

    Many of us women keep the same style all year around and this is what I want to talk about in this article.

    Personally, I prefer a nice “landing strip”, nice and short.  I’ve shaved it all off a few times, but for sme reason I felt uncomfortable, it didn’t look natural.  I know some ex-boyfriends of mine were all into the “Porn”.  They thought it looked sexy and cool and used a bunch of other adjectives to describe it.  I asked them if they would like me to shave them completely clean and their mouths turned into O’s and they slowly backed away.  Why not?  I would ask and they answered that guys should have hair and other lame excuses.  When I asked them why, specifically, they preferred their woman to be shaved, they would laugh and say something about getting less hair in their mouths.  I pointed out that women also get hair in our mouths if the guy has a jungle down there, but according to these guys it was not the same thing.

    I like a man to have his natural hair where it is supposed to be.  Now, don’t take me wrong, pubic hair should be cut short and neat. Some men shave their chests, I don’t like that.  If they are not swimmers at Olympic level they don’t need to streamline their bodies.  What about hair on the back and shoulders?  OK, here I do like to say a visit to a beauty salon or SPA where they do a good wax job would be a good idea.

    I believe that with the internet men have become used to seeing women with no hair and they expect their girlfriends and wives to do the same.  Let me tell you, apart from waxing, it takes time and dedication to keep it smooth, it is not easy.  Having said that, I also like to have my man to take care of himself and don’t leave me with the “Amazon” when I go down on him.

    I’ll keep my landing strip and hopefully some nice 747 or Airbus will come in for a landing one of these days.

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  • Pornology of Modern Prostitution

    Pornology of Modern Prostitution

    The word pornography derives from the Greek word porn, which originally referred to prostitutes and their trade.  During the late 1960s and early 1970s, interest in the adverse effects that might result from viewing pornographic movies and magazines led to the formation of a national commission to study the nature and effects of pornography.

    Observers have divided the effects of pornography into two classes: direct and indirect.  Direct effects might include arousal of the pornography’s audience and changes in their behaviour that result from exposure to it.  On the other hand, indirect effects include subtle, long-term changes caused by exposure to pornography, such as redefinitions of sexual objects or sexual accessibility.  Of which, some argue that a long-term consequence of pornography strengthens the identification of women as objects for sex or violence and weakens their identities as people.  Another indirect consequence is the pursue of sole gratification of sexual relations as pornography tends to reduce sex to a purely physical act rather than a component in a richer human relationship.

    Hollywood has provided a caricature of prostitution in the form of the “happy hooker myth” whereby a prostitute is a sexy, attractive woman who freely enters prostitution until the right man comes along.  She is portrayed as being empowered by her position and having an edge over men by reversing traditional gender roles.  The career of a call girl includes at least three developmental stages: entrances into the career, apprenticeship, and development of contacts.  The mere desire to become a call girl does not allow one to attain this status.  Instead, one requires a systematic arrangement for contacts.  As one call girl explains, “You cannot just say get an apartment and get a phone and everything and say ‘Well, I’m gonna start business,’  because you gotta get clients from somewhere. There has to be a contact”.

    However, the scene has changed with the advert of the Internet as sex workers can now easily connect with clients through the web.  This comes with immense benefits as they no longer need to fork over any profits to a pimp.  These sex workers operate through the security of traceable emails and high-end hotels.  This combination of autonomy, security, control, wealth, and lifestyle represents a major inducement to engage in prostitution.  In this instance, pornography takes on the subtle form of high-end prostitution laced with unspoken promises of the “happy hooker myth” as the distinction between client and service provider is blurred for the modern prostitute now wields more authority and choice of choosing their clients.

    As such, prostitution is no longer seen as a pure exchange of sex and money but a mutually beneficial arrangement.  There is a transgression of boundary as men are regarded as not simply just seeking sexual gratification but a “modern gentleman [who desires] … to date the best” while the sex workers have now revamped themselves as attractive sugar babies and goal oriented individuals who  “deserve  to date someone who will pamper, empower, and help [him/her] mentally, emotionally and financially.”  Fine examples include elite sugar daddy dating sites such as www.seekingarrangment.com and www.modernsugardaddy.com that target affluent males who “wish to spoil a beautiful and sexy woman in a mutual, beneficial and rewarded relationship”.  In addition, many of these call girls are deviating from the subservient role of merely offering sexual services as they too, may demand for a particular fantasy to be fulfilled or even request having the entire session of the intercourse filmed.  This certainly brings us to wonder about the evolvement in the traditional perception of pornography and prostitution.

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